Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Date Jana Kramer's Best Friend

Transcript

Date Jana Kramer's Best Friend · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm one of
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: your hosts, Jana Kramer, and today is a very exciting
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: episode because we talk a lot about celebrities and what's
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: going on in their lives. But today I wanted to
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: bring in my own real life, regular divorced single friend
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: who's amazing and open to finding love. So everyone, welcome
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Pamelin onto the podcast. Having So I'm just so excited
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: about this for a few reasons. One because I mean, look,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I love I love doing the show when I'm able
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: to come on and interview people. But and this is
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: no offense, like to the Bachelorette people out there, the models,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, we love Kelly Bensimone, we love her. I
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: mean she's a she's a beautiful, stunning model, and you
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: know she is going through her her journey of you know,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: being divorced and finding love. And we've got Bachelorettes and
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: bachelorett you know, so it's like love all of them. Sure,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: But I had this thought when we I mean, you're
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: my best friend, yes number one. Number two, We're walking
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: and I'm I've obviously been on this journey with you,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, why isn't Pamelin on I do part
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: two because this is again no offense to the to
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: the other amazing hosts that we've had on here, in
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: the celebrities that we've had on here. But you are
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: dealing with this not in you know, not like that
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: didn't you know what I mean.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to say, not.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: In the public I am most real, normal person view
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: of you know, what's really happening.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think it's for me I relate more
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: to people that are really going through it and not
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: in the public eye. Right.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Well, I think that sometimes when you're in the public eye,
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: you do have a different experience because you may be
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: more accessible to more people, right because your story's out there, right,
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: I mean you.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't want to say it, but I mean,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: you know, more people maybe would have found me from
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: It's like I found my husband on Instagram because he
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: found you know so.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: And at this point it it kind of comes down
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: to a numbers game.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of things are numbers games.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I had to date a lot of people. Yeah, you
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: do find the right one, yeah.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: And you start to you know, figure out what you
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: actually want instead of you know, just trying to have
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: somebody choose you, or you be the one that somebody likes, Like, no,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: what exactly do I want?
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Well, so we're obviously going to talk about dating because
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: that is one of our hot topics on our walks
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: around the neighborhood because we're also I don't want we're
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: best friends, but we're neighbors, and so we go on
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: walks and I'm hearing it all and we're going to
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: to talk about all that. But first I want to
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: back up because I know Pamelin and I am honored
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: to know you. But I want other people listening, and
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I also want a potential suitor to be hearing this too,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: to get a little piece into who you are, what
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: has been your journey thus far and before the dating world.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: So let's back it up. I give us the where
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: are you from? Along remarried, let's do it?
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Do it well.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: I'm originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and I'm very proud of that.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: You also know the version of Pittsburgh Pam and she
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: comes out.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you about Pittsburgh Pam. She's a good
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: friend to have.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: So you know, I have these kind of blue collared
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: roots and then I came here to Nashville from Los Angeles.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: I lived there for eleven years and that's where I
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: met my ex husband and I had my two beautiful
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: daughters there and we moved here in twenty nineteen. I
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: was married for ten years.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: And you had quite a dating history too, I mean,
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: with the fact that you didn't really.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Date a lot of people.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: True. Yeah, I since as far as I can remember,
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: I've just been very intentional about dating or boyfriends. I
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: would have a boyfriend for three four years and then
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't date at all for three four years. It
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: was kind of like it was just something I would
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: feel an energy, and then I just knew that it
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: was going to be it. And if I didn't have
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: that feeling, I just didn't entertain. I didn't need to be,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: you know, going on dates. I was building my career.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: I had amazing friendships, and so it wasn't ever really
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: anything that I felt like I had to have if
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: it fell into my lap, and you know, it was
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: an amazing experience. I totally put forth all of my
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: effort into that, but it was never it was really
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: always always quality over quantity, for sure.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: So I mean I really only had I don't know
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: because I know the hockey. There was a hockey guy.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: There was a football right. I mean I had a
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: really I had a four and a half year relationship,
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: and he was financed, he was not exactly, but and
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: we lived together and we had a business together and
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: all the things. Yeah, when I thought about my future,
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: I just didn't think that he was going to be,
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: you know, the one to love me like I wanted
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: to be.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Loved, which is interesting in hindsight. In hindsight, oh my gosh,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I mean it was crazy. I lived together. I mean,
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I loved his family, It was.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: It was great in a lot of ways, which I
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: don't think he was capable of loving me enough.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: And so I think that's a.
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  Speaker 3: Big takeaway with a lot of people trying to like
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: navigate this whole world, is you can have beautiful relationships,
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: you can really really want that person in your life forever,
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: but if they are not capable of meeting we're meeting
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: you where you're at, then there's this just lost hope
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: and then we're wasting time and we're we're wanting somebody
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: to give us something that they cannot give us. And
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: you know, we have to get out of that cycle
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: and really understanding like what is, what are they capable of?
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: What can they do instead of just like romanticizing or
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: being excited about the potential.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Right of somebody.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Isn't that an interesting thought though, because that's the majority
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: of why we get divorced, is because they can't meet
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: our needs. Yeah, so really what we're wanting you realizing
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: the person that you pick didn't meet your needs. I
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: mean my ex husband didn't meet my needs obviously, sure,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: And I.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Think you know, a lot of that does come down
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: to communication too. So if we are not properly communicating,
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: you know, to somebody what exactly we need, and especially
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: to men, we almost have to like lay it out
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: in bullet points, like on a silver platter and hand
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: it to them and say, you know, this is actually
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: what I need, and a lot of men will then
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: give it to you. I mean, if you're really laying
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: it out. I mean some you know, of course some
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: are not going to. But we cannot expect anybody to
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: read our minds and know what we want because we
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: all are so different. And so maybe in a past relationship,
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: a woman or a man needed X, Y and Z,
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Well we're not the same person and so I think
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: that when it comes down to it, it's the communication
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: that is first lacking that then causes you know, the
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: needs aren't being met.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: To back up to when you met your ex. And
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: again this I don't want this pod. This isn't about
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: him and y'all just divorce. This is about you and
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: your journey. But I'm just curious to see because a
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: lot of people that listen are around that thirty to
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: forty age range, which if they don't have kids, they're
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: wanting to have kids. And I always kind of wonder.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: And I've never asked you this, so you can pass
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: if you want, but for me, and I've spoken openly
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: about this, where I looked away from flags because I
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: wanted to be a mom. You know, I still think
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: I probably would have ended up with my ex just
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: because I was so I didn't think I deserved certain things.
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  Speaker 1: But I truly, at my core, I was like, I
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: need to be a mom, and this is my best
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: option that I have right here, as I you know,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: as at thirty. And what's so sad is now I
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: look back, I'm like, man, thirty.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: So young, Yeah, you know, so young.
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, like you you and you don't realize
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: how fast things can change on a dime at thirty four,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: thirty five years. So it's like but it was a
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: true like, well, I do want I want kids, and
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: I thought I'd already have kids because I come from
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Michigan and all my friends have like five year olds
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: and six year old at this point now, And oh
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: my gosh, So I'm just curious for you. Obviously there
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: was love for your ex. But when you step aside
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: from that, do you look at it and go, maybe
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: I looked away from certain things because I wanted to
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: be a mom because you have two beautiful children.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, and you're an amazing mom. Thank you? Do you
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Yeah? And you know, I I'm
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: not sure about that.
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  Speaker 3: I was never the person that was so obsessed with
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: being a mom. I just trusted that, like my path
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: was going to kind kind of aligne for me. And
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: then I mean it is true. Mean I didn't meet
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: you know, my ex husband too. I was thirty three,
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: so I was you know, there's that subconscious time clock
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: that is going on in your head.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: We also had a really.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Fast dating period before engagement in marriage, so that was
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: like really fast. We just kind of you know, really
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: fell for each other. We were both from Pennsylvania and
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: it was just like this awesome kind of we came
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: from the same mold connection and so, you know, I
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: don't know if I thought like that. I think so
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: many of us when we find our you know, first husbands, I.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Mean at this age or got one or three.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: So I don't think and I didn't. I don't think
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: we go into it. I mean I was going at
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: it as a whole pay sure, like this was amazing,
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: this was you know, my love, this was my this
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: was you know, going to be the father of my children,
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: like this was my forever. I don't recall going into it,
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: you know, hesitant about anything. And I think a lot
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: of people, right, we don't go into marriage thinking it's
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: going to be not the one. We don't go and
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: thinking it's going to be a divorce. I remember my
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: mom telling me that because my parents are divorced, and
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: she said, Pam, you know I didn't marry your dad
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: thinking I was going to divorce him.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Like I married him like this is the greatest man ever.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: So so that's kind of you know, yeah, the plan
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: was clearly to never get divorced, but here we are.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Right, and looks you know. It's interesting too because we're
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: two obviously very different people when it comes to what
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: we share and what we don't share. And even when
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: I was married to my ex, when I would bring
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: up like, you didn't talk about your marriage Hardie at all.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't know there were any issues ever,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: you know, which then leads me to shocked when and
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: nobody knows the story. So this is a am I
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: allowed to share. Sure, I had just met Alan and
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I just met, but you know, we were dating, and
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: then I got pregnant, and I remember and are obviously
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: so close, but I remember there was this distance, and
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, did I do something wrong? And I just
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: kept thinking, like, what did I do wrong? Pam's not
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: really talking to me. This is so weird and I
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: don't understand, and so I just kept thinking I did
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: something wrong. So I'm like, okay, but I don't want
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: to say anything, but should I? And then I'm also
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: like trying not to vomit every two seconds because I'm pregnant,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: trying to like not tell everybody.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Obviously you knew, but and I yeah.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: So then as the summer goes on, you came over
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: to our airbnb that we were at and uh, you
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: can't move into the new house, and You're like, I
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: have to talk to you, and I'm like, here it is,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: she's breaking up with me. I don't know why or
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: what I did. And I'm like, I've at this. I
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: at this point, I feel looking at it, Huntse, I
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: feel so bad because I was I made so about
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: me and like what I did wrong? I should have looked,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: you know, asked you, but you literally said are you
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: breaking up?
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: I didn't and sat down.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: You're like, so I have to talk to you. I'm like,
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I don't know what I did, but
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: are we breaking up? Because and that's what I thought.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: That's what I felt. And instead of why didn't I
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: come to you and ask you? Are you okay? But
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: you said, well, I think it took me like twenty minutes, yeah,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: which is I'm like, does tell me you hate me? Yeah?
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: I couldn't spit it out right.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just said I still remember that, Like I
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: think you know, I just said three words, maybe two words,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: I'm divorced, and you said like past tense.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I was like celerity D like I was shocked. Yeah,
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: I'm divorced. I'm sorry.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: What And then I then I felt terrible because I'm like,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: you went through this like you were, like you said,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: nobody knew, you told nobody that's your therapist, only that.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: And then I just felt awful because I'm like, man,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: I should have asked if I have a question, if
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: I would have asked if you and your ex were okay,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: Like do you think you would have said or no?
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: I don't know because this was this is my what
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: was happening in my brain at that time.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Talk to talk to us, so tell us a thought process.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: And I am very aware that I am unique in
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: this way and it's not for everybody, but it works
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: for me. So this is how I roll. Okay.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: I didn't talk to anybody about it because you know,
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: I needed to maintain joy in every other aspect of
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: my life life that I could, and I didn't want
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: people to know because then it would have been the
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: constant topic of conversation and everybody would have been asking me,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: are you okay? What's going on now? I would be
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: walking to the bus stop, everybody's thinking, oh my gosh,
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: she's sad, she's going through a divorce, and so I
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: wanted to maintain some sense of normalcy in my life
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: and know that I can go and you know, hang
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: out with you and all of our friends and.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: Just be normal.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: And I've always been the type of person that I
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: trust my brain so much. I trust the thoughts in
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: my head more than not against anybody else, but more
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: than anybody can give me advice on. And so what
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: my friends, you know, didn't realize is they were supporting
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: me more than they ever could by just being normal,
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: just being you know, there for me.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: And so that's just how I went through it.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: And I mean maybe part of it was just it
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: was painful to talk about, you know, I didn't want
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: to talk about I mean, and that stuff's painful, and
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: so I just sat in my emotions and I just
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: sat in my feelings, and.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: You know, just kind of.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: I think it's helpful when you don't have other people
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: in their opinions and their voices constantly in your head.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: I think you have to be alone in your in
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: your thoughts a lot of the time, and I think
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: that people don't take that time to do that, and
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: so I I know it was weird, but I'm proud
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: of myself for doing it like that.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: I just think we all felt bad and I hear
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: what you're saying that we or did you without really
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: even knowing. But I also know how devastating divorces and
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: the like guttural tears and the sadness, And to know
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: that you went through that alone, that just makes me
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: sad as a friend that I couldn't like you laid
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: in bed with me while I would scream cry, you know,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: and it's like you were alone doing that, And that
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: still makes me sad to this day that you It
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: makes me sad knowing that you were alone through that.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: I am a little bit sad for that version of myself,
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: like when I look back, but I think just at
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: that moment, it was just I was just doing the
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: best that I thought, you know, was good for like,
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: you know, my mental health, for my kids, for you know,
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: all that stuff, and just yeah, not involving anybody else there.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: So when she said that, obviously there was sadness that
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: I felt for you because a little relief that you
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: weren't breaking up with me, you broke up with someone else.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: And then my third thing was is I was like,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: damn it, Pam, why couldn't you do this when I
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: was getting divorced, we would have been on fire in
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Miami together.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we were totally opposite trajectories. You were pregnant as
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: could be, and I was yeah, I.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: Was like, I need to do it.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: But then I'm like, well, so we would have gotten
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: in too much trouble. But you know now that is
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: so okay. So to wrap that piece up looking back,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: what are some of the Obviously you went through it
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: different than probably most did. Is there anything for women
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: that are going through a divorce that you found solace in?
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: I think I just kept trusting the Universe's plan for
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: me and knowing that I there's only two things I
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: can control in this world, and it is how I
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: treat myself and how I treat other people. And I
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: cannot control any other part of my surroundings, my environment,
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: and so I just put my head down. You guys,
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: I took care of myself. I built a company from
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: nothing while going through a divorce. I put my energy
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: into my children, and I just did not lose hope
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: in you know, like where I meant to be.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Again.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Did I ever see this, you know, happening, or even
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: expect you know that I would be in that place, know,
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: but I just trust so much in this like beautiful
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: freaking world that I know that I am exactly where
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: I am supposed to be right now for what whatever
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: reason it is. And I don't even need to know
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: the reason. I just release all of that control. And
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, it was was the craziest hardest
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: thing ever. But I think it did give me the
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: space and the almost the just determination to build this
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: freaking company. Now I'm scaling this company like all by myself,
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: you know, from nothing, And so I almost turned like
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: you know, a sad thing into as much of a powerful,
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: powerful finding my voice where I'm supposed to be type
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: of situation.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of women too, They always ask me,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: when did you know? Was there a moment for you
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: where you were like either I don't want to spend
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: my life like this the rest of my or I
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: don't want.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: What was it for?
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: Like I know that this is the right choice and
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I'm making the right choice.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Was it a feeling? Was it a.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of women wrestle with that piece
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: of it, like how do you know, yeah that if
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: you're making the right decision or that this is.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Well I will say that I don't think that.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: Many. I mean, I think there are a percentage, but
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: I don't think that many divorces.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Just just happen overnight.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: Sure, I think a lot of the time it is
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: a slow burn, whether you want to admit it or not.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: And I also think it's a situation where when you know,
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: you know, and it could be the littlest thing, it
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: could be the biggest thing, it could be you know,
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: a multitude of you know, kind of like again just
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: like you know, building up of things. Yeah, but was
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: there like some crazy pivotal moment.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Not really.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that, because that's that is so true.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: There is this feeling when you just go and I'm
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: done and you and I always was wondering if I
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: would ever feel that, and then when you do, you're like, oh,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: that is what people always say. That feeling is. Yeah,
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: you can't really explain it, and you can't go back
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: from it either. No, there's no take back button. It's
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: like or take back the feelings. You know that it's done,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: and then you just gotta put your head down and
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: go through it.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Well, and you know, I mean, and it wasn't like,
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: oh it was just me saying I'm done. I mean,
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: there was a you know, a discussion, There was you know,
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: you know, a combination of both of us. So it
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: wasn't just like, you know, some type of situation like
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: that either. But yeah, I mean I think just maybe
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: two people realizing that maybe each other don't make the
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: other person, you know, as happy as they could as
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: they could be, and that everybody deserves to you know,
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: live in this rolled with an abundance of happiness and joy.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: And so.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: That was you know, a bit of the backstory with
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: the divorce. But what I'm excited to talk about is
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: what's happening now. And I'm just loving this conversation. So
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: let's pause this one and let's do part two next week.