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130. The Reality That's Here Now · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hello, welcome to the Impact Ready podcast.
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  Thank you guys for listening and for being here.
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  This episode is going to be about removing resistance and
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  friction so that you can have a bigger, better impact in your
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  life. Because that's really what the
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  show is all about, is about really learning how to have the
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  impact that we want to be able to live a life of freedom and
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  purpose, but also just enjoy our lives and feel some peace.
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  And know that we're building quality connections with people
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  and we have great relationships and we're excelling in our work
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  and we're feeling joyful and purposeful in our career.
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  It's really about all of that. All of that is our impact.
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  It's what we put out in the world.
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  It's the the energy that we broadcast out into the spaces
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  that we walk into. And I think the search and the
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  quest to have bigger and better impact is, is really what this
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  is all about. And so we have to look at the
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  reasons why people struggle with having impact.
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  And one of the biggest reasons that we experience struggle and
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  suffering is because we resist the reality that is in front of
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  us. We do we resist the reality
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  that's in front of us. We don't like to admit that
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  something is true or here. And so we sugarcoat things, or
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  we ignore it. We put our head in the sand, or
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  we tell a story about that reality that isn't necessarily
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  true, maybe a little skewed. We procrastinate on things.
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  We let things linger way longer than we should.
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  Or we beat ourselves up and we live in shame and guilt around
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  something that happened in the past.
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  Or we just straight up deny the reality that is in front of us.
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  And all of these ways of behaving are really for one
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  purpose, and that is to not have to deal with what is here now.
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  There are a lot of reasons we don't deal with what is here
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  now. A lot of it comes down to things
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  like fear. Fear of what might happen if we
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  do. Fear of conflict, which is
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  really about the fear of not being loved or seen as worthy.
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  Fear of our safety and our security being put at risk.
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  Fear of not being liked or perceived as the bad guy.
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  So a lot of it has to do with fear.
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  It also has to do with discomfort.
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  Discomfort is another huge reason we don't deal with our
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  reality. It's uncomfortable, we can admit
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  that. And comfort is perceived as
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  safety when it comes to our nervous system and also our ego.
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  So it makes sense why we would be resisting reality, why we're
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  not dealing with what is here now.
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  But the repercussions are so numerous when we don't deal with
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  the reality at hand. And I know that you felt this in
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  your life in the most simple of terms, not dealing with our
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  realities. It allows what I would refer to
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  as misalignment to continue to happen.
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  And misalignment can look and feel like a lot of different
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  ways. It can look like poor
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  communication between yourself and colleagues or yourself and
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  your spouse. It can look like resentment or
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  toxic energy or low frequency behavior, like, you know,
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  bitching and complaining and being judgmental or being
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  hypercritical. It could look like being in
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  problem energy all the time. Everything's a problem.
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  It's always about the things that are not going right in your
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  life or not going right in the job or the business or that with
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  the deadlines. It can look like slow progress
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  and slow growth. It can create more internal
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  issues in a home or workplace. It can just be a major roadblock
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  to progress and a huge sabotage to what you're trying to create
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  in your life. So while it might be
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  uncomfortable to look at the reality at hand and see what is
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  here now, we can also see that it's actually pretty crucial if
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  you want to get to a different place in your life.
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  It's crucial to having the impact that you want and to
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  being the creator, not just the reactor to your circumstances at
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  hand. Now here are some examples of
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  the realities that we might not like to look at so that you can
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  get a scope for how this could be showing up in your own life.
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  It might look like this. The reality is that my spouse
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  and I are not connecting in our marriage.
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  That happens all the time. We have to look at that reality.
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  The reality is this person in this job is overpaid for the
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  work that they're doing. The reality is there is hurt
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  that has happened on both sides of this relationship.
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  The reality is this person is not pulling their weight for the
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  position they're in. The reality is I keep getting
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  looked over for promotions time and time again.
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  The reality is this person has passed away and is not on this
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  earth anymore. The reality is they found breast
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  cancer in my body and there will be treatment.
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  The reality is my kids are growing up and I need to have
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  conversations or boundaries or connections with them.
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  The reality is we don't have the finances to live this lifestyle.
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  We have to adjust. The reality is I'm not sticking
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  to my exercise and nutrition plan.
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  The reality is I want 10 out of 10 energy, but I'm putting in
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  four out of 10 effort. The reality is I'm the only
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  person in my own way of getting what I want and team.
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  The list can go on and on. These are just a couple of
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  examples of real time realities that I've coached with clients
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  and real time realities that I've experienced in my own life.
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  They're stark truths at the heart of it.
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  They are just the stark truths that we need to accept and look
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  at with an honest lens so that we can see them as facts.
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  Now let's be clear about a distinction here.
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  When we look at the reality in front of us and accept it for
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  what it is, it doesn't mean that it stops there.
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  What we had to acknowledge is that the reality we face, it is
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  just data. It is just the facts.
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  And if you can look at the reality in front of you as being
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  neutral, just neutral, and understand that it's we as
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  humans, we are the ones that attach meaning to those
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  circumstances, that really helps us understand the distinction
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  between circumstances and perspective.
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  For example, if the reality is my spouse and I aren't
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  connecting in our marriage, that's just the data, that's the
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  facts. We could look at that as a
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  neutral situation and understand that the perspectives around
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  that circumstance. That data could be all over the
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  board. It could be the perspective is I
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  haven't been showing up, or they haven't been holding up their
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  end of the agreement, or we don't communicate well.
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  All of these perspectives are the feelings and thoughts that
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  we attach to these circumstances.
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  And we have to understand this distinction, the distinction
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  between the reality we face and our perspective that we attach
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  to it, the meaning we attach to it.
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  Our perspective is something that we can control and really
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  have control over. We might not have a lot of
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  control over the reality or the circumstances, and that's OK,
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  but we do have control over our perspective and the story that
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  we tell about it. That's the real distinction.
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  But the key here and the take away for this episode is that
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  when you accept the reality that is in front of you, it gives you
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  freedom because what it does is it gives you instant access to
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  solutions. When you accept a reality for
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  what it is and you look at it honestly, you take away all the
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  sugar coating and the storytelling and the avoidance
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  and the denial, and you truly see the reality for what it is
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  now you have a great jumping off point to get to solutions.
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  And this is very similar to Radical Ownership Team.
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  I know you've heard me talk about radical ownership so many
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  times. It's taking responsibility for
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  what is here now in your sphere, whether you ask for it or not,
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  and whether it's your fault or not.
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  If it is here now, we have to accept it when you can accept
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  the reality for what it is, no matter what it is.
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  Whether it's a person in your business who's not pulling their
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  weight in their role and things are slipping through the cracks,
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  or that somebody in your life has a drinking problem, or a
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  drug problem, or you haven't been sticking to your goals when
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  it comes to your health habits, or you haven't been showing up
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  in your marriage. At least now you have an honest
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  place to start finding solutions.
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  Instead of talking yourself into reasons why this person may or
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  may not be pulling their weight, or this person may or may not be
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  valuable in your business, or all the reasons that you're
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  frustrated with this person, just cut all that crap out for
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  just a second. Take your emotions and your
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  feelings out of it for a second and take an honest look at what
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  the reality is. Being able to practice this
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  skill is a huge sign of maturity and of extreme leadership, and
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  it will absolutely amplify your impact in your life and in your
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  community. It will also help you ditch some
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  of the mental gymnastics that we all go through that we all do
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  when we are in resistance to what is here now and getting
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  stuck in the struggle and the suffering as a result of that
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  resistance. So I hope this episode helped
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  you. My challenge to you this week is
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  to do a mental audit of where you might be resisting certain
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  realities in your life. I'll give you a hint.
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  It's usually the places that you feel friction or heaviness or
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  the things that you find yourself complaining about when
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  you come home after a long day. I know we all get caught up in
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  the storytelling and the justification of things.
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  We all get caught up in the resistance to reality.
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  But we all have the ability to practice acceptance and then we
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  get better access to the solutions and the freedom that
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  we all desire so much in our life.
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  So thank you for listening today.
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  I hope you have an awesome week. I hope you find freedom and let
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  go of some of that resistance in your life.
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  Thank you for being here and thank you for being ready to
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  impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
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  Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
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  you to own your impact and recognize that you.
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  Are powerful. By elevating our energy and
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  awareness, we can create exponential change in this life.
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  If you enjoyed today's insights, share them with a friend and
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  subscribe to the show. For more, I truly appreciate
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  you. Thanks again for being here.