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Kind AND Clear: How to Lead with Radical Candor (Without Feeling Mean) · The Boujee Multipreneur

• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, welcome back to the Bougie Multipreneur.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Hillary.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk about something that will either make or break your business.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, your sanity as a business owner.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that is saying the hard thing.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: So this episode is inspired by a book I read called Radical Candor.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's by Kim Scott, but we're going to go a little bit beyond that book today because it's not just theory, it's like the real life stuff.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: This is the team members showing up late, employees not meeting expectations, patients falling off care plans if you're a chiropractor like me, and business partners not pulling their weight.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of addressing it, we hesitate, right?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: We soften it, we delay it, or we avoid it completely.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was just talking to a friend about this too, my bestie, and we try to be so nice sometimes that it doesn't really help anyone, right?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to say the hard things, we don't want to come off kind of bitchy.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: But in the end, does it help either party?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Probably not.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I have learned this the hard way early on in business.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I thought being a good leader or business owner meant being nice.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted my employees and team to like me.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted it to be just easy and fun and a positive work environment, right?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's so hard about that?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: But if something wasn't working, I would just let it slide, like, oh, she's just having a bad day, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Or I would hint at it, you know, that passive aggressive stuff that we like to do.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or I tell myself, well, it wasn't a really big deal.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't lose that much money by her messing up.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just keep it to myself.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: But when we do that, the behavior doesn't change.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I still got frustrated and the culture of the business got confusing.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the worst part was the team didn't trust where they stood.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're unclear, people fill in the blanks for themselves.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So the cost of avoidance, right?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: The cost of us not talking about it when we just avoid hard conversations.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: What does that cost us really?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: It lowers our standards.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: What we now tolerate becomes the norm.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: It can create resentment in the team.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you start thinking, you know, why am I the only one that cares this much?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Or the other team doesn't want to do as much because they see someone else not doing as much.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: If they don't care, why should so-and-so care?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: It confuses your team.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know what good really looks like.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it hurts business growth because small problems turn into big ones, right?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure we've all been there.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a business owner, I mean, heck, this is like a life thing, too.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Small problems create big problems in the future.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: A late employee becomes a disengaged team member.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: A missed protocol becomes maybe poor patient outcome.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And they say chiropractic didn't work or whatever your profession is didn't work.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: In a weak system, it becomes chaos.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: So avoidance feels easier in the moment, right?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: But it's expensive long term.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: So back to the book Radical Candor.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's about um care personally, challenge directly.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're talking about we're care, we care about our team members, right?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's our office family.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: We need to challenge them directly.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: But timing matters, your tone matters, and delivery matters.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Radical candor is not calling someone out in front of the others, like at a team meeting or something.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's not sending passive aggressive text messages or emails, and it's not letting things build up and then exploding.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's being direct, it's being respectful, and it's being timely.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I really like the fact that timing matters because I know I, for one, can sometimes let things pass.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, well, last week this and this and this happened, right?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: And does that help in the moment?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because they're like, well, why didn't you tell me last week then?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And like, well, because I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm tired of you messing, making this mistake.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: And like, well, I wish I would have known.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Just tell me.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, how many times have I had that conversation?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: So scripting can sometimes help us, especially if you're the team leader or the owner boss.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it could be something you could write out, even with AI nowadays, it can help you.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: But hey, I want to talk about something because I really value you on a team, and I've noticed that blank.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to make sure we're aligned moving forward.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Can you help me understand what's going on?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like this would be something where I would say, I've understand, I see that you're coming in late a lot.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to make sure that you know we start at seven with patients.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: I need you to get here 6:45, 650 at the latest.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I notice it's after seven.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Can you help me understand what's going on?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is it traffic?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Is it your vehicle?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've noticed it happens like, you know, every day the past month.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Something like that.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And literally, I've had these conversations, and the team member will say, I know, I'm sorry.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'll I'll get better.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And they generally do.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't want to yell at them about it or be so pissed off inside because I let it build up, right?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like that never helps anyone in any situation at work or at home.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's a uh performance issue, like I want to be clear because I care about your success here.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, this isn't meeting the standards we need.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to work better with this.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I want to work with you so we can get it better or get it back to where it needs to be.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not just, you know, complaining about them.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're offering help.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want you here, but this isn't our standards.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: How can I help you get back to our standards?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it could be something as, you know, I just didn't think I was doing that.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I can do it.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I can focus again.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad we had this conversation, but let me know if you need my help.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: What about if it's like a patient or a client conversation where they aren't doing something correctly or they're dropping out of care, they haven't come and they've missed sessions.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I care about your long-term results.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And based on what I'm seeing, stopping now will likely undo progress.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about a plan that keeps you moving forward.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's kind of like us meeting them where they are.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they can't do everything because of time or money, but what can we do to meet them there?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then neither of us gets upset.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: What about if it's like a boundary setting where you might need to say something where I want to make sure we're respecting the structure of the office going forward?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is the expectation.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like what if someone's like bringing in their kids all the time and that isn't allowable?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't know.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just any type of boundary where you start to be friendly with people and sometimes they can walk all over you.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if it's happened to you, but it's definitely happened to me quite a bit.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: So none of these things that I talked about are mean or aggressive, they're just clear to the point, and it's the tone and how you present it.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the last two months you've done XYZ, and I'm really mad about this, Hillary.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, because I you do it in a timely manner, it's calm, it's clear, it's what your expectations.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that I'm just disappointed in you.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And like, and what?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what about it?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: So plan something out, maybe have some short scripts that you use.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you are a manager or a business owner with a manager, maybe you guys talk about scripts for certain situations and you just have them readily available.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself right now, what conversation am I avoiding?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Is it a team member?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is it a system issue, a patient conversation?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then ask, what am I afraid will happen if I say it?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Flip it now.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: What will happen if I don't?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Some things I like kind of say is like, well, what's the worst that could happen, right?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And for us business owners, we're like, well, the worst that could happen is we lose that team member.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And what's the worst thing about that?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Is she the only one in the area that could ever do that position?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Probably not.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know I for certain have said, like, I just don't want to lose so-and-so.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I try to be super nice and give them extra PTO days or let them, you know, habitually come in late.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: But what if I just say no?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what we're gonna do.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and the worst that can happen is they quit, right?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have to find someone else.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe that's a good thing.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you were holding them back and they were holding you back.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like you never know, things happen for a reason, right?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: The universe might be trying to tell you something.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are a service-based business owner and you want help with building a team, systems, and leadership skills like this, I'd love to work with you.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I offer coaching and consulting where we build real structure that way your business can grow without chaos.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: So you can find me at www.hjconsulting.com or on Instagram.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always on there at Hilary Hushower Jones.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: As always, thank you for listening.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Get out there and be a money magnet.