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OUTRO: Another Hypothetical [R18] · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: For all you men bastards loving the Big Show podcast
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Get up even Closer.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: On Instagram, YouTube, and ticktu.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: Off for for dogging four to.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Seven every weekday on Radio hurd Recare Get.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: A fellows hell.
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: Guy's the beginning. Feedback on News Today's body, I don't
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: think so, not that I read. I got some direct
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: feedback about it from who from Hannah. She's Irish. She
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: lives in Ireland, right, I said, you're married to keep
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: We go ahead, Nat. So she's here, Nat, She's in Dublin.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: She misses you online. She messages me on the old
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: Insta there. She's on Matt leave at the moment, Jace,
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: what leave maternity?
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: She's having another sprague And she found us because they're
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: big fans of h She is a big fan of Taskmaster,
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: and somebody put her onto the New Zealand task Master,
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: which apparently like and I used to be a big
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: fan of task Master. I'm a bit sick of it now,
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: but apparently the New Zealand ones go really really well
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: comparatively well she was a fan of. From there she
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: found the Matt and Jerry Show. And from the Matt
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: and Jerry Show, they found the Big Show and now
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: they listen to the Big Show in their office in Dublin.
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: Everyone in the office is Irish. No key was in
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: there and they listened to our show, not the outro
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: and the outro oh god. And they work in what
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: do they working feelers? They work in health public sector
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: and the Health Service, working in finance and operations. The
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: team is Freddie Mark. Her name is Hannah. Now you
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: tell me how, you tell me, how you say this?
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: This name is going to be a classic Irish name.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: Isn't going to be a.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: Few of them? A O I F e A O
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: I think elf. I think it's elf. This one here
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: e O g.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: H a I n e e O g h a
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  Speaker 5: owen e O g h a I N. Yes, Yeah,
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: that's good, well done. C h O.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: Thing might be like because isn't there, But that's that's
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: s A I O R yes, I think that's yeah,
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: Sorcia sorcerer, sorcerer, Sorcerer's stone. And then c a O
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: L weird a n Colin Colin, Yeah, that's Colin. And
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: then they've got this a new graduate called Shade. Now
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: they apparently this is the message. It came through last
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: night at midnight. Apparently the podcast This Morning Broke Shanade
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: Sensitivity is in our office. I'm currently on Matt Leaves.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: I missed it, but I was thinking, well, how weird
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: could it be?
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: Fucking weird, like I fells, so I apologize.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it did my head in that conversation yesterday. It
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: did my fucking head in what do you mean it
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: was making your head hurt? It was just like what
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: what what?
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: But in what way? What? I don't know.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: It was just like.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: There was just something about it that just it didn't
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: bug me. But it was just like, you're talking about
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: going back as our older selves and beating our younger
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: selves off.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: I was like, because it was important, don't make it predatory.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: I don't want to go there again.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: That's the best chap with Ages. I thoroughly enjoyed.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: It interesting, and I'm sorry that Sade couldn't be adult enough.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: You see it For the question that.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: It was Snade on this, it wasn't interesting at all.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: It was it was. It was an interesting discussion.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Vacuous and unnecessary.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I don't say vacuous, which means dumb, doesn't it?
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: Wow?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Not yes, yeah, yeah.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Because I'm vacuous.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't. I'm dumb. You're a bit of
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: a dear brain.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, do another hypothetical question, No, go on, what
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: do you got? Would you still have a go at yourself?
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Ev When you got to completion, one giant sperm came out.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: I've heard this one before.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you had to fight it afterwards. But it
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: was like it was like the size of like a
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: I don't know, like a fresh that's like I don't know,
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: ten centim is long and it comes out and it's
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: really aggreses.
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: And what's my other option? Two options? No, I wouldn't
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: do it. I would be out.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I'm out of this conversation. Come on, what were you
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: saying on the show man now.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Talking about wrestling with my own ejaculate?
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: I draw the line.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: Man, imagine if you have beaten to death by your
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: own massive spuff God.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Big Show week days from four on Radio Hierarchy The
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Racking Big Show Podcast Day. Okay, So I personally feel
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: bad for you.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: See I feel fatigued already now just that it's just
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: on there.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: So Jason, you ate fifteen dublings the other day and
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: you were like, oh my god, I'm so massive, right, Yes,
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I've never done that before. So I just ate fifteen
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: of the same doublings and I was like, I reckon,
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I could go twenty, righty is twenty two much for once?
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: An?
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Well, Like I said to you, I reckon, you set
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: into those massive food eating comps where they have restaurants
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: around the place and they have a challenge, the food challenge,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: and you've got to eat a huge amount of food
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: and in like thirty minutes and then they give it
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to you.
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  Speaker 4: I could eat twenty as well, but why would you?
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: I know, yummy, No, not yummy though, because you're two full,
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: two ful? Did you eat twenty today?
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: I ate fifteen And as I was eating them, I
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: was eating them in two bites, right, these doublings, And
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I was like, this is going way too fast, and
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I started eding them in three bites to get the
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: most out of it.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you got down that right down.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: That is disgusting. What two bites?
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: They say you should chew your food thirty times.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, you you've completely.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I mean you bite a half.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Whereas I thought traditionally maybe a dumpling was like just
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: one mouthful, not that I do with them like that,
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: but I was like consciously biting them and two mouthfuls,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: and then I went to three mouthfuls to really drag
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: out the pleasure. And then I was like, why don't
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: I just get twenty?
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I reckon, you can fit quite a bit in your mouth.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: It's quite a big mouth.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, I reckon, you'd easily stuff three dumplings in
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: there at a time.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Geezy, if you tried easy and a spring roll and
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: a spring two dumplings in a spring roll, Jason, you
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: were disgusting. Someone please think of snade on the other
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: side of the world. Sensibility is ruined.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: That's how I have them. You do you have them? Yes? Genuinely.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: My brain was like as I opened it and I
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: stirred around all the sauce, and I was like, this
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: is so great. There, how many dumplings I've got? And
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: then I was like, I've only got thirty mouthfuls here
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: because it's fifteen doublings, two bites of each and now
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: are delicious. But I've only got thirty mouthfuls. I don't
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: not even think about it too much.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: And I was counting them down as I was like, damn,
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: twenty sixths.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: Wrong with you? You?
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you need to see a therapist. I've
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: never thought about it in terms of this has helped.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: But I guess if you love something, sure, was anybody
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: with you? Or were you alone? You know what it
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: sounds like. It sounds like you're stoned. That's the kind
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: of thing you think of. You are stoned.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Fair point thirty bites here.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Maybe if I had three bites, then I have, you know,
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: forty five.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I had a thing happened to me the other day, Fellers,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: and afterwards I went, I need help, seriously. I'm not
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: going to tell you what it was.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: Can you tell us what it was?
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: But it was something happened and then I, as I do,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: immediately assumed responsibility for it and had nothing to do
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: with me. And I went, what the fuck is my
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: brain doing?
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: What would be an example not which is not the
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: example that you're talking about.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: So like if someone broke something.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so someone, if I, if I came into the office,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: there was and this is serious.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: So when when you came in, was it one giant
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: ejaculate or billions of little ones?
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Billions of little ejaculates? If I and this is why
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I went, geez, I've got a problem here. If I
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: came into the office.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Right, yeah, so far and.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: There was no one in the office and there was
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: smash glass all over the floor, I would go, fuck,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: did I do that?
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Really?
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: This is like when you go into the toilet and
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: you see shit all over the toilet, hey, and then
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: you clean it up because you're worried that somebody will
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: think it was you.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I often do things kind of like that because I
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: don't want people to think I did that, so I'll
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: sort it out.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: But you're happily live all your rubbish and glasses.
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: The things you are responsible for. You could give a
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: fuck about the things you are responsible for.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: You my god, damn glass out every day.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Sure, but you know what I mean.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I mean it's fucked up, and it's like, clearly I
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: didn't do that, And then for and I'm not joking,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: for two hours, I'll go, fuck did I do that?
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah's something wrong with you that is bad. When you
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: get you know, you get that piece of paper up,
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: you throw it at pegs or you throw it over
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: my way, and then you just leave it there.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Think when you don't give a ship.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Well, they they connect in the sense that they don't
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: disturb me because.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: I know I did that.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: Are You're true? That's true?
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: So but this is like creating a situation where it's
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: nothing to do with me, and yet I'm somehow taking
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: it all on that I did it.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: You know what? That is.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: The big sea.
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: I was going to say early on set dementia, but
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: to be fair, it's not that early. Okay, just before
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: we wrap up, his you go, if you were in
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: jail and you had to eat your future.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Self, You're stuck on a dissert island with a mermaid?
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Would you rather the top half or bottom half with
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: a fish?
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Okay? What kind of fish? Any fish? I want?
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: No, it's a let's just say it's a trout.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: Say the top half a woman, okay, in the bottom
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: half being equaman.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I see what you're doing there now listen, by
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: the way, correction, we never used to do hypotheticals. We
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: used to do would you rather?
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah?
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Is that the same.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Kind of But this is just which one did you
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: go for?
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: Jase?
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: The top half fish or bottom half?
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I'm not even playing the stupid game.
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: What Jase would do to get him get his hands
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: on a whole fish, given him his years of unsuccessful
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: fishing bottom fish.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: Yes, and then I'd fillip the acid. It's just Sami up.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: You're sick man, Sorry about that.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I am. I am. I just told you how sick
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: I am.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know what to apologize to.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Sad my mind, I think, I think so.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: I think there's something wrong with me, because now I
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: think I should be able to fix that.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: The only guy in the heres got his head screwed on.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you've got too much Portmants in your brain. That's
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: what your problem is. Easy for all those dumplings.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: Actually, I tried the chicken ones did, and that was
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: fucking good.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: I had ones the other day too.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: He had twenty of them, five and one sitting. That's
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: the full seven weekdays when I get