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292 - The Link Between Deconditioning & Success · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

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  Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to
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  helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to
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  flow without sacrificing results.
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  Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business
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  according to your human design.
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  I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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  Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design everyone.
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  I'm your host Nicole Laino and today I want to talk about success.
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  Specifically, I want to talk about the role of deconditioning in success,
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  because this issue came up during my latest Authority Accelerator Masterclass.
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  The Authority Accelerator for those of you who don't know, are my five day
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  free masterclass that I do every so many months where I put on this workshop for
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  everyone where I teach you how to craft a million dollar message and a sales
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  system all according to your human design.
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  I take you through the energetic side of building a business as well as the
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  strategic side and I talk about marrying these two because honestly, you need both.
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  You need energy and you need strategy.
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  And one of the topics and themes that kept coming up with a lot of people
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  who were participating in this round of the workshop, was this feeling
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  like they weren't ready, or wondering, am I ready for this next step?
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  And what I've noticed is that particularly people who have been in
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  the entrepreneurial game for a little while, and maybe this is you, where
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  maybe you've invested in some things and they haven't worked out to the
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  level that you thought they would.
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  I definitely get the sense that there's a lot of fatigue right now.
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  There is this sense of grinding, and pushing, and trying to find your groove.
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  And will I ever get to that point where things don't feel so hard?
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  As I was talking to people and as I was guiding people through these
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  workshop sessions, and talking to different participants in it.
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  And honestly, even just hearing some friends and people in the industry right
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  now, that this one phrase that my first coach ever, James Wedmore used to say
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  to us, when you joined his program, he would say, your success is inevitable.
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  And then he would say, everything is working out in my favor.
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  These are mantras that he had instilled in himself.
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  And he was giving them to us and saying, you have to believe
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  that your success is inevitable.
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  You have to believe that everything works out in your favor.
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  And when you start to make those shifts, if you can align with those
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  beliefs, and really mean them, then truly your success will be inevitable.
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  And I remember when I first started the journey and I first heard that,
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  those sounded like great words, but I could not connect to them.
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  I could not energetically connect to them.
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  And one of the mantras that I put out there, and I've said it on this show,
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  and I say it to my clients all the time is that your thoughts lie, your
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  words lie, but your energy never does.
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  And this was a case of, in the beginning I would say my success is inevitable.
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  And that was where my words were lying.
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  I wanted those to be true.
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  My thoughts when I thought that my success is inevitable.
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  I'd say that to myself.
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  Energetically, it was not the truth.
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  Energetically, it was, I don't know if this is going to work.
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  That was the belief.
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  And the belief is more than just an intellectual understanding.
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  It's not just words.
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  The belief is the energetic connection that we have to things.
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  And one thing that I was explaining during one of our bonus sessions
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  that I held during the Authority Accelerator, was the role of conditioning
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  in our beliefs, and in our energy, and in the way that we show up.
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  Because here's a big difference.
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  Your success is inevitable absolutely is something that you need to connect to.
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  You need to feel like what you are doing has the potential and possibility to work.
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  So if you've heard people say things like, get into the energy of what you want.
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  Align with potential, align with possibility.
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  Can you do that?
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  Can you connect to what if it all went right?
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  The truth is that a lot of people cannot.
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  And I count myself as one of those people for a very long time.
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  And this is where self sabotage comes from.
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  This is where if you're looking at the outside world, you're saying I'm doing
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  the things, I'm showing up, I'm taking action, I feel like I'm doing what
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  I'm told, but for some reason I'm not getting the result that was promised.
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  Now you may blame the people that you signed up with and say their thing
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  doesn't work, or maybe you're one of those people who turns it on yourself
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  and turns it into blame and shame on you.
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  Where you say maybe I'm just not good enough.
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  Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
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  And one of my clients, Kaitlin, who was on the show recently, she
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  did a little interview inside the Masterclass for us, so people could
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  hear about her experience in my program.
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  And she was saying, I had all the pieces when I started before this program.
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  I knew how to write content, I'd taken programs and been coached
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  in all sorts of strategies, but it never really came together.
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  And I asked her, how did human design play a role in the way that you feel now?
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  I was like, do you feel unshakeable now?
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  And she's like, oh my God, a thousand percent.
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  And the reason for that is, when you pull all the pieces together, when you start
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  to decondition your design, then you start to feel like anything is possible for you.
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  You're able to align with possibility.
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  Now, let me break down what conditioning is and how it shows up for us.
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  Energetically what conditioning is.
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  Now, you know how we talk about it.
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  We say deconditioning the not self of the undefined ego is not feeling worthy.
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  I'm not enough.
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  Deconditioning, the not self of the head center is thinking about problems and
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  trying to solve problems that aren't yours to solve, that aren't important for you.
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  Thinking about things that don't matter.
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  We have these not self themes.
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  I want to take this a level deeper.
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  Conditioning is the underlying beliefs that you have usually
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  connected to those themes.
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  That's why human design gives us the in, it tells us, this
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  is where we want to look.
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  This is the map that we can use to figure out where our beliefs might be hiding, and
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  where they might be doing the most damage, and what way might they be showing up.
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  So in that open ego, we can listen for that voice of saying, I'm not good
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  enough, but then we have to go a level deeper, which is what I do with EFT.
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  We can't just say, I am worthy.
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  I am enough.
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  Cause that's words again.
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  And quite frankly, our energy might saying bullshit.
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  If we're saying I am worthy, I am enough.
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  Even if you have a defined ego, it might be bullshit because you were taught
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  to not trust that you were enough.
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  Even though you have consistency and capacity for that.
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  I count myself as one of those people.
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  I have a defined ego and I did not feel like enough for most of my life.
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  So what do we do with that?
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  How do we connect with what we want to be the truth?
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  What maybe we intellectually know is the truth.
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  I knew I was worthy.
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  I knew I was enough.
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  But I had conditioning that made me feel like that was not true.
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  So how do I align my energy with what I intellectually
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  know, or want to connect to?
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  How do I connect with the affirmation?
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  How do I connect with the belief?
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  How do I take a belief like my success is inevitable and connect to that?
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  Like everything, there is an energetic and a strategic part to this.
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  To connect to something like your success is inevitable, which if
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  you can connect to that belief, you can pretty much do anything.
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  But I chose these two mantras.
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  Your success is inevitable, and everything is working out in your favor.
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  These two are tenets that if you live by them, if you can really connect
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  to these, you can truly create success in every area of your life.
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  It will change your life.
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  But you can't just say them.
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  You have to really believe them.
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  You have to really connect to them.
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  So the energetic part of that is you have to look at the beliefs that have
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  been instilled in you, the energy.
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  What do you really feel when you connect to your success as inevitable?
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  Is it, it's not inevitable.
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  You're not enough.
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  Is that the truth?
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  If it is, then you have to look at that.
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  You have to be willing to look your shadow right in the face and observe
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  it, without necessarily acting on it, you don't want to give it more
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  energy, but can you look at it and say the truth of it, that it's there?
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  And then can you start to transcend it by going into it and dealing with the
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  emotion that is tied to that belief?
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  This is what makes EFT so powerful to me, is that it allows us a therapeutic
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  way to go into those emotions, to work through them and actually move
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  them out of our body because it's the emotion that tethers a belief to us.
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  It's not the belief itself.
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  I'm not enough.
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  If you know it not to be true, that should be enough, right?
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  No, I'm absolutely enough.
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  Here's all the proof.
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  Here's my badass list.
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  Here's all the ways that I am wonderful.
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  We can do all of that work.
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  but energetically, if you are emotionally attached to it, if there's some trauma
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  that made you feel like you were not enough, then you've got to deal with that.
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  So that's the energetic side.
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  The strategic side is, if you don't have anything built, if you haven't built
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  a way to make your success inevitable, if you haven't taken steps to create
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  the strategic elements if you don't have offers that are aligned, if you
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  don't have a sales system, if you don't have a way for people to connect
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  with you and to be nurtured by you.
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  If you don't have all of those pieces together in a way that feels like they
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  are working, then it will be difficult to feel like your success is inevitable.
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  But here's the beauty of it is once you do build those things, it is so easy to
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  feel like your success is inevitable.
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  And Kaitlin and I were talking about this in her interview during the masterclass.
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  She's like, I can see it now.
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  I can see the finish line.
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  And I know the finish line will move, like there will be another
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  goal past that, but I can see it.
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  And now it just feels like, I'm on my way there.
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  That's what happens when you have the strategic and the
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  energetic work in alignment.
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  When you're laying the foundation and the infrastructure for what you need
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  to make it happen but at the same time you are dealing with the beliefs that
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  are keeping you from executing that strategy that you're putting together
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  effectively and keeping you from feeling open to actually going down that path.
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  This is the work that most people miss.
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  They do the strategy stuff.
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  Maybe some of it works.
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  Maybe some of it doesn't.
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  But they keep pushing the strategic element.
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  Keep learning a new tactic.
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  Keep showing up and launching.
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  But they haven't really prepared for the launch.
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  They haven't gotten people into the launch.
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  They don't have an offer that aligns with what they're teaching in the launch.
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  There's all of these strategic elements that maybe are not working, right?
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  But they're still building them, and they're looking for the next thing,
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  and the next thing, and the next thing.
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  But they never really deal with the energetic elements that are coming up.
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  The roadblocks that they are continuing to have thrown up in their way, and they keep
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  looking for a new tactic to get past it.
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  That isn't how success is created.
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  Success is created by opening up to new levels of possibility within yourself.
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  You'll start to find that your strategic stuff will start working so
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  much more consistently and effectively when you open up energetically.
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  This is playing the energetic game, and the strategic game.
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  You can't do just one.
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  You can't just be strategic because you will be bumping up against yourself
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  and your beliefs and all the things that you are refusing to look at.
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  Whatever it is that you are avoiding feeling is the thing that you need to look
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  at and I guarantee you that is the stone that you will move, and it will clear
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  your path in more ways than you can count.
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  But most people won't do that work.
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  Or, conversely, they are doing all the energetic work and they are not
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  laying any strategic foundation.
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  They have a few tactics that maybe worked or didn't work, but their way of avoiding
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  is falling in love with the healing.
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  So I love your success is inevitable, my success is inevitable as a
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  benchmark mantra to test yourself with how much do you believe?
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  How deeply do you believe in what you are doing and the way that you are
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  doing it in how you are showing up?
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  How are you triggered?
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  When we say the phrase, my success is inevitable.
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  Say that out loud and notice where you feel it in your body.
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  Does it feel like an opening?
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  Do you feel excited by it?
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  Do you feel like, yes, it is, or do you feel a little shut down by it?
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  What's the thought that comes up?
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  What's the belief that comes up?
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  What's the truth?
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  The truth will set you free.
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  But we have to be willing to look at it.
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  We have to be willing to go into it and we have to be willing to transmute
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  it into something else, taking that pain and being able to transmute it
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  into something that works for us.
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  That's what everything works out in my favor really means.
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  Then if you can look at your life as a constant unfolding, when you encounter an
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  obstacle, that it was somehow put there for the purpose of you overcoming it,
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  that obstacles exist, that triggers exist, that difficulty exists because those are
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  the necessary traits, skills, or things you need to let go of in order to get
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  everything that you've been asking for.
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  Can you treat life like a game?
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  And that's the beauty of human design, and the deconditioning work can make
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  that process go a whole lot faster.
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  And like I said, I use EFT and I don't normally release these, but we do
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  have a mini deconditioning library.
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  If you are interested in doing that, this is a taster of my EFT tappings.
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  So this is not a free thing.
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  This is actually a small little program.
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  We usually only offer it as a add on to our bigger programs,
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  but I'm gonna throw it out here.
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  Just DM me the word tapping on Instagram, if you'd like the link
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  for that, and I did not plan this.
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  So we'll have a URL for you down in the show notes.
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  If you want to just click through there, or just DM me the word tapping
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  on Instagram and I'll send you whatever link we ended up setting up for this.
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  So I use EFT tapping to get through this process of the
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  energetic side much, much faster.
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  This is how we start to move our emotions So that they are
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  no longer holding us back.
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  So that we're able to energetically connect with something like, my
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  success is inevitable, and actually have it feel like the truth.
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  That is one thing that I come back to this phrase, my success is inevitable,
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  and whenever I say it now, there is a level of, of course it is.
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  Absolutely it is.
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  And I know I did not have that always.
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  I remember not having it.
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  I remember saying, my success is inevitable, and it just feeling like hope.
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  It did not feel inevitable.
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  It felt like something if I keep saying this enough, maybe
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  I'll start to believe it.
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  But that's not what made me believe it.
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  What made me believe it was deconditioning all the beliefs and
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  emotions and trauma and stuck stuff that made me think that it wasn't true.
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  I had to deal with the beliefs that I had.
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  That I was not enough was a huge one.
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  And then I had to start showing up with a strategy.
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  So that every day it felt like I was getting closer and not further away.
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  So I hope that this inspires you to do the energetic and the strategic work wherever
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  you get that support and however it is that you choose to go down those paths.
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  But I just felt like this was such a theme that was hitting home for me, and I
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  thought it might be hitting home for you.
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  So I hope that we did our job here and that we inspired you to take
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  action in both of these areas.
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  And if you would like to check out the mini deconditioning library, I have a
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  whole big one, but the small one, the mini deconditioning library, just DM
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  me the word tapping on Instagram and we will send you the link directly there.
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  Or go down to the show notes and see whatever the link is that we
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  put down there for you, because I don't have a URL for you.
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  But thank you so much for being here.
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  Thank you for making it all the way to the end of this episode with me.
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  I appreciate you.
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  And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must
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  first become an unshakeable human.
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  So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design, everyone.
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  We'll see you next time.
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  If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show
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  us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to
• 18:37
  the show and leave us a review.
• 18:38
  And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human
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  design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
• 18:46
  Go to nicolelaino.
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  me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human
• 18:51
  design reading with me, or access our free human design resources.
• 18:54
  We'll see you there.