Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What's the best way to get rid of a narcissist?

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What's the best way to get rid of a narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  Come here y'all, what is the best way to get rid of a
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  narcissist aided before y'all get the dark thoughts.
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  Don't start thinking those dark dark thoughts.
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  I know y'all thinking like Lee well hire a hit man like Ray
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  Williams Johnson be saying he hired a hit man.
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  No, not get rid of them that way.
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  I know it crossed your mind. I know it did.
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  We're not doing that. You're not doing that.
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  We're not crashing out as the young folks say nowadays, right?
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  We're not going to do that. No seriously, we're not going to
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  do that. But today this what we talking
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  about today? Today If you're new here, my
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  name is Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  I'll just give you an inner look at the bond of a narcissist.
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  This y'all. But yeah, how do you get rid of
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  a narcissist? How do you get how do you get
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  rid of those toxic narcissistic people?
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  How do you get them out of your life for good?
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  Again, No hit man none. I know you like will he please?
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  Just a just a little, just a little hit man.
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  Please get a little. No, not even a little one.
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  Not even a little one. Seriously, narcissistic people
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  are very, I think a lot of people think it's very hard to
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  get rid of narcissists, right? To get them out of your life for
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  good. So you don't have to cross paths
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  with them any longer, so you don't have to see them in public
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  any longer or whatever the case may be.
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  I understand that, right? Because a lot of times we get
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  into our minds that narcissists are this these type of, but you
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  can't hurt a narcissist or a narcissist or impermeable
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  people. They just have self like
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  narcissists are walking around with some force field on like
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  they cannot be hurt. Like we cannot be damaged in any
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  way. No, yeah, I'll say this right
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  here. The quickest, most efficient way
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  to get rid of a narcissist is to stop giving them whatever supply
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  or validation that you're giving them, that they are taking from
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  you, that they are getting from you, because you might not be
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  giving it to them willingly. Right?
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  When I say supply, I mean validation.
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  What type of validation is this person getting from you?
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  That's one question you have to ask yourself.
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  What type of validation am I supplying this person is this
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  person getting from me? Because we all know that
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  narcissists have trouble. Yeah, we have huge problems.
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  We're externally validating ourselves.
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  We it's very difficult for narcissists to externally
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  validate. Right.
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  So with that being said, it's hard as hell.
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  We can't. Yeah, we cannot.
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  We can't do it. It's difficult like so we need a
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  source of supply. We need a constant source.
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  We need a power source. You are the narcissist power
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  source. Y'all see my what am I holding
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  on to today? What what?
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  What is my mic on? It's on a USBC cable.
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  This is my little running gag now, y'all.
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  I got to make this stuff fun for myself, y'all.
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  I didn't say the word narcissist over the last five years,
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  probably 100,000 times. I probably say the word
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  narcissist 100,000 times, y'all, it's crazy.
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  So I got, I got to keep moving forward.
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  But yeah, narcissistic people like are always seeking some
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  type of external validation, are always seeking some type of
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  supply. So in order to get rid of them,
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  they have to not, they have to not be getting anything from
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  you. You see what I'm saying?
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  They have to not be receiving or getting anything from you in any
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  way, shape or form. That's the simplest way to put
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  it. They cannot be getting supply
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  from you. They cannot be getting some type
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  of validation from you. They cannot be receiving that.
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  So you have to be able to cut this person off in some way,
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  shape or form. You have to be able to do that.
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  I know it sounds, it sounds more difficult than it is sometimes,
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  right? But you can cut them off.
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  You absolutely can. You have the power to do that.
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  You, once you figure out what you have going on and whatnot,
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  once you figure out what they're getting from you, then you can
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  cut it off. You have the ability to cut it
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  off, especially if it's money, right?
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  If they're, if they're the validation that they're getting
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  from you is some type of financial stuff, you can slowly
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  wean them off. I know sometimes it's difficult,
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  but if the narcissist in your life is somebody that you have
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  to take care of or whatever, I know it's difficult, I know, but
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  it has to be done. You have to take away whatever
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  supply that you're giving getting from them or they're
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  giving or they're getting from you and typically they get
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  bored. You have to bore them, right?
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  Whatever supply that they're getting from you, you have to
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  take it away. And an easy way to take the
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  sometimes the supply that they're getting from you is some
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  type of emotional supply, right? They're just come some type of
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  emotional supply where they they are worried about gauging your
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  reactions, how you're going to react to certain things, how you
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  are reacting to certain things. A lot of them see, get it based
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  on that right there. They're getting some type of
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  supply from the way that you react to them.
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  This is why. Seriously, This is why I'm big
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  on telling people to control your reactions.
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  If you're dealing with a narcissist or a toxic person,
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  I'm big on controlling your Dang on reactions.
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  Because you have to. You have to be in control of
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  your reactions, y'all? You absolutely have to.
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  If you're not in control of your reactions, you're going to lose
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  10 out of 10 times. You just are because they're
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  going to use your reactions against you.
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  And your reactions sometimes are fueling the narcissist, your
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  reaction sometimes, or absolutely fueling this
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  narcissistic person in order to keep them doing what they doing.
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  Like in order to keep them around, they're getting some
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  type of fuel from you. So you have to take the fuel
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  away. But sometimes you can wait.
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  How the hell we take the fuel away?
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  What the hell do we need to do? You can look up the term Gray
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  rocking, right? Grey rocking is typically just,
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  it really is. Simply put, you have to become
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  like a grey rock, you know what I'm saying?
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  You have to be born and remove your emotional reactions to that
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  narcissistic person because sometimes the supply that
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  they're getting from you is literally your emotional
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  reaction. They just feel like they're
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  still in control of you because you're reacting to them, right?
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  This can be done in the Co parent.
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  Yeah, this happens a lot of time in the Co parenting arena when
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  you're trying to Co parent with them and there's doing and
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  saying all kinds of crazy ass stuff to you.
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  It can be very difficult, especially when your kids are
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  involved. They're just like Lee I.
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  It's hard lately. It's hard not to say nothing.
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  It is like that is hard. It's hard when they're just
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  chastising. It's hard not to say something.
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  But I get that y'all. But sometimes you got to look.
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  You got you're you're you're winning the you're losing the
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  battles. Sometimes the battles you feel
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  like you're losing to win the war overall, whatever the war
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  and battle looks like for you, that's what you're saying.
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  I looked up grey rock and I've never done that before.
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  It says making all interactions with them as uninteresting as
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  and unrewarded as possible. So pretty much giving short,
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  straightforward answers to questions.
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  You don't have to give them like deep penetrating answers.
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  You don't have to give them, you know what I'm saying?
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  You can hide your emotional reactions to the stuff that
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  they're doing because sometimes they just want to know it
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  affects you. But I'll tell you about grey
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  rocking. It's for short term use only.
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  Like you're not supposed to be Gray rocking somebody for four
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  years, 'cause they'll make you do that'll make you go crazy out
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  because you're stifling at that point.
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  You stifling a lot of yourself right there, right?
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  A lot of you are stifling yourself at that point because
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  of how things are, how things have went, how things are going
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  to go. A lot of you are absolutely
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  stifling yourself. So you don't want to stifle
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  yourself, y'all. You really do not want to stifle
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  yourself. So I'll say this as well.
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  You have to remove the supply. But also sometimes, y'all, you
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  want to get rid of a narcissist, ghost them, go no contact with
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  them. Yeah, yeah, 'cause something
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  like, look, now does this work 100% of the time?
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  Yeah. None of this stuff is going to
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  work 100% of the time, right? But the most effective,
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  efficient way to go to get rid of a narcissist without hiring a
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  hit man is literally to ghost them or just go no contact with
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  them as safely as possible, right?
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  Because most times when you go somebody they are, they
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  automatically don't think you have somebody else.
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  That's the mind of a narcissist. You're not talking to me.
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  You must have someone else. Somebody else must be clapping
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  them cheeks. So you must be clapping somebody
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  else's cheeks. What is going on here?
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  Duh, duh, duh. Some of them.
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  That's the most efficient way is to literally be like literally
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  do that. Do that right there.
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  You really have to do it just like that.
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  You know going no contact with them can drive them crazy,
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  right? But you have to stay no contact
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  with them. Going no contact with them and
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  consistently breaking. It just teaches them that sooner
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  or later, all they all they have to do is apply a little pressure
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  to you and your crack. They have to give you a little
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  bit of pressure and you'll give in to whatever they ask you to
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  do. This happens.
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  This happens to so many people. So it's just like as you're
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  moving forward, this was like, you have to be in control of
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  your reactions. Meditate, goose, Fraba, whatever
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  it takes in these situations for you to do, do it because at the
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  end of the day, it's going to help you out in the long run.
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  Do you think that narcissistic person is out here trying to
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  help you, looking to help you? No, Typically narcissists are
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  trying to help themselves in some way, shape or form.
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  They're typically looking out for themselves and or trying to
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  find better ways to look out for themselves.
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  This is typically how it goes. So as you're moving forward, as
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  you're trying to win, as you're trying to thrive and grow, just
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  understand that this person right here is looking out for
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  their own best interest. So in order to get rid of them,
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  you look out for yours, you look out for your best interest.
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  Like as soon as you start putting yourself first,
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  typically narcissist will start to disconnect from you.
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  Now you notice I said, you notice I didn't say get rid of
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  you. I said disconnect from you.
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  Because as soon as you start standing up for yourself and you
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  become boring to them and they're no longer getting
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  supply, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're going to leave
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  you, right? So sometimes even if you start
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  doing all of that, sometimes they still might not leave you
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  because they'll get some type of crazy asses.
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  He was like I went to church and God told me.
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  This guy said yeah you mean. But sometimes they still might
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  not believe you. That's why you have to stay
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  strong throughout the process in order to show them.
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  You can tell them all you want to, but y'all know showing is
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  always going to be better in these situations.
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  Showing them is it's better than tell.
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  I can show better than I tell and do what people say I show
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  better than I tell. So you need to show better than
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  you tell because like I said, you don't we.
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  If you decide to go no contact with them, you don't necessarily
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  have to tell them now because you always want to prioritize
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  your safety 1st and your kids safety or whatever the case may
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  be. But you always want to
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  prioritize your safety first because I'm guarantee you
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  narcissistic people are prioritizing theirs.
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  They're looking out for themselves.
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  They're trying to find ways to justify their own behaviors and
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  their own actions and to do things that they feel like they
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  can get away with or they should get away with.
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  So that's something big you have to think about right there,
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  Y'all? It really, really is because you
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  want to get rid of them. Sometimes you expose them,
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  right? You know, going no contact
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  wouldn't help, but sometimes you can expose them.
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  Like as soon as you like, you can really literally expose that
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  narcissistic person because expose them typically they go
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  away. Again, use discretion.
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  User discretion is advice. Use discretion when you're
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  exposing A narcissist because you know that once you expose
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  them, some of them will absolutely lose their minds
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  because they're so worried about what other people think.
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  They get hyper fixated on what other people think.
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  So they always, you know, in in the public eye, you see it.
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  They always trying to shame you. They always trying to say
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  negative things about you. They always trying to say that
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  they don't miss you while simultaneously in your inbox
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  asking you kind of questions, trying to sleep with you,
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  whatever the case may be. This be happening.
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  This be happening in a lot. Yeah.
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  So there's something you just something for y'all to consider
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  as you moving forward. It really, really is.
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  Yeah. So y'all tune into this episode
• 11:15
  about getting rid of a narcissist.
• 11:16
  Like are there ways that I missed?
• 11:20
  Drop in the comment section, leave your thoughts in the
• 11:21
  comment section. And also if y'all, if you don't
• 11:23
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• 11:27
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• 11:51
  Anyway, y'all hit the subscribe button and I am out.
• 11:54
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• 12:15
  later. Peace.