Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Jason De Lucca - Crafting a Life of Authentic Leadership

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Jason De Lucca - Crafting a Life of Authentic Leadership · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder, and this is my dad show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast and, as I promised, we do finally have a new and exciting sponsor that's going to be joining us over the next 13 weeks or so, and they it is called the authentic edge podcast, which is going to be launching very, very soon.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: It is a podcast that is led by the fantastic and successful Jason DeLuca and executive sales and people leader at Dexian, as well as with a Paul DeFincenzo, who is a global sales leader at indeedcom.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: This podcast, authentic, authentic Edge, as I mentioned, is launching in the next month and it's really about a journey into the heart and genuine relationships into the workplace.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: So they're gonna talk about uncovering the profound impact that authenticity has on establishing instant trust, fostering long-term partnerships, as well as creating serendipitous connections that evolve into endearing business and personal relationships, which is exactly how I would describe my relationship with Jason and Paul.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: So, without further ado, let's get right to the next episode and I hope that you check out the authentic edge wherever you consume your podcasts.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: We are in season five of this fantastic journey.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: We are recording in January.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: This episode will come out later in Q1 or early Q2.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: But this next guest only happens to come to us because of the fantastic Paul, our boy Paulie, from Indeed.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: And then we found out we got more people in common, like the one and only Mark Nussbaum, the one and only Lydia, a fantastic employee at the lovely company called Dexian Solutions, former signature consultants.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: His name is Jason DeLuca, and when I first met this guy now I did love his haircut because he's bald and beautiful like me.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: But he is just a guy that spent a lot of time in sales and recruiting, as well as service level positions.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: He was a soccer stud at Chapman.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: He was not Pete the Panther, but he did play soccer and we're going to learn all about that.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: But more importantly, we're going to talk about Jason the dad and how he's working hard to become and continue being that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: So, without further ado, mr DeLuca, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Without question the best intro I've ever had.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: So thank you, sir.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: First take, first take Amazing.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Crushed it, crushed it.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Were you Pete the Panther?
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I was not.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I was too short.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: I'm only 5'6".
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: You got to be big to be Pete the Panther.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Which means you're 6'2 in the program.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Well, 6, five with the Afro, that's a Fletcher.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I took my yeah, Dr Rosen Rosen, that's your whole fist up.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: True story about Dr Rosen Rosen.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Ben Harris here for listening.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: He's a pilot for Alaska airlines.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Good, One of my good buddies.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I'm going to band and dunes with them in May.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: He, uh, was Dr Rosen Rosen as a Halloween costume in college, so now I just call him Dr Rosen Rosen.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Has a Halloween costume in college, so now I just call him Dr Rosen Rosen.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I'm literally.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I was at the airport Wednesday night this week.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: I'm walking through the airport like down there at midnight and sure as shit See him.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: There's Dr Rosen Rosen.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Captain, Captain Harris.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like hey, Dr Rosen Rosen.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: It's like it's Captain Rosen Rosen to you, sir, oh boy.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: It's like Captain Rosen Rosen to you, sir, oh boy.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: All right, we always try to each up so gratitude.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so funny, so I got a little stone here that says gratitude on it to my desk every day because it's something you need to be grateful in, Kind of like I'm going to go a little bit off script.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: You think about like it's kind of like Wheel of Fortune, you know it's kind of like Wheel of Fortune.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: You get the seven consonants and then a couple vowels the dad, the family I've been close with, and Dr Shelby Hill, who I talked to today, and I mean it's, it's uncanny the amount of great human beings and men that are put in my life at this stage in my life, so grateful for being a dad, grateful for being a husband to an amazing wife and two amazing daughters.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: But that's something that stands out right now that I just felt had to be had to be said.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: A bunch of great ones Love it.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: So it's funny.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: You say I used to say the word.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I'm grateful for the word serendipity because I used to say, man, I ironically happen or I randomly met that guy.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I don't think about that, I think about it.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: It's serendipity when we met and you meet people if you're curious enough at the right time in your life and then you look for meaning, you're like, wow, that was fricking.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Ooh, I know how I met that dude or I, what's why I met she and what's also.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I think what I'm grateful for is I'm never looking at my mindset's been trained for 48 years on this earth, almost.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Is what's in it for me now?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think that way.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I think what's in it to me for the future, the long haul, how can I help?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: But by continuing that mindset things keep coming back to me, which I call that boomerang mindset.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: So I'm grateful for that.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I'm grateful we get to spend time together and I'm grateful that I was able to fly home and Lily, I was the dude who sprinted.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I've never done this Sprinted from the C gates in Dallas airport to the A gates in Dallas airport.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: From the C gates in Dallas airport to the a gates in Dallas airport damn near pulled a hamstring.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I think I ran my fastest 40 ever and I made it within three minutes before the flight took off and the flight attendant I was like literally out of breath.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: She's like you made it.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: I'm like I know, and I think it is qualified for the Olympics and I think I need a drink.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Can I just get a quick, quick before we take off?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Quick, betty?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: And she's like yes, for sure.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: And I got upgraded, which was like fantastic way.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: And I made my daughter's basketball game Thursday night and the Seattle crack and we're on American airlines live, so I got to watch the game.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: That's fantastic.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: What a week, huh.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: It's funny from a traveling perspective when those little, those little winks happen and they've happened the other way too where you're like no, but when you get on that plane and you know you're finally getting home, there's just a level of yeah, 100 so I get it now it wasn't like um dell griffith from plane trains on mobiles and let my dogs bark a little bit yeah, it's funny when I when normally, when I get in that situation, my, my carry on is super heavy.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: It's not a roller, my backpack is full of stuff and I'm sweating.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Tell me about how you and your wife met and then a little bit about both your daughters.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, fantastic.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: So I met my wife Carrie in California.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: We worked for the same company, enterprise Rent-A-Car.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: So there's a lot of enterprise marriages out there because you work with A-type people and we started dating.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: She was married prior, and so Taylor, my oldest, uh, I adopted her.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Um, I she was, I think we started dating when she was around one ish and uh.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: So my wife Carrie, originally from, uh, north Carolina I'm in South Carolina now she was out at a enterprise rent a car and I mean an amazing human being and when we got to know each other became really good friends and it was just one of those things where we could finish each other's sentences.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: And one day I think it was like our first date we kind of looked at each other and we were like this is going to happen and I'll never forget it.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: After our first date, I went back and told my brother.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I said I'm going to marry her and almost 20, yeah, we're coming up on 21 years February 8th.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: So she's an absolute smoke show.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: I'm in sales, I married up, I'm happy to say that, I'm happy to say that.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, she's my ride or die, I would say my CFO, my COO, chro and, most of the time CEO.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: I'm just the last 23 years, I believe it is, and yeah.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: So then I have an oldest Taylor, who I adopted, graduated Clemson Nursing, amazing athlete.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: When she was young she was a soccer player and then kind of went into school, was a cheerleader, then went into school and graduated Clemson Nursing.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: I think the interesting fact for her is she was at Clemson when they were winning national championships.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: She went to a half of a football game during that time.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: She just was in studies and crushed it and graduated, got married.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: So she graduated December 17th 2020.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Got married December 31st 2020.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Moved to Chicago January 2nd of 2021.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: So she hit three things in a row real quick.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: She's since moved back.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: She's married to a great guy named Alex Huftalin.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Who anybody that has a married daughter.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: You always hope that they find the person that loves them the way that you love your wife, so you can really, when they say give away, you can give away that piece of your heart.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: You know it's taken care of and he loves her very very well, which is great.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: And, excuse me, my youngest is 20 and her name is Gabriella.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: She's a sophomore at Clemson studying event management, corporate planning, and she's an alpha fee joined a sorority this year.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: They are my world and uh, yeah, I mean I'm, I'm, I'm blessed, and it's kind of like there's no, there's no manual to parenting and you just do it the best you can and you want to raise good, productive members of society.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: And uh, yeah, I feel like my wife and I did a really good job at that.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Outstanding man.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: I got some scary stuff for you.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: My wife's name's Carrie, c-a-r-r-e-y, c-a-r-r-i-e.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah 27 ways, I think, to spell it.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Our wedding anniversary is February 20th.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Jeez, I describe my wife almost the exact way you describe your wife Married up, she, she runs finances.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I could give two shits about that.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: um, she's more operationally focused.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I've looked at a bank statement in ever I don't have a password.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: I think she blocked, blocked me out.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Um, joking aside, but like that's her strength, why would I?
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Why would I do something I suck at?
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, I can do it, but like she's better at it, um, absolutely she um stay at home, mom and then went back to work.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: She now works for clear edge marketing um, fantastic people at clear edge and she did event planning at actually Alaska airlines for like shoot 10 years and then tired with the kids for a bit and then in 2020, she went back to work and she's been there for almost shoot three and a half years.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Um, absolutely loves it and um, but, uh, it's as interesting as we get to know you.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: We have more in common as this story unfolds.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Um, okay, well, walk me back, or take me back in time when, when, uh, jay Jason was growing up and talk about the impact your parents had on you, jason was growing up and talk about the impact your parents had on you now that you're a dad.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so Mike and Cindy DeLuca were, hands down, the best parents on the planet.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: My mom passed at 59.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: My dad passed two years ago, so they're back home up in heaven and enjoying this.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: But when I say the impact that they left on people, we were the house that every Christmas people would go to their Christmas dinner and then be at our house until midnight playing games.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: My dad was a coach me in soccer coach.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: My brother in soccer impacted.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: He was just an impactor of people and um, and we were Italian family Sunday sauce Uh, we just loved unconditionally, was told by both my parents how proud they were of who me and my brother have become and who we are.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: And don't get me wrong, there was a lot of.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: There was a lot of discipline in there too, but you didn't.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: You didn't step out of line, but you knew that everything was done out of love.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: And so my dad was in never graduated college, started with a company called Bell and Howell before they became like a gimmicky home shopping club.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: They did printers and microfiche, and all that back in the 70s.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: He worked his way up to EVP of sales.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: I remember vividly.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: We lived in Yorba, linda, california.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Born and raised there.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: He worked in LA.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: He'd get up at four o'clock in the morning, go to work, drive an hour and a half to work, come home, change his clothes, go to soccer, practice, coach us at soccer, come eat dinner, go to bed, rinse and repeat.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And I think that's where I learned work ethic from and the importance of work ethic and providing.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: He taught me how to be a man, taught me how to love and respect women and my mom.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: It's very similar to my house, like my mom was the.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: She was the authoritarian and not the authoritarian sorry, she was the CEO of the house.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: She just let my dad think that he ran it you know, I mean it's just it's.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: It's.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: It's so funny when, when I look back now but, um, yeah, I mean the most amazing parents, when, uh, when, we had my dad's I don't even say funeral we had a celebration of my dad and it was at a country club and we had an open bar, we had food and we didn't know how many people were going to come and there was like 110 people that came and at one point I took a step back and grabbed my brother and we were looking at and there were people that hadn't seen each other in 30 and 40 years that were talking like my he was.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: He was the connector of people and I mean you would have thought it was a wedding celebrant, but people were laughing, they were telling stories and I felt him looking down saying you guys did it, you did it well, and so it was just a great way to send him off.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it's my brother, adam.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: He's five years younger than I am.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: We are thick as thieves.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: He definitely has our hairstyle, so it works.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Good looking dude.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Great looking dude Again.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Didn't go to college, started in graphics design, actually started in customer service for a company, worked his way up graphics design.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: He sells printing plates for corrugated boxes and he's crushing it.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: He lives out in California corrugated boxer boxes and, uh, it's crushing it.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: He lives out in California now.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: And uh, yeah, man, I mean when I say I had the best family, I had the best family.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: So mom went too soon, and so did dad.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if, how did they pass?
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: So my mom, um, I'll never forget this.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: It was 2006 Thanksgiving.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: She was at my house in Atlanta, when we lived in Atlanta, and she was coughed.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: They just moved out, set the stage, they just moved out to Palm Springs from Yorba, linda or Anaheim Hills and she'd come out and she was sick and going to see doctors.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: They said allergies, all that stuff, and she was at my house over Thanksgiving and was coughing like uncontrollably, to the point that I was frustrated.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I was getting angry Like mom, what's going on?
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: And she went back home and found out December 28, that she had stage four lung cancer non-small cell stage four lung cancer and she ended up passing, ironically, yesterday.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: So yesterday was her 17th heavenly birthday.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: She died less than a month.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: And it was one of those scenarios where not only did my mom give me life, she saved my life by the last 72 hours of her earthly life.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, it was something that was.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: It was out of a Hallmark movie and so I called a good buddy of mine.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: 30 minutes after I held her hand when she took her last breath and I said, hey, bud, like I need to be baptized.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: I was baptized Catholic when I was her first communion, but we were CEOs, we were Christmas and Easter only yeah, and it was one of those.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: We were on the soccer field and tournaments and all that that family always believed and I was like, nope, this faith is something you believe in and you don't see, and I saw it.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Not only did she give me life, but she saved my life.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: That's powerful.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my dad had a heart attack at 42, had a heart attack at 52, had a triple bypass at 73.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: And then his ticker finally just was like I'm done and he passed in 2021.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: He was actually riding his bike and just went down and somebody found him.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: When in 2021?
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: So he died October 23rd, which was three days after my birthday, which was the last time that I spoke with him, was on my birthday in 2021.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: He called me at four 30 in the morning, which his time, seven 30, my time I was playing golf in Tampa doing some strategy for for the next year with a couple of folks and, yeah, my the the last.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I wasn't going to answer the phone cause I was tired, I was sleeping and I'm like it's your dad and it's four 30 in the morning, like pick the phone up and uh, yeah.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: So I answered it and talked to him and he said I love you, big boy, I hope you have a great day.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: And the last words I said to him were I love you, poppy.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: And I realized at that point like that was a big moment for me.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: I realized that that conversation could have gone either not couldn't have happened, or could have gone a different direction based on some things that were happening in our life.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: I realized the importance of never leaving any anything unsaid with people on this earth.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: And it doesn't matter if it's family or foes or friends or whatever.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: So I started telling everybody that I know I love them.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: Hey, I love you.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: And I don't care, it doesn't make it, that's just me.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: That's great, I mean, it's awesome.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: It's.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: My dad passed December 29th 2021.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I was there for his last breath.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: The thing I don't regret, cause it's kind of like static, but it's like the bummer thing, was he didn't, we didn't have a funeral for him and a lot of it was.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: It was right during COVID and so there was limitations.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: But my dad, he had like his last, I would say, 10 years of his life was just a shit show health, wise, dementia, alzheimer's.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: We got divorced a long time ago, so like he just kind of like started to just unravel and those he was like the socialist of all social dude, not like socialistic, but like people loved him.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: He was a connector, he was, um, he wasn't like the best sales guy, everybody's, like a, I think, an average top performer some years, but he struggled with confidence, I remember, but my, but he was just the dad that went to every single college football game, every one of my games never missed a thing, um, and so we had him cremated and so like we did a little celebration in one part and I haven't, we haven't done the rest of it yet, so it's just kind of sits in my house, so it's, I see his picture.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: And then he did.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I did like a longer funeral in the sense where every every episode in season three, the podcast we I dedicated to him.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: So 52 weeks out of the year we I could think about him and uh, but once the weather improves and the snow goes, where?
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: We're gonna go?
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Up to mount rainier, where he wants the rest of his ashes, um, but not definitely the top, because I'm not gonna go fall down the mountain, sorry pops.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Um, but I'll tell you, man, one funny story.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: When he was uh.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: So dementia is a weird, nasty ugly disease, um, and it turns people into like really really bad people and you got to learn to kind of like not argue, you got to just reason and get into character and kind of go with it.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Well, the last six weeks of his life, almost like the dementia went away.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: It was really really weird and me and my and I went from like not wanting to see him, almost having caregiver burnout, to like I couldn't wait to see him.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: And we were.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: I was like you know, he couldn't wait here, so I'd use my phone, I'd write down notes, we'd, we'd talk about stuff and he would get confused Sometimes.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: He thought Ryder was me, my son.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: He thought me I was Ryder.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: He thought Ryder was still playing.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: He thought Ry college, he was asking random questions.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: So he just like went into character.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: But this nurse comes in.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: God love her little heavier set hispanic lady.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: She walks in and my dad goes hey, big mama, what are you horny or something?
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: What are you doing here?
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: oh no and I was like what in the f did you just say to?
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: my dad.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like I look and my son starts laughing like I've never seen him laugh and that's like the best memory we have Now.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I was so apologetic to her.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: I was like I'm so sorry.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: She's like no, no, we love Mike, it's okay.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like no, it's not.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: That's not okay to talk to people.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: She's like no, it's, and we laughed.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: We still laugh about it to this day.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: A, my dad got away with it.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Did I hear you say your dad's name was Mike?
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: So was mine.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: There we go Crazy.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, crazy, I mean when, when?
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: So when my mom, that last 72 hours we I got I'd been there from like the 28th until maybe the 10th of January, and then I was like she was, you know, get going to chemo and getting things kind of squared away, and we thought that she was going to turn around because we were we're, we're unapologetic optimists, like we're just, yeah, she's, she's going to get fine, she's going to get good.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: And I went home to take care of some work stuff, and then we she had a fall and so it was like, hey, you got to come back out.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: And I brought the family out this time.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: And we got there on a Sunday and I'll never forget it, she was, she was sitting there on the bed and she couldn't really articulate that well, cause she had sores in her mouth from the chemo and all that stuff.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: And she kept saying that she was like she saw two people in the room and she was kept hearing kids laughing and just this it was.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: It was weird.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Like we're just like, okay, well, all right.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: And she looks at my dad and she goes get me home.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: And my dad goes Cindy, you can't go home, you're, you're, you're in the hospital and he's like she, she looks at him, she looks at me and she goes get me home, like in the stern mom voice.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: So I go out, I talked to the doctor and the doctor was like, well, I mean, she's going to be on hospice, she's probably got 30 days.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: And that hit my dad like a ton of bricks.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: He didn't realize.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: So we got her home and again, like her audible ability just got worse and worse and worse, to the point that we couldn't understand her and we were getting frustrated.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: My wife could hear her crystal clear, knew every word she was saying.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: And, uh, she, um, for one day she, like she just slept the whole day and it was like okay, nobody gave her her meds and she was sleeping.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: And so we're all talking and the hospice nurse comes out there and thank, thank goodness she was from New York.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: Because she was like hey, I don't think you understand why I'm here.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: My job is just to make her comfortable.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: You have to get, you have to get prepared.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: And we're all like, prepared for what?
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: And she goes, she's, she's on the tail end of her life.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: So we were like, oh my gosh, and she goes back in, comes outside and she goes who's Carrie?
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: That was my wife.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: And my wife goes in there and she's talking to her and going through a few things and my mom says she wants to have a party.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: And she's like I want to have a party tomorrow with all my friends.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: So we're like she's turning the corner, this lady doesn't know what she's talking about.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: And we start making phone calls and she wakes up that day and my wife prayed over her about, hey, I hope she has the ability to talk and speak and be herself.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: And I swear Casey, like the, the second she woke up she was herself full of piss and vinegar and joking around with everybody.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: And she's like Jason, I want to go outside.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: And I'm like well, you can't.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: And she's looking at the bed again Mike, my dad, cindy, you can't go outside, you got to stay in bed.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: She just looks at me.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like all right, so I'm managed the bed outside and we're sitting out there.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: She's just loving the fresh air.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: And she goes get me back inside.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: All of a sudden, out of nowhere, and then I look, I get it.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: We're like the three stooges, we're like wheeling her around.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: We get her back settled and right, when we get inside the sprinklers like douse, exactly where we were at, and I look over at her and she just winks at me and I'm like what's going on?
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: And right before I guess prior to that she started seeing people in colors.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: My brother was teal, I was red, my dad was white, our friends were pink and yellow.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, it was just the weirdest thing.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Somebody would walk in and she would tell my wife what color they were and towards the end of the night, you know, everybody was leaving and my mom was like 12 more hours.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: My story's complete.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: We were like huh, it was like eight o'clock and she just off to bed.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: I stayed there that night.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: My brother had done the heavy lifting for a long time, so he went out and let some steam off.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: And Casey, if I didn't hold her hand at 8.22 in the morning when she took her last breath, it was like good night.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she orchestrated her last 72 hours and left an impact on every single person.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: So cool.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: So you when you said that you made me think about when my dad passed.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: It's like they get better before they get worse.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Like I was like I'm like a fricking dimensions going away, like, and I was almost like I had caregiver burnout at the end from all the years of taking care of care of him.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: But I was so grateful those last six, six weeks.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: But he also, at one point I was in the room and I look, he looks up and he's starting to smile and I look behind me and it was his mom and we called her and my grandma this is the sarcasm coming not to offend any jehovah's out there, but my grandma was jehovah witness and talking about getting screwed as a kid, like no birthday card.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: How do you not get a birthday card for your grandma?
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: If I could change one thing about the jehovah's, like, come on, let's celebrate the birthdays.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Come on, guys, all right.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: So now that I've offended all the job witness out there, I apologize, but grandma grace was up there and my dad's looking at her and I go.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: What are you smiling at?
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I go, grandma, I go, I go.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: Is she here?
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Shook his head.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, I was like holy.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: And then there's one point where he couldn't really hear and I was, he was, I was like wanting him to kind of pass away because I knew like this quality life was so bad.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: It was like this go to heaven, get up there, there's golf, there's freaking martinis, you go up there and have fun, whatever.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and on my phone I still have a note that I still won't ever get rid of and it said I wrote, I wrote, I wrote God loves you.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: And I showed it to him and he smiled and I and I said are you ready, are you ready to go to heaven?
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: And I showed it to him.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: He could read everything.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: He just couldn't talk.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: And he goes not yet.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Case, almost dude like goosebumps, and I was with him for his last, last breath too.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: But with the trippy thing was so Carrie, my wife and I, we were there for them and we were playing some Al Green cause he loved like some soul music.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I was like damn, dad, you got some soul brother like this.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Couldn't imagine him like backing it up or, you know, doing booty drops in the dance floor.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: But he, uh, all of a sudden he takes his last breath.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: I'm like I think he's gone and they scooped him up really quickly, get us out.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: We're obviously got sad real quick.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: So it just finally happened.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: And then there's music on at the assisted living facility.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: And the next thing, I know there's a UB 40 song and I'm like, and my wife's hugging me, I'm like, all of a sudden, tears kind of go to his laughter.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, do you hear this song?
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, I go.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Didn't we like dance to this in eighth grade?
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: And we both start laughing.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like, sure as shit, I know he did that.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally I know.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: So this is what's funny, man, everybody at home, we did not.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: This was whenever we do these podcasts.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: There's no script, there's no.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: We're just going to have a curiosity drive and celebrate what we can do as dads.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: So, like these stories that we're uncovering today, you know, if you're a dad listening at home or somebody listening at home, you've not like talked about like family or whatever, and to this level of detail, like think about the impact you can have and the way you can celebrate your loved ones.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: It's just powerful stuff, that kind of like.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: And I was before we started, jason.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I told Jason I was fricking, smoked and tired.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I got more energy now than anything.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: I'm so you know it's being authentic man, it's just being real and I'm kind of changing the topic a little bit.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: But Paul, who introduced us like we're starting a podcast called the Authentic Edge Shameless plug it's not even out yet and Gary Brekka, if you haven't seen it, talks about authenticity.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: And when two people who are authentic connect, the frequency doubles the human frequency and I never really understood what that was After watching it.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: There's two things that have to happen for you to be authentic your words have to be true and you have to believe what you say.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: And when I think about the first time that you and I connected, that energy level was I was buzzing.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: When I say buzzing, like I was tingling and I feel like that right now and not off drinks just as well Not a drink not yet, it's Friday, but it's not.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: It's not time yet, that's, that's not Lydia's listening and I'll probably get HR for that, but yeah, I mean it's.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: There's something to this and I think it's important for people to understand, like the authenticity, the vulnerability of being a dad Like you can't, you don't do it right all the time.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: I would love to have a couple things back.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: There's no manual of parenting that says, hey, when your kid says this, do this, it's like, oh gosh what do, we do here and you just do the best you can.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Yep, and there's a lot of people that sorry.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: I would say have you ever shared a failure with your kids that you've had?
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: I've been very transparent.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: You know the failure that I had from my kids perspective.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: So I spent 15 years at Enterprise Rent-A-Car right and had a great career there.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Love myself some enterprise, like it's enterprise mobility.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Now, like great people, great culture, developed a lot of folks I was.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: They went through an order change so my whole job was eliminated in 2012, even though we were winning awards and doing really good things.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: But I went to a company called TitleMax and at that company I was there for two years.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: They moved me to Greenville and it was a little bit different and the culture there was a little bit different and the day-to-day was a little bit different.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: And after two years we were on vacation and we went down to Ponte Vedra sitting on the beach and it was Thursday.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: I had to go back to work Monday, so I had a little bit of the downers.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, it's getting close and the kids come and sit in my lap at like five o'clock, sun setting on the Atlantic side, and I'm thinking, okay, this is it, this is my plug-in right here, wife's there and my kids look at me and they go you're not the same dad anymore.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: And they just gut me and my wife goes you're not the same husband anymore.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: So where maybe they shared my failure, they shared the fact and we gave them the openness to come and say, hey, be honest.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: And that was a Thursday, and I drove home from Ponte Vedra on that Sunday, drove to Atlanta on Monday and dropped my keys off, said I quit.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: So if you can't look yourself in the mirror or when people give you that feedback and you can't receive it, I talk about listen to understand, don't listen to respond.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: And that was the hardest throat punch I've ever ever had.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Another scary thing I have a saying.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: I say listen to learn versus listen to persuade, jesus I mean is it scary at this point or serendipitous?
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Good God man.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Hey Seuss, you really wanted us to meet my man upstairs.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: That's right man.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Nothing happens like that it's all.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: it's all orchestrated.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: So I think I want to talk about the word belief, um, uh, because believe is.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: I learned the power of that word at age 41.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: For the people that have had zoom calls with me, you'll see it behind me selfishly.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: I use it for my coaching business, but it's mainly for myself, selfishly, to remind myself that I believe what I do matters.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: I want my kids to see it.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: They actually have belief signs in their room.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: It's obviously a little Ted Lasso theme, but it's such a powerful word because when we believe, what we do matters and I learned this power of this from a guy named John Kaplan.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Shout out to John in season one, the episode season one he was on.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: It's such a gift that we can give our kids.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: And so, instead of being parents that, like, we live vicariously through our kids and we tell them what they should do and they have to do this and do that, versus if we just like, ask them questions and just give them confidence, inspire them.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: Don't be so outcome focused.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Remind them that if there's so much gold in the process of growth and, um, you know, I think about, like when I have to watch my son struggle on the golf course, he's, he's grateful he's going to play golf next fall at this place called Southern Oregon university.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: But when he struggles it's so hard I'm like.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: This is so good, because yeah.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Because, he's, you know, and I always tell them.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: But I said, whether you shoot 69 or 82, uh, I still love you.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: God loves you and the sun's coming up tomorrow.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I believe in you.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, love that, believe in yourself.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: I mean that's that thing for my girls that we try to instill in pretty early is and it's.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: It's hard.
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: You have different kids that are different they're, they're all wired different and they go through different times of, you know, not believing they can do something or being self-conscious about something.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: And I've always, I've always, at least I've tried to instill you can do whatever you want.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: You just have to believe in yourself.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: And to your point on failure, like failure is not falling down, failure is staying down and you're going to fall down a lot.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: I mean, I have scars and wounds and man, but if you, if you're going to fall down, if you're going to fail and fall down, fail forward and to that point, believe, like believing you can do something and believing in yourself, you have to, you have to intrinsically believe in yourself and realize that we're going to have headwinds, we're going to have hard times.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: It's the world, it's life.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm sure you've seen this in your corporate career, in the work I do now as a coach for companies and consultant for companies.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Like one of the one of the most fun things to help younger let's say younger sellers with is the belief and because they so often they focus on having to memorize our 48 page slide deck and everything our company does.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: And you know I think about as a dad like you don't have to just like to my son or daughter, just learn one thing a day, just one thing, and like like back to sales people.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: There I was talking to a team of like probably 40 people and it's almost like this freeing feeling when you know that we all are flawed human beings, we all are got issues, but, um, I feel like this mindset that I've been trained.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: It helps me get back to into growth mode, where I get into fixed mode.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: And then there's also this framework that I love teaching my kids.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: That I got taught is it's okay not to know every answer, but just not okay not to do anything about it.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Then you're constantly in this like curiosity, and people who are listening at home are like well, it's easy to say you believe in yourself.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Well, why isn't it easy?
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: We all have gifts.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: Hi, I'm Leslie Vickery, the CEO and founder of ClearEdge, a company dedicated to transforming the business of talent.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: Through our three lines of business ClearEdge, marketing, recruiting and Rising that help organizations across the recruitment and HR tech sectors grow their brands and market share while building their teams with excellence and equity.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: I believe we were one of Casey's very first clients.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: He helped our sales and account teams really those people on the front lines of building and developing client relationships in so many ways.
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: Here are a few.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: He helped us unlock the power of curiosity.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: For me it was a game changer.
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: I was personally learning all about TED-based that's, tell, explain, describe, questioning and that really resonated with me.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: We also learned about unlocking the power of humility and unlocking the power of vulnerability.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: Casey taught us to be a team player, to embrace change, to stay positive.
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: He is one of the most positive people I know.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: He believes that optimism, resilience and a sense of humor can go a long way in helping people achieve their goals and overcome obstacles.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: And I agree Casey's book Win the Relationship, not the Deal.
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: It is a must read.
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: Listen.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: Whether you're looking for coaching and training or a powerful speaker or keynote, casey is one of the people I recommend when talking to companies.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: The end result for us, at least as one of Casey's clients companies, the end result for us, at least as one of Casey's clients our own clients would literally commend our approach over all other companies, from the way we were prepared in advance of a call to how we drove meetings to how we follow up.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: It sounds really basic, I know, but let me tell you it is a standout approach that led to stronger relationships.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: I encourage you to learn more by going to CaseyJCoxcom.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: You have nothing to lose by having a conversation and a lot to gain.
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to Casey's podcast, the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: If we slow down to think about there's something positive, you've done something in your life.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: I don't believe that there's something that's just constantly negative.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: Maybe you might be more negative than positive.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: That's okay, but let's do something about it Well it could be head trash too.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: It could be somebody that you know there's a phrase can't, never, could do nothing Right.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: And so, from that aspect, you know when I, when I, when I feel, when I talk about believe and I talk about believe and I talk about younger sales folks, and that that's actually a big part of my responsibility at Dexian is helping the younger folks get to a level of selling that makes sense.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: If I knew right now, if I knew at 30, what I knew right now at 51, oh my gosh, crush it.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: And sometimes it's that journey you have to go through.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: But my, my, why right now, after I'd left Ronstadt, was like I want to give that back.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: And there's only a few things that you really have to be good at.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: You have you said it earlier you have to genuinely be curious, you have to ask really good questions and you have to want the best situation and scenario for your customer.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: If you go at it from a place of I don't want to sell a logo, I don't want to sell, I don't want to go wreck hunting, I want to build a business partner, I want somebody to go.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: That's the best place I've ever done business and you can?
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: You can take the name out.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: You can take the corporate name out and insert your personal name.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: No, I'm calling.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: I'm calling Casey Casey's my guy.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: You don't even have a chance, don't even think about it.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: And if you and that's I really want to get on this, this platform of curious questions solve a lot of problems and they stop a lot of fights and they stop a lot of no's and they just open up the ability to go.
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: When you said that, what did you mean?
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: You said that for a reason.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: Help me understand.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: I'm confused.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: I must be missing the mark here.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: Help me understand.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: There's the humility right there and the curiosity and the vulnerability.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just want to help.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Superpowers, brother.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: It's amazing, so good.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: So you earlier in the journey.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Let's go back.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: You talked about work, ethic, providing, being a dad, being a man, love and respect women.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: As you think about all the lessons you've taught, like what are, tell me what comes to mind when you and, uh, as you and Carrie are raising your daughters like what were the, what were the core values that were just like must haves and non-negotiables.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: That's a good question and, as I reflect back I think it was it was situational and and where they were in their stage of life and you know, as they, as they become adults, it changes.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: And so, from a, from a core value perspective, be honest, don't lie.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: A we're going to know, we're going to find out.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: And B your, your punishment, your accountability, is going to be much more severe.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: If you're not honest, you're going to make mistakes, it's okay.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: There's repercussions and consequences for all of your decisions.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: So think about that, One of the things that we did from the get-go.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: Have you heard of the show Intervention?
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's on A&E, I think it is.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: It's basically a show about addiction and an intervention that happens.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: And so it's these folks that are you and me and everybody else who have a significant event in their life and they make a decision and next thing, you know they're addicted to whatever it might be, and then their family gets it.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: So we watch that with our children and specifically for the reason of there's consequences and there's going to be pressure out there, so we want you to know that you can come to us at any time and be honest.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: So I think those two were pretty instrumental in how we raised them, with respects to you know, do the right thing and do unto others as you'd have done to you and all of that.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: But that's those, those are.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: Those are probably the two.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: Biggest is Be a good human.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: There's consequences and we were just.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: We were very real with our kids and maybe that was or wasn't the right decision.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: We'll know as time goes on.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: But we just never wanted them to find out from somebody else.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: Well, there's no manual.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: Like you said, I think we're all doing our best and you got to give yourself grace, give yourself benefit out.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: If we're back to your podcast, which I can't wait for it to come out and people listen to, cause you and Paul together are going to be like the dream team.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: Um, the authentic edge that just screams like I can't wait to be a subscriber.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: Um, but you think it's like what a great lesson for your, for your kids, to understand and um, yeah, and here's the thing, though case is that, as parents, you don't know your ass from your elbow, like I can say this to people that have followed me and worked with me and I've mentored, and it makes a super big impact, and we're in a time in society where your kids are I don't know if they're taught, I don't know what it is, but they're, they're, they're meant to think that their parents don't know what's going on, and so for us, that that was, that it's.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: It's very hard and and you could you only add them for a short amount of time, and then, when they're adults, they get to go make their own decisions and they, they get their consequences, and it's it's.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: It's an interesting journey to watch adult kids take their flight, and there's nothing.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: You, you want to protect them, but you have to let them.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: You have to let them go yeah, no, it's.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: That's the hard.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: I always get my wife, carrie.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: She always talks about like um, you, you got, you got him for like 18, 18, a training camp before you release him to the pros.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Now you're always going to be a parent, you're always going to have anxiety about stuff, but you hope you've you've been honest enough, you've hope you've taught the life lessons, you've hope you've walked through.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: And that's why I asked you about about failure earlier.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: I think it's important my opinion to to talk about our failures as parents to our kids so they understand that it's okay to admit those gaps.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: So you know, go do, but go do something about it.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: It's fine and again, yes, absolutely.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: But it's also finding the right resources that can help.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: You know the same guy that I told you that I picked up the phone and called 30 minutes after my mom had passed.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: He, he, he's got a, a ministry called info for families.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: I N F?
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: O and it's imperfect and normal families only, and it's it's such a great platform.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: They talk about the hypersexual uh society that we're in that talks it's marriage and family, like they, they.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: He wrote a book called meet me in the middle that we're in that talks it's marriage and family, like they, they.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: He wrote a book called meet me in the middle and it's it's a book that daughters read the front way and then you flip it over and dads read it and you meet in the middle and it tells the girl hey, this is what your dad's trying to do for you.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: And then it tells you the dad hey, this, this is what you need to think about from a daughter's perspective.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: You know, she's going to look at how you love your wife, as to what she's going to want to bring home, and there's, there's always that oh boy here, who's who's she bringing home?
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: What's, what's it going to look like?
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: Right, he's got another one, a guy's man to awesomeness.
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: Just a bunch of good books that are written from a guy who is super talented.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: His name's Barrett Johnson.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Barrett and Jennifer are good friends of ours, but their their ministry is spectacular, and you have to find the right resources again, because it's the manuals non-existent, especially in today's world.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: Well, I think it goes back to being vulnerable.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: It's okay to ask for help, it's okay to say you don't know.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: It's okay to say, lean on somebody who's got.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, I use I love sarcasm, so it's like I can either say, man, I, I'm a, I'm a great pilot, I'm going to go fly our family to to.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: You have never flown a plane in my, and that's why you pay the airline fee and they get you there safely.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: That's what they do.
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm pretty self-deprecating, I mean being 5'6" 5'7" and you always had to take the bullets out of the gun for people, right?
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: So we've taught our kids.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: We've taught our kids if you're self-deprecating and you can laugh at yourself, it doesn't matter if anybody else laughs at you yourself.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter if anybody else laughs at you Like, especially in.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: We didn't grow up in a society of filters and pictures and likes and cyber bullying and all that garbage.
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: If you had a problem with somebody and went all right like, you had to say it to your face and then I had to risk either getting punched or, you know, getting in a fight, and I think that's that's something that, as parents, we have to think about.
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: You got to teach your kids.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: You got to arm your kids with the right ability to deal with what's going on in their society.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: And I mean who doesn't, who doesn't like somebody who's self-deprecating just shows confidence.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm, I'm really handy um around the house.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm really handy around the house.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about starting like a podcast for like just do-it-yourself projects at home.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: Heavy sarcasm and people who know me are like you're, so full of shit.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: If you Google handyman and then say put worst handyman United States history, images would be of me.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: The number of jokes I get at my buddy's expense.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: But I could give two shits.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: It's not my jam.
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: My wife is more handy than me mine too same who cares?
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: Same.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my go-to is like well, how many words can you type for a minute?
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: How many people can you talk in front of?
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: yeah, exactly you know, we all have our superpowers Right, exactly as you think about your dad, because you got two girls in college.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you got one in college, one got married.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: You and Carrie have done a fantastic job.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there was bumps along the way, and so one of the questions I always like to ask is if you think about an area of your dad game that maybe you knew wasn't always the best along this journey, but you said man, here's an area that I I found a gap earlier but I fixed it and here was the positive outcome.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'll lead my witness here, like for me you know, I come from a family a lot of impatient people and so like I have to focus on being and one of my patients gets out of control like my wife and I've talked recently it's like, hey, that not scary impatient case.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: He comes out.
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: We got to think about a way to like back him down a little bit and take a deep breath, maybe take a walk, and but I at least I know when it's coming I'm like, oh, shoot, I don't want this guy to come out, but it's in there someplace.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: And but when I'm a dipshit, I'll go to my kids, say, you know, as I kind of lead the witness, I go first Tell me what comes to mind as an area of your dad game that maybe you have worked on or you're still working hard to become that full-time leader of your family.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: I was reflecting on this recently, just based on some situational stuff at the house.
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: I wish I would have been much more deliberate about spending dedicated quality time.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: And that's not driving to a soccer game or it's not time at a cheerleading competition.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: It's creating the kind of environment that there was a yearly trip or there was something that was built up and it was just for them and I just I did not do a good job at that and I could blame the work.
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: I was working seven, 30 until six, and I can blame you.
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: We all have excuses and we know what excuses are like, right?
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: So yeah.
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah and, and I, I wish I was better, I, I, I try to do it now, but it's at their 20 and 24.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: You can never, I guess never be too late.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: But I think my, I think my kids know that I'm always here, Like I pick if they need to get ahold of their mom.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: They call me and they know I mean I, I'll be on a call and I'll pick up the phone.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: I mean that's to me, it's like I'm not going to let that phone ring and then not have a chance to talk to them, you know.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: So do you think you're like that because how your dad passed?
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Do you think you're like that?
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: Because how your dad passed Heightened but I did it before too I mean, I got two stunning, three stunning women in my house and I'm a protector by nature, so I was like what's going on?
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: Everything okay, and it's never.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: It's like here it is.
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, are you with mom?
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: It's never, hey, dad, I love you.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: It's always the joke.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love you, babe.
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, dad, come on, I love you too.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: I just need to talk to mom.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: Of course you do, and it's a joke and and we're, we all have fun with it.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: But well, I definitely see the protector.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: I see the nunchucks and throwing stars behind you, joking people.
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: He does not have that.
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, if you were to summarize, we've talked about a lot.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: We've talked stories, we've talked some some, some gaps and wisdom.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: Hopefully, if you were to think about summarizing our conversation today, that dads can take, you know, from our conversation on on, maybe looking, looking themselves in the mirror and figuring out ways they can become maybe a better leader of their home, better leader of their family.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: We're not judging anybody, we're just giving them things to think about.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: Tell me what you know.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: Two or three things come to mind based on our conversation today.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we talked about um, listen to understand and not to respond.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm Italian and I was.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: I was listening to one of yours and I can't recall his name, but he came from an Italian family.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: Italians go to level one discussions really quick and just listen to understand, Like what's the meaning for the question or why are you doing that, and try to take about five seconds before you respond and it's hard and it's definitely something that's hard.
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: Spend time with your children Quality time.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: It's definitely something that I did not do well, and it's that gosh.
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: I wish I can.
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: Can I get that?
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: time back but you can't and then be vulnerable.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: It's, it's okay, like it's okay.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: Dads carry a lot.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: We have to.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: We have to put on the tough exterior and we have to.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: Everything's going to be fine, but we're out.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: I mean as dads and I'm I'm loving on the dads that are listening to this there's a lot on our plate and there's a song out there From Dax called what it takes to be a man.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: That thing just came out, that thing is heavy plate, and there's a song out there from Dax called what it takes to be a man.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: I think just came out.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: That thing is heavy but it's.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: It's something that when your kids understand what you do, or when your kids understand the why behind what you do, there's large impact in that.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: Be consistent, be consistent and be predictable.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: And that could be in, you know, from the time that you're young, setting boundaries, or from the time that you're dealing with middle age, when you're dealing with, um, adolescence and and middle school years.
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: Find some patience.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: You know, every, every generation reflects back on.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: Well, my generation, well, my, we did this.
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: We didn't have this.
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: We also didn't live in what they're living you think about.
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: You think about, you know today's society.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: They're battling instant addiction with media, social media and electronics and instant gratification.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: We were wondering like I wonder how long that tree has been growing over there.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: Why are bushes bushy?
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this stings when I do this.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: This hurts.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: Why did I do that?
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do it again, like there's, it's just such a different time.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: So I think that's, that's probably my three or four that I would say from my failures.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: Love it.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: If people are been intrigued by your story and they want to connect with you, what's the best way we can send them your way?
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: Heck LinkedIn I'll give you my phone number right now.
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: Somebody want to call me, you can call me, it doesn't matter, you can find me.
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: Jason DeLuca LinkedIn.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: This will be linked in the show notes.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: We'll make sure that's linked in the show notes.
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: All right, my man, it's now time to go on what's called the lightning round, which I'm sure you've maybe heard a few episodes.
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: This is where I go completely random.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: I ask questions I've not thought of.
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: I show you the hits of the negative effects of taking too many hits in college not bong hits, but football hits.
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: Your job is to try to answer them quickly and my job is to try to get a good giggle out of you.
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, are you ready?
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: Born ready, sir, that first giggle does not count.
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, first question If there was to be a three-way mud wrestling you, paul and Mark Nussbaum with Lydia roughing it who's going to win?
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: Me why?
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: No question, I'm just scrappy.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: I don't lose, especially in those kinds of situations.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: Hallmark Challenge.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: I hope if you guys get into mud wrestling you'll make a Dexian sales kickoff.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: Maybe you can get the stage to happen.
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: Put it in a cage, Just get it going.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: Cage match is good.
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: What was the last book you read?
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: Start With why.
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: Why, simon Sinek?
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, if I was to go on your phone right now, what would be the one song your team would be shocked that you listened to.
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: It would be hardcore rap.
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: It would be easy Ice cube NWA.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: I grew up on the West coast, dude, that's.
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: That's that's what I grew up on.
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: Pimpin ain't easy, man, pimpin' ain't easy.
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: Tell me the number one movie you quote Fletch.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: Got your whole fist up there, doc, using the whole fist and breathe easy.
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: Moon River, God, Moon River Actually we have a place in Eastern Washington.
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: It's off.
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: You turn right on Moon River, you get there, and every time I see it, I do the Moon.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: River.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: People think I'm joking.
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like no, there's a Moon River.
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: If you were to go on vacation right now, you and Kerry, you're leaving tonight where are you going?
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: Probably one of those overwater bungalows, somewhere where there's sun, and water and copious amounts of tropical drinks.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: That sounds outstanding, specifically in the cold winters we've had here.
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: He Made a Difference.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: Now, believe it or not, your next airport.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: You're going to see this thing everywhere.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: Everyone wants a copy.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Everyone's buying it.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: He Made a Difference is crushing.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: It's on Amazon, it's in Barnes and Noble, it's everywhere, and now Netflix and Hulu and YouTube and all the people who are going to make movies are fighting over it.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: You are now the casting director.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: I need to know who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed new hit movie.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: The Rock.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: Dwayne Johnson.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: He shrunk.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: That's the only reason that I can, that I want it is because that's the physique I've always wanted to have and I never know.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it's like from looking down the high.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, and last question, tell me two words that describe Carrie Kind and stunning.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: There we go, mic drop Lightning rounds over.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: I giggled more of my own jokes, which is that's what good dads do.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: He was stoic.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: I think we're going to give him the nod, the win on this, this epic lightning round match.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: Uh, jason's been fantastic.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: Spending the last hour with you this time flew by um again.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: Everybody at home, don't?
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: You don't need a park, a podcast, to have conversations like these.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: It's called having curiosity and listening, and if you've not had this type of conversation with a friend, reach out and ask questions, ask how things are going, but truly mean it and watch how this will start impacting your, your um, your mindset.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: Maybe you haven't had these types of conversations with your kids.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: One of the early episodes got him Matt Miller.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: He asked a great question I like to ask my kids all the time, which is son Ryder Riley tell me how dad can be a better dad this week Ask for feedback, right, and so I'm grateful for our sponsors.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: Let's kind of.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: We're going through some, some changes in the sponsorship of the podcast, which is exciting, but I want to say thanks for everybody's support.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: Thanks for all the dads who continue to listen, or moms or grandpas or grandpas whoever you're out there, we really, really appreciate it.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: But, jason, I know this is not the last time we're going to talk.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: Brother, let's make it a goal in 2024 to meet in person.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: That'd be fantastic, hopefully on a golf course, but I appreciate your time, brother.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: It was great spending time with you today.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: Thanks for the opportunity.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: Casey.