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A Rigid, Sterile Look at Kissing · Stuff You Should Know

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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera.
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Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to Stuff you Should Know
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Speaker 1: from House Stuff Works dot Com. Hey, and welcome to
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Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm Josh Clark, Charles W. Chuck Bryant is
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Speaker 1: across from me out of kissing distance, and uh, I
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Speaker 1: guess that makes this stuff you should know the non
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Speaker 1: kissing edition about kissing, which is every single one of
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Speaker 1: our shows thus far. Body Farms came close. Yeah, you're right,
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Speaker 1: I've urged to make out. Remember I took my shirt off.
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Speaker 1: Oh that's right. Yeah, And you're like, I'm not doing this.
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Speaker 1: Well that quilled that quilled my urge to make out.
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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh really, yes, that's what you want and
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Speaker 1: you're like, no, put it away. Hey, hey man, it's
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Speaker 1: been a big month and we're at the end of it,
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Speaker 1: aren't we. Yes, October October has been nutty on it.
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Speaker 1: We've been on the TV to twice twice. Yeah, remember
1:03
Speaker 1: good Day It like yeah, actually he forgot about. Yes,
1:08
Speaker 1: we were on TV twice, Yes, we were. We went
1:11
Speaker 1: to New York. Did he see didd c to South Caroline? Well,
1:14
Speaker 1: when I us went to South Carolina, more on that later.
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Speaker 1: And um, this is the end, Chuck, this is this
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Speaker 1: is the last work related thing we have to do
1:23
Speaker 1: this month. Do you know what stinks is October is
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Speaker 1: my favorite month and always has been. And I don't
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Speaker 1: feel like I really got to enjoy October this year
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Speaker 1: that much. Yeah. I've had Decembers like that. For me.
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Speaker 1: I loved Christmas time, the holiday season, and um, I've
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Speaker 1: had a December like that and I was like this,
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Speaker 1: someone owes you. Yeah, that's how I feel the universe.
1:41
Speaker 1: Does the universe owes me in October? Although it's not
1:44
Speaker 1: like we were I mean we had a lot of
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Speaker 1: great times in New York and stuff. It's not like
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Speaker 1: it was an awful experience. No, But I know what
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Speaker 1: you mean, Like you have a certain month out of
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Speaker 1: the year that's dedicated to certain things, and if you
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Speaker 1: don't pursue these certain things, then you what's life worth? Exactly?
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Speaker 1: But here we are in November almost and uh, we're
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Speaker 1: getting back to normal, or at least whatever the new
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Speaker 1: normal is. Yeah. So I'm excited. Yeah, me too. You're excited,
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Speaker 1: and we're talking about kissing today. Right. This is a
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Speaker 1: very um hard, clinical look at the science of kissing. Yes, which,
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Speaker 1: by the way, we should say the science a scientific
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Speaker 1: study of kissing is called fillymatology p h I L
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Speaker 1: E M A. So we're fillimatologist for the day. Uh
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Speaker 1: So let me go ahead, Josh, and then just start
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Speaker 1: out clinically saying that anthropologists no one knows for sure
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Speaker 1: why we kiss to begin with. There's some theories though,
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Speaker 1: and one of them anthropologists came up with was that
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Speaker 1: back when we were evolving humans, but we um that
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Speaker 1: mothers would regurgitate or not regurgitate, but they would chew
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Speaker 1: up their food. That's regurgitating. I thought regurgitating was when
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Speaker 1: you literally like threw it up. Okay, you're right, yes, okay,
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Speaker 1: But that mothers would take their new more and they
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Speaker 1: would chew up their food to then place like a
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Speaker 1: bird would into the baby's mouth. And that that evolved
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Speaker 1: even once the kid learned how to eat, into just
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Speaker 1: affectionate caretaking, right and um, it was a way to
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Speaker 1: reassure the kid. It was something that the kid, I imagine,
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Speaker 1: would had come to associate with pleasurable close feelings. Right
3:21
Speaker 1: that spitting food into your mouth, well exactly, but that's
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Speaker 1: the learned behavior idea, right, and it's the big, one,
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Speaker 1: big flaw with it there is and it is are
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Speaker 1: you setting me up? I'm like, you're pointing at Yeah.
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Speaker 1: The problem with that is there are some cultures, um,
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Speaker 1: indigenous cultures today that still do that with their food
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Speaker 1: and um, some of them do not kiss until Westerners
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Speaker 1: came along and they were like, you should try kissing.
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Speaker 1: It's rad right, And the people kissed and they went,
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Speaker 1: this is rad right, and that was that. But since
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Speaker 1: not all of them do that, then that's not proof.
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Speaker 1: But it kind of lends itself to saying, maybe it's
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Speaker 1: not a learned behavior. Um. I had a like, this
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Speaker 1: makes sense to me, But I also it makes me wonder, um,
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Speaker 1: if behavior evolves, right, Um, isn't it possible that that
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Speaker 1: doesn't always evolve over the same timeline and all cultures
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Speaker 1: in all locations. Well, that's what I thought. It didn't
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Speaker 1: necessarily prove something, but it is a big it's a
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Speaker 1: big flaw that people can just like pick apart like
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Speaker 1: so many scats. What about the other side of the coin. Now,
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Speaker 1: the other side of the coin is that it's instinctive
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Speaker 1: and there's a lot of evidence that um, kissing is instinctive.
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Speaker 1: Elsewhere in the animal kingdom, Um, you see like tigers nuzzling.
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Speaker 1: It is um apparently snails rob antennae, which is super cute.
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Speaker 1: Have we ever seen it? Uh? Yes, I have, like
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Speaker 1: the slow motion I think Discovery actually had some of that.
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Speaker 1: Uh it's it's actually rather or maybe it was that
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Speaker 1: movie Microcosm, but it looks really lurid. When you see
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Speaker 1: two snails combining themselves. Ye, up close, it's like, oh
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Speaker 1: my god, this is clinical and sterile. Look at things.
5:05
Speaker 1: I think birds touched beaks. Yeah, and it's it's all
5:09
Speaker 1: over the animal kingdom. In a lot of cases, what
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Speaker 1: you're seeing is a like smell, their scent glands located
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Speaker 1: in the face of some animals in that area. Yeah.
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Speaker 1: So when you see two tigers, knows only they're like
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Speaker 1: smelling one another's pheromones or some scent. That's pleasurable. But
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Speaker 1: the point is is while they may not be kissing
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Speaker 1: as we know it, they're still engaged in pretty much
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Speaker 1: the same behavior that establishes bonds, that reinforces trust, and
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Speaker 1: that shows that you are close to that that other animal,
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Speaker 1: that mate, or that kin folk. Yeah, didn't you have
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Speaker 1: something on the bona bow Apes. Yes, I thought you
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Speaker 1: were telling me something about that earlier. I wasn't you weren't. No,
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Speaker 1: you haven't me confused with someone else. Well, these things
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Speaker 1: kissed like crazy. They do, and they kiss regardless of sex,
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Speaker 1: regardless of status in the in the pack? Is it
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Speaker 1: a pack of apes? The family, the tribe? I think
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Speaker 1: it's a family, So I mean, trust me, we're gonna
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Speaker 1: get email on this one. They kiss all the time,
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Speaker 1: though they do it to reduce tension after a fight, Uh,
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Speaker 1: to reassure each other, um the social bonds and for
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Speaker 1: no reason at all, you know, the reduced tension after
6:26
Speaker 1: a fight. Do you know who? That reminded me of?
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Speaker 1: Ronny and Donny Galleon? Remember they kiss and makeup after
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Speaker 1: a fight, the world's oldest can joined twins. Yeah, very
6:35
Speaker 1: sweet story. They're still with us, aren't they as far
6:38
Speaker 1: as I know? Oh goodness, Chuck. Their birthday just happened.
6:41
Speaker 1: They'd be fifty eight now, that's right. Yeah, we need
6:44
Speaker 1: to check in on them, not that they know who
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Speaker 1: we are. We're just the creepy guy who followed them
6:49
Speaker 1: home from school, all right. So there's there's um arguments
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Speaker 1: for and against we should say. Part of the problem
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Speaker 1: with um with saying that kissing is instinctive, it's it's
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Speaker 1: very difficult to prove um and the fact that about
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Speaker 1: of all cultures across the world kiss, So if it's instinctive,
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Speaker 1: what's up with the other ten percent? Well, they I
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Speaker 1: think they found some cultures in Asia and where else?
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Speaker 1: South America? South America, but um, I think Africa, right,
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Speaker 1: And they said that while it's it's not completely conclusive
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Speaker 1: that they do not kiss, some of them may not
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Speaker 1: think it's appropriate to like share that with the white
7:31
Speaker 1: dude that got off the plane that's asking them about it, right,
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Speaker 1: you know, So maybe they don't kiss and tell. But generally,
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Speaker 1: I mean everywhere I'll look, said, of all cultures kiss,
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Speaker 1: So that's where we're gonna go with. Yeah, and in
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Speaker 1: a kissy face culture, which is most of them, as
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Speaker 1: we've seen. Um I found Chuck that people spend as
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Speaker 1: much as two weeks out of their lives kissing, which
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Speaker 1: you want to hear something depressing. That's about as much
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Speaker 1: time as we spend waiting for red lights in our lifetime.
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Speaker 1: I wonder how much time is been kissing at red lights.
8:01
Speaker 1: I don't know it's a great question. I was wondering
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Speaker 1: how much more we would kiss if we spent less
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Speaker 1: time at red lights. Yeah, like if maybe it would
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Speaker 1: be like three weeks in one week or something like that.
8:10
Speaker 1: It's a good point. So there are people, as we said, uh,
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Speaker 1: philematologists who study the science of kissing, of kissy faces
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Speaker 1: nous uh. And one of those groups is the Kinsey Institute,
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Speaker 1: named after the famous sex researcher Alfred Kinsey. And they've
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Speaker 1: basically found that there are three factors that contribute to
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Speaker 1: the experience of a kiss, right, yes, and they are biological, psychological,
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Speaker 1: and social. Yeah, psychological, Um, there's a couple of factors
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Speaker 1: within that sub factors. Um. It depends on how you're
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Speaker 1: feeling at the time and how you feel about the
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Speaker 1: person of how it's going to affect you. Obviously you've
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Speaker 1: heard the expression like kissing your sister. That's if you're
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Speaker 1: being kissed by someone you don't want to be kissed by,
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Speaker 1: you're gonna have a completely different reaction slee than when
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Speaker 1: you're being kissed by someone you really want to kiss.
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Speaker 1: And your emotional state at the time you're being kissed
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Speaker 1: has a lot to do with it as well. Right,
9:08
Speaker 1: there's a lot of um physiological processes that your body
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Speaker 1: undergoes when you're kissing or being kissed. We'll talk about those,
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Speaker 1: uh in um a little greater detail in a second.
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Speaker 1: And then there's social factors like how your society views kissing,
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Speaker 1: like is your first kiss going to be this magical
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Speaker 1: experience in society? Who probably going to be looking forward
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Speaker 1: to it so much pressure? Right? Is kissing extremely romantic?
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Speaker 1: Or is it kind of middle of the road? Um?
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Speaker 1: Is it taboo? All of these things are going to
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Speaker 1: have an effect on the psychological impact as well. So
9:41
Speaker 1: there's sociology, biology, and psychology living in harmony on the
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Speaker 1: lips of all humans. Yes, and we should we should
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Speaker 1: point out that, um, that's not just for lovey dovey kissing.
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Speaker 1: That's actually for all kinds of kissing. So like when
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Speaker 1: a mommy kisses your booboo, those three factors are still
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Speaker 1: taking place, obviously, just in a non romantic nature, right,
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Speaker 1: different different contexts, different sensations, but still there's three different
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Speaker 1: aspects to all kisses, of what you're saying, no matter
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Speaker 1: what kind of kiss and they all all kisses amount
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Speaker 1: to something positive. They're all meant to reinforce some sort
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Speaker 1: of positive feeling, right, like love, reassurance right, or reassurement,
10:27
Speaker 1: reassurement or romantic budding sexuality, all those things. Right that
10:32
Speaker 1: when you place the word budding at the beginning of sexuality,
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Speaker 1: it just makes it so much more awkward. Right, isn't
10:40
Speaker 1: that weird budding sexual It's it's weird, well, because it
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Speaker 1: implies everything that it is, which is youth. I don't
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Speaker 1: even know what's going on. It's budding, That's what I
10:51
Speaker 1: think at least. Um, I guess, Chuck, we've reached the
10:55
Speaker 1: point that we should talk about when people started kissing,
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Speaker 1: and um, we should say historians, anthropologists, psychologists. No one
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Speaker 1: has any idea exactly when people started kissing because we
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Speaker 1: can't even say whether it's instinctive or learned. Right, But
11:13
Speaker 1: the earliest accounts that we have of kissing come about
11:16
Speaker 1: thirty years ago. Uh, and it's described. It's not that
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Speaker 1: word isn't used obviously, um. But what people are taking
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Speaker 1: as a description of kissing appears in these ancient Vedic
11:29
Speaker 1: texts out of India Sanskrit, Yes, I think they're in Sanskrit.
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Speaker 1: They called it sucking face back then it's involved into kissing. Uh.
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Speaker 1: After that it started becoming a little more prevate, prevalent
11:43
Speaker 1: in art, in literature, that kind of thing, like in
11:46
Speaker 1: a little text that might sound familiar with the Vatsi
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Speaker 1: Ya Yana Kama Sutrum uh a k A the Kama
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Speaker 1: Sutra a k A Penthouse letters. Yeah. Do you find
12:00
Speaker 1: it funny that the book on sexual positions was written
12:07
Speaker 1: three thousand years ago or more, um, sixth century a D.
12:13
Speaker 1: What I find funny is that no one's really improved
12:16
Speaker 1: upon this. You know, Tome, you pretty much wrote the
12:20
Speaker 1: definitive book on sexual positions and sexuality. I just find
12:24
Speaker 1: it interesting. But they also cover kisses, all kinds of
12:27
Speaker 1: kisses in the Kamma Sutra, And that was a long
12:29
Speaker 1: long time ago. Right, It was written standardized in the
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Speaker 1: sixth century a D. But it had been passed down
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Speaker 1: orally for centuries before that, right, Yes, And um, so
12:39
Speaker 1: they think that probably, yeah, kissing. They they're not saying
12:43
Speaker 1: it originated in India, but this is where the earliest
12:46
Speaker 1: accounts are. So kissing originated in India. Well, and they
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Speaker 1: think that the anthropologists think it's a learned behavior, think
12:53
Speaker 1: that Alexander the Great learned about it in India when
12:56
Speaker 1: he invaded and was like, this is awesome, let me
12:59
Speaker 1: go take this back to Greece, and that he did.
13:06
Speaker 1: You know, I remember hearing a long time ago that
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Speaker 1: um kissing. I don't know where I used to get
13:11
Speaker 1: these facts. I think it was the same place where
13:13
Speaker 1: I heard that Um Genghis Khan killed one point eight
13:16
Speaker 1: million people in an hour. But they said that kissing
13:20
Speaker 1: uh was located only in the Mediterranean up until five
13:24
Speaker 1: years ago, and that it is a a symbol of
13:28
Speaker 1: our urge to cannibalize one another. Not true. I don't
13:33
Speaker 1: think that's true at all. I don't either. So we're
13:35
Speaker 1: in the Roman Empire now, and they kissed a lot.
13:38
Speaker 1: They kissed as greetings, they kissed their rulers hands sign
13:42
Speaker 1: of respect. It was out of respect. And they came
13:45
Speaker 1: up with the three categorizations of kiss I know, Um,
13:51
Speaker 1: the Romans really like to categorize things different types of love. Um,
13:56
Speaker 1: this one is there's osculum, which is a kiss on
13:59
Speaker 1: the cheek. There is besium, which is a kiss on
14:02
Speaker 1: the lips. And then they're seeking guess this one cevolium. Yeah, yeah,
14:08
Speaker 1: like that's that kind of kiss. Yeah, that's a deep kiss,
14:13
Speaker 1: and it doesn't necessarily say anything about the French variety,
14:17
Speaker 1: but um, I think that's just sort of implied, right,
14:19
Speaker 1: And historians also suspect that UM, a lot of the
14:22
Speaker 1: kissing traditions we still hold today in the modern era. Um,
14:27
Speaker 1: we're founded originated in um rome, right, Like, there's a
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Speaker 1: kissing to seal a wedding, to end a wedding ceremony,
14:38
Speaker 1: you may now kiss the bride apparently if you've made
14:41
Speaker 1: out in front of a bunch of people, like you
14:43
Speaker 1: were married room, Like I know, yeah, do you know
14:48
Speaker 1: how many people would be married today? Lots of people,
14:50
Speaker 1: a lot and divorced and married and divorced. And also,
14:55
Speaker 1: since you said the sealed thing the sealed with a kiss,
14:58
Speaker 1: we generally think of like a love letters seal with
15:00
Speaker 1: the kiss. But back then they used to seal legal
15:02
Speaker 1: documents with kisses, which is a little weird to me. Well,
15:07
Speaker 1: it kind of points out it was weird to me too,
15:09
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, Um, it points out how seriously people took
15:13
Speaker 1: kissing back then it was relatively new, and like this
15:18
Speaker 1: is a big new thing, or if if I should
15:21
Speaker 1: say the learned behavior proponents are correct. It was relatively new,
15:25
Speaker 1: and they're like, this is very important, it's very sacred um.
15:28
Speaker 1: And speaking of sacred it um played a big role
15:32
Speaker 1: in the uh, the Catholic Church, there was this thing
15:36
Speaker 1: called the Holy kiss, right, yeah, the awesome um passes
15:40
Speaker 1: and uh they kissed the Holy kiss. Basically they thought
15:43
Speaker 1: you were transferring your spirit, well, the Holy Spirit, the
15:46
Speaker 1: spirit of Christianity. Well, when I say the spirit, your spirit,
15:50
Speaker 1: he said, yeah, no, the big one, okay, the Trinity,
15:54
Speaker 1: the Dove, and uh they unfortunately, the Protestant Reformation killed
16:01
Speaker 1: like everything else that was fun killed the Holy kiss
16:04
Speaker 1: as well. Well, not just that it's um. It also
16:06
Speaker 1: gave rise to articles like this because in fact, writing
16:09
Speaker 1: a very sterile scientific article I'm kissing is a very
16:14
Speaker 1: very Protestant thing to do. It's a very Protestant activity
16:17
Speaker 1: to engage in. Ye, you're right, and I never thought
16:19
Speaker 1: about that, but yeah, it went from like they the Christians,
16:22
Speaker 1: the early Catholics kissed one another mass that was the
16:25
Speaker 1: holy kiss um, and then the in the thirteenth century
16:28
Speaker 1: the church was like, no, kiss this board instead, and
16:31
Speaker 1: they call it a pack s board or sport. So
16:33
Speaker 1: everybody kissed that, and then the Protestants came along and
16:35
Speaker 1: they're like, no kissing. Everybody just stare forward, not even
16:39
Speaker 1: the packs board, no pack sport. Really, there's no more kissing.
16:42
Speaker 1: And then in Catholicism it finally just basically went to
16:46
Speaker 1: the Pope's ring. That's what's kissed now, is the Pope's ring.
16:50
Speaker 1: You know. I went to a church conference when I
16:52
Speaker 1: was a teenager and they were playing music and it
16:57
Speaker 1: was a big thing along type of thing, and they
16:59
Speaker 1: said something about out. One of the guys says, you know,
17:01
Speaker 1: don't stomp your feet to rhythmically because that's a little
17:04
Speaker 1: too close to dancing. I remember that distinctly. Made it
17:08
Speaker 1: a big impression on me. It was like foot loose, yeah,
17:13
Speaker 1: and you were vow No, I started dancing. I started
17:18
Speaker 1: Breakdancing's val oh name. Yeah, my buddy's working on that
17:25
Speaker 1: remake right now with Zac Efron. No, he's not in it.
17:29
Speaker 1: I'm just supposed to. He was first tapped to play it. No,
17:31
Speaker 1: it's a bunch of unknowns and Dennis Quaid, Okay, he's
17:37
Speaker 1: the preacher. Uh So let's talk about a little more
17:40
Speaker 1: non fun sterile things like the orbicularis or us. Let's
17:47
Speaker 1: see that the orbicularious hours. Well, yeah, there's certain muscles
17:51
Speaker 1: that you use when you kiss, and in a very standard,
17:55
Speaker 1: no frills kiss, the puckered kiss. That's the obiculary us
18:00
Speaker 1: orris at work, that facial muscle. But a few people
18:04
Speaker 1: kiss like that, they did, we would not reproduce right. Um,
18:11
Speaker 1: So there's a bunch of other muscles involved. Um, one
18:14
Speaker 1: of which, well several of which actually tilt your head
18:17
Speaker 1: to the side, because apparently about three two thirds of
18:19
Speaker 1: people who kiss, so two thirds of humans who kiss
18:24
Speaker 1: tilt their head to the side, to the right, to
18:26
Speaker 1: the rights. Yeah, and apparently we develop a preference for
18:30
Speaker 1: this in utero. Isn't that weird? Yeah, but and it
18:34
Speaker 1: seems so natural to me. I just tilted my head
18:36
Speaker 1: to the left, and I can't imagine going to kiss
18:39
Speaker 1: my wife and tilting my head to the left. Well,
18:41
Speaker 1: one of the problems is, since everybody's tilting to the right,
18:44
Speaker 1: if you tilted your head to the left, you'd go
18:46
Speaker 1: in well at the same angle too. That's so awkward.
18:49
Speaker 1: It is awkward. Like the teeth knock. That's when you
18:52
Speaker 1: know things aren't gonna work out with the teeth knock. Yeah,
18:55
Speaker 1: if that if that's happening early on, I think it
18:57
Speaker 1: depends on the reaction. Well, you can laugh at off
19:00
Speaker 1: and stuff, that's huge, but you should also kind of
19:02
Speaker 1: sort of have that chemistry. I think innately, a teeth
19:06
Speaker 1: knock is not a deal breaker. Wow, you're I'm pretty tough.
19:11
Speaker 1: That's why I didn't date much. That's funny. I was
19:13
Speaker 1: turning left and knocking teeth. They're like, look, Leslie, I'm
19:16
Speaker 1: I'm very sorry. Like you're a very nice girl, and um,
19:19
Speaker 1: I like your parents a lot. But um, your teeth
19:23
Speaker 1: brushed against mine in one of our early kisses. They
19:26
Speaker 1: just can't go anything. That's why I got married at
19:29
Speaker 1: like thirty six. No teeth knocking. No teeth knocking. Kid. Uh,
19:34
Speaker 1: do you want to cover those muscles? It's a lot
19:36
Speaker 1: of boring names. No, but I'll talk about what they
19:41
Speaker 1: what they do. Like them. There's other other muscles move
19:45
Speaker 1: the lips around, so instead of just puckering, you can
19:47
Speaker 1: be like one right, right, I just use several muscles,
19:53
Speaker 1: muscle groups. Um. There's also ones that um pull the
19:57
Speaker 1: corner of your mouth down and and lower your lower lip. Right.
20:02
Speaker 1: The depressor angli oris apparently, if you hear the word
20:06
Speaker 1: oris in reference to a muscle, it's a facial muscle
20:09
Speaker 1: that is involved in kissing right, right. And then importantly,
20:13
Speaker 1: I would say the genial glasses, stylo glosses, palatea glosses,
20:18
Speaker 1: and higho glosses, all those muscles operate your tongue. If
20:24
Speaker 1: if as Tracy Wilson, who wrote this article puts it,
20:28
Speaker 1: if you decide to use it, right, if you're from
20:31
Speaker 1: France and that's how you kiss, those four muscles are
20:35
Speaker 1: are going to control your tongue. I was kind of
20:37
Speaker 1: surprised at first it was those four muscles. But when
20:39
Speaker 1: you look at the tongue, it's extremely malleable, and there's
20:42
Speaker 1: all sorts of like you know, you can make You
20:44
Speaker 1: can roll your tongue and make clovers out of your tongue,
20:47
Speaker 1: and it's very specific, control, controllable, a piece of your body.
20:53
Speaker 1: Digit Is it a digit? I guess have you ever
20:54
Speaker 1: seen a tongue outside of the mouth? Um? What do
20:58
Speaker 1: you mean? Like a surgical removed tongue, not a human one? Gross? Yeah?
21:04
Speaker 1: I saw one at the Atomic Bomb Memorial Museum in Hiroshima.
21:09
Speaker 1: The guy whose tongue was taken out. It turned like
21:11
Speaker 1: black because he was exposed to radio activity. And I
21:14
Speaker 1: can't I've seen two. This was one of two tongues
21:18
Speaker 1: that I've seen completely removed, but there's like the soft
21:20
Speaker 1: palates attached. It like spreads out and back. It's really
21:23
Speaker 1: interesting looking crazy. Yeah, you don't want to see a
21:26
Speaker 1: tongue outside of the both well, especially when that's you know,
21:29
Speaker 1: was bombed, right, I'm sure that didn't help. Uh So
21:33
Speaker 1: obviously Josh too, what happens when you kisses you You
21:36
Speaker 1: like everything with the brain, you have to have them
21:38
Speaker 1: the nerves from your face sending messages to your brain
21:43
Speaker 1: telling your brain what's going on, and that stimulates a
21:46
Speaker 1: lot of things like dopamine and serotonin. Oxytocin is becoming
21:50
Speaker 1: an increasingly Yeah, that's a big one important neurotransmitters. The
21:53
Speaker 1: deal there, Well, it creates some feelings of affection, attachment, loyalty. Um,
21:58
Speaker 1: it's uh. They they think that love in a lot
22:01
Speaker 1: of ways, especially intense early romantic love, resembles addiction. So
22:06
Speaker 1: there's there's a lot of dopamine that gets released when
22:08
Speaker 1: you see the person that you're attracted to. But then
22:11
Speaker 1: over time, um, it can it turns into long lasting
22:15
Speaker 1: companionship love that's toxic toacin at work. And it's also
22:21
Speaker 1: very big in milk production as well, so it um
22:25
Speaker 1: so it that's very strange that I would have done that,
22:29
Speaker 1: but um it's it's present. It forces milk production. It's
22:33
Speaker 1: also transferred from mother to child through breastfeeding, so it
22:37
Speaker 1: promotes feelings of attachment through that as well. How about
22:40
Speaker 1: that adrenaline, our old buddy with the flight, fight or
22:44
Speaker 1: flight that we haven't talked about in a while, and uh,
22:48
Speaker 1: all sorts of natural endorphins make that euphoric feeling come alive.
22:52
Speaker 1: And not only that, it actually increases your heart rate
22:56
Speaker 1: and your your blood starts pumping more and you're getting
22:59
Speaker 1: more oxygen to your body just from kissing. Even if
23:02
Speaker 1: you're you know, let's say, lying down, you know, lying down,
23:08
Speaker 1: if you're in a prone position, let's say, and you're
23:10
Speaker 1: kissing somebody, your heart rate is still get increases if
23:12
Speaker 1: you were like exercising, right, I think you're prepping for
23:15
Speaker 1: physical activity relations. I think so, thank you. Should we
23:21
Speaker 1: mention the one study and I know we looked at
23:23
Speaker 1: this when we did the webcast about the smell. Yeah,
23:27
Speaker 1: This fascinates me. I have I want to believe it's
23:30
Speaker 1: correct because it's just so it's elegantly simple. Yeah, but UM,
23:37
Speaker 1: but I think you should take it. This is this
23:38
Speaker 1: is yours, well, it's I think it's. The situation is, um,
23:43
Speaker 1: you can reproduce, you can reproduce with somebody who has
23:49
Speaker 1: a different immune system. If you reproduce someone with different
23:51
Speaker 1: immune qualities that you have, you will produce a more robust,
23:55
Speaker 1: healthier child, right because your kid's gonna have your immunities
24:00
Speaker 1: in your husband's immunities or reproductive partners immunities combined, and
24:06
Speaker 1: apparently can sniff this out supposedly. Here's the big problem
24:10
Speaker 1: with that, Like, what you're talking about and what this
24:13
Speaker 1: theory is based on is pheromones. And from what I understand,
24:16
Speaker 1: we've been shown to have an organ that at one
24:19
Speaker 1: time was capable of detecting pheromones, but that most humans,
24:22
Speaker 1: not all humans, most humans aren't capable of using this
24:26
Speaker 1: this naso pharynxul organ any longer. We'll just call it
24:30
Speaker 1: the appendix. Okay, that's actually supposedly where um, I think
24:35
Speaker 1: some sort of anybodies go to basically hide out and
24:40
Speaker 1: UM generate back up and then go back and fight
24:44
Speaker 1: infections and cancer and things. Again, I knew they were
24:46
Speaker 1: kind of thought they had figured out the appendix. You
24:50
Speaker 1: don't just go removing organs willy nilly just because we
24:53
Speaker 1: don't realize what they're for. You know, it's like knocking
24:56
Speaker 1: Pluto off the list of planets exactly. So were you
24:59
Speaker 1: done with your smell thing there? Though, I'm done. Okay,
25:01
Speaker 1: it was yours and I hijacked. I apologize for that, chuck.
25:04
Speaker 1: That's all right. Um, there's been some recent studies in
25:06
Speaker 1: the past year that just I'll throw out a couple
25:09
Speaker 1: of stats from the University of Albany said that of
25:13
Speaker 1: men and sixty six percent of women report that after
25:17
Speaker 1: feeling attracted initially to someone, that the attraction ended after
25:21
Speaker 1: the first kiss. Sixty of women. That's but that's weird.
25:26
Speaker 1: Think about the I'm telling you know, but it's like
25:30
Speaker 1: the immune protein idea, Like maybe these people had similar
25:33
Speaker 1: immune proteins and they found that in the kiss, and
25:35
Speaker 1: we're like, yeah, man, I'm looking for a more robust,
25:38
Speaker 1: less weekly child. Right. Yeah, that's a good point. Uh.
25:43
Speaker 1: And the same guy who did the uh, professor at
25:46
Speaker 1: Albany that did that study said that he also thinks
25:49
Speaker 1: that because saliva has testosterone, the fact that men prefer
25:53
Speaker 1: like sloppy kissing and conceivably a more wet, uh saliva
25:59
Speaker 1: ridden kiss means that they are trying to transfer testosterone
26:03
Speaker 1: into the woman's mouth to trigger a sex drive. I
26:07
Speaker 1: don't like an awful lot of conjecture. It's an awful
26:11
Speaker 1: lot of conjecture. And another recent study in England, and
26:14
Speaker 1: this was like today, I read this that apparently heterosexual
26:19
Speaker 1: males in England don't mind kissing. Yeah, apparently it has
26:25
Speaker 1: to do with their football culture, right. Yeah. They said
26:27
Speaker 1: they interviewed a hundred and forty five college and high
26:29
Speaker 1: school students, all of them straight as an arrow, and
26:33
Speaker 1: that they scent they had engaged in sustained kissing with
26:37
Speaker 1: another dude and didn't think it was a big deal.
26:40
Speaker 1: And of athletes said they kissed another man compared to
26:44
Speaker 1: eight percent of non athletes. So they theorize it starts
26:47
Speaker 1: on the old soccer pitch. That's Gordon Ramsay's impact. So hey,
26:53
Speaker 1: are you swinging Brits out there? Good? Any and Chuck.
26:59
Speaker 1: I think that we should remain faithful to this article
27:05
Speaker 1: and end this podcast, I'm kissing with. Some of the
27:09
Speaker 1: diseases you can catch from kissing, go ahead. There's of
27:14
Speaker 1: course mono nucleosis, the kissing disease mono. I've never had mono.
27:18
Speaker 1: I have not either. That's drywall. I don't know if
27:22
Speaker 1: that counts. Maybe we hit a stud. Uh. There's Herpes
27:26
Speaker 1: simplex one a k A. Cold sores um meningitis, which
27:31
Speaker 1: is nasty stuff, but apparently you can, uh, there's an
27:35
Speaker 1: outside chance you can catch it kissing. H They think
27:37
Speaker 1: that some of the bacteria that causes gastric ulcers can
27:41
Speaker 1: be transferred from person to person via saliva and kissing.
27:45
Speaker 1: And there is apparently one case recognized by the Centers
27:51
Speaker 1: for Disease Control and Prevention here in Atlanta g a USA.
27:56
Speaker 1: UM that one case of HIV has been reported that's
28:02
Speaker 1: been transmitted through kissing. Wow, that's a downer. That's how
28:08
Speaker 1: kissing works. Well, that means there's like some two open
28:12
Speaker 1: sores at the same time in the mouth, right, I mean,
28:16
Speaker 1: I guess HIV and AIDS first, Like really kind of
28:20
Speaker 1: hit the public psyche. It was like can we sit
28:23
Speaker 1: on toilets? We all just like shoot ourselves now, Like,
28:26
Speaker 1: what are we gonna do, and kissing was a big one.
28:29
Speaker 1: And then as as time went on, I remember somebody saying, like, um,
28:32
Speaker 1: like the the stat was, you'd have to like transfer
28:35
Speaker 1: a gallon of saliva to have a good chance of
28:39
Speaker 1: of um, kissing HIV or contracting HIV from somebody through kissing.
28:44
Speaker 1: But I'm sure, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure that
28:47
Speaker 1: that it was through like from sore to sore something
28:51
Speaker 1: horrible like that, through kissing, like I mean one case,
28:54
Speaker 1: you know, all right, I'm just thinking about source kissing.
29:00
Speaker 1: And yeah, So if you want to um read an
29:03
Speaker 1: article read more about kissing, and possibly decided to never
29:07
Speaker 1: kiss again after reading it, you can type in kissing
29:10
Speaker 1: in the swing and search bar at how stuff works
29:13
Speaker 1: dot com from Omas to the British. And since I
29:17
Speaker 1: said that the British, that means it's time for a
29:20
Speaker 1: listener me. All right, are they coming? They've already been here. Uh,
29:27
Speaker 1: this is from Sarah and it's about jealousy and like
29:30
Speaker 1: you predicted, Josh, We've had a lot of people right
29:31
Speaker 1: in and said I agree with Josh, and a lot
29:33
Speaker 1: of people said, I agree with Chuck. It's healthy. It
29:36
Speaker 1: is so with that in mind, Sarah has to say
29:41
Speaker 1: this us I have to agree with the notion that
29:44
Speaker 1: small amount of jealousy is not only normal but healthy.
29:47
Speaker 1: So she's in the joshin. I'm not talking about telling
29:51
Speaker 1: your significant other that they can't go here, can't go
29:53
Speaker 1: talk to that person based on jealousy and calling that
29:56
Speaker 1: showing your love. I'm talking about having a twinge in
29:59
Speaker 1: your gut when you see your here something that is
30:01
Speaker 1: generally a threat. If you don't have any fear about
30:04
Speaker 1: your partner ditching you, does that suggest that you don't
30:07
Speaker 1: care if your partner leaves you, I see now? Or
30:09
Speaker 1: does that mean you're not realistic? Maybe? Uh so, say
30:14
Speaker 1: there's a bad day when you were a putts and
30:17
Speaker 1: that handsome guy at the farmer's market smiles a little
30:19
Speaker 1: too big at your wife and you see her in
30:22
Speaker 1: fact that makes her feel pretty. If that doesn't affect
30:24
Speaker 1: you at all, doesn't cause a little something in your gut,
30:27
Speaker 1: then does that also mean that you'll miss the opportunity
30:30
Speaker 1: to think, hey, maybe I should do a little something
30:32
Speaker 1: to make your feel pretty? This is a great point.
30:34
Speaker 1: Is this is an excellent point, And if you do
30:36
Speaker 1: keep missing those opportunities, maybe you'll end up taking things
30:39
Speaker 1: for granted. I've expressed uh and appreciated very small showings
30:43
Speaker 1: of jealousy. Husband doesn't want to dance at work party,
30:47
Speaker 1: so I say fine and I dance without him. He
30:49
Speaker 1: sees a good looking guy come to dance near me,
30:51
Speaker 1: and he suddenly feels like dancing with his wife. That
30:55
Speaker 1: is a okay with me. Or when let's say my
30:57
Speaker 1: husband has a grocery store girlfriend, the cute checker who
31:00
Speaker 1: smiles at him especially, I have playfully shown a little
31:03
Speaker 1: more PDA than usual when this happens, and I know
31:06
Speaker 1: he gets a kick out of that. So, Sarah, I'm
31:08
Speaker 1: down with that. I just don't call that jealousy. That's jealousy.
31:14
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think jealousy is a palpable
31:17
Speaker 1: fear of losing somebody, and I don't I think that
31:21
Speaker 1: there's just that these are different degrees. That that degree
31:25
Speaker 1: is where I draw the line. And I don't call
31:27
Speaker 1: this jealousy. I just call it playful married shenanigans. Everyone,
31:32
Speaker 1: I would like to announce something, Um, Mr Charles W.
31:36
Speaker 1: Chuck Bryant is now a convert to jealousy in a relationship.
31:45
Speaker 1: There you go, thank you, Chuck, and that was very
31:47
Speaker 1: nice of you to select that letter rather than rather
31:50
Speaker 1: than one that was like Josh is wrong and here's
31:52
Speaker 1: why that's coming up on the next one. Just kidding.
31:56
Speaker 1: Thanks a lot, Sarah, appreciate the email. It was very
31:58
Speaker 1: thoughtful and well informed. Uh, if you want to send
32:01
Speaker 1: Chuck in me an email that's thoughtful and well informed
32:05
Speaker 1: about say your first kiss, wrap it up. Send it
32:09
Speaker 1: to Stuff podcast at how stuff works dot com for
32:22
Speaker 1: more on this and thousands of other topics. Does it
32:25
Speaker 1: how stuff works dot com. The how stuff Works dot
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