Latest / DA CREW Podcast / SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_BONUS EPISODE _77_ HOST LATONYA MICHELLE LITTLEJOHN

Transcript

SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_BONUS EPISODE _77_ HOST LATONYA MICHELLE LITTLEJOHN · DA CREW Podcast

0:05
Ours, Oh things and what they used to be? Where did all the
0:16
blue Skys but boys, mister Bloats from the North, somethings, whaursings,
0:31
all things and what they used to be. Aspiring Authors Magazine is a founding
0:41
sponsor for Doc Crew podcast. Get featured inside the magazine and allow your voice
0:47
to be heard around the world. Aspiring Authors Magazine is an international magazine founded
0:52
in May of twenty twenty by Queen Angela. Get featured at Wings of Transformation
1:03
Publishing. We are committed to helping our authors reach their goals and pursue their
1:07
dreams of becoming published authors. We work closely with each author to ensure a
1:12
successful publishing experience, and we are dedicated to helping them tell their stories in
1:19
the most meaningful and impactful ways. We look forward to putting you on the
1:23
path to writing your book. To every second Monday and for a Friday of
1:41
each money. This is that you don't want to miss. Good evening,
2:39
Good evening, good evening. Welcome to another episode of Delay but Not Denied
2:45
the podcast, Season two, episode seventy seven. Tonight, I had to
2:53
run it back. I have my cousin, my very first guest mister Michael
3:00
Mike Yates Senior. But before I bring him up, I would just like
3:06
for you to hear these words and meditate on them. God grant me the
3:13
serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I
3:19
can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Just meditate on that for
3:24
a while. And while you do that, we're going to bring up my
3:29
guess. Mister Mike Yates Senior. Hey, how's it going. It's good?
3:43
How are you great? Great? Thanks for having me back. Congratulations
3:47
absolutely, congratulations on season one. I see that through up to the seventy
3:53
eighth episode seventy seven on season two. Congratulations, thank you. Thank you
4:02
so for the people who may not know you or the ones that saw you
4:11
on my very first episode. Could you introduce yourself? Where did I start?
4:16
It's kind of complex. My name is Mike Out of Columbus, Ohio,
4:21
forty years old, serial entrepreneur, devoted father, grandfather, you know,
4:30
try to live my life the best way is possible by doing right by
4:33
others. Absolutely. Absolutely. The last time we chat, we were talking
4:43
about building and leaving a legacy. Okay, what does that look like for
4:51
you? In twenty twenty four. You know what, So my legacy is
4:59
going great. There's a lot of things that I understand now that I didn't
5:06
really understand then. And I don't believe the first time that I came on
5:14
your show was I married. Ory. Okay, so I've been married.
5:19
I just got married last year. Uh, congratulations, thank you. And
5:28
so you know, when we had that conversation about legacy, it looked a
5:31
little different for me, all right. I was blind to a lot of
5:36
things. And you know what I'm about to say sound like a cliche,
5:40
but it's not. A man in his legacy is much better with a woman.
5:47
You know. I'm not saying that because I'm a year into my marriage.
5:50
I'm saying it because you know, I really understand it now. I
5:55
in the past year, everything good or great I thought I was doing,
5:59
or people who would look at me and think it was good or great,
6:02
it's so much more. It's so much more with a woman to share your
6:06
same vision and willing to build with you. It's just different. My legacy
6:12
looks good, the kids are great. We're just in a great space.
6:15
And you know, I'm not gonna lie. A lot of people come on
6:19
podcasts and lie and the fact like they got all the answers as you know,
6:24
and probably whoever is watching, and we're in we're in tough financial times
6:28
right times is rough, very and and I'm not saying that I'm I'm exempt
6:39
from that, because I'm not. But with a woman that shares your same
6:43
thoughts and patterns and you, it's easy to grow in hard times, all
6:50
right. You know there's uh you know people farmers can refer to it as
6:56
droughts, and you know your crops brow when you got a good woman,
7:00
you could plant your sees. It may not be a lot of rain,
7:03
but everything is still growing. It's everything is still growing and you're gonna nourish
7:08
it. She's gonna nourish it. And we can see it. We can
7:12
see it may not grow as fast as it was whatever it is, m
7:15
hm. But you do it by theirself to some degree or selfish because you
7:24
know you need that. You need a partner, no matter no matter which
7:28
your partner is or who they is, you just need a partner. Your
7:30
life is so much easier. So my legacy is going great. The kids
7:35
are great. My daughter just re enlisted in the military. She's gonna take
7:40
it. She's gonna take it to the twenty years. I have a daughter
7:43
who graduated from college since the last time we talked. My son he's gonna
7:46
try to graduate from college this year. So I mean, things are going
7:50
good. That's been and then I got a first grader going to the second
7:57
Oh, that is off. That is awesome. I witnessed the proposal and
8:05
the marriage on Facebook. Beautiful, beautiful. That was absolutely beautiful. A
8:15
lot of people think that men don't take time out to be spontaneous in a
8:20
way. You know that, that's like that. You had the missus shook.
8:26
She didn't know what was going on. How long did it take you
8:31
to plan that? About three months? Okay? So I called her cousin
8:39
that lives in Georgia mh to go on the girls trip with her. Okay,
8:45
So she thinks she was going on a all cousins girl trip to Las
8:48
Vegas. And when she got out there, I invited some of her friends
8:54
and my close friends and everyone flew out. I told her I was in
8:56
a bike trip North Carolina, ke we So when she got there, they
9:05
went out to the first restaurant to eat. The first day she came to
9:09
the restaurant. It was a dark setting, so she couldn't see the faces
9:11
and everything that was all the way around. And so when she was like
9:16
she started looking and picking up on faces, I came behind her and got
9:20
down on one knee and I prosttle bit when she said, yes, there's
9:35
more to it, And she was like, what do you there's more to
9:39
it? So she thought she was going out there for a cousin party.
9:41
Bought a twenty dollars dress from Amazon to an all white party. So I
9:46
said there's more too. He said, okay, what's up? I said,
9:50
we get married tomorrow at six o'clock. She said, excuse me?
9:54
I said, we get married tomorrow at six o'clock. So I rented the
9:56
wedding chapel, booked the place for us to eat for reception and afterwards,
10:00
and made reservations for a makeup artist to come in, and just we made
10:05
it happen in less than twenty We were engaged for less than twenty four hours.
10:09
It was beautiful. It was beautiful. I like the way you did
10:13
that I do. I was like, oh, it almost felt like I
10:16
was bared. It was. It was nice, very nice. What were
10:24
you about to say, well, doing it that way, it was calculated
10:31
by me. We talked about a big wedding and she wasn't for it.
10:35
And I've been married before then divorced, And what happened to me in my
10:41
first marriage is I when I proposed, it took a year or so to
10:46
get married, and in that year's time, we gathered everyone else's perception of
10:52
what marriage could look like. So what I wanted to do is take away
10:56
all the outside influences telling us what marriage should look like. So we have
11:01
been living together for the past year, we had bought a house together and
11:05
everything. We just wasn't married. She was fed up. But so what
11:09
I wanted to do is get engaged, getting married right away so I couldn
11:13
wouldn't let the outside people come in and poison her brain or my brain.
11:16
I wouldn't married. You should be married like this and you should do these
11:20
things together. So our life, our life has literally stayed the same prior
11:26
to we was married, but with a little bit more respect and responsibility,
11:28
right, And I can honestly say that we have had no issues, no
11:35
problems, like absolutely nothing. I don't even think like sometimes she was like,
11:39
I don't even feel like I'm married because everything happened. I feel like
11:43
I'm married, like there was no expectations that she wanted to right. We
11:48
do those things and we keep it moving. So how has year one been
11:54
for you? About five countries, country's vacations, a lot of new addition
12:03
concerts, Usher concerts, uh, Chris Brown concerts. So we just get
12:09
up and go n grill Jamaica. We've been to Saint Lucia, and we've
12:18
been to Costa Rica and there's a couple of them that I'm leaving out somewhere
12:22
and you're one. So we just we just have fun with kids, man,
12:26
and you know, kids going some were going some by ourself. But
12:30
it's been good. What does your perspective on your legacy moving forward looks like?
12:39
Now? Well, prepare my wife to survive my death, prepare my
12:52
kids to be able to sustain and my death. There's a good quote that
12:58
always go with a man who doesn't prepare his child for his own death has
13:03
failed as a father. You know what I mean. That's something I hold
13:07
dear to my chest. So because we me and my wife have the means
13:13
to to spoil our children if we want, we prepare them to live without
13:20
us. So we're very googled with things and get the things that's necessary.
13:24
So you know, I prepare her to be with me forever, but in
13:31
the in the event of something happened to me, be able to make it
13:33
without me. You know. It's so you know that legacy you leave is
13:39
what you instill in the people around you. Not a building, not a
13:43
library with your name on it. You know, that's just those are items
13:46
that you donate to somebody that would just be there. But your legacy is
13:52
ongoing. So it's very important to my children to carry yourself well and my
13:56
wife to carry herself well, you know, with through without me, because
14:01
you know, death is inevitable, right You can't you can't run from it
14:05
and you can't be scared of it. So we just work on our legacy
14:13
in ground. We just put in ground pool in uh Okay. So we
14:18
got like a baby a compound for all our kids stay out here, our
14:20
kids and our nephews and nieces, they all stay here and we just self
14:26
contained unit. Oh so going back to how we met, we met through
14:35
ancestry. We found out that we're cousins. Have you dug deeper into that
14:45
or have you just left it as it is? No, I have.
14:48
Actually I just fourth of July, I just met my biological father. Through
14:54
all this time, you know, the same time we found out I met
14:58
my biological father. Uh. We hit it off pretty good, talk all
15:03
the time. He lives about fifteen hours from me. But the family is
15:07
from Louisville, Mississippi. Okay, they have a family reunion the fourth of
15:16
July. I'm flying down to just me the side of the family I never
15:20
knew existed. I already always knew I was different from my brothers and sisters,
15:24
but my mom never had the courage to tell me I wasn't the man
15:30
who raised me. And then the last name I carry is the man who
15:33
raised me and not my biological father. So, you know, bad at
15:37
my mom before what she did. She could have told me because I knew
15:41
I was different. I feel different than my brothers and sisters. But you
15:46
know it's good. I mean, I reached out to a lot of people,
15:48
made a lot of family members, made acquaintance. You're one of them,
15:52
and you know, I'm digging the deep, digging, I'm digging the
15:56
deepest I can find. I kind of pulled back a little bit because it's
16:03
a little harder for me because I'm adopted, and so having all of that
16:11
there like that, it's just, you know, it has its moments where
16:15
it's like, man, I'm related to all of these people. Some I
16:22
know, some I will never know, and you know, just trying to
16:26
place it where it needs to be. My son actually did the ancestry as
16:34
well, just you know, learning his background and so he'll have things to
16:41
share with his daughter as she gets older. She's three now, and she's
16:47
at that why why why, and so you know, she's asking questions about
16:52
different things, and we want to be able to tell her, you know,
16:57
where she came from and you know, try to at least give her
17:03
some kind of insight of you know, what it was. But being adopted,
17:11
I knew I wasn't a part of the family. I looked like nobody
17:15
and I never saw myself in anybody until I had my son. So yeah,
17:25
so when it comes to that, you know, I don't know how
17:29
many people will see this or how they're gonna feel about what I have to
17:33
say. My take on it is a little different, And it's not that
17:38
I'm not bashing women at all. I'm just speaking my truth. We know
17:45
men can be foul. We know men could run away from their responsibility as
17:49
fathers, but as mothers, there have to be some type of code that
17:56
they live by and not rob a person a child, neither you or me,
18:03
because we're two people that was robbed of our you know, of our
18:07
families right without any ramification. And it makes it so easy for them to
18:12
live with women, you know, mama's baby's daddy's Maybe I'm talking about my
18:18
situation. Women always cry a foul when it comes he did me wrong,
18:26
This is his son, he did this, he did that, And but
18:30
where is their accountability? Because if a man loves a woman enough, she
18:33
can tell him that this is his baby and he's just going to believe it
18:37
because he loved her. A man can be a man can run up and
18:41
down the streets with all these women and and but he's just gonna be this
18:45
woman he loved. He don't deserve for woman to lie to him about that
18:51
kid possibly being someone else. So when I talk about my mom, I
18:56
respect her to the day that she passed away. And here I would tell
19:00
her the same thing she was foul for. Wish she did and it's not
19:06
right because I spent forty three years of my life not knowing. So before
19:11
I got to the point that this was my dad, I thought it was
19:15
somebody else. Right, So I don't need to go into details of what
19:19
that looked like, or what her the title was or anything. But I
19:22
also have a son that was named after someone else. And you know,
19:29
the mom tried to get money out of it when he was in jail.
19:32
He said no, they ran, they ran a blood test, the DNA
19:36
test. The DNA test came back and said he wasn't his. So she
19:40
automatically fouled child support on me and got my license to spend it before I
19:44
even though I had a kid. And this man, this other man raised
19:47
him for eight years. So the accountability of a woman, the woman could
19:51
sit up here and tell everybody. So this is why men get the bad
19:56
rap and women don't. When a man is in love with a woman,
19:59
we put our women on the pedestal. Right, if it's somebody we love,
20:02
we put on a pedestal. A lot of the women that everybody knows
20:04
she's out here in the world. Everybody knows because he gonna talk about it.
20:07
Everybody talking about it. But if we got a woman you think it's
20:11
good, we put it on a pedestal. All the bad things she keyed
20:14
on him, if she's with someone else, if she do all these things,
20:18
no one ever knows because if the man talks about it, it makes
20:22
him look like less of a man. So the woman keep her integrity.
20:26
But if a boy, a man cheats on a woman, first thing she
20:30
do is drag his name in the street. He ain't no good. He
20:33
cheated on me. He did this. So this woman get to keep her
20:37
great reputation while she tear down a man's reputation. And that's only because we
20:41
put all our love and trust in this woman. The man don't give his
20:44
heart to every woman. That's why women say so many men are wrong.
20:48
Men lie to get what they want and then leave. But the man.
20:52
The only time a man really lied to a woman is because he know what
20:55
type of woman he's dealing with. And if he knows what type of woman
20:57
he's really dealing with, this is the majority of men, not all of
21:00
them, because if you know what type of woman he's dealing with, then
21:06
he treat her as such, and she's gonna talk bad about him. Anyway.
21:07
But she's already a bad person. So this woman had that is lied
21:12
and he kept up on this pedestal. She could always say, I'm a
21:15
good woman. I treated him like this. I treated him like that,
21:18
and they always burn the man. Now we will wind it back to Kevin
21:23
Samuels. Kevin Saniels start putting all these women on the wall for what they're
21:26
doing and what they think their value is. Hey, your value ain't this
21:32
Because if a guy working at a bus station, I'm making no money,
21:34
got nineteen kids with eighteen baby moms, he has no value. So if
21:40
you have that same type of structure, you have no value. So women
21:44
have to be held accountable just like these men are being held accountable. So
21:48
if you're a good work, you know, I got one of my best
21:51
female friends in life. She got five kids, five kids, four different
21:56
guys. Right on paper, she looks like a bad person that she's just
22:03
sleeping around with everybody. Her only problem was listening to all the men lives
22:08
just to get with her sexually. That was her home because she believed in
22:12
love. Yes, she really believed in love. And like I said,
22:17
there's always that exception. But we men, we get a bad rat.
22:21
We can't see her kids. They hold them from us, They play tug
22:23
of war with us. They put us on child support to hold us from
22:26
moving on in another relationship without them. It's unfair to us, and I
22:32
think nor men should talk about it. I think they should. It's just
22:34
absolutely huh, I said, absolutely, I agree. You know, the
22:41
way society has set everything, child support and low income homes were made to
22:52
destroy the black families. It separates a lot. It separates a lot.
23:00
You know. Sometimes I feel like as far as sleeping with people goes,
23:07
before you lay down with that person, that person has already shown you who
23:10
they are. But it's on you to pay attention to what it is that
23:15
they're showing you. If they're showing you that they don't care about themselves or
23:21
you, why bring a child into the world and expect them to do right
23:26
when they had no you know, no thoughts of doing anything with you beyond
23:36
just laying down with you. For sure? Absolutely absolutely. I mean it's
23:42
just you know, like I could really touch on this subject because it's so
23:47
near and dear to my heart in it, and my mom did it to
23:49
me, you know what I mean. So for twenty years. Well until
23:55
for forty plus years. I never knew how to love a woman. I'm
24:00
not sure I know how to now because I was raised by a man.
24:03
We all heard the story of the boy, the boy who was raised by
24:07
wolves. What do we act like? Woke down? Yeah, yeah,
24:11
yeah, he acts like wolf. I never seen. I never had a
24:14
woman in my life raise me. Ever, so my dad like, man,
24:18
listen, we're good. If a woman start crying around me, what
24:22
you're crying for? We either gonna do this or we're gonna do that,
24:25
or let's keep it putting. So it wasn't that I was heartless. I
24:29
just that's the way I deal with things, you know what I mean.
24:32
I just I deal with things. And moving the moving the black man out
24:36
of the out of the home is what's destroying our race. We all had
24:42
kids in school, right And if anybody works in the school, if you
24:48
tell a kid they call their mother, the kid don't care. But if
24:51
the father in the home and they say I'm calling my dad, the I'm
24:53
calling your dad, that kid tightened up so quick just because he don't want
24:59
to deal is dad, you know what I mean? So when they removed,
25:03
when they when they the system they put in place to remove the man
25:07
from the home really damaged us and it gave it gave some women with no
25:11
fathers as well, free rain to do an act how they please. And
25:17
they're only acting out the hurt that they experienced from their mom. Right.
25:21
So so now it's open season on black men. It's open season on black
25:27
men. And you know which, Let's get his paycheck. First thing you
25:30
want to do is get his paycheck. If you don't get his paycheck,
25:33
he can't move on. I could keep him broke for eighteen years. Now,
25:37
imagine that. Look a look at the repot rate in vehicles, right,
25:42
look at the old rating vehicles. Now, most people child support payment
25:48
is the amount of a car. Right, So it's hard for people to
25:52
pay in their car for five years, right, child support on time for
25:57
eighteen years is hard. He may have intentions to do so, but things
26:02
come up. So if something come up for him and he got to make
26:07
a make a financial decision for him to survive and have a place or give
26:11
to his kid just so he don't go to jail, He's gonna take care
26:15
of himself first, because that's what people are trained to do. To make
26:18
sure they have a place. I'm not saying the kid don't need, but
26:22
need. But as a parent, when you have custody, your kid needs
26:25
shoes, clothes, or something, and you're like, you know what,
26:29
I don't have at this paycheck because I got to take care of this.
26:33
He don't have that option to say I don't have child support this month because
26:37
you got to take care of this. The way I kept myself off of
26:45
child support is I had a real conversation with my kid's mother and say,
26:48
hey, I'm gonna do everything that single mothers struggle with. The day to
26:53
day stuff, the little knickknacks, the food and snacks, Hey, that's
26:57
on you. I will always get your car fixed. If you need groceries,
27:02
I'll buy you groceries. If your electric bill about the election don't get
27:04
cut off, I'll do that. Back to school clothes, Christmas cell phone
27:10
bills, all that stuff that costs abundance of money at once, a lot
27:14
of money at one time. I pay all that. I will pay those
27:18
bills. So I just want to make it good. And it worked.
27:19
I mean, my kids must have kept me off of child support once,
27:23
you know, I talked to them and they got past hurt. But you
27:26
know, it's just communication, man, Just communication. Yeah. I think
27:32
a lot of people are placed on child support just out of anger. You
27:37
know, it's it's, for the lack of better words, it's not wanting
27:42
to see the other person move on. And whether or not they're paying child
27:48
support is not going to cause somebody to stay with you that has no intentions
27:52
of staying. I mean, they're just gonna have to come out of pocket
27:56
and they're still going to go and do what it is that they originally planned
28:00
to do. So you know, it's it's not fair ultimately to the children.
28:07
Like you know, I was a teenager when I had my son,
28:14
and his father initially was like, it ain't mine. So in my mind
28:19
I was like, okay, whatever, I'm not. I'm not want to
28:23
sit in the rife and make you believe this that and the third it is
28:27
what it is. And so I stopped talking to him, and you know,
28:32
his sister reached out to me and she was like, why you stop
28:34
talking to him. I was like, well, he said, the baby's
28:37
not his, so you know, what what is there to talk about?
28:41
And so but you know, once we mm hmm, I have a question.
28:47
I got a real question, because I've never been on the other side
28:49
of that. Now I feel like we switching rolls. When okay, when
28:52
he said it's not mine? How how did that make you feel? How?
29:03
So? I've lived my life, my entire life, and fight or
29:10
flight, so I was already prepared to do it on my own. So
29:18
you know I would never beg Please cry none of that. I mean,
29:26
you're the father. If you choose to do the right thing and step up
29:29
and do that, then do that. And if not, then step out
29:33
the way or whatever. You know, if you're not gonna do right,
29:37
I don't need child support from you. I don't need the government to make
29:41
you do what it is that you know you need to do. So I
29:48
just I've never had faith in the child support system. You put a man
29:53
up for child support, he gets behind, he gets locked up, You
29:56
still waiting, So what's the purpose. I can't hear you. I can't
30:15
hear you. Can you hear me? Okay? I can't hear you.
30:36
Okay, I'm mutual. I don't know what happened. See if you can
31:02
log out and log back in in the meantime while he's doing that, I
31:10
hope everybody's well. I am mentally trying to prepare myself for upcoming surgery procedure
31:21
that I'm having done, just trying to trust God and believe that there's healing
31:33
on this side for me, that I don't have to wait to die to
31:37
be healed. So you know, I will do what's needed, what's required
31:42
of me on this side. So yeah, I will be going in the
31:51
surgery in the next few weeks, So keep me in mind, keep me
31:59
in your heart, and I'll definitely be checking back in and keeping people abreast
32:08
of what's going on with me. So I think I'm probably about to go
32:15
ahead and in this for tonight. We've been on for thirty two minutes so
32:22
and I will bring him back again so he can finish sharing his story.
32:29
But I would like to thank you all for tuning in tonight and and those
32:37
who commented or what have you. I appreciate you all. Continue to support
32:45
them devas of the airwaves, because we're coming. We're coming. We may
32:49
be delayed, but we're never denied. What God has for us will not
32:52
be denied unto us. So until next time, good night, all nursing
33:04
nursing me all things ain't what they used to be. Now where did all
33:14
the blue sky's But boys, as the wind that blows from the north,
33:20
and something we persingersing me, all things a