Latest / Cultural Wars | America Out Loud News / How constant complaining can harm your brain in serious ways

Transcript

How constant complaining can harm your brain in serious ways · Cultural Wars | America Out Loud News

• 0:24
  Well, the history class we are going to have today is not going to make some people happy.
• 0:30
  As a matter of fact, it's gonna make them downright angry.
• 0:34
  I mean, today's an anniversary, it's an anniversary that I feel compelled to dive into right here at the onset.
• 0:42
  A la history class, and I can tell you right now, the Marxists among us, the socialists among us, they are not going to be happy with this history class.
• 0:53
  Because today's the day, my friends, in 1864, that Congress authorized something, and it's something that these people despise, they despise that it's it's foundational to our country.
• 1:11
  Now, again, it didn't happen till 1864, almost a hundred years later, really, then you know, from the declaration, you know, 90 90, do quick math, Dean.
• 1:23
  I don't know, 92 years later.
• 1:25
  I don't know, I don't know.
• 1:26
  The 80, I don't know.
• 1:27
  The 88, I don't know.
• 1:29
  You know, you can do the math.
• 1:31
  1864 from 1776.
• 1:36
  That's, I mean, I don't know.
• 1:39
  But Congress did something here in 1864.
• 1:43
  And what they did is beautiful, it really truly is, and it speaks to what we stand for as a country.
• 1:54
  It it speaks to where our loyalties lie as a country, and uh almost it reaffirms what the declaration already prescribed for us.
• 2:11
  Yesterday we were talking about patriotism, as a matter of fact, and I read for you the closing lines of the Declaration of Independence.
• 2:23
  I will read them for you again, and for support of this declaration, Jefferson said, with a firm reliance on divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.
• 2:39
  They pledge this to one another with a firm reliance on divine providence, a firm reliance.
• 2:50
  So it is foundational.
• 2:52
  And Congress didn't really codify it until you know, however many years later, 1864.
• 3:00
  You can look on any U.S.
• 3:02
  coin, you can look on any paper currency, and you will find it.
• 3:09
  You will find America's national motto, and it's what Jefferson referred to, a firm reliance on providence.
• 3:19
  The national motto is in God we trust, and it was on this day, April 22nd, 1864, that Congress said it's going on every coin.
• 3:30
  We're gonna mint it.
• 3:33
  The suggestion to recognize God on U.S.
• 3:36
  money initially came during the Civil War from a Pennsylvania minister by the name of M.
• 3:44
  R.
• 3:44
  Watkinson.
• 3:46
  He said, From my heart, I have felt our national shame and disowning God is not the least of our present national disasters.
• 3:57
  Watkinson wrote to Salman P.
• 4:00
  Chase, Abraham Lincoln's secretary of the treasury.
• 4:05
  And it is true, we we had disowned God, and the fact that we were we were promoting something that he never promoted slavery.
• 4:17
  It is a it's an anti-Christian objective.
• 4:22
  It is antithetical to everything biblical, and Watkinson nailed it here when he said that he's felt the national shame in disowning God.
• 4:36
  That's not the least of our present national distresses.
• 5:01
  That's what he wrote.
• 5:02
  That's what he believed in.
• 5:03
  This is a government official, by the way, the secretary of the treasury, telling the national mint that they need to create a model recognizing no nation can be strong except in the strength of God.
• 5:18
  Oh, the Marxists are not happy today.
• 5:21
  Those on the extreme left, and maybe even those just to left of center, at least in leadership, they're not happy about this.
• 6:05
  When our cause is just and this be our motto in God we trust.
• 6:13
  That was during the war of 1812.
• 6:15
  Francis Scott Key said, Look, our motto needs to be in God We Trust, because Jefferson said that with a firm reliance on Providence, we're gonna pledge something to one another.
• 6:32
  His Treasury secretary concurred, and on April 22nd, 1864, Congress concurred, passing legislation authorizing use of the phrase in God we trust, and it first appeared on two cent coins issued that same year.
• 6:52
  Oh, the Marxists, oh, they're not happy.
• 6:55
  They are just and they're not only are they not happy about this, but they're not happy that I'm talking about it.
• 7:00
  But they're not happy that I'm talking about it.
• 7:02
  They're not happening.
• 7:02
  They're not happening, they're not not happening, they're not happy that I'm reminding you about it, that we are we are celebrating it here in a history class.
• 7:03
  They're not not happening.
• 7:04
  They're not happy that I'm reminding you about it, that we are we are celebrating it here in a history class.
• 7:11
  Do you think that we can talk about this in a public school history class?
• 7:11
  Do you think that we can talk about this in a public school history class?
• 7:15
  Do you think that a history teacher would be in the wrong?
• 7:15
  Do you think that a history teacher would be in the wrong, that a history teacher in a public school class would be sued because history teacher is bringing up this historical fact that.
• 7:18
  That a history teacher in a public school class would be sued because history teacher is bringing up this historical fact, that once upon a time, we had leaders who believed that as a nation, as a people, not only should we trust in God, but we should promote that statement, that we should promote that fact, that we should declare it, even to the extent that it's on our money, on our money.
• 7:51
  For many years, afterwards, after Congress codifying this beautiful motto, uh, the slogan appeared on on some coins, but it didn't appear on others.
• 8:03
  And in 1955, Congress ordered it placed on all U.S.
• 8:08
  currency.
• 8:10
  And in 1956, Congress made in God We Trust the official national model.
• 8:17
  The phrase continues to remind us that our country has long found strength through faith in God, and that it is He who has bestowed many blessings on America, including our freedom.
• 8:32
  And as I described to you yesterday, it was our good friend John Hancock who refused who refused, who referred to those many blessings as inestimable, impossible to estimate or impossible to calculate these blessings of God, these blessings that He's given us.
• 8:55
  There's no way we can calculate them.
• 8:58
  And he said that the best way that we can express the gratitude of our hearts because of these blessings is by the greatest exertions of patriotism.
• 9:09
  In order for us to express ourselves in terms of gratitude, we should be patriots by all means.
• 9:19
  Be patriots.
• 9:20
  Show your love for your country.
• 9:22
  Show love for one another.
• 9:26
  But instead, I can tell you what's happening right now in certain circles.
• 9:31
  The socialists among us.
• 9:34
  You think you think mom Donnie wants us talking about this?
• 9:37
  Do you think mom Donnie wants us talking about in God We Trust?
• 9:43
  And that the fact that it's our national motto, the fact that it's on our money.
• 9:47
  Do you think he wants us?
• 9:49
  No, no, he would, he would rather, he would rather complain about it.
• 9:53
  And he would rather that our education system led by the socialists and the teachers' unions, that they would complain about it.
• 10:04
  That they would teach our children to complain about it.
• 10:07
  Complain, complain, complain.
• 10:10
  That's what they did in 1960.
• 10:12
  They complained and they complained morality right out of the public school classroom.
• 10:16
  They complained prayer right out of the public school classroom.
• 10:20
  They complained the Bible right out of the public school classroom.
• 10:24
  And they are complaining that there are certain states that want to bring these things back.
• 10:29
  Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas, they Oklahoma, they want to bring the Bible back.
• 10:35
  They want to bring uh a la coach Kennedy.
• 10:39
  They want to bring prayer back.
• 10:41
  And the those on the left, those on the well, the Marxists among us, they are not happy about this.
• 10:51
  And they're going to continue complaining.
• 10:53
  But you know what complaining does?
• 10:57
  The act of complaining, let me tell you this right now.
• 11:00
  The act of complaining is not harmless.
• 11:04
  It's not harmless to those in the sphere of the complainer, nor is it harmless to the complainer himself or herself.
• 11:13
  It's not harmless to their brain.
• 11:16
  I've got, I've got some interesting studies and some research regarding the science of complaining and how it harms your brain.
• 11:26
  Did you know?
• 11:27
  Were you fully aware that complaining can harm your brain?
• 11:32
  So the next time you're, I don't know, you're watching cable news, which uh I have not watched cable news.
• 11:38
  I gotta tell you in probably six years, 2020.
• 11:44
  That was that was the last of it.
• 11:46
  2020, I was done.
• 11:48
  I shut off Fox News, and I said, never again.
• 11:52
  And I canceled my subscription, and I've been true to it.
• 11:56
  Never again.
• 11:57
  I mean, I'll listen to, I won't listen to them, but you know, I get clips, people send me clips, and so on occasion, I'll even I'll even play some some clips for you.
• 12:07
  Not for your listening enjoyment, but just you know, just stay informed.
• 12:11
  But I shut her down.
• 12:12
  I said, We're not doing it anymore.
• 12:15
  Uh and I don't know, and maybe you haven't, maybe you still watch andor listen to cable news.
• 12:21
  The next time you you hear some raving lunaticish individual ranting and complaining, then please know there is there is some harm being done to that person, the person doing the speaking.
• 12:36
  Yes, we all know that there's harm happening to those in the vicinity of listening, but the person doing the speaking, the harm that is coming to that individual's brain.
• 12:47
  Well, that my friends, that is uh I don't know that that we saw this coming.
• 12:55
  Habitual complaining subtly changes the way we perceive the world.
• 13:02
  I want you to listen to this.
• 13:03
  I want you to listen to this study.
• 13:05
  Tension builds, irritability rises, the mood dips, and even minor problems can start to feel overwhelming, all because of complaining.
• 13:20
  People caught in this cycle often experience anger, anxiety, and a persistent focus on what's wrong.
• 13:29
  And when that when we are persistently focusing on what is wrong and what is negative, not good, not good at all.
• 13:38
  People um uh people uh psychologists, the the those in the in this in this world, though the those in the know here refer to this pattern as rumination.
• 13:52
  It's what they call it, they call it rumination.
• 13:54
  You're ruminating the repeated dwelling on on a negative experience, the the rumination of the negative.
• 14:00
  Of the negative.
• 14:02
  Rumination, they say, and habitual complaining, they say, reinforce each other.
• 14:02
  Rumination, they say, and habitual complaining, they say, reinforce each other.
• 14:08
  Hand in a glove.
• 14:08
  Hand in a glove.
• 14:09
  It's it's two peas in a pot.
• 14:09
  It's two peas in a pot.
• 14:12
  Uh they're locking attention on problems and amplifying negativity.
• 14:12
  Uh the they're locking attention on problems and amplifying negativity more than a feeling.
• 14:18
  More than a feeling.
• 14:21
  Research has found that repeatedly focusing on negative experiences strengthens neural pathways.
• 14:21
  Research has found that repeatedly focusing on negative experiences strengthens neural pathways, making it harder to regulate emotions and respond constructively.
• 14:35
  Are you are you listening to this?
• 14:38
  Which makes perfect sense when you see the clips of the angry ones out in the streets, just screaming their heads off.
• 14:48
  They're unable to regulate their emotions.
• 14:52
  They're unable to respond constructively because of this constant uh negativity.
• 15:01
  What the complaining has done to their neural pathways.
• 15:05
  This this repeated again, I'm going to say this again.
• 15:08
  This repeated focus on negative experiences strengthens.
• 15:12
  This is what the research is telling us.
• 15:14
  It strengthens the neural pathways, making it harder to break away from them, making it harder to regulate emotions and respond constructively.
• 15:27
  This uh this study, these studies, the research that I'm gonna share with you today is uh it's eye-opening, it's mind-boggling, it's uh uh you know, uh I'll I guess I want to say it this way.
• 15:43
  I love I love the research.
• 15:47
  I just do and and the and the brain research is fascinating to me.
• 15:52
  And this right here just falls into my wheelhouse.
• 15:57
  The the wheelhouse of brain research and why people get caught up in these in these loops.
• 16:04
  You know, I've often wondered why can't why can't certain people just sit down and have have a rational conversation?
• 16:11
  Why can't they just rationally sit down with you and and and dialectically pursue the truth of a thing?
• 16:19
  And this research right here is uh it's about to uncover some truth and maybe just maybe express to us why, why this type of thing cannot happen.
• 16:31
  All right, before we get into it on the other side of this break, I want to remind you that this summer, my friends, we are celebrating uh a birthday party like no one else is celebrating.
• 16:42
  250 years of American independence in Nashville, Tennessee, July 2nd, July 3rd, July 4th, and you are invited.
• 16:51
  We would love to see you there.
• 16:54
  Go to America Outloud.news slash Nashville, get yourself registered, use code Dean for 25% off, by the way.
• 17:03
  When you buy your ticket, you're automatically entered into a free giveaway, a two-night hotel stay while you're there over that weekend, July 2nd, 3rd, and 4th, two nights for free.
• 17:15
  It's a drawing.
• 17:16
  Your name could very well be drawn.
• 17:18
  So not only will you get 25% off of your registration using code Dean, but you could get your hotel stay for free.
• 17:26
  And the hotel is glorious, by the way.
• 17:28
  The Sheraton down there, downtown Nashville is beautiful.
• 17:32
  The event is going to be fantastic.
• 17:35
  It's a once-in-a-lifetime event.
• 17:37
  Bring your entire family and just celebrate American independence with like-minded patriots, like-minded Americans.
• 17:48
  You're gonna have a blast.
• 17:49
  All right, we're gonna dive into this research on the other side of this break.
• 17:53
  You're listening to the Dean's List on America Out Loud Talk Radio.
• 17:58
  Hey, we're calling all patriots to Nashville, Tennessee, July 2nd, 3rd, and 4th for a powerful celebration of faith, freedom, and the American spirit.
• 18:09
  America Out Loud, the Wellness Company and Clear.
• 18:12
  Invite you to join us for the 25010 Nashville event.
• 18:17
  You'll experience best in class speakers, extraordinary voices from across America, bringing inspiring messages you won't forget.
• 18:25
  And on July 4th, get ready for the most spectacular bite work show in the country.
• 18:31
  Lighten up the Nashville sky.
• 18:33
  250 years of liberty in America and 10 years of America Out Loud News.
• 18:39
  Standing strong for truth, justice, and the nation we all love.
• 18:44
  You can save now with Early Bird Price at AmericaOut Loud dot news.
• 18:49
  Forward slash Nashville, July 2nd, 3rd, and 4th.
• 18:53
  America Outloud News.
• 18:55
  25010 Nashville.
• 18:58
  Virus protection and immune boosting just got easier.
• 19:00
  Enter the Daily V Stack.
• 19:02
  Using cellular absorption technology, we put vitamins A, C, D, Zinc, and Quircetin together with a multi-mineral complex for complete protection.
• 19:13
  The Daily VStack is basically an oral IV of six products all in one at an affordable price.
• 19:19
  Go to ChemicalFreeBody.com forward slash out loud.
• 19:23
  Get the Daily V Stack, protect yourself, boost your immune system, and save 20% on your first order.
• 19:30
  One in three people will face cancer, and most never see it coming.
• 19:33
  I'm Dr.
• 19:33
  Kelly Victory with the wellness company, and I know this personally.
• 19:48
  That's why I formulated SHILD, a two-part system designed to support immune health and antioxidant defense.
• 19:55
  A chemical-free cocoa mix and soft gels.
• 19:58
  Prevention is power.
• 19:59
  Visit TWC.health slash out loud and use code Out Loud for an exclusive discount.
• 20:06
  Have you been looking for a healthy snack for on the go?
• 20:10
  Well, not all energy bars are soft and sugary.
• 20:13
  Bear bars are a crunchy, say rebar made from just six simple natural ingredients.
• 20:20
  Bear bars or plant-based, organic gluten-free, contain six grams of protein and are low temperature dried for unique crunch.
• 20:29
  Most energy bars are based on chocolate or fruit and are held together with syrups or sweeteners.
• 20:36
  To learn more, just visit barebar.com slash out loud.
• 21:00
  Of every reoccurring order.
• 21:01
  Every month when that whatever your favorite product is, when it went every month when the spike protein comes in, or the I'm sorry, it's not called spike protein.
• 21:01
  Every month, when that whatever your favorite product is, when every month when the spike protein comes in, or the I'm sorry, it's not called spike protein, spike detox or something.
• 21:10
  Spike detox or something.
• 21:12
  You think I'd know because I use it.
• 21:12
  You think I'd know because I use it.
• 21:14
  I love this stuff.
• 21:14
  I love this stuff.
• 21:15
  When your healthy heart comes in, or or maybe you've subscribed to the to the healthy meats.
• 21:15
  When your healthy heart comes in, or or maybe you've subscribed to the to the healthy meats.
• 21:21
  I don't know, your favorite wellness company product.
• 21:21
  I don't know, your favorite wellness company product.
• 21:23
  Whenever it rolls in every month, you're getting 20% off when you use code AOL, and it's only here.
• 21:23
  Whenever it rolls in every month, you're getting 20% off when you use code AOL, and it's only here, only at America Out Loud, only at the shop.
• 21:34
  Go to AmericaOut Loud.shop, use coupon code AOL, and keep the wellness company goodness coming.
• 21:43
  All right, my friends.
• 21:45
  Let's uh let's dive into the research here.
• 21:48
  Let's let's have some, let's have some fun on why complaining is not harmless, not only to those listening, but also to the person doing the complaining.
• 22:02
  A study published in the journal of personality and social psychology found that participants who ruminated.
• 22:10
  Now, again, we we we defined rumination.
• 22:14
  It's this habitual uh complaining, all right.
• 22:17
  It's just the um the repeated dwelling on negative experiences, okay.
• 22:23
  That that's that's rumination.
• 22:27
  People who ruminated on anger-inducing events experienced stronger and longer lasting anger, more negative thoughts, and heightened stress response.
• 22:40
  Now, think about these anger-inducing events.
• 22:44
  How many people do you think were angry when Donald Trump was elected in 2024?
• 22:53
  I mean, there was a there was a handful of them.
• 22:55
  I don't believe it when people say we're divided, and 50% of the country went one way and 50% went the other.
• 23:03
  I don't necessarily buy that, especially with the uh voting uh irregularities, as it were, but there was a uh a group of people who did not vote for him and who were angry when he won.
• 23:21
  How many of them do you think ruminated on that anger-inducing events uh event?
• 23:27
  Those that did experienced, according to this study, stronger and longer lasting anger, more negative thoughts and heightened stress responses, compared and contrast to participants in this study who used reappraisal or reinterpreting the situation more neutrally, they were better able to regulate their emotions.
• 23:57
  Uh, which side of the fence are you on?
• 23:59
  I can tell you when Trump lost in 2020, when Joseph Robinette and the Democrat machine cheated in 2020.
• 24:09
  Uh, I was pretty angry.
• 24:11
  I mean, I was upset about it, but there was no ruminating.
• 24:14
  Uh, there was uh a reinterpretation of the situation more more neutrally, uh, and therefore I was better able to regulate my emotions.
• 24:24
  I wasn't out in the front yard screaming, I didn't drop to my knees and and holler at the moon.
• 24:30
  Uh yeah, I was upset, but you know, you just you try to reframe and you say to yourself, okay, um, here's what happened.
• 24:41
  Here's why it happened.
• 24:42
  We got to go after it.
• 24:45
  Uh similarly, there was uh a research published in the Journal of Affective Disorders.
• 24:53
  This research found that repetitive negative thinking was associated with poorer emotional regulation in daily life.
• 25:04
  You're unable to emotionally regulate yourself.
• 25:08
  Oh, I cannot wait to share this with my students.
• 25:12
  I'm telling you what, the young people need to hear this.
• 25:16
  Young people, the other the other day, the other day, all right.
• 25:21
  I'm walking by a math class, the doors open, and I hear someone in there complaining profusely about math, just the same student just complaining, complaining, complaining, and and finally I couldn't take it any longer.
• 25:37
  I just stepped in the room and I said, Look, you can complain all day long, or you can just do the work, you can just do the math.
• 25:46
  You can just learn to just embrace the mathematics of it.
• 25:53
  Um and then if that were the case, maybe you know, poor emotional regulation might not be a thing.
• 26:01
  Uh, together, these two findings, the one out of the journal of personality and social psych and the journal of affective disorders, they indicate, they indicate something, and what they indicate is that habitually dwelling on a negative experience, which often includes some form of complaining, can amplify negative emotions and gradually weaken our ability to cope with stress effectively.
• 26:34
  Ah, I think young people need to hear this.
• 26:38
  I think some adults need to hear this.
• 26:41
  Research research, research shows that a repetitive focus on problems can alter the way the brain begins to process information.
• 26:56
  Oh, here it and it's about to get really good right now.
• 26:59
  Functional MRI studies demonstrate that rumination is constantly, constantly associated with increased activity and brain networks involved in self-focused thinking.
• 27:15
  You know what?
• 27:16
  This reminds me of something.
• 27:19
  All right, self-focused thinking.
• 27:21
  I'm gonna I'm gonna pause this for a minute.
• 27:23
  I'm gonna pause this research for a minute.
• 27:25
  Self-focused thinking or narcissistic thinking.
• 27:30
  The research shows that rumination is associated with an increased activity and brain networks involved in self-focused thinking.
• 27:41
  You know when those those brain networks of self-focused thinking shut off, you know, when they shut off, you know what that you know, what the MRIs tell us.
• 27:53
  I did have this conversation with my students a couple of weeks ago.
• 27:57
  They shut off during times of prayer.
• 28:00
  They shut off during times of prayer.
• 28:00
  They shut off during times of prayer.
• 28:02
  I was looking at, I don't have this research in front of me.
• 28:02
  I was looking at, I don't have this research in front of me.
• 28:05
  I think I've talked about it here actually.
• 28:05
  I think I've talked about it here actually.
• 28:08
  Now that I think about it, I think I've mentioned it here.
• 28:08
  Now that I think about it, I think I've mentioned it here.
• 28:12
  The study was done with a group of Franciscan nuns.
• 28:12
  The study was done with a group of Franciscan nuns, and they hooked them up to the electrodes while they were praying.
• 28:17
  And they hooked them up to the electrodes.
• 28:23
  While they were praying, the area of their brain that fired the most was the prefrontal cortex, that that area, the seat of the emotion and the reasoning.
• 28:25
  The area of their brain that fired the most was the prefrontal cortex.
• 28:29
  That that.
• 28:33
  The area that did not fire up and actually almost shut down were these networks that were that involved self-focused thinking.
• 28:41
  When we pray, the narcissistic tendencies are driven out of us, or at least driven out of our mind, driven out of our thinking, those portions of our brain are shut down.
• 28:56
  But when we ruminate, when we complain, which maybe could be the opposite of prayer, could we could we say ruminating is the opposite?
• 29:05
  I mean, I don't know definitionally if that's a thing.
• 29:09
  I don't know if theologians would come in and say that's a thing, but it kind of feels like it could be a thing.
• 29:15
  That the opposite of prayer would be to ruminate.
• 29:19
  And ruminating, according to the functional MRI studies, constant.
• 29:25
  If we when we ruminate consistently, it's associated with uh activity and brain networks involved in self-focused thinking, an increase in activity.
• 29:36
  Ah, I just I don't know.
• 29:37
  I that just that's interesting.
• 29:41
  Further, what's what's increased in in people that ruminate consistently uh is the this negative effect defined as persistent unpleasant emotional states?
• 29:55
  All right, an example of this of a consistent unpleasant emotional state would be sadness or anxiety or irritability.
• 30:05
  These things um uh are what we refer to as this unpleasant emotional state, and people that that ruminate uh have a persistent unpleasant emotional uh state occurring with them, within them.
• 30:27
  Additionally, uh there's this pleasant, unpleasant, persistent emotional memory, which governs the recall of emotionally charged experiences.
• 30:39
  So when we when we ruminate, when we complain, what comes up negatively, or I'm sorry, negative emotionally charged experiences, come into our memory.
• 30:53
  We start thinking about things.
• 30:55
  Yeah, when he did this, yeah, and then and then he did that.
• 30:59
  And yeah, then he said the other thing.
• 31:04
  You think this is why Jesus said that we should forgive, that we should forgive often.
• 31:12
  And when the disciple said, How often should I forgive?
• 31:15
  He's you know, he dropped out some some number 70 times seven.
• 31:20
  Um you know, which is to say a lot of people just you know believe it's to say it he didn't mean a particular number.
• 31:28
  He was just saying, just forgive.
• 31:31
  Just forgive.
• 31:32
  Let that be your modus operandi, that that's what you're gonna do.
• 31:36
  You're going to forgive.
• 31:37
  You're not going to ruminate, you're going to forgive.
• 31:41
  And then when you pray to your heavenly father, you now have the green light to ask for forgiveness for yourself because you have forgiven those who have wronged you, those who have done you wrong.
• 31:55
  And you know what?
• 31:56
  Here's the thing.
• 31:57
  All of us, we have been wronged, and we have been the ones doing the wrong.
• 32:04
  Every single one of us.
• 32:06
  If you're a human, guess what?
• 32:07
  You have fallen on both sides of that coin.
• 32:10
  You have owned both sides of the coin, two sides, the same coin.
• 32:16
  So why not forgive?
• 32:18
  Why not offer forgiveness?
• 32:21
  And then when the time comes, you will have every right, every green light to ask for forgiveness for yourself.
• 32:33
  Do you think we could talk about this though in a public school?
• 32:36
  No, no, you can't.
• 32:38
  You can't, because you know, you'd be preaching Jesus.
• 32:43
  Now, if it were, you know, Muhammad, maybe or Buddha, I mean, that'd be fine.
• 32:47
  Can Confucius, maybe?
• 32:49
  I mean, that that'd be fine.
• 32:52
  But not Jesus.
• 32:53
  You can't bring him up.
• 32:54
  You can't bring up the fact that he said, forgive and forgive often.
• 32:58
  I heard this story once where this there was this old couple, they had been married for years, and somebody asked the wife one day, a young person, a young mom.
• 33:13
  She said, What's the secret?
• 33:15
  You guys have been married for 50 years.
• 33:18
  Tell me your secret.
• 33:19
  She said, Well, there is a secret.
• 33:23
  And the secret is uh I had a list, and um, it was a list that if if Bob did this thing, then I was gonna forgive him.
• 33:36
  And um, and I just I had a list, and I forgave, and I forgave him.
• 33:45
  And the young mom said, Well, what if he did something that that wasn't on your list?
• 33:51
  And she said, Well, you know, I actually never got around to to making the list.
• 33:57
  And so every time he'd do something that just rubbed me wrong, I'd say, Well, it's a good thing for Bob, that's on my list, and I forgive him.
• 34:06
  The good thing for Bob, that's on my list.
• 34:09
  Everything was on our list.
• 34:12
  Everything was on her list.
• 34:16
  And she forgave and she forgave, and she forgave.
• 34:20
  Now, I'm not here to get into, oh, what if what a Bob came home and beat her every, you know, that's at some point you got to get up and walk away.
• 34:28
  But even in doing so, and even removing yourself out of danger, forgiveness, my friends, forgiveness is the answer, forgiveness is the key here.
• 34:39
  Uh instead of ruminating and um having this emotional memory pop up, you know, where we're what's being governed is the recall of emotionally charged experiences.
• 34:55
  That's what's happening through rumination.
• 34:59
  Uh, these types of networks in our brain, uh, they include key regions, such as the uh the insula, the insula integrates emotional and bodily awareness, uh, the anterior cingulate cortex.
• 35:00
  Uh, these types of networks in our brain.
• 35:03
  Uh, they include key regions, such as the uh the insula, the insula integrates emotional and bodily awareness, uh, the anterior cingulate cortex.
• 35:18
  This this region plays a central role in emotional regulation and stress monitoring.
• 35:18
  This this region plays a central role in emotional regulation and stress monitoring.
• 35:24
  This is all in the research here.
• 35:24
  This is all in the research here.
• 35:26
  It's all in the the functional MRI studies.
• 35:26
  It's all in the functional MRI studies.
• 35:29
  In addition.
• 35:29
  In addition to altering brain networks, which rumination does, it can prolong the body's stress response, keeping cortisol levels elevated for longer periods of time, and increasing inflammatory markers.
• 35:46
  What's that doing to your immune system?
• 35:48
  Nothing good.
• 35:49
  I can tell you that right now, nothing good over time.
• 35:52
  This heightened stress response may disrupt critical regions of the brain, such as the prefrontal cortex, which by the way was what was lit up during prayer, the prefrontal cortex, lit up.
• 36:05
  And uh now this critical region of the brain uh could be disrupted because of the heightened stress response brought on by ruminating.
• 36:16
  Uh the prefrontal cortex supports decision making, it supports self-control.
• 36:23
  It's a very important part of the brain.
• 36:27
  Uh, and also areas of the brain that govern fear and emotional response, the amygdala.
• 36:34
  Uh, you know, these types of, you know, these these regions of the brain are affected by the rumination.
• 36:41
  This is the research.
• 36:42
  This isn't me.
• 36:43
  I'm just, I'm just reading the research, and I'm fascinated by it.
• 36:47
  I am absolutely fascinated by the by the uh by the research here.
• 36:54
  These findings suggest that chronic complaining does not help resolve problems.
• 37:02
  Instead, instead, what it does is it trains the brain to fixate on distress and self-focused emotions, making it harder to regulate feelings, making it harder to solve problems effectively, making it harder to cope adaptively.
• 37:22
  Oh, I just I'm telling you what.
• 37:26
  This is eye-opening.
• 37:27
  And I I think of particular people, and I'm like, now I know what's going on.
• 37:31
  I get it now.
• 37:33
  I absolutely get, I understand, I understand what's happening here.
• 37:36
  All right, I've got my eye on the clock.
• 37:38
  We're gonna pause here for a minute.
• 37:40
  There's more research, more eye-opening, more mind-blowing research to come on the other side of this break.
• 37:46
  I'm Doug Evans, author of the Sprout Book.
• 37:48
  And I've devoted my life to helping people reconnect with food at its most alive stage, the sprout.
• 37:56
  When you germinate a seed, you're not just growing food, you're activating potential.
• 38:02
  Sprouts grow without soil, sunshine, or fertilizer right on your kitchen countertop.
• 38:08
  They're organic, fresh, and cost less than a dollar a serving.
• 38:12
  It's nature's fastest form of farming, accessible to anyone, anywhere.
• 38:17
  Discover the joy of growing your own food and the power of living nutrition.
• 38:22
  Visit the sprouting company.com and use the code out loud for an exclusive offer.
• 38:28
  I cannot tell a lie.
• 38:29
  My sinuses are blocked.
• 38:31
  George, you crossed the Delaware.
• 38:34
  You can cross congestion.
• 38:36
  Here, try clear.
• 38:40
  Freedom smells like victory.
• 38:42
  Come celebrate 250 years of American independence, but the America Out Loud.
• 38:55
  Go to America 250 Nashville.com.
• 38:59
  Use code XLEAR for 20% off admission.
• 39:03
  Clear.
• 39:04
  Breathe in the independence.
• 39:13
  As I said, coming out of that going into that last break.
• 39:20
  These research findings suggest something really unique here that chronic complaining does not help resolve anything.
• 39:31
  It doesn't help resolve problems.
• 39:33
  It doesn't help to resolve emotional stress.
• 39:38
  Instead, what it does is train the brain to fixate on the distress and self-focused emotions.
• 39:50
  It just makes it harder to regulate feelings.
• 39:53
  It makes it harder to solve problems.
• 39:55
  It makes it harder to effectively and cope adaptively.
• 40:02
  Research on attention and negative thinking further supports this pattern.
• 40:08
  One study found that when people were prompted to worry or to ruminate, they spent less time attending to positive images and maintained their focus on negative ones instead.
• 40:22
  And you know the adage, you get what you focus on.
• 40:26
  Rumination then is not merely overthinking.
• 40:30
  It biases our attention, drawing focus toward negative information while pulling attention away from positive experiences.
• 40:42
  In addition, post-event rumination, you know, if you know something happens and we just ruminate on it and ruminate on it and ruminate on it.
• 40:51
  This repetitive negative thinking about one's performance following some type of social interaction.
• 40:59
  This has been closely linked to increased social anxiety and greater distress related to those events.
• 41:08
  What do you think about that?
• 41:11
  Emerging evidence also suggests that the consequences of persistent negative thinking may extend into long-term brain health.
• 41:22
  Studies indicate that repetitive negative thinking is associated with increased what this article refers to as amyloid and tau protein deposition.
• 41:36
  What in the world is that all about?
• 41:39
  This points to a potentially modifiable risk factor for Alzheimer's disease.
• 41:45
  Bump bum bum.
• 41:47
  Didn't see that one coming.
• 41:49
  Did not see that one coming.
• 41:52
  Related analysis show that higher levels of chronic negative thinking are linked to more rapid declines in global cognition and memory.
• 42:00
  Cognition and memory, and may even impair impulse control.
• 42:03
  And may even impair impulse control.
• 42:08
  Did you ever think that your memory could be affected, affected by the way you think about a thing?
• 42:08
  Did you ever think that your memory could be affected, affected by the way you think about a thing, negative or positive?
• 42:18
  Negative or positive.
• 42:20
  The effects of habitual complaining extend beyond the brain itself, however.
• 42:20
  The effects of habitual complaining extend beyond the brain itself, however.
• 42:25
  They ripple into social and professional life, contributing to strained relationships, reduced perceived social support, and diminished empathy from others.
• 42:25
  They ripple into social and professional life, contributing to strength.
• 42:37
  You've probably felt this from time to time.
• 42:41
  You know, if you are the one complaining in a relationship, it doesn't matter what it's about.
• 42:46
  The other party is like, man, when is this complaining going to stop?
• 42:50
  Or if the other party is the one doing the complaining, you know you have felt that.
• 42:54
  Man, when is this?
• 42:55
  I can't take any more complaining.
• 42:58
  It puts a strain on things.
• 43:01
  A persistently negative focus can also impair cognitive flexibility, making creative problem solving and adaptability more difficult.
• 43:12
  In this way, habitual complaining affects not only mental health, but everyday functioning and interpersonal interactions.
• 43:20
  Something that these studies consistently bear out.
• 43:23
  They consistently say, yes, this is this is happening here.
• 43:28
  So how do we break it?
• 43:30
  How do we how do we break the cycle?
• 43:32
  If you are a chronic complainer, and or maybe you know someone who's a Marxist and a socialist, who that's what they do.
• 43:40
  They complain about America.
• 43:41
  Here's how you maybe help them break out of the cycle.
• 43:45
  Okay, while habitual complaining takes conscious effort to change.
• 43:50
  The good news is that the brain remains adaptable.
• 43:55
  And even small, consistent strategies can help this over time.
• 44:00
  All right.
• 44:00
  Here's the first step, and probably the most important step.
• 44:04
  It's it's being aware.
• 44:07
  This involves noticing when our thoughts drift toward negativity and recognizing patterns of complaining before the complaining escalates.
• 44:18
  Awareness creates a pause.
• 44:21
  It gives us the ability to pause, allowing us to respond intentionally rather than just react automatically, just instead of going to the default mode of complaining.
• 44:33
  Once that complaint comes out of our mouth, we recognize it, and we pause for a minute.
• 44:40
  Once these patterns are recognized, acceptance and reframing then become powerful tools that we can tap into.
• 44:50
  Learning to accept situations as they are, rather than constantly resisting them.
• 44:57
  This can reduce irritation and emotional reactivity, weakening the impulse to complain.
• 45:06
  So I was having a conversation with someone just today, and they were expecting good news about a thing.
• 45:13
  And the good news didn't come.
• 45:15
  It's just more setback after a setback after setback.
• 45:19
  And they did not complain about the setback.
• 45:22
  Instead, they literally, these exact words came out of their mouth.
• 45:26
  It is what it is.
• 45:28
  Uh, and what do I have to do to um keep moving forward?
• 45:34
  No complaint, no whining, no, no screaming, no bemoaning.
• 45:42
  It was okay, this happened.
• 45:44
  It it is what it is.
• 45:46
  I can't change it.
• 45:48
  So it's not going to help me to complain about it.
• 45:50
  So, what do I do now to get beyond it?
• 45:54
  Uh cognitive re reappraisal.
• 45:57
  That's what's happening here.
• 45:59
  It's also called an uh reframing.
• 46:02
  We we take the event and we reframe it.
• 46:06
  This helps us view situations from a more neutral or even a positive perspective.
• 46:12
  It allows us to look at the glass as being half full.
• 46:17
  Viewing situations from another person's perspective, for example, if there's an argument going on, this can further disrupt habitual complaining.
• 46:29
  Uh, complaints often focus narrowly on how things affect us personally, amplifying negativity and reinforcing self-centered thinking.
• 46:38
  But if we can step out of ourselves and step into the shoes of the other person.
• 46:43
  Uh a lot of times the complaint factory gets shut down.
• 46:48
  So by intentionally considering others, what they're what they're feeling or or why they're acting in a particular way or why they did what they did, this uh allows us to reduce emotional intensity and cultivate empathy.
• 47:06
  So here are some questions we we can ask ourselves.
• 47:09
  What might be going on for them, or how might this situation look from their perspective?
• 47:14
  These questions can interrupt the urge to complain.
• 47:18
  They can diffuse tension and foster a more thoughtful, compassionate response from us.
• 47:24
  There's a novel idea.
• 47:26
  Closely related is self-distancing.
• 47:30
  And so there's some some research on self-distancing.
• 47:34
  Uh, and the studies here have found that viewing experiences as if from the perspective of an outside observer reduces emotional reactivity and disrupts rumination.
• 47:47
  Asking questions such as, how would I see this if it were happening to someone else?
• 47:53
  Or using third-person language such as one might notice.
• 47:57
  You know, you kind of remove yourself out of the situation.
• 48:02
  This can make challenges feel less personal, less emotionally charged, more manageable.
• 48:08
  Uh, and so uh more research has to has to do with mindfulness.
• 48:15
  Okay, here's another approach.
• 48:17
  By observing our thoughts without immediately engaging with them, you know, being mindful of them.
• 48:24
  This helps us break repetitive negative thinking loops.
• 48:28
  Instead of fueling complaints, we learn to notice them, let them pass, and then redirect our attention more skillfully and to be skilled in this area.
• 48:39
  Ah, now there is the thing.
• 48:41
  These these moments of irritation can also serve as opportunities for us to reflect, prompting us to explore maybe why certain things trigger strong reactions from us, what they reveal about our expectations, our values, uh, our sense of self.
• 49:00
  Our sense of self.
• 49:02
  Uh by doing this, we may uncover insights and lessons that might otherwise go unnoticed.
• 49:03
  By doing this, we may uncover insights and lessons that might otherwise go unnoticed.
• 49:09
  And it was Socrates who to who invited us to know ourselves.
• 49:09
  And it was Socrates who who invited us to know ourselves.
• 49:14
  He said the the unexamined life is not a life worth living.
• 49:14
  He said the the unexamined life is not a life worth living.
• 49:20
  Uh, and and these are these are tools here to to offer some self examination.
• 49:20
  And these are these are tools here to offer some self-examination.
• 49:25
  Finally, this article here, this piece I'm looking at, the
• 49:25
  Finally, this article here, this piece I'm looking at, the science of complaining, how it harms your brain.
• 49:33
  Finally, it suggests gratitude and how gratitude provides a powerful antidote to habitual negativity.
• 49:42
  I love this.
• 49:44
  Multiple studies show that even brief daily gratitude practices can shift attention, attention away from chronic complaint patterns by regularly focusing on what's going well.
• 49:58
  We interrupt the brain's tendency to phyxiate on what's not going well.
• 50:04
  It interrupts our our normal pattern to focus on what's missing or what's wrong.
• 50:11
  You know, why this thing went sideways.
• 50:16
  Simple practices, such as writing down three things you are grateful for at the end of the day, can gradually retrain the brain to notice the positive.
• 50:26
  Weakening this pull of drawing us to complain habitually.
• 50:33
  Gratitude, I'm telling you.
• 50:36
  Um, and it was uh I could refer back to to the Hancock quote.
• 50:41
  John Hancock, who said we we should uh have this abundance of gratitude for these um blessings that that we can't calculate.
• 50:52
  There are too many to uh to even estimate.
• 50:55
  And the and the way we express this gratitude is is through patriotism.
• 50:59
  But but he talked about expressing the gratitude.
• 51:03
  And there are things that you know, we we kind of started out here talking about about how the left, they would rather complain about America than actually find anything uh grateful about it.
• 51:18
  You know, they they'd rather complain that our national motto is in God we trust.
• 51:23
  Well, maybe we should take a minute and uh and write down things of uh about the country that we're grateful for instead of blowing our top about it.
• 51:35
  Uh certainly in regard to situations.
• 51:38
  Let's write down things that we're grateful for that's happening in this particular situation.
• 51:45
  And in the Bible, the apostle Paul says to be thankful in everything, every single thing, offer thanks.
• 51:54
  And often we think, what in the world?
• 51:57
  You can't be thankful in everything.
• 51:59
  You can't offer thanks in every single situation.
• 52:03
  Well, uh, I mean, maybe we can.
• 52:06
  Maybe there's there's something that we could we could find to be grateful for.
• 52:12
  Um and again, there are some horrible things that happen.
• 52:15
  And how how can you be grateful for this?
• 52:18
  You know, I don't want to get into all that.
• 52:20
  My point is find a way to be grateful.
• 52:24
  Find a way for gratitude to find an opening in your life, in your heart.
• 52:31
  Drive out the complaining.
• 52:34
  So the takeaway.
• 52:35
  What's the takeaway here?
• 52:37
  Uh, these strategies uh won't eliminate life's challenges.
• 52:41
  That's that's not going to happen.
• 52:43
  Um, the challenges aren't going away.
• 52:46
  But these strategies here that we've talked about can maybe help us respond to life's difficulties more effectively.
• 52:55
  And perhaps over time, uh, our thinking will improve, our our behavior will improve, our resilience will improve, even our relationships might improve over time.
• 53:07
  This doesn't mean we should ignore real problems or that frustrations will never arise because they will.
• 53:15
  Problems are going to come, frustrations are going to come.
• 53:19
  Uh this just means shifting away from dwelling on what's wrong and turning our focus on what can be done and what we can learn when life's challenges inevitably come to our doorstep.
• 53:35
  Recognizing that our responses shape not only our brains, but they also shape our lives.
• 53:42
  Breaking this habit of complaining, it's not going to happen overnight.
• 53:47
  If you are a heavy complainer, or if you know someone who is a heavy complainer, uh, I mean, don't invite them to listen to this to this podcast.
• 53:56
  You know, don't call them right now and say, hey, you got to, you know, chime in the next three minutes.
• 54:02
  Uh, and then you're going to be fixed.
• 54:04
  It doesn't work that way.
• 54:05
  This doesn't happen overnight.
• 54:07
  It's it's small amounts, but these small amounts add up.
• 54:10
  The small changes over time add up.
• 54:14
  So the next time you catch yourself about to complain about something.
• 54:19
  Pause and ask yourself this question.
• 54:22
  If I complain, is it going to help me?
• 54:25
  Is it going to feed my brain's negativity loop?
• 54:30
  Is it either going to help me or it's going to dump me into that the negativity loop, which is it?
• 54:36
  Uh, and with consistent effort, you can retrain your mind, you can lift your mood and perhaps even make life feel a little bit lighter by retraining yourself to avoid the complaint factory, avoid the complaint cycle, make the shift away.
• 54:56
  Drive the shift away from complaining.
• 54:58
  Okay, do you know anybody?
• 55:00
  Do you know anybody who complains a lot?
• 55:02
  Maybe it's you.
• 55:04
  Maybe you complain a lot.
• 55:06
  Uh you might want to listen to this, you know, after this show goes into podcasts.
• 55:11
  If you're catching it live right now, after we go into podcasts, you might want to put it on a replay.
• 55:15
  Or if you are in podcast mode, but you might want to save it.
• 55:19
  And you might want to re-listen to it over and over and over because complaining is harming us.
• 55:26
  It's harming our brains, it's harming our relationships.
• 55:30
  It is harming our health, and it's harming those around us.
• 55:36
  And there's only one way to break it, my friends, and that's just to break it.
• 55:40
  I shouldn't say there's only one way, because I I've talked about several ways that we can we can break the cycle here.
• 55:48
  Ultimately, it's got to be broken.
• 55:50
  It's got to be broken.
• 55:52
  I I wonder if the if the Marxists are listening.
• 55:56
  You think they're they're listening, the the anti-Trump faction.
• 55:59
  You think the uh the members of the uh of the NEAR are listening, the teachers' unions.
• 56:00
  uh the members of the uh of the n e air are listening the teachers unions i don't know those that uh perhaps those that are that are antithetical to you to america are they listening we would love it if they would stop complaining and let's just let's just focus on what's what's going right it should it doesn't mean that we ignore problems because we we don't ignore them and we attempt to find solutions but we don't complain along the way all right my friends thank you for joining me again i love the research especially the brain research it's one of my most favorite topics to tackle next to history class of course all right encourage your friends and family to get on the dean's list let's unite to renovate the age
• 56:06
  I don't know.
• 56:07
  Those that uh perhaps those that are that are antithetical to you to America, are they listening?
• 56:14
  We would love it if they would stop complaining and let's just let's just focus on what's what's going right.
• 56:21
  It doesn't mean that we ignore problems because we we don't ignore them and we attempt to find solutions, but we don't complain along the way.
• 56:29
  All right.