Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Best of The Ben Maller Show
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- 0:00Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the best of the Ben Mahler
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- 0:24Speaker 2: This is the best of the Ben Mahler Show on
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- 0:32Speaker 1: A wary Jerry, Welcome in the beginning of another hour
- 0:40Speaker 1: of the Ben Mahler Show. We are in the air
- 0:44Speaker 1: evrewear talk mates as we use the language of enjoyment coastuckcoast,
- 0:51Speaker 1: border to border and beyond on the vast and gigantically
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- 1:08Speaker 1: world famous Fox Sports Radio studios as Auto Bond Butch knows.
- 1:13Speaker 1: This hour made possible by our friends at tire Rack.
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- 1:34Speaker 1: And Robbie the Mariner fan is shouting from the upper
- 1:37Speaker 1: balcony says, can you tell me about DraftKings? Yes, I can, Robbie.
- 1:41Speaker 1: This show is sponsored by DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports
- 1:45Speaker 1: betting partner of the NFL and NBA. I know Justin
- 1:48Speaker 1: in Cincinnati likes that right. Now, use the promo code Mallory,
- 1:53Speaker 1: claim your special offer at DraftKings. Again, that's promo code
- 1:55Speaker 1: Malor at DraftKings. The crown is yours. Now, I fully
- 2:01Speaker 1: admit this is low hanging fruit, and I believe that
- 2:04Speaker 1: low hanging fruit is the most delicious fruit. Thus I'm
- 2:07Speaker 1: going to take a bite of the forbidden fruit, the
- 2:11Speaker 1: low hanging forbidden fruit. We go to Dallas. How about
- 2:14Speaker 1: them Cowboys? Now? The Cowboys eliminated from playoff consideration over
- 2:17Speaker 1: the weekend, the Philadelphia Eagles taking care of business there
- 2:21Speaker 1: against Washington. It was a struggle for a while. The Chargers, though,
- 2:25Speaker 1: went out and molly wopped the Cowboys on side. It
- 2:29Speaker 1: was a beatdown in Jerry's world, a standard fair these days,
- 2:33Speaker 1: which led to the man of the hour man of
- 2:38Speaker 1: the hour, giving a truth bomb, well kind of giving
- 2:41Speaker 1: a truth bomb. If you didn't see this, perhaps not
- 2:43Speaker 1: Jerry Jones, the most powerful man in the NFL, Not
- 2:47Speaker 1: Roger get Deell, not anyone else. Jerry Jones. It's Jerry's
- 2:50Speaker 1: world after all. And Jerry was asked if the Cowboys
- 2:54Speaker 1: underachieved this season, and well, he didn't. He didn't tap
- 3:01Speaker 1: dance around. He answered the question. Here's Jerry Jones. Let's
- 3:04Speaker 1: take a listen, let's go to the audio tape, take
- 3:06Speaker 1: a list.
- 3:06Speaker 3: Yes, from what we expected, what we thought, absolutely we did.
- 3:11Speaker 3: We all underachieved, really and the fact we're not in
- 3:15Speaker 3: the playoffs says that for you. But I thought we've
- 3:21Speaker 3: done some things out there that frankly, we can carry
- 3:25Speaker 3: forward to us with us. It's always the case that
- 3:31Speaker 3: there are some positive things. The question is can we
- 3:35Speaker 3: make some changes where we need to. That's be pretty
- 3:40Speaker 3: thorough and multiple. A lot of multiplication there with the
- 3:44Speaker 3: way we played this year. But still they're positive things
- 3:48Speaker 3: are always are, And that's one of the things about
- 3:53Speaker 3: going in on coaches meeting and looking at film. If
- 3:56Speaker 3: you don't look out, you'll see positive things when you
- 4:00Speaker 3: they should be more critical to the negatives, and I
- 4:03Speaker 3: think you have to do that. You play the game
- 4:04Speaker 3: being Bob the gang.
- 4:06Speaker 1: Hey, Jerry, there's a forklift backing up. You might want
- 4:09Speaker 1: to get out of the way, Jerry, don't get your
- 4:10Speaker 1: run over by the forklift. All right, that's a good
- 4:12Speaker 1: jumping off points. So let us discuss the question. Who
- 4:15Speaker 1: is Jerry Jones specifically calling out in that rant about
- 4:20Speaker 1: the Cowboys underachieving? He was asked a leading question. He
- 4:23Speaker 1: did not He did not shy away from it. He
- 4:26Speaker 1: answered it. So he used the we we are all underachieving.
- 4:32Speaker 1: So my observation on this, I've got the Juilliard School,
- 4:36Speaker 1: magic eight ball, and farmer boys, and we will combine
- 4:41Speaker 1: all of these things together and we are going to
- 4:43Speaker 1: make macadamia nut white chocolate chip cookies is what we're
- 4:47Speaker 1: gonna make. Yum yum. To Mike tom tumb so number W.
- 4:56Speaker 1: Using Google Translate, they have a new each he can
- 5:00Speaker 1: now interpret what Jerry Jones means. So using Google Translate,
- 5:05Speaker 1: I am I'm pretty confident here, pretty confident that Jerry. Well,
- 5:11Speaker 1: he said, hey, we all underachieved. This was not a
- 5:15Speaker 1: blanket statement. It was actually a laser pointer at two people, right,
- 5:22Speaker 1: two people in particular, it was aimed right at Shoddy
- 5:27Speaker 1: who's naughty and Dak. Now, Jerry Jones went out and
- 5:31Speaker 1: fired the rotund Mike McCarthy because seven to ten was
- 5:37Speaker 1: not good enough, was not good enough. He then promoted
- 5:41Speaker 1: Brian Schottenheimer, the net bo baby, the sock puppet coach,
- 5:46Speaker 1: and he's like, Okay, we're gonna we're gonna be better now.
- 5:49Speaker 1: Jerry's the only one that thought they would be better.
- 5:52Speaker 1: So they went out there and they have this. They
- 5:55Speaker 1: have the same stale leftovers. Sands, the big defensive star
- 6:00Speaker 1: who they unloaded right before the regular season. Micah Parsons
- 6:04Speaker 1: now Dak Prescott, one of the all time great stat compilers. Right,
- 6:08Speaker 1: you look at the numbers. He leads the Cowboy franchise
- 6:11Speaker 1: all time in this category and that category. Oh my god,
- 6:14Speaker 1: you get a little chubby because he's so good, and
- 6:17Speaker 1: then you realize, well, when the moment matters, he turns
- 6:20Speaker 1: into a desert mirage. It looks good until you close,
- 6:24Speaker 1: until you get close, right fourth quarter, close game, and then.
- 6:27Speaker 4: Poof, poof, poof, poop, poop poof. Hocus pocus.
- 6:31Speaker 1: Now Vegas, we mentioned this in a previous episode of
- 6:34Speaker 1: the show at Bears repeating, so, Vegas had Dallas as
- 6:38Speaker 1: an eight ish win team, right around eight wins. They
- 6:42Speaker 1: are six and nine, and they have Washington and the
- 6:47Speaker 1: Giants up next. So if they win those, and the
- 6:51Speaker 1: Giants are the worst team in the NFL tie with
- 6:53Speaker 1: the Raiders right now, Washington is not much better. So
- 6:58Speaker 1: those are winnable games. Win those, and the Cowboys will
- 7:01Speaker 1: be who exactly they were supposed to be. They'll be
- 7:04Speaker 1: exactly where Vegas had them. They were right around eight
- 7:07Speaker 1: wins on the look ahead total for the season. And
- 7:12Speaker 1: may point out that Jerry Jones is not furious. He's not.
- 7:17Speaker 1: He took classes I'm convinced in his spare time at
- 7:20Speaker 1: the Juilliard School. Performance outrage is what this is. It's
- 7:25Speaker 1: cowboy football, loud complaints, soft fixes, the eternal underachievement theater
- 7:33Speaker 1: that is Jerry's world. And let's be honest, you, once
- 7:36Speaker 1: the season ends, that's when the Cowboys dominate. They will
- 7:40Speaker 1: dominate the headlines. The Cowboys are gonna make news. That's
- 7:44Speaker 1: what Jerry does. When he gets a little slow around there,
- 7:47Speaker 1: he stirs it up, and so he's gonna get into it.
- 7:50Speaker 1: Now one of the other people staying with Dallas page
- 7:52Speaker 1: two here, one of the other people who's got the
- 7:55Speaker 1: laser pointer pointed right at him. Following that loss to
- 7:59Speaker 1: the Chargers, Jerry Jones also was asked about defensive quardat
- 8:03Speaker 1: Matt Eberflus and his future and whatever decision he makes.
- 8:09Speaker 1: Jerry said, will not be difficult. That's what he said,
- 8:11Speaker 1: will not be difficult. I might not count it as difficult,
- 8:14Speaker 1: Jones said, regarding the future of Matt Eberflus, the former
- 8:19Speaker 1: NFL head coach now back as a defensive guru. He said,
- 8:24Speaker 1: quote Jerry Jones, it's certainly something that we have to do,
- 8:28Speaker 1: and that is to look at the entire year and
- 8:30Speaker 1: look at what our options are and how to correct it.
- 8:33Speaker 1: So we're not here at the same time next year,
- 8:36Speaker 1: which of course they will be. All right. Question, So
- 8:38Speaker 1: Jerry Jones says that the Cowboys decision on defensive coordinator
- 8:43Speaker 1: Matt Eberflu's future might not be difficult. So how does
- 8:47Speaker 1: that one hit you? How does that one? He did?
- 8:49Speaker 1: So that is Jerry speak for the guillotine is being sharpened.
- 8:55Speaker 1: The guillotine is being sharpened, the speech is being written,
- 9:00Speaker 1: his suits already dry, cleaned and ready to go for
- 9:03Speaker 1: the news conference. All right, because remember last week, Jerry
- 9:06Speaker 1: challenged Matt Eberflus to show something over the final three
- 9:10Speaker 1: games of the regular season. Eberflus responded, and they made
- 9:14Speaker 1: a big deal about this over the weekend. They said, well,
- 9:16Speaker 1: he's moving up to the booth. He's moving from the
- 9:18Speaker 1: sidelines to the booth. And that's the problems. He couldn't
- 9:21Speaker 1: see the field from the sideline. So now that Eberflus,
- 9:24Speaker 1: the defensive warding of the Cowboy's gonna go to the booth,
- 9:26Speaker 1: we're good to go. Okay, So fine, he'll go to
- 9:28Speaker 1: the booth and that's it. It's kind of like changing
- 9:32Speaker 1: hats while the building's on fire and the result. Cover
- 9:35Speaker 1: your eyes. The Chargers with Eberflus I in the sky
- 9:40Speaker 1: from the press box. The Chargers carved Dallas off for
- 9:43Speaker 1: four hundred and fifty two yards and thirty four points.
- 9:46Speaker 1: Four hundred and fifty two yards and thirty four points.
- 9:50Speaker 1: Justin Herbert played darts with the secondary and nearly eighty
- 9:54Speaker 1: percent completions, three hundred yards, passing, three touchdowns and apartures
- 9:59Speaker 1: pair tries. It was a bullseye, repeatedly, bullseye, bullseye, bullseye.
- 10:04Speaker 1: So what does all that mean? Now? We consulted with
- 10:09Speaker 1: a fool proof arbiter r one of the great judges
- 10:13Speaker 1: of our time, the magic eight ball. We consulted with
- 10:17Speaker 1: the magic gate ball. We said, all almighty, all powerful,
- 10:20Speaker 1: magic eate ball. We said, what does it look like
- 10:23Speaker 1: for the future of Matt Eberflus And we shook it,
- 10:27Speaker 1: We rattled, We rolled beside that magic eight ball, and
- 10:31Speaker 1: the magic eight ball said, outlook not so good. That's
- 10:36Speaker 1: what the magic gate ball said. This defense has been
- 10:39Speaker 1: a revolving door all season, a bunch of matadors ole
- 10:44Speaker 1: lay o, lay ole. Yeah, it's just great. So it's
- 10:47Speaker 1: a revolving door. You spin it and it spins all night.
- 10:50Speaker 1: The booth clearly did not help. So the Cowboys have
- 10:54Speaker 1: two games left. May I recommend that the Cowboys have
- 10:57Speaker 1: a drone over this over the stadium, the ebrew Flus drone,
- 11:04Speaker 1: and you can use the drone and see where everyone's
- 11:06Speaker 1: lined up on offense for the opposition. If that doesn't work,
- 11:11Speaker 1: you can go nineteen eighties style and bring back the
- 11:13Speaker 1: goodyear blimp and get in the blimp and then look
- 11:17Speaker 1: down from the blimp and call the defensive plays from
- 11:20Speaker 1: the blimp. If that does not work, I think you
- 11:22Speaker 1: get a small weather balloon. If that's more cost efficient
- 11:25Speaker 1: for Jerry's world. Just keep experimenting, Just keep experimenting. Something's
- 11:31Speaker 1: gonna work.
- 11:32Speaker 3: Now.
- 11:32Speaker 1: Jerry already decided this will not be difficult, So what's
- 11:37Speaker 1: the big deal. It's not gonna be difficult all right? Now,
- 11:38Speaker 1: final point to social media we go or this has
- 11:43Speaker 1: become a thing. The admins celebrating the win, the social
- 11:47Speaker 1: media team, the min admins. That's the word I'm looking
- 11:50Speaker 1: for for the Chargers there, they decide to have some fun,
- 11:53Speaker 1: so of course this becomes a thing. Oh my god,
- 11:56Speaker 1: I can't believe they did that. So first the Chargers
- 11:59Speaker 1: on their online platforms jokingly referenced the Cowboys we demn
- 12:04Speaker 1: boys slogan. Of course, Cowboys are very good at slogans.
- 12:09Speaker 1: Winning football games they're not good at, but they lead
- 12:12Speaker 1: the league in slogans. They're really good at that. We
- 12:14Speaker 1: demn Boys. So the Chargers had some fun with that.
- 12:16Speaker 1: Then in the holiday spirit, they edited a clip from
- 12:19Speaker 1: the four film The Polar Express, a classic piece of
- 12:23Speaker 1: cinema where the conductor punches an l on a ticket
- 12:27Speaker 1: for the Cowboys, and they finished up the troll buffet
- 12:32Speaker 1: with a meme depicting a Cowboys wearing Babushka insisting quote,
- 12:39Speaker 1: this is our year, and then the Babushka's granddaughter leading
- 12:44Speaker 1: her to bed mocking mocking Dallas fans perennial optimism. So
- 12:51Speaker 1: that was the trifect. Of course this ruffled. I don't
- 12:54Speaker 1: think this really offended anyone, but the perception is it
- 12:56Speaker 1: offended some people. So we'll just play along with it,
- 12:59Speaker 1: calling the bull it's class list and act like you've
- 13:01Speaker 1: been there before. What's wrong with you? Do not kick
- 13:04Speaker 1: the team while they're down, the Cowboys. So the question
- 13:08Speaker 1: did the Chargers mess with the football gods by poking fun?
- 13:16Speaker 1: Where they off base by poking fun at the Dallas Cowboy.
- 13:20Speaker 1: So let's stop pretending that this is somehow sacrilege. Can
- 13:22Speaker 1: we all do that? Thank you? Yeah? Yeah, please? You
- 13:26Speaker 1: know what that is. That's just what you're supposed to do.
- 13:28Speaker 1: The Charger didn't anger the football gods. They poke the Internet.
- 13:33Speaker 1: It's the internet, dummy, it's fake, it's the matrix, it's
- 13:36Speaker 1: all that. And the Internet poked back and that's what's
- 13:39Speaker 1: supposed to happen. The yen and the yang. There's a
- 13:42Speaker 1: big difference there. This wasn't blasphemy. It was called commerce.
- 13:46Speaker 1: It's called commerce. Social media is not a tabernacle. It's
- 13:50Speaker 1: not the church. It's not a temple. It's a carnival
- 13:53Speaker 1: barker with a bluetooth headset. It's some low level intern.
- 13:57Speaker 1: If you knew who actually runs these social media departments,
- 14:01Speaker 1: ever your favorite NFL team, you'd be a guest. You'd say, god, zooks,
- 14:05Speaker 1: who is that punk. I've sat by some of these people.
- 14:08Speaker 1: I go to the games occasionally, and I've sat behind
- 14:10Speaker 1: the people that take here of the social media and
- 14:14Speaker 1: you know, good for them, that's a good job. But
- 14:16Speaker 1: most of them are right out of college. It's like
- 14:19Speaker 1: their first gig because the old boomers they don't know
- 14:23Speaker 1: about social media. So like this, get these young punks.
- 14:25Speaker 1: We'll get them a job. We'll pay them, you know,
- 14:27Speaker 1: sixty thousand dollars a year. We'll let them run the
- 14:29Speaker 1: Twitter account for the team. But that's what that is, right,
- 14:33Speaker 1: You're just yelling for attention in social media. You're juggling
- 14:36Speaker 1: flaming hot takes and the Chargers' account rolled through. They
- 14:41Speaker 1: really leaned into it, rolled through it like they were
- 14:44Speaker 1: eating at farmer boys cheeseburger fries and a supersized order
- 14:48Speaker 1: of engagement farming grease everywhere. Mission accomplished. The algorithm is
- 14:56Speaker 1: a slot machine chod ching chot chan chet ching. It's
- 15:01Speaker 1: the new one armed bandit. It only pays, It only
- 15:05Speaker 1: pays when you pull the outrage level lever. You gotta
- 15:10Speaker 1: pull the lever and the boom just like and the
- 15:13Speaker 1: bod Army. The bod Army salivates, They salivate the rage
- 15:18Speaker 1: clicks angry cowboy fans who are not involved in understanding
- 15:23Speaker 1: how deep the rabbit hole goes. And it's not classless.
- 15:28Speaker 1: It's called capitalism using emojis. What it is, capitalism with
- 15:33Speaker 1: emojis and memes and all that. So if you can
- 15:38Speaker 1: sell a dummy and a dummy buys it, that's it.
- 15:40Speaker 1: And so the cowboy fans who are clutching pearls about
- 15:44Speaker 1: this is not right and all that, please come on.
- 15:47Speaker 1: This is our year. And that has been a recycled moniker.
- 15:51Speaker 1: It's been around longer than a lumin of cans. And
- 15:54Speaker 1: remember the Cowboys last won the Super Bowl before there
- 15:57Speaker 1: was an admin working for the Dallas Cowboys or the Chargers.
- 16:00Speaker 1: That job did not exist in the mid nineties because
- 16:03Speaker 1: there was no social media. People were in America online
- 16:06Speaker 1: dial up internet, and that's it. That was the World
- 16:10Speaker 1: Wide Web at that particular point. And so here we are.
- 16:14Speaker 1: The meme just held up a mirror. No curses were summoned,
- 16:18Speaker 1: no gods were offended, just the Internet doing what it
- 16:22Speaker 1: does best, rewarding noise and punishing silence. No jinks, no
- 16:28Speaker 1: jinks at all.
- 16:29Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
- 16:31Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
- 16:35Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
- 16:38Speaker 1: Polly Foods Go Here with Tony Foods Go Yeah.
- 16:40Speaker 5: As everybody knows, we're the hosts of the award winning
- 16:43Speaker 5: Polly and Tony Foods Go show.
- 16:44Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 16:44Speaker 5: But instead of us telling you how great we are,
- 16:47Speaker 5: here's how Dan Patrick described us when he came on
- 16:49Speaker 5: our show.
- 16:50Speaker 1: Quick, knowledgeable and funny, opinionated, what are you doing interrupting
- 16:55Speaker 1: our promo? Yeah, it wasn't talking about you. You took
- 16:58Speaker 1: those clips totally out of context.
- 17:01Speaker 5: Oh yeah, Well, after this promo, I'm going to take
- 17:03Speaker 5: you out and beat you.
- 17:05Speaker 1: Let me put this into context. Shut up.
- 17:07Speaker 5: Yeah, anyway, just listen to the Paully and Toni Fusco
- 17:10Speaker 5: Show on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts for wherever you get your podcasts.
- 17:13Speaker 2: Yea.
- 17:16Speaker 1: Now, I fully admit this is low hanging fruit, and
- 17:18Speaker 1: I believe that low hanging fruit is the most delicious fruit.
- 17:21Speaker 1: Thus I'm going to take a bite of the forbidden fruit,
- 17:26Speaker 1: the low hanging forbidden fruit. We go to Dallas. How
- 17:28Speaker 1: about them Cowboys?
- 17:29Speaker 6: Now?
- 17:29Speaker 1: The Cowboys eliminated from playoff consideration over the weekend, the
- 17:33Speaker 1: Philadelphia Eagles taking care of business there against Washington. It
- 17:37Speaker 1: was a struggle for a while. The Chargers, though, went
- 17:40Speaker 1: out and molly wopped the Cowboys on site. It was
- 17:44Speaker 1: a beatdown in Jerry's world standard fair these days, which
- 17:49Speaker 1: led to the Man of the Hour, Man of the
- 17:52Speaker 1: Hour giving a truth bomb, well kind of giving a
- 17:56Speaker 1: truth bomb. If you didn't see this, perhaps, not Jerry Jones,
- 17:59Speaker 1: the most powerful man in the NFL, Not Roger get Theell,
- 18:02Speaker 1: not any of us. Jerry Jones. It's Jerry's world after all.
- 18:06Speaker 1: And Jerry was asked if the Cowboys underachieved this season
- 18:12Speaker 1: and well he didn't. He didn't tap dance around. He
- 18:17Speaker 1: answered the question. Here's Jerry Jones. Let's take a listen.
- 18:20Speaker 1: Let's go to the audio tape. Take a listen.
- 18:21Speaker 3: Yes, from what we expected, what we thought, absolutely we did.
- 18:25Speaker 3: We all underachieved, really and the fact we're not in
- 18:29Speaker 3: the playoffs says that for you. But I thought we've
- 18:36Speaker 3: done some things out there that frankly we can carry
- 18:40Speaker 3: forward to us and with us it's always the case
- 18:46Speaker 3: that there's some positive things. The question is can we
- 18:50Speaker 3: make some changes where we need to. That's pretty be
- 18:53Speaker 3: pretty thorough and multiply a lot of multiplication there with
- 18:59Speaker 3: the way we played there. But still they're positive things
- 19:03Speaker 3: always are, And that's one of the things about going
- 19:08Speaker 3: in on coaches meeting and looking at film. If you
- 19:11Speaker 3: don't look out, you'll say positive things when you really
- 19:14Speaker 3: should be more critical to the negative. And I think
- 19:18Speaker 3: you have to do that to play the game.
- 19:19Speaker 1: Being Bob mcgaan, Hey, Jerry, is a forklift backing up.
- 19:23Speaker 1: You might want to get out of the way, Jerry.
- 19:25Speaker 1: Don't get to run over by the forklift. All right,
- 19:27Speaker 1: that's a good jumping off point. So let us discuss
- 19:29Speaker 1: the question. Who is Jerry Jones specifically calling out in
- 19:34Speaker 1: that rant about the Cowboys underachieving? He was asked a
- 19:37Speaker 1: leading question. He did not He did not shy away
- 19:40Speaker 1: from it. He answered it. So he used the we
- 19:44Speaker 1: we are all underachieving. So my observation on this, I've
- 19:48Speaker 1: got the Juilliard School, magic eight ball, and farmer boys,
- 19:54Speaker 1: and we will combine all of these things together and
- 19:58Speaker 1: we are going to make macadamia nut white chocolate chip
- 20:01Speaker 1: cookies is what we're gonna make. Yum, yum to Mike
- 20:03Speaker 1: Tom tumb so number W. Using Google Translate, they have
- 20:14Speaker 1: a new feature. You can now interpret what Jerry Jones means.
- 20:18Speaker 1: So using Google Translate, I am. I'm pretty confident here,
- 20:22Speaker 1: pretty confident that Jerry. Well, he said, hey, we all underachieved.
- 20:29Speaker 1: This was not a blanket statement. It was actually a
- 20:33Speaker 1: laser pointer at two people, all right, two people in particular.
- 20:38Speaker 1: I was aimed right at Shoddy who's naughty and dak Now,
- 20:44Speaker 1: Jerry Jones went out and fired the rotund Mike McCarthy
- 20:49Speaker 1: because seven to ten was not good enough, was not
- 20:53Speaker 1: good enough. He then promoted Brian Schottenheimer, the NEPO baby,
- 20:59Speaker 1: the sock pup, but coach, and he's like, Okay, we're
- 21:02Speaker 1: gonna we're gonna be better now. Jerry's the only one
- 21:05Speaker 1: that thought they would be better. So they went out
- 21:08Speaker 1: there and they have this. They have the same stale leftovers. Sands,
- 21:14Speaker 1: the big defensive star who they unloaded right before the
- 21:16Speaker 1: regular season, MICHAEH. Parsons now Dak Prescott, one of the
- 21:20Speaker 1: all time great stat compilers. Right you look at the numbers.
- 21:24Speaker 1: He leads the Cowboy franchise all time in this category
- 21:27Speaker 1: and that category. Oh my god, you get a little
- 21:30Speaker 1: chubby because he's so good, and then you realize, well,
- 21:32Speaker 1: when the moment matters, he turns into a desert Mirai.
- 21:37Speaker 1: It looks good until you close, until you get close,
- 21:40Speaker 1: right fourth quarter, close.
- 21:41Speaker 4: Game, and then poof, poof, poof, poop, poop poof. Hocus pocus.
- 21:46Speaker 4: Now Vegas.
- 21:47Speaker 1: We mentioned this in a previous episode of the show
- 21:49Speaker 1: at Bears, repeating, so Vegas had Dallas as an eight
- 21:53Speaker 1: ish win team. Right around eight wins, they are six
- 21:57Speaker 1: and nine and they have Washington and the Giants up next.
- 22:04Speaker 1: So if they win those and the Giants are the
- 22:06Speaker 1: worst team in the NFL, tie with the Raiders right now.
- 22:08Speaker 1: Washington is not much better. So those are winnable games.
- 22:14Speaker 1: You win those and the Cowboys will be who exactly
- 22:17Speaker 1: they were supposed to be. They'll be exactly where Vegas
- 22:20Speaker 1: had them. They were right around eight wins on the
- 22:23Speaker 1: look ahead total for the season. And may point out
- 22:27Speaker 1: that Jerry Jones is not furious. He's not. He took
- 22:32Speaker 1: classes I'm convinced in his spare time at the Juilliard School.
- 22:37Speaker 1: Performance outrage is what this is. It's cowboy football, loud complaints,
- 22:43Speaker 1: soft fixes, the eternal underachievement theater that is Jerry's world.
- 22:49Speaker 1: And let's be honest you, once the season ends, that's
- 22:53Speaker 1: when the Cowboys dominate. They will dominate the headlines. The
- 22:57Speaker 1: Cowboys are gonna make news. That's what Jerry does when
- 23:00Speaker 1: he gets a little slow around there, he stirs it up.
- 23:03Speaker 1: And so he's going to get into it now. One
- 23:05Speaker 1: of the other people staying with Dallas page two here,
- 23:08Speaker 1: one of the other people who's got the laser pointer
- 23:12Speaker 1: pointed right at him. Following that loss to the Chargers,
- 23:15Speaker 1: Jerry Jones also was asked about defensive quarter to Matt
- 23:18Speaker 1: Eberflus and his future and whatever decision he makes, Jerry said,
- 23:24Speaker 1: will not be difficult. That's what he said, will not
- 23:26Speaker 1: be difficult. I might not count it as difficult, Jones said.
- 23:30Speaker 1: Regarding the future of Matt Eberflus, the former NFL head
- 23:34Speaker 1: coach now back as a defensive guru. He said, quote
- 23:39Speaker 1: Jerry Jones, It's certainly something that we have to do,
- 23:42Speaker 1: and that is to look at the entire year and
- 23:45Speaker 1: look at what our options are and how to correct it.
- 23:48Speaker 1: So we're not here in at the same time next year,
- 23:51Speaker 1: which of course they will be, all right. Question, So
- 23:53Speaker 1: Jerry Jones says that the Cowboys decision on defensive coordinator
- 23:58Speaker 1: Matt Eberflu's future might not be difficult. So how does
- 24:02Speaker 1: that one hit you? How does that one? He did?
- 24:04Speaker 1: So that is Jerry speak for the guillotine is being sharpened.
- 24:10Speaker 1: The guillotine is being sharpened, the speech is being written.
- 24:14Speaker 1: The suits already dry, cleaned and ready to go for
- 24:18Speaker 1: the news conference. All right, because remember last week Jerry
- 24:21Speaker 1: challenged Matt Eberflus to show something over the final three
- 24:25Speaker 1: games of the regular season. Eberflus responded, and they made
- 24:29Speaker 1: a big deal about this over the weekend. They said, well,
- 24:31Speaker 1: he's moving up to the booth. He's moving from the
- 24:33Speaker 1: sidelines to the booth. And that's the problems. He couldn't
- 24:36Speaker 1: see the field from the sideline. So now that Eberflus,
- 24:39Speaker 1: the defensive warding of the cowboy's gonna go to the booth,
- 24:41Speaker 1: we're good to go. Okay, so fine, he'll go to
- 24:43Speaker 1: the booth and that's it. It's kind of like changing
- 24:46Speaker 1: hats while the building's on fire and the result. Cover
- 24:50Speaker 1: your eyes. The Chargers with Eberflus I in the sky
- 24:54Speaker 1: from the press box. The Chargers carved Dallas off for
- 24:58Speaker 1: four hundred and fifty two yards and thirty four points.
- 25:01Speaker 1: Four hundred and fifty two yards and thirty four points.
- 25:04Speaker 1: Justin Herbert played darts with the secondary and nearly eighty
- 25:09Speaker 1: percent completions, three hundred yards passing, three touchdowns and apartures
- 25:13Speaker 1: in the pear tree. It was a bullseye repeatedly, bullseye, bullsseye, bullseye.
- 25:19Speaker 1: So what does all that mean? Now? We consulted with
- 25:24Speaker 1: a full proof arbiter, one of the great judges of
- 25:28Speaker 1: our time, the magic eight ball. We consulted with the
- 25:32Speaker 1: magic gate ball. We said, all almighty, all powerful, magic
- 25:35Speaker 1: eate ball. We said, what does it look like for
- 25:39Speaker 1: the future of Matt Eberflus And we shook it, we rattled,
- 25:42Speaker 1: we rolled beside that magic eate ball, and the magic
- 25:46Speaker 1: eate ball said, outlook not so good. That's what the
- 25:51Speaker 1: magic gate ball said. This defense has been a revolving
- 25:54Speaker 1: door all season. Bunch of matadors o le lay o,
- 25:59Speaker 1: l ole. It's just great. So it's revolving door. You
- 26:03Speaker 1: spin it and it spinds all night. The booth clearly
- 26:07Speaker 1: did not help. So the Cowboys have two games left.
- 26:09Speaker 1: May I recommend that the Cowboys have a drone over
- 26:15Speaker 1: the stadium, the ebrew Flus drone, and you can use
- 26:19Speaker 1: the drone and see where everyone's lined up on offense
- 26:23Speaker 1: for the opposition. If that doesn't work, you can go
- 26:26Speaker 1: nineteen eighty style and bring back the goodyear blimp and
- 26:30Speaker 1: get in the blimp and then look down from the
- 26:32Speaker 1: blimp and call the defensive plays from the blimp. If
- 26:36Speaker 1: that does not work, I think you get a small
- 26:37Speaker 1: weather balloon if that's more cost efficient for Jerry's world.
- 26:41Speaker 1: Just keep experimenting, Just keep experimenting. Something's gonna work now.
- 26:47Speaker 1: Jerry already decided this will not be difficult. It So,
- 26:51Speaker 1: what's the big deal. It's not gonna be difficult, all right? Now,
- 26:53Speaker 1: final point to social media we go or this has
- 26:57Speaker 1: become a thing. The admins celebrating the win, the social
- 27:02Speaker 1: media team, the admins. That's the word I'm looking for
- 27:06Speaker 1: for the Chargers there, they decided to have some fun.
- 27:08Speaker 1: So of course this becomes a thing. Oh my god,
- 27:11Speaker 1: I can't believe they did that. So first the Chargers
- 27:14Speaker 1: on their online platforms jokingly referenced the Cowboys we demn
- 27:19Speaker 1: Boys slogan. Of course, cowboys are very good at slogans.
- 27:24Speaker 1: Winning football games they're not good at, but they lead
- 27:27Speaker 1: the league in slogans. They're really good at that. We
- 27:29Speaker 1: demn Boys. So the Chargers had some fun with that. Then,
- 27:31Speaker 1: in the holiday spirit, they edited a clip from the
- 27:34Speaker 1: four film The Polar Express, a classic piece of cinema,
- 27:39Speaker 1: where the conductor punches an l on a ticket for
- 27:42Speaker 1: the Cowboys, And they finished up the troll buffet with
- 27:47Speaker 1: a meme depicting a cowboys wearing Babushka insisting quote, this
- 27:54Speaker 1: is our year, and then the Babushka's granddaughter leading her
- 27:59Speaker 1: to bed, mocking, mocking, Dallas fans perennial optimism, So that
- 28:06Speaker 1: was the trifect. Of course, this ruffled. I don't think
- 28:09Speaker 1: this really offended anyone, but the perception is it offended
- 28:12Speaker 1: some people. So we'll just play along with it, calling
- 28:14Speaker 1: the Bolts class lists and act like you've been there before.
- 28:17Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? Do not kick the team while
- 28:20Speaker 1: they're down the Cowboys? So the question did the Chargers
- 28:25Speaker 1: mess with the football gods by poking fun? Where they
- 28:31Speaker 1: off base by poking fun at the Dallas Cowboy. So
- 28:34Speaker 1: let's stop pretending that this is somehow sacrilege. Can we
- 28:37Speaker 1: all do that? Thank you? Yeah? Yeah, please? You know
- 28:40Speaker 1: what that is. That's just what you're supposed to do.
- 28:43Speaker 1: The Charger didn't anger the football gods. They poke the Internet.
- 28:48Speaker 1: It's the internet, dummy, it's fake. It's the matrix. It's
- 28:51Speaker 1: all that, and the Internet poked back, and that's what's
- 28:54Speaker 1: supposed to happen. The yin and the yang. There's a
- 28:56Speaker 1: big difference there. This wasn't blasphemy. It was called commerce.
- 29:01Speaker 1: It's called commerce. Social media is not a tabernacle. It's
- 29:05Speaker 1: not the church. It's not a temple. It's a carnival.
- 29:07Speaker 1: Barker with a Bluetooth headset. It's some low level intern.
- 29:11Speaker 1: If you knew who actually runs the social media departments
- 29:15Speaker 1: ever your favorite NFL team, you'd be a guest. You'd say, god, zooks,
- 29:20Speaker 1: who is that punk? I've sat by some of these people.
- 29:23Speaker 1: I go to the games occasionally, and I've sat behind
- 29:25Speaker 1: the people that take here of the social media and
- 29:29Speaker 1: you know, good for them, that's a good job. But
- 29:31Speaker 1: most of them are right out of college. It's like
- 29:34Speaker 1: their first gig because the old boomers they don't know
- 29:38Speaker 1: about social media. So like this, get these young punks.
- 29:40Speaker 1: We'll get them a job. We'll pay them, you know,
- 29:41Speaker 1: sixty thousand dollars a year. We'll let them run the
- 29:44Speaker 1: Twitter account for the team. But that's what that is, right,
- 29:48Speaker 1: You're just yelling for attention in social media. You're juggling
- 29:51Speaker 1: flaming hot takes. And the Chargers' account rolled through. They
- 29:56Speaker 1: really leaned into it, rolled through it like they were
- 29:58Speaker 1: eating at Farmer cheeseburger fries and a supersized order of
- 30:03Speaker 1: engagement farming increase everywhere, mission accomplished. The algorithm is a
- 30:11Speaker 1: slot machine chut ching, cha ching, chut ching. It's the
- 30:16Speaker 1: new one armed bandit it only pays. It only pays
- 30:21Speaker 1: when you pull the outrage level lever. You gotta pull
- 30:25Speaker 1: the lever and the boom just like and the bod Army.
- 30:29Speaker 1: The bod Army salivates, They salivate the rage clicks angry
- 30:34Speaker 1: cowboy fans who are not involved in understanding how deep
- 30:39Speaker 1: the rabbit hole goes. And it's not classless. It's called
- 30:43Speaker 1: capitalism using emojis. What it is, capitalism with emojis and
- 30:49Speaker 1: memes and all that. So if you can sell a
- 30:53Speaker 1: dummy and a dummy buys it, that's it. And so
- 30:56Speaker 1: the cowboy fans who are clutching pearls about this is
- 30:59Speaker 1: not right and all that, please come on. This is
- 31:02Speaker 1: our year. That has been a recycled moniker. It's been
- 31:06Speaker 1: around longer than a lumine of cans. And to remember,
- 31:09Speaker 1: the Cowboys last won the Super Bowl before there was
- 31:12Speaker 1: an admin working for the Dallas Cowboys or the Chargers.
- 31:15Speaker 1: That job did not exist in the mid nineties because
- 31:18Speaker 1: there was no social media. People were in America online,
- 31:21Speaker 1: dial up internet and that's it. That was the World
- 31:25Speaker 1: Wide Web at that particular point. And so here we
- 31:28Speaker 1: are the meme just held up a mirror. No curses
- 31:32Speaker 1: were summoned, no gods were offended, just the Internet doing
- 31:37Speaker 1: what it does best, rewarding noise and punishing silence. No jinks,
- 31:42Speaker 1: no jinks at all.
- 31:43Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
- 31:46Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
- 31:50Speaker 1: It's mallard, how about that? To the third degree? This
- 31:55Speaker 1: is one big vent gets grilled, I mean right, coopoloo.
- 32:00Speaker 6: And over the weekend, the Miami Hurricanes celebrated their first
- 32:02Speaker 6: college football playoff berth with a defensive effort in a
- 32:06Speaker 6: ten to three road win at number seven Texas A
- 32:09Speaker 6: and M. And a lot of people think that this
- 32:11Speaker 6: shows that they are legitimate title contender.
- 32:14Speaker 1: Do you agree? No, I don't. I mean, that was
- 32:18Speaker 1: a nice win. It was an ugly game and all that.
- 32:22Speaker 1: I'm not there on Miami yet. You gotta you gotta
- 32:25Speaker 1: have more on offense. And I don't think they do what.
- 32:28Speaker 1: You gotta see my bracket, Coop, I gotta fill out management.
- 32:31Speaker 1: Scott contacted me. I have to fill out a bracket,
- 32:34Speaker 1: so you'll I don't want to give my bracket away, Coop,
- 32:37Speaker 1: as you do, but I'm not. I'm not on board
- 32:39Speaker 1: with the Hurricanes winning the whole thing. Next.
- 32:41Speaker 6: So a lot of people say that Caleb williams heroics
- 32:44Speaker 6: against the Packers on Saturday should silence the doubters. Ben,
- 32:49Speaker 6: you have you have been one of those doubters. Have
- 32:53Speaker 6: you been silenced?
- 32:54Speaker 1: Well? I was silence Coop. I did not do shows.
- 32:57Speaker 1: We did the podcast, but we didn't talk about that game.
- 32:59Speaker 1: So I was technically silenced over the weekend. On Caleb Williams.
- 33:03Speaker 1: That was nice, but he's you gotta play like that
- 33:05Speaker 1: the whole game. He has these stretches where he's great
- 33:09Speaker 1: and the rest of the game he stinks it's problematic.
- 33:12Speaker 1: But I'm the bad guy because I'm pointing that out. Okay,
- 33:15Speaker 1: And yeah, do I take some cheap shots at the
- 33:17Speaker 1: nail Paulish, Yes, I do. Next.
- 33:19Speaker 6: Late last week, Lebron James was asked about the play
- 33:21Speaker 6: of Keyante George of the Utah Jazz, and Lebron said,
- 33:25Speaker 6: I'm the wrong guy to ask about that. I watch
- 33:27Speaker 6: YouTube golf these days. A lot of Lakers fans are
- 33:32Speaker 6: concerned that his motivation is waiting Ben.
- 33:35Speaker 1: Should they be concerned about that? I thought Lebron looked
- 33:38Speaker 1: great on Saturday Coop my favorite Laker game all year
- 33:41Speaker 1: against the Clippers. What a wonderful game, and we had
- 33:43Speaker 1: it on the background. I was not watching it, but
- 33:45Speaker 1: the Clippers were leading the whole game. But yeah, Lebron,
- 33:48Speaker 1: I wouldn't be worried about that. I'd be worried about
- 33:50Speaker 1: some other Lebron. So how do we go? How do
- 33:52Speaker 1: we get pass?
- 33:53Speaker 2: That is?
- 33:53Speaker 3: They went?
- 33:54Speaker 1: Put it on the board.
- 33:59Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
- 34:02Speaker 2: the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
- 34:05Speaker 2: dot com and within the iHeartRadio app search FSR to
- 34:09Speaker 2: listen live. Hey you sports figure, guy or girl?
- 34:15Speaker 1: Who here were you talking to?
- 34:17Speaker 2: Son?
- 34:17Speaker 1: If you're some interesting advice.
- 34:19Speaker 6: Hold that though no one's paid attention to me for
- 34:21Speaker 6: ten whole seconds.
- 34:22Speaker 1: And if you don't like it, you and away we go.
- 34:29Speaker 1: It's the unscreened phone call portion of the show. We
- 34:33Speaker 1: like to call it the insta advice line. We take,
- 34:37Speaker 1: we take, We take from so many people in sports.
- 34:40Speaker 1: We talk about the coaches, the players, the prominent media figures. Well,
- 34:43Speaker 1: this is once a week where we give back. We
- 34:46Speaker 1: give advice from the American people, the Canadian people, anyone
- 34:51Speaker 1: listening I don't care wherever you are. You're you're fellow man,
- 34:55Speaker 1: and help us out here give advice. Who needs our advice? Now, well,
- 34:59Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about more in depth next hour. But
- 35:01Speaker 1: it's such a great story, DK Metcalf. That's a wide
- 35:04Speaker 1: receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers. During the Steelers win in Detroit,
- 35:09Speaker 1: went up to a guy wearing a blue wig, a
- 35:12Speaker 1: Lions fan wearing a blue wig, and attempted to punch
- 35:16Speaker 1: him during the game. So what is your advice? Advice
- 35:23Speaker 1: to DK Metcalf of the Pittsburgh Steelers who attempted to
- 35:28Speaker 1: throw a punch. He did not land the punch, and
- 35:32Speaker 1: he's he's gonna have some explaining to do, will likely
- 35:36Speaker 1: be suspended by the NFL at some point the next
- 35:39Speaker 1: couple of days. All right, advice to DK Metcalf of
- 35:42Speaker 1: the Steelers. Let's go to you eight seven seven ninety
- 35:45Speaker 1: nine on Fox by the way, line number one. You're
- 35:48Speaker 1: on the airline one. Hello. They always say, don't punch down.
- 35:54Speaker 1: He was punching out. That's your point, supermarcut Steve. He
- 35:57Speaker 1: did punch off the stands above the feet. Let's go
- 36:00Speaker 1: to line two. Your next line two we're giving advice
- 36:02Speaker 1: to DK Metcalf of the Pittsburg Steelers.
- 36:06Speaker 2: I'm sorry Ben's cousin, but women's soccer blows. I'd rather
- 36:09Speaker 2: look at Robbie. Yeah.
- 36:12Speaker 1: I got yelled at by one of my older cousins
- 36:15Speaker 1: because I whip she. I ran into her and I
- 36:17Speaker 1: ripped women's soccer three years ago, and she still remembered
- 36:21Speaker 1: that monologue and she yelled at me. Let's go to
- 36:23Speaker 1: line three. You're on the airline three. Hello, line three,
- 36:27Speaker 1: Good morning ten.
- 36:28Speaker 2: I told him that uha used to be a playboy
- 36:32Speaker 2: bunny centerphold.
- 36:33Speaker 6: He didn't believe me.
- 36:33Speaker 1: I told him, I don't understand why why would DK
- 36:36Speaker 1: Metcalf not believe Rick and Maryland? Line uh we Line four?
- 36:40Speaker 1: I believe Line four is ringing. Hello, Line four, you're
- 36:43Speaker 1: on the airline four. Hey, that's lucky Tony. Line five.
- 36:48Speaker 1: Your next advice to DK Metcalf with the Steelers who
- 36:52Speaker 1: attempted to punch a Lions fan. All right, your phone sucks,
- 36:59Speaker 1: line sick year. Hello, Line six, go all right, that's
- 37:03Speaker 1: no good eight seven, seven ninety nine. On Fox, we're
- 37:07Speaker 1: giving advice to DK Metcalf of the Steels who attempted
- 37:10Speaker 1: to punch a Lions fan during the game. Hello, line one,
- 37:14Speaker 1: you're on the ear. Hello, line one, call.
- 37:17Speaker 6: The line, Josh tebe Meatball's ball.
- 37:21Speaker 1: Okay, I have no idea what that meant. Let's go
- 37:23Speaker 1: to line too, your next line too. Advice to DK
- 37:25Speaker 1: Metcalf of the Steelers attempted to punch a Lions fan
- 37:27Speaker 1: during the game.
- 37:29Speaker 2: You had to learn how to.
- 37:30Speaker 1: Go to box, the score and line how to box
- 37:32Speaker 1: like a man? Sit where we was? Okay, all right,
- 37:35Speaker 1: all right, there's our buddy Frank from Iowa. Sounds like
- 37:37Speaker 1: a ligne. Is it bad? I recognize everyone's with a
- 37:40Speaker 1: line five? Hello, line five, line fell and I lost
- 37:45Speaker 1: all my money last Now you're a liar, sir, you're
- 37:49Speaker 1: a liar. You had to watch Benny versus Pay number
- 37:52Speaker 1: one number two. We we had a middling week. We
- 37:55Speaker 1: won the Sunday night game. We did that a line
- 37:59Speaker 1: line six, hellout, line six, line six? Are you there?
- 38:04Speaker 1: Line six? Line two? Go ahead, you're on their carry off? Right, No,
- 38:10Speaker 1: I will do one one more if it's good, I'll
- 38:12Speaker 1: take credit. I'll blame the coop. Final call Coople on
- 38:15Speaker 1: the incident vice line line one, line one you're on
- 38:18Speaker 1: the airline. One go Apostam's rule, A possum's rule. There
- 38:23Speaker 1: it is. I know what he's doing right now