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What Healthy Masculine Leadership Looks and Feels Like · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  I've oftentimes said that a lot of women wouldn't know what a healthy man was if he was standing right in front of her, and it's with very good reason.
• 0:40
  A lot of women have been confused about what masculinity actually is.
• 0:44
  A lot of men have also been confused about what healthy masculinity actually is.
• 0:49
  So a lot of women are going out here dating, and they don't even know what to look for.
• 0:53
  And when they don't know what to really look for in terms of value and character, then oftentimes they default to very surface level things like,"I just want him to pay all my bills." In which case, they will excuse a lot of red flags because they're just looking at a man's bank account.
• 1:08
  So in this video, we're going to be talking about what healthy masculine leadership looks like and feels like.
• 1:15
  And this is based on my experience of being with a healthy masculine man who runs multiple businesses and is the head of the household, and manifesting this man after I was hyper-independent and perpetually single for 15 years, and having to learn the truth about men.
• 1:32
  And realizing that a lot of what we've been told in modern society about men and toxic masculinity and all these other things just aren't true.
• 1:41
  Just aren't true, or it's a lot of things that have been twisted and warped over time and it's, it's left a lot of us very confused.
• 1:48
  Hi, my name is Amanda.
• 1:49
  Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 1:56
  If that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
• 2:03
  Also, make sure to give this video a like and a thumbs up because it lets YouTube know that it can put it in front of more women like you who are looking for this kind of information in this crazy topsy-turvy world that we are living in.
• 2:15
  And if you're new here or if you haven't done this already, I teach from a place of four archetypes.
• 2:20
  I talk about the wounded maiden, the awakening warrior, the conscious queen, the magnetic empress.
• 2:25
  These are four stages of consciousness, four stages of manifestation, four stages of a woman going from false feminine to true feminine.
• 2:33
  And, you might get confused if you hear me saying these things and you're not really understanding what they are.
• 2:38
  Well, I have a gift for you, and that is make sure to take our free quiz on the archetypes that I teach because it will let you know which archetype is most dominant for you and how those patterns are playing out in your life, and it will also help you follow along if I start talking about these different archetypes.
• 2:58
  So you can go to mindfulsuccesspath.com/quiz.
• 3:01
  It's three minutes long, and you'll get your free assessment, and then you'll be able to follow along a lot easier.
• 3:06
  So here's the thing that a lot of women need to realize and reconcile.
• 3:10
  A lot of women have an internal conflict, and the internal conflict is that I would say that most modern women, not on this channel, because on this channel we've got a lot of conscious queens and magnetic empresses when they take the quiz.
• 3:22
  But the world in general I would say is either wounded maiden or awakening warrior, and these are the first two stages of consciousness.
• 3:30
  And I would say that most modern women, especially in Western countries, are what I would call the awakening warrior.
• 3:36
  Now, the awakening warrior needs to have control.
• 3:38
  The awakening warrior is afraid of a man making her smaller.
• 3:41
  The awakening warrior is trying to protect herself.
• 3:44
  That's the downside.
• 3:45
  The upside of the awakening warrior is that she takes responsibility for her life.
• 3:49
  Now, the reason why we have a lot of awakening warriors in the Western world is because a lot of women saw their mothers and grandmothers actually be wounded maidens and wounded maidens are basically the victim of the people around them.
• 4:02
  They are the ones who end up with very controlling men.
• 4:05
  They are the ones who don't take responsibility for their own lives.
• 4:08
  So in fighting against that, a lot of women became awakening warriors, which is a step up, but then we start getting into some problems.
• 4:17
  And the problems that we start getting into is, number one, a lot of women start over-identifying with masculine energy themselves so what happens is that they go out into the dating scene, and they find themselves attracting very passive men.
• 4:31
  They find themselves being, um, a a victim of the sassy man epidemic that we have going on on the internet right now, or some...
• 4:41
  One of you called them the zesty men, right?
• 4:43
  We got a lot of the sassy and zesty men out in the world right now.
• 4:47
  Um, and usually it's the awakening warriors who tend to attract those kinds of men.
• 4:53
  Or for example, we have women who are exhausted.
• 4:55
  We have women with adrenal fatigue, thyroid problems, women who feel like they have to control everything.
• 5:00
  They can't relax.
• 5:01
  Hi.
• 5:01
  Hello.
• 5:02
  That was me for a really long time.
• 5:05
  So we start seeing some issues in relationships and also some other areas of in our lives because we start over-identifying with masculine energy.
• 5:12
  The other thing that sometimes happens with the awakening warriors is they just don't understand men, and they certainly don't understand healthy masculine behavior, perhaps because they never saw it in their own lives, or perhaps because that's the programming that they got from society and whatever wave of feminism we're on now that has gone to the extreme, in the other direction.
• 5:37
  And a big part of what I like to talk about in this channel number one, polarity in relationships.
• 5:42
  Right?
• 5:42
  So what is polarity?
• 5:43
  Polarity is the force that attracts two people together.
• 5:47
  And in heterosexual relationships, the way that it has been shown to work the best is when a man is holding a healthy masculine pole and a woman is holding a healthy feminine pole.
• 5:58
  What do I mean by healthy?
• 6:00
  Well, the true masculine instead of the false masculine, and the true feminine instead of the false feminine.
• 6:06
  Another way in which we can say this is the mature masculine instead of the immature masculine, or the mature feminine instead of the immature feminine.
• 6:16
  And those four stages that I teach of divine feminine energy, that's what it is.
• 6:20
  It lets you know where you are on the spectrum between false feminine and true feminine, where you are on the stage of immaturity to maturity, where you are on the stages of consciousness.
• 6:31
  And maturity has nothing to do with age, by the way.
• 6:34
  My husband and I live in an area where there's a lot of retired people from the United States and Canada, like 60s and 70s, and a lot of them still act like children, okay?
• 6:42
  So it has nothing to do with age.
• 6:46
  I just wanted to clarify that.
• 6:48
  So that's essentially what it means.
• 6:50
  And a lot of times when women are in this awakening warrior stage, they don't know what a healthy, masculine, mature man looks like, so they just default into thinking that any masculine behavior is toxic, or they default into thinking that any masculine behavior is bad and it's true.
• 7:08
  Like women have been treated like second-class citizens all over the world for a very long time.
• 7:13
  So it's not like these women who are awakening warriors are saying this because they're making things up.
• 7:19
  They're not making things up.
• 7:21
  But the key is understanding the difference between a healthy man and an unhealthy man.
• 7:26
  So let's start getting into what healthy masculine leadership actually looks like Number one, it feels clear so healthy masculine men, they communicate with clear intention.
• 7:39
  You know exactly where he stands.
• 7:41
  Here's an example.
• 7:42
  A lot of women will make the mistake when they're dating, that they will ask a man,"Where is this relationship going?" Girl, number one, that's already putting you in the masculine pole, and number two, it doesn't work.
• 7:53
  And number three, a healthy masculine man is not going to leave you in the dark.
• 7:58
  He is going to tell you, okay?
• 8:01
  Ask any woman who is with a healthy masculine man, and she will tell you,"He pursued me.
• 8:07
  I knew what his intentions were from the beginning, and he's always communicated very clearly with me on where we stand, where we're going, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera." Men who are too much in feminine energy, they're, like, wishy-washy.
• 8:20
  They're like,"Oh, let me see how I feel about it.
• 8:23
  Let me see, uh, where things go.
• 8:25
  Well, you know..." And then they, like, make excuses, right?
• 8:28
  A healthy masculine man is clear and direct in his communication.
• 8:32
  Now, here's the thing, right?
• 8:34
  You, as a woman, sometimes may not like clear and direct communication.
• 8:40
  In fact, you may find it, uh, confronting, um, in a way because we as women, when we are immature, we've picked up manipulation as a survival tactic because we've been treated, poorly and as second-class citizens.
• 8:53
  So sometimes when a man is direct, and I've seen this in the comment section, where a woman is like,"Well, I can't get him to express all his feelings to me.
• 9:03
  He just goes to solve problems." That's really common for a healthy man to do.
• 9:08
  Now, I'm not saying that men should not know how to express their feelings or regulate themselves in a healthy way, but you cannot expect a a man, especially a healthy one, to communicate with you the same way that a woman would.
• 9:23
  And the big mistake that a lot of women these days make is that they try to relate to men as if men are also women, and they're not.
• 9:30
  They just don't understand the difference.
• 9:32
  So healthy men, they're gonna let you know.
• 9:35
  They're very clear in their communication.
• 9:37
  They know where they're going.
• 9:38
  They know where you stand, and they will tell you.
• 9:41
  They're not going to leave you in the dark.
• 9:43
  Another example of this is, when my husband and I had been dating for about three months...
• 9:48
  Mind you, we were long distance.
• 9:50
  We were in different countries, right?
• 9:52
  And we'd been dating for three months.
• 9:53
  My husband was already like,"I don't wanna date anybody else.
• 9:57
  I just want you.
• 9:57
  I wanna be committed to you.
• 9:59
  You don't, you don't have to do the same.
• 10:01
  I understand if you wanna keep dating and things like that.
• 10:03
  I'm just letting you know what my intentions are with you." Pretty simple, right?
• 10:10
  Before I came to Mexico, the intentions were pretty clear.
• 10:13
  He was planning on marrying me, right?
• 10:16
  He knew, right?
• 10:17
  He was, he was clear with his intentions.
• 10:20
  Men who are not healthy would not do that, right?
• 10:23
  They're very wishy-washy.
• 10:25
  They're very in their feelings all the time, and they're like,"Let me see how I feel about it." Healthy masculine men, they're decisive and they communicate that Now, healthy masculine leadership also feels like it's responsible so one of the things that I noticed about my husband off the bat that I was like,"Okay, green flag," was the fact that every time my husband said he was going to do something, he did it.
• 10:50
  So there's follow-through.
• 10:52
  They do what they say they're going to do.
• 10:54
  They communicate what they're going to do, and if for whatever reason they're unable to do it, they s- still communicate that with you.
• 11:02
  They don't leave you in the dark.
• 11:04
  There's also a sense of responsibility.
• 11:06
  Let me give you like a really basic example, right?
• 11:08
  Of what responsibility, uh, might sound like in a healthy man.
• 11:12
  So my husband recently built the entire security system for our, uh, street in the condo association because my husband sees it as his responsibility to protect me, protect his home, protect his family, and he's like,"Well, I'll just protect all the neighbors, too." You know?
• 11:31
  So he actually, um, spoke with the association where we live, and he's like,"I'll build the whole system." Like, he built the app, he set up the cameras, all that kind of stuff.
• 11:40
  So that would be an example of a man taking responsibility.
• 11:44
  Or another example of a man taking responsibility is, um, in my husband, for example, where he's at his office right now.
• 11:52
  His-- Or his office is in a plaza, right?
• 11:55
  And my husband pretty quickly took on the responsibility of being the president of the plaza.
• 11:59
  He did not appoint himself.
• 12:01
  He was voted in, right?
• 12:02
  And he's taken that role very seriously.
• 12:05
  So for example, we just discovered bees, on the roof in the plaza.
• 12:09
  Well, my husband's taking responsibility.
• 12:11
  He's getting the problem solved.
• 12:12
  So healthy men solve problems.
• 12:15
  They take responsibility for solving problems.
• 12:18
  They almost see like it's their duty to do that, and they gain a lot of confidence from doing that as well.
• 12:25
  Many of you are tired of being with men who dump all the problems on you.
• 12:29
  So what you wanna look for, and you know that this is healthy masculine leadership, is a man who knows how to solve problems, and a man who takes responsibility for his life, and a man who takes responsibility for the people that he feels like he is protecting Healthy masculine leadership also includes your reality so this is where a lot of, like, the awakening warriors or women who are afraid of men get it wrong.
• 12:52
  A lot of the awakening warriors or women who are afraid of men or feel like they need to protect themselves from men because they don't wanna be a wounded maiden, where they get it wrong, and we start going into diminishing returns, is they think that if they allow a man to lead, that he is not going to take her into account.
• 13:10
  An unhealthy man would not care about your opinion, okay?
• 13:14
  A healthy man is going to ask you for your opinion.
• 13:19
  A healthy man is going to value your intelligence, your input, and your reality.
• 13:26
  Ultimately, he is still going to make the decision at the end of the day that he thinks is best, but he's definitely going to gather and collect data from you, and he's going to take that into account when it comes to his decision-making.
• 13:39
  And that's okay, and that's fine, and I trust my husband to make decisions, and you should probably trust the person that you marry, right?
• 13:47
  You should probably trust them.
• 13:49
  And this is why it's so important that when you're dating, and I've talked about this in so many videos and trainings, like, you have to make sure that everybody's on the same page in terms of values, and you need to make sure that you actually trust the person.
• 14:02
  And here's the thing, healthy masculine men, through their leadership, show that they can be trusted.
• 14:08
  They show that they can make good decisions.
• 14:10
  They show that they will protect you.
• 14:12
  They show that they will honor you.
• 14:13
  They show that they have follow-through, and they will do what they say that they're going to do.
• 14:17
  They show that they have integrity.
• 14:19
  Healthy men do that.
• 14:20
  Unhealthy men either don't do that at all because they want to control you, or they're very passive.
• 14:27
  And the passive ones just dump all the decisions on you, which eventually is going to exhaust you as a woman because we don't respond to it the same way.
• 14:37
  Our nervous systems do not respond to it the same way.
• 14:41
  So over time, that's going to exhaust us.
• 14:43
  It does not mean that we as women cannot make decisions.
• 14:46
  It's just going to exhaust us if it all falls on us.
• 14:50
  On men, it's different.
• 14:52
  Right?
• 14:52
  On men, the more that they overcome challenges and solve problems, the more confident they become.
• 14:58
  So we just respond to these situations differently.
• 15:02
  And I oftentimes say on this channel, what you have to learn how to do is respect each other's strengths and differences and when you learn how to do that, and you learn how to work together, you have a more harmonious relationship, and you manifest like crazy.
• 15:16
  But conversation for another time.
• 15:18
  Healthy masculine leadership also protects without possessing now what exactly does that mean?
• 15:25
  Because a lot of women mistakenly default into thinking that any time he's trying to protect you, he's trying to control you and possess you.
• 15:34
  So let's talk about the difference When he's protecting you, you feel cared for, not monitored.
• 15:41
  When he's protecting you, you still have your dignity and your freedom intact.
• 15:46
  So let me go back to this example of the cameras, right?
• 15:50
  So my husband put, uh, the camera system and the security system for the entire street on our block because he wants to have some level of control.
• 15:59
  He wants to know who is coming in and out of the street.
• 16:02
  He wants to know, um, who has access to the gate.
• 16:06
  He wants to be able to control the security access, uh, to the gate so it's only people who are supposed to be in here that are in here.
• 16:14
  He's not using these cameras to, like, keep an eye on me, for example, and make sure that I can't go anywhere, that he needs to know what I'm doing 24/7 through the camera system.
• 16:25
  Do you understand the difference?
• 16:27
  Do you see the difference?
• 16:28
  Healthy masculine men do want control to a certain degree.
• 16:32
  They want control because control allows them to protect you, when they become controlling and possessive is where we actually start running into problems, but healthy masculine men have control, and you want them to have control.
• 16:47
  Otherwise, guess what?
• 16:48
  It's all falling on you, and you're going to get exhausted, or you're going to wonder why you keep having to mother your man or why your man feels like another child or why he's so passive And the other way that you know that you're dealing with a man who has healthy masculine leadership is that he respects your no he actually has mutual respect for you.
• 17:07
  What a concept.
• 17:08
  He actually has mutual respect for you.
• 17:10
  So for example, if you say no to something, he's going to take that into account.
• 17:16
  He's actually going to respect it.
• 17:18
  He's not going to try and override your boundaries.
• 17:20
  He's not going to try and manipulate you out of your boundaries.
• 17:24
  So here's, like, a really basic example that happens all the time when you guys are dating.
• 17:29
  Uh, let's say he wants to...
• 17:30
  A, a man wants to rush intimacy very quickly, right?
• 17:33
  And even good men are gonna rush it, and the reason why good men rush it, number one, they get excited, and number two, most women out here right now are very easily accessible.
• 17:41
  Um, so they're just like,"Well, I mean, if she lets me," I mean you know?
• 17:46
  It's just the truth.
• 17:46
  It's just the reality.
• 17:47
  But on this channel, we date with dignity again and if you saw the interview that I did with my husband where I was asking him a bunch of questions that you all had for my husband, um, I asked him what was different about me versus all the other women you dated,'cause my husband played the field for, like, 10 years, and he's like,"You had dignity.
• 18:05
  You respected yourself.
• 18:06
  You valued yourself." So if you learn how to do that, you already stand out from the sea of basic average women, um, that are out here.
• 18:14
  But back to the point, the example that I was going to give is, like, let's say a man tries to rush intimacy while you're dating.
• 18:20
  A, a healthy man is going to respect the fact that you said no.
• 18:25
  He's gonna respect it.
• 18:26
  In fact, your respect just went up here, and he's like,"Wait a minute, this one's different." That's what a healthy man will do.
• 18:32
  An unhealthy man is going to try and manipulate you.
• 18:35
  An unhealthy man is gonna be like,"Oh, but come on.
• 18:38
  Like, we're already here." That's what an unhealthy man is going to try to do.
• 18:44
  A healthy man with healthy masculine leadership respects your no.
• 18:48
  He respects your boundaries.
• 18:50
  He respects, um, your decisions.
• 18:53
  He respects them, and he will take all of those things into account.
• 18:57
  He's not going to try and manipulate the situation, which is what an unhealthy man would do So here's an interesting exercise, because one of the things that I've noticed on this channel is that some of this information, because you guys have been, uh, watching a lot of other YouTube channels about dating and feminine energy and masculine energy, and all this kind of stuff, uh, most other YouTube channels don't go that deep into it.
• 19:18
  It's still very surface level.
• 19:20
  So I will still get a lot of very surface level questions in the comment section, which is fine, right?
• 19:25
  But what we do on this channel is we go deeper.
• 19:27
  So a lot of women are asking themselves the question, is he dominant enough?
• 19:32
  Is he man enough, right?
• 19:34
  That's what they're actually asking him, and then they're looking for all these sort of like outside indicators or markers that show he's dominant enough.
• 19:42
  So like for example, she might be like,"Well, he goes to the gym every day and makes a lot of money, so he must be really dominant." But then they're missing the fact that he doesn't do what he says he's going to do, or that he doesn't honor her boundaries.
• 19:54
  So we actually need to go deeper.
• 19:56
  We need to go a lot deeper into this conversation.
• 19:59
  So here's the actual question that I want you to ask yourself Does his leadership increase truth, safety, responsibility, and mutual respect?
• 20:09
  That's what you actually want to be asking yourself, not only looking up surface level things, which is what a lot of you are doing.
• 20:17
  So I hope you found this video to be incredibly helpful.
• 20:20
  If you did, please give it a thumbs up and share it with a girlfriend.
• 20:24
  Thank you so much for giving me your time today.
• 20:26
  You can find all the resources, all the classes that we have available in the description below.
• 20:31
  Make sure to take the quiz if you haven't done so already, and I will catch you on the next one.