Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 257. Ajla Tomljanović, Pro Tennis Player

Transcript

257. Ajla Tomljanović, Pro Tennis Player · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: It will all be okay.
0:16
Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily Abadi here. You are listening to episode
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Speaker 2: two hundred and fifty seven of Hurdle, a wellness focused
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Speaker 2: podcast where I connect with everyone from your favorite athletes
0:26
Speaker 2: to top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs,
0:30
Speaker 2: toughest moments, and everything in between. We all go through
0:33
Speaker 2: hurdles in life, and my goal through these discussions is
0:36
Speaker 2: to empower you to better navigate yours and move with
0:39
Speaker 2: intention so that you can stride towards your own big
0:42
Speaker 2: potential and of course have some fun along the way.
0:47
Speaker 3: For episode two hundred and fifty seven, I am chatting
0:50
Speaker 3: with Aila tom Yanovic.
0:52
Speaker 2: She's a professional tennis player originally born in Croatia and
0:55
Speaker 2: moved to the United States when she was fourteen. She
0:57
Speaker 2: is known by many for playing Serena Williams in her
1:01
Speaker 2: final match at the US Open in twenty twenty two
1:05
Speaker 2: and winning. In today's episode, Aila talks to me about
1:09
Speaker 2: coming up in the sport of tennis, supported by her family,
1:14
Speaker 2: who also was extremely active. Her father was actually a
1:19
Speaker 2: professional handball player in Croatia.
1:21
Speaker 3: A huge theme in.
1:23
Speaker 2: Our conversation today navigating injury and the unexpected hurdles that
1:28
Speaker 2: come hand in hand with succeeding in sport. Aila is
1:33
Speaker 2: currently coming back from a knee injury, most recently super
1:37
Speaker 2: bummed after having to withdraw from the French Open because
1:42
Speaker 2: it just isn't healing as she'd hoped. We talk about
1:46
Speaker 2: how that kind of progress, which is still progress, feels
1:51
Speaker 2: for her and how she manages to keep a positive
1:54
Speaker 2: mindset amidst this super difficult hurdle. Aila and I also
2:00
Speaker 2: talk about navigating the spotlight. Plus, she talks to me
2:03
Speaker 2: about one of her sponsors, a Morpho. They actually hooked
2:06
Speaker 2: us up for this conversation. For those who haven't heard
2:09
Speaker 2: of a Morpho, they make weighted training gear. If you
2:14
Speaker 2: watched the Breakpoint documentary on Netflix, I cannot recommend it enough.
2:19
Speaker 2: You'll see that all of ALA's friends and family are
2:22
Speaker 2: actually wearing a Morpho hats in the stands at the
2:25
Speaker 2: US Open for that famous Serena when, which gave me
2:29
Speaker 2: a little bit of a laugh. I myself have tried
2:31
Speaker 2: their training gear, and it's essentially designed to help people
2:35
Speaker 2: build strength and boost your cardio and even burn more
2:39
Speaker 2: calories while working out. I will link to their website
2:42
Speaker 2: and their socials in the show notes to this podcast.
2:45
Speaker 2: So happy that we were able to make this happen.
2:48
Speaker 2: Make sure you are following along with Hurdle on social
2:52
Speaker 2: It is at Hurdle podcast. I myself am over at
2:56
Speaker 2: Emily a body. Now, last little bit of housekeeping. If
3:01
Speaker 2: you're not subscribed to the Weekly Hurdle, what are you
3:03
Speaker 2: waiting for?
3:04
Speaker 3: The link to do that is in the show notes.
3:07
Speaker 2: By subscribing, not only will you get the same motivation,
3:11
Speaker 2: inspiration things you love from the show directly in your
3:14
Speaker 2: inbox every single Friday, but you'll also get my gear picks,
3:18
Speaker 2: what I'm watching, what I'm listening to. I often get
3:20
Speaker 2: questions asking for recommendations for everything from sneakers to tiktoks
3:25
Speaker 2: and sports brasen more, and you will find a lot
3:28
Speaker 2: of my go tos recommended in the Weekly Hurdle. Again,
3:32
Speaker 2: it's free and the link to subscribe is in the
3:35
Speaker 2: show notes. With that, well, let's get to it. Let's
3:39
Speaker 2: get to hurdling.
3:56
Speaker 1: Today.
3:57
Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with Aila tam Yanovich is a pro
4:01
Speaker 2: tennis player.
4:02
Speaker 3: How are you doing today, Ilave?
4:04
Speaker 1: I'm good. I got a good training day in I
4:08
Speaker 1: made it through it, so I'm happy I mean.
4:11
Speaker 3: Are there are there days we don't make it through
4:13
Speaker 3: the training day.
4:14
Speaker 1: There are well, there are days where we have to
4:17
Speaker 1: modify training, And I don't like that because it's like
4:20
Speaker 1: a My team doesn't even call it a setback, but
4:23
Speaker 1: to me, it feels like a setback. As soon as
4:25
Speaker 1: we have to pull back a little bit, I'm not happy.
4:27
Speaker 1: So I had a big day yesterday, second big day
4:30
Speaker 1: today in a row, and we're golden so far.
4:32
Speaker 2: So I'm happy we're golden and we're happy. Those are
4:35
Speaker 2: both good things. I think a lot of people listening
4:37
Speaker 2: to this right off the bat can probably relate to
4:40
Speaker 2: that feeling, right that feeling of oh, I don't want
4:43
Speaker 2: to feel like I failed if I have to modify something.
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Speaker 3: How do you work with that mindset and overcome that?
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Speaker 1: Oh? My Peta made a really good point when I
4:55
Speaker 1: was like, I we had to like pull back a
4:57
Speaker 1: little bit, and I he could see the disappointment in
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Speaker 1: my face and almost like everything is not going the
5:02
Speaker 1: right way, and he was like, listen, with the injury, Well,
5:05
Speaker 1: I'll talk from my perspective having an injury. He's like,
5:08
Speaker 1: with this type of thing, you can't compare yourself to yesterday,
5:11
Speaker 1: Like you have to compare yourself a week ago. And
5:14
Speaker 1: then he's like, how was it last Friday? And I
5:16
Speaker 1: was like, well it was this Friday was much better.
5:18
Speaker 1: He's like, well, you know, that's the kind of mind
5:20
Speaker 1: so you have to keep up with and that's very
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Speaker 1: hard when you're just a professional athlete trying to get
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Speaker 1: back out there. So like easier said.
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Speaker 3: Than done, easier said than done.
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Speaker 2: Professional or non professional injuries are just no fun for anyone.
5:35
Speaker 2: For those that may be a little bit out of
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Speaker 2: the loop, tell the hurdlers, which is what I call
5:39
Speaker 2: my listeners, what you're navigating right now.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. I had a minor procedure done on January twentieth
5:46
Speaker 1: on my left knee. My cartilage needed some TLC, so
5:50
Speaker 1: my surgeon cleaned everything up, but there was there's definitely
5:55
Speaker 1: a road ahead since then of just strengthening and letting
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Speaker 1: it heal and just amos learning all the new movements
6:02
Speaker 1: again because it's a I think now it's catching up
6:05
Speaker 1: to me. That's trickier than I thought it would be.
6:07
Speaker 1: Just the rehab process, not not you know, like I
6:09
Speaker 1: will I will get back out there, you know, in
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Speaker 1: no time, and it'll be fine again, But it's just
6:14
Speaker 1: more the mental side where I thought, oh, just to
6:17
Speaker 1: clean up, we'll be fine in a few months, you know.
6:19
Speaker 1: But it's mentally a little bit taxing just because I
6:22
Speaker 1: feel my need daily. But it's part of the rehab process,
6:25
Speaker 1: you know.
6:26
Speaker 2: Do I know I'm dealing with planter fasci itis right now,
6:29
Speaker 2: which is just like the injury that never quits. So
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Speaker 2: I really sympathize and relate to your story, especially this
6:36
Speaker 2: concept that progress from an injury is like rarely ever
6:41
Speaker 2: actually linear, right.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I my plenty of fasci itis is almost like
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Speaker 1: the norm having that. You're weird if you're an athlete
6:48
Speaker 1: and you don't have that. So I actually had it,
6:51
Speaker 1: and now with this it's gotten better. So that's the
6:54
Speaker 1: upside to having surgery and being out a little bit.
6:56
Speaker 1: Least my heel got better.
6:58
Speaker 3: We love it.
6:58
Speaker 1: Well.
6:59
Speaker 2: I know you celebrated our birthday recently. You've been playing
7:02
Speaker 2: professionally since two thousand and nine. For a minute now,
7:07
Speaker 2: so talk to me a little bit about how it
7:10
Speaker 2: feels almost having to go through this being a little
7:14
Speaker 2: bit of a beginner again in essence, just like back
7:18
Speaker 2: when you started on the circuit.
7:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, I in the moment, I hate it, but you
7:24
Speaker 1: know what, I when I look back, it almost feels
7:27
Speaker 1: like every time there's like a setback like this, it
7:30
Speaker 1: feels like you're starting over again, also in a new way,
7:32
Speaker 1: because there are so many things that I'm better at since,
7:36
Speaker 1: like my shoulder surgery that happened, you know, six seven
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Speaker 1: years ago, or when I had moon and I was
7:40
Speaker 1: at for a while and I whenever, you know, when
7:43
Speaker 1: this happened, my first thought was maybe not my first
7:46
Speaker 1: and I first thought was like crying, but like right
7:49
Speaker 1: after it was like, I am so curious to see
7:51
Speaker 1: how this is going to impact me in a positive
7:54
Speaker 1: way because there's always going to come that part as
7:57
Speaker 1: well with all the bad stuff, there will come something
8:00
Speaker 1: out of it that I'll be like, Wow, if this
8:02
Speaker 1: didn't happen, I wouldn't be this and this, and I
8:06
Speaker 1: love that. It still showed me that my love for
8:09
Speaker 1: this sport is even stronger than ever, which I'm happy.
8:12
Speaker 1: You know, at thirty years old doing this for such
8:14
Speaker 1: a long time. You have girls that burn out and
8:16
Speaker 1: they're happy to you know, retire soon, and to me
8:19
Speaker 1: it's like, oh my gosh, I need to maximize whatever
8:21
Speaker 1: I can, because I can't imagine not doing this.
8:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, like you said, you've
8:26
Speaker 2: been doing it. You're now thirty back since two thousand
8:29
Speaker 2: and nine. Did you feel this exact same way, this
8:33
Speaker 2: level of excitement and just pure love for your sport
8:37
Speaker 2: when you went pro back in two thousand and nine.
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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I was so excited. Like when even
8:44
Speaker 1: though okay, two thousand and nine, I was seventeen, no, sixteen,
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Speaker 1: and I remember my I you know, everyone was like, oh,
8:51
Speaker 1: you turned pro. And my dad was like, listen when
8:53
Speaker 1: he heard me like call myself that, he was like, look,
8:56
Speaker 1: until you pay for all your expenses and managed to
9:00
Speaker 1: make money on the side and like have some savings.
9:03
Speaker 1: Like I don't think you can call yourself that. Like
9:05
Speaker 1: I wasn't making in prize money, you know what I
9:08
Speaker 1: to like support myself at sixteen. That came, you know,
9:12
Speaker 1: in a like a few years later. So my dad
9:15
Speaker 1: if he heard someone say, oh, she turned pro two
9:17
Speaker 1: thousand and nine, and he's like, no, a few years
9:19
Speaker 1: later is when we count it, which I agree with
9:22
Speaker 1: as well. But you know, starting at in two thousand
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Speaker 1: and nine, with all the pro tournaments that I started playing,
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Speaker 1: and just being in the environment where I was like,
9:29
Speaker 1: I want to become I want this to become my
9:32
Speaker 1: norm was so energizing. Like I remember coming to every
9:37
Speaker 1: like Grand Slam qualities. I just like lived for that.
9:40
Speaker 1: And it took me a year to realize that actually
9:43
Speaker 1: the tournament starts when when I believed because I wouldn't
9:46
Speaker 1: make past the qualities the first year at the Slams,
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Speaker 1: So I was like, Okay, I need to like actually
9:51
Speaker 1: make it to these tournaments, you know established. So it
9:54
Speaker 1: was just such a fun climb because you're like every
9:58
Speaker 1: small improvement, every small win. It was huge for me.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love hearing about your dad trying to keep
10:05
Speaker 2: you grounded. Oh still to this day, can you tell
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Speaker 2: us a little bit about how that relationship has aided
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Speaker 2: you in this journey.
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Speaker 1: I feel very lucky now at thirty two, still have
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Speaker 1: an even better relationship with my dad than you know before,
10:22
Speaker 1: because you know, we grew together and he was a
10:25
Speaker 1: professional athlete himself, which really helped with a perspective of
10:29
Speaker 1: a parent. Sometimes that can get tricky when professional athletes
10:33
Speaker 1: go into something and parents aren't really aware of the
10:35
Speaker 1: world you're being thrown into. And having a dad that
10:38
Speaker 1: was just so about the process and just happy that
10:41
Speaker 1: his daughter's pursuing something similar like he was. I think
10:45
Speaker 1: for my dad it was like his own little second
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Speaker 1: career of just following me around and seeing me improve
10:53
Speaker 1: and reach my goals. So to have someone onto all
10:56
Speaker 1: these years, I mean, the loneliness was never really there
11:00
Speaker 1: when the losses what happen and even the wins, like
11:02
Speaker 1: you want to have someone next to you celebrating that
11:04
Speaker 1: that's really that you know, it is your ride or die,
11:07
Speaker 1: And you don't really find that in coaches as well,
11:10
Speaker 1: because that can change, you know, you can't always be
11:13
Speaker 1: so connect, like not connected, but like anchorage to them
11:18
Speaker 1: like you can to your family. So I just feel
11:21
Speaker 1: like it's been I'm very lucky that I got to
11:24
Speaker 1: do that with him for so long.
11:25
Speaker 2: And still Yeah, going pro at seventeen, so much has
11:29
Speaker 2: changed for you since then. Talk to me about some
11:33
Speaker 2: of those earlier years, the lessons that you were learning
11:37
Speaker 2: as you were trying to find your footing amongst all
11:40
Speaker 2: of the other pro athletes.
11:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, starting out, I remember I would always compare myself
11:46
Speaker 1: to all the girls my age, because that was a
11:49
Speaker 1: big thing growing up like when you're into twelves or
11:51
Speaker 1: the fourteens, you're always like, oh, who's the best in
11:53
Speaker 1: this age group? And now it seems so silly because
11:58
Speaker 1: nobody cares about age. It's just about how you perform.
12:01
Speaker 1: But I remember like I was always comparing myself to them,
12:04
Speaker 1: and it would sometimes hinder my process because you know,
12:09
Speaker 1: one tournament someone else would do well, it wasn't always
12:11
Speaker 1: my time to have the tournament that I would really
12:14
Speaker 1: want to do well at, and it put extra pressure
12:18
Speaker 1: on me that I didn't really need because I'm already
12:21
Speaker 1: the type of person that just puts a lot of
12:24
Speaker 1: expectation on myself, and it's a blessing and a curse.
12:27
Speaker 1: I don't think I would have gotten this far if
12:29
Speaker 1: I wasn't driven like that. But at the same time,
12:32
Speaker 1: there were times when I could have been kinder to
12:34
Speaker 1: myself and I would have helped. But just seeing that
12:38
Speaker 1: whole journey as a long thing, rather than, oh, my gosh,
12:42
Speaker 1: tomorrow I have to win. I wish it as a kid, like,
12:45
Speaker 1: I wish it could have been easier on me, But
12:47
Speaker 1: then you know, I wonder could it have been. Maybe
12:50
Speaker 1: this was just how it was meant to.
12:51
Speaker 2: Be super interesting to hear that you had that level
12:55
Speaker 2: of awareness to keep it within a certain group. Per se,
13:00
Speaker 2: you're talking about other players that are your own age.
13:02
Speaker 2: You knew well enough not to maybe get into the
13:06
Speaker 2: sport and compare yourself against number one, number two, et cetera. Now,
13:12
Speaker 2: did you have a certain experience that you felt like
13:16
Speaker 2: instilled that level of awareness in you.
13:19
Speaker 1: I've always been a thinker, so like I would overanalyze
13:23
Speaker 1: every situation I'm in, and I am a little bit
13:26
Speaker 1: of a late bloomer, and that was really not I
13:30
Speaker 1: didn't like that. I you know, there were girls playing
13:33
Speaker 1: at the same time as me that you know, had
13:35
Speaker 1: that amazing result when they were like seventeen eighteen, and
13:38
Speaker 1: that wasn't me. Like I was the one people talked about,
13:41
Speaker 1: like she has potential, she's good. But I didn't have
13:43
Speaker 1: that boom moment. And I was aware of it. And
13:47
Speaker 1: it took me like maybe even in like my mid twenties,
13:50
Speaker 1: when I had some setbacks and when I realized that
13:54
Speaker 1: it doesn't all nothing, none of it matters. You know,
13:57
Speaker 1: your career is your own, and I can play for
13:59
Speaker 1: so many more years. Nobody's going to care about things
14:02
Speaker 1: that I think people care about and now looking back,
14:05
Speaker 1: I'm like, I wish it could have taken me less
14:08
Speaker 1: years to realize some things. But I also can't change
14:12
Speaker 1: who I am. You know, there's a reason I am
14:13
Speaker 1: the way I am, the way I'm wired and the
14:15
Speaker 1: way I think. And I've grown to also like that
14:18
Speaker 1: about myself. I'm not perfect at all, but I love
14:21
Speaker 1: that I have, like the drive and the passion that
14:24
Speaker 1: I think when I look around on tour, sometimes I
14:27
Speaker 1: don't see it as you know, as strongly in some
14:30
Speaker 1: other ones that I actually, in a way would admire,
14:33
Speaker 1: which is kind of trippy. You know.
14:35
Speaker 2: I appreciate what you said about understanding that the setbacks
14:39
Speaker 2: that you were experiencing in your mid twenties they.
14:41
Speaker 3: Were really happening for you.
14:43
Speaker 2: I would argue that, you know, come twenty thirteen, twenty fourteen,
14:47
Speaker 2: that's when your career really took off. So if you
14:50
Speaker 2: wouldn't mind put us in your shoes back in that
14:54
Speaker 2: time period, what was it like to be Aila in
14:57
Speaker 2: twenty fourteen.
15:00
Speaker 1: Twenty fourteen. I was like, that were my rebellious years.
15:06
Speaker 1: Like if you talk to my mom, she'd be like,
15:08
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Isla was the perfect child until twenty two,
15:14
Speaker 1: and I would like agree in a way that I
15:17
Speaker 1: really like I was so all about doing the right
15:20
Speaker 1: thing all the time, but there came a point where,
15:23
Speaker 1: you know, I just wanted to break free a little
15:24
Speaker 1: bit in different areas of my life. And I really
15:29
Speaker 1: like when I look back, like they're fun years because
15:31
Speaker 1: I think I had some really nice results. But at
15:34
Speaker 1: the same time, I didn't. I didn't completely fulfill my potential.
15:38
Speaker 1: There were a lot of things that were a problem.
15:41
Speaker 1: For example, I would play a bad match and I
15:43
Speaker 1: wouldn't I didn't have the capability of being one hundred
15:47
Speaker 1: percent honest with myself of what was wrong, what didn't
15:51
Speaker 1: I do well, because for some reason, I just I
15:53
Speaker 1: couldn't face some of these fears and problems that I
15:56
Speaker 1: was dealing with until maybe three four years later, and
16:01
Speaker 1: then you know, I was able to actually change something
16:04
Speaker 1: in these matches. So it was like my early twenties
16:06
Speaker 1: in my career, it was a ton of like highs
16:09
Speaker 1: and lows. Yeah, I couldn't figure out that middle where
16:12
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, I figured out how to have my
16:15
Speaker 1: consistency and now I just need to like slowly go
16:18
Speaker 1: up it was always like boom down up, and it
16:21
Speaker 1: was really messing with my confidence because I would just
16:24
Speaker 1: hear people say like, oh, yeah, she can compete with
16:26
Speaker 1: the best, but just their consistency is not there, and
16:29
Speaker 1: it would like really mess with my head a little
16:33
Speaker 1: bit where I was like doubting, well, can I really
16:34
Speaker 1: do it at a level where I feel like I belong?
16:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's understandable.
16:38
Speaker 2: I mean to ride those high highs and then also
16:41
Speaker 2: navigate those low lows that would be difficult for anyone.
16:45
Speaker 3: Now, you said that you.
16:48
Speaker 2: Were able to get to a point where you've became
16:50
Speaker 2: more capable of reflecting and being honest with yourself.
16:54
Speaker 3: Did something specific happen that enabled that within you?
16:57
Speaker 1: I think naturally, I was getting really sick of not addressed.
17:01
Speaker 1: I could feel I'm not addressing the issue. And you know,
17:04
Speaker 1: early on in my career, my parents would always encourage
17:08
Speaker 1: me to work with a psychologist, and when I was younger,
17:11
Speaker 1: I saw that such a weakness, like talking to someone
17:14
Speaker 1: about your mental side of the game. I thought like, why, well,
17:18
Speaker 1: why would I do that? I'm fine, Like, there's nothing
17:21
Speaker 1: wrong with me. And that's when I started initiating That
17:27
Speaker 1: is when I could see that something's going to change
17:29
Speaker 1: soon because I was willing to be very vulnerable and
17:34
Speaker 1: just admit something that's been very hard for a couple
17:37
Speaker 1: of years. And you know, it still wasn't not like
17:41
Speaker 1: it solved everything, but I could definitely see that after
17:45
Speaker 1: every setback, I was actually learning from my experiences and
17:50
Speaker 1: that was huge. So I think just being more consistent
17:53
Speaker 1: with being honest with myself, my team, and my psychologist,
17:57
Speaker 1: and just working through stuff before. I would just like
18:00
Speaker 1: before I match, my dad be like how are you feeling?
18:02
Speaker 1: And I'm like I'm great, And then I come on
18:03
Speaker 1: the court and I'm like, I'm having an anxiety attack.
18:07
Speaker 1: And now, I mean, if my dad asked me like,
18:09
Speaker 1: how do you feel, I'm like, wow, like I'm nervous
18:11
Speaker 1: for this one. And it doesn't feel like I'm less
18:14
Speaker 1: than just because I'm nervous, because honestly everyone is. Back
18:17
Speaker 1: then that felt like a crime to like to say
18:20
Speaker 1: that I'm nervous.
18:21
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I can totally relate with this, and
18:23
Speaker 2: I'm sure many people listening can as well. This concept
18:27
Speaker 2: of being on autopilot someone asking me how you are
18:30
Speaker 2: and You're like, I'm good, I'm great, it's like you
18:31
Speaker 2: want to show up, you want to be great, but
18:34
Speaker 2: there's so much freedom that comes with being honest about
18:37
Speaker 2: how you're really doing, and that freedom then in turn,
18:41
Speaker 2: when you vocalize what's actually going on, enables you to
18:45
Speaker 2: better show up for yourself and then get after whatever
18:48
Speaker 2: it is that you're getting after.
18:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. And like one of my early
18:52
Speaker 1: on life I changed a few psychologists throughout my career,
18:55
Speaker 1: but one woman really helped me, and she was like,
18:58
Speaker 1: take the power away from whatever is holding it like
19:01
Speaker 1: over you, because you know, like, okay, let's say your
19:05
Speaker 1: nervousness or your anxiety, like are you saying you acknowledge it?
19:08
Speaker 1: And then it kind of like you could feel your
19:10
Speaker 1: whole self kind of relaxing and being like, oh, okay, yeah,
19:14
Speaker 1: that's what I'm feeling, but it's fine. Doesn't mean that
19:17
Speaker 1: anything's bad's gonna happen now. Doesn't mean because that's that's
19:20
Speaker 1: how you're feeling, I'm going to have a bad match
19:22
Speaker 1: in two hours After that, like so many things would
19:26
Speaker 1: just naturally fall into place, like I'd have a match
19:28
Speaker 1: where I'm like how did I just do that? It's like, well,
19:30
Speaker 1: because I've done the work.
19:31
Speaker 3: Before, right, totally, totally.
19:34
Speaker 2: Do you remember those first few times chatting with your
19:38
Speaker 2: psychologists how that solved for you?
19:41
Speaker 1: Honestly, it felt liberating at first. Yeah, Like the first
19:45
Speaker 1: few times I spoke to my psychologists back then, I
19:49
Speaker 1: felt like like a big like the weight of the
19:52
Speaker 1: world was off my chest. And then I thought I
19:55
Speaker 1: was cure too. I was like, oh, this is great,
19:58
Speaker 1: this worked.
19:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, ever have any issues ever again?
20:01
Speaker 2: Because I spoke about my feelings at least three times, Yeah,
20:05
Speaker 2: I was.
20:05
Speaker 1: Like, this is so amazing. Everyone should do this. But yeah,
20:09
Speaker 1: it felt great just to let all my darkest thoughts
20:13
Speaker 1: out and not be not be judged, and actually feel
20:17
Speaker 1: like it's normal and it's common. Yeah, yeah it was.
20:22
Speaker 1: Then then the next challenge is like, okay, when that
20:25
Speaker 1: creeps in, when you're on a stadium full of people,
20:28
Speaker 1: how do you still keep it together? Right? But yeah,
20:33
Speaker 1: like you want to get to a point where it's
20:35
Speaker 1: a little bit of autopilot on court, and but some
20:38
Speaker 1: days it isn't. And that's okay too. It's just I never,
20:41
Speaker 1: like I remember one match maybe during COVID I it
20:46
Speaker 1: was that's where like I remember I was like, Okay,
20:49
Speaker 1: this is it. I never want to I can lose
20:52
Speaker 1: every match from now on. I just never want to
20:54
Speaker 1: feel like this again, like just so not in control
20:58
Speaker 1: of my body. And I mean, knock on wood, I'm
21:01
Speaker 1: not even nervous to say it. But it hasn't happened since,
21:03
Speaker 1: and I don't think it will happen again, just because
21:06
Speaker 1: I have like coping mechanisms as well of what to
21:09
Speaker 1: do when some thoughts creep in and just yeah, you know,
21:13
Speaker 1: unnecessary stuff in the head, like I mean, sometimes are
21:17
Speaker 1: like worst enemy, our own thoughts.
21:20
Speaker 3: It's so true. It's so true.
21:22
Speaker 2: And what you're talking about a little bit here alludes
21:25
Speaker 2: to also having a bit of a mindfulness practice. Would
21:28
Speaker 2: you say that you regularly integrate either their breathwork meditation.
21:31
Speaker 3: What does your mindfulness practice look like these days?
21:35
Speaker 1: Oh? You know, I wish I had a better routine
21:38
Speaker 1: with meditation, because I really believe that it helps. I
21:42
Speaker 1: just never could get into a good routine like where
21:46
Speaker 1: I'm like daily or even every other day, but I'm
21:49
Speaker 1: feeling stressed. I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna do it. But
21:51
Speaker 1: that's that's almost like faking it a little bit. But
21:54
Speaker 1: I think what's been helping me the most is just
21:57
Speaker 1: a lot of talking. Like, whatever I feel, I just
22:00
Speaker 1: blurt it out. And it's gotten to a point where
22:04
Speaker 1: if I, let's say, I'm having a day and I'm
22:06
Speaker 1: trying not to also be overbearing to the people around me,
22:10
Speaker 1: so I want to like keep be mindful of not
22:12
Speaker 1: always sit telling them everything. But then if I keep
22:16
Speaker 1: it in for too long, I go nuts. So it's
22:18
Speaker 1: just like I just blurt it out, and that's been
22:21
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's actually great even with your
22:24
Speaker 1: relationships with people around you, that they know what's going on,
22:27
Speaker 1: because these are the people that are very close to me,
22:29
Speaker 1: and it's good. But yeah, like that's been crucial for
22:33
Speaker 1: me just talking about whatever I'm feeling. And sometimes even
22:37
Speaker 1: the person you don't think will help you will just
22:39
Speaker 1: say one thing and it will be good. You know.
22:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I totally, I totally get it.
22:45
Speaker 2: And it shows that you're keeping people around you that
22:48
Speaker 2: really care about you, right, They want what's best for you,
22:51
Speaker 2: And so often we can feel like a burden to
22:53
Speaker 2: those around us when we're just talking about ourselves, right,
22:56
Speaker 2: But those people that care for your betterment, they want
22:59
Speaker 2: you to talk about yourself because they want you to
23:02
Speaker 2: be okay, and that's the most important part. Now, I
23:06
Speaker 2: do want to dial back to twenty sixteen, when you
23:10
Speaker 2: got your shoulder surgery. Talk to us a little bit
23:13
Speaker 2: about where your mental space was heading into that month.
23:19
Speaker 1: Well, I was dealing for like six seven months with
23:22
Speaker 1: just a lot of shoulder pain, and I even took
23:24
Speaker 1: three months off to try to rehabit without the surgery,
23:28
Speaker 1: and nothing was helping. And then I ended up going
23:31
Speaker 1: to see my surgeon again. But the tricky part about
23:34
Speaker 1: it is that he never told me and we still
23:37
Speaker 1: joke about it because he did my other surgery, so
23:40
Speaker 1: we actually have a good relationship. And he never told
23:43
Speaker 1: me in the beginning that surgery was really an option.
23:46
Speaker 1: He was just you know, having me focus on my
23:49
Speaker 1: rehab and see how it goes. So when I went
23:52
Speaker 1: to see him the second time, he was like, okay,
23:54
Speaker 1: like we got to fix it now. It didn't really work.
23:57
Speaker 1: And I remember when he told me the time frame
24:00
Speaker 1: of how long I would be out, it felt like
24:03
Speaker 1: like a like like a stab to my chest. I mean,
24:06
Speaker 1: I was an invincible twenty two year old soon to
24:09
Speaker 1: be twenty three, and like injuries were just whatever you know,
24:14
Speaker 1: so to all of a sudden be out for a
24:16
Speaker 1: year felt like it just didn't feel like my life.
24:19
Speaker 1: It felt like it took a long time to really
24:23
Speaker 1: come to terms. And yeah, I would say that those
24:26
Speaker 1: two years from that surgery were really very challenging. Even
24:29
Speaker 1: the year coming back from it was not easy. But
24:33
Speaker 1: it definitely helped me now for this one, even though Okay,
24:36
Speaker 1: I'm six seven years you know, smarter and older and
24:40
Speaker 1: more experienced, but still like this hit me in a
24:43
Speaker 1: different way, but still it's still a hit, you know,
24:45
Speaker 1: as an athlete, like it's the worst thing that can happen,
24:48
Speaker 1: and we don't realize it until that happens.
24:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but it teaches you and prepares you to
24:53
Speaker 2: handle whatever hurdles lay ahead. Now, you said that that
24:57
Speaker 2: year felt like what was an eternity? Tell us about
25:01
Speaker 2: what you were doing during that year? What did your
25:04
Speaker 2: days look like when you couldn't show up as you'd
25:07
Speaker 2: hoped to?
25:09
Speaker 1: Absolutely nothing. I was doing nothing except rehab, which people
25:16
Speaker 1: I don't know they sometimes I don't think they know
25:18
Speaker 1: when you're rehabing how much time it takes out of
25:21
Speaker 1: your day. So I was rehabing for like five four
25:25
Speaker 1: or five hours a day and that like for sure
25:28
Speaker 1: for like eight nine months. And I remember like my
25:32
Speaker 1: mom was kind of encouraging me to keep my brain
25:36
Speaker 1: going with like things that aren't tennis related. She was like, oh,
25:40
Speaker 1: let's sign up for some classes or something, and I
25:43
Speaker 1: just I couldn't do it, And looking back, I really
25:46
Speaker 1: regret it, but I do remember mentally I wasn't capable,
25:49
Speaker 1: Like I just I was very stubborn, and I was like, listen,
25:53
Speaker 1: if I start doing other things, who knows what, Like,
25:58
Speaker 1: I want this still to be the thing I want
26:00
Speaker 1: to do. And I couldn't separate, you know, Okay, well
26:03
Speaker 1: I'm rehabbing and doing this while tennis is waiting. So
26:07
Speaker 1: I got that would be the period that I experienced
26:11
Speaker 1: for the first time some just some dark times, you know,
26:13
Speaker 1: the first time where you're like really feeling like you
26:16
Speaker 1: don't want to get out of bed. And it sounds
26:19
Speaker 1: rough now, but I really kind of do appreciate it
26:22
Speaker 1: because I don't know, it taught me a lot about myself,
26:26
Speaker 1: and at that time, I wasn't enough, like there was
26:30
Speaker 1: not enough self awareness for me to do something about it.
26:33
Speaker 1: Where now if I feel like one day I can't
26:36
Speaker 1: I'm in a bad mood. It's like, well, I don't
26:37
Speaker 1: let myself feel like that too long.
26:40
Speaker 3: Yeah.
26:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really powerful the lessons that we can learn
26:44
Speaker 2: that you learned while you were down and out. And
26:47
Speaker 2: then I mean not to spoil anything here, but as
26:50
Speaker 2: we go along this story arc, you come back and
26:52
Speaker 2: start to have some really really great playing time.
26:55
Speaker 3: How did that feel for you?
26:59
Speaker 1: It felt very rewarding. It just there's always that one
27:03
Speaker 1: moment that happens after a big injury where you just
27:10
Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, all that what I did and went
27:12
Speaker 1: through was worth it. And I don't exactly know which
27:17
Speaker 1: moment that was, but I remember I had it, and
27:20
Speaker 1: it just feels so nice because obviously, you don't train
27:24
Speaker 1: just to be back playing. You want to go back winning,
27:27
Speaker 1: and you want to go back to your ways and
27:29
Speaker 1: be even better and show that you know, it was
27:32
Speaker 1: just a setback and you can be better than you
27:35
Speaker 1: were before that. So I think when I got my
27:38
Speaker 1: career high after my surgery, that was like, whoa, I
27:43
Speaker 1: I did that because I remember people were saying that,
27:46
Speaker 1: you know, it's not easy to come back from shoulder surgery,
27:49
Speaker 1: and I've, of course, I go like you know when
27:51
Speaker 1: you're sick and you google something and then you see
27:54
Speaker 1: all the like that you're basically dying. So what I
27:57
Speaker 1: was doing, I was looking at all the people that
27:59
Speaker 1: had to be tired because of shoulder surgery. I was
28:03
Speaker 1: going like worst case scenario and that, like, as a
28:06
Speaker 1: twenty three year old, that really scared me because I
28:08
Speaker 1: was like, of course I'm still gonna play, but the
28:11
Speaker 1: fact that there was a possibility really scared me. So
28:14
Speaker 1: I was very, very very like just thankful after that,
28:19
Speaker 1: you know, I could still play. And let me tell you,
28:22
Speaker 1: I was never doing rehab before twenty two, but I've
28:25
Speaker 1: been doing reheb ever since, so it taught me that
28:28
Speaker 1: as well.
28:30
Speaker 2: I know, I feel like it's in these moments that
28:32
Speaker 2: were injured that we actually do all the things we're
28:34
Speaker 2: quote unquote supposed to do all of the time, like
28:37
Speaker 2: warming up and cooling down and foam rolling and dedicating
28:41
Speaker 2: time to recovery. And it's in these moments that we
28:44
Speaker 2: are reminded how it doesn't need to be an everest
28:48
Speaker 2: level worthy of effort and everest amount of effort to
28:52
Speaker 2: give your body what it needs to perform better.
28:55
Speaker 3: What's in your toolbox?
28:56
Speaker 2: These days when it comes to taking care of your
28:59
Speaker 2: body and recovering to your best ability, well.
29:05
Speaker 1: I would say, like the all the rehab programs I
29:08
Speaker 1: have for my core, my shoulder, now, my knee, even
29:13
Speaker 1: for my feet is something that I like in my mind,
29:17
Speaker 1: I never slack on and I always keep it in
29:21
Speaker 1: my head, Okay, I have to do this. Where like
29:23
Speaker 1: the strength stuff, the agility, I just leave that to
29:26
Speaker 1: my whoever's in charge of that in my team, which
29:29
Speaker 1: my dad does my physical preparations, so that I just like,
29:32
Speaker 1: I'm kind of okay, what are we doing today? This,
29:35
Speaker 1: I'll do it. But all the things that are preventative
29:39
Speaker 1: I really try to just be very mindful of on
29:42
Speaker 1: the daily because I know thirty is the new twenty,
29:46
Speaker 1: but hey, this body has been through a lot and
29:49
Speaker 1: I just need to give it a little bit extra
29:50
Speaker 1: till see these days. And that's okay. I would say
29:53
Speaker 1: recovery though, is another big one and I didn't think
29:56
Speaker 1: I'd ever say this, but sleep. Sleep has been something
30:00
Speaker 1: I prioritize these days big time. Like if I don't
30:04
Speaker 1: see on the clock, if I don't do the math
30:06
Speaker 1: that if I don't see at least nine hours I
30:10
Speaker 1: almost push my day back, like just to start more
30:13
Speaker 1: like in the right frame of mind. And I mean,
30:17
Speaker 1: do you remember the days when you like run on
30:19
Speaker 1: six hours and still think you're okay until it catches
30:23
Speaker 1: up to you.
30:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I remember those days. I used to in
30:26
Speaker 2: my early days. I live in Brooklyn, New York, and
30:29
Speaker 2: I used to be able to like go out dancing
30:32
Speaker 2: until one thirty in the morning and somehow miraculously show
30:35
Speaker 2: up to a workout class.
30:36
Speaker 3: That started at seven to fifteen am. No more, I love.
30:41
Speaker 1: I think I just sobered up from three drinks I
30:45
Speaker 1: had for my birthday and it's been like three days.
30:48
Speaker 3: Yes, I can totally relate to this. I can totally
30:51
Speaker 3: relate to this.
30:52
Speaker 2: And I also really appreciate this sentiment that you know
30:56
Speaker 2: that although it may feel inconvenient, that's slight inconvenience of
31:01
Speaker 2: making the time to do all of this prehab is
31:04
Speaker 2: something that's going to help you stay what you're doing.
31:07
Speaker 2: And again, that sentiment is super easy to lose sight
31:10
Speaker 2: of when it feels like, oh, this thing takes so
31:14
Speaker 2: much time, I'm just not in the mood, et cetera,
31:16
Speaker 2: et cetera.
31:18
Speaker 1: Also, when you feel good, like I found myself sometimes
31:22
Speaker 1: being at a tournament and having playing well and be like,
31:25
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I feel amazing when really I'm like
31:28
Speaker 1: running on adrenaline probably, and I'm like and then I
31:31
Speaker 1: can feel myself slack off a little bit. But I
31:34
Speaker 1: mean it's normal that, you know, on the road, it's
31:36
Speaker 1: harder to do everything the way we would in a
31:39
Speaker 1: control the environment. But yeah, I think my whole team
31:43
Speaker 1: is just also very aware of doing this stuff that
31:46
Speaker 1: it's important. But I was just now in La doing
31:49
Speaker 1: my rehab and we tested a few things and I
31:52
Speaker 1: was like so proud that like my hips and my
31:54
Speaker 1: core were has still had good numbers even though I'm
31:57
Speaker 1: still a few weeks away from my best fitness. But
32:00
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, maybe my reheb is paying off
32:03
Speaker 1: a little bit.
32:09
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33:44
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's paying off a little bit. You mentioned
33:47
Speaker 2: on the road you have been on the road for
33:50
Speaker 2: some time. Tell us a little bit about what that
33:53
Speaker 2: has been like for you going through all of your
33:57
Speaker 2: twenties traveling the world.
34:01
Speaker 1: Well, it's gotten basically now, I don't know what to
34:06
Speaker 1: do with myself when I'm in one spot for longer
34:09
Speaker 1: than two weeks. So I absolutely love being on the road.
34:12
Speaker 1: I mean, I miss it so much. I love just
34:16
Speaker 1: having that fast based life of being in a different
34:18
Speaker 1: city every other week. And even though you know, the
34:21
Speaker 1: season is the same, so it's always the same city
34:25
Speaker 1: every year, but like you know, the scheduling, but still
34:28
Speaker 1: I just love, I guess, having a purpose but also
34:34
Speaker 1: incorporated with traveling, like I love seeing new places, new people.
34:38
Speaker 1: And yeah, I don't know how i'll do once. I
34:42
Speaker 1: once I'll stop, because what people like are supposed to
34:44
Speaker 1: be in one place when they're retired, right, That's what
34:46
Speaker 1: normal people do. I don't know how I'll do that.
34:50
Speaker 2: Do you feel as though that traveling can take a
34:53
Speaker 2: toll on your relationships, whether it be with your family
34:56
Speaker 2: or your friends or whatnot.
34:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's one thing that is an ideal I miss. Like,
35:04
Speaker 1: for example, I don't really have middle school friends because
35:08
Speaker 1: I you know, I did part of my school in Croatia.
35:11
Speaker 1: Then I did online and I don't have these core
35:13
Speaker 1: friendships from like when we were seven years old. And
35:15
Speaker 1: I and I know that that's due to my lifestyle
35:19
Speaker 1: and I, I mean, you know, I take the good
35:21
Speaker 1: with the bad. I would never change what I have
35:23
Speaker 1: now because of that. But it's just a little bit harder.
35:26
Speaker 1: Let's put it this way. You make different friendships, you
35:30
Speaker 1: have to. You know, all my friends now they know
35:32
Speaker 1: that we can't talk every day. Well, I don't know.
35:36
Speaker 1: Do you talk with your friends every day?
35:37
Speaker 3: Not every day? I know not, and I don't think
35:39
Speaker 3: a lot of people do.
35:41
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I can't do this thing where we're like
35:43
Speaker 1: chatting all day. But I am lucky. I mean, I
35:48
Speaker 1: have a few friends that are really close and I
35:52
Speaker 1: feel like I can trust them, and you know, if
35:54
Speaker 1: I'm really down or something, they'll be there for me.
35:56
Speaker 1: And I think that's actually now, that's a lot I don't.
36:00
Speaker 1: They're like everyone else is more of an acquaintance that
36:02
Speaker 1: I can have fun with. But yeah, I'm lucky enough
36:07
Speaker 1: that I have my family on the road a lot.
36:09
Speaker 1: My sister works in finance, so she can't come as
36:13
Speaker 1: much as I would like. Her to, So she's the
36:15
Speaker 1: one that actually missed the most because I would I
36:18
Speaker 1: would love to cover just more often at tournaments. Yeah.
36:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that that is a lesson that
36:24
Speaker 2: we learn as we get older, right, like the importance
36:27
Speaker 2: of truly high quality relationships and maintaining those relationships and
36:33
Speaker 2: giving your energy to those relationships, because as we get older,
36:36
Speaker 2: like we just diversify our priorities. Right now, you're in,
36:40
Speaker 2: you know, arguably the height of your career, and this
36:43
Speaker 2: is something that's a priority for you right now. So
36:45
Speaker 2: to have those people that you can go to and
36:47
Speaker 2: talk to about it, even if they are few, that's
36:50
Speaker 2: something really special.
36:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. And tennis has definitely sifted out
36:56
Speaker 1: the ones that we're never going to really be amazing friendships.
36:59
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. I mean it's not a problem.
37:03
Speaker 1: I think whoever meets me as a friend or whoever, like,
37:06
Speaker 1: they don't know very quickly what my life is like.
37:09
Speaker 1: And you just have to find someone people that are
37:12
Speaker 1: aligned the same way, and you're worth it, even though
37:15
Speaker 1: that's your lifestyle.
37:16
Speaker 2: Even though that's your lifestyle, all right, Well, I would
37:19
Speaker 2: be remissive I didn't now fast forward us to twenty
37:23
Speaker 2: twenty two, because this is when if someone hadn't heard
37:27
Speaker 2: the name I loved before they heard it in twenty two,
37:30
Speaker 2: when you had the match against Serena and won, bring
37:35
Speaker 2: us to your headspace even walking into this match.
37:38
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what's about to happen? Because I knew
37:42
Speaker 1: that there was no way to prepare for it. I
37:45
Speaker 1: did as best as I could, but I knew that
37:47
Speaker 1: it was going to be more than what I prepared
37:49
Speaker 1: for because it's just an occasion that probably for me
37:53
Speaker 1: at least, never happen again. I mean in a long time,
37:57
Speaker 1: nobody's gonna as great a streams be retiring in her
38:01
Speaker 1: home slam as just like, yeah, it was almost out
38:05
Speaker 1: of a book, you know. When I really think about
38:08
Speaker 1: also the things that happened, the way I had to
38:10
Speaker 1: walk out, and then the video was played of her
38:14
Speaker 1: winning all the titles, It's like, when does that happen? Never?
38:17
Speaker 1: It's like I wasn't loving that.
38:22
Speaker 2: It's like, let's stack every single odd absolutely against you.
38:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, just bring it. But it's been the most amazing
38:31
Speaker 1: memory now, and it showed me that I'm capable of
38:35
Speaker 1: so much more than I even think because I truly
38:37
Speaker 1: like thought that that would maybe be a little much,
38:41
Speaker 1: that whole everything together. Not that I didn't believe in myself,
38:45
Speaker 1: but it just felt like, I don't know if I
38:48
Speaker 1: can handle this.
38:49
Speaker 3: I can't even remember.
38:50
Speaker 2: I mean, I remember watching that match on TV and
38:53
Speaker 2: just having so much sympathy for you, thinking to myself,
38:58
Speaker 2: like anyone who was in this math right now, I
39:00
Speaker 2: don't even know the mental gymnastics that must have been
39:04
Speaker 2: going through your head.
39:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember I came off the court and my
39:10
Speaker 1: mom like looked at me and she's like, I love,
39:14
Speaker 1: are you on something? Like where are the emotions? Like
39:17
Speaker 1: she obviously she was joking, but she was like, what
39:19
Speaker 1: did you eat today? Because I've never seen you just
39:22
Speaker 1: be so in like a zenmo. And I was like, well, mother,
39:26
Speaker 1: I didn't take anything. Doping control is a real thing.
39:30
Speaker 1: But I also understood what she meant because I don't
39:34
Speaker 1: know where. Yeah, the best answer is I don't exactly
39:40
Speaker 1: know where all that came from, Like the calmness of
39:43
Speaker 1: even when I won a big point, you know, where
39:46
Speaker 1: usually i'd maybe get excited it wasn't happening. But I
39:50
Speaker 1: do remember. People will look back on my year of
39:54
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two and talk about it, but nobody really
39:56
Speaker 1: talks about this one match that was really really for
39:59
Speaker 1: me a turning point, and that was my fourth round
40:02
Speaker 1: at Wimbledon. I beat Alisa Corney and I remember I
40:07
Speaker 1: was I was struggling a little bit physically with my body,
40:12
Speaker 1: like I had this not in the moment. I wasn't sick,
40:15
Speaker 1: but I was sick before and it took me a
40:16
Speaker 1: little bit to recover from it. So I was coughing
40:19
Speaker 1: like crazy. Everyone thought I had COVID and which I didn't,
40:24
Speaker 1: And I remember I was, I was down and I
40:27
Speaker 1: was losing, but there was just this moment that I
40:30
Speaker 1: went into my shell and I wasn't looking anymore at
40:33
Speaker 1: my team. It was just like like a zone, and
40:37
Speaker 1: not a zone in a way where like I'm playing
40:39
Speaker 1: lights out, but just with my mind. And I came
40:43
Speaker 1: and even during I didn't question it too much, but
40:46
Speaker 1: I remember like just like I would play an amazing
40:49
Speaker 1: point and just put my head down and just go
40:51
Speaker 1: next one, and I was thinking should I pump myself
40:54
Speaker 1: up more? But then I was like you know what, no,
40:56
Speaker 1: Like this is what my body is just reacting to
40:58
Speaker 1: and let's just go with it and end up winning it.
41:01
Speaker 1: And since then there were so many times I'd channeled
41:05
Speaker 1: that thought and that feeling into my matches and it
41:08
Speaker 1: helped immensely. It doesn't come naturally because it's a little
41:11
Speaker 1: bit also like a psychopath where it's just no emotion
41:13
Speaker 1: because I am emotional, like I do have it inside,
41:17
Speaker 1: but I think I bring my best when I'm very leveled.
41:20
Speaker 1: And the Serrena match was just a perfect combo of
41:25
Speaker 1: all the things you know, that I needed and they
41:28
Speaker 1: came out. And I would be lying if I said, look,
41:31
Speaker 1: that's there was a bit of luck as well, like
41:34
Speaker 1: just of you know, everything on lining in that one night.
41:38
Speaker 1: It could have gone sideways like easily, you know, but
41:41
Speaker 1: it was just I think it was just a moment
41:42
Speaker 1: that I kind of deserved in my career.
41:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so happy to hear you talk about it
41:48
Speaker 2: and to talk about it so fondly, and also to
41:51
Speaker 2: be able to recognize and kind of commemorate these other
41:54
Speaker 2: special moments that got you to that big, big win. Now,
42:00
Speaker 2: aside from trying to find your calm in moments of stress,
42:04
Speaker 2: so there are other mantras or things that you lean
42:06
Speaker 2: into or repeat to yourself, affirmations even to help you
42:10
Speaker 2: kind of keep it together on the court.
42:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, I talk to myself a lot, like if a
42:15
Speaker 1: camera is following me, like you always have my mouth
42:19
Speaker 1: moving and I'm never talking to someone. It's always to me.
42:22
Speaker 1: And for example, I mean, it goes from little things
42:27
Speaker 1: like before my serve, I'll always just repeat three things
42:30
Speaker 1: like go up, toss or lens And it's never in
42:33
Speaker 1: the same order, Like it's not a routine, it's more
42:35
Speaker 1: just when I feel it. But the things that really
42:39
Speaker 1: help me mentally on the court is when I'm feeling stressed,
42:42
Speaker 1: I just try to encourage myself that it's not a
42:45
Speaker 1: big deal, like it's just tennis. But at the same time,
42:48
Speaker 1: I try to get myself pumped up to believe in myself.
42:51
Speaker 1: So it's like a good kind of middle of just
42:53
Speaker 1: which is I think the best way to describe as
42:55
Speaker 1: just being at peace but eager to win.
42:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's it's funny hear you saying the
43:02
Speaker 2: sentence it's just tennis, But then we talk about all
43:06
Speaker 2: of these dramatic and massive sacrifices that have come along
43:10
Speaker 2: with it, the opportunity cost if you will when you
43:13
Speaker 2: think about how long you want to be making these sacrifices,
43:18
Speaker 2: how long you want to be on the court.
43:20
Speaker 3: What do you think of.
43:22
Speaker 1: Well, you know, they're not sacrifices to me. I think
43:25
Speaker 1: that would be the biggest thing. Like if I look
43:27
Speaker 1: back on the things I missed out on, what like
43:31
Speaker 1: not going to the movies when I was fifteen on
43:33
Speaker 1: like a weekday, or I don't know, missing like a
43:36
Speaker 1: field trip like well, no, I want it to be
43:39
Speaker 1: at a tournament, you know. So there are not many
43:42
Speaker 1: I can say maybe a few trips that I've missed,
43:44
Speaker 1: like my best friend got married last year. I couldn't
43:46
Speaker 1: make it. And there are little things like that where
43:49
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I really hate what I do right now,
43:53
Speaker 1: but I have to accept it. So there aren't many
43:57
Speaker 1: things that I'm like, oh, I really missed out on
43:59
Speaker 1: this and have to sacrifice. Like going out and practicing
44:02
Speaker 1: all day is something that I don't love every day,
44:06
Speaker 1: but it's I know that in order to get what
44:08
Speaker 1: I want to get out of myself, I have to
44:11
Speaker 1: do it. So it's just it never comes in like
44:13
Speaker 1: I never question like do we really have to do
44:16
Speaker 1: this today or yeah, So it's just I don't know.
44:18
Speaker 1: Maybe it's already like a way of life because I've
44:20
Speaker 1: done it so long.
44:21
Speaker 2: What I'm hearing you really say is that your passions
44:25
Speaker 2: and your purpose truly align. You're doing something that just
44:29
Speaker 2: feels so right to you, and that there are days
44:31
Speaker 2: that you go out there and you literally say to yourself,
44:33
Speaker 2: holy crap, this is what I get to do every
44:36
Speaker 2: single day.
44:38
Speaker 1: Yeah. I probably don't say that every day to myself.
44:42
Speaker 1: I wish I did, But I think in my if
44:45
Speaker 1: I can say one thing that's never wavered in my career,
44:49
Speaker 1: it's it's the love that I have for this sport.
44:52
Speaker 1: Because my passion has gone in and out based on
44:55
Speaker 1: my mental state, but my love for the game and
44:58
Speaker 1: just winning and achieving my goals has never been a
45:03
Speaker 1: question because I knew I've had moments when I just
45:06
Speaker 1: didn't want to play, but I knew I still love
45:08
Speaker 1: the sport, which sounds weird.
45:10
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah.
45:10
Speaker 2: And so after that, Serena, when would you say that
45:14
Speaker 2: you got an influx of media attention, followers.
45:18
Speaker 3: What happened after that for you?
45:20
Speaker 1: Honestly, nothing feels different. No. I just think maybe if
45:24
Speaker 1: few more people know my name, like I'm known for
45:27
Speaker 1: the people that didn't know me before. I'm just the
45:29
Speaker 1: girl that beats Serena in her last match. It's not
45:31
Speaker 1: like they know my you know, like me as a
45:34
Speaker 1: player as much. But yeah, I don't know. I don't.
45:37
Speaker 1: I try not to stay on social media for too long.
45:40
Speaker 1: I don't love it. I don't love the Instagram. It's
45:44
Speaker 1: I try to keep away. What I've realized is like,
45:47
Speaker 1: maybe if this happened when I was younger, maybe I'd
45:50
Speaker 1: be like more, oh my god, this person knows who
45:52
Speaker 1: I am. But I'm thirty now, Like all that matters
45:56
Speaker 1: is just me reaching my goals and and if I
45:59
Speaker 1: get any little benefits of like I don't know, going
46:03
Speaker 1: to a basketball game or a concert, like I'll take
46:06
Speaker 1: that any day. But yeah, nothing has really changed. It's
46:09
Speaker 1: the same. My family still makes fun of me on
46:12
Speaker 1: the daily, Like I live in a very humbling household.
46:16
Speaker 3: So I love it coming full circle.
46:18
Speaker 2: I also love that we can say here that anyone
46:22
Speaker 2: who wants to invite Elight to a really fun event
46:24
Speaker 2: concert game, like, she's.
46:26
Speaker 3: All her game all. And I love also you mentioning Instagram.
46:30
Speaker 2: You know, if someone goes to your Instagram page, they
46:32
Speaker 2: see a pro tennis athlete with over two hundred and
46:36
Speaker 2: sixty eight thousand followers. But when you look in the mirror,
46:40
Speaker 2: what do you see looking back at you?
46:44
Speaker 1: I see a kid, like I don't see a thirty
46:46
Speaker 1: year old, that's for sure. I see I see it
46:50
Speaker 1: just like I see my ten year old self so
46:52
Speaker 1: much when I when I look in the mirror like
46:54
Speaker 1: and I don't mean that in a bad way. I
46:57
Speaker 1: just I have so much like I don't feel my
47:01
Speaker 1: age and tennis. That's one thing that's going against me
47:03
Speaker 1: a little bit because I feel like with my a
47:06
Speaker 1: few setbacks that I've had, I don't I'm not even
47:09
Speaker 1: close to being, you know, finished with my sport. But
47:14
Speaker 1: there is the real thing of the age and you know,
47:16
Speaker 1: being of agent in any sport, like there's there's going
47:20
Speaker 1: to be an end at some point that maybe you know,
47:22
Speaker 1: and I have a fear of being at the end
47:24
Speaker 1: before I'm ready because maybe right now i'm you know,
47:28
Speaker 1: I haven't played in I think it's been over six months,
47:32
Speaker 1: and I miss it like crazy. It's literally all I
47:34
Speaker 1: think about all days. When is it going to be
47:37
Speaker 1: that I'll be healthy and playing again. But yeah, I
47:41
Speaker 1: just see someone that's that's passionate. But also people won't
47:45
Speaker 1: know this, like I'm either all in or I could
47:48
Speaker 1: be the laziest person ever. There's no middle for me,
47:51
Speaker 1: and that's a little scary.
47:52
Speaker 3: I mean you alluded to it.
47:53
Speaker 2: Is there any idea or inkling of maybe when you're
47:56
Speaker 2: going to be able to be back on the court.
47:58
Speaker 1: I'm not going back out there before or I'm ready
48:01
Speaker 1: to go. I wouldn't say deep, but just where I'm
48:04
Speaker 1: ready that my body knows what it's supposed to do
48:08
Speaker 1: in a way that you know, I don't want to
48:10
Speaker 1: come off the court and be like, oh my knees
48:11
Speaker 1: not feeling well, like I just want to my health
48:14
Speaker 1: is my priority. And also I don't want to just
48:16
Speaker 1: go participate. I want to know that I can win,
48:20
Speaker 1: and that's hard to do right off the bat after
48:23
Speaker 1: enjy like this, but I still want to have a
48:26
Speaker 1: shot at you know, expecting myself to win and being
48:29
Speaker 1: physically ready.
48:30
Speaker 2: Very exciting, very exciting, and I love hearing you say
48:33
Speaker 2: my health is my priority. For someone who may be
48:36
Speaker 2: going through their own hurdle, their own injury right now
48:39
Speaker 2: and is having difficulty adopting that same mindset, what do
48:43
Speaker 2: you tell.
48:44
Speaker 1: Them that's probably the best biggest thing in any recovery
48:48
Speaker 1: from any injury is the time that it needs to heal.
48:52
Speaker 1: I wish I could like see into my knee and
48:54
Speaker 1: see like where it's at with the healing process. But
48:57
Speaker 1: I think what we always have to focus on is
49:00
Speaker 1: you have to listen to your body on the daily
49:02
Speaker 1: and not don't get too crazy with it, which I do.
49:05
Speaker 1: Like I'm sometimes so just thinking about the knee that
49:09
Speaker 1: it's actually fine, like for certain things that I can
49:12
Speaker 1: do it more automatically, but I'm always trying to try
49:15
Speaker 1: to do the perfect amount where it's I'm still strengthening it,
49:19
Speaker 1: but I'm not doing anything against it. And that's that's
49:23
Speaker 1: the mind game that my knee gives me. You know
49:25
Speaker 1: that I don't know if I'm doing enough or too much,
49:28
Speaker 1: but time and just do not slack off on your
49:32
Speaker 1: strength on your recovery, also your nutrition, like have your
49:38
Speaker 1: cheap days. But it all like all these one percent
49:40
Speaker 1: things covering from a surgery or injury is really really
49:44
Speaker 1: really important. And this is coming from someone that was
49:48
Speaker 1: not doing the one percenters all the time.
49:51
Speaker 2: So well, I'm happy to hear that it's all starting
49:55
Speaker 2: to pay off. I know at the top of this
49:57
Speaker 2: we kind of joked about your father you being like,
50:01
Speaker 2: you're not a pro just yet, but I would say
50:04
Speaker 2: that certainly now. Being our pro also comes hand in
50:07
Speaker 2: hand with a lot of really fun brands that you
50:10
Speaker 2: get to work with. I know that we were connected
50:12
Speaker 2: through the work that you do with a morpho. Talk
50:14
Speaker 2: to me a little bit about how that plays in
50:16
Speaker 2: to not only your rehab, but your training regularly as well.
50:20
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'm morpho. It's literally my favorite thing
50:23
Speaker 1: to wear when I'm training. Have you tried it?
50:25
Speaker 3: I have?
50:27
Speaker 1: What's your favorite go to?
50:28
Speaker 3: It's got to be the vast.
50:30
Speaker 1: Oh wow, you're like a hard worker.
50:34
Speaker 3: What's yours?
50:36
Speaker 1: My go to is the tights and a crop top,
50:39
Speaker 1: and then on my lighter days is the biker shorts,
50:41
Speaker 1: which I mean, if you're really if you were, you know,
50:46
Speaker 1: it's not really like you should be able to get
50:48
Speaker 1: through all your workouts with that and not really feel it.
50:51
Speaker 1: But the tights really get me in the summer, like
50:54
Speaker 1: the long ones, because once you add sweat to all
50:57
Speaker 1: that microload, oh my goodness, good luck. But I love
51:01
Speaker 1: hate the best just because it looks amazing on it.
51:04
Speaker 1: That's what I love. I feel like God is wearing it.
51:07
Speaker 1: But oh my gosh, it kills me. It gives me
51:09
Speaker 1: like so many star muscles the next day.
51:13
Speaker 3: And why do you like training with it?
51:16
Speaker 1: I love training it because first of all, I don't
51:19
Speaker 1: have to do anything, like you just wear it like
51:23
Speaker 1: it sounds weird, but you just put it on. And
51:27
Speaker 1: I love the feel of it, like I'm a little
51:30
Speaker 1: bit maybe vain, is that the right word? Like I
51:33
Speaker 1: need to feel so good with what I'm wearing, like
51:35
Speaker 1: I need to feel myself in the morning to have
51:37
Speaker 1: a good day.
51:38
Speaker 3: There's research on that.
51:40
Speaker 2: Yes, if you feel good when you go to work out,
51:43
Speaker 2: then you're more likely to push harder.
51:45
Speaker 3: There's a research study. I'll put it in the show notes.
51:48
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I don't feel so vain. Then I
51:50
Speaker 1: love that. So I just love when I wear it
51:52
Speaker 1: and it snatches me in all the right places. It
51:55
Speaker 1: gives a little bit of skin and the crop up
51:57
Speaker 1: and you feel sexy. It's just it turns heads in
52:02
Speaker 1: the right way.
52:04
Speaker 2: And then aside from that, what else would you say?
52:08
Speaker 2: What would you say excites you right now?
52:11
Speaker 1: My future? And I'm not talking like the near one
52:15
Speaker 1: as much as the one like that's ahead in maybe
52:19
Speaker 1: a few years. I'm really excited to see what I
52:21
Speaker 1: get into like as time goes on. And it's weird
52:25
Speaker 1: to say, because I mean, we should. I should. I
52:26
Speaker 1: always my mom always tells me I shouldn't think about
52:29
Speaker 1: the future. But I'm just excited to see because I
52:30
Speaker 1: have so many interests outside of tennis that I'm curious
52:34
Speaker 1: to see IFELL ever kind of explore, which I believe
52:37
Speaker 1: I will, But there's always that feeling will I really
52:40
Speaker 1: do it though, you know, Like what like, for example,
52:43
Speaker 1: I'd love to work in TV, and at the same time,
52:47
Speaker 1: I've never really done it, So what if I try
52:49
Speaker 1: it and I hate it, you know? But I do
52:51
Speaker 1: like all these little things around it, so I don't
52:53
Speaker 1: think i'll hate it. But doing something completely different from
52:57
Speaker 1: tennis is really giving me like a little bit of spark.
53:00
Speaker 1: But short term, I'm just so excited to get back
53:04
Speaker 1: out there and just feel I don't feel like myself
53:07
Speaker 1: right now. I will tell you I don't feel good
53:10
Speaker 1: because I'm just not doing what I love. I'm doing
53:13
Speaker 1: everything for it in order to get back there, but
53:16
Speaker 1: I'm not fulfilled right now, and I can't wait to
53:19
Speaker 1: feel that way whenever I get back into it.
53:22
Speaker 2: How do you give back to yourself when you are
53:25
Speaker 2: feeling a little bit down and out?
53:27
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, do I ever do that? Oh? Man?
53:32
Speaker 1: I can really, honestly, I need to be reminded by
53:38
Speaker 1: the people around me to do that. Like today, perfect example,
53:41
Speaker 1: I was just having a mourning and no really apparent reason,
53:47
Speaker 1: just you know, it's another day of me doing the
53:51
Speaker 1: same thing and hoping for some big improvement which probably
53:55
Speaker 1: didn't happen overnight, and not seeing the big picture. And
53:59
Speaker 1: I had to have my coach and my dad just
54:01
Speaker 1: really pulled me back into reality and be like you
54:03
Speaker 1: should be screaming at the top of your lungs of
54:06
Speaker 1: how far you've come. But I see that, you know,
54:10
Speaker 1: I see French open. I don't see like what did
54:12
Speaker 1: I do a month ago? So when they talk to
54:16
Speaker 1: me like that, they really also get their angry voice on.
54:20
Speaker 1: So it's to me like, oh, okay, don't be mad
54:23
Speaker 1: at me. I get it. But then it makes me
54:26
Speaker 1: think like, oh shoot, I really need to like chill
54:29
Speaker 1: on myself. So yeah, I'm very bad at catching myself
54:33
Speaker 1: of talking down to myself. I need people around me
54:37
Speaker 1: to get me back intod Sometimes.
54:39
Speaker 2: Your honesty is really refreshing, and you know, I think
54:43
Speaker 2: that it is so relatable to hear that there is
54:48
Speaker 2: struggle when things don't go as planned. But if we've
54:53
Speaker 2: learned anything over the last hour of us chatting together,
54:57
Speaker 2: it's that you truly do have the ability to come
55:01
Speaker 2: back to calm and you can be your own biggest
55:05
Speaker 2: type man, and you're also your biggest believer of what
55:08
Speaker 2: you are capable of. Especially as you reiterated winning against Serena,
55:13
Speaker 2: you walked off of that court and you said to yourself,
55:15
Speaker 2: there is nothing that I can't do. And so it's really, yeah,
55:19
Speaker 2: like to go back around like it's it's just refreshing
55:22
Speaker 2: to hear you that it can be both right. You
55:24
Speaker 2: can believe in yourself and have tough moments, and we
55:27
Speaker 2: all feel that way at times.
55:29
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I'm the perfect example of just lacking
55:35
Speaker 1: that just that little bit of extra belief to achieve
55:39
Speaker 1: certain things. And it took me just a while to
55:41
Speaker 1: really get that and then put it into play because
55:45
Speaker 1: I am naturally so tough for myself and it's gotten
55:50
Speaker 1: me this far. But it's also been my enemy in
55:53
Speaker 1: a lot of moments. But I wish we could build
55:55
Speaker 1: a perfect person. Yeah, like this is this is my Yeah,
56:00
Speaker 1: my bad side sometimes. But I'm lucky just to, like
56:03
Speaker 1: I said, be surrounded by people that recognize it and
56:05
Speaker 1: are really not afraid to be honest with me. Like
56:08
Speaker 1: my coach today, he got like angry with me today,
56:10
Speaker 1: which he never usually does. You know, and sometimes coaches
56:14
Speaker 1: will be scared to give you the honest truth because
56:17
Speaker 1: I don't know, They're may be protecting their job or something.
56:20
Speaker 1: You know, it's just and I'm very lucky to be
56:23
Speaker 1: around people that are genuine and aren't afraid to tell
56:26
Speaker 1: me how it is because it's really only for my
56:28
Speaker 1: own benefit.
56:29
Speaker 3: Yeah it is. It is.
56:31
Speaker 2: Well again, I'm so happy that we were able to
56:34
Speaker 2: find the time to sit down.
56:36
Speaker 3: I'm cheering you on.
56:37
Speaker 2: I'm so amped to see this big return in the
56:39
Speaker 2: next month or so.
56:41
Speaker 3: And before I let you go, I have one final
56:43
Speaker 3: question for you.
56:44
Speaker 2: Right now, you have an opportunity to give yourself a
56:48
Speaker 2: piece of advice.
56:49
Speaker 3: Going back to that, let's say, first.
56:51
Speaker 2: Gnarly shoulder injury that really took you out way before
56:55
Speaker 2: you were ready you have an opportunity to give that
56:59
Speaker 2: Alah a piece of advice.
57:00
Speaker 3: Knowing what you know, now, what would you tell her?
57:04
Speaker 1: This might sound stupid, but I would just say that
57:07
Speaker 1: it will all be okay one way or the other.
57:10
Speaker 1: It's going to work out in some way or form
57:13
Speaker 1: or shape whatever. It's just it's not going to be
57:16
Speaker 1: what your brain is telling you like. It will be fine.
57:19
Speaker 3: It'll probably be better than you even imagine.
57:22
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't listen anyway, So.
57:27
Speaker 3: I'm so happy that we're able to do this.
57:29
Speaker 2: Tell us if the hurdlers don't follow along with you yet,
57:31
Speaker 2: how do they keep up with you?
57:32
Speaker 3: How can they follow along with you? Give us your details.
57:36
Speaker 1: I am mostly on Instagram, and I try to post
57:40
Speaker 1: as much as realistic stuff as there is. I think
57:43
Speaker 1: I do a little bit of balance of my normal
57:45
Speaker 1: life and my practice. So follow along and see how
57:48
Speaker 1: I'm going.
57:49
Speaker 2: And yeah, I'm over at Emily Bodi and at Hurdle
57:52
Speaker 2: Podcast Another Hurdle Conquered.
57:55
Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.