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15 - The Flying Inn - GK Chesterton · Science Fiction Books - Daily

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Chapter fifteen, The Songs of the Car Club more than once.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: As the car flew through black and silver fairy lands
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: of fir wood and pine wood, Dalroy put his head
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: out of the side window and remonstrated with the chauffeur
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: without effect. He was reduced at last to asking him
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: where he was going. I'm goun home, said the driver
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: in an undecipherable voice. I'm a goin ome to my
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: mar And where does she live, asked Dalroy, with something
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: more like diffidence than he had ever shown before in
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: his life. Wiles, said the man. But I ain't seen
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: her since I was born. But she'll do. You must realize,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: said Dalroy, with difficulty, that you may be arrested. It's
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: the man's own car, and he's left behind with nothing
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: to eat, so to speak. He's got his donkey, grunted
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: the man. Let the stinker eat a donkey with thistle sauce.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: He would if he was as oll oh as I was.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Humphrey Pump opened the glass window that separated him from
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: the rear part of the car and turned to speak
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: to his friend over his square elbow and shoulder. I'm afraid,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: he said, he won't stop for anything. Just yet, he's
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: as mad as Moody's aunt. As they say, do they
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: say it? Asked the captain, with a sort of anxiety.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: They never said it in Ithaca. Honestly, I think you'd
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: better leave him alone, answered Pump with his sagacious face.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: He'd just run us into a Scotch express like Dandy
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Mutton did when they said he was driving carelessly. We
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: can send the car back to Ivywood somehow later on.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: And really, I don't think it'll do the gentleman any
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: harm to spend a night with a donkey. The donkey
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: might teach him something. I tell you. It's true he
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: denied the principle of private property, said Dolroy reflectively. But
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I fancy he was thinking of a plain house fixed
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: on the ground, a house on wheels such as this,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: he might perhaps think a more permanent possession, But I
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: never understood it. And again he passed a weary palm
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: across his open forehead. Have you ever noticed, Hump, what
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: is really odd about those people? The car shot on
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: amid the comfortable silence of Pump, and then the Irishman
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: said again that poet in the pussycat clothes wasn't half bad.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Lord Ivywood isn't cruel, but he's inhuman. But that man
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: wasn't inhuman. He was ignorant, like most cultured fellows. But
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: what's odd about them is that they try to be
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: simple and never clear away a single thing that's complicated.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: If they have to choose between beef and pickles, they
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: always abolished the beef. If they have to choose between
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: a meadow and a motor, they forbid the meadow. Shall
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I tell you the secret? These men only surrender the
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: things that bind them to other men. Go and dine
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: with the temperance Millionaire, and you won't find he's abolished
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: the Oar di'rv, or the five courses, or even the coffee.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: What he's abolished is the port and sherry, because poor
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: men like that as well as rich. Go a step
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: farther and you won't find he's abolished the fine silver
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: forks and spoons. But he's abolished the meat, because poor
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: men like meat when they can get it. Go a
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: step farther and you won't find he goes without gardens
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: or gorgeous rooms, which poor men can't enjoy at all,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: But you will find he boasts of early rising, because
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: sleep is a thing poor men can still enjoy, about
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: the only thing they can still enjoy. Nobody ever heard
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: of a modern philanthropist giving up petrol, or typewriting or
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: troops of servants. No, no, what he gives up must
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: be some simple and universal thing. He will give up
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: beef or beer or sleep, because these pleasures remind him
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: that he is only a man. Humphrey Pump nodded but
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: still answered nothing, And the voice of the sprawling Delroy
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: took one of its upward turns, of a sort of
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: soaring flippancy which commonly embodied itself in remembering some song
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: he had composed. Such, he said, was the case of
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: the late mister Mandragon, so long popular in English aristocratic
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: society as a bluff and simple democrat from the West,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: until he was unfortunately sand bagged by six men whose
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: wives he had had shot by private detectives on his
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: incautiously landing on American soil. Mister Mandragon, the millionaire. He
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: wouldn't have wine or wife. He couldn't endure complexity. He
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: lived this simple life. He ordered his lunch by megaphone
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: in manly simple tones, and used all his motors for canvassing, voter,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: and twenty telephones, besides a dandy little machine, cunning and
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: neat as ever was seen, with a hundred pulleys and
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: cranks between made of iron and kept quite clean, to
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: hoist him out of his healthful bed on every day
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: of his life, and wash him, and brusham and shave
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: him and dress him to live the simple life. Mister
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Mandragon was most refined and quietly, neatly dressed. Say all
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: the American newspapers that no refinement best, quiet and neat
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: the hair and hat, and the coat, quiet and neat,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: a trouser worn upon either leg, while boots adorned the feet,
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: and not, as any one might expect, a tiger skin
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: all striped and specked, and a peacock hat with the
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: tail erect. A scarlet tunic with sunflowers decked that might
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: have had a more marked effect and pleased the pride
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: of a weaker man that yearned for wine or wife.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: But fame and the flagon for mister Mandragon obscured the
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: simple lifeife. Mister Mandragon, the millionaire I am happy to say,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: is dead. He enjoyed a quiet funeral in a crematorium shed,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: and he lies there, fluffy and soft and gray, and
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: certainly quite refined, when he might have rotted to flowers
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: and fruit with Adam and all mankind, or been eaten
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: by bears that fancy blood, or burnt on a big
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: tall tower of wood in a towering flame, as a
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: heathen should, or even sat with us here at food,
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: merely taking tupenny rum and cheese with a pocket knife.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: But these were luxuries lost for him that lived for
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: the simple life. Mister Pump had made many attempts to
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: arrest this song, but they were as vain as all
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: attempts to arrest the car. The angry chauffeur seemed indeed
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: rather inspired to further energy by the violent vocal noises behind,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: and Pump again found it best to fall back on conversation. Well, Captain,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: he said, amicably, I can't quite agree with you about
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: those things. Of course, you can trust foreigners too much,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: as poor Thompson did, but then you can go too
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: far the other way. Aunt Sarah lost a thousand pounds
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: that way. I told her again and again he wasn't
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: a nigger, but she wouldn't believe me. And of course
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: that was just the kind of thing to offend an
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: ambassador if he was an Austrian. It seems to me, Captain,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: you aren't quite fair to these foreign chaps. Take these Americans, now,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: there were many Americans went by Pebblewick, you may suppose,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: But in all the lot, there was never a bad lot,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: never a nasty American, nor a stupid American, nor well,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: never an American that I didn't rather like, I know,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: said Dolroy. You mean there was never an American who
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: did not appreciate the old ship. I suppose I do
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: mean that, answered the innkeeper. And somehow I feel the
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: old ship might appreciate the American too. You English are
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: an extraordinary lot, said the Irishmen. With the sudden and
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: somber quietude, I sometimes feel you may pull through after all.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: After another silence, he said, You're always right, Hump, And
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: one oughtn't to think of Yankees like that. The rich
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: are the scum of the yearth in every country, and
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: a vast proportion of the real Americans are among the
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: most courteous, intelligent, self respecting people in the world. Some
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: attribute this to the fact that a vast proportion of
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: the real Americans are Irishmen. Pump was still silent, and
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: the Captain resumed in a moment. All the same, he said,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: is very hard for a man, especially a man of
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: a small country like me, to understand how it must
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: feel to be an American, especially in the matter of nationality.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't like to have to write the American national anthem,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: but fortunately there is no great probability of the commission
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: being given. The shameful secret of my inability to write
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: an American patriotic song is one that will die with me. Well,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: what about an English one, said Pump sturdily. You might
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: do worse, Captain English, You bloody tyrant, said Patrick, indignantly.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I could no more fancy a song by an Englishman
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: than you could won by that dog. Mister Humphrey Pump
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: gravely took the paper from his pocket on which he
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: had previously inscribed the Sin and Desolation of Grocers, and
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: felt in need of another of his innumerable pockets for
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: a pencil. Hello, cried Dolroy, are you going to have
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: a shy at the ballad of Coodle? Cudle lifted his
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: ears at his name. Mister Pump smiled a slight and
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: embarrassed smile. He was secretly proud of Delroy's admiration for
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: his previous literary attempts, and he had some natural knack
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: for verse as a game, as he had for all games,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: and his reading, though desultry, had not been merely rustic
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: or low on condition. He said deprecatingly, that you write
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: a song for the English. Oh, very well, said Patrick,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: with a huge sigh that really indicated the very opposite
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: of reluctance. We must do something till the thing stops,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I suppose, and this seems a blameless parlor game. Songs
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: of the car Club sounds quite aristocratic. And he began
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: to make marks with a pencil on the fly leaf
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: of a little book he had in his pocket, Wilson's
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Knocked Ambrosian. Every now and then, however, he looked up
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: and delayed his own composition by watching Pump and the Dog,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: whose proceedings amused him very much, For the owner of
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: the old ship sat sucking his pencil and looking at
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: mister Koodle with eyes of fathomless attention. Every now and
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: then he slightly scratched his brown hair with the pencil
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: and wrote down a word, and the dog Koodle, with
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: that curious canine power of either understanding or most brazenly
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: pretending to understand what is going on, sat erect with
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: his head at an angle, as if he were sitting
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: for his portrait. Hence it happened that though Pump's poem
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: was a little long, as are often the poems of
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: inexperienced poets, and though Delroy's poem was very short, being
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: much hurried toward the end, the long poem was finished
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: some time before the short one. Therefore it was that
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: there was first produced for the world the song more
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: familiarly known as No Noses, or more correctly called the
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Song of Koodle. Part of it ran eventually. Thus, they
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: haven't got no noses, the fallen sons of Eve. Even
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: the smell of roses is not what they supposes. But
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: more than mind discloses, and more than men believe, they
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: haven't got no noses. They cannot even tell when door
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: and darkness closes, the park a jew encloses, where even
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: the law of Moses will let you steal a smell.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: The brilliant smell of water, the brave smell of a stone,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: the smell of dew and thunder, and old bones buried
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: under are things in which they blunder and air if
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: left alone, the wind from winter forests, the scent of
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: scentless flowers, the breath of bride's adorning, the smell of
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: snare and warning, the smell of Sunday morning God gave
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: to us for hours and Quoodle here discloses all things
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: that kuodle can They haven't got no noses. They haven't
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: got no noses, and goodness only noses the noselessness of man.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: This poem also shows traces of haste in its termination,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: and the present editor, who has no aim save truth,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: is bound to confess that parts of it were supplied
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: in the criticisms of the captain, and even enriched in
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: later and livelier circumstances by the poet of the birds himself.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: At the actual moment, the chief features of this realistic
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: song about dogs was a crashing chorus of Bow Wow Wow,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: begun by mister Patrick Delroy, but immediately imitated much more
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: successfully by mister Koodle. In the face of all this,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Dolroy suffered some real difficulty in fulfilling the bargain by
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: reading out his much shorter poem about what he imagined
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: an Englishman might feel. Indeed, there was something very rough
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: and vague in his very voice as he read it
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: out as of one who had not found the key
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: to his problem. The present compiler, who has no aim
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: save truth, must confess that the verses ran as follows.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Saint George, he was for England, and before he killed
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: the dragon, he drank a pint of English ale out
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: of an English flagon. For though he fast right readily
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: in hair, shirt or in mail, it isn't safe to
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: give him cakes unless you give him ale. Saint George,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: he was for England, and right gallantly set free the
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: lady left for dragon's meat and tied up to a tree.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: But since he stood for England and knew what England means,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: unless you give him bacon, you mustn't give him beans.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Saint George, he was for England, and shall wear the
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: shield he wore when we go out in armor with
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: the battle cross before. But though he is jolly company
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: and very pleased to dine, it isn't safe to give
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: him nuts unless you give him wine. Very philosophical song,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: that said Dowry, shaking his head solemnly full of deep thought.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: I really think that is about the truth of the matter.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: In the case of the Englishman. Your enemies say you're stupid,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: and you boast of being illogical, which is about the
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: only thing you do that really is stupid, as if
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: anybody ever made an empire or anything else by saying
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: that two and two make five, or as if any
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: one was ever the stronger for not understanding anything if
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: it were only tip cat or chemistry. But this is
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: true about you, Hump. You English are supremely an artistic people,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: and therefore you go by associations. As I said in
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: my song, you won't have one thing with the the
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: other thing that goes with it. And as you can't
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: imagine a village without a squire in parson, or a
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: college without port and old Oak. You get the reputation
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: of a conservative people. But it's because you're sensitive, Hump,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: not because you're stupid that you won't part with things.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: It's lies, lies and flattery, they tell you, Hump, when
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: they tell you you're fond of compromise, I tell ye, Hump,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: every real revolution is a compromise. Gee think Wolf Tone
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: or Charles Stuart Parnell never compromised. But it's just because
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: you're afraid of a compromise that you won't have a revolution.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: If you really overhauled the old ship or Oxford, you'd
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: have to make up your mind what to take and
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: what to leave, and it would break your heart. Humphrey Pump,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: he stared in front of him with a red and
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: ruminant face, and at length added, somewhat more gloomily. This
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: esthetic way we have Pump has only two little disadvantages,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: which I will now explain to you. The first is
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: exactly what has sent us flying in this contraption. When
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: the beautiful, smooth, harmonious thing you've made is worked by
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: a new type and a new spirit, then I tell
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: you it would be better for you a thousand times
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: to be living under the thousand paper constitutions of Condorcet
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: and Siez. When the English oligarchy is run by an
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Englishman who hasn't got an English mind, then you have
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Lord Ivywood and all this nightmare of which God could
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: only guess the end. The car had beaten some roods
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: of dust behind it, and he ended still more darkly.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: And the other disadvantage, my amiable Asteete, is this, if ever,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: in blundering about the planet, you come on an island
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: in the Atlantic Atlantis, let us say, which won't accept
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: all your pretty picture, to which you can't give everything,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Why you will probably decide to give nothing. You will
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: say in your hearts. Perhaps they will starve soon, and
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: you will become for that island, and the deafest and
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: the most evil of all the princes of the earth.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: It was already daybreak, and Pump, who knew the English boundaries,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: almost by intuition, could tell even through the twilight that
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: the tale of the little town they were leaving behind
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: was of a new sort, the sort to be seen
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: in the western border. The chauffeur's phrase about his mother
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: might merely have been a music called joke, but certainly
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: he had driven darkly in that direction. White morning lay
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: about the gray, stony streets like spilt milk. A few
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: proletarian early risers, wearier at morning than most men at night,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: seemed merely of opinion that it was no use crying
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: over it. The two or three last houses, which looked
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: almost too tired to stand upright, seemed to have moved
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: the captain into another sleepy explosion. There are two kinds
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: of idealists, as everybody knows or must have thought of.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: There are those who idealize the real, and those who
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: precious seldom realize the ideal. Artists and poetical people, like
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: the English, generally idealized the real. This I have expressed
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: in a song which no really protested. The innkeeper really
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: now captain. This I have expressed in a song repeated Delroy,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: in a very adamantine manner, which I will now sing
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: with every circumstance of leisure, loudness, or any other. He
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: stopped because the flying universe seemed to stop. Charging head
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: rows came to a halt, as if challenged by the bugle.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: The racing forests stood rigid, The last few tottering houses
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: stood suddenly at attention. For a noise like a pistol
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: shot from the car itself had stopped all that race,
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: as a pistol shot might start any other. The driver
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: clambered out very slowly, and stood about in various tragic
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: attitudes around the car. He opened an unsuspected number of
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: doors and windows in the car, and touched things, and
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: twisted things and felt things. I must back as best
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I can to that their garage, sir, he said, in
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: a heavy and husky tone. They had not heard from
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: him before. Then He looked round on the long woods
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: and the last houses, and seemed to gnaw his lip
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: like a great general who has made a great mistake.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: His brow seemed as black as ever, yet his voice,
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: when he spoke again, had fallen many further degrees towards
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: its dull and daily tone. Yer See, this is a
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: bit bad, he said. It'll be a beastly job, even
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: at the best place, as if I'm getting back at all,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: getting back, repeated Delroy, opening the blue eyes of a
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: bowl back where well, yer See, said the chauffeur reasonably,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I was bloody keen to show em. It was me
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: drove the car, and not im. By a bit of
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: bad luck, I'd done damage to his car. Well, if
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: you can stick in his car, Captain Patrick. Delroy sprang
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: out of the car so rapidly that he almost reeled
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: and slipped upon the road. The dog's sprang after him,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: barking furiously. Humph said Patrick quietly, I've found out everything
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: about you. I know what always bothered me about the Englishman. Then,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: after an instant's silence, he said that Frenchman was right,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: who said, I forget how he put it, that you
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: marched to Trafalgar square, to rid yourself of your temper,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: not to rid yourself of your tyrant. Our friend was
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: quite ready to rebel. Rushing away to rebel. Sitting still
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: was too much for him. Do you read punch? I
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: am sure you do. Pump and Punch must be almost
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: the only survivors of the Victorian age. Do you remember
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: an old joke and an excellent picture representing two ragged
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: irishmen with guns waiting behind a stone wall to shoot
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: a landlord. One of the irishmen says, the landlord is late,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: and adds, I hope no accidents happened to the poor gentleman. Well,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: it's all perfectly true. I knew that irishman intimately, but
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I want to tell you a secret about him. He
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: was an Englishman. The chauffeur had backed with breathless care
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: to the entrance of the garage, which was next door
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: to a milkman's, or merely separated from it by a
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: black and lean lane, looking no larger than the crack
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: of a door. It must, however, have been larger than
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: it looked, because Captain Delroy disappeared down it. He seemed
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: to have beckoned the driver after him. At any rate,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: that functionary instantly followed. The functionary came out again in
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: an almost guilty haste, touching his cap and stuffing loose
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: papers into his pocket. Then the functionary returned yet again
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: from what he called the garage, carrying larger and looser
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: things over his arm. All this did mister Humphrey Pump observe,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: not without interest, the place, remote as it was, was
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: evidently a rendezvous for motorists. Otherwise, a very tall motorist
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: trottled and masked in the most impenetrable degree would hardly
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: have strolled up to speak to him. Still Less, would
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: the tall motorist have handed him a similar horrid disguise
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: of wraps and goggles in a bundle over his arm.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: Least of all would any motorist, however tall, have said
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: to him from behind the cap and goggles, put on
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: these things, hump, and then we'll go into the milk shop.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: I'm waiting for the car which car my seeker. After truth,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: why the car I'm going to buy for you to drive?
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: The remorseful chauffeur, after many adventures, did actually find his
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: way back to the little moonlit wood where he had
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: left his master and the donkey but his master and
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: the donkey had vanished. End of chapter fifteen,