Latest / Daily Relationship Tips: Practical Relationship Skills That Help Couples Reconnect / 1 - The Daily Habit That Stops Couples Drifting Apart

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1 - The Daily Habit That Stops Couples Drifting Apart · Daily Relationship Tips: Practical Relationship Skills That Help Couples Reconnect

• 0:00
  When
• 0:00
  was
• 0:01
  the
• 0:01
  last
• 0:01
  time
• 0:01
  you
• 0:02
  told
• 0:02
  your
• 0:02
  partner
• 0:03
  something
• 0:03
  specific
• 0:04
  you
• 0:04
  appreciated
• 0:05
  about
• 0:05
  them?
• 0:06
  Not
• 0:07
  a
• 0:07
  quick
• 0:07
  cheers
• 0:08
  on
• 0:08
  the
• 0:08
  way
• 0:08
  out
• 0:08
  the
• 0:09
  door.
• 0:10
  Something
• 0:10
  real,
• 0:11
  something
• 0:12
  that
• 0:12
  showed
• 0:12
  you'd
• 0:13
  actually
• 0:13
  been
• 0:13
  paying
• 0:14
  attention.
• 0:15
  If
• 0:16
  you
• 0:16
  have
• 0:16
  to
• 0:16
  think
• 0:16
  about
• 0:17
  it,
• 0:17
  you're
• 0:17
  not
• 0:18
  alone.
• 0:18
  And
• 0:19
  this
• 0:19
  episode
• 0:20
  is
• 0:20
  for
• 0:20
  you.
• 0:21
  I'm
• 0:22
  Alistair
• 0:22
  Dewes
• 0:23
  and
• 0:23
  this
• 0:24
  is
• 0:24
  Daily
• 0:24
  Relationship
• 0:25
  Tips,
• 0:26
  where
• 0:26
  I
• 0:26
  share
• 0:27
  simple,
• 0:27
  practical
• 0:28
  tools
• 0:28
  to
• 0:28
  help
• 0:29
  you
• 0:29
  and
• 0:29
  your
• 0:29
  partner
• 0:30
  feel
• 0:30
  close,
• 0:31
  connected
• 0:32
  and
• 0:32
  in
• 0:33
  love
• 0:33
  again,
• 0:34
  one
• 0:34
  small
• 0:35
  habit
• 0:35
  at
• 0:36
  a
• 0:36
  time.
• 0:37
  Here's
• 0:38
  something
• 0:38
  most
• 0:38
  people
• 0:39
  don't
• 0:39
  realize.
• 0:40
  Resentment
• 0:41
  in
• 0:41
  a
• 0:41
  relationship
• 0:42
  rarely
• 0:43
  starts
• 0:43
  with
• 0:43
  a
• 0:43
  big
• 0:44
  blow
• 0:44
  up.
• 0:45
  It
• 0:45
  starts
• 0:46
  quietly,
• 0:47
  with
• 0:47
  all
• 0:47
  the
• 0:47
  good
• 0:48
  things
• 0:48
  we
• 0:48
  notice,
• 0:49
  but
• 0:49
  never
• 0:49
  say.
• 0:51
  Now
• 0:51
  I
• 0:51
  was
• 0:52
  working
• 0:52
  recently
• 0:52
  with
• 0:52
  a
• 0:53
  client.
• 0:53
  I.
• 0:53
  I'll
• 0:54
  call
• 0:54
  Lisa.
• 0:55
  Her
• 0:56
  husband
• 0:56
  wasn't
• 0:56
  a
• 0:57
  bad
• 0:57
  man.
• 0:58
  He
• 0:58
  didn't
• 0:58
  criticise
• 0:59
  her
• 0:59
  or
• 0:59
  pick
• 1:00
  fights,
• 1:01
  but
• 1:01
  somewhere
• 1:02
  along
• 1:02
  the
• 1:02
  way
• 1:03
  he'd
• 1:03
  stopped
• 1:04
  noticing
• 1:04
  her.
• 1:05
  She'd
• 1:05
  cook
• 1:06
  dinner
• 1:06
  and
• 1:06
  he'd
• 1:07
  eat
• 1:07
  it.
• 1:07
  She'd
• 1:08
  manage
• 1:08
  the
• 1:08
  kids
• 1:09
  schedules
• 1:09
  and
• 1:09
  he'd
• 1:10
  move
• 1:10
  on
• 1:10
  to
• 1:10
  the
• 1:10
  next
• 1:11
  task.
• 1:12
  No
• 1:12
  acknowledgment.
• 1:13
  No,
• 1:14
  I
• 1:14
  see
• 1:14
  what
• 1:15
  you're
• 1:15
  doing
• 1:15
  and
• 1:16
  it
• 1:16
  matters
• 1:16
  to
• 1:17
  me.
• 1:18
  After
• 1:18
  about
• 1:18
  six
• 1:19
  months
• 1:19
  of
• 1:19
  this,
• 1:20
  she
• 1:20
  sat
• 1:20
  in
• 1:21
  my
• 1:21
  office
• 1:21
  and
• 1:22
  said,
• 1:23
  I
• 1:23
  don't
• 1:23
  feel
• 1:23
  like
• 1:24
  his
• 1:24
  partner
• 1:24
  anymore.
• 1:25
  I
• 1:26
  feel
• 1:26
  like
• 1:26
  the
• 1:26
  furniture.
• 1:28
  It
• 1:28
  was
• 1:28
  nothing
• 1:28
  he'd
• 1:29
  done.
• 1:30
  It
• 1:30
  was
• 1:30
  everything
• 1:30
  he
• 1:31
  hadn't
• 1:31
  said.
• 1:32
  Appreciation.
• 1:34
  Think
• 1:34
  of
• 1:35
  it
• 1:35
  as
• 1:35
  the
• 1:35
  emotional
• 1:35
  oxygen
• 1:36
  of
• 1:36
  a
• 1:36
  relationship.
• 1:38
  When
• 1:38
  it's
• 1:38
  flowing,
• 1:39
  you
• 1:39
  barely
• 1:40
  notice
• 1:40
  it.
• 1:41
  When
• 1:41
  it
• 1:41
  stops,
• 1:42
  everything
• 1:42
  starts
• 1:43
  to
• 1:43
  feel
• 1:43
  stale.
• 1:45
  Here's
• 1:45
  where
• 1:46
  most
• 1:46
  people
• 1:46
  get
• 1:46
  it
• 1:46
  wrong.
• 1:48
  They
• 1:48
  think
• 1:48
  appreciation
• 1:49
  means
• 1:49
  being
• 1:49
  grateful
• 1:50
  in
• 1:50
  some
• 1:50
  general,
• 1:51
  vague
• 1:51
  way.
• 1:53
  They
• 1:53
  say
• 1:53
  you're
• 1:54
  amazing
• 1:55
  or
• 1:55
  thanks
• 1:56
  for
• 1:56
  everything
• 1:57
  and
• 1:57
  assume
• 1:57
  that
• 1:58
  covers
• 1:58
  it.
• 1:59
  But
• 1:59
  generic
• 2:00
  appreciation
• 2:01
  sounds
• 2:02
  like
• 2:02
  a
• 2:02
  pleasantry.
• 2:03
  It
• 2:03
  doesn't
• 2:04
  land.
• 2:05
  Specific
• 2:06
  appreciation
• 2:06
  does.
• 2:08
  For
• 2:08
  example,
• 2:09
  there's
• 2:09
  a
• 2:09
  real
• 2:09
  difference
• 2:10
  between
• 2:10
  saying
• 2:11
  thanks
• 2:11
  for
• 2:11
  dinner
• 2:12
  and
• 2:12
  saying,
• 2:13
  that
• 2:13
  meal
• 2:13
  you
• 2:13
  made
• 2:14
  tonight.
• 2:14
  I
• 2:15
  could
• 2:15
  tell
• 2:15
  you
• 2:15
  put
• 2:16
  thought
• 2:16
  into
• 2:16
  it.
• 2:17
  That
• 2:17
  means
• 2:18
  something
• 2:18
  to
• 2:18
  me.
• 2:19
  One
• 2:20
  is
• 2:20
  a
• 2:20
  reflex.
• 2:21
  The
• 2:22
  other
• 2:22
  is
• 2:22
  a
• 2:22
  signal.
• 2:23
  I
• 2:24
  see
• 2:24
  you,
• 2:25
  I
• 2:25
  notice
• 2:26
  you're
• 2:26
  not
• 2:26
  invisible
• 2:27
  to
• 2:27
  me.
• 2:28
  That
• 2:28
  signal,
• 2:29
  repeated
• 2:29
  over
• 2:30
  time,
• 2:30
  is
• 2:31
  what
• 2:31
  keeps
• 2:31
  a
• 2:31
  relationship
• 2:32
  warm.
• 2:33
  So
• 2:34
  here's
• 2:34
  something
• 2:34
  you
• 2:34
  can
• 2:35
  start.
• 2:36
  Begin
• 2:36
  a
• 2:37
  daily
• 2:37
  appreciation
• 2:38
  habit.
• 2:39
  Each
• 2:39
  evening,
• 2:40
  over
• 2:40
  dinner,
• 2:41
  on
• 2:41
  the
• 2:41
  couch
• 2:42
  or
• 2:42
  just
• 2:42
  before
• 2:43
  bed,
• 2:44
  tell
• 2:44
  your
• 2:44
  partner
• 2:45
  two
• 2:45
  or
• 2:45
  three
• 2:46
  specific
• 2:46
  things
• 2:47
  you
• 2:47
  appreciated
• 2:48
  about
• 2:48
  them
• 2:48
  that
• 2:49
  day.
• 2:50
  Not
• 2:50
  grand
• 2:50
  gestures,
• 2:51
  ordinary
• 2:52
  ones.
• 2:53
  The
• 2:53
  way
• 2:53
  they
• 2:53
  handled
• 2:54
  something
• 2:54
  with
• 2:54
  the
• 2:54
  kids.
• 2:55
  The
• 2:56
  fact
• 2:56
  they
• 2:56
  made
• 2:57
  you
• 2:57
  a
• 2:57
  coffee
• 2:57
  without
• 2:58
  being
• 2:58
  asked.
• 2:59
  The
• 3:00
  way
• 3:00
  they
• 3:00
  still
• 3:01
  make
• 3:01
  you
• 3:01
  laugh
• 3:02
  after
• 3:02
  all
• 3:02
  this
• 3:03
  time.
• 3:04
  Specific
• 3:05
  is
• 3:05
  the
• 3:05
  magic
• 3:06
  word.
• 3:07
  The
• 3:07
  more
• 3:07
  specific
• 3:08
  you
• 3:08
  are,
• 3:09
  the
• 3:09
  more
• 3:10
  your
• 3:10
  partner
• 3:10
  knows
• 3:11
  you're
• 3:11
  genuinely
• 3:12
  paying
• 3:12
  attention
• 3:14
  and
• 3:14
  being
• 3:14
  truly
• 3:15
  seen
• 3:15
  by
• 3:16
  the
• 3:16
  person
• 3:16
  you
• 3:16
  love.
• 3:18
  That's
• 3:18
  one
• 3:18
  of
• 3:18
  the
• 3:19
  most
• 3:19
  powerful
• 3:19
  feelings
• 3:20
  there
• 3:20
  is.
• 3:21
  It
• 3:22
  doesn't
• 3:22
  take
• 3:22
  long.
• 3:24
  Most
• 3:24
  couples
• 3:24
  who
• 3:24
  start
• 3:25
  this
• 3:25
  habit
• 3:26
  notice
• 3:26
  a
• 3:26
  shift
• 3:27
  within
• 3:27
  the
• 3:27
  first
• 3:27
  week.
• 3:29
  Not
• 3:29
  because
• 3:29
  they
• 3:30
  said
• 3:30
  anything
• 3:30
  extraordinary,
• 3:32
  just
• 3:32
  because
• 3:32
  they
• 3:32
  started
• 3:33
  saying
• 3:33
  what
• 3:34
  they
• 3:34
  were
• 3:34
  already
• 3:34
  feeling.
• 3:36
  So
• 3:36
  here's
• 3:36
  your
• 3:37
  challenge
• 3:37
  for
• 3:39
  Tell
• 3:39
  your
• 3:39
  partner
• 3:40
  three
• 3:40
  specific
• 3:41
  things
• 3:41
  you
• 3:42
  appreciate
• 3:42
  about
• 3:43
  them.
• 3:44
  Not
• 3:44
  at
• 3:44
  the
• 3:44
  end
• 3:45
  of
• 3:45
  a
• 3:45
  long
• 3:45
  conversation.
• 3:46
  Just
• 3:47
  three
• 3:47
  simple,
• 3:48
  genuine,
• 3:49
  specific
• 3:49
  things.
• 3:51
  It
• 3:51
  might
• 3:51
  feel
• 3:52
  a
• 3:52
  little
• 3:52
  awkward
• 3:52
  the
• 3:53
  first
• 3:53
  time,
• 3:54
  but
• 3:54
  do
• 3:55
  it
• 3:55
  anyway,
• 3:56
  because
• 3:56
  here's
• 3:57
  what
• 3:57
  this
• 3:57
  means
• 3:58
  long
• 3:58
  term.
• 3:59
  When
• 3:59
  your
• 4:00
  partner
• 4:00
  feels
• 4:00
  genuinely
• 4:01
  appreciated,
• 4:02
  not
• 4:03
  managed
• 4:03
  or
• 4:03
  handled,
• 4:04
  but
• 4:05
  actually
• 4:05
  seen.
• 4:06
  They
• 4:06
  soften.
• 4:07
  They
• 4:08
  lean
• 4:08
  in.
• 4:09
  The
• 4:09
  small
• 4:09
  irritations
• 4:10
  matter
• 4:11
  less.
• 4:12
  And
• 4:12
  that
• 4:12
  quiet
• 4:12
  drift
• 4:13
  that
• 4:13
  happens
• 4:14
  to
• 4:14
  so
• 4:14
  many
• 4:14
  couples,
• 4:15
  it
• 4:16
  starts
• 4:16
  to
• 4:16
  reverse.
• 4:18
  Appreciation
• 4:19
  won't
• 4:19
  fix
• 4:19
  everything,
• 4:20
  but
• 4:21
  it
• 4:21
  changes
• 4:21
  the
• 4:21
  temperature
• 4:22
  of
• 4:22
  a
• 4:22
  relationship.
• 4:23
  And
• 4:24
  from
• 4:24
  a
• 4:24
  warmer
• 4:24
  place,
• 4:25
  every
• 4:25
  everything
• 4:25
  gets
• 4:26
  a
• 4:26
  little
• 4:26
  easier.
• 4:28
  So
• 4:28
  take
• 4:29
  that
• 4:29
  challenge
• 4:29
  seriously
• 4:30
  today.
• 4:31
  Tell
• 4:32
  your
• 4:32
  partner
• 4:32
  three
• 4:33
  specific
• 4:33
  things
• 4:34
  you
• 4:34
  appreciate
• 4:34
  about
• 4:35
  them
• 4:36
  and
• 4:36
  notice
• 4:37
  what
• 4:37
  happens.
• 4:38
  Small
• 4:39
  steps
• 4:39
  like
• 4:39
  this,
• 4:40
  done
• 4:41
  consistently,
• 4:42
  are
• 4:42
  what
• 4:43
  change
• 4:43
  a
• 4:43
  relationship
• 4:44
  over
• 4:44
  time.
• 4:46
  Now
• 4:46
  here's
• 4:47
  a
• 4:47
  question
• 4:47
  worth
• 4:48
  answering
• 4:48
  before
• 4:49
  you
• 4:50
  how
• 4:51
  connected
• 4:51
  is
• 4:51
  your
• 4:51
  relationship
• 4:52
  right
• 4:52
  now?
• 4:54
  Most
• 4:54
  people
• 4:54
  just
• 4:55
  guess,
• 4:56
  but
• 4:56
  you
• 4:56
  don't
• 4:57
  have
• 4:57
  to.
• 4:58
  There's
• 4:58
  a
• 4:58
  free
• 4:59
  two
• 4:59
  minute
• 4:59
  quiz
• 5:00
  at
• 5:00
  dailyrelationshiptips.com
• 5:02
  that'll
• 5:03
  tell
• 5:03
  you
• 5:03
  exactly
• 5:04
  where
• 5:04
  your
• 5:04
  relationship
• 5:05
  stands
• 5:05
  and
• 5:06
  where
• 5:06
  the
• 5:06
  easy
• 5:07
  wins
• 5:07
  are
• 5:07
  hiding.
• 5:09
  Take
• 5:09
  it
• 5:09
  today
• 5:10
  and
• 5:10
  find
• 5:10
  out
• 5:11
  how
• 5:11
  to
• 5:11
  create
• 5:12
  a
• 5:12
  happier,
• 5:13
  more
• 5:13
  loving
• 5:13
  and
• 5:14
  connected
• 5:14
  relationship.
• 5:15
  And
• 5:16
  while
• 5:16
  you're
• 5:16
  there,
• 5:17
  you'll
• 5:17
  find
• 5:17
  a
• 5:17
  stack
• 5:18
  of
• 5:18
  relationship
• 5:18
  resources
• 5:20
  to
• 5:20
  help
• 5:20
  you
• 5:20
  put
• 5:20
  these
• 5:21
  habits
• 5:21
  into
• 5:22
  practice.
• 5:23
  Everything
• 5:23
  you
• 5:24
  need
• 5:24
  is
• 5:24
  waiting
• 5:25
  there
• 5:25
  for
• 5:25
  you.
• 5:26
  Thanks
• 5:27
  for
• 5:27
  listening
• 5:27
  and
• 5:28
  I'll
• 5:28
  see
• 5:28
  you
• 5:28
  in
• 5:28
  the
• 5:29
  next
• 5:29
  episode.