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Mastering Speaking in Flow with Melinda Lee · Speak In Flow

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  Melinda Lee: Welcome to a Speak In Flow Podcast episode, I am
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  thrilled you're here, because this topic is near and dear to
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  my heart, mastering and being successful at flow. Now what is
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  flow anyways, flow is when your potential is skyrocketing,
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  because you're so immersed in the present moment, there's no
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  inner critic, there's no doubt they're gone. And you're just
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  focused, you're here in the moment you're doing or whatever
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  it is that you're doing, whether you're playing an instrument, or
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  you are an athlete out on the court, throwing a basketball or
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  whether you're a speaker, you are focused on the moment,
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  there's nothing blocking you and you're immersed in the
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  situation, your hand gestures, your body language, your words,
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  naturally flow out, everything's in flow your movements. And
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  that's when the opportunities come to you. That's when success
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  comes to you. And, and abundance prosperity. And, and there's
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  three phases, there's no way around it, to get into flow. And
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  that's what I'm going to talk about today. And the three
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  phases are awkward, release, and then flow. Awkward is that the
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  struggle, it's, it's that moment, when we don't know what
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  we're doing, we're so overwhelmed, everything is new,
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  brand new, then you move into release releases, when you may
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  know the steps, you may know the process of whatever it is that
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  you're doing. But you're still thinking about it, you're still
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  wondering whether you can do it or not. And then finally, flow,
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  you're in the mastery, you're in success, you know, you got this
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  and it's just natural to you. So we want to speed up your process
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  to get from awkward to flow. By understanding these three
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  phases. I'm gonna break down each, the first one is awkward.
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  It's that struggle, it's that place that we don't like to be
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  in and we want to get out of there as soon as possible. It's
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  when you're starting something new. Everything is overwhelming.
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  I remember when I first started in my job, and when I was 1716
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  years old, I was working at a prime rib restaurant. And in
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  this restaurant, there was a lot going on, right? You have to
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  talk to the people at the table, then you have to take their
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  order. And then you have to go back to the ticket and give it
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  the salad ready and get the mashed potatoes. And it was so
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  overwhelming. To me. It was a struggle. I didn't like to talk
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  to the people at first. And then I didn't know where to go. I
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  didn't know where to put the ticket. I didn't know where to
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  get the salad. So it was just a lot. It was awkward. I was
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  uncomfortable. Right? Have you ever felt that when you have
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  just started something new, and you can start to feel
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  embarrassed because if you don't know what you're doing, people
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  are seeing you and then you start to feel some shame. Gosh,
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  so it's the same way. Same thing can happen when we're speaking,
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  when we are delivering a presentation. We are feeling
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  overwhelmed, because we're not certain about our what's going
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  to happen. We're not certain about our performance. Now we're
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  not certain about what's going to if we're going to say all the
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  right bullet points. And so there's just too much, right. So
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  how can we speed through this awkward face to go into the next
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  phase, which is relief. You're not in flow yet, but you're in
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  release. So in release, you may know what the process is. So for
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  example, in my restaurant example, after about a month, I
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  started to then know where to how to greet the customers, you
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  know, I was starting to get more comfortable greeting them. I
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  knew where to put the ticket to put in the order. I knew how to
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  get the salad. But I may in your mind, forget something. I may
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  think okay, did I do this right? And I'm so I'm thinking about
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  what I am doing. So it's still mechanical. It's not very
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  natural. You might look at someone. Have you ever seen
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  someone who is on the dance floor, they're they're doing the
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  right moves, but they're mechanical, they're not really
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  going to the beat so they know the moves, but it doesn't look
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  natural. As a speaker, you may know what you're going to say.
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  But it doesn't seem natural. You may have your talking points.
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  And you may have even memorised your script. But it does not
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  seem natural. You seem like a robot. And that is the release
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  phase. So you're starting to get to the place where you're not
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  completely overwhelmed and debilitated. But at the same
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  time, you're starting to release some of the fear some of the
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  doubt and starting to move into more mechanical I know the steps
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  I know the process but still overthinking it still not
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  completely certain whether I can do it or not. And the key to
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  getting out of this phase from really If releasing doubt, and
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  releasing being mechanical into flow is, is repetition, and
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  consistency, keeping yourself doing what you're meant to do.
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  And I'm going to share with you something, it is not when it
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  comes to speaking not about repeating your script, you're
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  gonna start to get to a point where you are in flow with your
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  words. When I was at the restaurant, I started to just
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  know where to go what to do with the customers, I just, I started
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  to see where to put the ticket and see everything, I started to
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  see how I interacted with the other waiters, and how I
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  interacted with all the different tables that I was
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  supporting, and how to multitask. Right. So I was
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  seeing a bigger picture how to solve problems in the moment,
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  even if things were ambiguous. And so that is what flow is
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  because you're not focused. And you're releasing the mechanical,
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  the process the steps, you are able to move into flow, and do
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  some problem solving when things are chaotic, and things are
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  uncertain. And so when you are in the release phase, and still
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  going through the mechanics of your talk, right? Thinking about
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  what am I going to say, it's going to be difficult for you to
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  move into flow. And that's what most people are stuck in. That's
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  where most people, they get into the habit of writing out their
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  entire script and memorising it word for word. And then, and
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  then they then they think that okay, I'm gonna memorise it word
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  for word, then I'll finally get into flow. The truth of the
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  matter is, if you have this as a habit, you're really not in
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  flow, because I want you to start trusting your words. That
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  is true flow. When you can move into the place of mastering,
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  I've got this, I know, even if I don't have all my script, or if
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  I don't know all the words, I know my bullet points and I can
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  run and go with it, I can be the moment solve problems, step into
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  the ambiguity, step into the uncomfortable in this and
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  embrace, not knowing, and continually continuing to do
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  that over and over again. And most of us, don't give us the
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  opportunity and the Yeah, the experience of trusting
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  ourselves. And so we are stuck in the mechanical the release,
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  still releasing trying to release the script, but we will
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  never let go of it. Or many of my clients are like, I'm so
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  afraid if I don't have my script, I want to blank out I
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  don't know what to say. And I created so many beautiful words
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  in my PowerPoint, and they're not going to come out. So when
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  you are holding on to in this phase, and not finally stepping
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  into flow, which does mean to step into to embracing the
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  unknown, having your bullets, embracing the uncertainty,
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  trusting that your words will flow out. And of course, in the
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  beginning, it will be uncomfortable. Of course, in the
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  beginning, you may stumble on your words, but eventually
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  you're going to get to the point where I've got this, I know my
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  words, I know the content, I'm the expert, and stepping into
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  that place of the unknown and still trusting that you can
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  problem solve at the same time. That is when you've mastered
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  flow. That is when you are in the moment focused on your
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  audience. Focus on connecting with the audience, inspiring
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  them moving your initiatives, because you can sense what they
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  want what you need. And then you problem solve, and you
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  collaborate and you communicate in a way that inspires people
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  and is aspirational. So those are the three steps to moving
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  into flow. Yes, of course, it's going to be awkward, awkward
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  that you have to let go of the script, awkward that you have to
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  just trust your bullet. And it's going to seem a little bit
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  mechanical, you're going to have to release some of the doubt
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  that you can't do this. But as you continue to repeat and get
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  some feedback, you're going to start to get to the place of
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  flow. And being able to speak on the cusp without your script.
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  Trusting that you can embrace uncertainty problem solve,
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  because you're so focused in the moment you're so focused on your
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  clients, your audience, and the connection that you have with
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  them.
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  And I hope that you take this process and embrace it and use
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  it for your next opportunity whether it's speaking or even
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  just mastering a new skill, something that you've embraced
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  whether it's learning how to ride a horse, whether it's
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  learning how to cook, those are the three steps to moving from
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  awkward Released and into flow and success until I see you
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  again I'm your sister in flow love you take care