Transcript

Cliteracy · We Talk Back

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Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, a production of iHeartRadio
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Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network. Talk, talk, talk to them.
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Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically Black women with an opinion who
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Speaker 2: talk back.
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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? It's your girl AJ Holiday. What's up,
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Speaker 1: Tan Van? Y'all, it's me, Tan Van. We back again.
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Speaker 1: Thank y'all for coming back. I love you so much.
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Speaker 1: Remember the podcast was supposed to be Black at it.
0:29
Speaker 1: Black at it again. That was one of the... Power
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Speaker 1: over dicks. P.O.D. Black at it. What else was there?
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Speaker 1: I think that was it. We talk black. Was it
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Speaker 1: we talk black? I feel like we said that too.
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Speaker 1: What was that going to be about? Same shit. Shame.
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Speaker 2: How was your weekend tell us everybody about jamaica man.
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Speaker 1: We had a good time man i ate so much
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Speaker 1: food man i had so many good tings.
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Speaker 2: Listen first of all i don't know if i'm just
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Speaker 2: not in y'all close friends but nobody posted shit.
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Speaker 1: Bitch we got a whole um you know how you
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Speaker 1: um share like albums Guess how many photos went to this?
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Speaker 1: Like five or something like that. Girl, we was literally drunk, high,
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Speaker 1: and hungry. I mean, full the whole time. You know
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Speaker 1: when you're on vacation, especially you got people like a
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Speaker 1: chef and shit like that. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, every single day.
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Speaker 1: And how do you push away from the table? It
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Speaker 1: was such a fucking struggle. I'm like, I don't eat
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Speaker 1: this much at home. Did y'all go clubbing? Why am
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Speaker 1: I eating breakfast? No, most of the time we was
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Speaker 1: at the villa because it just was that fucking nice.
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Speaker 1: And girl, what club? What club we was about to
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Speaker 1: go to? I'm trying to figure out how I can
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Speaker 1: get me. Now I'm going to move to Jamaica now.
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Speaker 1: I ain't even Barbados no more. I need me some
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Speaker 1: land in Jamaica. Yeah, it's beautiful, man. So I'm trying
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Speaker 1: to figure that in the real way, for real. I
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Speaker 1: feel like I don't even want to buy a house
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Speaker 1: in America. I'll just have a vacation property there. At
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Speaker 1: least I could pay $ 500, 000, $ 600, 000 for oceanfront as opposed
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Speaker 1: to paying that for a house in America. A regular house. Exactly.
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Speaker 1: And I can vacation and rent that shit out. And
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Speaker 1: then an apocalypse just moved. Exactly. Yeah, we had a
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Speaker 1: good time, man. It's just, I did sunbathe my vagina also. Oh,
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Speaker 1: you did? Vaginal sunning. What is that, perennial sunning? Is
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Speaker 1: that what they call it? Like when you let something
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Speaker 1: get in your butthole? Oh, I didn't do my asshole.
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Speaker 1: I did my vagina. So I just was out there
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Speaker 1: with my legs open. I'm sure your butthole got some
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Speaker 1: if your ass was up, you know? My cheeks kind of,
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Speaker 1: you know, my cheeks don't surround your butthole. You wear
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Speaker 1: cock wide enough. It's like white women got a gap
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Speaker 1: like that. But my asshole, for the most part, is like,
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Speaker 1: you can't get in there unless you spreading cheeks. But
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Speaker 1: we had a good time. Were all of y'all out
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Speaker 1: there with y'all pussies to the sky? No, I told
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Speaker 1: them before we went that that was my plan. But
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Speaker 1: I didn't do it until the day before we left.
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Speaker 1: And I waited until sunrise, right at sunrise, and had
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Speaker 1: my coochie out there smoking my stuff, man. Yeah, sounds
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Speaker 1: like a good time. A good time, for real. You
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Speaker 1: really absorbed the vitamin D like that. I guess. You
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Speaker 1: think I got a new pussy now? I wouldn't go
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Speaker 1: that far.
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Speaker 3: I wouldn't go that far. But I'm glad you got some.
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Speaker 3: I feel like I feel a little renewed.
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Speaker 1: I'm exhausted at the same time, but I do feel like,
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Speaker 1: you know, after vacation, you kind of feel like... You
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Speaker 1: need a vacation from the vacation. Yes. But I did
4:00
Speaker 1: enjoy my vacation, man. I definitely. Well, that's good. Still
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Speaker 1: need another. What you had going on? I just, you
4:06
Speaker 1: know what? It's that time of year where hair picks up.
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Speaker 1: Thank you, God. Summer is slow for me because I
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Speaker 1: don't do braids. So I just was working a lot.
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Speaker 2: And then me and the girls at the Salon Designer
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Speaker 2: Beauty Clinic here in Charlotte, we have been taking turns
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Speaker 2: like just building morale between all of us that work
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Speaker 2: in the building. It was my turn, so I hosted
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Speaker 2: a little taco night at my house.
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Speaker 1: And we just all kicked back and drank. Shindig. And
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Speaker 1: smoked and talked shit. And that was it. It was
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Speaker 1: a pretty light weekend. That's fun, though. I like house stuff. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: me too. I enjoyed it. My homeboy had a 90s
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Speaker 1: party for his birthday. Oh, I saw that on your story. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: it was. Bitch, I had a 40 ounce. Where do
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Speaker 1: you even find that? Walmart for $ 3. 22. Dang. The fuck?
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Speaker 1: I still got it, too. It's probably flat now. It
5:00
Speaker 1: was oldie. It's Schlitz. It was. No, it wasn't. I
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Speaker 1: can't find the old English. It was. I got to
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Speaker 1: look in the refrigerator. I forgot what brand it is.
5:09
Speaker 1: Grab your affordation app. I got to look at the refrigerator.
5:13
Speaker 1: I'm going to cook some crabs and put that shit
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Speaker 1: in the pot. Yeah. Touche. That's what I'm going to do.
5:19
Speaker 1: All right. Let's get into Sam's. All right.
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Speaker 2: So I saw this over the weekend. Savannah James flew
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Speaker 2: first class while her longtime friend, a business partner, April McDaniel,
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Speaker 2: flew coach. April told Boardroom's Mental Wealth that first class
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Speaker 2: wasn't in her budget. And Savannah said her friends have
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Speaker 2: never expected her to pay their way They can be
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Speaker 2: close without pretending they have the same money. And the
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Speaker 2: question was, if you were Savannah, would you have paid
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Speaker 2: for the upgrade?
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Speaker 1: I would definitely pay for your upgrade. Yeah. If I
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Speaker 1: got it. Like, I'm going to pay for your upgrade.
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Speaker 1: But I mean, I don't know. Especially if we're going together.
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Speaker 1: At least once. Yeah. At least once so you can
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Speaker 1: get the experience. And that's motivation being in first class.
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Speaker 1: I think if.
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Speaker 2: We're going, if it's just me and you, and we're
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Speaker 2: on a trip together, and I'm a billionaire, I'm going
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Speaker 2: to pay for your upgrade so you can be in
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Speaker 2: first class. I wouldn't feel comfortable with you backing coach,
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Speaker 2: and I'm in first class when I can afford it.
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Speaker 2: But I do appreciate the fact that they don't expect
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Speaker 2: it from her.
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Speaker 1: I wonder if they were flying international. Because you know
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Speaker 1: them international first class, business class flights be all at
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Speaker 1: $ 10, 000 and shit. Yeah, it was definitely international because she said,
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Speaker 1: I went and got in her bed. Oh, well then,
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Speaker 1: so that's different, right? So now, I mean, maybe once.
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Speaker 1: It wouldn't be a thing, right? But yeah, I would
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Speaker 1: want my friend to have that experience if she hasn't
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Speaker 1: done it before. Yeah, but all the time, no.
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Speaker 2: I'm just trying to figure out what kind of plane
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Speaker 2: they was on because the international flights that I've taken
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Speaker 2: that were first class.
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Speaker 1: Me and another bitch can't get that bad together. I
7:03
Speaker 1: don't know how y'all did that. Might have been on
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Speaker 1: a train. Damn. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
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Speaker 1: I guess to each his own. Yeah. I don't think
7:13
Speaker 1: the Internet is probably going to be talking shit. Oh,
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Speaker 1: they're talking shit about Savannah. Yeah, and y'all don't even
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Speaker 1: know what this even, like, you may never be in
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Speaker 1: a position to pay $ 10, 000 for your homegirl flight. Right.
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Speaker 1: So why are you pressing somebody else to do it?
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Speaker 2: I'm sure that there are perks that comes with being
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Speaker 2: Savannah James' homegirl.
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Speaker 1: Maybe not the first class rights, but it's something, you know? Exactly. Exactly.
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Speaker 1: So I get it. I ain't mad at it.
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Speaker 2: I would definitely trick off with my friends. But you
7:41
Speaker 2: see what happened to MC Hammer ass.
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Speaker 1: Broke. Right. Broke again. Where the fuck is MC Hammer? Right.
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Speaker 1: Anybody talk to him? But he probably got way more
7:54
Speaker 1: money than me, so let me not call nobody broke. Yeah.
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Speaker 1: What the fuck was that? Did you hear my voice?
8:02
Speaker 1: You sound like a grown man. Where's MC Hammer at?
8:05
Speaker 1: It sounded like somebody else came out of there. All right. So, Tam,
8:10
Speaker 1: you said you did watch the Different World revival. Yes,
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Speaker 1: I loved it.
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Speaker 2: First of all, before you get into it, the nigga,
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Speaker 2: the main character with the dress, I don't know his
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Speaker 2: real name, Baby Mufasa Simba.
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Speaker 1: Oh, my God. He fine?
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Speaker 2: He fine as hell. And that's not even my, because
8:32
Speaker 2: I don't really like them red bones like that. But
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Speaker 2: he is fine. And Taylor, it was so funny because Taylor,
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Speaker 2: our old producer, she sent it to us, sent it
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Speaker 2: to me, and I was like, mm-mm, he too pretty.
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Speaker 2: She's like, look at his page. And I went to
8:45
Speaker 2: that page.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. He could get it. For sure. That's him? Oh,
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Speaker 1: that's him. That's him.
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Speaker 2: He a young man, though, but he a man. He
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Speaker 2: over 21, so I don't feel. I had to go
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Speaker 2: look to make sure it was okay to lust after
9:01
Speaker 2: him like.
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Speaker 1: How I was. And where your daddy at? Where your
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Speaker 1: daddy at? For real. He got a fine little brother, too.
9:10
Speaker 1: I think I can. All right. So this article is
9:13
Speaker 1: from People Magazine. So apparently the Internet has been all
9:17
Speaker 1: over Jasmine Guy's appearance. And it's not like the first time. Right. But,
9:23
Speaker 1: you know, she played her character on A Different World Revival.
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Speaker 1: And Jasmine Guy's response, she says, the Internet can be
9:31
Speaker 1: a very can be very brutal. As she responds to
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Speaker 1: criticism on her appearance. So it says the actress, 64,
9:39
Speaker 1: has been in the spotlight after reprising her role as
9:43
Speaker 1: Whitney Gilbert in a different world revival series. Now streaming
9:48
Speaker 1: on Netflix. Ad. Please. As viewers enjoy the new series
9:55
Speaker 1: and revisit their original, online commentary has been unkind. about
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Speaker 1: Jasmine Jasmine Guy's appearance Guy addressed the criticism head on
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Speaker 1: by sharing an Instagram post about aging the internet can
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Speaker 1: be brutal to women as we grow older it asks
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Speaker 1: us to celebrate life by criticizing every sign that we've
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Speaker 1: lived she began Growing older brings change, and I won't
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Speaker 1: pretend every change is easy, but beauty, style, and joy
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Speaker 1: don't have an expiration date, she continued. Let's spend less
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Speaker 1: time judging ourselves and each other and more time loving
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Speaker 1: each other, making memories, and living the life we're here
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Speaker 1: to live. I agree. I agree.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, they so hard on her. And it's like, damn,
10:46
Speaker 2: a woman can't do shit. She can't even get old.
10:48
Speaker 2: What do they expect her to look like? The same
10:50
Speaker 2: woman from 1982? Yeah, and.
10:54
Speaker 1: Tina Knowles chimed in and said, yes, queen, we love you. Now,
10:57
Speaker 1: we know Mama Knowles is fine. Yeah, girl, shut up.
11:00
Speaker 1: Nobody want to hear you in the Amy corner. So
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Speaker 1: over the weekend, I also went to a wedding, my
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Speaker 1: cousin's wedding, on Saturday when I got back from Jamaica.
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Speaker 1: And my mom is 73.
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Speaker 2: Your mama look, y'all. AJ sent me a video of
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Speaker 2: her mama in this dress and she looks preserved. Like
11:22
Speaker 2: she don't be tripping.
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Speaker 1: Cause I'd be like, you fine. Like the same things
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Speaker 1: we'd be doing, like pulling that stuff. She's you 73 though.
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Speaker 1: And you got the money to go do the things.
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Speaker 1: And she's like, I'm not spending my money on that.
11:33
Speaker 1: So you got some women that's going to go do
11:35
Speaker 1: all the nips and tucks and all that shit to
11:37
Speaker 1: continue to look young. I'm going to be one of
11:38
Speaker 1: those women. I'm going to be honest. Me too. Bitch.
11:41
Speaker 1: I'm snatching the hell out of my face at 60. Okay.
11:44
Speaker 1: Let's be very clear. Like if it's not, if it's
11:46
Speaker 1: falling apart, I'm going, I'm going to do the thing. Like,
11:49
Speaker 1: The reason why I began Botox on my chin now
11:52
Speaker 1: is because my mom has this little thing here and
11:55
Speaker 1: I can see my future in her face. So I'm like,
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Speaker 1: I want to try to help prevent that from drooping.
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Speaker 1: Little bulldog thing in the middle, you know, with age.
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Speaker 1: But she look the fuck good. Yes, great. My mom
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Speaker 1: is in good health. She's 73. And I made a comment.
12:13
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, you see Portia Mama. Portia Mama
12:15
Speaker 1: out here fine as hell. Beyonce Mama. But of course,
12:18
Speaker 1: these people have gotten extensive work.
12:20
Speaker 2: Right.
12:21
Speaker 1: Jasmine Goddard look like she just let her body age. Yes, exactly.
12:25
Speaker 1: And she's probably in great health. And she still look beautiful, though,
12:28
Speaker 1: to me.
12:28
Speaker 2: I don't feel like she's like, she just look like
12:31
Speaker 2: a woman who is aging.
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Speaker 1: So I know it sucks.
12:34
Speaker 2: Because let me tell you, you're either going to get
12:36
Speaker 2: older or you're going to die.
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Speaker 1: The only two options. Yep. And getting old is the goal.
12:42
Speaker 2: Right.
12:43
Speaker 1: So what are we talking about? That part.
12:47
Speaker 2: First of all, shout out to the show. It's so good, y'all.
12:50
Speaker 2: I know most of y'all probably don't watch it because
12:51
Speaker 2: it was number one on Netflix. But if you haven't,
12:54
Speaker 2: take the time to watch it. It is really, really good.
12:56
Speaker 2: And it touches on black topics and black issues and
13:01
Speaker 2: all the things That we care about.
13:03
Speaker 1: So I enjoy it.
13:05
Speaker 2: And then Tachina Arnold's daughter plays one of the main
13:09
Speaker 2: cast members on the show.
13:10
Speaker 1: Oh, nice. I know.
13:12
Speaker 2: She can sing like her mama. She look like her.
13:14
Speaker 2: You know, it's so cute. And I like how they,
13:18
Speaker 2: you know, reprise all the old roles. So they got Whitley.
13:21
Speaker 2: They got, what's the one who was like, power to
13:25
Speaker 2: the people?
13:27
Speaker 1: Oh, the little crazy one.
13:30
Speaker 2: With the curly hair? I can't think of her name
13:32
Speaker 2: right now, and I know it, but she's Freddie.
13:34
Speaker 1: She's Freddie. She's super whole teppy. Yeah. In real life. Yeah.
13:39
Speaker 2: And just all the girls, Jaleesa and her husband. They have,
13:45
Speaker 2: I don't want to tell it all, Jada on there.
13:47
Speaker 1: Jada Pinkett.
13:48
Speaker 2: So it's like Lena. So all the Charmaine, all the
13:52
Speaker 2: old characters is on there.
13:53
Speaker 1: So it's good. But all right.
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Speaker 2: So last scene. Actor Kendrick Sampson. So y'all know one
14:01
Speaker 2: of Issa Rae's love interests on Insecure, Kendrick Sampson, he
14:08
Speaker 2: got on somebody's podcast and was talking about he don't
14:12
Speaker 2: want a child in a romantic relationship. He wants his
14:16
Speaker 2: children with homegirls because he don't want romantic energy to
14:22
Speaker 2: confuse how important it is the child rearing. So that
14:28
Speaker 2: needs to take the forefront. And romance will pretty much
14:32
Speaker 2: cloud that and make it harder for them to be
14:35
Speaker 2: good parents.
14:38
Speaker 1: And boy, shut your ass up. Yeah. What? See, y'all
14:44
Speaker 1: the plot. Like, we've lost the plot. Boy, what are
14:48
Speaker 1: you talking about? Just say that you are not interested
14:51
Speaker 1: in women in that way, but you still want children.
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Speaker 1: Because that's what I'm hearing. Because on no planet is
14:59
Speaker 1: a child better off with parents in separate homes. Because
15:02
Speaker 1: it sounds like, you know, you just want to be co-parents. Like,
15:04
Speaker 1: the kid would probably be living with the mom. And
15:07
Speaker 1: then he said homegirls with an S, like, plural. So,
15:09
Speaker 1: you're just going to have babies with homegirls who want
15:14
Speaker 1: children but don't have a man. This is why I
15:17
Speaker 1: be saying, like, what baby? Because what woman want a
15:19
Speaker 1: child with a man that ain't they man? Like, that is, like,
15:22
Speaker 1: the final resort. Yeah, I don't want children that bad.
15:26
Speaker 1: I want a family. Me neither, girl. You know what
15:29
Speaker 1: I'm saying? So if I can't, at this age, if
15:31
Speaker 1: I can't have the family, I don't just want a child. Like,
15:34
Speaker 1: you fuck around and get me pregnant, you better take
15:36
Speaker 1: your kid with you. Right. And I mean that from
15:39
Speaker 1: the bottom of my heart. cervix. Bitch. I'm leaving how
15:49
Speaker 1: I came and I did not come with this kid. Yeah,
15:52
Speaker 1: I mean that. So it sounds to me he doesn't,
15:55
Speaker 1: he just doesn't want romantic relationships with women in that way.
15:58
Speaker 1: He just, he wants to be a dad though. And
16:02
Speaker 1: that's weird energy to me. Yeah.
16:04
Speaker 2: And you sat up on somebody's podcast and told everybody that.
16:07
Speaker 2: And I'm just trying to think of which one of
16:09
Speaker 2: his homegirls was like, yeah, I give.
16:11
Speaker 1: Him a baby. What an interview was like. Yeah. Yeah.
16:16
Speaker 2: She was just trying to get through it, I think.
16:20
Speaker 1: I don't like interviews where people just let people say
16:22
Speaker 1: shit and don't challenge them. Yeah. Like, what? You agree
16:26
Speaker 1: with that? Maybe she does agree with it. Yeah. Maybe
16:29
Speaker 1: she wholeheartedly agrees with it. Maybe she, too, just wants
16:33
Speaker 1: children and not the nuclear thing. Family. Which people are
16:37
Speaker 1: always fighting against and trying to split up. But that
16:40
Speaker 1: is how nations are built healthy. Right. Okay? I don't know.
16:45
Speaker 2: We just don't want kids just growing up in a
16:48
Speaker 2: world where they don't see any families together.
16:51
Speaker 1: You know? Like, they just think that's normal. I don't
16:54
Speaker 1: want that. Me either. For our babies. Anyway, boo, nigga, boo. Boo, nigga,
17:00
Speaker 1: fuck out of here. We don't want to hear you talk. Triple,
17:05
Speaker 1: just triple the ball. All right, so today I started
17:11
Speaker 1: this book, and I haven't finished it yet, but I
17:13
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about some of the things I've learned already,
17:16
Speaker 1: and it's called Pussy, a reclamation by Regina Tomashor.
17:24
Speaker 2: And it's really about having... There was a chapter called Cliteracy,
17:29
Speaker 2: and I thought this was interesting. And I want us
17:32
Speaker 2: to get into it right after this break.
17:36
Speaker 1: Yeah.
17:43
Speaker 2: All right.
17:44
Speaker 1: So what is cliteracy?
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Speaker 2: The simple definition is knowing your own body, your pleasure,
17:51
Speaker 2: your desires, your turn-ons, your turn-offs. And being able to
17:56
Speaker 2: communicate them, most importantly.
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Speaker 1: I think a lot of women would struggle with that.
18:02
Speaker 1: That part.
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Speaker 2: You know, even in your 40s, you still might be
18:05
Speaker 2: struggling to communicate those things.
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Speaker 1: So first I want to talk about you. Me? In particular? Okay,
18:15
Speaker 1: let's go. So when did you learn, like actually learn
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Speaker 1: what you liked? You know, I've been on this planet
18:28
Speaker 1: a few times and I'd be remembering things. I don't know.
18:32
Speaker 1: I just, I've always been like, I've always been like, uh,
18:37
Speaker 1: sexually liberated. Right. Um, my sister bought me a vibrator
18:42
Speaker 1: at 16. Like, and I really, and I bought my nieces, well,
18:46
Speaker 1: not my youngest niece, cause you know, her mom is
18:48
Speaker 1: the one who bought me the vibrator, but I bought
18:50
Speaker 1: my other niece a vibrator. And when I noticed that,
18:54
Speaker 1: the transition is coming. She's, you know, it's, it's really
18:58
Speaker 1: like having a cat or a dog. Like you got
18:59
Speaker 1: to keep their ass in the house. So they want
19:01
Speaker 1: to meet like, but you know, once you come, you
19:04
Speaker 1: come to your senses. Right. So start here first.
19:07
Speaker 2: Right.
19:09
Speaker 1: So I've always been like sexual knowing what I like. Um,
19:18
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I feel like I've always,
19:20
Speaker 1: and I've always been able to communicate and tell people, Hey,
19:23
Speaker 1: do it like this.
19:26
Speaker 2: But see, for me, especially when I was young, I
19:31
Speaker 2: don't think sex was so much about my own pleasure
19:35
Speaker 2: for me. Sex was more for me a tool and
19:43
Speaker 2: a thing for my ego. It wasn't about my pleasure,
19:48
Speaker 2: per se.
19:49
Speaker 1: Interesting.
19:50
Speaker 2: Like, I used it to get what I want from
19:55
Speaker 2: the man who I was dealing.
19:57
Speaker 1: With or maybe not, you know? I used it. That's
20:01
Speaker 1: a skill set too. You got to learn how to
20:03
Speaker 1: translate the vagina into monetary value also because a lot
20:07
Speaker 1: of people don't know how, you know?
20:08
Speaker 2: Yep.
20:10
Speaker 1: For my man, you know, I would use it as
20:12
Speaker 1: a tool.
20:13
Speaker 2: Or I would use sex to stroke my ego like, oh,
20:20
Speaker 2: look what I can make him do with my body.
20:22
Speaker 1: You know? Interesting.
20:25
Speaker 2: Like, but it wasn't about my own pleasure. It didn't
20:30
Speaker 2: become about my pleasure for real until I got in
20:35
Speaker 2: my 30s, I think.
20:37
Speaker 1: And that's when I.
20:38
Speaker 2: Was like, It didn't feel as much like I was
20:44
Speaker 2: giving something away as I was also receiving something. And
20:48
Speaker 2: that was in my 30s. In my 20s, it was like,
20:53
Speaker 2: just a gift for you. Here's a gift. Here I'm
20:56
Speaker 2: giving you this gift. And it's still that. But my
21:00
Speaker 2: pleasure was never considered in a real way.
21:03
Speaker 1: I see what you're saying. Does that make sense? No,
21:07
Speaker 1: I think that's a lot of women, right? Because we
21:10
Speaker 1: talk about how the female orgasm is like a new
21:13
Speaker 1: age thing. Men didn't give a damn. Just like on
21:16
Speaker 1: Color Purple. He just get on his do his do.
21:18
Speaker 1: Do his business. Yeah, like men have been doing that
21:22
Speaker 1: and women have just been, you know, not like a
21:26
Speaker 1: woman having an orgasm. Men really didn't care. And there
21:29
Speaker 1: are still men out here who don't pay enough. attention
21:32
Speaker 1: to the woman they're with or even just a woman's
21:34
Speaker 1: body period they're just that selfish it's just i'ma come
21:37
Speaker 1: it's a special type of man who want to make
21:39
Speaker 1: sure you get yours first.
21:40
Speaker 2: Right and then even the things that we learn as
21:44
Speaker 2: a young woman you're like oh you need to learn
21:47
Speaker 2: how to ride dick you need to learn how to
21:50
Speaker 2: give head you know like not as a child obviously
21:53
Speaker 2: but like in your 20s that's what you talk about
21:56
Speaker 2: oh this is how you're supposed to do it even
21:58
Speaker 2: in Girl's trip. Oh, you ain't never did the pineapple
22:00
Speaker 2: or whatever.
22:01
Speaker 1: She took the fruit. Oh, yeah. But it's never anybody teaching.
22:04
Speaker 1: The grapefruit. Yeah, the grapefruit.
22:06
Speaker 2: It's never a conversation about your own pleasure. Like, nobody's like, girl,
22:12
Speaker 2: this is how you come. Or this is how, like,
22:16
Speaker 2: teaching you how to find your own pleasure. I never
22:19
Speaker 2: had no conversations really about, like, my own pleasure. Like,
22:24
Speaker 2: especially as a young girl, nobody was like, If you
22:27
Speaker 2: do this, if you put your leg right here and
22:29
Speaker 2: put your foot right here, this is going to be
22:31
Speaker 2: pleasing to you. You know, it was never that conversation.
22:34
Speaker 2: It was always about how I could please the other person.
22:38
Speaker 1: And that was... Maybe I'm the selfish one. It was
22:42
Speaker 1: always about... I just feel like I am supposed to
22:46
Speaker 1: be worshipped. The fuck? Yeah, like, I don't know. Maybe
22:52
Speaker 1: I can remember being on a college tour, bitch. This
22:55
Speaker 1: is high school. I was getting head on the college tour.
22:59
Speaker 1: Oh my. And I got a couple of people that
23:02
Speaker 1: can come over here and talk about it. Like I
23:04
Speaker 1: have been, I taught a nigga how to eat pussy
23:06
Speaker 1: on a college tour. You see what I'm saying? Like
23:10
Speaker 1: he didn't get any pussy. Like maybe I've been the
23:14
Speaker 1: selfish one. Like I, I don't know. You were always
23:18
Speaker 1: more about your own pleasure. Just make it both sides.
23:22
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm going to make
23:23
Speaker 1: sure I'm pleasing the other person, but I'm not going
23:25
Speaker 1: to neglect my, I've never like neglected myself sexually. The
23:29
Speaker 1: times that I have felt like I've been neglected by
23:31
Speaker 1: a man sexually, just know that that was the last
23:34
Speaker 1: time we've had sex. You could ask a mutual friend
23:37
Speaker 1: of ours about a particular situation. Terry. It's the fucking
23:42
Speaker 1: one of Terry homeboys. We had sex one time and
23:46
Speaker 1: I was like, that's it. This nigga told me that
23:50
Speaker 1: I should be grateful. Oh, wow. And that was the
23:54
Speaker 1: last time I ever, like, and I mean, it was quick, Papa,
23:59
Speaker 1: and I should be grateful. Oh, wow. That's wow. And
24:03
Speaker 1: he's probably spent the next 10 years trying to see me.
24:06
Speaker 2: Yes.
24:07
Speaker 1: Trying to get, yeah, absolutely fucking not. Because I will
24:10
Speaker 1: cold turkey ice your ass. There's no way. And I'm
24:13
Speaker 1: pretty sure he learned from that. situation and did better
24:16
Speaker 1: i mean we in our 20s you know i'm saying
24:19
Speaker 1: young some people are just not that sexually advanced but
24:22
Speaker 1: i have always been because i started off pleasing myself
24:26
Speaker 1: i know what i what i liked always so imagine
24:30
Speaker 1: i'm i'm i'm engaging in sex with a man and
24:33
Speaker 1: i'm not gonna be pleased hell fucking.
24:35
Speaker 2: No see it was i it that didn't come for
24:38
Speaker 2: me till later in my 20s like I enjoyed it,
24:43
Speaker 2: but I had never came before. Like, none of that
24:45
Speaker 2: stuff wasn't happening in my... That's why I was just
24:48
Speaker 2: like more of a.
24:50
Speaker 1: See, with the orgasms, I don't know that... Because I
24:54
Speaker 1: didn't have orgasm from intercourse with a man until, you know,
24:59
Speaker 1: probably late 20s into my 30s as well. From intercourse,
25:03
Speaker 1: I mean from penetration. I was always coming off of
25:07
Speaker 1: some clitoral stimulation. But of actual penetration, it took a while.
25:12
Speaker 1: So I don't know. That's something the men, I don't
25:14
Speaker 1: know how you teach a man how to stroke you.
25:17
Speaker 1: I think that thing comes from them routinely doing it
25:23
Speaker 1: with other women and seeing what people like. And then
25:25
Speaker 1: they get their little... that's why I like hoes that's
25:28
Speaker 1: why I like hoes I like hoes cause hoes the
25:34
Speaker 1: male hoes they know yes nobody want uh uh I
25:38
Speaker 1: need a hoe go fuck some more come back alright
25:47
Speaker 1: so maybe I'm selfish I don't know so alright.
25:52
Speaker 2: What does someone do that makes you feel desired.
25:57
Speaker 1: Like, what can someone do? Well, I can start with
26:02
Speaker 1: what someone can't do. I really don't like men talking
26:05
Speaker 1: to me sexually unless I initiate that type of shit.
26:10
Speaker 1: That's a major turn off for me. If we have
26:12
Speaker 1: never had sex and you're just talking about sex to me,
26:14
Speaker 1: that is not going to make me want to fuck
26:17
Speaker 1: you whatsoever. I think acting a little bit uninterested a
26:21
Speaker 1: little bit. Oh, you like a little change? Yeah, that
26:24
Speaker 1: might be a little... You don't want to fuck me? Like,
26:27
Speaker 1: that might be a little turn on. I like being
26:32
Speaker 1: told I'm beautiful, gorgeous, that type of shit. That's a
26:35
Speaker 1: turn on. Compliments. Yes. And I'm learning how to accept
26:39
Speaker 1: compliments without criticizing myself afterwards. Because these niggas like it.
26:44
Speaker 1: They like jellybacks, all that shit. Right. They like it
26:48
Speaker 1: soft as pushy. They won't hold on to that shit,
26:50
Speaker 1: to them wings. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so... Yeah, compliments for sure.
26:58
Speaker 1: Just acts of kindness.
27:01
Speaker 2: Same.
27:01
Speaker 1: You know, doing some nice things for me.
27:06
Speaker 2: You know what makes me really feel desire? When I
27:10
Speaker 2: know that a man is listening to me. When he
27:15
Speaker 2: can regurgitate some shit that I said to me, like
27:18
Speaker 2: out of nowhere, like, Yeah, don't you say you like vanilla?
27:21
Speaker 2: So I got you this vanilla candy.
27:23
Speaker 1: Oh, pussy coupon, my boy. Like little stuff like that. Yeah,
27:28
Speaker 1: you hear me.
27:29
Speaker 2: Oh, you hear me. You hear the things I like.
27:31
Speaker 2: You hear the things I enjoy. Because it don't have
27:33
Speaker 2: to be like, I like gifts too. It doesn't have
27:36
Speaker 2: to be like, oh, I just went out and bought
27:39
Speaker 2: you a car. No, I got you flowers from Trader Joe's.
27:42
Speaker 2: They were $ 10, but they're beautiful. You know, little things
27:46
Speaker 2: like that makes me feel very desired. I like when
27:51
Speaker 2: someone who, because I like physical affection, that doesn't always
27:56
Speaker 2: lead to sex. So when someone can come in and
27:59
Speaker 2: hold me and caress me and rub my hair and
28:03
Speaker 2: things like that, but they're not trying to, like, it's not, like,
28:07
Speaker 2: part of the plot to get some pussy, you know?
28:10
Speaker 1: Like, it doesn't feel, even though it's always part of it.
28:12
Speaker 1: That's what intimacy is, right? So a lot of men,
28:14
Speaker 1: they think intimacy is, like, right before sex. you want
28:18
Speaker 1: to have sex with me like when we in the bed. No,
28:20
Speaker 1: that shit is all day long. Just a random touching,
28:23
Speaker 1: a random kissing, just saying little things. It can even
28:26
Speaker 1: be like you at work, I'm at work or wherever
28:28
Speaker 1: we at and you texting me some shit like, you know,
28:31
Speaker 1: flirting via text, all that stuff. That is what intimacy is.
28:34
Speaker 1: It is not you tapping me on the shoulder. Like,
28:38
Speaker 1: come on. Come on, I'll roll over. Baby, I heard you.
28:42
Speaker 1: I hated that line. You know what I'm saying? I'm like,
28:45
Speaker 1: fuck out of here. Kick off your shoes and relax
28:50
Speaker 1: your feet. Yeah, that's the energy. Yeah. Tap me on
28:55
Speaker 1: my shoulder, I'll roll over. Every man wants a woman. That.
28:58
Speaker 1: All right. Yeah, but buying shit now, for real, like, okay,
29:05
Speaker 1: I don't know that you like me or love me
29:07
Speaker 1: if I can't look around. And see some shit you bought. Something.
29:13
Speaker 1: I don't remember you now. You know what I'm saying? Like,
29:17
Speaker 1: I don't remember dick that much. Now, purchasing me something
29:20
Speaker 1: nice or something I really want, absolutely. My boyfriend be
29:24
Speaker 1: taking notes on things I say I like. Yeah, that's
29:27
Speaker 1: what I want. I've never had that. Listening, yeah. He
29:32
Speaker 1: is very attentive, even to my fucking mama girl. My
29:35
Speaker 1: mama like shit. We was at my mama's house one day,
29:39
Speaker 1: and she's like real anal about stuff, bitch. So her
29:44
Speaker 1: stools got to be a certain width apart at her
29:48
Speaker 1: island and got to be right on the line at
29:50
Speaker 1: a hardwood floor type shit. So he got up, and
29:52
Speaker 1: then he started adjusting the seat because he paid attention
29:55
Speaker 1: to the other two seats.
29:57
Speaker 2: And she was like, oh, you be watching.
30:00
Speaker 1: You be painting. Yes. Like, I love that about him. Yes,
30:03
Speaker 1: I agree. I love that.
30:04
Speaker 2: And it's just the small things that you notice like
30:07
Speaker 2: that that makes you feel like this person really cares.
30:10
Speaker 2: And they're going the extra mile to show me, even
30:13
Speaker 2: though it's the small things.
30:15
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. And that be the shit women talking about. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
30:21
Speaker 1: Come cut my grass. You outside.
30:23
Speaker 2: Like, sweat equity will get you further away. their money sometimes.
30:27
Speaker 1: When I tell you I love it, I love to
30:29
Speaker 1: see niggas doing stuff. I love to see a man, like,
30:33
Speaker 1: fixing some shit, working. I love to see a man
30:35
Speaker 1: in motion. I do not, like, sedentary men. Like, get
30:40
Speaker 1: your motherfucking ass up and go do something. Like, go find,
30:44
Speaker 1: I need something done. There's something that you could do.
30:47
Speaker 1: Change a light bulb in this bitch. I cannot stand
30:51
Speaker 1: a nigga laying on the couch. Like, why are you resting?
30:53
Speaker 1: Are you a woman? Do you birth children? Why are
30:57
Speaker 1: your feet up? No, I'm tripping. Like, men can relax too. Yeah.
31:00
Speaker 1: But I better not catch your ass in a motherfucking
31:02
Speaker 1: bubble bath without me. Without me, yeah. Like, why are
31:05
Speaker 1: you sitting your big ass in the bathtub? With lavender, bitch? Oh,
31:10
Speaker 1: you a bad bitch. What the fuck? This nigga got
31:15
Speaker 1: lavender and patchouli in the bathtub with him. Mm-mm. Why
31:18
Speaker 1: are you resting? All right.
31:20
Speaker 2: What about, has anyone ever talked themselves out of sex
31:23
Speaker 2: with you?
31:24
Speaker 1: Absolutely. That's what I was talking about. Like, just mentioning
31:27
Speaker 1: sex and I haven't. No sex. Don't ask me for
31:32
Speaker 1: no money. Don't ask me for a ride. Don't ask
31:35
Speaker 1: me for shit.
31:38
Speaker 2: I went on a date with a guy and we
31:39
Speaker 2: were having, he was kind of weird, but, and I
31:42
Speaker 2: told him he was kind of weird to me.
31:43
Speaker 1: You know, I'm very transparent. But I was like, but
31:47
Speaker 1: it's cool though. You know, it's cool.
31:49
Speaker 2: And we were having a good time. We went to
31:51
Speaker 2: this new restaurant here in Charlotte, and the lady asked us,
31:54
Speaker 2: what did we want for dessert? And I got some
31:58
Speaker 2: creme brulee, and he ordered a brownie. And then the
32:00
Speaker 2: lady walked off, and he was like, I really would
32:03
Speaker 2: love to eat some Tam Bam for dessert.
32:08
Speaker 1: Oh, he did his tongue like that? Yes. And I
32:10
Speaker 1: was like, so grossed. Because you're already weird and now
32:15
Speaker 1: you just added another level of weirdness. Now I'm disgusted.
32:19
Speaker 1: Now I'm disgusted.
32:20
Speaker 2: This is what I said. I would really like a
32:25
Speaker 2: Chanel bag.
32:29
Speaker 1: Bitch.
32:32
Speaker 2: Because now let's both be uncomfortable.
32:35
Speaker 1: Yes that is always the suggestion the minute a nigga
32:38
Speaker 1: start mentioning money I mean sex mention money I mean
32:41
Speaker 1: immediately shortly thereafter so everybody can feel some type of
32:46
Speaker 1: way because men do not mind asking for what they
32:50
Speaker 1: want so if you want a Chanel bag either he's
32:54
Speaker 1: gonna get it or he's not gonna get it either
32:57
Speaker 1: way you might win you know what I'm saying and
32:59
Speaker 1: you get to keep your coochie also right Because I
33:02
Speaker 1: ain't got no coochie for you, sir. I said that
33:04
Speaker 1: because I want you to feel like how I.
33:06
Speaker 2: Feel in this moment.
33:09
Speaker 1: Just recently, this guy who I dated for a brief
33:14
Speaker 1: time some years ago messaged me on Instagram. And something
33:19
Speaker 1: he said. And I was like, I know I told
33:22
Speaker 1: you before, like, why? Because I cold turkied him, right?
33:28
Speaker 1: But I cold turkied him because you invited me out
33:31
Speaker 1: on a date. And I think I might have told
33:34
Speaker 1: you this before. The bill was like $ 80, $ 90. We
33:36
Speaker 1: played pool. We didn't even eat dinner. Just pool and
33:39
Speaker 1: drinks and all that shit. And the next day, he
33:42
Speaker 1: was like, damn, man, I can't believe that bill was
33:45
Speaker 1: such and such last night. We only had such and such.
33:47
Speaker 1: He was like, and when the bill came, you just
33:50
Speaker 1: looked around. Like, what was I supposed to do? Was
33:54
Speaker 1: I supposed to go on my purse? Was I supposed
33:57
Speaker 1: to go on my purse? And then also... A guy
34:00
Speaker 1: had said like some slick shit to me in the
34:02
Speaker 1: parking lot, drunk. And he didn't like, I'm not telling
34:06
Speaker 1: the nigga to risk his life for somebody he just
34:08
Speaker 1: started talking to. But I need to know that you
34:10
Speaker 1: are a protector. I can't fuck with no scary ass nigga.
34:14
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? At least like the most
34:17
Speaker 1: dangerous people are the ones who ain't afraid to get
34:19
Speaker 1: their ass whooped. And that would be me. Because I'm
34:22
Speaker 1: a fighter. And I didn't feel like he could or
34:25
Speaker 1: would protect me. You know what I'm saying? So, uh-uh. Yeah,
34:28
Speaker 1: at least be like, chill, my boy. Relax. She with me. Yeah. Immediately,
34:33
Speaker 1: I was pussy dry. Turned off. I'm cool now. Let
34:41
Speaker 1: me ask you this.
34:42
Speaker 2: Have you ever participated in something sexually and pretended to
34:47
Speaker 2: like it because your partner did?
34:50
Speaker 1: Um... I think that I only stop liking the things
34:55
Speaker 1: my partner likes when I don't like them no more.
34:57
Speaker 1: Because it would be things like one of my exes
35:00
Speaker 1: we would do sexually and it was weird, but he
35:03
Speaker 1: liked the things, right? And then when I no longer
35:06
Speaker 1: loved him, I was disgusted by those things. Like, yeah.
35:12
Speaker 1: So I think maybe it's tied to how you feel
35:16
Speaker 1: about that person. I'm not really going to do a
35:19
Speaker 1: bunch of shit that goes against That is not the
35:23
Speaker 1: case for me. My boundaries.
35:24
Speaker 2: I'm too fat for you to be pushing my legs
35:26
Speaker 2: that far back. I cannot breathe.
35:29
Speaker 1: We just ate. After dinner? We just ate. I'm about
35:32
Speaker 1: to throw up or die. Careful. But I will pretend.
35:39
Speaker 1: I will pretend to.
35:40
Speaker 2: Be enjoying that shit because I know my partner is
35:43
Speaker 2: enjoying it.
35:43
Speaker 1: But meanwhile, like, I'm two seconds from death. No, that's... Okay. So, okay. Tammy,
35:49
Speaker 1: you bringing up so many good, like, things I don't
35:51
Speaker 1: even be thinking about. Okay. The legs back is a
35:56
Speaker 1: bit much, right? But you, like, just hold your breath
35:59
Speaker 1: for a while. It's not that I'm not enjoying it,
36:02
Speaker 1: but it's like a thin line between fucking living and dying. Yes, man.
36:08
Speaker 1: And eventually I'll be like, I can't breathe. Eventually. But
36:11
Speaker 1: I'm going to let it go on for some time. Child,
36:13
Speaker 1: put my fucking legs down. That is hilarious, dog. But
36:19
Speaker 1: I will pretend.
36:32
Speaker 2: I would most likely pretend to be enjoying that bullshit.
36:37
Speaker 1: But I do like, okay, I was a little bit
36:38
Speaker 1: more flexible like me about two months ago. I got
36:43
Speaker 1: right now my stomach. Put me the fuck down. Let's
36:53
Speaker 1: try something else. I want to get back there because
36:57
Speaker 1: that's not that nigga's fault, man. Like, bitch, why you
36:59
Speaker 1: ain't flexible? Why is your stomach in the way? Like,
37:01
Speaker 1: that ain't that man's fault. Like, baby, I'm going to
37:04
Speaker 1: work on it. Yeah, but at least let my food digest.
37:07
Speaker 1: God damn. No, I do not like having sex right
37:09
Speaker 1: after eating. I be so miserable. I remember when we
37:13
Speaker 1: went to Vegas for GZ. I was, hey, baby, I
37:17
Speaker 1: was hoping this nigga did not want to have sex,
37:19
Speaker 1: but he didn't. so i had to do the thing
37:22
Speaker 1: spirit and oh my god i was so miserable having
37:27
Speaker 1: sex girl you loved it bitch i felt like a
37:31
Speaker 1: fucking roly-poly i was so that's miserable it's miserable get
37:40
Speaker 1: off of me let me lay on my side let
37:43
Speaker 1: me just go throw up first let me just On
37:45
Speaker 1: some anorexic shit. Let me get this food up out
37:48
Speaker 1: of me so we can have sex because I can't.
37:50
Speaker 1: Because you filling me up from one end and I
37:52
Speaker 1: done filled me up from the other. This is not good.
37:55
Speaker 1: I'm going to bust. It's a shame.
38:01
Speaker 2: So let me ask you this. If you couldn't mention
38:03
Speaker 2: a man, sex, kids, or work, what brings you pleasure?
38:11
Speaker 1: Food. Immediately. Immediately. Fucking food, bitch. I knew you was
38:16
Speaker 1: going to say that. Isn't food, though, good food, right?
38:23
Speaker 1: And it's usually my food, right? The things I like
38:26
Speaker 1: to eat and cook. I like spending money also. Was that,
38:31
Speaker 1: it said money? You can't say money?
38:33
Speaker 2: It said man, sex, kids, or work.
38:38
Speaker 1: So, yeah. Okay, I like... Shopping? I like buying things.
38:42
Speaker 1: I like looking for shit to buy. I like the
38:47
Speaker 1: Easter egg hunt type shit in TJ Maxx. Oh, yeah. Perusin,
38:51
Speaker 1: Tom Good, the TJ Maxx. Yeah, just fine. And like, yes,
38:53
Speaker 1: I like that. And I just think that it says
38:57
Speaker 1: something to the universe. Like, people be like not spending
39:00
Speaker 1: money because they worrying about... I think one of the
39:05
Speaker 1: ways that you manifest abundance is by spending money. I'm
39:09
Speaker 1: going to just be honest. Like, you got to act rich.
39:13
Speaker 1: You really have to. And just do the things. Dress up.
39:19
Speaker 1: Go to the mall dressed up. And yeah, I like
39:22
Speaker 1: doing that. Me too.
39:23
Speaker 2: Food is my answer, though. Before I like spending money,
39:26
Speaker 2: I love, give me a good meal and something good.
39:30
Speaker 2: to watch and I am the like a snug like
39:32
Speaker 2: a bug in a rug alright.
39:35
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this alright next question alright hold
39:41
Speaker 1: on sorry I lost have you ever faked an orgasm
39:44
Speaker 1: plenty times yes I might have been full from eating
39:48
Speaker 1: yeah I might have stayed like Plenty times. I feel like,
39:51
Speaker 1: I mean, until you actually started having orgasms, you were faking.
39:56
Speaker 2: And then I found out that men fake orgasms, too.
40:00
Speaker 1: Did you know that? Yeah, I know. But I would
40:02
Speaker 1: be pissed to know a nigga faked an orgasm. Me, too. Me, too.
40:07
Speaker 1: Because I just thought my pussy be hitting. Yeah. Over
40:10
Speaker 1: here faking. You even can't. I mean, I guess that
40:12
Speaker 1: would be condom sex. Because how else would they fake it?
40:16
Speaker 1: Because either they coming in on you or on you. Right.
40:19
Speaker 1: Condom sex. Condom sex. And maybe some men have fake
40:23
Speaker 1: condom sex because they tired of having sex with the condoms.
40:25
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, this shit over with. Yeah, I can't go.
40:27
Speaker 1: Pussy dry, condom dry, I ain't coming. Let's go to sleep.
40:35
Speaker 1: You better because you ain't hitting it raw.
40:38
Speaker 2: Right.
40:38
Speaker 1: I mean, I ain't mad. Should you tell somebody they're
40:42
Speaker 1: bad in bed? Yes. I feel like the problem... with
40:47
Speaker 1: society is that women have been lying to men instead
40:52
Speaker 1: of saying, hey, this isn't working for me. You need
40:54
Speaker 1: to do this. You have to tell people how to
40:57
Speaker 1: please you. Are they just going to do it how
40:59
Speaker 1: the other person liked it? Yeah, exactly. So you have
41:03
Speaker 1: to tell. Sex is not one size fits all.
41:07
Speaker 2: Okay, so I just got finished fucking you and it
41:09
Speaker 2: was bad. And I'm like, damn, girl, I put it down.
41:12
Speaker 1: You're not going to finish. What you mean you just
41:15
Speaker 1: got finished fucking me? I came. And we're having sex
41:17
Speaker 1: and shit.
41:18
Speaker 2: I came.
41:19
Speaker 1: So we done. What the fuck you talking about? We done.
41:23
Speaker 1: Your mouth broke? I'm like, damn, I put it down,
41:29
Speaker 1: ain't it, baby? What'd you say? I'm like, that's it.
41:33
Speaker 1: I just told you what I told a nigga. Like,
41:35
Speaker 1: that's it? We finished? Like, you ain't going to give me, like,
41:40
Speaker 1: some extended head at least? Suck my titties while I
41:42
Speaker 1: play my vibrator at least? That's how you would say it? Yes. Listen,
41:48
Speaker 1: when I engage in sex and I don't get to,
41:51
Speaker 1: I be, like, really sexually frustrated, like, borderline pissed. And
41:56
Speaker 1: you say it mean. Like, that's it. That's it? Ooh, ooh. No,
42:02
Speaker 1: I really haven't had that much bad dick in life.
42:05
Speaker 1: I would have like that to where I got to
42:08
Speaker 1: play with a nigga. They're memorable. I can remember the
42:12
Speaker 1: people I have to had to say like that wasn't good.
42:15
Speaker 2: I have had to do that, but I've never done
42:18
Speaker 2: it during. I waited till after it was over because
42:22
Speaker 2: I just I'm like, I don't want to hurt a
42:25
Speaker 2: man's ego.
42:28
Speaker 1: Because I think that's going to make the sex worse.
42:29
Speaker 2: Because now he in his head at that point.
42:32
Speaker 1: You know, now he's like self-conscious about performing. I guess
42:36
Speaker 1: it's how you see it, right?
42:38
Speaker 2: So that's what I had to say in a way
42:41
Speaker 2: that isn't. I always like to do a compliment sandwich.
42:46
Speaker 1: Girl, bye. And I start with something I enjoy. And
42:50
Speaker 1: what do you? The one dude you said you told him,
42:53
Speaker 1: what was his response? Was it nice to you? No,
42:56
Speaker 1: he walked out. He left. That's what I'm saying. It
42:58
Speaker 1: doesn't matter how nice you say it. I know men
43:00
Speaker 1: like abuse. So telling me you're hitting that pussy right,
43:04
Speaker 1: I bet you he'll fuck the shit out of you.
43:05
Speaker 1: I tried to. I tried to. At least try to.
43:09
Speaker 1: He might bring some extra dick next time. This is
43:11
Speaker 1: all the dick he got, though. You know what happened
43:17
Speaker 1: to me one time, man? Let me not talk about that.
43:20
Speaker 1: Go ahead. Not extra dick. It wasn't, like, another person.
43:24
Speaker 1: But I'm like, what the fuck? Like, all of a sudden,
43:26
Speaker 1: this dick had more girth. This nigga had a finger
43:29
Speaker 1: in there, too. With the dick. Yeah, damn. I was
43:36
Speaker 1: embarrassed for him. Right. And it's not because my coochie big, okay?
43:45
Speaker 1: You made fun of me because I have a wide-set vagina.
43:50
Speaker 1: It was not because of my coochie being big, okay?
43:52
Speaker 1: Don't get it fucked up. Ain't no kids come out here. Oh,
43:57
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that about y'all women with children either.
44:00
Speaker 1: I'm just, it's just a fact.
44:01
Speaker 2: Y'all coochies tight. Don't get mad at AJ. He's still tight.
44:05
Speaker 2: He can go back. All right, so would you stay
44:07
Speaker 2: in a great relationship plus bad sex? You stay in
44:11
Speaker 2: a leaving, but the relationship is amazing, but the sex
44:13
Speaker 2: is just not. Or great sex, but a shitty relationship.
44:21
Speaker 2: But he fucking you through the mattress.
44:23
Speaker 1: I feel like that has been a lot of my
44:26
Speaker 1: long-term relationships. Great sex, shitty partner. Sex is a form
44:37
Speaker 1: of communication. So if we are not having good... And
44:43
Speaker 1: I feel like anybody can improve, right? So as long
44:45
Speaker 1: as we're communicating about the thing... And hopefully there's things
44:50
Speaker 1: that you could do to make things better. I will,
44:53
Speaker 1: I will opt for the better relationship over sex for sure. Um,
44:59
Speaker 1: cause I feel like you can work on that. You
45:02
Speaker 1: can work on having some people just not as experienced.
45:06
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So it just takes
45:09
Speaker 1: a little bit more time. Like even like with men, um,
45:14
Speaker 1: Semen retention is a real thing. I think men should
45:17
Speaker 1: practice semen retention more so that they can last longer
45:23
Speaker 1: for their partner. Because it does take women a little
45:25
Speaker 1: bit longer to climax. Yeah, I agree.
45:29
Speaker 2: But if a nigga say he practices semen retention, I
45:32
Speaker 2: take that as a challenge.
45:34
Speaker 1: Challenge accepted. I'm going to try to make him come.
45:38
Speaker 1: I feel some type of way when a man don't come.
45:44
Speaker 1: That's an ego thing. Yeah. That's an ego thing. It
45:47
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with him. All right. Let me
45:49
Speaker 1: ask you this.
45:49
Speaker 2: What's harder to ask for what you need sexually or
45:53
Speaker 2: what you need emotionally?
45:57
Speaker 1: Um, I don't know. Uh, I guess equally. I mean,
46:08
Speaker 1: I think I feel I can ask for whatever I
46:11
Speaker 1: need emotionally or sexually. I don't have a problem communicating
46:17
Speaker 1: my needs because, again, men, they will tell you exactly
46:22
Speaker 1: what they need and want. So why aren't you doing it?
46:26
Speaker 2: All right.
46:26
Speaker 1: So at this age, I don't have a problem. I
46:29
Speaker 1: can't recall a time where I haven't been vocal about
46:32
Speaker 1: my emotional needs, for one. Mm-hmm. because I feel like
46:36
Speaker 1: that's a bigger thing than sex. If you're not making
46:40
Speaker 1: me like a woman, unless you're a car hopper type bitch,
46:45
Speaker 1: like you sell pussy, your vagina is tied directly to
46:49
Speaker 1: your heart. Yeah, I agree. Right? So if the emotions
46:52
Speaker 1: aren't there, my vagina isn't going to work for real.
46:55
Speaker 1: So it's like intertwined. I be feeling like these young
46:57
Speaker 1: girls ain't like that though. They like niggas. You always
47:00
Speaker 1: be saying that. They be different. But they still be
47:02
Speaker 1: getting pregnant. Yeah, they be getting pregnant. Strung out over
47:06
Speaker 1: men while they rapping about not giving a fuck about
47:10
Speaker 1: these niggas. They all got a boyfriend.
47:11
Speaker 2: But I just feel like some of them, just some
47:16
Speaker 2: of the ones that I have encountered, express that they
47:19
Speaker 2: could have sex without feeling anything.
47:23
Speaker 1: For a guy. I mean, I have. I'd be like,
47:27
Speaker 1: I love him. I've been trying to make it work.
47:31
Speaker 1: I mean, you can still love somebody that you don't
47:33
Speaker 1: want to be with because the sex is that great.
47:35
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been there, too. Like, this is not
47:38
Speaker 1: my person.
47:41
Speaker 2: But I just feel like if you keep having sex
47:42
Speaker 2: with a person, you don't have, like, no emotions involved.
47:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, eventually. But I think that's where women start hallucinating.
47:50
Speaker 1: And maybe that's what the young girls are better at,
47:51
Speaker 1: not hallucinating. Confusing sex with... Attachment. Yeah. You know, like,
47:59
Speaker 1: you can have sex. You should be able to have
48:01
Speaker 1: sex with somebody. And do you want to, though? Do
48:07
Speaker 1: you want to not be emotionally attached to the person
48:09
Speaker 1: you're having sex with? No. To me, like, do men
48:12
Speaker 1: really want emotionalist pussy? Do you know what that feels like? Like,
48:17
Speaker 1: I'm going to be like, hey, nigga, what you about
48:19
Speaker 1: to do? You ain't even get to zip your pants.
48:21
Speaker 1: Matter of fact, don't take your pants out. Pants off.
48:24
Speaker 1: Take your dick out. The hole in the front. Because
48:26
Speaker 1: I need you to be able to get the fuck
48:28
Speaker 1: out of here as soon as we finish. Like, I
48:30
Speaker 1: don't know what type of woman that is. I don't
48:32
Speaker 1: know what type of man would want a woman like
48:34
Speaker 1: that either. Right. And grab your two paper towels on
48:36
Speaker 1: the way out. No, I definitely not sending it. Like,
48:40
Speaker 1: I have smutted a couple men in life. You know
48:43
Speaker 1: what I'm saying? Like, I remember I had this neighbor
48:46
Speaker 1: when I lived in Columbia giving me head all the time, bitch.
48:50
Speaker 1: And I wouldn't even let him wash his face. Because
48:53
Speaker 1: he lived right across the way with his bitch. Like,
48:55
Speaker 1: go on, get. Like, why?
48:58
Speaker 2: Might you take him home to his girlfriend with a
49:01
Speaker 2: glazed face?
49:02
Speaker 1: Yes. So now she going to smell that on your face.
49:06
Speaker 1: He don't deserve nobody. Damn whore. He's dirty. Damn, you
49:13
Speaker 1: ain't even going to let me wash my face? No.
49:16
Speaker 2: No.
49:18
Speaker 1: And I think, and they going. they want more. Like,
49:21
Speaker 1: men like to be smutted out. They ain't not gonna
49:23
Speaker 1: say that, but they like to be treated like that.
49:26
Speaker 1: Like a little dirty slut. All right, I have a
49:32
Speaker 1: challenge for y'all. You look crazy.
49:34
Speaker 2: All right, I want you to Y'all listening too, I
49:40
Speaker 2: want you to think of somebody you would love to
49:44
Speaker 2: have over your house as a guest. To be somebody famous,
49:47
Speaker 2: your favorite actor, your favorite musician, or someone you just
49:51
Speaker 2: really admire and that you would love to have them
49:55
Speaker 2: have dinner at your home.
49:58
Speaker 1: Kanye.
49:58
Speaker 2: Okay, so Kanye has accepted your invitation and you're having
50:05
Speaker 2: him for dinner. I want you to think about all
50:09
Speaker 2: the things you would do for your home. Would you
50:12
Speaker 2: clean it? Would you change the decor a little bit?
50:15
Speaker 2: Would you buy new candles to light? Would you cater
50:19
Speaker 2: a meal? Would you go get the best steak or
50:24
Speaker 2: the best piece of fish or lobster tail that you
50:28
Speaker 2: can find?
50:29
Speaker 1: The best wine, all those things. I want you to
50:32
Speaker 1: think about all those things that you would do. I'm
50:35
Speaker 1: definitely cleaning my house. I try to keep my house
50:38
Speaker 1: as clean as possible. But I probably would do a
50:40
Speaker 1: nice deep cleaning. Deep cleaning? You know, when you go
50:42
Speaker 1: in your bathroom and you get around the floorboards and
50:45
Speaker 1: shit like that. There's not no old ass hair. Nowhere.
50:48
Speaker 1: Out in the corner.
50:49
Speaker 3: Nowhere.
50:50
Speaker 1: Or some rust from the shower door. Like all of
50:52
Speaker 1: that shit. I like my bathrooms clean like a hotel.
50:55
Speaker 1: So I would probably do like a real deep cleaning.
50:58
Speaker 1: Maybe I might hire somebody to do it. That's why
50:59
Speaker 1: I'm going to hire somebody. I'm not doing it. Maybe
51:02
Speaker 1: I might hire somebody to do it. I'm cooking for sure.
51:05
Speaker 1: I'm not ordering out because one of my, one of
51:07
Speaker 1: the things that makes me happy outside of like money, food, uh,
51:13
Speaker 1: I like when people tell me my food tastes good.
51:15
Speaker 1: Like I like to serve people. I like to cook
51:18
Speaker 1: and I'll sit and wait for them to tell me.
51:20
Speaker 1: I see like you, you be smiling while somebody eat.
51:23
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's good, right? Like you ain't never taste
51:25
Speaker 1: this before. So I would love for Kanye to be like,
51:28
Speaker 1: God damn, this tastes so good. Be like wanting my
51:31
Speaker 1: food again. Um, um, Am I buying some extra shit
51:36
Speaker 1: in the house? Probably. Might do some home goods shopping, possibly. Yeah,
51:44
Speaker 1: that's about it.
51:45
Speaker 2: So everything that night you would make, what would be
51:47
Speaker 2: the meal?
51:49
Speaker 1: I probably would do a nice bronzini or a nice
51:53
Speaker 1: red snapper. I do a really good broiled red snapper
51:56
Speaker 1: full of vegetables with garlic and peppers and onions. I
52:02
Speaker 1: might do a little peas and rice. I might even
52:06
Speaker 1: do a little plantain. I might do like a little
52:07
Speaker 1: Jamaican little setup or something. I might do dessert. I
52:10
Speaker 1: make a blazing ass creme brulee.
52:12
Speaker 2: Okay.
52:15
Speaker 1: Would you have wine or champagne? Or cocktails? Or weed?
52:21
Speaker 1: Would you have any? I'm not joking like that. I'd
52:22
Speaker 1: probably just have some wine. Probably four. Some wine? Would
52:26
Speaker 1: you play music? Yeah. I would play music. You would
52:30
Speaker 1: play Kanye's music or would you play something else? I
52:34
Speaker 1: would probably play my old school playlist, like Ronna Isley. Listen,
52:38
Speaker 1: I'm not setting the mood to fuck Kanye. I want
52:40
Speaker 1: to talk about Gemini shit. No, no, no. Just create
52:43
Speaker 1: the vibe. Create the vibe. Yeah, yeah. I'm creating the
52:45
Speaker 1: vibe to talk about Gemini shit with Kanye. Would you
52:48
Speaker 1: make the room smell nice? What would you like? Would
52:50
Speaker 1: you like candles? Of course. I would definitely light some
52:53
Speaker 1: nice-ass candles. It's this company from Charleston called Floray? Flor-something. Flor-something.
53:03
Speaker 1: The candles are very expensive, but they're very, very nice, potent.
53:07
Speaker 1: I would probably invest in another one of those. Okay.
53:12
Speaker 1: $ 70 candles.
53:13
Speaker 2: So you've got your wine. You've got your nice branzino
53:17
Speaker 2: or snapper, your vegetables. You've got the music playing. You've
53:21
Speaker 2: got the smell in the room. But now I want
53:25
Speaker 2: you to realize that the guest that you're inviting over
53:30
Speaker 2: for this experience is yourself. So you're going to do
53:35
Speaker 2: all these things that you would do for this great
53:38
Speaker 2: person for your motherfucking self. You're going to make the branzino.
53:42
Speaker 2: You're going to clean the house. You're going to light
53:44
Speaker 2: the candles. You're going to get the wine. And you're
53:46
Speaker 2: going to do all of this for yourself. You're going
53:48
Speaker 2: to eat the meal, have the experience for you. After
53:51
Speaker 2: you finish having your Kanye experience for Ashley, I want
53:56
Speaker 2: you to go find a mirror in your home.
54:00
Speaker 1: A full mirror.
54:02
Speaker 2: And I want you to strip down Take everything off.
54:05
Speaker 2: Take off jewelry. Take off makeup. Take off clothes. And
54:11
Speaker 2: just be in the most barest essence of yourself. And
54:15
Speaker 2: then I want you to look at yourself in the mirror.
54:18
Speaker 2: And we often take time to criticize all the things
54:22
Speaker 2: that's wrong with our bodies. But instead of doing that,
54:26
Speaker 2: I want you to say all the things that you
54:29
Speaker 2: like about yourself.
54:31
Speaker 1: In that mirror to yourself.
54:33
Speaker 2: Everything that you find beautiful about yourself, say it to
54:37
Speaker 2: you in the mirror.
54:39
Speaker 1: What's the name of the book now? Because this is
54:41
Speaker 1: shadow work is what we're talking about. And I know
54:43
Speaker 1: I've mentioned like, y'all might laugh at me about how
54:48
Speaker 1: I be looking in the mirror and talking to myself
54:50
Speaker 1: because that is how you bring your future self into
54:55
Speaker 1: the present. Mm-hmm. So do that.
54:58
Speaker 2: Say all the nice things. And I want you to
55:00
Speaker 2: ignore any negative thought you hear about yourself because those
55:03
Speaker 2: thoughts will try to.
55:06
Speaker 1: Come to you. Don't let it.
55:08
Speaker 2: Say only good things to yourself. And after you're done
55:12
Speaker 2: telling yourself how amazing you are and all the ways
55:14
Speaker 2: that you're amazing, I want you to lay down and
55:18
Speaker 2: please yourself. And then as you're coming, I want you
55:25
Speaker 2: to speak out loud The things that you want for
55:29
Speaker 2: your life.
55:30
Speaker 1: Always. Yes. Always. But say it.
55:33
Speaker 2: In the present. Say it as I have it now.
55:36
Speaker 2: Not that I want this. I am this. I, you know,
55:41
Speaker 2: like that.
55:41
Speaker 1: I feel this. Feeling gets to blessing. Yes.
55:46
Speaker 2: So I challenge you all to do that. I'm going
55:48
Speaker 2: to do it this weekend. That's my plan for this weekend.
55:51
Speaker 1: You're going to make a date with yourself? Yes.
55:54
Speaker 2: Beyonce and Jay-Z were coming over, but it'll be me.
55:57
Speaker 2: And I'm just going to do all the things that
55:59
Speaker 2: I was going to do for them for myself. And yeah,
56:02
Speaker 2: so I challenge y'all, after you listen to this, to
56:04
Speaker 2: plan a date with yourself.
56:08
Speaker 1: But I want you to think about.
56:09
Speaker 2: This guest that you love, that you would like to impress,
56:12
Speaker 2: and think about what you would do for them first.
56:16
Speaker 1: And then do it for you. Absolutely. That's a great exercise. Amen.
56:22
Speaker 1: Here's to clitoris. Yeah, don't be wasting those orgasms. Like,
56:27
Speaker 1: that is magic. We be wasting the orgasms just. And
56:34
Speaker 1: that comes with age, too, understanding that. And maybe some
56:37
Speaker 1: people don't have to go through that transition in life
56:40
Speaker 1: where they realize how magical the female orgasm is. How magical.
56:47
Speaker 1: Our vagina is we ba-boom-boom bring life. Right. And it's
56:55
Speaker 1: not always about creating another human. It could be projects, right?
57:00
Speaker 1: That is your creative energy is all in your womb.
57:03
Speaker 1: So even if for women who don't have any kids,
57:06
Speaker 1: can't have any kids, don't want any kids, you can
57:09
Speaker 1: birth something else great. Right. What do you want? Birth it.
57:16
Speaker 1: You can't. That's my last last, girl. That was a
57:20
Speaker 1: great episode. Yes. Here's to the clitoris. What's it called? Clitorisy. Clitorisy. Yes.
57:33
Speaker 1: I'm here for it.
57:34
Speaker 2: And if y'all want to read the book, you know,
57:37
Speaker 2: check it out. It is called Pussy by... Is it.
57:42
Speaker 1: Spelled P-U-S-S-Y?
57:43
Speaker 2: Yes.
57:44
Speaker 1: How the fuck she get away with that? Is that
57:46
Speaker 1: a New York Times bestseller? It was.
57:49
Speaker 2: A Reclamation by Regina Tomashore. So, y'all check it out.
57:55
Speaker 1: Interesting. All right, y'all. Well, if y'all enjoyed this hot
57:59
Speaker 1: girl episode. Right. Y'all tune in every Thursday on the
58:04
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, wherever the fuck you get your podcasts at.
58:06
Speaker 1: This is your co-host AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram. Kick it, Tam.
58:12
Speaker 2: Y'all, it's official Tam Bam on Instagram. Follow We Talk
58:15
Speaker 2: Back Podcast on Instagram. Y'all, I love y'all so much.
58:18
Speaker 2: I really appreciate y'all. We've been doing this for a while,
58:20
Speaker 2: and y'all still fucking with us. I be reading the reviews.
58:22
Speaker 1: I appreciate y'all.
58:24
Speaker 2: Y'all, if y'all fuck with us for real, y'all need
58:27
Speaker 2: to get our Patreon. We be on there cutting up now.
58:30
Speaker 1: Come on now. Shout out to Jay. Hello, TT. We got, yeah.
58:33
Speaker 1: We got a couple of listeners on Patreon, but we
58:36
Speaker 1: need more. All right, y'all. So remember, speak now.
58:39
Speaker 2: And always hold your clit.
58:42
Speaker 1: Yeah. Make a cigarette. Just this. We Talk Back Podcast
58:50
Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
58:54
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.