Latest / BBQ Therapy / Mini-cast (4 everyone) - Self-Doubt in bbq and in life
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to the BBQ Therapy minicast, Quick hits, Real Talk
- 0:03and all things BBQ. Whether you're just starting out
- 0:06or been on the pits for years, there's something for you.
- 0:10Lock in and let's get. Better welcome back to another
- 0:13episode of BBQ Therapy, the podcast where smoke, fire and
- 0:16friendship come together to create something bigger than
- 0:19food. I'm your host, Tavis Bryant, and
- 0:22today we're talking about something that every pet master
- 0:24competitor and even every person faces at one time or another.
- 0:29Self doubt. Now, I don't care if you cooking
- 0:32ribs in the backyard, chasing a grand championship trophy, or
- 0:36just keeping life together one day at a time, self doubt shows
- 0:40up. It whispers in your ear when
- 0:43you're trimming A brisket at 3:00 AM or when you see someone
- 0:46else's turn in box and think, man, mine doesn't look half as
- 0:49good as that. Self doubt is sneaky.
- 0:52It creeps in when you care the most, and if you let it in, it
- 0:56can keep you from ever firing up that smoker, from entering that
- 1:00competition, or from putting yourself out there in life.
- 1:05So today I want to dig deep into what self doubt really is, how
- 1:09it shows up in barbecue and beyond, and more importantly,
- 1:12how we can push through it, flip the script and come out stronger
- 1:15on the other side. What is self doubt?
- 1:19You know, when I think about self doubt, I compare it to
- 1:22slicing into a brisket. You put in the hours you managed
- 1:25to fire. You waited and waited.
- 1:27And when the moment of truth comes, you cut into it.
- 1:30And for a split second, there's that fear.
- 1:33Did I nail it or did I just waste 15 hours?
- 1:37That's self doubt. It's that pause, that question
- 1:41mark. And here's the kicker.
- 1:43Self doubt isn't always bad. It just means you care.
- 1:48It means that you want to get it right, but if you let it run
- 1:51wild, it takes over. I remember the first time I
- 1:54thought about doing this podcast, my mind went crazy with
- 1:57doubt. What if I embarrassed myself?
- 1:59What if people don't come on for interviews?
- 2:02What if no one listens? And for a while, those thoughts
- 2:05kept me hesitant. But here's the truth.
- 2:08Every great pitmaster I've talked to, every competitor,
- 2:11every chef, they've all felt it. Even the ones with walls full of
- 2:16trophies. Doubt doesn't disappear when you
- 2:18win. It just shows up in new ways.
- 2:21The trick is learning how to handle it.
- 2:24How self doubt shows up In BBQ Self doubt shows up everywhere.
- 2:29It's staring at your ribs and thinking the color isn't right.
- 2:33It's wondering if your chicken skin is too tough.
- 2:36It's seeing your neighbors smoking and thinking, man, mine
- 2:39looks a lot like a toy compared to that.
- 2:41It's comparing your flavor to someone else's and thinking
- 2:44you'll never measure up. But it's not just in barbecue
- 2:48and life. Self doubt shows up when you
- 2:51apply for that job and think I'm not qualified.
- 2:55It's when you step into a new role, parent, partner, leader,
- 2:59and question if you're good enough.
- 3:01It's imposter syndrome. The funny thing is, we rarely
- 3:05doubt the little things. Nobody doubts whether they could
- 3:08flip a burger right or light a fire.
- 3:11Doubt shows up when the stakes are high, when it matters.
- 3:15And that's because doubt is tied to fear.
- 3:17Fear of failing, fear of being judged, fear of letting someone
- 3:21down. Now I tell you this, if you ever
- 3:24felt self doubt, that means you're human and that means you
- 3:28care and that fire inside you is real.
- 3:31Otherwise you wouldn't worry. The cost of letting doubt run
- 3:34the pit. Now here's the danger.
- 3:36When we let self doubt run the pit, it robs as of opportunity.
- 3:42I think about how many times in my own life when I let doubt
- 3:45win. Times I didn't try because I
- 3:47thought I'd lose. Times I held back because I
- 3:50thought I wasn't ready. In BBQ, maybe it looks like
- 3:54sitting on the sidelines and never enter in the competition.
- 3:58Or maybe you enter and you're so in your head that you don't
- 4:02enjoy it. You're worried about the turn in
- 4:04the score, the comparison, instead of enjoying the cook,
- 4:08the people in the community. And the truth is, sometimes
- 4:11you'll lose. Sometimes the brisket won't turn
- 4:14out. Sometimes the judges won't like
- 4:16your flavor, but if doubt keeps you from even trying, you
- 4:20already lost before the fire even started Flipping the
- 4:23script. Tools to overcome doubt.
- 4:26So how do we handle self doubt? How do we flip the script?
- 4:30Here are four tools that help me and I've seen help others in
- 4:35barbecue and in the life #1 Preparation is confidence.
- 4:40When you practice, when you know how to cook your timeline, When
- 4:43you trim a brisket a dozen times, you lean on that
- 4:47preparation. It's like muscle memory.
- 4:50Preparation calms doubt #2 focus on growth, not perfection.
- 4:55Every cook is a chance to learn. Every bad brisket teaches you
- 4:59something in life too. Mistakes are just lessons in
- 5:02disguise. Positive self talk.
- 5:05When we spend so much time trash talking ourselves, flip it.
- 5:09Instead of saying I can't say I'm learning, instead of saying
- 5:13I'll never be that good, try saying I'm getting better with
- 5:16every cook. Words matter #4 lean on your
- 5:20community. BBQ isn't a solo sport.
- 5:24We had all had someone teach us a trick.
- 5:27Share a rub, lend a hand and then life is the same.
- 5:30Surround yourself with people who build you up.
- 5:33Remember, Remember, no pitmaster ever stands alone.
- 5:37When you put these tools together.
- 5:39Doubt doesn't disappear, but it gets quieter and you get
- 5:42stronger. Stories of overcoming doubt.
- 5:46I think about so many who have shared stories of doubt with me.
- 5:50Champions who was almost quit after a string of bad cooks.
- 5:54Restaurant owners whose wonder if they'd ever make it.
- 5:58Backyard guys who thought they wasn't good enough to even
- 6:01compete until they tried and they found out they belonged.
- 6:05And maybe you got your own story.
- 6:07Maybe you doubted yourself in BBQ or work or family life, but
- 6:12you pushed through. And on the other side you
- 6:14realize that doubt was just smoke, not fire.
- 6:18Once it cleared, you saw that you were capable of.
- 6:22So as we wrap up this episode, here's what I want you to
- 6:25remember. Self doubt is normal.
- 6:27It shows up because you care, but it doesn't get the final say
- 6:32you do. Next time doubt whispers in your
- 6:35ear, I want you to take a picture.
- 6:37I want you to picture a tin in a fire.
- 6:39It takes patience, it takes attention, but with time, that
- 6:43fire burns steady. And here's today's affirmation.
- 6:47Just like tending a fire, overcoming self doubt takes
- 6:51patience and attention. Today I choose to trust the
- 6:53process, believe in my craft, and keep cooking forward.
- 6:58Thanks for spending time with me today on BBQ Therapy.
- 7:01If this episode speaks to you, share it with someone who needs
- 7:04to hear it. And if you got your own story of
- 7:06pushing through doubt, let's talk about it.
- 7:09Tag me, message me, be part of the conversation.
- 7:12And until next time, keep the smoke rolling and the fire
- 7:15burning and remember, you got what it takes.
- 7:19Like follow, subscribe. And help the BBQ therapy
- 7:22community grow. Also visit my website at
- 7:25www.barbecuetherapypodcast.com.