Latest / The Padded Cell Podcast / EPISODE 143 - 'History's Luckiest Idiot'

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EPISODE 143 - 'History's Luckiest Idiot' · The Padded Cell Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Coming up on episode 143.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: You mean?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: You read something you're like, oh fuck off, this did not happen, but it did.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: He's just he's an old cantankerous old cunt and he just gets blown up.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: So low-flying aircraft, pyrotechnic, and kids.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a good combination.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's not.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: You take cock.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so do you.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't just wipe yourself when they'd finished and got out and wiped them out, never.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna see your eyes like that.
• 0:32
  unknown: Good girl.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Are you a deviant?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like those of us who binge watch serial killer programmes, laugh at the stupid stuff people do, and revel in anything adult?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you found your people! Join us as we crack open the door to Puffet Cell and release the insanely stupid, the weirdly wonderful, and those who choose to live outside society for norms.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: We develop into the strange, the macabre, the sexy and the outrageous! So, if you're a deviant, then you have your place with us in the Puffett Cell.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: This episode is powered by our Patreons.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks everyone for your continued support and a special welcome to our new Patreons, Michaela, Elisa and Nig.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, one, two, three, one, two, three, here we go.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Give us a loud.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, loud, hello, hello.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, your loud isn't even loud.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like a little cute loud.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, and welcome to episode one four three of the Mather Cell podcast.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: And today I'm here again with our Kev! Hello! Right, we're back.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: In your fairy t-shirts.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you should like it, yeah.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_03: This is your favourite image.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: There's a little uh fairy bear.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, a little fairy bear next to him.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so for those who aren't watching, Kev has got a blue t-shirt on with like a fairy and like mainly gold, and the furry is a bird with a harness on, and he's got like uh boots on, like maybe like let's say Doc Martin's, but they're not little very tight shorts, a wand looking very camp, and um next to him is a bird, looking like a cur burr, a very camp cur bur with matching wings.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: I know, and look, he's even got like the quiffy hair and the attached.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and he's got a bur tattoo, hasn't he?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: And he's got a little belly as well.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's me.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh behave, behave.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: So uh the last time uh you were here, it was our pride episode.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's such fun, wasn't it, that one?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: And um I didn't cry, I had my handkerchief.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, I was nearly there though.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: That lazy lobotomy, that that story of the guys who made it's beautiful, wasn't it?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, so good, and I'm not gonna say anymore.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: In case you've just found us, you need to go back to episode 139 to hear all about it.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: I will not tell you anymore.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny, you know.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um I still get messages from people now who have maybe just seen one of the latest reels, and they say, Oh, I've just I've just literally seen episode one three six.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I've just found you, and I'm going back to the beginning.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, how lucky are you with all that good stuff?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: All those great episodes.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely brilliant.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: So this is going out.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: When is this going out?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: This is going out on the 23rd of July.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: Oh and can I just say as well, Vic, vad it a bunny old eek?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you still remember that.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: I can't remember that.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: You've been practicing, obviously.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: You've been saying it.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: So 23rd of July.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: My granddad uh died on the 23rd of July.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_04: Oh god.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: I was smiling.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a long time.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a long time, and he and he's he's influenced you in your life, and yeah, you're happy.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: I look a little bit like my granddad.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_03: Do you?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I know some more as I get a bit older.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: I also got short hair as well, but and he had glasses, but yeah, like your eyes start to huddle a little bit as you get older.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: I saw a picture and I'm like, he's got eyes like me.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I look like my granddad.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: I look like my dad.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: Do you?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I really look like my dad.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: So if you see pictures with me next to me now as well, look about like me now.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, anyway, what the fuck?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: Fucking hell on a tangent again.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: So on this day in 1982, so 23rd of July 1982.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Something happened on a film set that would change Hollywood forever.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh right, well you might remember it back there, because it's within our lifetime.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I've not heard loads about it since.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: However, what happened um on this day?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it it changed how they would um like the safety regulations and stuff on film sets from that day on.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: So even if you don't talk about this, it had a big influence on safety on the film set.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: Are you curious?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: So on the night of the 23rd of July, a film crew showed up to the studios expecting to finish a scene.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: So this is a scene that they'd already filmed a few days before.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: This was the last scene.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: So before even telling about it, when I uh I read to the end, I'm like, if it had just managed to fill finish the scene on the previous day, this would never have happened.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: But unfortunately, Faith had other ideas.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: So the film The Twilight Zone, the movie was being filmed, and I don't know if you ever saw it.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was like it was based on the television series, but it was like um a film of four like uh short films.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and there's some big directors in there if I remember rightly.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um John Landis, um, Steven Spielberg, there's some others involved in it.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Big names, anyway.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh oh yeah, yeah.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: John Landis.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: I thought I'd plucked that out of my brain, but I'd obviously typed it at some point.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um if you don't know John Landis, he'd directed films like Animal House, which I've spoken about loads.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: The Blues Brothers is you know quite famous, yeah.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so he was involved in this particular scene.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: He was the director for this particular scene.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: There's an actor called Vic Morrow, you probably won't know him.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: And he was playing a man attempting um to rescue two Vietnamese children from a war zone.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: And the production they'd gone all out on this, you know, no expense spurs, there was gonna be pyrotechnic, smoke, military effects, um, a low-flying helicopter, all that kind of thing.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, there's the two children you're supposed to be rescuing.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: There's six-year-olds Renee Shin Yi Chen, and seven-year-olds Mika Din Li.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the controversies that would later come from this was that um the children were filming under circumstances that actually um they should never have been allowed in in the first place.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: We're talking about the paratechnics here, the low-flying helicopters.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Should they have been there in the first place?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: According to witnesses during the filming, the helicopter was hovering low while paratechnic explosions were being detonated around it.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: And the plan was for Vic Morrow to carry the children through like shallow water while chaos basically erupted around them.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: And the scene should have been brilliant, but I just don't think enough safety uh safety aspects were covered.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: So something went horribly wrong.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, this is what I'm getting to.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: One of the explosions, one of detonations, erupted too close to the helicopter.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: And um, in the helicopter, they've got your pilots, and there's five passengers, there's six people in this helicopter for this scene.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: Cameramen and all sorts of things, and there were three people on the ground, Vic Morrow and the two children.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so the explosion went off near the aircraft, and that's a problem because it hit the tail rotor of the helicopter.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't know what that is, it stops the helicopter going into a spin, an uncontrollable spin.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: And without that, basically the pilot can lose complete control, and that's exactly what happened.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: So the helicopter just came crashing down and it landed on the three actors, Vic Morrow and the two children.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: The pilot did fight to regain control, but once that rotor blade was gone, that was nothing he could do.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, his name was Dorsey Wingo, which is a quirky little name.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_03: Wingo in a helicopter.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Dorsey Wingo.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: He and the passengers in the helicopter survived.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: So even though the explosion went off, it only hit the rear rotor.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_03: Because they were so low down, they didn't have too far to drop.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: But they landed on these people and they died.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: So all three were killed.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: So one minute they'll film a scene um making it look like a disaster site, and actually they were part of a disaster site in the end.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: So there's lots of questions, obviously, questions about who approved this stunt in the first place.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: Questions about whether the helicopter should have been flying so low.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Questions about whether the explosions were too close.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Was there other ways to do this?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Other effects?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's 1982, so it wasn't like in the 50s.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: There's still you know advancing.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: But it wasn't like today, though.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's not like today, it wasn't CGI, but there's angles and stuff like that.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, the biggest question why children involved in such a dangerous sequence.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: They should have they should have rewrote how they were going to film that.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so the accident triggered one of Hollywood's most significant investigations in the film industry, and criminal charges were eventually eventually brought against several people connected, including John Landis.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: So the argument from prosecutors was that um a series of decisions are created.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: So he wasn't the only reason, he was one of several people who could have actually intervened and said, no, I'm not happy with this setup or whatever, it's not safe.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: The defence argued that it was a terrible accident.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Which it was a terrible accident, but I argue it was an avoidable accident, and that is basically what they were they were going with.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: However, it was a very lengthy, highly publicised trial, and all defendants were acquitted of criminal charges.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because they couldn't pin it on just any one or it wasn't the end of it, there were civil lawsuits they followed on, and settlements were reached.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, after that, the entire industry started looking much harder at safety procedures, and it's often isn't it when something goes horrifically wrong, it's only then that you start looking at Oh, it's like that episode of Unhinged that you did about the uh dolphin thing The Bifard Dolphin.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's always like that, you know, aircraft and aircraft investigation, what's it called?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Air crash investigation.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: You ever watched it?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: I start to stop watching it.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was never a nervous flyer.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: I watched it at nine series and I was starting to get nervous.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: But all the uh advances in aviation have only come from mistakes and fatalities, accidents, that kind of thing.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Same in in any industry, including this one.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, yes, there are accidents, but some is a bit of common sense, Kev.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, I know.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_03: At least we're learning from our mistakes.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we are, but you know what I mean.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: It shouldn't take that to do that.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think that should have happened really.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: We're ever trying to mind, even 1982.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: Low flying aircraft, pyrotechnic, and kids.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, just makes yeah.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a good combination.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is it?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: So obviously, like I say, it did actually go on to change uh the whole landscape of production sets, uh, what was allowed, what wasn't allowed, who was allowed on set, and things about timing.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: So they filmed late at night, not in great conditions, that kind of thing.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: So it did change a lot.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um anyway, the Twilight Zone did go out.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I looked into that particular scene and it was the last scene of the sequence, and they just had to basically they changed the scene but not the outcome.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: So they used some other fussage to try and piece it together.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: So you you watch it and you'd never know that those three actors were dead.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_03: Glimming.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, um the the directors involved.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, John Landis never fully recovered, apparently.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um I'm I would think, yeah, because he's living with that decision that he was involved in that.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was always with him, apparently.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um when I was thinking about this, uh I would feel responsible, even though there's lots and lots of other people.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: He was the director of that that it's not just that just shows humanity.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: A director isn't just the director of the movie, he's a director of everything involved in putting that together.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: The team, but he's directly, and so I can see, I can see why, and um it's a shame, but I'm sure he learned.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure he learned from that mistake, didn't he?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: He was the captain of that ship.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, moving on to something, it's not it's not more positive, but you know, you you read something, you're like, oh fuck off, this did not happen, but it did.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard of the Rally Bath Chair murder?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: 23rd of July 1943.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so that would be wartime, yeah.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: Wartime, Quiet Town in Essex.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, Essex.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: There must be such a thing out there.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, there was a victim, Archibald Brown, 61-year-old man.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: And he wasn't a frail man, but he was in um a chair.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: And they would call them bath chairs, but they were like old-fashioned wheelchairs.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I know the ones, yeah, they look like a bathtub and they sit in them and they like push them along like that, yeah.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and there's lots of conflicting stories of why he was in this, um, but I couldn't confirm it.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: So uh even though he's in the chair, he was still um you know quite physically strong, actually.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I also got the impression that he was a bit difficult to live with at times.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_03: So was he restrained in the chair?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 14:10
  unknown: Okay.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: No, he was a very strong man, even though he's in the chair, strong physically and mentally.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, one of them.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: He's a very familiar figure around the area, and he was often seen out and about being pushed along by family members and stuff like that.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: So, um, shopkeepers knew him, neighbours recognised him.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: It was basically his daily house and was to go around the local area.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: So it wasn't unusual then um to uh to see him out and about being pushed around or wherever there's family.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um this one particular day, Friday, the 23rd of July, he was out as he always was in the afternoon.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing appears unusual until why am I laughing?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Without warning, there was a colossal explosion.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: And the explosion came from Archibald and his chair.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna have to redo this thing again.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's a natural human reaction, isn't it?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so what had happened oh before I wrote this down.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hang on.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: So is an anti-tank mine under his chair and when he exploded, body part landed in gardens and like hanging off trees and stuff like that is really, really bad.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay because what I'm gonna do, folks, is keep the camera on me because I've got three cameras on the go because you don't want to see what Kev's doing right now.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's so inappropriate.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm eating a biscuit and laughing and choking and everything.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: So what happened?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Who did this?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Archibald lived with his wife and teenage son, Eric.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: And um, like I said before, he he was difficult to live with, and um there was there was rumours already, you know, that there was maybe something argy bargy within the household.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: People had initially thought that a German bomb had fallen, or you know, like somebody gone over a bomb, it detonated or something.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, it was like you know, wartime Britain.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Stop laughing.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: What in hell?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, it wasn't that at all.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: Control yourself, Cap.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, it wasn't, like I said before, the police discovered it was an anti-tank grenade, specifically a Hawkins grenade.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and these devices have been designed during the Second World War to damage vehicles and tanks.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine the state of this wheelchair in an Archibald afterwards?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: They weren't designed to murder pensioners, so he must have been like vaporised, mustn't he, really?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: Poor Archibald.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Suspicion soon focused on Archibald's 19-year-old son, Eric.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: When they dug deeper, they uh uncovered a family situation farm up.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, look, it was fucking Eric.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: Eric did it.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: He thought he didn't get on with his dad, he didn't like him, so he basically put a bomb on his chair.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: I detonated and he obliterated him.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: End of story.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: Why did he do it?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't ruin it, don't ruin it.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_02: Because he was a cunt.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: He was a bit of a cunt, yeah.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so he confessed.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: He confessed to it.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um and it wasn't motivated by money, and there's no inheritance, no secrets, no affair, no organised criminal plot, he said.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: There's years of misery inside the family home.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: And he painted a picture of a father whose behaviour had worn him down over time.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: He blew him up.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: He blew him up.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean he really didn't like him, did he?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, but that's hilarious.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: He's so bad.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm like, where did he get the butt?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: It must have been like an unexplosive bomb that he's found.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: He must have found him.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: I know what I could do with this.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna blow me down.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: So what did he do?
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: Just lob it through a window or something?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he put it under his chair and it just it blew him up.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_03: And he ran away.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he wasn't there, yeah.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: So he didn't add along with a grenade.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: So uh he didn't go to prison, he spent the rest of his life um in a psychiatric unit.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: So uh there you go.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_03: I just got to your kids.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, what's making me laugh is just the thought of him going up in this bloody bathtub.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Vaporised.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: Poor Archie then.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: What way to go?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be a cunt.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be a cunt.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Right, so we're gonna do a little dangly bit.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's gonna be a game because we haven't done one for ages.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_03: Right, I don't think I've done a game with you.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yes, I have.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: I need to go over there and get my headphones, hang on.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna get a close up.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: So it's called sorry what?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: So you put your headphones on and you press a little button at the side and it plays music so you can't hear nothing.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh hang on, switch it on properly.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm gonna mouth words and you've got a guess.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: You can't hear the thing.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_03: Vibrator.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: I just like very good at like mouth and thirty something.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: Threesome.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Say more about you than it is about me.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: Glory hole.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: You take cock.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so do you.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Bush.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: You finished?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well done.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so good.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Gosh on loads of the biggest.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well that must have been your great elocution of Matt.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: So, one, two, three, four, five.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well done.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Is that a record?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Hang on, no, I forgot you got more than that.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Six, seven.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, vibrator, foreskin, bush, threesome, stripper, vasectomy, and butthole.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said before, it says more about you than it says about me.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: Right, so maybe maybe that's because I'm used to you know, men in bars going yeah, maning across the bar.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: So you just go like that.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's just a quick Oh, is it?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: You, me?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, basically.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: That's gonna be a real.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that was fun.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: That was great fun.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: The thing is, though, for all the people listening on audio, also gonna hear a little bit of music in the back out, and you go.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: So all them people who've got is it misophonia, however, you hate that munchy sound down the microphone.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna go.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: You're welcome.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh shit, where's my notes?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: Hang on.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right then.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: So let's go on to my main segment.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, 25 minutes already, Kev.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: There's a little slurp of me.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: Seven up.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: I've said it again.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna have another biscuit then, but I don't want to laugh this time.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: That was funny, though.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to tell a serious story about poor Alfella getting blown up.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: By an anti-tank bomb by his son Eric.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: And you're all laughing.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: I just find it hilarious.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: He's an old cantankerous old cunt and he just gets blown up.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: I mean it's great.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it was guaranteed to work.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's what we all say in it.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: I wish I could blow that fucker up.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, I don't.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: I have other ways.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but you'd the content is there then what you'd like to do to them, and he goes and fucking doesn't.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: I've got a poison garden.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: I've told you, I'm not I've got a poisonous plant out there.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oleander.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: I've got, yeah.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna use it.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to say I've got a poisonous plant anyway.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_03: And people don't know you will go, got the message.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Don't fuck with me and don't come for dinner.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: And don't be a cunt.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: Because we don't want you being like that mushroom woman in Australia.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_03: Oh god.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right, we're not gonna we're going down our tangent again here.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: Have you seen a Netflix thing on it?
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Netflix or Prime?
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's prime, isn't it?
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: Prime, yeah, anyway.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna talk about a guy who um on paper should have been bankrupt and ridiculed and forgotten.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because he really should have just lost everything and just disappeared.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: Instead, he became rich, famous, bizarrely successful, but he really shouldn't have been, wrote one of the strangest books ever to be published.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: He declared himself a lord, really, built statues to himself, faked his own death, and spent much of his life making sensible people question whether they were actually the Shufotons.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: You ever heard of this guy?
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_03: Well the only person I can think of is Geoffrey Archer.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's not him then.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: This guy's name is Timothy Dexter.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I still don't know who you mean.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well you won't, because he's born a long time ago, but people do still talk about him now.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: I did know about this guy before I did my research, and I've just I've been just waiting for the right time to plop him in.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Very long time ago, 1747 in Massachusetts.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Rice.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Is this gonna be offensive?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: You are old enough to remember Kenny Everest.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and obviously, gay man, you know, you if you yeah, you don't know Kenny Everest.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: Love Kenny Everett.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: If you out there don't know Kenny Everett, he was a comedian in the early 80s, uh late 70s, early 80s.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: Very funny man from our area.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well my area, your adopted area.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: And uh you think, Joe, it looks a little bit similar to you as well, with the beard and everything.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's just done in the most possible days.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's exactly what Kenny Everett did.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's gonna be a reel as well.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'll put like a little video of Kenny Everett doing it.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_03: He does it higher, doesn't he?
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: He does, but you're gonna bang the mics.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: It's done in the most possible taste.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna bang the mic anyway, so I'll bang it.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: What I'll do, I'll leave that in, but I'll turn your mic off so we don't hear the bang.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, sorry.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: What you cut it on, really just move your mic and then done it, but you don't have to do it again.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna do it again.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, no.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_03: We're not professional here.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_03: We don't do take after take away.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_03: We don't, we're not asked.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: We bang the mic and make a tiss out of ourselves.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so Kenny Everest, he'd uh he'd do like um sketches on TV and the one that you were just demonstrating.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: Do you remember the name?
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um Stupid uh Cupid Stunt.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: And um he would wear stockings, wouldn't he?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: And he would do the frock and the frock, and he would do the leg cross but open his legs as far as possible so he could see what was up there and then bring them back together again.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: And say it's done in the most best possible taste.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: So he used to do these sketches.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: One of his sketches was the Bee Gees.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and the Bee Gees, as we all know, have got uh quite prominent teeth as part of the gimmick, actually, really, isn't it?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: The old yeah.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I love Barry Gibb.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so one of their sketches, the singing the the Bee Gees song Massachusetts, aren't they?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: But Kenny Everett, he sings Massive Twissets.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: So now every time Massachusetts comes on the radio, me and Jim sing Massive Twissets.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: Pitching the Bee Gees.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_04: Massive Twisets are brilliant.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: Immersive Tucets.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: So now all of you out there, you're so welcome.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: You're only going to be able to hear Massive Twissets now when you're here at the end.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, prominent teeth.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, does anyone know how we got there?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, are you?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because Timothy Dexter tangents we can get out.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: Timothy Dexter was born in Massachusetts.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't attend university, he was a labourer.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and later a leather dresser.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: Labour and a leather dresser.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean unfamiliar with the term, it's nothing like he's implying.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's basically preparing animal hide to be made into leather goods.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't glamorous and stinky.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Have you smelled the tanning place?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's horrible, isn't it?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_03: Stinks.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: Bubbling fat.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, it's horrible.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Tentacles.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: So basically, people weren't looking at the young Timothy Dexter thinking, you know, he's gonna be a very successful entrepreneur or anything like that.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yet somehow he managed to marry a wealthy widow and he improved his social standing considerably when he did so.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: And um he had this like ability to end up in fortunate situations.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't always go out to find them, they found they found him.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it was skill, instinct, luck, all three, we don't know.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it's uh it's still a mystery that it's still discussed.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: There's programmes about them and everything.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, the first major example happened, um, arrived just after the American Revolution.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and at the time, the American government uh they'd issued like huge amounts of continental currency, and these notes almost became worthless because of it.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: And in fact, um the phrase if you've ever heard of it, not worth the continental, actually become uh became come from this story.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: And most sensible investors said, Well, why on earth would you want anything to do with this?
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's worth nothing.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally just paper, yeah.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Worth nothing.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: However, Dexter, Timothy Dexter, bought huge quantities, and people thought he was mad, absolutely mad.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_03: So he bought huge quantities of this currency.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: This currency that was worth nothing.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, something unexpected happened.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: The government eventually redeemed portions of the currency and associated like securities with it.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: And Dexter, supposedly worthless investments, became very valuable and he made a fortune.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: So once the banks started recalling the currency, it was suddenly worth something.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just sitting there, loads of it.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: And what it was originally worth is obviously worth more because currency increases in value, just with inflation.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: Every assumed it was a fluke, and actually, it does look like it was a fluke in this particular instance.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: So now Rich.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: Dexter, he began like um mixing in circles with merchants and businessmen, and he could they considered him a fool because they thought this was a fluke.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: Stupid man bought this currency that was worth nothing, and it was just pure luck that he turned it round.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: And some of them decided to have a little bit of fun with him, and he started offering like terrible business advice to him.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: A bit mean, that really, isn't it?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: It is and not slightly risky advice either, like catastrophic, stupid advice, damaging advice that would make him lose his money.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they didn't want him up in their stuff.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: Very cruel, very cruel, really.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_03: That's America's got a history of that though, when people start to do well.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: Pull them down.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, pull them down.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: If you're not born into money and new money, you're never gonna fit into our circle.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it was created for people to actually follow their dream.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: Accessible, yeah.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, Timothy Dexter listened to this very stupid advice every single time it was given to him.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: One merchant suggested exporting warming pans to the Caribbean.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: And a warming pan.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: It was essentially like a metal pan filled with hot coals used to warm a bed before sleeping.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: Useful in snowy climates, maybe.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: Completely ridiculous in tropical heat.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, the businessman obviously expected this all to fall into disaster and he'd lose all his money.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: Dexter shipped these pans anyway.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: What happened?
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: The warming pans found a new use.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_03: Cooking pans.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: Plantation workers reportedly used them as large scoops and ladles in sugar and molasses trade.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: Equaling profit.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: So the men who suggested the idea could not believe it.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Their jokers worked because they were useless, but he turned them or they turned them into something else.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: And it hadn't ruined him at all.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: It made even more money.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: Undeterred! They tried again.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: Someone suggested some shipping woolen mittens to tropical climates.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Another guaranteed failure, you all say.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: Again, Dexter did it.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: And again, he made money.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: Now the exact details of how he made money are a little bit sketchy.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: But the shipment found buyers rather than becoming the worthless cargo, everybody expected it.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: Even more profit.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: Again.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: The merchants became increasingly frustrated.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: Why they just give up?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're cunts.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're cunts.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: Again.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they didn't want him in their social circle.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_03: And he's getting richer than all of them, probably.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because Carla is like, well, you bunch of cons there, you're getting nothing.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: And the person that you're trying to bring down is going to get it.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so like I said, they became increasingly frustrated.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: And the game, I've been saying against them time and time again, every attempt they made fail, so they raised the stakes.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like every stupid, narcissistic, jealous person would.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: So they said to send things where they were not needed, export goods where they were not needed, invest in ridiculous ventures.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: Timothy's response was always that sounds good.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: And off he went and give it a go.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: And every time I mean I could go into detail, I'm not the universe kept rewarding him.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then came the most famous story.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: Someone supposedly suggested shipping coal to Newcastle.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't know um anything about Newcastle, it is a very uh famous city for coal production in the UK.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: So sending coal there would be like sending sand to a beach.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sending sand to the Caribbean, but maybe if they sent them there often enough and that backfired.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, according to the story, Dexter shipped the coal anyway.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: And through extraordinary timing, local mining disruptions allegedly created a temporary demand for coal in the area.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_03: So they were running dry, basically.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: And his coal arrived just in time and he made a huge amount of money.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: And his wealth increased.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: And increase, obviously, money makes money as well.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_01: He kept making these wise investments.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, Dexter himself became convinced he was a genius, not just successful, a genius, possibly the greatest genius.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_01: But nobody else is willing to acknowledge that.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: And he thought, well, if you're not willing to acknowledge it, I'll do it myself.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: He purchased a large mansion in a town called Newburyport in Massachusetts.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to keep saying this so it's ingrained in your brain.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: You'll keep saying Massive Chussets.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, all the people at Massachusetts are being mad now.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you see the funny side of it.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry if you don't.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if I was sorry, I wouldn't keep saying it, would I?
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, Bottis Mansion began.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: Bought his big mansion, he began decorating it.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_01: Most wealthy people would buy artwork, maybe a nice fountain outside or whatever.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_01: Timothy obviously chose a slightly different approach.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: He filled the ground with statues.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: Lots of statues.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_03: Of himself.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and other famous figures, and then Timothy Dexter himself.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: Several statues of Timothy Dexter.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: Why have one statue of yourself when you can have many?
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: Visitors described the prophecy as extraordinary, ridiculous, and fascinating.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: And people travelled far and wide specifically to see it.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: So he'd obviously made quite a spectacle of this thing with all of his money.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: But he's also created a tourist attraction.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: So when I first read this, I was like, so he's a bit of a narcissist really, isn't it?
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: He's bought his big mansion, he's filming it with statues of himself, but also George Washington and other people.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: But what he's created is a tourist attraction.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's exactly what he did.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_01: And do I think that it was by accident?
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: No, I think probably by this point, he's become a little bit more savvy.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: He might have stumbled across these fortunes previously by accident, but you learn.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: And he's thought, well, you know, we've got all this money, I can buy this great house.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just fill it with stuff that's going to make me even more money.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: Who's going to pay for it?
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_03: Taurus.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_03: Look at Raceland.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly that.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: So he then promoted himself to aristocracy.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody gave him the title.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't an official honour.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: Timothy simply announced one day that he was now to be known as Lord Timothy Dexter.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that was it.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: No ceremony.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: No paperwork.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: Just confidence, lots of it.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: The title did appear on his documents, his documents.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: It appeared in conversations.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: He would introduce himself as Lord Timothy.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: And people started using this.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: This is an America.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: Did people start using it because they believed it, or just repetition, or just exhausted from hearing it all the time?
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: Just okay, just call him Lord.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: For God's sake, you motherfuck.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, now comes one of the most strangest literary achievements in American history, which I uh touched on at the beginning.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: Timothy decided to write a book.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: And the result was called A Pickle for the Knowing Ones.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_03: A pickle for the Knowing Ones.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: A pickle for the Knowing Ones.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: People called it magnificent.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: Not because it was well written, quite the opposite.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: The book contained wildly unusual opinions, personal observations, complaints, boasts, and ramblings.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_03: Oh sounds fabulous.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not what made it famous.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: What made it famous was the pronunciation.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: Or rather, the complete absence of pronunciation.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: No false stops, no commas, no semicolon, which I love.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine trying to read this thing and there's just no punctuation.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: He informed readers, they could insert them wherever they felt they should be, basically.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: Which I think is a funny thing.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: You created this thing, but you're also allowing the person to read it however they want.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: Is he stupid or is he amazing?
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_03: He's getting their opinion rather than his opinion.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: What he's doing is creating something that's got words, but punctuation, as we both know, determines the emotion and the uh intent of the sentence.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: So a a comic can make a difference between an angry statement and a compliment, for instance.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is he purposely just writing these words and feelings down and allowing people to put the pauses in where their brain takes them?
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Am I reading too much into this?
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: Or is he just is he just mad?
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_03: No, I know I think he I think you're probably right.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_03: He's probably clever because he wouldn't have been as success as successful as he was if he wasn't educated.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: But he did not formal education.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_03: No, but he but he'd had enough.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: He'd had enough, but think about the people he's been dealing with in his business, all these businesses he stumbled upon.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: People who are educated, he's he's lived as he's la as he's lived.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: Learned as he's lived.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so we think he's probably got to the point where he's become a bit savvy about people and how they tick.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: The whole thing about making his mansion into a tourist attraction, he's learned how people tick, what they'll spend their money on.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: So this book, I think he's probably thought, I'm just gonna put my words down on paper because I've got a lot of interesting things to say.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: But I think also he's done something which is still being talked about today and he knew it.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_03: He knew it.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_03: And is it is it a very uh popular book then?
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's editions still out there, for sure.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I think the first editions, I don't know if it's Smithsonian or somewhere like that I've read.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so like I say, informed readers, they can insert their own commas and stuff.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it's almost like, yeah, just yeah, fine, you do it.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: You just pop them wherever you want, really.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's it, yeah.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: With no hate that.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, I'm not gonna go into it.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not guilty of that, I think.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_01: I've not noticed.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: Have you not?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: I've got semi-corons in mine.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: I do.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: I actually didn't notice it.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: I do.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: A cur on.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um somebody actually pointed out one day you put a semi-coron in your text.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: I just didn't realise it was just a natural thing to do.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so multiple editions of this book were published.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: People bought it because Tilvy Dex had become famous.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like Victoria Beckham writes a book people buy.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was like the 18th century eccentric.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: The next big thing.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: People couldn't look away.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_03: There's a celebrity in his own.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: What's he gonna do next?
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_03: Is the Alan Sugar Hugo's dogs?
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_01: The more bizarre he became, the more interested everybody became.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: He's like his own self-publicist in a way.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like that.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, then he decided to answer a very important question.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: A question that apparently bothered him.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: How much do people actually love me?
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: Most we lost friends and family and all that.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: Timothy Dexter asked in a different method.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: He faked his own death.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_01: He arranged a mock funeral, an observed event from hiding to basically observe how much people adored him.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, the commitment that goes into that, the logistics of it all, how many people are going to participate, and the madness that would ensue afterwards when they find out.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_03: Also, there's the sort of like the sheer cheek of him as well to do that.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_03: Cruel.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_03: Cruel.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's almost like his payback on everyone that's doubted him.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: Reports suggest very large numbers attended and the experiment appeared successful.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: People came, people mourned, people talked about him, mission accomplished.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: And did people pay?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: What did people pay?
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_03: Did he make more money as well?
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_03: Because of it?
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: No, this was literally a narcissistic stunt to see how much people loved him.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: Except Timothy noticed something.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: His wife wasn't displaying enough grief.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine attending your husband's funeral.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: And deceased appears and complains that you're not performing as convincingly enough.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: According to the popular story, Timothy was furious that she wasn't upset enough.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: Even death wasn't enough to satisfy his need for attention.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: So one of the biggest questions we've just been discussing whether he was actually foolish.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: Some histori historians argue that he was he he genuinely did lack education and social refinement.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: But he was smart.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: And smarter than people realised.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: And people did think he was a bit of an idiot.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: But he was an idiot who kept making money.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: So who's really winning here?
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_03: If you look at money as being the be all and end all.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: He recognised opportunities where people didn't.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_01: He took risks where people didn't.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: He trusted people where many didn't.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it all paid off.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I quite like that.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's why Timothy Dexter's story has endured.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because he's this is it's a human story in a way.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: He's just trusted people, he's learned, he's read people, made some mistakes, he's made a shit ton of money.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: But then at the end of it all, what's he really got?
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because he's got all these things, he just wanted people to love him.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: And the ultimate test was to fake his own funeral to see how much people loved him, and even his wife didn't love him enough in his own in his own eyes.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: So what did he have at the end of it all?
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_01: But how would you know if she didn't love you?
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: People express grief in different ways, don't they?
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've been to funerals where a partner I hate to say it mean now.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: My my granddad's funeral, she didn't cry, she didn't cry for weeks, she couldn't.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it was because she said um she was sad.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: She knew she was sad, but it wasn't um she didn't feel it.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: In her core.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_01: Her brain told her she was sad, but her heart hadn't caught up yet.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it was only a few weeks later, and then all of a sudden it was something very, very, very simple.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_03: And she finally realised he was gone.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: Something happened small.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: And she realised and she broke down.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_01: And she cried and cried and cried and cried and cried.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then you know she she started not started the morning process, she continued the mourning process.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I remember the funeral and there wasn't a tear.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, I feel really guilty for not crying.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_01: I went, Well, now people express their grief in different ways.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: And some people express their mourning loudly, very publicly.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, I've ever seen people uh when a black person's died and their family are around and they're very vocal, and some people sing and they'll chant, they'll scream and they'll be on the floor.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_03: Because it's a human reaction.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_03: I find that really emotional, actually.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: Is it oh gosh, it's horrible to say that you I don't like watching that, but there's something about it.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: I really feel how much you loved that person, yeah, but then somebody who's not crying doesn't mean that they didn't love the person just as much.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: But when you see that expression of grief, that outpouring of grief, you're like, gosh, all that love that's coming out.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_03: And that's what he wanted to see.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_01: He wanted to see that and he didn't see that.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_01: What a story.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's incredible.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's a story of chance and ch and you're taking risks, uh, but then at the end of it all, what was he?
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_03: So money doesn't bring you happiness.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_01: It brought him something, but I don't think it brought him what he was looking for.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_01: Timothy Dexter, the man who should, Lord Timothy Dexter, the man who should have lost it all, really, and just carried on being a labourer, and yet there he was.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_01: In a millionth time and time again.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: What a guy, what a guy.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right, so I've got a little lazy lobotomy.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I like these, you know I do.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's a really short one.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: I quite like this because it's a short one, it's open-ended, really.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: Ready?
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_01: Do you?
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: Lady lobotomy.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be a domestic slave.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_03: Where do I start to be able to do it?
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_03: Just come round.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_03: Just come round to my house.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_03: You can clean my bloody place.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_03: I hate doing it.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: Where do I start?
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: So as I said.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be a domestic slave.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: Where do I start?
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_03: Obviously.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_03: Too right.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: And you're homosexual, even better.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so domestic slave, where do we start?
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_01: So, um, domestic slaves, if you don't all know, they are submissives who like to take on a slave role.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: So they have a submissive personality.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: In that sense, they are people who like to please.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: Most submissives, with all the different facets at their core, want to please.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: And they love nothing more than being told they've done a good job and they want to be useful.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's most subs.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: Get the old bratty one, but even they want to be needed and they brat because they want the attention.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_01: Bit of psychology there.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I couldn't deal with that.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I can't be dealing with brats.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_01: I like black and white, so I can't be asked this mind game for it.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so that that's why that's why people like you know, that's what submissives are like.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_01: They want to please.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: So a domestic slave, that's but they want to be useful for you.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: They want to be your slave.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: In the sense of you do this, this, this, and this in a perfect way to my standards, etc.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then at the end of it, they'll be praised or whatever.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they're not praised, but most of them do it for praise.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: And they like to wear things while they're doing it.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: They like to be in the presence of a dominant household person or whatever.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: They like to feel, they feel like they're in the aura of something, and they're they're keeping their the little palace tidy, you know.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_03: Just like a little puppy.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_01: They're just somebody who um they worship the dominant, male or female, they enjoy being in their surroundings, tending to their things, ensuring that their domain is clean and tidy, pleasing master or mistress, and getting the nice feels when Master Mr.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: says they've done a really good job.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: And they might not get any other reward from that.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: They might just be told, great job.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_01: And for many, that's enough.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_01: You've all seen my reaction to good girl, you know, in the right context.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a fucking pool.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: Jimmy said fucking good girl to you in the latest day release.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_01: Day release went out last week.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: I can't really say much about exactly what happened.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh, I'm not live, but you know, to the masses, you'll guess.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: But we did the day release in a certain way.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_01: What was my point?
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: What was I say before?
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: Good girl.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, and Jimmy called me a good girl.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he went, You but you're a good girl, and I went.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I was looking at the microphone, I was looking at the mixer, everywhere but Jimmy.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_01: And when I looked back, he was like, uh this big stupid girl in his face that just melted us.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_01: We weren't on camera, we were audio only.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: But I actually said to the listeners, I went, I can't look at anywhere right now, I'm looking at everywhere but Jim.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_03: Fantastic.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_03: I called you I called you a good girl downstairs, so I hope you didn't take that that way.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's how you say you.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_03: That's all right then.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's how you say it.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_03: That's all right then.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so that's the whole thing of a domestic slave.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: So a little bit of background for you, and uh, it's actually quite a nice way um to submissive.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: Some people like a little bit of beaten round as well, so some submissives will be a little bit feisty and they might they might miss a spot.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: So they'll get a spanking or a paddling or locked away.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: They do that on purpose.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: They do it on purpose.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um sometimes, well, usually that's consented, so it's part of their dynamic.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_01: So they know that they'll there'll be something missed, yeah, and mistress will find it and she'll punish for missing that spot.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_03: So cute, isn't it?
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean it's right.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then when they've done it, then they'll get a reward, but reminder not to do that again and disappoint mistress because you're a good boy, and yeah, I know you want to please mistress, that kind of thing, you know.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_02: Say that again.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was doing this to to Ty at our school of kink.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Tyler was my bunny for our classes.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't want a bunny, it's like a muse, an assistant.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_01: And for the first time I went right off and went, and I held his ears and I went, you're a good boy.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, oh my god.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he pissed on the spot.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_01: And he does a said cute little thing where he wags his bum when he's excited and happy.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_01: And you're a good boy, he went fucking brilliant.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, I'm feeling right off.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on it.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: So, how where'd you start with all this?
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: So it is going on forums like Fat Life.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um obviously be careful on these forums, don't put any personal details on there.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, don't arrange anything online immediately.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you you know, if you do have these conversations with people and you're you know trying to arrange this sort of domestic servitude, meet in a coffee shop first, you know, middle ground or maybe take somebody with you if you're a bit unsure.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, 100%.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um especially if you're female, um, and just go from there.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a race, this is a journey, and all this is part of the journey to keep you safe at the end of the day.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: But fat life is where it starts, that's where most of us hide, that's where we all lurk, and uh it's where most of us, dominants, are looking for people to you know provide domestic services.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: There are some clubs out there who enjoy bringing in domestic slaves to help clean their venues, um, but we didn't at Townhouse because we are meticulous.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we were, I'm not polished anymore.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: I keep saying this, you know.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: We were meticulous.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I mean, Jim's actually still clean there at the moment.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_01: Does he?
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and um we wouldn't bring somebody in just to do some domestic services because it wouldn't be done properly.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'd just be getting beat or something.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's also hard work as well, isn't it?
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_01: Very hard work.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_01: It'd probably take about 10 slaves to do it properly, to be honest.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'd just be beaten on black and blue because it'd be done shit, it wouldn't be done to the right standards.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_01: So Jim does it.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um so yes, that's that's where you'd start.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_01: Fat life, and you you can always approach clubs.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's not a journey, it's not a race, like I say, and um learn more about it, have these conversations, find find the right person to serve, don't take the first opportunity that arises.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_03: So, do dominatrix then do they approach subs as well?
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes there's groups on Fat Life, uh personal type groups where they'll um advertise, you know, like a wanted type column, you know, services needed.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you'll see um um dominatrix asking for domestic servitude, and they'll put the terms on there as well, you know, how often, for how long, what you need to wear, if you get anything in return, if it's transport provided, that kind of thing.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like a proper job advert, basically, but it's not paid.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: You might get something in return, you know.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_03: Right, so it's like if they're not looking for a client, then they're just looking for someone to do this with.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_01: Some subs do pay to be a domestic serve uh servant sleeve because that is part of their kink.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_03: But also they know they're gonna be safe as well.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's a professional service, and for that hour that they're paying for, they'll do what they need to do and then they'll walk away.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: There's no long-term commitments, there's no extra.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_03: That's what they want out of it rather than what they want to do.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's all they want, and they haven't got the time to commit to a weekly thing or whatever, so they pay.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because it gets them off for that time, they get called at a good boy, a little bit of a whack around, maybe, yeah, and they go home, and that's it.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: But some people want a longer-term relationship, so it just depends on what you all want.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_01: But you can find all that in fat life, and um, it's a really nice way to submit as well, because you know you can get that punishment in there as well if that's part of your dynamic.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's a really nice sort of um service reward without too much um mind fuckery, discipline, hard BDSM.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to go.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_03: Have you had anyone like that?
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_01: We've had people in the club, uh, Ricarda, quite liked doing domestic servitude, really shit at it.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_01: Really shit, that's my ex sub.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: Really shit.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I'm not doing that again.
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_01: Even the hoovering was shit.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: Put some fucking elbow grease into it for God's sake, half horse, whilst talking to me.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, sorry for these questions because this fascinates me, and I'm sure it's fascinating everyone else as well.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_03: But um, so when when someone's sort of like doing the hoovering, right, you've actually got to have it to your standard.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_03: You're not just sort of like playing with them in terms of like do the hoovering, they can see through that, can they, if you're faking it.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it depends on you on what sort of scene you want.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I have had scenes where people have done domestic services, and as part of the role play that we've agreed to, they will purposely get it wrong.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I'll chase them around the broom or whatever, and you know, all that kind of thing.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_01: But most people, because they want that gratitude and all do it how you say they'll do it exactly as you want because they want to please you, and they'll check with you.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, so it depends what you want, what the dynamic is.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um there's different levels of it, and I've done both.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_01: So if I was one, you know, it was almost like faulty towers, you know, getting it really wrong, chasing them around with the mop and all that kind of thing, you know, grab the mop, chase them around, whack them around.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but then you know, like Ricardo, he did want to do a good job and just couldn't do a good job.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: It was really, really shiss.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, there's some subs who'll do it, and then is this to your standard?
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_01: It can I can I improve?
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um we've had people um polishing things before today, pewter and all, is that okay?
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_01: I can't see your face in it, do better.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_01: That kind of thing.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, sometimes uh after a domestic servitude session, um, they will make you a cup of tea or serve afternoon tea to the dominant, and they will get on the floor um and crouch down.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_01: So like a table to put your your tray on, or you put your feet on them while you have a conversation.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_01: So domestic servitude isn't just cleaning for some, yeah, it's servitude in its entirety.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_01: See, so if I if you haven't got a table, mistress, I'll be your table.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_03: You are you are their control you you have total control.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_03: Right, got it.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_01: So some people really like being part of that little dynamic to be useful.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_03: Going to how you imagine the slaves in ancient Egypt being.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and they uh they admire their dominant, they want to do a good job.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: Their dominant deserves this level of servitude because she works hard, she's this, she's whatever.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of a lot of domestic servants um slaves they do put the dominance on a pedestal.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: I want to do this to maintain your reputation, this unscrupulous um unscrupulous, fucking hell, uh immaculate house.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna maintain these standards for you, mistress.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's what you deserve.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_03: They're loving their mistress rather than hating them because they're making them do this.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_03: Which is what a normal slave would have.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_01: So you've got this wide spectrum of people who, like you say, will pay for an hour, do what they need to do, get beaten around a little bit, and that's it.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right up to the other side of the spectrum where people have long-term agreements.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying a relationship in a loving sense or even a friendship sense, it's a professional relationship between dominant and domestic slave, and it on a it can be very long term over years, and of course, they'll build up a friendship.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I know some people that have done this, and outside of the house they'll meet and can have food and all that on the level, there's no DS in that at all, um, dominant submissive, but in the house they do, and there's a mutual respect because you know there's a service being provided by both people, and it works really, really nice, really nice.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_01: So there's much more to domestic service than most people think, and uh, I really like this question that it's been short and sweet because it's opened up a much wider conversation.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_01: But the easy answer is fat life.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: But like I said at the very beginning, protect yourself while you're on these forums.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, 100% no personal details, don't be meeting in the house the first time.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_03: If you're a female, go tell someone where you're going as well.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, you know, have a little like safe ring, all that kind of thing.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_01: Be sensible, yeah, yeah.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_01: You might be desperately want this experience, but you know, not at the detriment of your life.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_03: So go to a club, like because don't you have a night at or didn't you have a night at townhouse where people could just come along and learn and yes, yeah.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_01: We have all that, yeah.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um and there's there's certain events, you know, where there's one called obey, which is very servitude.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's not necessarily domestic, it's very um what's it?
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_01: High protocol.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_01: High protocol.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_01: High protocol.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_01: So high protocol is that you know you always stay in your role as submissive and and you will not speak unless you're spoken to.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_01: If somebody comes to you and addresses you, you may speak and look up.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_01: If they don't, then you keep your eyes down, you don't speak.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so servitude can be part of that.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_01: So if somebody selects you for the night, they may ask you to role play and do this, that, and the other for the night.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_01: So that can be it's not always like that at a bae, but that is an event where that sort of thing can happen.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_01: It can happen at any event.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_01: But that's a nice protocol event where you can maybe experiment in what it's like to change that mindset into complete servitude for a night.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_01: You've been selected to serve me for the night, and you look at me when I tell you you you will address me when I address you first.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of a nice little mindset.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I think it is.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean if you're into that thing, I mean I my problem is if I'm gonna get my hoover and done, I'll do whatever it takes, mate.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm starting to think if he wants to come around and he can do mine, but but I I don't think I could take orders from anyone like that.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm too independent.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_03: I I do what I want to do.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's funny because I always said that in very obviously very strong worlds and very independent, fiery at times.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_01: However, when I found my little submissive side with Jim, um when I've bottomed, um so again, bottom in in the gay world is different to the BDSM world.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna always see you look and I like that going bottom.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna see your eyes like that.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, when I've bottomed, which basically means I will take what's given to me, but you know, I'm not gonna submit to you, I'm not gonna kneel and you're you're my goddess and all that.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_01: Whack me around because I like the feeling, I like the hormones, but I'm not gonna call you mistress or whatever.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_01: Submissing is a bit a bit more, so you take all that and you take on that submissive persona, so you're slightly down the pecking order if you like, and you will take instruction.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I didn't think I'd ever be able to do that.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_01: And Jim is the only person I've done it with and will ever do.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_01: And there's one nice, and he texts me.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know it was gonna happen.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right, I'm on my way home, and I want you to do this, and then go and get that, put this on the bed, put this on and get this ready for me, wherever it was.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like that.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_03: Straight away, you know.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll be home in about I think it was about an hour.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, an hour?
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I was right in the middle of something, and you know when I'm like with my work?
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_01: When I'm into my work, nothing gets in my way.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, a fucking laptop got shut, that got launched, and I was I run round that house and I sat to like shower shave and everything, you know, all that.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, fucking hell, and we're gonna get it done.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I heard Jim's car pulling up just as I was getting myself in the position that you wanted me to get into as he arrived.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, so he knew.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like that.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_01: And he was fucking walking around for ages, and I was like, is he gonna come in or what?
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_01: Is he like messing around with me or what?
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know whether he just he thought you wouldn't be ready or what, or wouldn't be in the position waiting for him.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_01: And he came and said, Oh, oh, you're ready, oh, good girl.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_04: And I went and that was it.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_01: So taking instruction, I wanted to, I was running round.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_01: Why in any other situation?
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_01: I would not do that.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but he gave his instructions immediately.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_01: Brain, hormones, excitement, adrenaline went, hey, what on?
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I was running round getting all the bits and bobs he wanted, and I was fucking sitting there ready for him when he came in.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly as he wanted, and I was like, good girl.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_01: Mars, isn't it?
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_01: Mars.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so we are gonna finish on a fetish factory.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, come on, shall I do the goats?
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, do the goats.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, we need It's almost like when you scream.
• 1:02:01
  unknown: Oh!
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_01: And when you fall after the curry.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_01: No, but it's the scream, it is a little bit shrinky, isn't it?
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's a it's a bit camp.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: The goat camp.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, I suppose, yeah.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right, anyway, fetish factories!
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_03: Right, okay, here we go.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know?
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_03: The muffin man.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_03: The muffin man?
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_03: Lives down Jeremy Lane.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that one.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's the one.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_01: That one.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_01: So do you know?
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_01: A three penny upright is it must be like a semi.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_03: No, then just because it's upright in there.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, it's three penny as well, so it's not quite four.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's not a pound, is it?
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_01: A half penny?
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, a three penny upright is a very quick one, again.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_01: Victorian slang.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_01: For a very cheap lower class street prostitute who gets banged against a wall, a three penny upright.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's what they call it.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_03: Pilari should have that, shouldn't it?
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_01: When you said that, I was like, I wish this fetish factoid was in the world.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh my god, that would be like when we did Pilari, obviously.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_03: That is a perfect Pilari word.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_03: Three penny upright.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_01: But that was a common saying.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_01: So um the guys would be like, yeah, I'm off for a three penny upright.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's basically the cheapest, worst lower class prostitute just bang them against a wall, a three penny upright.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's brilliant.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, not not the act of that, but the actual saying is just great.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_01: I bet you they'd be wording Mercins riddles with ice.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but we'd use that in the gay world, you know.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_03: Or where have you been, three penny upright?
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_03: Or just out in the club, you know, and it's like Well, there you go, you're welcome, you can use that.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, oh you can't, you're married.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_03: Well, do you know I think things have changed in on the gay scene as well because it used to be that you'd go into the pub and then you'd sort of like give someone the eye, maybe have a quick chat, and then next thing you know you're in the looes.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_03: Doesn't happen anymore.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I I've not had sex in the looze for we must be twenty five years.
• 1:04:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, but it's what used to happen.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_01: Garland's a little bit more prolific.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's a right of passage.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_01: Did you ever go to Garlands?
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, I mean it's closed now.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_01: But it was it's God, it's been around for so long.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I worked around the area when I was like 18 and it was it was going then.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_01: I did actually sneak in as well, I think that was about 16.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, big, big gay club, obviously, garlands.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know what, it had its moments over the years, thing went on fire at one point, had its drug problems like every other club.
• 1:04:31
  SPEAKER_03: Every club would.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it was mixed, it wasn't just a gay club, you know.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_01: This thing about gay clubs, somebody said, Can I go to a gay club?
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, you haven't just got to be gay to go to a gay club.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's like saying, Can I go to a jazz club even though I'm not into jazz?
• 1:04:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it's a club where gay people like to mix, but we are friends with other people too.
• 1:04:53
  SPEAKER_03: But you've also got to expect to see things that you've got.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_01: If you're cool with that, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_01: Come on in, come on in.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_01: I had a point, what's my point?
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_01: Keep losing my point.
• 1:05:03
  SPEAKER_03: We're talking about the fetish factoid.
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_01: Shagging in toilets.
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_03: Shagging in toilets, but the fetish.
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_03: Garlands! Garlands.
• 1:05:11
  SPEAKER_03: There we go.
• 1:05:11
  SPEAKER_01: We need to stop, don't we?
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, in Garlands, there was um unisex toilets, and uh people often shagging in the toilets in there.
• 1:05:21
  SPEAKER_03: Often always, always.
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_01: And there was an attendant, um, and they did allow two in the toilet, but if you're in there a while, they'd be banging on the doors.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, get out.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_03: But they knew what was going on in there.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:05:33
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes obviously always a queue.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_01: Guys, especially, they'd be like, get your eye on the queue.
• 1:05:39
  SPEAKER_01: Already very, very near.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_01: So by the time they got into the soil, it didn't take fucking long.
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'd only just wipe myself and they'd finished and got out and wiped them out and everything.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_01: They were quick.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, you have to be.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, in case of attendant comes from.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_03: Plus you were conscious that there was a queue behind you, and there's lots of other people that want the queue.
• 1:05:59
  SPEAKER_01: And also the toilets and garlands, they were open.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_01: So it wasn't like some toilets was like a little bit of a wall, and then you look around the wall and there's a big long route.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_01: No, these toilets are there and the queues there, so you know who's gone into what toilets and how long.
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_01: If you need to piss, you're timing how long fucking Dick and John have just gone into that toilet for they're shagging, get them out, and pissing.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I miss those days.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_01: When toilets just used to stink of bleach and spunk.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_01: And good times when you were there, Papa's on that Poppas Good Times bombshell.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna go.
• 1:06:42
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to do the thing?
• 1:06:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I can do if you want.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen it.
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_03: I know I've got a lot to live up now, haven't I?
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_03: So if you binge watching, put the kettle on.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_03: We'll see you in five.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_03: If not, see you next week.
• 1:06:53
  SPEAKER_01: Woohoo! See you next time.
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_01: Bye! Coming up next time on the Path and Sell podcast.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's just so hellish.
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_01: I've gotta sell it again.
• 1:07:03
  SPEAKER_01: Do all guys want a bigger dick?
• 1:07:05
  SPEAKER_01: Some people judge these sorts of kinks, you know, it's weird.
• 1:07:08
  SPEAKER_01: When you see a close erect, it does look like a little penis.
• 1:07:13
  SPEAKER_01: It was the milk.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_01: It was the milk.
• 1:07:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, the trauma from that.
• 1:07:20
  SPEAKER_01: The whole fucking shag.
• 1:07:22
  SPEAKER_01: He was forever battling with his penis.
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen it all.
• 1:07:25
  SPEAKER_01: I could write a fucking boot.
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_01: And there we have it! Another day made better by listening to the creators of chaos.
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for dropping by, and if you enjoyed the show, we'd really appreciate your show and you love the Panthercell Podcast with your friends.
• 1:07:42
  SPEAKER_01: Don't forget to give us a follow on our socials, maybe leave us some five-star reviews, and feel free to send us an email to magic at the pathasellpodcast.co.uk or even interact us on Facebook because we love chatting to you.
• 1:07:56
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure to stop by next week because as Bowie says, I don't know where I'm going next, but I promise it will be bottom.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_01: Catch you soon.