Latest / Behind The Village Podcast / Reinventing Retirement, Practicing "Do Nothing", and Finding Peace | Mike Bailey

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Reinventing Retirement, Practicing "Do Nothing", and Finding Peace | Mike Bailey · Behind The Village Podcast

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You're listening to the Behind the Village podcast,
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where we invite you to join us on a journey to
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understand how to live a life worth living. Continuing
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on this trajectory we have going about work and
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life and how everything fits together, we wanted
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to speak to someone who was in the retirement
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stage of life, who has been through many big
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changes and different challenges, and to see
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what perspective they could offer us that we
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can't see from this stage of life that we're
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in. Mike Bailey has an interesting past when
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it comes to his work life. Beginning with a part
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-time job in his teen years at a grocery store,
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Mike became an electrical apprentice until he
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switched companies and worked for Uniroyal making
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conveyor belts, and eventually became part of
0:45
the quality control team. Long shifts became
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tedious, and Mike decided to make another career
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switch. He applied to Beaver Creek Correctional
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Facility, where he began as a maintenance worker,
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eventually working his way up to assistant warden.
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From there, he moved on to the Ministry of Community
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Safety Corrections as an HR advisor for 15 years
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before finding photography and retiring. I thought,
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OK, Mike, one day you will retire. What are you
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going to do when you retire? And so I thought,
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well, you know, probably photography. I like
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being out in the outdoors. And that's how I got
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into photography. And I thought, but I guess
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I should buy equipment now while I'm working
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because I'll never be able to afford it. when
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I retired. So that's what I did. You know, all
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the extra money I put into equipment and decided
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to try photography. And then, of course, people
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were saying, well, you should sell your work.
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I'm not that good, you know. And so I started
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just, you know, like everybody else, I started
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at the farmer's market at Otis Park. And I would
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sit back and listen to people rather than talk
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to them because it's like, you know, now I'm
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talking your ear off. I would listen to their
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comments. And so that's how I kind of picked
2:02
up and learned. I just, you know, self -taught,
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listened to people, accepted their criticisms
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and kept on going. And now I'm just loving life.
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I'm busy. I volunteer for too much. I don't know
2:16
how to say no. And I get myself in over my head.
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But, you know, life couldn't be better right
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now. And I think if it wasn't for... being willing
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to try all these different things, I wouldn't
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be where I am today. You know, I think I see
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a lot of younger people saying, no, I don't want
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to do that. I don't want to do that. I only want
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to do this. If you really don't start to highlight
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your ability to be flexible and working with
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people and speaking your mind without being boisterous,
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you're not going to go anywhere. And if I hadn't
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have taken these different chances. I don't know
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what I'd be doing today. And so I have no regrets.
3:02
What was made clear through our conversation
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was Mike's willingness to try. To try something
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new. To try something he'd never done before.
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To take a chance and trust himself and his knowledge
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to get him to the next point in life. One question
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I had was, how do you know when it's time to
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make a change? The biggest thing I noticed, and
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you know... And I'll use corrections because
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it can be a negative environment because, yes,
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you're dealing with people and you're trying
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to help them, but it's always negative. Everybody
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has a complaint or, you know, everybody, it's
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poor me, poor me type thing. And as hard as you
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try, it almost seemed like you could never be
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successful in somebody. And I realize now that's
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wrong. But I think to answer your question, when
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I left there. It was because I was becoming somebody
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I didn't like. And so I knew at that time, I'm
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not going to live my life like that. I didn't
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like who I was becoming. I was becoming negative.
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I was becoming cynical. And I thought, that's
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not me. And I'm not going to bring that home
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to my family. So I thought, it's time for a change.
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I never left anything until I secured another
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job. That I just couldn't take it. When I was,
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you know, like when I was working as an electrician,
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I had to change because of family commitments.
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I couldn't afford to be laid off. So there was
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a good reason there. When I left Uniroyal, I
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mean, it was a good paying job. But I left there
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because I wanted to do something with my license,
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electrical. I left there because there was an
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opportunity to work for the government. You know,
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and thinking ahead with family, they have benefits.
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Listening to Mike speak about all these things
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he had done in life, it started to feel like
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he had unlocked some secret to making it all
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happen. I wanted to know what that was. You know,
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I think it was sometimes not having enough confidence
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in myself. And I had to overcome that. And there
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was, you know, so many things that... And that
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job brought me out of my shell. I was a bit of
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an introvert, really. Even though I like people
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and I like listening to people, I was afraid
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to talk to them. And when you get into that position,
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sometimes things come out of the blue and you
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have to. And there was one incident to demonstrate
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that was we brought in a no smoking policy for
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the whole institutions inside the buildings.
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And every institution was trying this. And we
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had a manager's meeting in Kingston, which is
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our headquarters area. And the deputy warden
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at the time was supposed to come and have a conversation
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with all the other managers of the institutions
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about how the non -smoking policy, how we implemented
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it and how it was working and what wasn't working.
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And she didn't show up. So the warden says, Mike,
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you're next in line. up front and talk to them
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about smoking well i had like five minutes you
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know so and i guess having to do that it was
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like oh i don't need to prepare a speech i have
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the knowledge i can do this and i did it and
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it was sort of that was the confidence builder
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that said okay i can do lots of things that i
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don't think i can do i just have to explore it
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Yeah, that's something June and I actually talk
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about a lot is the idea. He likes to say the
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challenge is the way, you know, like stepping
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out of your comfort zone or even being pushed
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a little bit outside of it and not being afraid
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because I think we doubt ourselves, you know,
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more than we need to. That's right. That's right.
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And the other thing that I learned, and this
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is in speaking and just like what you're talking
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about, is you think that when you're doing this.
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in front of everybody they know all about what
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it takes to run a podcast what it takes to do
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this and they don't and so the real truth is
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you know more than anybody else in the room because
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you're the expert at what you're doing now you
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know as i got older and you you finally start
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to realize these things is you know you can really
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do whatever you want as long as you have the
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desire to do it and the dedication to learn and
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not be afraid of failure. So if self -confidence
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is the key, how did he manage to actually do
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these things day to day? What was it like for
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him at this stage? How did he and his wife navigate
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everything? I mean, it was so long ago. I think
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our oldest now is 50. But I think the balance
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is, A lot of times, and this could be just a
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personal thing with me, but I think it happens
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to more and more people is when you're working,
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it's hard to turn off the eight to five job.
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It doesn't matter what you're doing because you
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always feel I got to do a little bit more. If
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I don't do this a little bit more, they'll think
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I'm not doing enough. And I think that's a common
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thought with a lot of people. you would do a
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little bit more. And you weren't really recognized
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for it. It just, you felt good for yourself because,
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oh, I stayed an extra hour and I did this. I
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don't have to do it tomorrow and I can say it's
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done. But then tomorrow comes along and there's
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another issue. So I think I'll stay for an extra
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hour, but it might be an hour and 15 minutes.
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And before you know it, you're getting up and
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you're going to work early because it's quiet
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and you can get some work done. And you're staying
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a lot later because you still think that you're
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not doing enough. And so then now it becomes
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I'm up before the kids even go to school. And
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I'm leaving that responsibility to my wife. And
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then I'm staying late because I feel a real need
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to now. And I'm leaving that responsibility to
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my wife at the end of the day. And I was missing.
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a lot of the important times with the kids. So
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I had to put that back into perspective too,
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and that was hard. After gaining an understanding
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of who he is and life up until now, I was interested
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in his take on photography and the beginnings
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of this creative endeavor after he retired. I
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think when I started to do photography, it was
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for me. I just like to be out in the bush and
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take pictures. And of course, my wife still says
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today, I'm glad you didn't start photography
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till digital came out, because if we had to pay
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for all the pictures you've done, we'd be broke
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and probably divorced. And I'd say, yeah, yeah,
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I know. With photography, you just hit the delete
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button and you're done. But as I was doing this,
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and I kind of related it. to work in a way of
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being able to explain to people and give them
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information that they weren't aware of. They
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didn't know anything about it, right? That's
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just not their expertise. And so I took photography
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as another way of teaching people. And I don't
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just go out and snap a picture and think that's,
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you know, a photograph. I call it pre -visualization.
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So when I go out, I have an idea in the back
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of my head as to if I go out and take a picture
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of something, don't know what yet, what am I
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going to do with it at the end? And so that helps
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me in my process, just like thinking through
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of somebody's problem, how you're going to help
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them in the end. But when I take a picture, I
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have an end in mind as to... What the picture
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will look like because of my familiarity with
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software that I can do little things? Am I going
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to just put it on the internet and let people
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see it? Or do I want to print it? And if I'm
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going to print it, do I want to print it on a
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canvas? Do I want to print it on a paper? Because
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it all has a different effect in how you're going
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to present that to somebody. And so a lot of
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times I will look for things that are ordinary
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things that you and I might Go by every day and
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see. And it's like, you know, if you were going
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down the road and you saw an old hand pump just
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sitting on a beat up old well on a broken down
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cabin in the background, you probably wouldn't
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pay any attention to it. But I think there's
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a story there. And so I try to go and I'll take
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a picture of that pump in certain ways. And with,
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you know, maybe the how old broken down house
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in the background. But I might. In my mind, I
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might come home and I say, but it's an old pump.
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It's a rusty old pump. Who cares? But I try to
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present it in such a way that somebody might
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say, I wonder who pumped that handle. I wonder
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what family said that. So that's kind of my goal
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in all my photography is to make people think
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about what happened in the past. It's like I
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did a whole series on doors. And it wasn't just
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because there were nice colored doors, but it
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was always, wonder what the story is when somebody
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walked through that door and then came back out
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again. So that's, I mean, when I combine everything,
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I know I've gone off topic here, but when I combine
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everything, it's, I want to show people things
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that are ordinary, but they're not ordinary because
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we don't see them anymore. There is a history
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there. There's got to be a history of how that
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person. even settled in that place, what they
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did with their house. And so I try to, in some
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ways, present that to people to make them think.
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Or maybe it's a remember. Maybe they drew up
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on a... Actually, I've got a good example. I
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did a picture. It was just off on the side road.
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I went out one day. It was in the wintertime,
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and it had been snowing. And I thought, oh, I'm
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going to get out and get some fresh... snow on
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the ground and, you know, the sun, blah, blah.
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Well, by the time I got out here, there's only
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a couple of streets back here in Severn, it started
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to snow again. And I was going down the road
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and, ah, geez, I'm not going to get any, but
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I'm going to stay out anyway. And there was an
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old barn and it had a swing hanging from a tree
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and then a brand new house over here. But the
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old barn was all the old stone and nice little
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window, but it was that swing that caught my
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eye because the snow was falling. And I stopped
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the car and I got out and I took a picture of
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part of the barn, but the swing in this old tree
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was what I really, the subject. So I took a picture
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of that and I kind of liked it. And I thought,
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well, I'm going to, you know, I'll put that on
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a canvas and see what happens at the markets
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and so on and so forth. Well, it turns out I
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was doing a solo up at Creative Nomads shortly
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after she had opened. And I had, it was, I printed
14:42
it big and there was an older gentleman. Actually,
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this is a very interesting story. Anyway, there
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was an older gentleman that used to sit outside
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with another gentleman on the bench in front
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of Creative Nomads. I hung that picture and he
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came in to see it. He bought it right away. He
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said it reminded him of the swing he had when
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he was a kid in his childhood. Wow. The story,
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I mean, and I thought, wow, this is really, really
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exciting because that's what I was thinking of.
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It was just a child. So, you know. I guess in
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that way, I'm very proud because what I thought
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of, what I took a picture of, how I presented
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it was somebody's memory that hung in their house
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and that also loved art. It's so fascinating.
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I love hearing you talk about that process and
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what you're thinking and what you're hoping people
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will do and interact with your work. And I think
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that maybe is true for all artists in various
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mediums. I love hearing about that. It's just
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fascinating. And I love, like I saw your, your
15:47
doors. I love that series. And I like to hear
15:50
that thought behind it. And then knowing that
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that's what you were thinking is leaving that
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open to interpretation. Yeah. Other people I
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think is so interesting and how that can connect
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us, you know, and connect you as the artist and
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them as the people observing or experiencing
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the art. Well, and sometimes it's tough because.
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I'm seeing the bigger picture. Like a lot of
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those doors were actually taken in an old burial
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in Tucson. And that old burial was actually falling
16:18
apart. And I saw the old buildings. I just took
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the pictures of the doors. But that whole door,
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when I think about how old is this burial and
16:27
this building, I mean, what history has gone
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through those doors? And that's why I sort of
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took that picture, those pictures. Because there
16:37
was a story there, hoping that they could be
16:39
anywhere. But, you know, I think I called it
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the story of doors. And yeah, I mean, how many
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people, how many famous people might have walked
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through those doors back in those days when they
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were doing something? So hopefully that message
16:52
comes out. It sounded to me like Mike had achieved
16:57
such success over his life. So I wanted to know
17:00
what success meant to him and what he was proud
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of. If I want to talk about success, success
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to me was I was happy at any job I did. I didn't
17:12
care what I was doing. And I think to me, success
17:21
in your work makes for a happy life. Success
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at home. Seeing the kids grow up, I guess, kind
17:30
of the way I was brought up. and being respectful
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to people and situations. I'm just so proud of
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our kids. Maybe because they're a little bit
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like me, but no. Life has just been successful
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no matter what I've been doing, no matter what
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kind of uncertainty there has been or health
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-wise. I've always been very positive and looked
18:04
at it. It's a success no matter what. And one
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of my favorite sayings I also tell my kids, because
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I practiced it myself, was when you have an issue,
18:17
don't focus on the issue. Focus on the solution.
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And they'll say that to me. Dad, what are you
18:26
upset about? Well. Dad, you always told us, don't
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focus on the issue, focus on a solution. And
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I got you through it. And a lot of times thinking
18:38
like that and thinking positive was why I can
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be inventive, why I'm an artist. I look for the
18:44
good in people. I look for the good in things.
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And when you find that, it's so much easier to
18:51
resolve any situation. And when you help someone.
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When you are satisfied with something you've
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done, to me, that's success. As our conversation
19:05
progressed, we got into the topics of how negativity
19:07
affects us and the importance of taking time
19:10
for ourselves. I try to watch a little bit of
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the news. I'm more interested in what's happening
19:17
locally. And you can't help but kind of get involved
19:20
in, oh, yeah, this is happening over. over there
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and this is happening south of the border and
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it starts to get you on and both my wife and
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i would just let's go out to the studio yeah
19:31
and we come over here and we just do our thing
19:34
and it just everything goes away um because you're
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focusing on things you like to do yeah and unfortunately
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i think today's generation doesn't do that they're
19:46
no they've never been taught to explore some
19:50
kind of a craft or explore something you really
19:52
like to do. And I mean, there's so much like
19:54
even, you know, when I think of our son loves
19:57
to write. And so he does when he's had enough,
20:01
he just goes and he'll write some story about
20:03
who knows. And he doesn't care if anybody reads
20:08
it. He just, and that puts him in the Zen zone.
20:12
Yeah. It's so important. And sometimes you just
20:15
want to have a bit of a. I call it potato time
20:18
where you're not thinking you're just a couch
20:19
potato. And then the scrolling starts on the
20:21
phone. And then, you know, the input of the negativity
20:24
and the this is happening, like you were saying,
20:27
is south of the border and overseas. And you're
20:29
just like, OK, I got to turn this off. Well,
20:32
and you know what I find interesting sometimes
20:34
is we've just become that world of, like you
20:39
said, scrolling. And I think I think I'll pick
20:44
on the younger generation, but I think. they've
20:47
lost sight of how important it is to talk and
20:51
because you've got that in front of you it's
20:53
so much easier to say nothing because i don't
20:56
know what to talk about but you know all you
20:59
have to do is ask somebody else about themselves
21:02
let them tell them i said and when they're talking
21:06
it and you're listening it shows that you're
21:09
interested in them which makes them feel good
21:11
And you're learning from what they're talking
21:13
about. And all of a sudden, someone will twig
21:15
in and all of a sudden you'll engage. And you'll
21:19
be surprised how a conversation will start to
21:21
go just because somebody asked you a question
21:24
or you asked them a question. I'm involved with
21:26
the arts immersion. You know, we're dealing with
21:29
vulnerable people or people with mental health.
21:32
And so I've got a mentee and we went out to.
21:37
Langman's. She loves to photograph and she really
21:39
wants to learn photography and so on and so forth.
21:41
And I said, okay. So we go out to Langman's Reserve
21:44
because it's so peaceful out there, right? But
21:46
there's, you know, it was because there's so
21:48
much she can take pictures of and I can teach
21:50
her about lighting and so on and so forth. So
21:53
we went out just actually last Friday, we were
21:57
out and the ducks. And the geese were galore.
22:02
I mean, I, you know, and it was, it was such
22:04
a beautiful and, and, and I'm trying to tell
22:07
her what to do. And, you know, she's taking pictures,
22:09
so -and -so. And I thought, you know, I haven't
22:12
been out here and I bet you over 10 years. And
22:15
this is so peaceful. I don't have a camera with
22:18
me, right? I don't, it's about her. And, uh,
22:22
I thought this is wonderful, but the sun wasn't
22:25
quite in the right position to get really good
22:27
pictures. So I thought. I'm going to go out early.
22:30
I'm going to get up early Saturday morning. I'm
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going to grab a coffee. I'm going to go out.
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The sun will be low. It'll be perfect. So that's
22:37
what I did. And I was out there by about 7 .30,
22:40
8 o 'clock. I got out there. There wasn't a duck
22:42
or a goose to be seen on that water. But I could
22:46
hear them all in the background. So I thought,
22:49
well, okay, I'm here now. I'm going to sit and
22:51
wait. So I sat on the picnic table with my coffee.
22:53
Didn't even have my camera in my hand. And I
22:56
just, I looked. And all of a sudden, everything
22:59
started to go away. And I felt so calm. And I
23:02
thought, I have to do this more often. It reminded
23:06
myself, I have to do this more often. Just sit
23:09
with your coffee and watch. Nature will take
23:12
care of you. Well, nature always does. And within
23:16
about a half an hour, I was just about finished
23:17
my coffee. And all of a sudden, I could hear
23:19
the geese honking. I went over by where the swans
23:23
are over there. And I started to watch. seen
23:26
I've never seen this happen before out there
23:28
but sort of in the center of Langmans there's
23:31
a you know like a clear opening for a pond and
23:33
then there's all the reeds and boishes around
23:35
it and I swear to God there was 50 geese all
23:41
in a line swimming from that pond over to where
23:44
all the stumps were and everything that I wanted
23:46
to photograph and they all swam down and they
23:50
were just kept coming and then they'd find their
23:52
little spot in there And I was all set up for
23:55
pictures. But I had a half hour of doing nothing
23:59
but quiet, watching nature, feeling the breeze
24:03
on my face, listening to the background, just
24:06
looking at the water. It was so peaceful. And
24:08
I think more and more people should do that.
24:11
I need to do it more. Yeah. No, 100%. That sounds
24:14
amazing. And I love, you've mentioned it a couple
24:17
times, the patience where you've either felt
24:19
like, you know, the geese weren't. They weren't
24:22
where you wanted them to be where, you know,
24:24
talking about finding the barn with the swing
24:26
and you're like, there's nothing really, you
24:29
know, but you give it time and you just let,
24:32
like you said, you let nature just kind of, you
24:33
let things unfold and then you capture that.
24:36
And then you capture it. Yeah. That's what we're
24:39
missing now, I think, is there's such importance
24:42
with pace and doing more and more and more and
24:44
faster, faster, faster. We need to do the opposite
24:46
now. Yeah. We need to bring that back. You know,
24:49
one of the tips that, you know, and I, I just
24:52
thought you'd said something, but even doing,
24:55
writing out your task list for the day. And I
24:58
used to actually put in, do nothing for this
25:01
hour. Like, and, and so nothing else would, you
25:05
know, I wasn't scheduling anything. I just had
25:07
to be careful that I wasn't taking that hour
25:10
of free time and doing something else. But it
25:13
started to remind me that, you know what, you're
25:15
worse. Half hour, an hour, whatever it is every
25:18
day. You know, even if you just. go get a coffee
25:23
sit back and close your eyes you know it's it's
25:26
your time and think about something nice not
25:29
about work not about the world just think about
25:31
you know what you'd like to do if you could where
25:34
would you like to travel if you could and it
25:36
just you have to do that sometimes and maybe
25:39
that's what people need to understand on their
25:41
busy phones is your time me time yeah I think
25:46
you nailed it, though. It's you're worth that
25:48
time. Yeah. And I think so much of our worth
25:51
now is on how much we can do with the time that
25:54
we have, as opposed to that we are worth that
25:57
time to be introspective or to, you know, reflect
26:01
or to, you know. Yeah. And, you know, and I keep
26:04
thinking all these things. Well, I remember when
26:07
I was working with at Corrections and I said
26:10
it was it was fast paced. It was negative and
26:13
stuff. And. I really started to get high blood
26:16
pressure at the time. And a lot of it was just,
26:18
you know, stress of the work and I'll be okay.
26:22
I'll be okay. You know, and I went and got the
26:24
doctor and I got pills, but I still had the high
26:26
blood pressure and work was really getting, this
26:28
was getting towards the end before I left. And
26:30
I remember my wife said to me, Michael, what
26:35
do you want me to tell your bosses when you're
26:38
lying in the hospital and you can't speak? That,
26:42
that really. hit home about stress and not enjoying
26:48
what you're doing and thinking that, you know,
26:51
maybe you're not as important as you might think
26:54
you are because life's going to carry on after
26:58
you're gone, except us and the kids. So that
27:02
was, that really, really hit home. Looking back
27:08
over his entire life, I asked Mike if he would
27:10
change anything. No, I wouldn't change anything.
27:17
I might do something a little different because
27:21
everything I did, as I said before, it led me
27:24
to something better. If I changed anything, it
27:30
might be having more confidence in myself. If
27:36
I think I can do something, well, then I can
27:39
do it. You know, when an opportunity knocks,
27:43
take it because it was meant to be. And I've
27:47
learned that. So if I was to do anything different
27:51
is I wouldn't lollygag and think, oh, should
27:54
I take this? Should I do this? What if I don't
27:57
play the what if game? What if I take this and
28:00
this happens in this? I've learned not to do
28:02
that anymore. So but those are the things I would
28:04
change because I just wasted a lot of time and
28:07
frustrated myself. I don't think I ever lost
28:09
out on anything. Um, but, um, it certainly was
28:14
a lot of back and forth and thinking about when
28:17
deep down, I knew it might've been the right
28:19
decision. I should have went with it's, you know,
28:21
go with your gun. I think it was right, but you
28:24
know, that's where the, where the, what if game
28:26
comes in? Like, well, what if I take this, you
28:29
know, position or what if I do this, what will
28:31
happen? And well, you just have to go with it.
28:35
And then deal with whatever, just like I said,
28:37
you deal with whatever comes up and focus on
28:40
a solution and not an issue. I think all the
28:42
decisions that I had made were all the right
28:45
ones for the right reasons at the time. Any advice
28:50
that you would give, let's say, the younger generation
28:53
or to your younger self? You know, I think that
28:57
they have to realize that not everything is the
29:02
way you see it on TV. All the good things that
29:06
happen, whether it be through getting a job,
29:08
falling in love, having a happy marriage or not
29:11
having a happy marriage. News seems to focus
29:16
on all the negative stuff. And the world is not
29:21
like that. It's going to be what you make it.
29:25
And if you decide that, you know, people have
29:31
a I think have an internal sense. If you think
29:34
that I'm not worthy of that person's friendship
29:38
because they have more friends than I do, that's
29:41
wrong. You can have just as many friends, if
29:44
not more, if you want to go out and search for
29:47
it and if you want to work at it a little bit.
29:49
Not everybody's going to be all that you want
29:52
them to be, but they will be your friends if
29:56
you allow them. and you take the good with the
29:59
bad, and you just be careful the friendships
30:02
that you're looking for. Just don't take any
30:05
friend because they're the first one that puts
30:07
their hand up. There might be an alternative
30:09
reason why they've done that. Choose your friends
30:12
closely, but be willing to step out and try.
30:15
The worst that can happen is you can say, I ain't
30:18
going to work for me, so it's not my beliefs.
30:22
I'll look elsewhere. This was such a delightful
30:28
conversation with Mike. I appreciate him taking
30:31
me on a journey and being open to sharing helpful
30:33
insight he's gained over the years. It's really
30:36
helpful to hear different perspectives as we
30:38
move through our own lives. Thank you for listening
30:42
to the entire episode. All the links and info
30:45
you heard in this conversation will be featured
30:47
in the show notes on our website. If you'd like
30:49
to know more about anything we mentioned in this
30:51
episode, make sure to check villagermagazine
30:53
.ca slash podcast. If you enjoyed this episode,
30:57
please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify
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so you never miss an episode. Thanks again and
31:09
I'll see you next time.