Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - One Man's Trash Is Another's Treasure

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Hour 3 - One Man's Trash Is Another's Treasure · The Ben Maller Show

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  Speaker 1: Here we go. It's like Mojoe Rising in our number
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  Speaker 1: three of the Ben Mahler Show or Minder Benny Versus
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  Speaker 1: For Mallard monologues, you can see what an ugly radio
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  Speaker 1: guy looks while doing a monologue that would be yours truly.
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  Speaker 1: Here in hour three, buy or sell forty nine Ers
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  Speaker 1: defensive coordinator Robert salah yep, the former Jets coach getting
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  Speaker 1: interviews for head coaching gigs in the news cycle on
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  Speaker 1: the coaching carousel. Do you agree with Lawrence Taylor's assessment
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  Speaker 1: of Abdul Carter needing to wake up with the Giants?
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  Speaker 1: And would Klin de Boor to Penn State that's the
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  Speaker 1: Alabama coach to Penn State make any sense at all?
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  Speaker 1: As he denied anything about that story, we'll go there
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  Speaker 1: as well. Here it is. Buckle up, don't forget fifth
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  Speaker 1: hour Benny Versus the Penny. But here's our number three. Well,
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  Speaker 1: one man's trash is another man's treasure. Wel come in
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  Speaker 1: the beginning of another hour of the Ben Maler Show.
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  Speaker 1: Rack That's right, ti Iraq. For over forty years, Tyraq
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  Speaker 1: tire rac dot com, the way Tirebink showy. So our
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  Speaker 1: lead this hour is from the carousel. The coaching carousel
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  Speaker 1: is one name. One name is already gaining some real
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  Speaker 1: traction across the NFL. We didn't have a game last night.
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  Speaker 1: The Detroit Lions mollywopped the Dallas Cowboys. That was a
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  Speaker 1: mollywop situation there in that particular game. But our ore
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  Speaker 1: lead this hour not from that, from the coaching carousel.
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  Speaker 1: So the name that is picking up some steam here.
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  Speaker 1: If you didn't see this, pay me not, that would
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  Speaker 1: be forty nine or defensive coordinator Robert Salah. Yes, that
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  Speaker 1: is the same guy that coached the Jets, and it
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  Speaker 1: was the same old sorry ass Jets, the Jets, the
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  Speaker 1: forty six year old Robert Sala back at the cool
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  Speaker 1: kids table. If you believe the noise, that's a good
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  Speaker 1: jumping off point. So let us discuss the question on
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  Speaker 1: this one. Are you gonna buy or sell forty nine
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  Speaker 1: ers defensive coordinator Robert Salah getting interviews for head coaching gigs.
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  Speaker 1: So my views on this, I've got Eskimo's Ikea and
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  Speaker 1: Jungle Jim, and we will combine all of these things
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  Speaker 1: together and we are gonna make the Babaganos. We're gonna
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  Speaker 1: make the baba Ganouosh is what we're gonna make. Yeah,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I know, I know. Zoom zoom, watch out, watch out indeed.
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  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's good times, good times. All right. So,
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  Speaker 1: first of all, I absolutely am buying this. I'm not
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  Speaker 1: selling it. I'm buying that Robert Salad is going to
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  Speaker 1: be getting some interviews here and maybe more, maybe more.
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  Speaker 1: And here's why. Because the NFL, the Annual Coaching Cattle Auction,
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  Speaker 1: that is the NFL in that world, Robert Salas suddenly
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  Speaker 1: looks like Kobe beef and he is surrounded by that
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  Speaker 1: fake vegetarian beef, that non meat stuff. Yeah, and there's
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  Speaker 1: a little dollar store Hamburger over there, but it's mostly
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  Speaker 1: it's mostly the vegan meat, which is not real meat.
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  Speaker 1: And Robert Salad is a silver tongue devil, a master
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  Speaker 1: salesman who could hawk ice cubes to Eskimos and he'd
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  Speaker 1: be riding on the Siberian Express and he said, hey,
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  Speaker 1: would you like some ice cubes. No, I'm an escabo.
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  Speaker 1: I don't need ice cubes. I've got plenty of cold
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  Speaker 1: snow all that stuff. But these are really good ice cubes.
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  Speaker 1: But I don't need them. Trust me, you need them.
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  Speaker 1: They're magical ice cubes. But I have plenty of ice.
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  Speaker 1: I don't need them. I'm an Eskimo. It doesn't matter.
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  Speaker 1: Robert Salas says, you have to get them, and then
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  Speaker 1: you get them and you pay for them, and on
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  Speaker 1: the I'll tell you what the difference was for me.
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  Speaker 1: The pivot point was on that recent Monday night game
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  Speaker 1: forty nine Ers and Carolina believe it was a couple
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  Speaker 1: weeks ago. On the broadcast Joe Buck and Troy Aikman,
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  Speaker 1: it was almost indecent. They gave him a bubble bath,
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  Speaker 1: a sponge bath, a full body spa treatment. They showed
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  Speaker 1: him more love on that broadcast than Kyle Shanahan, who's
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  Speaker 1: the actual, you know, head coach. Now, when the National
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: TV megaphone starts giving you a sponge bath, that is
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  Speaker 1: the NFL's version of, Hey, let's get this guy a
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  Speaker 1: job again. It's gotta be the most I'd love to
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  Speaker 1: be a fly in the in the room here. And
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  Speaker 1: because Robert salam must be like the coolest guy in
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  Speaker 1: the world, every broadcaster just gets They just they get
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  Speaker 1: knee pads on and they get they get a chubby.
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  Speaker 1: When they talk about Robert salads wild for a guy
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  Speaker 1: that was an abject failure as a head coach. He's
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  Speaker 1: got he's got this personality, this magnetic personality, and he
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  Speaker 1: showed with the Niners when he's had good personality. They
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  Speaker 1: Niners don't even have great personnel this year. Their top
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  Speaker 1: two defensive players are out in Fred Warner and Bosa.
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  Speaker 1: Those guys are out, and yet you know, still looks good.
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  Speaker 1: And when Robert Salas coached inferior players as a head coach,
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  Speaker 1: he's attack as in TAC total average coach. He's totally
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  Speaker 1: average as a coach. And with the Jets, regardless, right
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  Speaker 1: that that is not going to stop desperate teams from
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  Speaker 1: talking themselves in, from convincing themselves that he's the next
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  Speaker 1: defensive savant. And you know, ask for Robert sala I'm
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  Speaker 1: you know, saying I'm focused. Now you give this quote,
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  Speaker 1: I'm focused on the now and I want to help
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  Speaker 1: these players win a Super Bowl and all that stuff.
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  Speaker 1: Take a deep breath. That quote is capital I irrelevant.
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  Speaker 1: It is capital M meaningless and capital B boiler plate.
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  Speaker 1: All right, that's imb irrelevant, meaningless boilerplate. Every coach. Every
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  Speaker 1: coach says that. Well, they say that while they're keeping
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  Speaker 1: their suitcase half zipped just in case the private jet
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  Speaker 1: shows up. And if the right offer pops up, which
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  Speaker 1: is pretty much any offer. If you took the Jets job,
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  Speaker 1: you would take any job, wouldn't you If the right
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  Speaker 1: offer pops up. Let's say I don't know, Tennessee or
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  Speaker 1: Tampa Bay ends up flaming out and they get rid
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  Speaker 1: of their coaching staff in Tampa and that job or
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  Speaker 1: Atlanta that's more of a possibility, then Robert Sally will
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  Speaker 1: be gone faster than a blackjack dealer wiping the table
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  Speaker 1: after you bust out at the table. Now, secondly, we
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  Speaker 1: now go to Gotham. More chatter, more chatter on everyone's
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: sleepy NFL player, The Giants sleepy time star guy drafted
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: near the very top of the NFL draft because he
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: has elite sleeping ability. We're talking about edge rusher Abdul Carter,
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  Speaker 1: who has been guilty of not showing up on time.
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  Speaker 1: Abdual Carter has regularly arrived late to team meetings, has
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  Speaker 1: even fallen asleep during sessions. There's a video that's gone
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  Speaker 1: around of him dozing off and that has led to
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  Speaker 1: multiple punishments, internal punishments. There have been now a couple
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  Speaker 1: of benchings that have gone public for Abdul Carter up
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  Speaker 1: into this point. Up until this point, he has been
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  Speaker 1: a major disappointment. Not a total buzz, but a major disappointment.
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  Speaker 1: You drafted a guy thinking he was going to be
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  Speaker 1: one way and he hasn't been that way, especially considering
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  Speaker 1: the level of expectations, the amount of hype that this guy,
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  Speaker 1: much of it he put on himself. And so Giants legend,
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  Speaker 1: Lawrence Taylor, I heard he was pretty good at football
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  Speaker 1: and loved cocaine. So Lawrence who doesn't Lawrence Taylor, the
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  Speaker 1: Giants Legend, has entered the chat. He was asked about
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  Speaker 1: Abdull Carter's issues and lt said, wake up. He says,
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  Speaker 1: this is what you worked for, this is where you
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  Speaker 1: want to be, So now you are there, let's wake up.
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  Speaker 1: That's a quote from Lawrence Taylor to the tabloid newspaper,
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  Speaker 1: the New York Post there in the Big Apple. So
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  Speaker 1: the question do you agree with Lawrence Taylor's assessment that
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  Speaker 1: Abdulla Carter needs to wake up with the Giants. So
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  Speaker 1: the obvious thing is, yeah, he needs to wake up
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  Speaker 1: because he fell asleep in team meetings. Like LT's acting
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  Speaker 1: like the thunderbolt of truth here. And he did not
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  Speaker 1: sugarcoat it. He could have gone a little stronger. He
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  Speaker 1: didn't sprinkle cinnamon on it. He said, wake up, literally
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  Speaker 1: and figuratively. You asked for greatness. Start acting like a
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  Speaker 1: guy who actually wants Now. Remember Abduall Carter came in
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  Speaker 1: making all kinds of noises. He was like, I want
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  Speaker 1: to wear number fifty six. Well you can't wear number
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  Speaker 1: fifty six. It's retired. Well I want to wear it. Well, yeah,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: it was retired. Well they shouldn't retire. Well we agree
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: they shouldn't retire, but they retired it. That's LT's number.
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  Speaker 1: We got to ask Lawrence Tail. Okay, ask Lawrence Ted. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: I'll ask Lawrence Tail. Hey, LT, can this guy, Abdull
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  Speaker 1: Carter wear your number? No, he can't. Okay, that's it.
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  Speaker 1: Oops a daisy, oopsidaisy. Abdul Carter was hyped out of
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  Speaker 1: college as a plug and play assassin for the Giants,
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  Speaker 1: Like this is just plug him in and forget about him.
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  Speaker 1: Set it and forget it. Like Ron Pole Peele said
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: back in the day, the great infomercialman Ron pop Peele
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  Speaker 1: said it and forget it, and you'll have an elite
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  Speaker 1: pass rusher for the next five years. And Abdul Carter
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  Speaker 1: showed up and right out of the box, and he
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  Speaker 1: was missing half the parts, and there were no instructions
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  Speaker 1: and there were no YouTube videos to watch. And this
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  Speaker 1: guy was sold as ready made terminator, Abdul Carter, ready
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  Speaker 1: made terminator, and instead he's the Ikea bookshelf wobbling in
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  Speaker 1: the corner because somebody, somebody skipped step three right. The
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: giants thought they were drafting instant impact. What they got
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  Speaker 1: was a player who needs a wake up call and
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  Speaker 1: apparently a babysitter, possibly a butler to drag his ass
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  Speaker 1: into the meeting room before he faced plants into dreamland again.
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  Speaker 1: And I guess he'll find his mom or something. You know,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: when your mom can't go to work with you, but
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  Speaker 1: maybe you need your mom to go to work. And
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  Speaker 1: right now, Abdol Carter is the NFL's version of a
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Jack in the box that never pops up. Not the
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: actual restaurant jack in the box. I'm talking about jack
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  Speaker 1: in the box that never pops up. Expectation without payoff
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  Speaker 1: and so in that regard, lt he nailed it. Two words,
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  Speaker 1: wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: wake up? All right, final fhe to Tusca Loosa, we
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: go college football. Kaylin de Boor putting the Moore in
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  Speaker 1: Deboor Alabama. We'll see what happens here. But Alabama's still
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: right in the mix for all the goodies and all
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  Speaker 1: the joy and all that in college football, even though
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: they haven't been that great by Nick Saban Alabama standards.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: But he's not there anymore. So Kleem de Boor has
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  Speaker 1: been the head coach of the Crimson Tide for two
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  Speaker 1: seasons now, two seasons and there's already chatter that he's out.
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  Speaker 1: Quote now, last year there was some speculation that Caleb
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  Speaker 1: deb Or, Kaylen de ber rather was going to be
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  Speaker 1: let go on his own. Now it is he's going
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  Speaker 1: to leave, and he's looking at him now. None of
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  Speaker 1: you believe him, because Klen de Bor vehemently denied those
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  Speaker 1: rumors that popped up for like an hour, like an
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  Speaker 1: hour that he could end up at Penn State, and
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  Speaker 1: he said, quote, we are extremely happy at Alabama. This
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  Speaker 1: is a quote from Kln de Boor. We are extremely happier,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: love the challenge, love the grind, love this place. And
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  Speaker 1: there's never been any link. There's never been any conversation.
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  Speaker 1: There's never been any interest either way with Penn State,
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  Speaker 1: Debor said as they got ready for the SEC championship
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  Speaker 1: match up there in his news conference, so he said, so,
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  Speaker 1: I'm glad we can put that to bed right now.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: You want to bet he actually added some fire there, dummy,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: He had a little fuel through the fire. So the question,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: would Kalin de Boor to Penn State make any kind
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: of sense? We know what he said, right, we know,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: But would it make any sense? That's the question. So
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: let's slice this blooney sandwich and we'll slice it in half.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: And we made sure that blooney was cut real thin,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: thin cut baloney, and Kalein de Bor to Penn State.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: It actually does make sense if you're looking for a
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: lifeboat off Carnival's infamous poop cruise ship where the DJ
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: is still insisting everything's fine while there's feces floating around
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: the floor. There, Debor walked into Alabama replacing the football
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: version of the Mona Lisa. Well, we don't have the
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Mona Lisa anymore. Okay, you don't have it. Who do
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: we have, Kalen de boor you're following Nick Saban, knowing
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: full well he'd never be adored, cherished and canonized and
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: lionized like the man whose shoes he's temporarily borrowing. At
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: this point, I don't care how many doors you knock on,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: how many babies you kiss, and how many photos you take.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. That's Mount Everest level, climbing the thin air,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: frostbite Sherpa's side, eyeing you the whole way. Now, if
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: you were to go to pensate again, this is all hypothetical.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: It's talk radio. That's not Mount Everest. That's not Mount Everest.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: That in comparison to following Nick Saban, that is jungle
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: gym behind the YMCA, where the only danger is slipping
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: on a melted fruit roll up from back in July.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: It's still there. I don't know why it's still there,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: but that's it. The difficulty level drops faster than a
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: piano in a cartoon. And let's be honest, Happy Valley
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: is chasing rainbows. La la la la la la la
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: la la la la. They've been turned down more times
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: than a cyclops at a speed dating event, blinking furiously
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: for a Yes, it just is not going well, not
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: going well, and reporters now are essentially throwing darts in
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: a blackout, praying one accidentally hits the bullseye. We had
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: the BYU coach, and then the crumble cookie guy came
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: in and said, we'll charge eighty five dollars for our cookies,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: but we want to keep the BYU coach. Okay, we'll
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: keep the BYU coach and he won't go to Penn State.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: We'll pay him ten million dollars a year or whatever
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: it is and for debor though Penn State would be
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: a lateral move. However, if he has the same success
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: he's had at Alabama and wins a few big games,
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: that would be better than the guy that Penn State
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: just got rid of. He'd be treated like Springsteen walking
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: into an open mic night? Now is it likely?
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Know?
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: In fact, the latest rumor has already popped up here
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Iowa State coach Matt Campbell from the Cyclones, not the Cyclopsis,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: the Cyclones. He has emerged as the latest flavor of
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: the week for Penn State's head coaching search. We'll keep
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: an eye on that, but it's all a speculation stew,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: extra spicy with lots of chili pepper on top, a
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: lot of chili pemper. Let me tell you something right there,
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of chili paper. It is
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  Speaker 1: us right now at eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox.
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  Speaker 1: Riddle of the Day. And here it is the Mallard really, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: you know what it is? Oh, here it is all right,
• 18:42
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  Speaker 1: I have no idea. That is Spurst broadcaster Jacob Toby
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  Speaker 1: used blank live on the air, stunning people that we're watching.
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  Speaker 1: Spurs broadcaster Jacob Toby used blank live on the air,
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• 20:20
  Speaker 1: List on Saturdays and Sundays. Got to do the Honeydews
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: the honeydew Dos, And that's available wherever you get your podcasts.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: It's pretty much just ranting and raving about whatever pops
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: into the head there. It's normally how that goes and
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: check that out. Also going to be part of the
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: show on the X Machine. That's at Bean Malor at
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Ben Maller, our friend Marky Mark the fresh Prince of Chicago.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Mark Ramsey is his name, and radio is his game.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: M a rci Oh and the Coop de Loop, the
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: long suffering Coop the loop at a Bronco fan apparently
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: likes the Broncos. A Bronco fan there for Coop a Loop,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: back to it, back to it and time now for
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: the Malor Riddle of the day. Here's the Mallor Riddle
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: of the day. So the Spurs I used to know
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: their radio guy. Yess he retired. He's doing college basketball
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: stuff now. But Bill Shoning, longtime voice of the Spurs.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Good dude, good music guy. Hey, what the current Spurs
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: broadcaster is? Somebody named Jacob Toby used blank live on
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: the air. Many people were very surprised by this when
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: they were watching the Spurs broadcast. All seven of them
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: were very, very surprised that. I can't believe that is
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: what is up with that? I don't understand. So that
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: is the mallor riddle of the day. Let's see hear
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Paul got it right obviously. Mike the Leprechaun says, sunblock
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: lotion shocked everyone. Truck or Joe says he used his
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: pronouns that was remember that was big a couple of
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: years ago. Oh my god. Let's see here, Black and
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Blum says, some kind of vibrating device. You might you
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: might say, is that's the answer. What else do we have?
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Let's see page down. I can't read that on the air.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: All right, That's that's I mean, some of these are
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: so I don't know what's the word offensive? I guess
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: would be the you know, I mean, you guys understand,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: I know we're all friends. Here and it's the middle
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: of the night, and I think we should all say
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: whatever we want to say. But for some reason there's
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: government oversight that I have to deal with. What I
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: have to deal with the government over that makes no
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: sense anyway. The correct answer is a Spurs broadcaster Jacob
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: Toby used smelling so live on the air, Live on
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: the air, he use smelling salts. I don't recall ever
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: using smelling salts. Did they actually work? Because every once
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: in a while doing the overnight shows, sometimes I'll be sleepy,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: like you know, and there's a couple of ways you
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: can go. You could just do cocaine. I don't want
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: to do that. How much do smelling salts cost? They
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: can't cost that much, right, you know, Buy some smelling
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: salts and I'll use for entertainment purposes only. I'll get
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: some smelling salts. I'll just kind of see what we
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: can do with those. Yeah, maybe yeah, use it on
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: the air. People like, well, wow, that's kind of crazy.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: What do you do because at the time they might
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: have known what that was.
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: All.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Let's go to the phones and let's see any meenie
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: miney moe. You got the doc. He's back baby, Doc
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Mike from the Valley of the Sun, Mister Chicago in Arizone. Nah,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: don't you get.
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: It, pal, how you're doing, buddy?
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Doc? Has been too long, Doc Mike. We miss you.
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: I know. I've been sleeping like a baby in Chicago
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: every night, working hard all summer. Now I'm back in
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: the Valley of the Sun. I'm in Phoenix right now.
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: I'll be in Tucson Sunday night for the next four months.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: For four months, You're going to be in Tucson. That's
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: a long time.
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: Well, I just wait for the snow to melt in Chicago,
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: then I head back here.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I missed the days when you went to Ecuador. Remember
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: those days back in Ecuador.
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: Oh that was that was the That was the valley
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: over there, all at camel Toe and so on. It's
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: a real blast down there.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: I bet you did. Yeah, all right, Well you called it.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: You're just doing a check in. Just you call, I call.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: I talked to you the other day off the air.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: We had a conversation. We caught up a little bit
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: on the life and times of Doc Mike. And you
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: look like you're about twenty five years old, Doc, And
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: it's all because of the fruit smoothie or something like that.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It's whatever. The urine, it's the urine therapy, right,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: the urine therapy.
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: You're in therapy. And we got camel urine now.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: And is what is so special about camel urine.
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: It's a real high pH right from the camel. You
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: don't have to age the urine to have the pH spike.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: So that's a top. Now, what's what's the number two
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: behind a camel? What would it be like a donkey
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: or something like that. What what urine is behind the camel?
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: Would it be uh second place?
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like an elephant urine?
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: No cow cow six new cow urine. Well, the Hindus
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: have been drinking.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: That must be. That must be so cheap because there's
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: so many cows. They Imagine how much when a cow
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: goes to the bathroom. Imagine how much that must take
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: half hour for them to go to the bathroom.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: Right, and then you can immediately wash it down with milk.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: There's six perfect and have a steak.
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: Take. There's six new patents in Washington, d C. The
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: FDA for cow urine curing cancer. Wait till that pops
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: up with Kennedy.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: Imagine all our all our issues saved by the urine.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: That would be the way to go.
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: NK.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I'm all for it, toy. You can fix cancer with urine.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: I'm there, man, sign me up for that. I'll be
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: drinking urine right and left. Come on now.
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I've been doing it since nineteen sixty five and
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: then my clinics ninety.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Eight, ninety eight. All right, so nineteen that's.
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: When I opened my clinics. Yeah, I'll tell you what
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: you know you've got. You've got a M nine ten
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: here in Phoenix, and I listened to you all day long,
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: to Fox, and I think there's a good thank you
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: in Tucson, another Fox there. Why don't the wallet and
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: get a affiliate in Chicago?
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: What what?
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: What?
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Doc? I've tried to explain. I know you're of a
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: previous generation, but we are on people. We have many
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: listeners in Chicago now, Doc, we're on satellite radio in Chicago.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: We have the iHeart app, which is massive, it's a monster,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: and we're on that. And so people's listening habits have changed, Doc,
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: And and so people, can you want to hear the show?
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: You were?
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: They were?
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: We were?
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: We were that. That's how I know we were on
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: the score in Chicago, and that's how I found you
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: and you found me. And don't Doc, I don't make
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: those decisions. Doc. I don't know what to tell you, buddy.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: You've been home, but I know I'm well aware of
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: your history, Doc, and I gave you. I gave you
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: my number and and you've called me ever since. But
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I love you, man, You're my guy. And during the pandemic,
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: you booked the show, Doc, remember you were booking guests
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: for the show that you're a guy from Colorado. You
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: booked on the show.
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: See he's now won in the show for yeah, all right,
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: all right, Well some more for you too, if you
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: want me to. I'm good Chicago.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Well you could buy a radio station. They only couple
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: three million dollars and then well you've got the money obviously,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: so that's no problem. I listen, I gotta go. Doc
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: will catch up. You're a man. We love you. Be
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: safe in Arizona. There the great Doc Mike, who's been
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: with me for pretty much the full journey here on
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Fox Sports Rader Me and Doc Mike. We go way, way,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: way way back. I mean it has been pretty and
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: pretty well, Tom says, didn't you try smelling salts before
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: the initials game on k Fan. I should have, Tom,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I should have done smelling salts. I couldn't have done
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: much worse. Although I did get one right. Although some
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: of you guys who listened to the Power Chips said
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: it's well, it doesn't really count because it was the
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: bonus time. But I count that I didn't get shut out,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: and really the goal was to not get shut out.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: We go from Doc to the Dick, Dick in Dayton,
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: the greatest caller from the state of Ohio, which is
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: really a country, right Dick and Dayton in many respects,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Ohio is like his own sovereign country.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Tha, good morning, Happy holidays, then everybody.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: Happy holidays, Happy holidays, Happy holidays.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: Will Saturdays is going to tell about the Buck guys.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: What is season Ryan day had And I'm predicting them
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: to win, maybe thirty four to twenty to win. That's
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: the champion.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: You're calling your shot right now. That's a that's a
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: big time game. And they've got you know what they have, Dick,
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: They have championship pedigree. Yeah, the Buck guys, right, I
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: get that championship pedigree. Now are you going to be
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: able to watch the game or are you going to
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: be busy?
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: No, I'll be able to watch the game. Now. I'm
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: thinking the Pigles with Joe Burrow back. They've always played
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: pretty good in Buffalo. But if Bill Burrow gets a
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: hot hand, I think they can upset Buffalo. I really do.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think the Bengals are on the right side
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: in terms of gambling. I have that game on Benny
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: versus the Penning this weekend. Ohio State is a four
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: point favorite over the Hoosiers a four point favorite there, Dick,
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: So the Buckeys are favorite to win that game. Isn't
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: it crazy? Your entire life? The Indiana Hoosiers have been
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: terrible at football, and the last couple of years have
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: actually been good. It's very odd, isn't it When a
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: team's bad that long and then all of a sudden
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: they become good at something. It's like that, doesn't they
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: don't belong there? What's up with that? Yeah?
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: And you know, it's just there's only five games left.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: But I think heads are good at Rowling Cleveland though.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: It's just such a bad year for them, you know.
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: And I say.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: We get Bernie Bernie or Mark, Well, you know, call
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: your back because it's just over and over. They just
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: keep losing, you know, and it's not good.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: That's not good. Would you would you consider a front
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: office for all, Dick? If they called you up and say, hey, Dick,
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: we need you, would you consider that?
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I wondered too. I'm booked. Uh, I'm playing today
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: with the String Benders, and then.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Uh John, that's wonderful, man, I got a show with
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: h John my friend, and probably meet a lot of people.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: We're going to try to get the Banjo group, and
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: then I'm playing in this group of bamba.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, wait time. Are you talking about the
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: Kettering Banjo Society?
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: Yes?
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, oh my god, that is that is that's like
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: the Beatles forming again. That are you serious? No, that
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: is unbelievable. That's like the Stones getting together. Mike got
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: the Keting Banjo Society is going to play again. Yeah,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: that's awesome.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: And then the String Benders today, and then Debbie's group
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: from Miamisburg is good. We've been playing Oh.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the the what what the the Miami's Burg the
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Dolesmore Society. Yeah, and and but you told us a
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: couple of months ago the Clifton Opera House is no
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: longer the thing, right, you don't do that, and it's.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: We're getting remodeled. But it's it's good.
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: Okay, Yeah, I got it.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: And you're still you're still the big the big three.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: I just want to remember here, banjo, mandolin, guitar? Is
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: that your big three?
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: You all the ukulele? Eventually you got it. I got it.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: I don't think I had ukulele. Okay, ukulele mandolin, but guitar,
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: no guitar.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can play guitar. I can play the chords
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: of the guitar.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: I got you. We love you, have a great have
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: a great time. I'm so happy you're performing. And where
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: can people see you perform? Is this something people can
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: go out and watch the performers?
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: That the priming that's shooting bend. My friend Paul comes
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: to see me every week and you.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Know, well where's it? Where's it at? Like, is there
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: a venue that people can's listening locally? Yeah? Right there
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: in the in in Dayton and uh just near Dayton.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: And all right, well, thank you, thank you, have a great,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: great weekend. Bye bye, all right there he goes, bye bye.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: There the great Dick and Dayton. Mate, these guys, these
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: guys have been with me. How loyal these men are.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: These guys have been with me for twenty plus years.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: These guys have been listening to me. How crazy is that?
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Where is the time gone? Where has the time gone?
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: These guys unbelievable. They're my guys. I don't care if
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: you don't like them. They're my friends. I talk to
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: my friends is what I do here. Anyway, we will
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: have Big Bend's Lame Jokes of the Week for the
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: rest of the hour, all the great Zingers. Is weed
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: Man there? Do we have weed Man? Is he there?
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: I don't know he is there? Okay, good, I've been
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: given the Okay, we will have that Big Ben's Lame
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: Jokes of the week. We'll get to that. We will
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: do it next.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: Bill Miller and you. You're locked in on The Ben
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Maller Show up all night, every single night, and don't
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: do shoutouts, do a mention for Doc Mike the iHeart
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: Radio app. It's not nineteen sixty seven anymore. You can
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: actually listen on the app. Now you can stream us
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: wherever you happen to be. Catch the Ben Mahler Show
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: and all the other braggadocious, ambastic blowhearts that have all
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: of life's answers when it comes to sports. On Fox
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Sports Radio twenty four to seven, all night, every night,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: the improved and new and improved iHeartRadio app. Now on
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: the app you can not only listen to the Ben
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: Maler Show, you can listen to the Fifth Hour Podcast.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: You can become a p one by having the Ben
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Matherer Show, Fifth Hour Podcast, and Fox Sports Radio all
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: as your presets. And that way, I use the iHeart
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: app all the time, like I'm on the tread Miller whatever.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: I got to think. I'm not kidding? Are you just
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: saying that?
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: No?
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: I'm not. And I have the right there at the top.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: I have the show and the podcast, and of course
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: I'm completely unbiased. But check it out the iHeartRadio app.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: Knock Knock, Who's there? Blame Week? Blame week too. It's
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: Big Ben's lame joke of the week.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: By the way we go, it's Big Ben's lame jokes
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: a week. Eat chin every week at about this time,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: It's big Ben's lame joke of the week and we
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: walcome in my sidekick two segments a week. What a
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: big star. This man is weed Man, hippie from Hollywood, Florida. Hello,
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: weed Man, bron thank you so much. Monday nice.
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: I loved it.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Mondays with the weed Man, Mondays into Tuesdays kind of
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: technically early as we swing the balance over there to
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: early on the Tuesday. All right, are you ready to laugh?
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Weed Man? Are you ready?
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: All right?
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: I hope you're happy that so many people from coast
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: to coast and around the world love busting your balls,
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: weed Man. They just love it. They love goofing on you.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: I love it, all right. Yeah, And that's the great thing.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: You can laugh at yourself. And that's a great gift
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: if you can laugh at yourself. Here we go, because
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: he has long hair. What did weed Man say when
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: someone asked if he was bisexual?
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: Ah?
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: What he said, Nope, I've never paid for it ever,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: never Surfer Todd the comedian. Why is weed Man's belief
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: that he can change the world? What is what is
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: weed Man's belief that he can change the world based
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: on what high hopes? That's a chip in Maine. These
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: are actual jokes by actual listeners. If it's an overnight success,
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: if you would like to send jokes in care of
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: Ben Mahlor Show Ben Mallor Show at gmail dot com.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Why was Weedman walking around Miami with a limp in
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: a cane? Why he was promoting lame jokes? That's Joe
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: in Virginia Beach. You sent that one in. Well, this
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: is interesting. I don't think we've gotten any jokes from
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: this guy before the hut Hut specialist rights and he says,
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: why did Weedman hippie? Why did his toy store in
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: New York clothes?
• 37:56
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Well, apparently weed Man had no concept that he was
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: supposed to order new toys once they were sold. That's
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: at you sold that one. You sold that one cabbage
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: patch doll in nineteen eighty six, and you forgot to
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: order more? Why did we Man? Why did all? Right,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: we'll see what. Why didn't weed Man? Why didn't weed
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Man get any turkey on Thanksgiving? Even though he only
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: had two guests? Oh no, why not? Well, apparently your
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: guests were Bartolo Cologne and Lizzo. That's from Brendan from
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: Busting lame Jokes over the years. We used to just
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: bust Bartolo Colone's balls, and then he retired. Then we
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: moved to Lizzo. Now we've moved to weed Man. How
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: do you know when life is tough?
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Because you catch yourself being jealous of weed Man having
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: his own segment on the radio show. That's a Noah
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: in Austin. Why why should weed Man create an email?
• 38:57
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: Well, he'll never go hung with all the spam he's
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: going to get. That's Noah in Austin. They even have
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: a folder a spamful er. Why did weed Man leave
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: New York City? There's actually three reasons. Why? How about that?
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: Wow?
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Well, the team sucked, The weather sucks, and there are
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: no hurricanes there either. That's Mike the Leprechaun. What what
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: kind of hippie is weed Man?
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: What come?
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: He's a dang dirty hippie. That's true in Minnesota? Why?
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: What is the weed Man's favorite thing about the romantic novels?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: What besides all the pipe he really likes the hair
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: owin Heroin? Right, but Drew and I screwed up Drew
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: in Minnesota? You got the joke? What else do we
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: have this here? What is lorraina and Coop hoping to
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: find at the end of the rainbow. What a gold
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: of pot is that they'd like to find there now
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: the most This is interesting. The most popular girl's name
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: in twenty twenty five was Olivia. And what was the
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: most popular boy's name?
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: What?
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Tyreek Kill Junior? That's uncle Uncle. What's the saddest part
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: of Scott's dating life? Unfortunately every single date it's a
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: blind date. That's a Bobby in Florida. How cold is
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: it in Minnesota?
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 40:32
  Speaker 5: Cold?
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: It's so cold that hollering James claims that he's an Eskimo.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: That's Econ Roseville, Minnesota. What's Jed who Fled's favorite place
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: to spend Christmas? Yeah, his favorite place, Jed who Fled
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: the little town of meth Laham. That's Dan in South
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: Carolina Bank you weaed man. Lame jokes of the Week.