Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / What You Ain't Changing, You're Choosing — Winning Wednesday with Coach C

Transcript

What You Ain't Changing, You're Choosing — Winning Wednesday with Coach C · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Hey, Real Talkers, it's Coach C in your ear on this winning Wednesday,
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  and today I'm coming with an oldie but a goodie.
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  Something you've probably heard before, but I need you to hear it differently today.
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  Guess what? What you ain't changing, you're choosing.
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  Yup, I said it, and I already know
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  some of y'all don't like this kind of talking, because change is hard.
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  Change is uncomfortable.
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  Change requires decisions, discipline, determination, and sometimes downright disruption.
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  But real talkers, we cannot keep talking about wanting something different while
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  refusing to do anything differently.
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  And there is that. Now, before somebody gets upset, let me explain what Coach C means.
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  Because this Winning Wednesday isn't about pointing fingers.
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  It's about pointing ourselves in the right direction.
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  And sometimes that starts with looking in the mirror and asking ourselves a
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  question we might not like the answer to.
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  Am I really stuck or have I become comfortable with what I'm complaining about?
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  Who gonna check me, boo? I'll wait. Because listen, I'm including myself in
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  this conversation because nobody graduates from the responsibility of examining their own choices.
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  Awareness before action.
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  Real talkers, here's how we start winning.
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  We acknowledge, we become aware, and then we take action.
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  Because you cannot change what you refuse to acknowledge.
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  You cannot keep saying you want peace while entertaining every argument.
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  You can't keep saying you want progress while practicing procrastination.
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  You can't keep saying you want better relationships while refusing to have better conversations.
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  And you cannot keep asking for different results while making the same decisions.
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  At some point, your actions have to agree with your aspirations. Now that's real talk.
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  And don't confuse acknowledging something with actually addressing it because
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  knowing better is important.
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  But what are we doing with what we know?
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  Awareness without application will leave you standing in the same place with
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  a whole lot of information.
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  And real talkers, information alone doesn't create transformation.
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  But Coach C, what about what I can't change?
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  Now hold on, because I already hear somebody saying, Coach C,
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  I can't change everything.
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  And you know what? You are absolutely right.
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  You cannot simply choose away a disease. You cannot wish away a disability.
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  You cannot always change a disorder.
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  And you certainly cannot control every difficult dynamic you encounter.
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  Some circumstances are beyond our control and some situations limit the choices available to us.
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  So hear me clearly, everything you experience is not something you chose and
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  I refuse to make somebody feel responsible for circumstances they didn't create and cannot control.
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  But real talkers, where choices are available, we can examine how we respond,
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  what support we seek, what boundaries we establish,
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  and how we navigate what's in front of us.
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  Sometimes change isn't about changing the circumstance.
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  Sometimes change is about changing your approach to the circumstance.
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  You may not be able to change the diagnosis, but perhaps you can change how
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  you seek support and manage your care.
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  You may not be able to change somebody else's behavior, but you can examine
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  the boundaries available to you.
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  You may not be able to change what happened yesterday, but you can decide what
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  lessons you're taking into tomorrow.
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  And sometimes, real talkers, winning means recognizing that you need help navigating
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  what you cannot handle alone.
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  You don't have to control everything to take ownership of what is within your control.
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  That's the difference, the cost of not changing.
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  Now let me ask y'all something. Have you ever considered that not making a decision
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  can sometimes become a decision?
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  That putting something off can carry consequences?
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  That avoiding a conversation can allow confusion to continue?
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  That refusing to establish boundaries can leave you exhausted?
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  Real talkers, indecision doesn't always mean nothing is happening.
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  Sometimes, while you're standing still, opportunities are moving. Time is passing.
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  Patterns are becoming habits, and those habits are shaping your future.
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  Listen, I'm not telling you to rush into reckless decisions.
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  I'm telling you to stop allowing fear, familiarity, and comfort to make every decision for you.
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  Because there's a difference between taking your time to make a wise decision
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  and repeatedly delaying a decision you already know you need to make.
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  And sometimes the most uncomfortable question is this.
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  What is my refusal to change costing me?
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  Not just financially, what is it costing your peace, your progress,
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  your purpose, your potential?
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  Real talkers sometimes staying the same has a price tag too.
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  The Winning Wednesday Challenge. Now here's where we turn this conversation into transformation.
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  Because we're not just here to be motivated. We're here to move,
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  and I want you to remember three words, acknowledge, assess, act.
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  Coach C's homework, the 3A accountability challenge. Number one, acknowledge it.
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  Identify one thing in your life that you keep complaining about but have not
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  taken meaningful action to address.
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  Be honest with yourself. Is it a habit? A relationship dynamic?
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  Your finances? Your time management? A goal you've repeatedly postponed?
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  Write it down and ask yourself what part of this situation is actually within my control.
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  Number two assess it ask yourself three questions what needs to change what
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  is preventing me from making that change and what will it cost me if i continue
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  doing exactly what i'm doing,
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  Remember, Real Talkers, not everything is within your control,
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  so separate what you can influence from what you cannot and give yourself permission
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  to seek support where you need it.
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  Number three, act on it. Before this week ends, take one intentional step toward changing what you can.
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  Make the phone call. Have the conversation. Establish the boundary.
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  Create the plan ask for assistance break the pattern and if you cannot change
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  the situation itself identify one realistic way to better support yourself while navigating it,
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  it doesn't have to be a giant step but let it be a genuine step because small
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  steps take taken consistently can create meaningful change. Let me say that again.
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  Small steps taken consistently can create meaningful change.
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  Listen, real talkers, as we continue to fall into focus, I want you to remember something.
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  You cannot always choose your circumstances. You cannot always control the people around you.
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  And you cannot always determine how or when something changes.
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  But where you have a choice, don't keep surrendering it to comfort.
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  Stop allowing fear to make decisions that your future will have to live with.
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  Stop confusing familiarity with fulfillment and stop calling something impossible
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  before you've examined what's actually within your power.
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  What you ain't changing, you may be choosing to continue.
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  And when change is within your reach, it's time to make the choice to make the change.
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  Because real talkers, you don't win just by wishing things were different.
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  You start winning when you get intentional about what you can do differently.
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  And that is how we turn awareness into action and action into accountability.
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  So this Winning Wednesday, make the choice to make the change.
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  And as always, decide, commit, succeed, keep learning, keep living.
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  This is Real Talk for Real Life, where everyone is always learning and you're
• 10:06
  living your full experience.
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  Make sure you follow me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real Life.
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  That's L-Y-F-E for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes.
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  This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.