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I HID my girlfriend from my sister… and we’ve been together for two years! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3115 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ayo, it's Riley here.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Angie, your favorite OK Storytime hosts. And
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: But before we read these crazy stories, we have a
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: tuna break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:13
  Speaker 4: I hid my girlfriend from my sister and we've been
• 0:17
  Speaker 4: together for two years.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Now, why'd you do that?
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: Three years ago, my parents passed away within two months
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: of each other and my sister, seven female siblings.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Only four at the time. I'm starting to immediately understand
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: why we did this.
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: At the time, I, 25 male, was just out of college,
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: but I had been hired by a company that recruited
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: employees from top colleges.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: In my field.
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: Like? We don't really have any other family that I'd
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: be remotely comfortable leaving her to, so I decided upon
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: taking her in myself.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Taking care of her has.
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: Definitely been a challenge for me, but I've adjusted, and
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: it's been an incredibly rewarding experience, and I wouldn't have
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: it any other way. My current girlfriend, 25, female, and
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: I met during a conference that I attended and really
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: hit it off immediately. We have a lot in common
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: and really seem to mesh very well. Our conversations are
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: almost effortless, and being together with her feels very natural.
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: We've been together for a year and nine months at
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: this point, and we've had a very fulfilling relationship so far.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: I told her from the beginning that I take care
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: of my younger sister, and she said that she didn't
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: mind at all and that she likes children. By the way,
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: this comes from MattressBot. And if you want to submit
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: your own stories, go to the r slash ok story
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: time subreddit.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia.
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: And we're going to read this story and give our
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: little good advice, goofaliz, but we don't have all the answers.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: So let us know what you think in the comments
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: and OP says. Recently, we've been discussing what our future
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: together would look like. She says that she's in no
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: hurry for us to get married and that at the
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: end of the day, it's just a piece of paper
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: and that she just wants to be with me regardless
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: of the formalities around it.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Sounds like someone's ready for a secret wedding.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: She said that from what I've told her, that my
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: sister sounds great and that she'd really like to meet her.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: She also added that she's not pressuring me about it
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: and that she totally understands if I'm uncomfortable with the idea.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: We've been dating for a good chunk of time and
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: it's approaching two years now. My main reason for being
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: reluctant about introducing my girlfriend to my sister is that
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: my sister has already dealt with more loss than most
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: children go through in their entire childhood. I'm hesitant about
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: the possibility of her getting attached to my girlfriend and
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: something going awry.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: But you kind of have to make that risk in
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: many different areas of life. You know, nothing lasts forever
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: and you can't guarantee that it will, but you have
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: to take a risk.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: I definitely want my girlfriend to be my long-term partner.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: I've thought about it a lot and I love her
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: and want us to spend our lives together. What is
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: the right thing for me to do here? Should I
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: put off introducing my girlfriend to my sister for now?
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: How long would it be an acceptable time frame for
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: something like this? There are some relevant comments, but I
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: would just tell you, brother, if that's how you feel
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: about your girlfriend, just introduce her to your sister.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: You said you want her to be your longtime partner.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: Then introduce her.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: The time is now.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Don't let fear get in your way.
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: Relevant comments. From a deleted user, how have you managed
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: to be with your girlfriend for almost two years without
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: her and your sister meeting? OP says, I've only ever
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: brought her over to my house whenever my sister wanted
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: to have sleepovers at her friend's house. When I've met
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: with their parents, of course. Otherwise, I'd hire a babysitter
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: I trust while I'm out. And there is an update.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: Let's get into it.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: I'm going to assume that you told your sister about
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: your girlfriend and everything went well.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I would hope so.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: Well, after posting here and asking some of my acquaintances
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: who had experience with this kind of issue, most of
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: whom said that six months would have been sufficient, I
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: decided to bite.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: The bullet and introduce the two.
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: I decided upon taking the three of us out ice skating,
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: an activity my sister really enjoys. At first, my girlfriend
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: wasn't so good, but she started to get the hang
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: of it, and we had a really great time.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Afterwards, the three of us went out for pizzas.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: Two of them got along really well, and my sister
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: thought my girlfriend's skating abilities were absolutely hilarious and kept
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: trying to help her get the hang of it. Cute.
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: I think my girlfriend knew how ridiculous she looked because
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: she couldn't help but laugh at herself.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: Her ability to laugh at herself is something I really
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: like about her.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: When I asked my sister what she thought about my girlfriend,
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: she said that she was pretty and funny and that
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: she liked her and wanted to see her again. Similarly,
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: the next time my girlfriend and I were together, she
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: said that she had a fun time and that my
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: sister was great. And she couldn't believe that I'd been
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: hiding her for all this time. I'm pretty comfortable with
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: the way things went. I'm thinking about possibly inviting my
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: girlfriend over when I make dinner.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: For me and my sister sometime next week.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: But I'm still a bit hesitant because a lot of
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: the comments in my last post urged taking it slow.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: So I'll have to give it some thought. And that
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: is the end of that story.
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: Perfect.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I think that's fine. I think dinner is fine.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Perfect. That went perfectly.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: You waited for two years and until you were like, yeah,
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: this is the woman I want to spend my life
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: with until you.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Introduced her to your sister. You waited long enough.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: It's fine.
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: We're good.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: We've nailed it.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Don't worry about it. We got it. Nothing to worry
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: about here, Buster. I see how he could be concerned,
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: but she needs a good role model in her life
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: that she associates with. Good point. Well, it just seems
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: like she's nice and they get along and it's okay.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: It's time.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Everything is a risk. You have to take risks to
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: enjoy life.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story.
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: Let's head to the next one.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: My son's father invited strangers to the party I planned
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: and paid for without asking.
• 5:44
  Speaker 6: You said bring people.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: My son's dad and I haven't been together since our
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: son was born. Our son lives with me full time.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I cover all of his day-to-day expenses while his paternal
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: grandmother pays his school fees. I organized my son's birthday
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: party for this weekend. It's a party with his school
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: friends and some of my friend's children. Invitations were sent
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: out well in advance, and everyone was asked to RSVP
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: by the 1st of July. Based on those RSVPs, I
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: paid the venue, ordered food, arranged seating, and bought party packs,
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: ice cream, and everything else for a specific number of children.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: There isn't extra seating or extra party packs available. I
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: also invited my son's dad because I wanted him to
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: be there to celebrate his son's birthday with us. By
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Vler Moosey. And if you
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Zofia. I'm Riley.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: I'm Vler Moosey.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. And if you've got answers,
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: give them to us right now. Today, just three days
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: before the party, he messaged me to tell me that
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: he'd invited another parent to and their child to the party.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: He didn't ask if it was okay first. He had
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: already invited them.
• 6:55
  Speaker 7: Oh!
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: I hate when people do that.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Wait, really?
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 6:58
  Speaker 6: I have done that a few times.
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: Yes, you have. He actually has. We're like, who are
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: those people?
• 7:03
  Speaker 6: But it was like to an event where you want
• 7:05
  Speaker 6: more people.
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, no, no, no.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: There's specific times when I'm like, oh, okay. If I'm
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: trying to keep an event small.
• 7:11
  Speaker 6: I know, I'm like, the only other person I invite
• 7:13
  Speaker 6: is Angie.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, there are some times where I'm like, oh,
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: everyone bring everyone, I don't care.
• 7:16
  Speaker 6: And you do make that specific when you say, I'm
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: keeping it small.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, hey, a little small. Usually, if I'm
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: sending out an invite on Partiful, I'm like, yeah, whoever.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: I told them they couldn't come because I hadn't planned
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: or paid for any additional guests. I also said I
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: don't think it would be fair for a child to
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: attend a birthday party only to watch the other kids
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: receive meals, party packs, ice cream, and other treats while
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: there wasn't enough for them. He thinks I'm being unreasonable,
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: but I feel like he overstepped by inviting people to
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: an event that I planned and paid for without asking
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: me first.
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: Dang, you know that that child support is not that
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: high up if she's having this conversation.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like he's not contributing to the party at all.
• 8:05
  Speaker 6: Well, just like to the kid's life. Because if he
• 8:08
  Speaker 6: was keeping up with his child support and all that stuff,
• 8:11
  Speaker 6: he'd probably be like, oh, okay.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, throw a couple other people in. Bear in mind,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: I've never even met these people. Am I the a-hole?
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: And Etta, just to clear up things, this party has
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: been planned for months. I started saving for it almost
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: a year ago because I wanted to give my son
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: a special birthday. I booked the venue two months in
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: advance because it fills up quickly. And my final guest
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: numbers had to be confirmed by the 1st of July.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: The venue charges per child and each child receives a
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: meal of their choice, a cool drink, ice cream, and
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: a party pack from the venue. I've also made personalized
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: party packs to match the party theme for each child
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: to take home. I've had to stick to a budget
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: so everything was planned and paid for according to the
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: confirmed RSVPs. I mean, you just turn to your ex
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: or whatever and you say, are you paying for them?
• 9:02
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: And if he says no, then you say, well, they're
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: not coming then.
• 9:07
  Speaker 6: They can't.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: They literally can't. There's not going to be anything there
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: for them.
• 9:11
  Speaker 6: What do you want me to do?
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: My son's dad knew I was organizing the party from
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: the beginning. He didn't offer to help organize or contribute financially,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: which is also his choice. But he also never mentioned
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: wanting to invite additional children. Where is he finding all
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: these children?
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: On the street.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's just picking them up. He's like, hey, you
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: want to come to my kid's birthday party? Just to
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: piss off my ex? My son did ask if one
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: of his friends from his dad's side could come, and
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: I happily included that child on the guest list. Had
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: his dad mentioned anyone else at the time, it wouldn't
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: have been an issue. My problem isn't with having more
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: children there. It's that he invited additional guests three days
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: before the party without asking me first, after everything had
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: already been finalized and paid for.
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: Alright this is what happens you let the kids fight
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: yeah if.
• 9:59
  Speaker 6: The ex was paying decent money or helping to sort
• 10:02
  Speaker 6: out the party OP wouldn't have to be penny pinching I.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Mean I agree OP already said like he is not.
• 10:08
  Speaker 5: Paying for anything you know what survival of the fittest
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: Hunger Games style or like you.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Know strongest child yeah can stay.
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: At the party yeah Lord of the Flies it. Here
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: you go.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Lord of the Flies party edition. Party pack Lord of
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: the Flies.
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: The theme of the party is Lord of the Flies, kids.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: It's like murder mystery, but it's Lord of the Flies.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: All of your children will love it. All of the
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: adults have to leave the party and you just have
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: to let your kids go crazy.
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: You know what's sad?
• 10:38
  Speaker 6: Is you only put one pair of glasses in there
• 10:40
  Speaker 6: and then that person has.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: To be the kid.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Tough.
• 10:44
  Speaker 6: That part always made me sad. I remember watching Lord
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: of the Fronds at a very young age, and it
• 10:49
  Speaker 6: had a deep impact.
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: Traumatizes kids, yeah.
• 10:53
  Speaker 6: Wow. I need to look up what Lord of the
• 10:55
  Speaker 6: Fronds is. What? I mean, I know what it is,
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: but I need to look over the plot lines more.
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: Plot line.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Kids get into a plane accident, end up on island.
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: No adults. They form alliances.
• 11:07
  Speaker 6: One child is good and wants to try and.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Create a healthy society. The other child wants to create
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: a war-like society.
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: Chaos.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: Chaos reigns. Parents, come back.
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: Piggy, gone.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, kid died.
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: You know they're remaking that, right?
• 11:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: They already did. It's already out.
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: You know they already remade it, didn't they?
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: It's on Netflix. Apparently it did really well. I haven't
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: seen it, though.
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: The funny thing is, I haven't... Yeah.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's out.
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: You missed it.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: You missed it. I've also seen comments saying I should
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: give his dad the opportunity to participate in our son's childhood.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's got the opportunity. He's got the opportunity.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: He just didn't take it.
• 11:52
  Speaker 6: He's got a car. He's got money. He could have
• 11:55
  Speaker 6: done something.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: He just ain't paying. I absolutely agree that parents should
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: be involved in their children's lives. That's why I invited
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: him to the party in the first place. There is, however,
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: a lot of history and context that I didn't include
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: in my original post because it wasn't relevant to the
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: question I was asking. My concern here is simply that
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: someone invited extra guests to an event they weren't organizing
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: or paying for without checking with me first. And yes,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I know I chose the wrong person to have a
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: child with. I live with that decision every day. And
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: all I can do now is be the best mom
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: I can be for my son. Anyway, thank you again
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: for all the perspectives. Whether you agreed with me or not,
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: wish me luck for the party.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: Lovely.
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: Good luck.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: I wish you luck.
• 12:40
  Speaker 6: Me too.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. My parents complained
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: about every choice I made down to my birthday cake. I,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: 31 female, come from a family with my parents, 59
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: female and 63 male, and two other siblings, 22 male
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: and 29 female. We have a long-standing family tradition where
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: our parents take us out and treat us on our
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: birthday to a nice celebratory dinner every year, as well
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: as gift us $ 200. Most years, my sister, 29, almost
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: always chooses fancy upscale steakhouses or seafood restaurants. My brother
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: typically always chooses Texas Roadhouse.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: Roadhouse.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: The classic.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: I kind of like to mix it up every year.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: But last year on my 30th birthday, my parents planned
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: nothing for me and didn't treat me to dinner at all.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: That's messed up. In fact, they barely acknowledged my birthday.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: This year, my mother decided to call me and directly
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: ask me where I would like to go for my
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: birthday dinner when they came back into town on Sunday,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: and I told her I'd like to go to the
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: melting pot. Her and my father both protested on the
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: phone and tried at least seven times to get me
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: to agree to go to K-Pot, or a Korean BBQ
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: restaurant they like, that I introduced them two years prior.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I do like K-Pot, but it's just not where I
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: want to go for my birthday. My mother brought up
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: all sorts of reasons they didn't want to go. She stated, firstly,
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: that the mall is known for cockroaches, which I won't lie,
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: is true.
• 14:11
  Speaker 7: Ew.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Well, that's gross.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but like, did you know those are everywhere?
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: That's true. Well, we live in a city where they're
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: pretty much everywhere. And that hasn't stopped her from eating
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: at other places in the mall before. By the way,
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: this comes from connect from move 5261. And if you
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. So give us your answers
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: now in the comments. And Opie says. The next thing
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: she brought up was how pricey melting pot is. I
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: will admit I didn't realize how much it went up.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: It was now $ 67 per person to enjoy the full
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: three-course meal. However, wow. That's... That is really pricey.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: It's high.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: However, my parents are by no means poor and can't
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: afford it if they want to. They are very well off.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: This would not be a serious inconvenience for them. However,
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I did offer to pay for my own meal. My
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: mother declined and said she would pay... My mother ended
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: the call stating my father may not join us at
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: dinner and it might just be me and her. When
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I called her today to see what the plan was,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: I was informed that neither of them want to go,
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: so they said they will take me to the melting
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: pot on the condition that neither one of them will
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: eat or have any food at dinner and I will
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: be the only one eating.
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: What is that condition? We're just going to watch you eat.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: We're just going to watch you eat.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: We're going to sit down and watch you eat.
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: We're just going to stare at you, dipping things into
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: melted cheese.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I am considering making them follow through with their tantrum.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: My mother often likes to make things all about her,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: and this is just another example of that. I feel
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: this dinner shouldn't be so much about the actual meal
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: as it is the time spent celebrating with family. I
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: realize this sounds petty, but I feel strongly about letting
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: them dictate my choices, as it has often been an
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: issue in the past. I understand this is a power move,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: but CHECKMATE!
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: Ooh, gotcha.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: King to E5.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: King to melting pot. I'm done letting them make everything
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: about themselves and forcing me to compromise and prioritize them.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: They do this frequently. She even gave me an argument
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: about my birthday cake because I wanted a hell of
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: a boss. My favorite show themed birthday cake. Excellent taste.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Excellent taste.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Well, he's a little freaky little weirdo, aren't you?
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: With black and red frosting. And she stated she wouldn't
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: eat my birthday cake either because there are dollops of
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: black frosting. I got the cake anyway.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: What? What? Does she think it tastes like the color black?
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: What does she think that tastes like?
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: Charcoal.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: So am I the a-hole? And what?
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: The verdict? I hate the verdict.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: The verdict is everyone sucks here.
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: Like, including OP?
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: How can OP suck when they were ignored on their
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: 30th birthday?
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. It's like fully their birthday. It's fully their
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: birthday and I totally get being, you know, maybe reticent
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: to go to a very expensive place that you don't
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: even like the food at. However, put up with it.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: It's your daughter's birthday and you're apparently rich.
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah. And you give her $ 200 like you let other siblings. Well,
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: once a brother is plain and simple.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah. They go to an expensive steakhouse, they said.
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: But sister is the one who's like, let's up the ante.
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: Something really pricey. Something I can show off. Come on.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: It's just because you're the oldest, I guess.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: I guess so. They just don't care about you.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: Also, you're 30. Just do what you want to do.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like do stuff with your friends.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: 31, actually.
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: Do stuff with your other people. The 30th birthday was
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: last year. They ignored their 30th birthday. Was there ever
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: a conversation about, hey, what the heck happened?
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Why'd you do that?
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: I've decided to drop the entire idea of going to
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: dinner with them. One of the comments that stuck out
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: the most to me was that I likely don't have
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: many years left with my parents and this doesn't seem
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: important enough to keep arguing over. I do want to
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: clear some things up though. I've talked to my mother
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: numerous times about last year's birthday and there really was
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: no specific reason.
• 18:17
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: She just didn't care enough to acknowledge it.
• 18:20
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: Who cares about spending as much time as you can
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: with that person?
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't really want to spend time with you.
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: It's like, I'm not even a birthday guy but My
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: mom was going insane about me turning 30.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: Everyone was going insane about me turning 30. And I went, okay. Yeah.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: I want a big old birthday.
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: I'm just turning 25. I'm just the, I'm still thinking,
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: trying to figure it out.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: You're 30.
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: You're 30, Keon. Listen, when I grow up, I'm still
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: trying to figure out what I want to do when
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: I grow up.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 18:45
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: I was out of town on my own birthday trip.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: And when I got back, she generally just didn't think
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: of me. That's so much worse. Also, I have a
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: very good idea of my parents' finances. My dad has
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: gone over them in detail with me a month ago.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Like I said, they're very well off. I don't think
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: they owe me a birthday dinner or anything in general.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: I just generally wish they would stop complaining about every
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: little decision I make up to and including my birthday cake.
• 19:12
  Speaker 6: That rhymes.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: I'm not whining about colors. I was using that as
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: an example of how even something as simple as my
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: birthday cake can't be my choice. without criticism or complaint.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I did speak with my mother a while ago, and
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: when I asked her why she gets so upset about
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: things like my birthday cake, she said it bothers her
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: how extra I have to be all the time.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, I get it. See, this is what I mean.
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: You're a weird little freak. Okay, well, freak would maybe
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: be a little too negative, but like.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, he just wants to enjoy her birthday.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I like weird little freaks, man. I'm a weird little freak.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: He's a weird little freak.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I'm a weird little freak.
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: I'm a freaky little guy.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: And your parents don't like that you're weird.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess so. I guess that must be it.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Because I can't just have a normal birthday cake and
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: instead want a cake that's themed after a show that's
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: important to me.
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: I want to see this cake.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's a hell of a boss cake.
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: I know, but I just want to... I could be
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: any cake.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: Double whammy there for people who don't know.
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: I can see it too, but I want to see it.
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: Hell of a Boss is also an animated show, which
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: is another thing that your parents would probably be like, oh,
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: our weird little freak 31-year-old, why is he watching cartoons?
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: I get you.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: She also went on a tangent about how I don't
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: do enough for her and never celebrate her and mention
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Mother's Day specifically. I kindly reminded her I made an
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: entire goodie basket of hand-picked items she would like, and
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: her response was, it was okay. Okay. I told her
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: we don't have to go to dinner and life is
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: too short to be having arguments such as this. The
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: conversation ended there.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Good job.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Good job on not being your parents.
• 20:47
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, boy, Opie, I'm sorry. I mean, honestly, just hang
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: out with people who want to hang out with you
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: on your birthday and forget, like, just don't let your
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: parents have a day. They don't get a day anymore.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: They lost their privilege to have a day with you
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: on your birthday. Update two. I guess we're going to K-Pod.
• 21:04
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 21:05
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 21:05
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: My father tried talking to me and I suggested a
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: nice Italian restaurant that I know he likes, but he
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: just made complaints about that restaurant as well, stating his
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: last experience there wasn't good. So I just said, fine,
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: we can go to K-Pod, because I'm done with this
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: whole thing and I know not going will also cause issues.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you for the people who chose to be kind,
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: even if they didn't agree with me. I agree I
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: had other issues under the surface, and this was about
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: more than just my restaurant of choice. Regardless, I am
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: tired of this. And it's reasons like this that make
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: me wish I didn't even have a birthday. No! No!
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Stop letting your parents ruin your birthday! Just don't hang
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: out with them. Who cares about them?
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: What are your siblings saying in all of this?
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: The youngies. Stop.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Stop letting your parents ruin your birthday. It makes me upset.
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: Clearly there's 30 years worth of context here that we
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: don't have.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: But crazy that commenters were like, You are wrong.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: You're the a-hole, OP. You're the a-hole.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: If this is what they're doing, just imagine what they've done.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: But we got an update three. This is my last
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: and final update. We went to K-Pot. On the ride over,
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: I was silent while I fixed my makeup, and my
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: mother made repeat comments about how she hates my black lipstick. Yeah,
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: OP's just a little different than them, and they hate
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: her for it.
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: She replied with, I hate your gray hairs.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:30
  Speaker 6: She goes, oh?
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: Oh, she goes, oh, oh, oh.
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: You say, I really hate how you've let yourself go.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Ooh. Dang. And then she goes, why would you say that?
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: I'm your mother. When we sat down at the table
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: to eat, my parents complained pretty much the entire dinner
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: about how they didn't like that they had to make
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: their own dipping sauce. They didn't like the food choices.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: They didn't like that you had to cook the food yourself.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I am, the second that I hear one complaint about
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: the food, I get up and go, this was your choice. Bye.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Have fun.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm walking home.
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: I'll be like, why are we here?
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, why did you pick this place if you hate it?
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: I feel like it's just that they're old enough to
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: be like, they complain about everything.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Everything sucks.
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: Everything sucks.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: There is no pleasing them. Mind you, these people have
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: been here several times before. I barely ate because I
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: lost much of my appetite. I also spoke only enough
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: with them when prompted. Neither of them seemed to notice
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: how I was feeling. Yes, they don't care. They both
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: have the self-awareness of a doorknob.
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: When leaving the restaurant and when we got into the car,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: my dad turned to my mother and said it was
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: nice to switch it up this time, but he only
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: thought the meal was mid. And she agreed I would
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: go crazy.
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: I don't know if I heard my elderly parents say,
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: this meal's mid. I'd be like, shut up.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: It is mid.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, get out of here. I just asked,
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: do you think it was better than melting pot?
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Hmm.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Well, did you think that you were going to get
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: something different? I just sat there silently but internally screaming,
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: because none of this was ever about celebrating me, and
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: they still had the audacity to complain about the meal
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: they pushed me to agree to. I could feel the
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: salt in the wound.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: It sounds like you've reached a good place of just acceptance.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: But I would hope that, you know, your parents' horrific
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: attitude about you doesn't, you know, affect your self-worth deeply.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: I hope not. I hope not.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Because they suck.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: They suck so bad. They suck so hard. It's crazy
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: how much they suck.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: You know, and it's like, if they are going to
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: judge you and think that you're a little, you know,
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: weird freak that they hate, the least they could do
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: is just keep that inside.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for one day. For one day, we couldn't keep
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: it inside. Also, when we got back for cake, my
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: mother did indeed eat a slice of my cake that
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: I bought. Of course she did. She said she enjoyed
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: the chocolate cake portion with cherry filling, but complained there
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: was too much buttercream frosting.
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: Shut up.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm throwing the cake
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: in her face. Her slice had zero black frosting on it,
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: but she still found something to complain about. I know
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: the verdict is everyone sucks here, but I honestly think
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: most of the commenters suck for thinking there's an age
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: cap on wanting to have a birthday celebration be about
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: you and not the narcissist who raised you.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I agree. That was the argument point?
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: You're 31.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: You're 30 years old.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: You don't need a birthday. What are you, a baby?
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: I hate the idea that you can't have a birthday
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: when you get a certain age. There is nothing wrong
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: with me buying a cake for myself that has a
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: theme to a show I like just because of my age.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: Most of you are bitter and it shows. Again, thank
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: you to those who were kind. You make the world
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: a better place. And that's the end of the story.
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, those people are like, you don't have zero whimsy.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, those people are boring.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Anti-whimsy.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: No whimsy, boring people.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Anti-whimsy. Get out of my face.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Get your lack of whimsy out of my face.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Out of here. And that's the end of this story.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: Let's head to the next one.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fashion host here.
• 26:06
  Speaker 7: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 26:08
  Speaker 7: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: My in-laws agreed to host my twins' first birthday, then
• 26:16
  Speaker 6: sabotaged the guest list.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Now why'd you do that?
• 26:20
  Speaker 6: My husband and I bought my mom's home and are
• 26:23
  Speaker 6: currently doing major renovations to it. We're redoing the plumbing
• 26:27
  Speaker 6: and the bathrooms, for example. As a result, we can't
• 26:30
  Speaker 6: really host any gatherings there until the plumbing and the
• 26:34
  Speaker 6: flooring is done. I knew it would likely not be
• 26:37
  Speaker 6: done in time for our twins' first birthday, which is
• 26:39
  Speaker 6: next weekend. My sister-in-law, sister-in-law two, also is high needs
• 26:44
  Speaker 6: on the ASD scale, and my in-laws don't go many
• 26:47
  Speaker 6: places because taking her with them for any length of
• 26:51
  Speaker 6: time can be a process. ASD is?
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: Autism Spectrum Distorter.
• 26:56
  Speaker 6: Thank you. There's also Becky, who has three nieces, so
• 26:59
  Speaker 6: I want to specify that for brevity. I asked my
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: in-laws if, with both of those things in mind, we
• 27:05
  Speaker 6: could host the boys' first birthday party at their house
• 27:08
  Speaker 6: and plan to do a pool party. They have a
• 27:11
  Speaker 6: decent-sized pool, and we live in South Florida. Mother-in-law asked
• 27:16
  Speaker 6: how many people I would want to invite, and I
• 27:19
  Speaker 6: said the bare bones. But with both of our families
• 27:22
  Speaker 6: and closest friends, that still comes out to be 40
• 27:25
  Speaker 6: to 50 people.
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: Oh, okay. So I got context. They live in South Florida,
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: so you know it's going to get a little crazy.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: It's always a little crazy in South Florida.
• 27:33
  Speaker 6: You ever been to Miami?
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Nope, I've never been to Florida.
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: Both Sophia and I have been to Florida, but by stopover.
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: Haven't you been to Florida for just a stay over?
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: No, I've never been to Florida.
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: No vacation there?
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: Who did that?
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: Missing out.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: I've never been to Florida.
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: Someone's done that here. I've never been to Florida either.
• 27:50
  Speaker 5: I stayed the night.
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: I have been in Destin, Florida.
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: I love it.
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: Is it hot?
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: Beautiful.
• 27:55
  Speaker 6: They agree, and that was that. By the way, this
• 27:58
  Speaker 6: comes from Damalette Dinkels, and if you want to speak
• 28:01
  Speaker 6: on stories, you know where to go. I'm Riley.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia.
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: I'm Dakota.
• 28:05
  Speaker 6: And we're going to read this story goofily with Dakota's clone.
• 28:09
  Speaker 6: And if you want to speak on stories, you know
• 28:10
  Speaker 6: where to go. Please comment. Opie says, I have set
• 28:14
  Speaker 6: very firm boundaries in the past and and also had
• 28:18
  Speaker 6: to cut out my own father because of some effed
• 28:20
  Speaker 6: up crap he did. And he's not allowed to be
• 28:23
  Speaker 6: in my son's life. So they know not to push
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: crap with me. But if they weren't comfortable with it,
• 28:29
  Speaker 6: I told them I would understand. And we look at
• 28:31
  Speaker 6: doing it at a park or something. Mother-in-law said it
• 28:33
  Speaker 6: was fine.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: Just do it at a park.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: I think it's okay if we just did it at
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: a park.
• 28:38
  Speaker 6: Exactly.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: It's okay.
• 28:39
  Speaker 8: Dude, a lot of my great birthdays were at a
• 28:41
  Speaker 8: park where they- I love a park birthday. Where they
• 28:43
  Speaker 8: ran out the- Yeah, the little bungalow or whatever it's called. Yeah, the- Bungalow.
• 28:50
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: The patio?
• 28:51
  Speaker 6: No, something with a pat. I was going to say pav- Oh,
• 28:54
  Speaker 6: is it the- What's it called?
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: Does it start with a G?
• 28:57
  Speaker 6: Moms, you know what it's called.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Garbanzo.
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: Garbanzo beans, yes.
• 29:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah. Do you remember those times?
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: It was so fun.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: I loved it. It was great.
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: What is it called?
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: I would go to Matheson Park in Taylorsville, North Carolina.
• 29:10
  Speaker 6: Beautiful place. And my crush lived right near there.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Perfect. And so she could see how fun you were having.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: At the bungalow.
• 29:17
  Speaker 5: Pavilion.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Pavilion.
• 29:18
  Speaker 6: Pavilion.
• 29:19
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: Thank you, Jess.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: You got it.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Gazebo.
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: Gazebo. It was gazebo.
• 29:24
  Speaker 6: Months later, after I've already made a Facebook event and
• 29:27
  Speaker 6: ordered invitations, father-in-law begins freaking out to my husband that
• 29:32
  Speaker 6: I've invited too many people. Father-in-law is not on Facebook,
• 29:36
  Speaker 6: but I had gotten on my mother-in-law's Facebook and saw
• 29:39
  Speaker 6: the event I made. I added people who could not
• 29:42
  Speaker 6: attend a Facebook event at their request because they wanted
• 29:45
  Speaker 6: the link to the Amazon wishlist I made for the boys.
• 29:49
  Speaker 6: Father-in-law then tells my husband that he said I couldn't
• 29:53
  Speaker 6: have more than 20 people. Keep in mind, that's just me,
• 29:57
  Speaker 6: my husband, and mine, and my husband's siblings and nieces.
• 30:02
  Speaker 6: And all our parents come out to about 25 people.
• 30:06
  Speaker 6: So I don't know how he thought that was reasonable.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, why does he get a say in this?
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: It's his house.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 30:14
  Speaker 6: You tell me the five people.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: I thought they were doing it in a park. Yeah,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: go to a park now.
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: If it wasn't at a park before, it should be now.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: Here's what I'd say.
• 30:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah. Here's the list of people you want to invite
• 30:24
  Speaker 6: five people.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah. You pick. And then you tell them, you
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: look at them in their eyes and you say, you're
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: not invited to my grandson's birthday.
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: Chuck E. Cheese. I think 50 people for Chuck E.
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: Cheese is a little too many.
• 30:35
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that's a good time.
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: It is a great time. It's where a kid can
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: be a kid. I'm trying to remember any of my
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: birthday parties as a kid.
• 30:43
  Speaker 6: You don't remember because you blocked them out?
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: No, I do remember actually one. I remember one really
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: good one. We rented out the airspace museum nearby.
• 30:53
  Speaker 6: That's cool.
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: It was really cool, actually.
• 30:56
  Speaker 6: Cue an afton of backtracking, but he texted me and
• 31:00
  Speaker 6: asked if I could find a new place. I was
• 31:03
  Speaker 6: standing with my mom and my mom's friend, and she
• 31:06
  Speaker 6: graciously offered her house, as they have a new build
• 31:10
  Speaker 6: on an acreage and a large pool as well.
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: Great.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Perfect solution.
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: We have a plan B.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: We've got a solution right here for the taking. All right.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: Love to see it.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 31:21
  Speaker 6: Hopefully that's the end of the story.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right there. End of story. Everyone go home.
• 31:26
  Speaker 6: We're not over.
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: What?
• 31:28
  Speaker 6: We have so much more to say.
• 31:29
  Speaker 7: Stop.
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 31:30
  Speaker 6: I sent a follow-up text to Becky since I never
• 31:33
  Speaker 6: received an RSVP and found out from sister-in-law and mother-in-law today,
• 31:39
  Speaker 6: less than a week before the birthday party, that none
• 31:41
  Speaker 6: of my husband's family will be attending their first birthday party,
• 31:45
  Speaker 6: and instead we're going to throw them a party on
• 31:49
  Speaker 6: the day my mother-in-law helps me by watching the boys
• 31:52
  Speaker 6: so I can work late, meaning I can't be there.
• 31:57
  Speaker 6: I took several hours to cool down and formulate a response,
• 32:01
  Speaker 6: and instead we're going to throw a separate birthday party
• 32:04
  Speaker 6: at a time when they knew I would not be
• 32:06
  Speaker 6: able to attend. That is so messed up.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pretty uncool. That's their mother! They did that
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: really on purpose there, it seems. Why'd they do that
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: on purpose?
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: I don't like that.
• 32:21
  Speaker 6: They had to be strategic behind that.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they were like, hmm, we've been planning this whole time.
• 32:25
  Speaker 6: My mother-in-law is trying to downplay this and say they'd
• 32:28
  Speaker 6: be happy to do it on a Friday instead. But
• 32:30
  Speaker 6: I replied and explained, I will be busy after work
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: on Friday and all day Saturday prepping for the birthday
• 32:37
  Speaker 6: party they were supposed to attend. I can hear someone
• 32:40
  Speaker 6: messaging me, but I honestly don't want to look at it.
• 32:44
  Speaker 6: Am I wrong to be upset about this?
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Obviously not. Obviously not wrong to be upset about this.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: This is very upsetting. I'm upset about this for you.
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: It doesn't make any sense. I feel like there's an
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: underlying reason.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there must be. There must be a reason why.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: But also the reason might just be they don't like you.
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: Maybe that's the underlying reason.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Maybe we don't want to find that out. Maybe we
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: don't want to know that.
• 33:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: I would want to know that. I don't know. If
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: somebody didn't like me and they were just like, there.
• 33:12
  Speaker 6: Why ask a question to an answer you don't want
• 33:15
  Speaker 6: to know?
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: It's true. That's true.
• 33:17
  Speaker 6: That was the whole theme of Men in Black 3.
• 33:23
  Speaker 6: Fun fact. Interesting.
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Edit.
• 33:25
  Speaker 6: Because some comments are still coming in and I kept
• 33:28
  Speaker 6: answering things in the comments. Mother-in-law watching the twins on
• 33:31
  Speaker 6: a Thursdays. In our area, daycare is $ 300 to $ 400
• 33:36
  Speaker 6: a week per kid, and part-time is not an option
• 33:39
  Speaker 6: until they're potty trained. I pay a friend $ 200 to
• 33:42
  Speaker 6: watch them Monday, Wednesday, Fridays, and my mom, who works
• 33:46
  Speaker 6: full-time but has Sundays and Tuesdays off, watches them on Tuesdays.
• 33:51
  Speaker 6: They're not doing this for social media clout or to
• 33:54
  Speaker 6: impress family. His side of the family is smaller, and
• 33:58
  Speaker 6: only mother-in-law and Becky... are on Facebook, and they hardly
• 34:02
  Speaker 6: use it. The only people attending their small party are mother-in-law, father-in-law, Tracy, Becky,
• 34:10
  Speaker 6: her husband, and their three daughters.
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: I'm... Jeez.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: So it's just the.
• 34:16
  Speaker 6: Small family here?
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: It's just the in-laws?
• 34:18
  Speaker 6: So what I'm seeing is the in-laws have beef with
• 34:20
  Speaker 6: your family.
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 34:22
  Speaker 6: Is there a war? It seems like it.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: It seems like they've created a war, and they don't
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: want any of them to come to the kids' birthday party.
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: That's like not about them. It's about the kids.
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: It seems like very controlling.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: Very.
• 34:35
  Speaker 6: I mostly posted because I just needed to vent and
• 34:38
  Speaker 6: wanted validation about my anger slash annoyance because my mom
• 34:42
  Speaker 6: and husband were very calm about this and both were
• 34:46
  Speaker 6: just relieved to not have to deal with father-in-law at
• 34:48
  Speaker 6: the party on Sunday because he's a bit of an a-hole.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Don't sound like the most pleasant guy in town.
• 34:55
  Speaker 6: We have an update.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: Oh boy.
• 34:57
  Speaker 6: You are so validated.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, OP. I really think you should just say, hey, no,
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: we're having it in a park now. Come if you want.
• 35:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah, we're having it at the new, better, bigger pool
• 35:09
  Speaker 6: party area.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry. Didn't tell you. I thought you knew.
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: Oh, you don't like that? You don't like that? It sucks.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: It's okay. You don't have to come.
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: It's not for you.
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's for my children.
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: It's for the twins.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: It's for the twin children.
• 35:22
  Speaker 6: Party for the twins, not just the in-laws.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: Update.
• 35:26
  Speaker 6: I wanted to include some info. that I had a
• 35:29
  Speaker 6: lot of questions on. I have twin sons. They are
• 35:32
  Speaker 6: turning one. So biggish party because biggish family. I have
• 35:37
  Speaker 6: 25 first cousins.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: That's a lot of cousins. That's a lot of cousins.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: I thought I had a lot of cousins. You've got
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: a lot of cousins.
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: I have 25 first cousins. I invited five of them
• 35:49
  Speaker 6: and their spouses and kids and only two confirmed and
• 35:52
  Speaker 6: we're still at 40 plus people. If you don't get this,
• 35:55
  Speaker 6: it's okay. but anyone with a large family understands get-togethers
• 35:59
  Speaker 6: aren't small.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: I do get that. You can't have a family get-together.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: That's not a huge party.
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: Honestly, any Filipino party is just like, this is your
• 36:07
  Speaker 5: cousin who I've never met.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, these are all your cousins.
• 36:10
  Speaker 6: I feel like Filipinos and people from the South are
• 36:13
  Speaker 6: the same. Not like that the same, but when it
• 36:15
  Speaker 6: comes to families, like big families.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: Sure.
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: I wouldn't know the context of a Southern family because
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: I wasn't raised in that.
• 36:20
  Speaker 6: A lot of Southern families, minimum four kids each.
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: It's around, yeah, sure.
• 36:24
  Speaker 6: Three to four, yeah.
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 36:25
  Speaker 6: My mom works full-time and has offered to watch my
• 36:28
  Speaker 6: kids on Sundays and Tuesdays, so she can only watch
• 36:31
  Speaker 6: them on Tuesdays for me. My friend has been watching
• 36:34
  Speaker 6: them on Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and my mother-in-law has
• 36:37
  Speaker 6: been watching them on Thursdays. My friend offered to take
• 36:40
  Speaker 6: over Thursdays if necessary, so I have that in my
• 36:44
  Speaker 6: back pocket now. Taking off one day of work wouldn't
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: normally be an issue, but my husband was out of
• 36:51
  Speaker 6: work for two weeks. He's union and was in between jobs.
• 36:55
  Speaker 6: and in that time ended up at the hospital for
• 36:57
  Speaker 6: a week.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, boy.
• 36:59
  Speaker 6: So I physically could not afford to take off. My
• 37:02
  Speaker 6: friend has already told me to pay her later when
• 37:04
  Speaker 6: I have the money, and I had to pull from
• 37:07
  Speaker 6: savings to make ends meet. My husband and I have
• 37:10
  Speaker 6: both done individual therapy and couples counseling and have come
• 37:14
  Speaker 6: a long way, especially him. It was done before we
• 37:17
  Speaker 6: got married because we wanted to be a united front
• 37:20
  Speaker 6: with all issues, not just his parents. He's usually good
• 37:24
  Speaker 6: about handling them on his own, setting boundaries, and enforcing them.
• 37:28
  Speaker 6: There's a reason I haven't posted on any of the
• 37:31
  Speaker 6: Just Know subreddits in literal years. I can't remember if
• 37:36
  Speaker 6: I posted this in the original post or comment, but
• 37:39
  Speaker 6: I texted mother-in-law and asked her about doing their party
• 37:42
  Speaker 6: slash dinner next Friday after their actual party and didn't
• 37:47
  Speaker 6: hear back from her. This is relevant. She's trying to
• 37:51
  Speaker 6: throw a party without you for some reason.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's the whole point of this post.
• 37:55
  Speaker 6: I had to add, I spent less than $ 100 on
• 37:57
  Speaker 6: the party due to lack of funds. That's awesome.
• 38:00
  Speaker 7: Thanks.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: How'd you do that?
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Well, he said I didn't have the money, so I
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: couldn't go over budget.
• 38:05
  Speaker 6: Quick rabbit hole.
• 38:07
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 38:07
  Speaker 6: Dakota and I read a story where this woman spent
• 38:11
  Speaker 6: five figures on a birthday party.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Five figures on one birthday party?
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: Where was it?
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: Was it for the queen?
• 38:17
  Speaker 7: No.
• 38:17
  Speaker 6: It was for her stepdaughter that didn't like her, but
• 38:22
  Speaker 6: her husband didn't throw her a party, so she kind
• 38:23
  Speaker 6: of got back at them and made a big party
• 38:26
  Speaker 6: kind of for her, hoping the stepdaughter would like it,
• 38:28
  Speaker 6: but stepdaughter doesn't like birthdays, so she just left.
• 38:31
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: It was super crazy.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: I was not there. Dang.
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: I mean, what do you spend the dawn?
• 38:35
  Speaker 6: That's what I'm saying.
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: I mean, I remember seeing those, like, remember MTV's Sweet 16?
• 38:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's what, you know, that just comes to mind.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Ha ha.
• 38:45
  Speaker 6: I ordered a few pizzas, I made cupcakes from scratch,
• 38:48
  Speaker 6: and family brought chips and fruit for sides and some
• 38:52
  Speaker 6: soda and water for drinks. I had already bought my
• 38:54
  Speaker 6: sons a couple of gifts that had been in the
• 38:57
  Speaker 6: back of our closets from before my husband was laid off. Also,
• 39:01
  Speaker 6: I am repaying my friend for the time she watched them.
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: I used Splitwise to track how much I owe her.
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: Now for the actual update. As I mentioned above, I
• 39:10
  Speaker 6: spoke with my friend when I dropped the boys off
• 39:12
  Speaker 6: on Wednesday and with her and she said F that
• 39:16
  Speaker 6: I'll watch them on Thursdays previously she was watching her
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: nephew for her sister-in-law on those days but she's been
• 39:22
  Speaker 6: inconsistent and really only bringing them to her on Tuesdays
• 39:26
  Speaker 6: I thanked her and agreed if it was not resolved
• 39:29
  Speaker 6: I would take Hallelujah. We've got it all sorted. I
• 39:21
  Speaker 6: love this daycare situation you got. Hopefully I'll have something
• 39:24
  Speaker 6: like that when I get older.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Daycare situation?
• 39:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah, we could just downstairs.
• 39:28
  Speaker 8: We'll, uh.
• 39:48
  Speaker 6: Have Dakota watch the kids in John's old room?
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Perfect. It's easy. Done.
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: Easy.
• 39:56
  Speaker 6: Husband and I discussed what to do and agreed he'd
• 39:58
  Speaker 6: call his mom and open it with something to the
• 40:01
  Speaker 6: effect of, Hey, OP sent you a message asking about
• 40:05
  Speaker 6: the next Friday for the boys, but she didn't hear
• 40:08
  Speaker 6: back from you.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: Is that okay? Or Saturday?
• 40:11
  Speaker 6: And then if she was okay with moving it, all
• 40:13
  Speaker 6: would be good. If she got pissy about it, we'd
• 40:15
  Speaker 6: leave the boys with my friend going forward and have
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: a discussion with them about boundaries again.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: I'm done talking about boundaries. Just stop. Get them out
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: of here. I don't want to hear about them anymore.
• 40:29
  Speaker 6: When you start building a fence or something?
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: Yes. Get them out of here. Go to the park
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: and build a fence around the park.
• 40:37
  Speaker 6: The call went well. Mother-in-law apologized and explained them going
• 40:41
  Speaker 6: out of town to the vacation home and had moved
• 40:44
  Speaker 6: up because the cabinets and countertops they had backordered finally
• 40:48
  Speaker 6: gave them a delivery date, and they needed to leave
• 40:51
  Speaker 6: early the next morning, either the day or immediately after
• 40:55
  Speaker 6: the party.
• 40:56
  Speaker 7: Oh, wow.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: Gee whiz, man.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: Gee whiz.
• 40:58
  Speaker 6: Gee whiz.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: Took them too long.
• 41:01
  Speaker 6: Well, at least you figured that out. Why did they
• 41:04
  Speaker 6: communicate that, though? Why are they ignoring you?
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know. They haven't communicated anything well this whole story.
• 41:11
  Speaker 6: I dropped the boys off and mother-in-law apologized to me
• 41:14
  Speaker 6: in person and explained the above to me and that
• 41:17
  Speaker 6: she wasn't thanking, but that Becky was also being a
• 41:20
  Speaker 6: bit of a, but about birthday stuff because she tends
• 41:24
  Speaker 6: to be pretty self-centered, but she's also a major germaphobe.
• 41:29
  Speaker 6: Like she's the level of bad where she needs therapy,
• 41:31
  Speaker 6: but won't get it. I literally had a conversation with
• 41:34
  Speaker 6: one of our nieces about it, audio books and suggested
• 41:38
  Speaker 6: she go to the library and, And get some. And
• 41:40
  Speaker 6: she said they're not allowed at the library because there's
• 41:43
  Speaker 6: too many germs there.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's the worst. Like when you have so many
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: fears and anxieties and you start passing them on to
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: your kids.
• 41:53
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 41:53
  Speaker 6: Not allowing them to do fun things.
• 41:55
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: Because you're like, oh, there's germs on the library books.
• 41:59
  Speaker 6: Trying to solve all the problems at once, mother-in-law just
• 42:02
  Speaker 6: was like, well, we'll just do a small dinner before
• 42:05
  Speaker 6: we leave. And bam, done.
• 42:07
  Speaker 5: Done.
• 42:08
  Speaker 6: Not thinking about my or my husband's availability. So it
• 42:12
  Speaker 6: all worked out, thankfully. We were going to do a
• 42:14
  Speaker 6: small dinner with mother-in-law and father-in-law when they come back
• 42:17
  Speaker 6: in a couple of weeks and enjoy the party on
• 42:19
  Speaker 6: Sunday with everyone else. Husband said there was no sister-in-law
• 42:23
  Speaker 6: or a sign of a party when he picked up
• 42:25
  Speaker 6: the boys.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, good. They didn't have a secret party for your boys.
• 42:30
  Speaker 6: Did you ask them?
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, were you like, boys? Did you have a birthday party?
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Be honest with me. Look me in the eyes. Did
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: you have a birthday party? Was it fun? Did you
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: have a really fun day?
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: Tell me truth.
• 42:42
  Speaker 6: I feel like the only way to find out with
• 42:44
  Speaker 6: them is if they poop in the cakes there.
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: Gross.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: It's worse. I feel like the easiest way to find
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: out is you ask them. Little boys are going to
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: be like, oh my God.
• 42:59
  Speaker 6: When do kids start talking?
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: Talking?
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: What? Not until I was four. You think I'm kidding?
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: No, I don't.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: I knew that about you. You've talked about it before.
• 43:09
  Speaker 6: Wow, four. That's crazy.
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: I don't think you said that. What about you?
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: When did I start talking? I don't know. Somewhere in
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: the age of one to two. Oh, they're one? They've
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: been one this whole time?
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: These twins are one years old?
• 43:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that's said like three times in the story. That's
• 43:27
  Speaker 6: why it's kind of a big issue.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: I did not hear that. I missed that. I thought
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: these kids were six or seven years old.
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: No, no, no.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: These kids were one years old and were complaining about
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: a birthday party? Why are we throwing these kids big
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: birthday parties at all?
• 43:40
  Speaker 6: For their one birthday party?
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: It's a big deal.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: No, I don't remember it. Throw it at Park.
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: No, no, no.
• 43:44
  Speaker 6: It's more like for the parents because you give them
• 43:46
  Speaker 6: a cake and then they eat it. And they're like, alright.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: I don't know. We can throw that at home.
• 43:52
  Speaker 6: I left the state again once to go to my
• 43:55
  Speaker 6: niece's birthday party.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: One years old?
• 43:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 43:58
  Speaker 6: I missed the other one, sadly. Whenever Tay has a kid,
• 44:01
  Speaker 6: I'm going to go to the one-year-old's birthday party.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: You're throwing it to one years old?
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, sure.
• 44:05
  Speaker 7: Bye, folks.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: We've got another story. My ex-husband blamed me for his mess,
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: so I gave him exactly what he asked for.
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: Another mess.
• 44:15
  Speaker 7: So like the title says, I only gave him what
• 44:18
  Speaker 7: he asked for. And it was definitely petty. I was
• 44:23
  Speaker 7: married to a very manly man.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: For 17 years.
• 44:25
  Speaker 7: I ended up doing all the admin tasks and mental
• 44:29
  Speaker 7: load tasks. He had a money-earning job, and I did
• 44:32
  Speaker 7: everything else, even schedule this man's dental appointments and buy
• 44:36
  Speaker 7: his parents' birthday cards. At first it was fine, but
• 44:39
  Speaker 7: eventually not so much. And he refused to change, so
• 44:42
  Speaker 7: things came to a head and ended. I'm sure after
• 44:45
  Speaker 7: I left, he was unpleasantly surprised to discover how much
• 44:48
  Speaker 7: work his assistant did. Anyway, it's been five years, we
• 44:52
  Speaker 7: have our own lives, and I don't think about him much,
• 44:55
  Speaker 7: and we certainly don't talk. But one day, I start
• 44:58
  Speaker 7: getting calls from him. He explained to me that he
• 45:01
  Speaker 7: never removed me from his home and auto insurance and says,
• 45:04
  Speaker 7: they won't remove you unless you call. He is pissy
• 45:08
  Speaker 7: and keeps calling me and saying I have to do
• 45:10
  Speaker 7: this right away and being very rude. It's been five years,
• 45:13
  Speaker 7: and now it's an emergency?
• 45:15
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 45:16
  Speaker 7: He ends up calling me every day for a week
• 45:20
  Speaker 7: and saying I've created a problem for him. By the way,
• 45:25
  Speaker 7: this comes from Diligent Cheerio902, and if you want to
• 45:28
  Speaker 7: submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok
• 45:30
  Speaker 7: story time subreddit.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah.
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 45:32
  Speaker 7: And we're here to give some advice in a little
• 45:34
  Speaker 7: goofy way, but we don't have all your answers. So
• 45:37
  Speaker 7: let us know what you would do, and we are
• 45:39
  Speaker 7: going to tell you what we would do.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: As Hopey says.
• 45:42
  Speaker 7: I called the company and the woman on the phone says, No,
• 45:45
  Speaker 7: we totally would have removed you. He never asked. I
• 45:48
  Speaker 7: can see there is no record of him calling ever.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, really?
• 45:53
  Speaker 7: She then says, You know, moving him from married to
• 45:56
  Speaker 7: a single man, this is going to raise his rate considerably.
• 46:00
  Speaker 7: Is he sure this is important to him?
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: I laughed. Oh, yes, very important.
• 46:05
  Speaker 7: In fact, I haven't lived there for five years, so
• 46:07
  Speaker 7: his current policy should really be backdated. She laughs and says, Yes,
• 46:12
  Speaker 7: he's going to get a large bill.
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: I like how the insurance person knows exactly what you're doing.
• 46:19
  Speaker 5: She's like, I like this game. I'm going to help
• 46:21
  Speaker 5: you out.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: She said, oh, girl. Girls team. It's girl team now.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: Not my problem anymore. Edit.
• 46:31
  Speaker 7: Okay, since apparently this matters to people, I'm assuming the
• 46:34
  Speaker 7: agent meant for the current contract slash policy, which means
• 46:37
  Speaker 7: just this year. I honestly didn't ask because I don't
• 46:40
  Speaker 7: really care anymore. And that wasn't why I called them.
• 46:43
  Speaker 7: And yes, he is under 40, so I think maybe
• 46:45
  Speaker 7: that affects it, but again, I didn't ask.
• 46:48
  Speaker 5: He's under 40?
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: And he acts like that? I just assumed he was
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: like a grown man, like 50 years old.
• 46:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he's such a manly boy.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: No, literally.
• 46:59
  Speaker 5: My mommy used to do it for me, my wife
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: used to do it for me, but now I have
• 47:02
  Speaker 5: nobody to do it for me. I'm kind of... I
• 47:04
  Speaker 5: don't know how to do this.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: So five years later, I'm going to call my ex-wife.
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: Did you do it yet?
• 47:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 47:09
  Speaker 5: Did you do it yet? Did you do it yet?
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: Literally.
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry, girl. Did you do it yet?
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: No, it's like a kid like in the back of
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: a car when you're on a road trip. They're like,
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: are we there yet?
• 47:20
  Speaker 5: Are we there yet?
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:21
  Speaker 7: I don't spend a lot of brain power on this
• 47:23
  Speaker 7: guy anymore. I do think people are probably right about
• 47:26
  Speaker 7: him having a new girl.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: That was upset.
• 47:29
  Speaker 7: LOL. And at number two, side note, he's 39 until
• 47:33
  Speaker 7: September and we got together when he was 18. And yes,
• 47:37
  Speaker 7: we've actually only been separated 4.7 years.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: So y'all can stop being confused by the math. There
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: is an update.
• 47:44
  Speaker 5: A little confused by your 4.7 years, but yes.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: That's the only math that confused me here. I could
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: have figured it out if you didn't put that.
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: Almost five, literally almost five years.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just 4.7 actually. Update. So y'all were right.
• 48:00
  Speaker 7: It never occurred to me that he'd be suddenly concerned
• 48:03
  Speaker 7: my name was on the progressive car slash home insurance
• 48:06
  Speaker 7: bill because of a new girl.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: But that was absolutely why. I have full.
• 48:12
  Speaker 7: Legal and physical custody of the kids, and he doesn't
• 48:15
  Speaker 7: have anything to do with them.
• 48:17
  Speaker 5: You guys have kids? That's new.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was some info dump.
• 48:22
  Speaker 7: But our son recently had a minor surgery, and of
• 48:25
  Speaker 7: course insurance has been giving us the runaround even.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: After pre-approving the procedure. Thanks, United. Great job.
• 48:32
  Speaker 7: He's the primary insurance holder due to his job, so
• 48:35
  Speaker 7: I can only do so much. So I had to
• 48:38
  Speaker 7: call him and ask him to call them, even though
• 48:40
  Speaker 7: I already did all the paperwork. Being a grown-up is
• 48:43
  Speaker 7: so awesome, by the way. Normally, he told me to
• 48:47
  Speaker 7: just use his signature and info because he can't be bothered,
• 48:50
  Speaker 7: but I can't do a man's voice. And yes, everyone
• 48:53
  Speaker 7: who thought I probably know his social and stuff, I
• 48:56
  Speaker 7: absolutely do. Plus his parents' birthdays, etc. He doesn't even
• 49:00
  Speaker 7: remember his own kids' birthdays. When we were on the phone,
• 49:04
  Speaker 7: he suddenly started ranting about how expensive everything is.
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: How he's so broke.
• 49:10
  Speaker 7: Because he bought a brand new car and then suddenly
• 49:13
  Speaker 7: had a pipe burst and it cost him a fortune
• 49:15
  Speaker 7: to fix the kitchen.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: Wall and floor and part of the garage. So that
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: tells me.
• 49:20
  Speaker 7: he needed to access the insurance but then he starts
• 49:23
  Speaker 7: telling me how awesome his new girl is because she
• 49:26
  Speaker 7: stepped up and put money into the house the house
• 49:30
  Speaker 7: he now tells me she lives in rent free i
• 49:34
  Speaker 7: don't know pitching in In that case, seems like the
• 49:37
  Speaker 7: least someone could do, but okay, not my business.
• 49:41
  Speaker 5: Sounds like also not your problem.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: I mean, screw this guy. He's just a man child.
• 49:46
  Speaker 5: I feel like OP has less of a headache and
• 49:49
  Speaker 5: doesn't have to deal with it as much, which is
• 49:51
  Speaker 5: good for you, OP. Okay, he goes, oh, the bills
• 49:55
  Speaker 5: are so expensive. And you're like, yeah, those are your bills. Sorry. Oops. Wait, what?
• 50:01
  Speaker 5: Have your new girlfriend help you out.
• 50:03
  Speaker 7: Oh, if she really steps up, she'll step up to
• 50:05
  Speaker 7: do all this for you as well, I'm sure, since
• 50:07
  Speaker 7: she's so great. I just don't really know why he
• 50:10
  Speaker 7: thinks I'll be a sympathetic ear to the situation. I
• 50:14
  Speaker 7: was like, yeah, okay, well, text me when you've called
• 50:17
  Speaker 7: United so I can call the hospital back.
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: Bye.
• 50:19
  Speaker 7: I don't have a lot of sympathy because this man
• 50:22
  Speaker 7: makes over 120K per year and pays 20K of that
• 50:27
  Speaker 7: in child support for three kids he hasn't seen in
• 50:30
  Speaker 7: a year. Yeah.
• 50:32
  Speaker 5: Don't feel bad. Honestly, you should be getting more money.
• 50:36
  Speaker 7: And he's too busy going on vacations to even call
• 50:38
  Speaker 7: or text them.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: So I don't really give a crap if his pipes burst.
• 50:43
  Speaker 7: I hope new younger model woman gave him an earful
• 50:46
  Speaker 7: for still having my name on everything. And I hope
• 50:49
  Speaker 7: Progressive sends him a huge bill on that brand new car. Huh.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: The situation really brought out the pissy in me.
• 50:55
  Speaker 7: Oh well.
• 50:59
  Speaker 5: OP go piss girl.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: Go piss, girl.
• 51:01
  Speaker 4: Come on.
• 51:02
  Speaker 5: Get all that out of you.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: Get that piss out, girl.
• 51:04
  Speaker 7: But that is the end of that story, and we
• 51:06
  Speaker 7: got another one coming right up.
• 51:08
  Speaker 5: My husband begged me to let him cheat, but I
• 51:12
  Speaker 5: said no.
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: Are you serious?
• 51:14
  Speaker 5: My husband and I have been together for 10 years.
• 51:17
  Speaker 5: A very happy marriage. Recently, though, he told me he
• 51:20
  Speaker 5: had constant thoughts about wanting to have spicy sleep with
• 51:23
  Speaker 5: his co-worker. who, according to him, has a boyfriend of
• 51:27
  Speaker 5: six years. And he asked me if I could give
• 51:29
  Speaker 5: him permission to have spicy sleep with her. This was
• 51:31
  Speaker 5: very hard for me to hear because I am not
• 51:34
  Speaker 5: okay with him having spicy sleep with another woman, but
• 51:37
  Speaker 5: also because he was about to go on a business
• 51:40
  Speaker 5: trip with her. Just the two of them for this
• 51:42
  Speaker 5: business trip. On the first day of this trip, they
• 51:44
  Speaker 5: did a lot of things together, like each other, which
• 51:47
  Speaker 5: is fine, but come to find out, he invited her
• 51:50
  Speaker 5: into his room to watch a show together. When he
• 51:53
  Speaker 5: got home, we had many arguments about this, and I
• 51:55
  Speaker 5: asked why he was so sure he could ask her
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: to have spicy sleep without her being livid or getting fired,
• 52:02
  Speaker 5: to which he replied with, because he believes the feeling
• 52:05
  Speaker 5: is mutual and that there is spicy-related tension on her
• 52:08
  Speaker 5: side as well. Again, Lots of fighting. But in the end,
• 52:12
  Speaker 5: he agreed to boundaries with this person. Mostly, not bringing
• 52:16
  Speaker 5: her into a hotel room together. By the way, this
• 52:18
  Speaker 5: comes from user AdLivid1365. And if you want to submit
• 52:21
  Speaker 5: your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 52:23
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah.
• 52:25
  Speaker 5: And we're going to speak about this story. We're going
• 52:27
  Speaker 5: to tell you what we know. And I guarantee you,
• 52:30
  Speaker 5: you're going to agree with us on this story. But
• 52:33
  Speaker 5: let us know what you do in the comments down below.
• 52:35
  Speaker 5: Pretty please. As Opie says, fast forward a couple weeks.
• 52:39
  Speaker 5: He had another trip with this woman. When he gets there,
• 52:45
  Speaker 5: his room was canceled. I called him when he was
• 52:47
  Speaker 5: at dinner with this girl and asked if he found
• 52:50
  Speaker 5: a room to which he said, no, he hadn't found
• 52:53
  Speaker 5: a room and he didn't know what he was going
• 52:55
  Speaker 5: to do. Come to find out that that was a
• 52:58
  Speaker 5: lie that I caught him in. He did sleep in
• 53:00
  Speaker 5: the same room as this woman, but claimed that he
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: had a cot that he slept on. Now, he is
• 53:06
  Speaker 5: telling me he doesn't want boundaries with her. Only that
• 53:09
  Speaker 5: he won't ever cheat on me, so anything else should
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: be okay. I feel this isn't okay. I guess I'm
• 53:15
  Speaker 5: wondering if I'm being unreasonable. If he doesn't cheat, does
• 53:18
  Speaker 5: that mean that this should be okay? OP, let's ask
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: the real questions here. Why are you still with this man?
• 53:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah, if he obviously wants to be with someone else,
• 53:30
  Speaker 7: I'd be like, yeah, you want to go sleep with her?
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, cool. Then I'm going to go because I'm not
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: dealing with all this.
• 53:37
  Speaker 5: Hey, could I talk to her husband? Since this is
• 53:40
  Speaker 5: a play date that you guys coordinated, let me talk
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: to her husband just so we can compare notes and
• 53:44
  Speaker 5: make sure we mutually agree on this. Let's say for
• 53:46
  Speaker 5: argument's sake that I believe he hasn't cheated and that
• 53:49
  Speaker 5: I believe him when he says he never will. Am
• 53:52
  Speaker 5: I crazy for thinking that there should still be boundaries here?
• 53:56
  Speaker 5: Even if he hasn't cheated on me with her, this
• 53:59
  Speaker 5: is where he's making me feel like I'm crazy for
• 54:02
  Speaker 5: asking for boundaries. Advice, please. And we have an update.
• 54:06
  Speaker 5: My advice is break up with him. Divorce it is.
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: Mine is break up with him. Divorce.
• 54:15
  Speaker 5: We have an update. Let's find out because this is insane. Also,
• 54:19
  Speaker 5: why are these the only two people that are going
• 54:21
  Speaker 5: on the same work trip?
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 54:23
  Speaker 7: And all of this, like, it's just the blatant, or
• 54:27
  Speaker 7: the blatant disrespect that he has and that he's put
• 54:30
  Speaker 7: you in this position for you to feel this way.
• 54:33
  Speaker 7: And then also is like trying to sneak around and
• 54:35
  Speaker 7: lie his way through, like saying.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, we never did anything. I slept somewhere else. Like, no,
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: you didn't.
• 54:40
  Speaker 5: I don't know. The biggest, giantest red flag in this
• 54:44
  Speaker 5: is he goes, hey, let me ask my wife if
• 54:46
  Speaker 5: I can cheat on her or AKA sleep with another woman.
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: Uh, One.
• 54:50
  Speaker 5: And then right after this, to make it so transparent,
• 54:54
  Speaker 5: I'm going on a work trip with her. Just us two.
• 54:57
  Speaker 5: That'll be fine, right?
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: Like, is it even a work trip?
• 55:00
  Speaker 5: I don't think so. We have an update. So I
• 55:03
  Speaker 5: took the woman out for lunch because at the time
• 55:05
  Speaker 5: my husband said it would help me to see that
• 55:07
  Speaker 5: she is a good person and that there was nothing
• 55:11
  Speaker 5: going on between them. So I took her to lunch
• 55:14
  Speaker 5: and paid for it and apologized to her. She acted
• 55:17
  Speaker 5: like she had no idea. She did. I later found out.
• 55:21
  Speaker 5: My husband admitted to kissing her and holding her hand
• 55:23
  Speaker 5: back to the hotel. He says, oh, that happened. Then
• 55:27
  Speaker 5: after the kiss, he immediately regretted it. He regretted it,
• 55:30
  Speaker 5: and then he said, I don't want boundaries with her.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sounds like a lot of hoopla.
• 55:37
  Speaker 5: He says that absolutely nothing happened on the next trip
• 55:40
  Speaker 5: where he slept in her hotel room for a night
• 55:42
  Speaker 5: because his room wasn't booked for that specific night. So
• 55:45
  Speaker 5: she came to his rescue. I called her and she
• 55:48
  Speaker 5: denies everything. Says nothing ever happened between them. Not sure
• 55:52
  Speaker 5: why my husband would lie about cheating. We have a
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: second update. So this is gonna be your ex-husband, right?
• 55:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 55:58
  Speaker 5: I have now gotten eight, I'm going to repeat that,
• 56:01
  Speaker 5: eight different versions of his truth.
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, P.
• 56:05
  Speaker 7: Just, I mean, I wouldn't even be asking for, as
• 56:08
  Speaker 7: soon as the story changes, like if he tells me
• 56:10
  Speaker 7: something and I don't immediately believe him, I'll ask again.
• 56:13
  Speaker 7: And if he tells me a whole different story, I'm
• 56:15
  Speaker 7: freaking done.
• 56:16
  Speaker 5: I'm done.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: I'm out of there.
• 56:18
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: Go have fun. Apparently you don't care about me.
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: Bye.
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: Hope it's worth it.
• 56:22
  Speaker 5: I give him eight different reasons why I'm divorcing him.
• 56:25
  Speaker 5: After every new version, I attempt to cope. Then he
• 56:28
  Speaker 5: admits to something else. I cope, lather, rinse, repeat. The
• 56:32
  Speaker 5: most up-to-date version is that everyone was right. He did
• 56:35
  Speaker 5: have spicy sleep with her on both trips that they
• 56:37
  Speaker 5: went on. Yep. The full version was told to me
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: about two months ago. I'm not even sure if that
• 56:43
  Speaker 5: is really all of it, or not. But to be honest,
• 56:46
  Speaker 5: it doesn't matter at this point. I don't trust anything anymore.
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, f * * * me.
• 56:52
  Speaker 5: Opie says, I forgave him. Oh my. And now you're
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: an a-hole.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't, whatever. If you condone this behavior, do it.
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: But now you're just as bad as him now.
• 57:06
  Speaker 5: I finally got to the point where being angry was
• 57:08
  Speaker 5: only hurting me, not him and not her, just me.
• 57:13
  Speaker 5: I don't feel anger towards him anymore. Now we are
• 57:16
  Speaker 5: in the let's see what happens phase. I know a
• 57:19
  Speaker 5: lot of people will crucify me for not divorcing.
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: Us.
• 57:23
  Speaker 7: And everyone else, I'm sure, on Reddit.
• 57:25
  Speaker 5: Crucifying you. It's not that easy for me. He was
• 57:29
  Speaker 5: the love of my life for all of these years.
• 57:31
  Speaker 5: I never trusted anyone in my whole life, besides my mom,
• 57:35
  Speaker 5: the way I trusted him. He is the father of
• 57:38
  Speaker 5: my three kids. The realities of my marriage feel shaken,
• 57:41
  Speaker 5: and I want to make sure I have done absolutely
• 57:43
  Speaker 5: everything to save it before I throw in the towel.
• 57:46
  Speaker 5: Girly Pop!
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: He cheated on you!
• 57:48
  Speaker 5: He threw in the towel. He threw the towel at you.
• 57:52
  Speaker 5: Trillions of times. You went, rinse, rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat.
• 57:57
  Speaker 5: Let me use that towel again. Throw it back at
• 57:59
  Speaker 5: my face.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: Like, this guy is just walking.
• 58:02
  Speaker 7: You are a doormat. This guy is just walking all
• 58:05
  Speaker 7: over you, doing whatever he wants. Like, why did he even...
• 58:08
  Speaker 7: He should have, I mean, truthfully, he should have just
• 58:11
  Speaker 7: done it behind your back. Because, I mean, it doesn't
• 58:13
  Speaker 7: even matter. Even if he tells you or doesn't tell you,
• 58:15
  Speaker 7: you're still going to stay.
• 58:16
  Speaker 5: That is the end of that story.
• 58:19
  Speaker 6: What?
• 58:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that is the end of it.
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 58:22
  Speaker 5: I'm going to the comments.
• 58:23
  Speaker 7: OP, I don't wish you good luck. I hope your
• 58:26
  Speaker 7: kids are okay with all this. Because that's going to
• 58:29
  Speaker 7: be a lot of trauma.
• 58:31
  Speaker 5: It's already a lot of trauma. I'm traumatized.
• 58:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 58:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 58:34
  Speaker 5: All the comments are just like, holy crap. You're an
• 58:36
  Speaker 5: a-hole to yourself at this point.
• 58:38
  Speaker 2: What an idiot.
• 58:39
  Speaker 5: Sorry, OP. I don't, I want to feel bad for you.
• 58:42
  Speaker 5: I cannot feel bad for you. I know you're like, oh,
• 58:45
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to save my relationship. What's there to save?
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: Like, do it for your kids. Why are you, you're
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: teaching your kids that this is a good example of
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: a marriage. Like, what? This is stupid.
• 58:55
  Speaker 7: Yeah, daddy can go and see his friends. Mommy's just
• 58:57
  Speaker 7: going to be right here, just waiting for him to
• 59:00
  Speaker 7: come back. But everything's going to work out, though.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: It's all good.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: My wife asked me to stop working out because I
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: lost weight. and got fit.
• 59:11
  Speaker 5: No.
• 59:12
  Speaker 7: My wife, 35 female, does not feel comfortable with me,
• 59:15
  Speaker 7: 40 male, working out and going to the gym anymore
• 59:18
  Speaker 7: and is suggesting I quit. I have always been slightly
• 59:22
  Speaker 7: overweight in my 20s and 30s and really let go
• 59:25
  Speaker 7: during the pandemic and gained a lot of weight. It
• 59:29
  Speaker 7: started bothering me, and hence last January I joined a
• 59:32
  Speaker 7: local gym and hired a personal trainer. I lost most
• 59:35
  Speaker 7: of the excess weight, and the trainer also helped me
• 59:37
  Speaker 7: gain muscle. I love going to the gym now and
• 59:40
  Speaker 7: working out three or four times a week. My wife,
• 59:43
  Speaker 7: of course, loved my dedication, and I sometimes found her
• 59:46
  Speaker 7: staring at me when I was changing, which was cute. Overall,
• 59:50
  Speaker 7: my confidence improved, and I also started dressing nicely, and
• 59:54
  Speaker 7: everything just fit right. I had a situation happen to
• 59:57
  Speaker 7: me in the summer at my workplace. My wife's friend, Betty,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 7: also works in my company. One of the girls in
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 7: my company, Jayla, late 20s female from a different department,
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 7: started becoming very friendly with me, started joining me for lunches,
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 7: and slacking me through the day about random talk bits.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 7: I would be busy and try to be polite and
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 7: ignore her. However, things got weird when she got hold
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 7: of my phone number, which only my manager knows in office.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 7: and started messaging me after hours. By the way, this
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 7: comes from ThrowawayFat2024, and if you want to submit your
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 7: own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 7: And we're here to give some good advice in a
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 7: little goofy way, but we don't have all your answers.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 7: We'd only let you know what we would do, but
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 7: let us know what you would do down in the comments.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 7: As Opie says, I immediately drew a line and told
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 7: her it's not acceptable and to only talk to me
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 7: via company messenger. as I do not talk to work
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 7: colleagues on my personal phone. I also started ignoring her
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 7: after that, except for a polite hello when we came
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 7: face to face. My wife asked me to report her
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 7: to HR, but I did not because she never messaged
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 7: me about anything inappropriate. My wife checked with her friend Betty,
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 7: and she told my wife that Jayla and her friends
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 7: were discussing my weight loss and how I have completely
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 7: changed the way I dress. Again, I ignored it, as
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 7: I wasn't sure this was enough to be reported to HR.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 7: The day before yesterday, during our Christmas party, Jayla approached
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 7: me twice and asked me to join her on the
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 7: dance floor. I declined and just went.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: About my way.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 7: By the end of the night, she came to me,
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 7: started dancing suggestively in front of me, and did something
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 7: highly inappropriate. I was shocked and fell back, spilling my
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 7: drink on myself. Jayla's manager swooped in and told me
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 7: she had too much to drink, and I never saw
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 7: Jayla again at the party. When I reached home, my
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 7: wife had already heard about the incident from Betty, She
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 7: was crying and was angry at me. She blamed me
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 7: for not reporting Jayla to HR when she had told
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 7: me to. She also said I was wasted, which I
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 7: was not, and had only three drinks during a three-hour party,
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 7: and stank like whiskey. After I calmed her down, she
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 7: asked me to shower and rest. She apologized before sleeping,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 7: but told me she felt very violated by Jayla's actions,
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 7: and I promised her I would meet with my manager
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 7: and HR as soon as the office opened again, which
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 7: is after New Year's. In the morning, I woke up
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 7: and started getting ready to go to the gym. My
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 7: wife asked me if I could not go to the gym.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 7: I said, okay, and we both cooked a nice breakfast
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 7: and had fun family time with our toddler. Afterwards, my
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 7: wife asked me if I could hold off going to
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 7: the gym for a while. She told me that she
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 7: feels insecure when other women look at me and yesterday
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 7: was a deal breaker. We never had any similar issues
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 7: in the 11 years of our marriage. She loved me
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 7: just the way I was and did not care if
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 7: I became muscular. She told me that the purpose of
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 7: the gym was to lose weight and I have already
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 7: achieved it so I can just maintain where I am
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 7: at and not work out further. Upon further probing, she
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 7: told me that my losing weight had been a hot
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 7: topic among her friends group and she had a fallout
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 7: with one of her friends because she made some spicy
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 7: related comments about me. All of this is making her
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 7: very anxious. On one hand, I love working out now.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 7: For the first time in my life, it makes me
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 7: feel confident. On the other hand, I want my wife
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 7: to be happy. And this is a very small price
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 7: to pay in my books. I know she is being
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 7: insecure and controlling, but I love her and the life
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 7: we have built together. And all I want to do
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 7: is see her being comfortable and happy. I am holding
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 7: off going to the gym till New Year's and enjoying
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 7: the holidays with my family. However, am I wrong to
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 7: want to continue after that? How do I convince my
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 7: wife to not be insecure? I know there is no switch.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 7: And what have people in this situation done? And there
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 7: is an update.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 5: A couple things you can do. you know, obviously the
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 5: easy one is you stop doing the gym, but that's
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 5: not going to make you happy. It's gonna make your
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 5: wife happy, but we, I agree. I already can tell
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 5: that it's not gonna make you happy.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 5: So that, that's not a good compromise. Um, yeah.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 7: The fact that this is like a normal hobby that
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 7: people have, that when you feel, when you work out,
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 7: you feel good, especially when you see progress, you kind
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 7: of get a to that.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: But not in a bad way, just in a good
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: way of like, I feel good. I'm watching what I eat.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: I'm doing the work. I'm putting in, you know, self-discipline.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 5: Like, everything's working out. And OP seems like a great husband,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 5: great partner. He's like, he wants to make his wife happy.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 5: I think what you need to do, there's two options
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 5: that really sprung to me was, one, bring her to
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 5: the gym with you. Work out with your wife.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: If you have a.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 5: Toddler, maybe a babysitter, but maybe.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: You should come... Sometimes they have babysitting at gyms.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 5: At the gym, yeah. Maybe... You know what? Bring the
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 5: toddler to the gym. Get that toddler swole.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: Come on. Start him young.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 5: That's the first one. And if she doesn't want to
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 5: do that option, second option, counseling.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 7: I think she would benefit from some therapy because insecurity, insecurity,
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 7: very hard.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: to treat on your own.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 5: Once that seed is planted yeah it's really hard and
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 5: the fear just keeps or anxiety just keeps repeating itself
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 5: it's never gonna leave.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 7: Yeah you gotta she definitely like she's seen you do
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 7: all the work and i think maybe you know it
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 7: makes her insecure makes her a little jealous you know
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 7: uh and she's seeing all the attention that you're getting
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 7: and now maybe it was reversed the way before and
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 7: now she feels left in the dark or.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: Something I think I agree with Keon.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 7: Like either go, she can also come to the gym
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 7: with you or definitely like seek counseling. Like not, it
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 7: doesn't need to be couples counseling more just her because
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 7: it seems like she's, she has this internal problem that
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 7: she's not dealing with and it's only gonna keep getting
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 7: worse and worse if she just keeps pushing under the rug.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 5: Truly.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 7: But she shouldn't be offended or not supported by, because
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 7: you're supporting yourself.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: That's a red flag to me.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 5: You just need to tell her, hey, I understand. It's
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 5: not fair to me to completely just stop doing that.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 5: Maybe update less, but let's find out in this update.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: Update!
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 7: To be honest, after reading the comments during the few
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 7: hours or so, I realized I was the a-hole for
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 7: posting about my wife's reaction in such a sensitive situation.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 7: I just wanted to get perspectives from people in a
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 7: comparable situation. However, I just had the internet judge her
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 7: when she was at her most vulnerable. I tried to
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 7: defend her in the comments section, but things got out
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 7: of hand quickly and I decided to just stop reading
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 7: the comments for a while and plan my day.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: I wanted to.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 7: Thank a lot of people who pointed out that her
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 7: insecurity may be stemming from me not showing her that
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 7: she is the most important person to me. I cooked
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 7: her a nice dinner, and I asked her after dinner
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 7: if I had been ignoring her due to the gym
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 7: or if I had given her any reason to mistrust me.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 7: According to her, I have been fine, but she has
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 7: been having issues for many months now.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: She said she was.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 7: Proud of what I had achieved, and initially, she used
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 7: to feel good when everyone complimented me. However, she did
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 7: start getting insecure when I started receiving more female attention.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 7: She also felt I was enjoying it and didn't put
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 7: enough boundaries. Her examples were that a lot of my
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 7: female friends were complimenting my body and getting handsy, like
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 7: pressing my arms and hugging excessively, and I didn't stop that.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 7: She also said that she caught some of her friends
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 7: talking to me in a very flirty way, but I
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 7: just kept on being polite and continued talking as normal. Also,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 7: she didn't like her friends talking about me or asking
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 7: her constantly if I was going to come to the get-togethers.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 7: When one of her friends expressed some pretty disgusting thoughts
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 7: to another friend in private and she came to know,
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 7: there was a big fight in their group. Some of
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 7: her friends also cut contact with that friend. Overall, she
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 7: has been struggling with these thoughts for the last six
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 7: months and talks to her therapist about it. She also
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 7: mentioned that food was an important part of our relationship.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 7: She is an amazing cook and loves to bake. Although
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 7: she still bakes for my kids, she said that I
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 7: only eat in very small portions when she cooks nice
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 7: meals for me. It feels as if she is only
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 7: cooking for herself and has stopped making nice meals. She
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 7: used to enjoy the fact that I liked her cooking.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 7: She also misses the food I used to cook for her.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 7: So we set some ground rules. A, I won't talk
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 7: about how I am getting my 180 gram of protein
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 7: every day. Okay, that one kind of sounds a little
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 7: weird and, like, pushy, though. eat it and I will
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 7: enjoy it. See, she can ask me to cook her
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 7: favorite meals and I must oblige.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: Okay. That one kind of sounds a little weird and
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: like pushy though.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 7: Like when I ask you to make your meals, you
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 7: stop everything you're doing to make it. Like I must oblige.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 5: Weird, weird way of wording it. I think I understand.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: I don't think that's what you meant, but very weird.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 7: And of course she never intended for me to stop
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 7: going to the gym and was just upset with the
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 7: whole situation.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: So that is resolved. Um, I don't know.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 5: I mean, it seems like you guys are trying to
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 5: find a good compromise, which, but hopefully I think you
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 5: both understand where you're both coming from. And that compromise
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 5: is a good middle for both of you.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 7: I think that you guys are, you're figuring it out
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 7: and it is a new chapter in your lives. And,
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 7: and he's, you know, OP is trying to figure it out.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 7: OP's wife's trying to figure it out. And you're also
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 7: trying to figure it out together. So I think the
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 7: more you communicate, the better it's going to get. As
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 7: for Jayla, the situation is still ongoing. My manager talked
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 7: to me the day after the incident and told me
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 7: she wouldn't take it lightly and had already contacted HR.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 7: HR reached out to me yesterday afternoon to paraphrase their email.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 7: It talked about how they want to create a safe workplace, blah, blah.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 7: Jayla gave a letter of apology to her manager and
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 7: her manager forwarded it to HR. She said that she
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 7: was offered too many shots and got blackout wasted and
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 7: does not remember the end of the evening. She thanked
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 7: her manager for taking her to her hotel room safely.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 7: She also offered to never drink booze at corporate events
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 7: or during office happy hours. HR set up a meeting
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 7: with me and my manager after we get back from
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 7: the break, as they want to make sure I am okay.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 7: I wanted to get an opinion from anyone who works
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 7: in HR here. I'm going to tell my side of
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 7: the story, including the past messages, etc. However, what is
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 7: the process that HR follows here? What is really the
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 7: point of this and what outcome should I expect?
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: P.S.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 7: Thanks to people who messaged me about mental health stuff
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 7: and PPD. I am sorry I ignored all of your chats,
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 7: but appreciate it. And that's the end. Wow. Well, it
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 7: seems like things are kind of working themselves out in
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 7: a way. I just hope that, I mean, I don't
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 7: really care about Jayla. Whatever happens to her happens. She
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 7: kind of did to herself, so whatever.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, honestly, I'm not being friendly with Jayla anymore. I'm like, okay,
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 5: I'm being professional with you, but I'm not being friendly.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if she even stays.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 7: Who knows if don't fire her or not but I
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 7: don't know I think that again the more you communicate
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 7: the more things are gonna go smooth for you guys
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 7: so I think just keep the communication and you know
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 7: keep the love there truly and take care of your
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 7: toddler as well bring him to the gym that's the
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 7: end of that story we got another one come.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 3: Around up hey this is Riley your favorite southern belle
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 3: we're gonna get back to these stories but here's three
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 3: minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 5: My husband always takes my sister's side, so I finally
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 5: asked him why.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: What, do you have a crush on her or something?
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 5: The other day, my husband, 39 male, and I, 39 female,
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 5: were at my sister Laura's, 45 females, house for my
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 5: nephew's 6th birthday party. It was her family, my mom,
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 5: my older sister, and us. My mom has always liked
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 5: having nice pictures of everyone whenever we have family events,
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 5: so we usually dress somewhat nice. It's not a big
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 5: deal if one of us doesn't, but that tends to
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 5: be our tradition. Laura had to do some work earlier
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 5: and didn't finish until we were almost done making dinner.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 5: When dinner was finished, she was just in a sweatshirt
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 5: and yoga pants. We tease each other all the time,
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 5: so I made a joke about how we'd have to
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 5: leave her out of the picture this year. She laughed
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 5: and went on with the party. Obviously, she was in
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 5: the picture when we took it. It was just a
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 5: dumb joke. After my husband and I got home... He
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 5: made a comment about how rude it was for me
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 5: to criticize Laura for the way she was dressed in
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 5: her own home. I told him it was a joke,
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 5: and she even laughed at it, but he still insisted
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 5: that it was rude, and that Laura's just too nice
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 5: to say anything about it and make any waves. We
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 5: got into a bit of a fight about it, because
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 5: there have been many times in the past where I
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 5: would get mad at Laura about something, and he'd try
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 5: to defend her instead of taking my side. By the way,
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 5: this comes from a deleted user, and if you want
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 5: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 5: okstorytime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah.
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 5: And we're here to give good advice goofily. We don't
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 5: know everything. We only know what we do, so let
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 5: us know what you do in the comments down below. Please.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 5: As Opie says... So, during this fight, I admitted I
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 5: was slightly annoyed that my mom and I spent so
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 5: much time cooking and making the cake... And we still
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 5: managed to dress up like usual, while Laura had a
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 5: good hour after she was done working to throw on
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 5: a nice shirt or a dress or just something nice,
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 5: especially since we were at her house. I wasn't angry
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 5: about it. It was just like a passing thought I
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 5: had when she came in for dinner dressed like that.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 5: At that point, my husband said, that it didn't matter
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 5: what Laura wore because she looks good no matter what.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 5: He's never said that about me before. He's never said
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 5: I look bad or anything, but he only ever compliments
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 5: my appearance when I dress nicely. This really pissed me off,
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 5: since he was again defending her against me. I asked
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 5: him if he thought she was prettier than me, and
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 5: he tried to deny it at first. I reminded him
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 5: what he just said about her looking good no matter what,
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 5: and how he's always saying how much he admires her
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 5: and thinks she's a great person. He finally admitted that
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 5: he does think she's really pretty. Prettier than OP? You
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 5: could say, yeah, pretty, your mom's pretty, she's pretty, but
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 5: is she prettier than OP?
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 2: And the answer is no. Always no. You were the
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: prettiest person ever.
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 5: Then he tried to backpedal and claimed that while he
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 5: thinks she's attractive, he isn't attracted to her. I blew
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 5: up at him and said some things I regret. I
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 5: made him sleep in the guest room that night, and
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 5: he's still sleeping in there. When I tried to discuss
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 5: things with him, he said he didn't want to talk
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 5: about it. I can't believe this whole mess happened because
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 5: he got mad about a joke I made on someone
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 5: else's behalf, especially since it's my sister's.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't get in the middle of sister stuff.
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 5: Sister, sister. It sounds so stupid that I don't want
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 5: to talk to my family or friends about this situation,
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 5: but I also don't like how much of a rift
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 5: it seems to have caused between us. Am I wrong
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 5: for getting mad over what he said about my sister?
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 5: And we have an update two days later. I think
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 5: we opened up a can of worms, or at least
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 5: he did.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 7: Yeah, he kind of dug himself his own grave here.
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Opie, you went back to the drawing board and went, Huh,
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 5: he only has nice things to say about my sister.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 5: and always takes her side. Oh.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 2: It's like you said, if you like her so much,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: why don't you marry her? And he went... Wait, wait, wait, wait, yeah.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 5: He's like, oh, wait, wait, wait.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: I'm married to you.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: Literally like, oh, wait, no, I have the better, prettier sister.
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 5: Update two days later. After reading through the comments... I
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 5: decided to apologize to my sister for the joke I
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 5: made and talk to her about some of the things
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 5: that have been bothering me. She told me I didn't
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 5: need to apologize. Again, it sounded like very sibling banter
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 5: to me. Even friendly banter.
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say friends would do this.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if I'm with my friends, they'd be like, you
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 5: want to wear a suit next time? Just jokingly, sarcastically.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 7: Literally on my sister's birthday, she bought this new outfit and.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 2: It was this huge... puffy.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 7: Flowy thing and we were on the beach and it
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 7: was just waving everywhere and it just like it made
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 7: her look like huge because it like puffed out and
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 7: I said why do you look like a cotton ball
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 7: and then she was like on my birthday and like
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 7: that was it.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 5: And you go like honestly any day of the week
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 5: any day of.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 7: The year yeah and she and all of her friends
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 7: were there and all of her and she told all
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 7: of her friends she's like wow like okay but she
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 7: but she thought it was funny obviously she's not gonna
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 7: get take it seriously.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 5: LP continues saying My sister told me I didn't need
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 5: to apologize and swore she wasn't offended. But when I
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 5: explained that I had some resentment built up and the
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 5: joke was passive-aggressive, we talked for a while about the situation.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 5: She apologized for taking me for granted sometimes and assuming
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 5: I'd do things without asking. She told me she's very
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 5: appreciative of all the help I've given her with my
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 5: niece and my nephews. We decided that we'd talk every
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 5: Saturday to go over any childcare or other things that
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 5: she might need me to do for the upcoming week
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 5: so there's no more avoidable surprises for me. Overall, I
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 5: feel good about the way things worked out with her.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 5: We also agree that any days I want a break,
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 5: we'll schedule them in so she has time to find
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 5: alternative childcare. I think that will make it feel less
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 5: overwhelming for me. Even if I don't take a day off,
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 5: knowing I could take off without leaving her in the
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 5: lurch makes me feel better about saying no every now
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 5: and then. Now, The situation with my husband was a
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 5: little less positive, so negative. When he finally agreed to talk,
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 5: he admitted he's attracted to my sister.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, that is it for me. I'm sorry,
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 2: but that's, like, I don't like that.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 5: But he swore that he's not in love with her.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 5: That's good. That's a great, great thing to say.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 2: No. He's been showing it since day one, though. Like,
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 2: that's the thing, and you've just.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 7: You've always noticed it, but you've never said anything. And
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 7: this is the one time you're saying something. And he's like, yeah,
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 7: I do. I do like her.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 5: It's like if we're just like being honest with each
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 5: other now. Yeah, dude, not not good. He said he
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 5: has a limerence for her. He admires her a lot
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 5: and thinks about her all the time. This guy's not
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 5: helping his case.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 2: Buddy, that's a crush.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 5: Where's the shovel? He's digging, but he doesn't want to
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 5: be with her.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: You mean you can't be with her because you're married.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 5: To me.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, to her sister.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 5: He said that, realistically, he knows they don't have much
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 5: in common and wouldn't work as a couple. but he
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 5: can't stop thinking about her.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: Oh my god dude.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 5: You really don't know how to speak and use your
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 5: words now do you.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 7: That you were just i mean you've done you have
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 7: you have dug six graves now you gotta you get
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 7: the all right can you breathe are you all right Like,
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 7: get your head above the water.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but it wouldn't work. For me, at least,
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 2: I'm not going through that.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 5: I'm going to keep bringing it up. I will keep
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 5: bringing it up. Oh, so you think she's better than me.
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 2: And it's the whole time.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 5: You attracted her. Oh, okay. But at least you're not
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 5: in love with her, right? You always take her side.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 5: I don't know. This is heading towards a bad, bad place.
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 5: Or a good place. Divorce.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 2: I don't like it. I would be done.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 7: I'd be like, okay, well, just stay away from me
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 7: and my family because this isn't going to work.
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 2: Because that would be now all that I think about.
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: That would consume my mind.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: I'm not doing that.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 5: Opie finishes up with, I wasn't really sure how to
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 5: respond to that. He swears he's never tried to make
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 5: a move on her and never would. I'm pretty sure
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 5: my sister would have told me if he had. So,
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 5: I believe him in that part. I told him we
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 5: really needed to see a marriage counselor and... He tentatively agreed.
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 5: But when I told him he really needed to see
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 5: a therapist about his limerence, he said individual therapy would
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 5: be a waste of time for him.
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: Mmm, right.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 5: Sounds like he's a waste of time for you, OP.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 5: So, we got an appointment with a marriage counselor in June. So,
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 5: I guess we'll see how that goes. I'll probably have
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 5: a lot of people saying I'm just being jealous again.
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 5: But I'm not sure if I can deal with staying
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 5: married to someone who is constantly thinking about another woman.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 5: Let alone... My sister. If he can help get to
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 5: control those thoughts or make them stop, it would go
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 5: a long way to saving our relationship. I don't know
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 5: how that'll happen if he doesn't see a therapist for it,
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 5: but I'm hoping maybe once we start with marriage counselor
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 5: or marriage counseling, he'll see the benefits of individual therapy too.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 5: That's the end of that story.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 6: Yikes.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 5: Nope.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: I'd be done.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 5: I couldn't stop thinking about it.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 5: If.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 7: the person that I have been with and married to
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 7: and like everything else under the sun, like if I've
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 7: done everything with them and then they just drop this
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 7: bomb of just like, I actually like your sister, I
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 7: would be crushed beyond repair.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 2: And I wouldn't.
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 7: Even, the thing is, I don't know how you are OP.
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 7: I know marriage counseling would do nothing for me. I mean,
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 7: maybe I would like try it, but I just know,
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 7: me being me, I'd be like, there is no way
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 7: coming back from this.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 5: It's the last line of defense to just try, but boy,
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 5: oh boy.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 2: I mean, it would be uncomfortable going to family events
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: or going to all.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 5: Of that just seeing that.
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 2: It's not your sister's fault at all.
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 5: I would be thinking about every time he defended her
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 5: or said something like a comment about her. I'd be like, oh, oh, oh.
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 7: The fact that he said, I think about her all
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 7: the time. Like, that is waving the red flag in
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 7: front of your face for... for the rest of your life.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 7: That's all I see, truthfully.
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 5: Well, best of luck, OP. I hope it works out
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 5: for you, but we're climbing uphill right now. We'll see. So,
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 5: good luck. That is the end of the story and
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 5: the end of this episode.