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An Interview With Our Daughters | Motherhood Uncut Podcast | Season 2 Episode 1 · Motherhood Uncut

0:00
SPEAKER_07: Welcome back to Motherhood Uncut.
0:02
SPEAKER_07: We are so glad you're here.
0:04
SPEAKER_07: In this podcast, Deb Rubin and I talk about all things motherhood related, the things that people don't usually want to bring to the table.
0:10
SPEAKER_07: The messy, the hilarious, the ugly, the challenging, the amazing, the beautiful, the really effed up, all that stuff.
0:19
SPEAKER_07: We've got it here for you.
0:21
SPEAKER_07: We bring to you our own personal experiences, moms, as well as some research and data that might help you along the way.
0:27
SPEAKER_07: Thanks for being here.
0:28
SPEAKER_07: Bring your friends.
0:29
SPEAKER_07: Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review.
0:31
SPEAKER_07: We've got you.
0:32
SPEAKER_07: Come mother with us.
0:39
SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, this is Dev.
0:41
SPEAKER_01: And Kate and I are so excited to share with you our very first interview.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: Now we interviewed our four daughters.
0:48
SPEAKER_01: We were surprisingly more vulnerable through the process than we thought we'd be.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: It was an amazing experience.
0:56
SPEAKER_01: We asked them to be really honest, and they were really honest, and some of those truths really hurt.
1:01
SPEAKER_01: And what you'll hear is we were kind of straddling between letting them just really shine and speak their truth while also holding our parenting seat.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: And it was tricky, but we had fun and the girls enjoyed it, and I was really proud of them.
1:17
SPEAKER_01: So I hope you enjoy this as much as we did.
1:20
SPEAKER_01: And we'll see you soon.
1:22
SPEAKER_07: All right, moms, it's Kate, and I have something incredible to offer you.
1:26
SPEAKER_07: Starting this Friday, yes, just a couple of days away, I am launching my 12-week Healthy Mom bootcamp.
1:32
SPEAKER_07: This is going to create a pathway for you for freedom, clarity, control, connection, more time, more energy, more patience, and motherhood.
1:40
SPEAKER_07: And it is a space where you can be with other moms along the way.
1:43
SPEAKER_07: I am telling you, this is something you can't miss out on.
1:46
SPEAKER_07: 12 weeks starting this Friday, Healthy Mom Boot Camp.
1:49
SPEAKER_07: Code for a discount is in the show notes, and you only have a few more days to sign up.
1:54
SPEAKER_07: So don't miss out.
1:55
SPEAKER_07: This is gonna be a life changer, really.
1:58
SPEAKER_07: I promise.
2:00
SPEAKER_01: Hey there, this is Deb.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: I am really excited to share with you about my workshops and curriculum for January and February.
2:08
SPEAKER_01: As you know, I run something called the Mother-daughter Journey.
2:11
SPEAKER_01: And what this is designed to do is strengthen mother and daughter relationships and all those who identify or are socialized as daughters through these adolescent years.
2:21
SPEAKER_01: My goal is to equip moms with necessary tools and compassion and different perspectives to navigate their particular path forward.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: Please check out my website, motherdaughterjourney.co and register today.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: The workshops are filling up and they're actually starting next week.
2:41
SPEAKER_01: So get on board.
2:43
SPEAKER_01: I'd love to be on a journey with you.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: Thanks so much.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: Hey Deb.
2:47
SPEAKER_01: Hi, Kate.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: Season two.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: Here we are.
2:50
SPEAKER_01: We have some big guests here today.
2:52
SPEAKER_01: We have the most amazing guests here today.
2:55
SPEAKER_07: We have our four girls.
2:57
SPEAKER_07: We have our four girls.
2:58
SPEAKER_07: You want to introduce yourselves, girls?
2:59
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
3:00
SPEAKER_05: I'm Kinley and I'm 15.
3:02
SPEAKER_03: I'm Sage and I'm 14.
3:04
SPEAKER_03: Whose mom is yours?
3:05
SPEAKER_02: Oh, Kate?
3:06
SPEAKER_02: Deb.
3:07
SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm Tess and I'm 12, and my mom is Deb.
3:10
SPEAKER_02: I'm Bridger, I'm 13, and my mom is Kate.
3:12
SPEAKER_07: These guys are aka the Krubins, in case anybody was wondering.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: And they're incredibly courageous and badass to be on our podcast because it's kind of weird to have ask adolescent girls to come and talk about personal things to a bunch of listeners that they don't know who they are.
3:32
SPEAKER_01: So I just want to give it up to you all because it takes a lot of courage to be here.
3:37
SPEAKER_01: Sure does.
3:38
SPEAKER_01: So caters.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I've missed podcasting with you.
3:41
SPEAKER_01: I have missed podcasting with you.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: Here we are.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: Here we are.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: And I have to say, in the last couple weeks, not being with you, I've been thinking so much about the just the deep importance of the collective wisdom of motherhood.
3:57
SPEAKER_01: That goes out to our listeners of like just how important it is that we're in this together.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: And so there's so much more to say about that.
4:04
SPEAKER_01: But the reason we brought our girls on is because as you and I know, and I hope all our listeners know that we are like learning alongside you.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: We definitely have some places we think we're thriving, and we have lots of places to learn.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: And so we're what we want to set this podcast up for is to learn from our girls.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: What is working?
4:26
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: What's annoying?
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: And what do you wish was different in the way we mother you?
4:32
SPEAKER_01: Put on your seatbelt, Deb.
4:35
SPEAKER_01: We're so brave.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: We are so brave.
4:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm nervous.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: I know me too.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm actually we have no idea what's gonna happen.
4:41
SPEAKER_01: No, we don't.
4:42
SPEAKER_01: So, girls.
4:44
SPEAKER_07: We did tell the girls that it was okay for them to call us out on stuff, though.
4:48
SPEAKER_07: Absolutely.
4:48
SPEAKER_07: We're ready.
4:49
SPEAKER_07: We are so ready.
4:50
SPEAKER_07: Because how else will we know?
4:52
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
4:54
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
4:55
SPEAKER_07: So who wants to go first?
4:57
SPEAKER_07: Brave point, brave point.
5:00
unknown: I can.
5:01
SPEAKER_02: Yes! Whoop! Okay, wait.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: Do I start with working?
5:05
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: So um I like how my mom gives me room to like talk and doesn't like interrogate like a lot.
5:13
SPEAKER_07: What does that word interrogate mean?
5:15
SPEAKER_07: When you say, well, well, what does it mean?
5:16
SPEAKER_07: What do you mean she doesn't interrogate?
5:18
SPEAKER_02: Like, like, um, like this happens like sometimes, but not like a lot a lot.
5:23
SPEAKER_02: Like, ask like a bunch of questions, and like even if I don't feel like talking, like that doesn't happen a lot.
5:28
SPEAKER_07: I'm reminded of our 20 questions for Deb and Kate that we started with in season one.
5:35
SPEAKER_07: And the question was, what is one thing our girls would say annoys them about us?
5:40
SPEAKER_07: And both of us were like, we might ask too many questions.
5:44
SPEAKER_07: So that's great.
5:45
SPEAKER_07: That's good, Tess.
5:46
SPEAKER_07: I appreciate that.
5:48
SPEAKER_04: That's what I said was not working.
5:50
SPEAKER_07: Oh, say more.
5:51
SPEAKER_07: Say more.
5:52
SPEAKER_04: I said that um I want you to like give me space to not really want to talk about anything more than you do, because like otherwise I'll just like not feel like talking and you'll still like ask a million questions.
6:05
SPEAKER_07: Asking a million questions is one of those things that Deb that you and I have talked about on here, and I heard both of you say me too.
6:12
SPEAKER_07: Can you comment on that, Sejo?
6:14
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so sometimes when me and my mom are having a conversation and she'll be asking me like how I feel about something, sometimes like I just don't know and it's hard to explain, but she'll still like trying to like press me on that, or if like something happened like with my friends, um, she kind of just like tries to like talk about it more than I want to talk about it sometimes.
6:33
SPEAKER_01: That is such good feedback.
6:35
SPEAKER_01: That so I would do that would be helpful for me in those moments is when you don't want to talk about it, like can you tell me that?
6:45
SPEAKER_01: I just don't want to talk about this anymore.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
6:48
SPEAKER_03: Actually, I thought I did.
6:50
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
6:51
SPEAKER_03: I thought I did.
6:52
SPEAKER_07: I feel like you you have done that a number of times.
6:56
SPEAKER_07: You've you'll be like, you will say I don't want to talk about it, and Kinley, you give this crazy ass look on your face, and I'm like, that's the I don't want to talk about it love, right?
7:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: I can I can pay more attention to that crazy ass look.
7:11
SPEAKER_03: Today, mom and I we were walking into like a coffee shop and I was like talking about how my pants were like itchy, and then and she's like, Wow, your uncomfortable face is so clear, and then she was talking about how I make this really weird face when I'm like uncomfortable about something.
7:25
SPEAKER_03: Show us like it on land.
7:28
SPEAKER_03: Can't do it on the land.
7:31
SPEAKER_01: Wait, I actually want to stay on this topic for just one sec because this is actually like the number one question I get asked from moms is what do we do when our kid won't open up to us?
7:41
SPEAKER_01: So I guess I want to start with you, T, is that I appreciate that you saying I don't over-ask, but I also want to thank you because you share really willingly.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: And so I think that's a really wonderful skill.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: And I think that there's so much value in not wanting to share.
7:58
SPEAKER_01: So I'm just curious to all of you, I think you were about to say something.
8:02
SPEAKER_01: When you don't want to talk, how do you work with what's going on in your head?
8:07
SPEAKER_04: I think like mostly I just need time because like I think like if you want us to like open out open up about something, just like give us time and eventually it'll be like actually, like, I kind of want to tell you about this now because like now I'm ready to have the conversation.
8:26
SPEAKER_04: Cause like when you kind of just press it, it's like no, I'm too pressured, I don't want to talk about it.
8:32
SPEAKER_02: Also, like I feel like like sometimes like if I don't share, you like no.
8:38
SPEAKER_02: Since I share like a lot, like when I don't share, you like no, so it's kind of like awkward.
8:44
SPEAKER_02: So like I don't really know.
8:46
SPEAKER_02: So like yeah, I don't know.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Like sitting with the awkwardness of me not knowing is sometimes more uncomfortable than just saying it.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but like just like like if you know that I don't want to share, just like don't ask.
8:59
SPEAKER_02: Okay, this is so helpful.
9:02
SPEAKER_05: Yes, oh I was gonna say, I think if we want to tell you something, we will come to you when we're ready to tell you about it.
9:09
SPEAKER_05: A lot of times we'll probably talk to our friends first and be like, this happened, and then we'll come to you.
9:15
SPEAKER_05: But if we just we don't always know how you're gonna react, and a lot of times that's what's hold that's what holds us back.
9:23
SPEAKER_07: That is so can I ask a question about that?
9:26
SPEAKER_07: So that's so powerful because one of the things Deb and I talk about so much on this podcast is how important it is to stay grounded as a mom and not sort of make assumptions and project and judge.
9:39
SPEAKER_07: We've done podcasts about all of those things.
9:41
SPEAKER_07: So I'm curious when you say that, Kinley, like what is a what what way do I react that makes you uncomfortable?
9:51
SPEAKER_07: What's an example of like a way I might react that would make you be like, oh, I wish I hadn't said something?
9:57
SPEAKER_05: Well, sometimes you judge me and it makes me feel like I made the wrong decision.
10:03
SPEAKER_05: Or um you could be angry, like I never know what's gonna happen.
10:07
SPEAKER_05: But I remember one time I was telling you about this guy.
10:10
SPEAKER_05: I was like, I told him I liked him, and you were like, Oh, so what do you think would have happened if you didn't do that?
10:18
SPEAKER_05: And I was like, Oh, I think I made the wrong choice.
10:21
SPEAKER_05: Like I shouldn't have done that.
10:22
SPEAKER_05: So you made me feel like I did something wrong, and it just doesn't always feel very good.
10:27
SPEAKER_04: It's also like like you don't always have to like verbally judge us, it's kind of like like us kids are really good at reading people.
10:36
SPEAKER_07: Yes, you are, and we can tell if you're like oh can I so so so Kinley, I'm just gonna pause here with you for just a minute because this is so good.
10:49
SPEAKER_07: And obviously, Deb and I, I don't know if you did you girls listen to the podcast episode on judgment when we judge our kids?
10:56
SPEAKER_07: Did you guys listen to that?
10:58
unknown: Totally.
10:59
SPEAKER_07: No, okay, you did not.
11:00
SPEAKER_07: Okay, so so here's the thing like I think it is really something as moms that we need to practice and be mindful of is not judging our kids.
11:09
SPEAKER_07: And if I remember correctly, Kinley, please tell me if I'm wrong.
11:13
SPEAKER_07: But if I remember correctly, what came from that conversation is that you um what came hold on, Gigi, can you press close?
11:30
SPEAKER_07: Kinley, if I remember correctly, what came from that conversation is that you actually decided that maybe you had made a mistake.
11:37
SPEAKER_07: Am I right?
11:38
SPEAKER_07: That maybe you wish that you had done things differently.
11:40
SPEAKER_07: So as a mom, I guess my question is how do we help guide or support you if we're worried about a choice that you're making in a way that doesn't lead you to feeling judged?
11:55
SPEAKER_07: That's a big question.
11:58
SPEAKER_01: What?
11:59
SPEAKER_01: Bridgie's got something.
12:00
SPEAKER_04: I think it's helpful to acknowledge that you're judging us.
12:04
SPEAKER_04: Like be like, like we already know that you're judging us, but it helps for you to be like, I'm judging you right now.
12:12
SPEAKER_04: I know that these are your own decisions, and I'm worried about the choices you're making.
12:17
SPEAKER_04: And instead of just being like, like implying implying it.
12:21
SPEAKER_04: Cause that's just like, yeah.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's so good because you're already reading reading our body language, reading our eyes.
12:28
SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, I think that is actually such an important thing for all of our listeners to know is that you our kids are sponges and they're so tuned in and they can feel everything.
12:39
SPEAKER_01: So if we don't label it, it actually can feel really confusing.
12:43
SPEAKER_03: Totally.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: Were you gonna say something, Sage?
12:45
SPEAKER_03: Um I don't know if this really has to do with judgment, but I feel like sometimes my mom doesn't always like fully like hear me when I'm trying to like speak my side of like an argument with like a test or something.
12:56
SPEAKER_03: And like obviously that's hard because you can't really like choose one of us, but I feel like sometimes like you don't totally like listen to my side, even if it like it makes more sense in a certain situation.
13:10
SPEAKER_01: That's so good to know.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: What do you think I do in those moments?
13:14
SPEAKER_03: Sometimes you just won't let me like finish what I'm talking about, and then you'll just start talking about what I did wrong in the situation, even though I probably had a reason for it.
13:25
SPEAKER_01: So there needs to be a little more room for validating what's going on for you in those moments.
13:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, or maybe just like before we talk about like why what I did was wrong, I could maybe like explain to you why like my reasoning behind it, because I'm not just gonna like like say something or do something out of nowhere.
13:45
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's good.
13:45
SPEAKER_07: It doesn't really make sense.
13:46
SPEAKER_07: Like the benefit of the doubt.
13:47
SPEAKER_07: I hear you saying you want your mom to give you the benefit of the doubt.
13:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I guess.
13:51
SPEAKER_03: And it kind of can connect to like other situations too.
13:53
SPEAKER_03: Like if I like to do something, like maybe I had like a reason for it.
13:57
SPEAKER_03: Like if something happened with something else.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: That's really helpful.
14:01
SPEAKER_01: What I'm hearing too for me is like when I'm refereeing you two, which is really exhausting for me lately, I am may I am rushing.
14:11
SPEAKER_01: I am not slowing down, I am not pausing enough first.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: Instead, I kind of just want it like to get resolved, maybe quicker than it needs to.
14:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but also like sometimes it doesn't need to get resolved because I just want you to like hear my side, like because like if you're needed to be like refereeing us, it's probably like we're really upset or like we actually like have a reason that we really like want you to be helping us.
14:36
SPEAKER_03: So I mean, like I guess just like pausing and like really thinking about both of us is like helpful for and like beneficial for us both.
14:44
SPEAKER_03: I agree with you.
14:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for that.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: That is really helpful.
14:49
SPEAKER_01: And I'm actually wondering if I maybe even need to stay out of it even more than I already do.
14:54
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
14:55
SPEAKER_01: With sibling stuff.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
14:57
SPEAKER_02: You say that.
14:59
SPEAKER_02: Um, I feel like I think that whenever like I don't know if this is just like me, but like I kind of feel like when I'm like need your help, you're like, I'm staying out of it.
15:11
SPEAKER_02: And then like when it's something that like I did wrong, then you're like then you're like get mad at me.
15:17
SPEAKER_02: But like when it's something that Sage did wrong, you're like just like I'll stay out of it.
15:22
SPEAKER_01: Interesting perspective.
15:24
SPEAKER_03: I think like test I think sometimes it's also more dad.
15:28
SPEAKER_03: Dad gets in the middle of it more than mom does.
15:31
SPEAKER_03: But like I agree, sometimes when we ask for your help, you're like too mad, or like you don't want us to be fighting, so then you just don't want to help us out.
15:39
SPEAKER_07: This is such an interesting dilemma, I think, as moms, because it has a lot to do with our moods, right?
15:45
SPEAKER_07: The truth is if I am feeling grounded and calm, I probably have a lot more tolerance to stay out of it and let you figure it out yourselves, Kinley and Bridger, than if I'm feeling irritated and annoyed.
16:00
SPEAKER_07: And then I'm more likely to jump in and be like, Really?
16:04
SPEAKER_07: Really, you guys?
16:05
SPEAKER_07: You're arguing about a t-shirt or whatever the thing is.
16:07
SPEAKER_07: But Bridger, you know what you say to me often?
16:10
SPEAKER_07: It actually makes me giggle.
16:12
SPEAKER_07: Bridger will be like, um, mom, I did mama, mommy, whatever.
16:17
SPEAKER_07: I didn't know that this was your problem or something.
16:20
SPEAKER_07: Do you know what I mean?
16:21
SPEAKER_07: Like sometimes you're like, uh, I didn't know this was about you.
16:25
SPEAKER_07: And I'm like, oh, right.
16:26
SPEAKER_07: It's not.
16:28
SPEAKER_04: I think it's like if we don't bring it up with you, that means we don't want to talk about it.
16:33
SPEAKER_04: But then at the same time, like if we go to you and like, say if I go to you and I say, Kinley's doing this and this, you might take that as like, oh, I'm complaining to you about Kinley.
16:44
SPEAKER_04: But really, that's me asking for help.
16:47
SPEAKER_04: Like, oh yeah, I agree with you.
16:48
SPEAKER_04: Like, if we if I go to you and I bring the argument up with you, that means I want you to intervene.
16:54
SPEAKER_04: If I don't and I don't say anything about it to you directly, that's like just I'll figure it out myself.
17:01
SPEAKER_04: I have to say something about that.
17:03
SPEAKER_01: Because I actually feel like you girls bring me in often around your fighting.
17:09
SPEAKER_01: And and I'm not sure how to like actually get it right because I'm either not I'm either not helpful or getting mad or getting over involved.
17:20
SPEAKER_01: Like, this is a really tricky one.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to say something?
17:23
SPEAKER_02: Well, like I agree with Bridger mom when I come down and I'm like Sage did this or whatever, and then you hear Sage yelling from upstairs, like she's like stop tattling or something like that, then like I feel like like I agree with Bridger when I say something like that and I tell you that's not just tattling, that's like I want like you to help resolve it.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: That's like how you would know.
17:45
SPEAKER_02: I'm not I'm not gonna come down and be like, will you help us with this fight?
17:49
SPEAKER_02: I'm just like not gonna say that.
17:51
SPEAKER_07: I have a c I actually would like to request that you do.
17:54
SPEAKER_07: I my my request is that if you want help that you come in and you say, Hey, can I have help with this?
18:00
SPEAKER_05: I think that's what I say sometimes.
18:04
SPEAKER_05: Say more.
18:05
SPEAKER_05: I mean, if Bridgie's doing something, I'll come in and be like, Bridgie did this, what should I do?
18:11
SPEAKER_05: Or like, can you help me with this?
18:13
SPEAKER_05: Because I've told her multiple times to not do it and she's still not listening.
18:17
SPEAKER_07: So my heart softens, and I am much more interested in showing up in an in a disagreement like that if you're directly asking me for help.
18:26
SPEAKER_07: And I will say that's a big thing that Deb and I talk about on here is like, where is our personal responsibility for getting what we want and need?
18:33
SPEAKER_07: And and you know, I I think maybe I'm maybe I sound more defensive than I mean to, but I think that as moms, there are there's a lot of arguing that happens in sibling argument.
18:45
SPEAKER_07: And we don't always know what the right thing to do is.
18:48
SPEAKER_07: So I would just like to request that if you really do want help, that you lead with that.
18:52
SPEAKER_07: Hey, can you help with this?
18:53
SPEAKER_04: I honestly think that the best thing to say, instead of like being like, oh, why did you do this?
19:01
SPEAKER_04: Why did you do that?
19:02
SPEAKER_04: Like, I don't know, just to be like like this argument resulted in something that both of you did, and it's not it wasn't one person or the other, and you both need to accept that and accept that it was your part too, instead of being like, like, oh Kinley, why did you do that?
19:19
SPEAKER_04: Like, I just think that results in the other person feeling like like you're not recognizing their side.
19:26
SPEAKER_07: And to your point, it always takes two.
19:29
SPEAKER_07: Every conflict always takes two.
19:31
SPEAKER_07: I'm wondering if there's another topic we want to dive into here.
19:35
SPEAKER_07: Yes, siblings can go around and round.
19:37
SPEAKER_01: Um, why don't we give someone else?
19:39
SPEAKER_01: Because you did yours.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: Um, who wants to go next?
19:43
SPEAKER_01: Something that's working.
19:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, you did use.
19:48
SPEAKER_05: Oh, something that's working is if I this is kind of like the problem thing, but different.
19:53
SPEAKER_05: If I have a problem, I'll talk to my mom about it and she'll kind of help me resolve it and be like, like with my friend problems, she'll help me with that, or all that stuff.
20:04
SPEAKER_05: And it that's really nice because you listen to me and like support me when I need help.
20:08
SPEAKER_05: So awesome.
20:11
SPEAKER_07: And then you know, the four of you are we've done this before.
20:14
SPEAKER_07: You guys are such great.
20:16
SPEAKER_07: I hope you all four know that you can practice with each other, right?
20:20
SPEAKER_07: Like this is the the cr the beauty of uh the Krubins, or for anyone who has good family friends or good friends, you know, they're your kids that have good friends that you trust, that you can practice having hard conversations with each other.
20:32
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
20:33
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: What is something working for you?
20:35
SPEAKER_03: Um, something that's working for me is that lately you've been like helping me out with like for me, like I'm like a freshman this year, and like there's been like a lot of new transitions, and you've been like pretty helpful with like helping me like send an email like it's like my guidance counselor when one of my teachers like wasn't helping me out or like packing my lunch for me, like if I didn't have time to do it in the morning, and that's just been like really nice lately because there's been like a lot more change this year, and just like getting used to it, you've been like helpful.
21:07
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
21:08
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's a good reminder that during transitions sometimes for that I know that I need my rules to get a little um softer.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: You know, that and I think for any of us when we're kind of going through a harder time, we need the our moms to take care of us in a little different way.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's such a good reminder of we have that capability, especially when someone like Kate and I, we we're really big fans of grit and doing things yourself and really getting it done.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's a good reminder that our girls actually need a lot of learning still.
21:46
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, this comes up in our house around rides.
21:49
SPEAKER_07: Would you guys agree?
21:51
SPEAKER_07: Wanting a ride to or from school, and I'm like, you can walk.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: You can walk.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: Same in our house.
22:01
SPEAKER_04: Um I would say like like when you just like ask simple questions like how are you?
22:11
SPEAKER_04: Stuff like that, instead of like going to more complicated questions that I might not want to answer.
22:17
SPEAKER_04: Just like every day asking how I am and like how my day was when I get home from school.
22:22
SPEAKER_04: Like I think that's good.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: That's really good to know.
22:25
SPEAKER_07: That's so helpful.
22:27
SPEAKER_07: We're doing a good job.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: We're doing alright.
22:29
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
22:30
SPEAKER_05: Yes, Kinley has something.
22:32
SPEAKER_05: I have another thing.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: Great.
22:34
SPEAKER_05: You're really flexible with things.
22:36
SPEAKER_05: Oh.
22:36
SPEAKER_05: Like having a bunch of friends over.
22:40
SPEAKER_07: Say more.
22:41
SPEAKER_07: What do you mean?
22:42
SPEAKER_05: Well, you know what I mean.
22:43
SPEAKER_05: Like the other night.
22:45
SPEAKER_05: Um these people don't know what you mean.
22:47
SPEAKER_05: Oh, sorry.
22:48
SPEAKER_05: Um, the other night, well, if I asked to have like, can all these people come over tonight?
22:52
SPEAKER_05: You'll be like, sure.
22:53
SPEAKER_05: Like, you let me have parties, but like parties.
22:57
SPEAKER_07: Right.
22:57
SPEAKER_07: So let's talk about that for a minute because this is how this is a stage of parenting that Deb and I are both new at, which is the parenting during teenage years.
23:06
SPEAKER_07: So can you let our listeners know?
23:10
SPEAKER_07: Explain to them that what is it, what does it look like in our house for me and daddy to say yes, but to also hold boundaries around that?
23:20
SPEAKER_07: What do you mean?
23:21
SPEAKER_07: Well, you had a party on Friday, but what did we say about the party?
23:25
SPEAKER_05: You said there was no drinking or smoking at the house.
23:28
SPEAKER_07: Right.
23:28
SPEAKER_07: And so what was it like for you to let your friends know that?
23:32
SPEAKER_05: It was fine.
23:34
SPEAKER_05: I mean, because you're so flexible with all that stuff, all my friends are like in love with you.
23:39
SPEAKER_05: Oh.
23:39
SPEAKER_07: That's a good idea.
23:41
SPEAKER_05: Teenage friends be in love with me.
23:43
SPEAKER_05: Well, not like in love, but they like they like love you.
23:46
SPEAKER_05: Like they're like, your mom's so cool.
23:48
SPEAKER_07: Well, that kind of moves into one of our other questions.
23:51
SPEAKER_07: And maybe we could just take that and we can come back to these two.
23:54
SPEAKER_07: But what do you what do you think, what do you love about other people's moms?
24:02
SPEAKER_07: What makes someone else's mom l lovable for lack of a different term?
24:09
SPEAKER_05: Snacks.
24:11
SPEAKER_05: So that is what I was gonna say.
24:13
SPEAKER_05: Snacks.
24:14
SPEAKER_05: Always having good food.
24:15
SPEAKER_04: That's yeah.
24:16
SPEAKER_04: Having good food and also like being funny.
24:19
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
24:20
SPEAKER_07: Like how funny how.
24:22
SPEAKER_05: I don't know, just like not taking things too seriously.
24:26
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
24:28
SPEAKER_04: And also good too.
24:29
SPEAKER_02: And also just like making it like like chill, like making the house like chill, like when my friends walk in, like just like not like being like really like, you know, like this is not what you guys are, but like super like bossy and stuff, like and like I mean bossing us around and stuff, and like like just like so it's like a good environment.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: So my friends will want to come back.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, can I come home?
24:54
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so like this is kind of an example.
24:57
SPEAKER_03: Like, you guys don't do this, which makes me really happy.
24:59
SPEAKER_03: I've been at this person's house one time, their mom was so strict, like and I so understand like how having like hard rules, but this mom was like very strict, like about like devices and like shoes, and like where in the house we could go and like what we could eat, and like that's all fine, like I respect that, but like you guys kind of have your boundaries, but you also are like casual about it, and you can like be flexible if like someone's really hungry or something like that, and you can like help my friends like not feel like scared to be around you.
25:36
SPEAKER_07: I'm sort of laughing, sage, because if someone asked me about the things that I felt the most strict about, I would say devices, shoes in the house, right?
25:48
SPEAKER_07: Like, I don't know that I have anything about food, but it's so interesting.
25:51
SPEAKER_07: Help help us and our listeners know, like, what do we do about this?
25:57
SPEAKER_07: Let's talk about the device thing for a moment.
25:59
SPEAKER_07: Can we do that?
26:00
SPEAKER_06: Can we say something?
26:01
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, yeah.
26:02
SPEAKER_07: I want to and I want to just yes, you can.
26:04
SPEAKER_07: And I want to come back to this question about devices and what does it look like?
26:08
SPEAKER_07: Like, how do you feel supported by us when it comes to devices?
26:13
SPEAKER_07: And what do you what frustrates you?
26:16
SPEAKER_07: But you can say whatever you want to say first, and then we can come back to that question.
26:18
SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, it's kind of like to that question a little bit too.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: So, like, you guys don't do this.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: Like, I feel like when we were first getting phones, like you guys were talking about how like there was gonna be like like a basket and stuff that would that would be at the front.
26:31
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know if that happens for you guys, like at your house, like still, does it?
26:36
SPEAKER_02: No.
26:36
SPEAKER_02: No.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: So like honestly, I feel like that's like better because I know that you guys say that if we're just on our phones and stuff, then we're not really together.
26:44
SPEAKER_02: But when I'm with my friends and we're like on our phones or we're like doing something together that's on a phone, we like are together and we're like talking while we do it, and it's like it's kind of like a way to bond, and like I feel like like you guys like didn't really have that as kids.
27:01
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm not saying that you're like old, but like you guys didn't really like we're old.
27:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you didn't really have that as kids, and like you just I know that you guys don't like fully understand, but like I think that like we just need to like fully tell you like right now.
27:14
SPEAKER_01: That is really helpful.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: I think that is something that we as moms are always learning that we have no idea what it's like to grow up with these kinds of device availability.
27:24
SPEAKER_01: And that you're right.
27:27
SPEAKER_01: I do think when you're all sitting there looking at your phones, you're not connecting, but you're saying this is a version of connection right now.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: It's not like we're texting each other and we're sitting there, but you're like watching something together or okay, yeah, sure.
27:40
SPEAKER_02: Well no, no, it's like oh so even if we are watching something like together, like we're still like talking, we're still together and stuff, and then if we're just like, I don't know, like on our phones, we're still together.
27:52
SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't have a specific like thing, but you know, like yeah.
27:56
SPEAKER_05: I mean, I was talking to my teacher about this the other day.
28:00
SPEAKER_05: We were we had like a class discussion about it, and it's like us like our generation is the first generation to have like iPhones when we are teenagers, so it's like everyone's learning new things, but also with COVID, that was our way of communication.
28:16
SPEAKER_05: So we're just like so used to like communicating with people online now that that's kind of just what we go to.
28:22
SPEAKER_05: So it might not it might look like we're on our phones a lot, but we're just talking to our friends, like it's like and I'd say for me, like if we're having like a family thing, I won't be on my phone, but like at times when I can be, I'll like be talking to some friends.
28:40
SPEAKER_05: So it's kind of like when you're like Kenley, put down your phone, when like we're not doing anything, I don't really see what the problem is.
28:48
SPEAKER_04: I think it's also like while like of course we wanna have like no phone rules, and like we wanna have like the most unstrict parenting, like it's important to have rules because like when I'm older, like I'm sure I'm gonna be really glad that I haven't had any social media up until this point.
29:09
SPEAKER_04: Thank you, Bridget.
29:10
SPEAKER_07: This conversation, I'm just gonna put myself out there and say, is very cringy to me.
29:14
SPEAKER_07: This is very like my tummy is tight because I really honor and hear what you're saying, and it makes so much sense to me.
29:24
SPEAKER_07: And I'm scared shitless of social media.
29:27
SPEAKER_07: You know, it's like I wanna both bless you, I wanna both make space for this new generation of connecting, and uh-uh.
29:37
SPEAKER_01: And we know that it really is harmful for my own.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: I feel like this is really this is like a hard.
29:43
SPEAKER_07: And I don't mean you're not saying anything that is that you're not saying anything that is cringy worthy.
29:48
SPEAKER_07: I just mean that my tummy, this is like a very tricky, tricky place.
29:53
SPEAKER_03: Um, something that triggers me about social media and like Tess and I, you guys tend to only learn about the bad things about it, and that like triggers most of your rules about it.
30:11
SPEAKER_03: So it's kind of hard for me sometimes because I often feel like I don't really know, like your rules are stricter than other people's rules, and like I totally understand like those bad things, but they're also good things about it too.
30:25
SPEAKER_03: And I feel like in moderation it's not as scary.
30:29
SPEAKER_03: Like, and you can choose like how out there you are with social media, which can make it like safer for you.
30:36
SPEAKER_03: And like you can be more safe with yourself, and then it's not actually harmful for your like mental health if you choose how you are with it.
30:45
SPEAKER_03: I think.
30:46
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for this insight and feedback.
30:50
SPEAKER_01: And we are learning as we go, and I think for us as moms and all our moms listening, we want you to know that it is our job to help you navigate through this, and so there's maybe wiggle room on our end, there's definitely wiggle room on yours, and I think that we just have to stay committed to understanding that we're figuring this out.
31:10
SPEAKER_07: Totally.
31:12
SPEAKER_07: Okay, who's next?
31:14
SPEAKER_07: For what?
31:15
SPEAKER_07: For any question that you wrote down, something that's working, that's not working, Bridget.
31:20
SPEAKER_04: I think that like also, like, we may be kids, but I personally want to know about like interesting stuff.
31:30
SPEAKER_04: Like, if there's something interesting that you learn like in your day, I want to hear it.
31:34
SPEAKER_04: Oh, say my thing.
31:35
SPEAKER_04: Like, even if it's like you might be like, like, oh, it's some random like thing, like she's 13, she doesn't really care, but like, I don't know, I might care about it.
31:47
SPEAKER_06: So that's awesome.
31:49
SPEAKER_04: Like having like real conversations too, instead of just like, I don't know, mom-daughter conversations.
31:57
unknown: Can I say that?
31:58
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
31:58
SPEAKER_07: That's profound.
32:00
SPEAKER_07: Who knew that?
32:01
SPEAKER_07: Who knew that?
32:02
SPEAKER_01: Bridget drops the profound bombs often.
32:08
SPEAKER_07: I will say, Bridget, that that like really that it that it really feels good to hear you say that.
32:14
SPEAKER_07: I honestly never knew you were that interested.
32:16
SPEAKER_01: Do does anyone else want to know more about our lives?
32:22
SPEAKER_03: Speak.
32:23
SPEAKER_01: Do you?
32:24
SPEAKER_03: Sometimes I do, but sometimes I don't, so it's like tricky.
32:27
SPEAKER_03: Like sometimes dad will be having a conversation with me, and then he'll just be talking for so long that I lose interest.
32:34
SPEAKER_03: But that's dad.
32:36
SPEAKER_03: But you um, I mean, I don't know.
32:40
SPEAKER_03: I feel like it kind of depends on the situation, so that's tricky.
32:43
SPEAKER_07: I feel like I do tell you a lot.
32:45
SPEAKER_07: What do you guys not want to hear about?
32:48
SPEAKER_07: That's an interesting question.
32:49
SPEAKER_07: What do you like?
32:50
SPEAKER_07: What are the things that sometimes we talk about in our lives that you're like that are qu cringe worthy for you?
32:56
SPEAKER_02: Something cringe worthy for me is um when you guys, like, I don't know, when you say something like at least my mom, when you say something like new that you learned about mothering.
33:07
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know.
33:09
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'm sorry, but like I just we're so proud of our mothering test.
33:14
SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't know, I don't know how to explain it really.
33:17
SPEAKER_02: Like sorry.
33:18
SPEAKER_02: Okay, go ahead, go ahead.
33:19
SPEAKER_02: Like, I no, like it kind of depends also, but like, um, if you I don't know, it's kind of hard to explain sometimes, like when you say something um like I don't even know, but like okay, wait, can we cut this out?
33:36
SPEAKER_01: She'll cut out whatever she needs to need to keep saying.
33:39
SPEAKER_01: So, but you don't like when I tell you things about what specifically about mothering.
33:46
SPEAKER_02: No, it's just like kind of make it's kind of weird because I'm because it's like you're telling me how you're gonna mother me, and I don't know, it's just kinda like awkward sometimes.
33:54
SPEAKER_02: That's kind of but like I also what?
33:58
SPEAKER_01: Laughing.
34:00
SPEAKER_01: Alright, can we cut that whole thing out?
34:03
SPEAKER_01: Alright, Kimley.
34:05
SPEAKER_02: You said to be honest.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: You said to be honest, no, you're great, you're great.
34:10
SPEAKER_01: That just got clunky.
34:11
SPEAKER_01: That got do you want to try and say it again?
34:13
SPEAKER_07: No, you just have to remember that there are people listening, but we need to make sure they're following what you're saying.
34:18
SPEAKER_07: I think we just need to say like less.
34:20
SPEAKER_07: Well, it doesn't matter.
34:21
SPEAKER_07: Just just you have to just try to describe things so that other people that don't know you would know what you were saying.
34:27
SPEAKER_07: Okay, yeah, maybe just cut that whole thing out.
34:30
SPEAKER_01: What do you how about what if some things you wish were different?
34:45
SPEAKER_03: Oh good.
34:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh wait, a wish?
34:49
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, sorry.
34:50
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, I have a wish.
34:52
SPEAKER_03: I was reading the wrong thing.
34:53
SPEAKER_03: Um sometimes I wish that we were clearer about like rules, like specifically due to money.
35:00
SPEAKER_03: Um, so my mom will make me pay for things that aren't needs often, but sometimes the lines get blurry about what is a need and what is not a need.
35:10
SPEAKER_03: Like the other day, actually, this was this morning, um, she didn't want to pay for like pimple patches, but like I think that's a need, but she didn't.
35:18
SPEAKER_03: So I feel like we should have more clear like lines about that.
35:23
SPEAKER_02: I think that that's definitely a need, but something that could be a little more tricky is like this morning we went to Target and we got like some concealer, and like my mom, like, you don't love makeup.
35:34
SPEAKER_02: Um but sometimes it is kind of like it could be a need, but it could be a want.
35:39
SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't really know.
35:41
SPEAKER_04: It's kind of a hard line, but like you did buy it, so there's also times when like I'll go like out with my friends like to eat or something, and like maybe there's one day when you're like in a good mood and you're like, oh, here's ten dollars for your dinner, but then like the next day you're like, no, that's that's something that you're doing by yourself.
36:05
SPEAKER_04: I'm not gonna pay for that.
36:06
SPEAKER_04: So I just wish we had like more like consistent like boundaries of like what you would pay for instead of it being based off your mood.
36:14
SPEAKER_07: This is so good.
36:16
SPEAKER_07: This is so good, and it's so interesting because we do have some in our family, we have pretty strong lines, right?
36:23
SPEAKER_07: Like the girls get a they get a regular allowance and it's a fair amount of money, and that the expectation is that they're going to be spending their own money on things that have to do with their own wants.
36:37
SPEAKER_07: So for that point.
36:39
SPEAKER_07: Where you're saying it's not consistent, I think, Bridger, is that like sometimes they'll be like, hey, sure, I'll treat your you and your friends to dinner.
36:45
SPEAKER_07: And other times they'll be like, nope, you have to pay for that.
36:49
SPEAKER_07: I don't know.
36:49
SPEAKER_07: Is that really something I need to change?
36:51
SPEAKER_07: That feels kind of tough.
36:53
SPEAKER_07: Deb, come on, come on, back me up here.
36:55
SPEAKER_07: I got your back, girl.
36:57
SPEAKER_04: The difference is that sometimes you're like, like, I get that, like, you can be like, sure, um, I'll treat you to some dinner with your friends.
37:05
SPEAKER_04: And sometimes you can be like, no, today you're gonna pay for that.
37:09
SPEAKER_04: But the difference is like when you make me pay for it, you say like, no, you already know this.
37:17
SPEAKER_04: You pay for stuff that you do with your friends, when like really that's not always so consistent.
37:22
SPEAKER_01: So you're saying that sometimes the energy around it is actually like doesn't feel so good.
37:27
SPEAKER_04: It's like it's like a rule, but like sometimes it's not a rule.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, yes, that is so true.
37:35
SPEAKER_01: So wow, fickle.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of fickle.
37:43
SPEAKER_01: We're so imperfect.
37:45
SPEAKER_01: We're so imperfect.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think that that you are saying really, really valuable things.
37:52
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
37:53
SPEAKER_01: And I'm actually also really having so much like empathy and grace for us.
38:00
SPEAKER_07: Our job is so darn hard.
38:02
SPEAKER_01: Mothering is so hard, you're never gonna get it right.
38:05
SPEAKER_01: Let's face it.
38:06
SPEAKER_01: I mean, sometimes you want rules, sometimes you want us to be easygoing, sometimes like you you want us to help, sometimes you want us to stay out of it.
38:15
SPEAKER_01: Like, I think this is actually really informative that no matter how we do it, like it's someone's needs are not gonna be met.
38:25
SPEAKER_01: And that is actually maybe that is the heart of a parent-child relationship.
38:32
SPEAKER_07: Absolutely.
38:34
SPEAKER_07: I think it's probably time to wrap this up.
38:37
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
38:37
SPEAKER_07: But I'm wondering if we could end with some humor.
38:42
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
38:42
SPEAKER_07: Can we end with some humor?
38:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm wondering like about it.
38:45
SPEAKER_07: What no, I don't not even that you like.
38:47
SPEAKER_07: Here's what I want.
38:49
SPEAKER_07: I would love to hear some, like if you guys are ranging in ages from almost 16 to almost 13, right?
39:00
SPEAKER_07: 12.
39:01
SPEAKER_07: Almost 12.
39:02
SPEAKER_07: So she is 12.
39:03
SPEAKER_07: I know, but almost 13.
39:04
SPEAKER_07: So so here's what I want to say.
39:07
SPEAKER_07: In all of your years of being mothered by us in this kind of crew that we're in, who has a funny story to tell?
39:16
unknown: I do.
39:17
SPEAKER_03: Great.
39:18
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I don't know if you guys told this on your podcast already.
39:21
SPEAKER_03: Doesn't matter.
39:21
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
39:22
SPEAKER_03: When Kinley and I, how old were we?
39:25
SPEAKER_03: I don't know which story I'm gonna tell.
39:26
SPEAKER_05: What about the tablets?
39:28
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
39:29
SPEAKER_05: You don't remember.
39:30
SPEAKER_05: We were like two.
39:30
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
39:31
SPEAKER_03: I don't actually really remember this, but it sounds like it was funny.
39:36
SPEAKER_03: Um when Kinley and I were like two and three, um, Tess was like teething at the time, and me and Kinley ate the entire jar of teething tablets while Tess was taking a nap.
39:48
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, that was two.
39:49
SPEAKER_03: And apparently it was really funny because you guys were like really panicked because we said, because we walked out of the bathroom and we said, we ate all the vitamin C.
39:59
SPEAKER_03: And then you guys were really scared and you like called the doctor, and we ended up being fine.
40:04
SPEAKER_01: But you guys were up to no good.
40:06
SPEAKER_01: It was New Year's Eve, and you did eat an entire bottle of homeopathic teething tablets.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, that was our first wake-up of ooh, these two might be trouble.
40:17
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
40:17
SPEAKER_01: Okay, go.
40:18
SPEAKER_05: Kinley, I have another funny story.
40:20
SPEAKER_05: Camp Kruben.
40:22
SPEAKER_05: Oh, the day with the day with my mother.
40:28
SPEAKER_05: Oh she took us to um where did you took us to this like random deserted river that it was so scary.
40:38
SPEAKER_05: Yes, she put us on a solo.
40:40
SPEAKER_05: It was really hot.
40:41
SPEAKER_05: There were a bunch of mosquitoes.
40:44
SPEAKER_05: It was so boring.
40:45
SPEAKER_05: It was like the I have to say, it was the not the best camp crew in camp crew in day.
40:52
SPEAKER_03: We were really hungry and we were all like summer and like bitten up at the end.
40:57
SPEAKER_05: So tough.
40:57
SPEAKER_02: You're so tough.
40:58
SPEAKER_03: And also, also not really.
41:00
SPEAKER_02: Also, there was this like really, really, really big mosquito that kept following me.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: And it was so scary.
41:07
SPEAKER_03: And Kay was like sitting, like, I don't know, maybe like across the street, someone she was just like reading her book and chilling out.
41:16
SPEAKER_03: I have a good memory.
41:17
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
41:20
SPEAKER_01: Cool, that thought.
41:21
SPEAKER_01: Um, just the other night, we were all just the six of us were having dinner.
41:25
SPEAKER_01: We were all sitting in the living room and we had like the best conversation.
41:29
SPEAKER_01: We were talking about friendships and like well, that's it.
41:33
SPEAKER_01: And um, and it was so great.
41:35
SPEAKER_01: That was a great memory for me.
41:37
SPEAKER_01: That was a great moment.
41:38
SPEAKER_01: And everyone was engaged, and I think we were doing good.
41:43
SPEAKER_01: That was a good moment.
41:45
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so basically, mine's also about Camp Krubin, but basically, um, so it was the last day.
41:52
SPEAKER_02: Hold that thought.
41:53
SPEAKER_07: I just want to explain what Camp Kruben is.
41:54
SPEAKER_07: Oh, yeah.
41:55
SPEAKER_07: So during the during the pandemic, the girls' sleepaway camps were canceled.
42:00
SPEAKER_07: And so the Rubens and the Kripkeys had Camp Krubin up in the mountains for four weeks, where we were the counselors, the four parents were the counselors, and the four kids were the campers, and it was the best Camp Krubin experience.
42:15
SPEAKER_01: And we were all working from home, so we would take one parent would take a day and to take the kids on an adventure, and we rotated days.
42:22
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
42:22
SPEAKER_02: And there was this um, there was this award at the end called Golden Leaf.
42:28
SPEAKER_02: This is only one of what?
42:30
SPEAKER_02: It's a big one.
42:30
SPEAKER_07: Keep going.
42:31
SPEAKER_02: Keep going.
42:32
SPEAKER_02: Keep going.
42:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, I have a different one.
42:33
SPEAKER_02: Cut this out.
42:34
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
42:35
SPEAKER_02: So this is about Camp Kruman.
42:37
SPEAKER_02: It was the last um day, and we had color war, and um there were two teams, the red.
42:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh wait, three.
42:43
SPEAKER_02: Red, um, blue, and green.
42:47
SPEAKER_02: No, just randomly.
42:48
SPEAKER_02: I thought there was a green.
42:49
SPEAKER_02: Okay, anyways.
42:50
SPEAKER_07: That was those who were imaginary friends too.
42:54
SPEAKER_02: Okay, whatever.
42:55
SPEAKER_02: Anyways, um, so it was like a very competitive thing, and it went the whole day, and it was like pretty Because our team was the best one.
43:04
SPEAKER_02: No.
43:05
SPEAKER_02: Wait.
43:05
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
43:06
SPEAKER_02: No, we won.
43:06
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so it was very it was kind of tied, like the whole way, right?
43:12
SPEAKER_02: And um, there were like a bunch of different activities like all over the mountain and stuff like that.
43:17
SPEAKER_02: And then um at the end, um there was like one contest that was like kind of the tiebreaker.
43:26
SPEAKER_02: And it was like how big you could cannonball into the pool, and how big of a splash you could get.
43:33
SPEAKER_02: And um, so like we it was really good, and then um Bridget was a little emotional that day.
43:41
SPEAKER_03: Bridget really wanted to win.
43:44
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so Bridget was a little emotional that day, and she was like, there that team was losing a little bit, and um, she really wanted to win.
43:52
SPEAKER_02: But then then um my cannonball was bigger than Bridgie's, so that was the very end, and they announced the winner.
44:00
SPEAKER_02: And right as they said that the red team won, she was like, my toe.
44:08
SPEAKER_02: And she's just falling in her eyes out in the pool.
44:11
SPEAKER_03: She was like, my toe, where's my toe?
44:13
SPEAKER_03: And she used to blame.
44:14
SPEAKER_02: She was blaming it on her toe.
44:16
SPEAKER_02: And that was just like a really funny memory.
44:18
SPEAKER_02: Like it was really sad in the moment and I felt really bad.
44:20
SPEAKER_02: Even though I was really happy we won.
44:21
SPEAKER_02: But like it's just so funny because you were blaming it on your toe.
44:25
SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
44:27
SPEAKER_04: Okay, so one time we were like all hanging out, and then um Sage used to like make us like wedding dresses out of like sheets.
44:37
SPEAKER_04: Sheets and safety pins, and we'd all get dressed in wedding dresses and have and have like royal weddings.
44:44
SPEAKER_04: Um one time.
44:46
SPEAKER_04: I didn't even know why we were all laughing so hard, but one time we were all dressed up in our wedding dresses and we were having weddings, and then we just all started laughing really hard, and we like all peed our pants.
44:59
SPEAKER_07: Any closing thoughts for our listeners around being teenagers, around being mothered?
45:06
SPEAKER_07: Any last-minute words of wisdom?
45:10
SPEAKER_03: We're both trying our best in that we should give each other the benefits of the doubts because we're really close and it it can be hard, but we both do the best we can.
45:20
SPEAKER_02: Okay, this is kind of part of my wish, because I never said that.
45:23
SPEAKER_02: But um, just like a little less like judgy about some things, like um, like a little example of the nails.
45:29
SPEAKER_02: Like, um, I don't know, just I know you're very like um flexible with that, but also just like listen to our part too.
45:37
SPEAKER_02: Like, I know you do, just like yeah, a little like less judgy about that, because I know that you don't like nail polish and stuff like that, but like we do, so yeah.
45:44
SPEAKER_05: But I love you.
45:45
SPEAKER_05: Love you.
45:46
SPEAKER_05: I just want to say a lot of times us kids, we just want to do our thing.
45:52
SPEAKER_05: We don't always wanna be mother not like mothered, but just like told what to do.
45:59
SPEAKER_05: So, like a lot of times we know what we're doing and kind of just let us do it and let us do our thing and we'll be good.
46:06
SPEAKER_07: Like let you make your own mistakes.
46:10
SPEAKER_05: I mean, yeah, just kind of like we'll come to you for help if we want it.
46:15
SPEAKER_07: She's saying stay the F away, is what she's saying.
46:18
SPEAKER_07: I think what she's saying is like just let us be kids.
46:24
SPEAKER_03: We're gonna do the best we can, even though we're gonna mess up too.
46:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:28
SPEAKER_04: Also, just be a cool mom.
46:29
SPEAKER_07: We are cool moms.
46:30
SPEAKER_07: We just got schooled.
46:32
SPEAKER_07: Yes, we did.
46:34
SPEAKER_07: Here's what I want to say.
46:35
SPEAKER_07: As much as you and I just got schooled today, the fact is that our four tea essentially four teenage daughters just sat here in public and talked to us about mothering.
46:47
SPEAKER_07: And I just want to say that that says a lot.
46:49
SPEAKER_07: And of course we're making a million mistakes, and of course they're not gonna like everything we do, but the fact is that they showed up for this.
46:56
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
46:56
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
46:57
SPEAKER_07: Three cheers.
46:58
SPEAKER_01: Three cheers.
47:01
SPEAKER_01: And the other thing is you're not supposed to like everything we do.
47:04
SPEAKER_07: No, and that would be weird.
47:05
SPEAKER_07: Wouldn't that be weird if they liked everything we did?
47:07
SPEAKER_01: We're we're your moms, not your friends, and we love you so much.
47:12
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for showing up, you four.
47:13
SPEAKER_01: Love you, mom.
47:14
SPEAKER_01: Love you, love you.
47:16
SPEAKER_01: You love you.
47:17
SPEAKER_01: Hey Deb.
47:18
SPEAKER_01: Love you.
47:18
SPEAKER_07: I think you're an awesome mom.
47:19
SPEAKER_01: I think you're an awesome mom.
47:20
SPEAKER_07: I wish you were my mom.
47:21
SPEAKER_01: Dido.
47:22
SPEAKER_07: Love you.
47:23
SPEAKER_01: Love you.
47:25
SPEAKER_07: Bye.