Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1109 - This Week in Parenting: Sports Shift - From Footy to Yoga

Transcript

#1109 - This Week in Parenting: Sports Shift - From Footy to Yoga · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: once answers.
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  Speaker 1: Now, welcome to a new week. It's so good to
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  Speaker 1: have you joining us on a Happy Families podcast. Last
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  Speaker 1: week we got a bit carried away. I had six
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  Speaker 1: stories lined up for this week. You're not joining me.
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  Speaker 2: This week in parenting.
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  Speaker 1: Ah, that is so cheesy. I can't believe we're doing
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  Speaker 1: this this week and parenting it's one of my favorite
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  Speaker 1: episodes of the podcast. And Kylie, I really thought we'd
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  Speaker 1: get through six stories last week. You're shaking your head
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  Speaker 1: as you look at me.
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  Speaker 2: This is my life.
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  Speaker 1: I've always had two rules for life. I mean I
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  Speaker 1: was asked what my life philosophy was years and years
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  Speaker 1: and years ago, and I said, you have two things.
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  Speaker 1: Number one, always bought off more than you can chew,
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  Speaker 1: and number two, make it up as you go along.
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  Speaker 1: I think it served as reasonably well, you have less
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  Speaker 1: to say on this than I do. So last week
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  Speaker 1: we bid off more than we could chew, and today
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  Speaker 1: we're continuing to make it up as we go along
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  Speaker 1: because I bid off more than we could chew. Kylie.
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  Speaker 1: The three stories that we covered off last week were
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  Speaker 1: really valuable, really really curious, and I think get people talking.
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  Speaker 1: We talked about robeblocks and the hellscape that it's created
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  Speaker 1: for kids because it allows pedophiles in and allows them
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  Speaker 1: to contact kids on mass. We also talked about how
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  Speaker 1: parenting is bad for your health according to the US
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  Speaker 1: Surgeon General, doctor vi VC Murphy, and meta passing the
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  Speaker 1: buck when it comes to who's responsible for keeping kids
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  Speaker 1: safe online. You can go back and have listened to
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  Speaker 1: that episode from last Thursday. However, today we have the
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  Speaker 1: other three stories and you can guide us through them
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  Speaker 1: because I am going to get carried away, but I
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  Speaker 1: think you'll have something to say about these ones as well.
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  Speaker 1: So let's go. Where do you want to start?
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  Speaker 2: There was an article recently published in the Forbes magazine
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  Speaker 2: suggested that there is a correlation between smartphone news and
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  Speaker 2: anxiety in our right.
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  Speaker 1: But here's the fascinating thing the research. Twenty twenty research
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  Speaker 1: study from Pure Research showed that sixty a percent of
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  Speaker 1: American parents with a child younger than seventeen years of
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  Speaker 1: age so that their smartphones routinely distract them during interactions
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  Speaker 1: with their children. Here's what this new research says, And
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  Speaker 1: by the way, do you want to congratulate me on
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  Speaker 1: getting some doctor's desk material into this weekend parenting. Do
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  Speaker 1: you like that? Yes, so sneaking it. In new research
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  Speaker 1: the jamm At network open journal, researchers Sherry Madigan of
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  Speaker 1: the University of Calgary and her colleagues found this in
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  Speaker 1: early childhood, parental techno farans that is, when parents run devices,
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  Speaker 1: not kids. When parents run devices and it's interfering, technoference
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  Speaker 1: is associated with decreases in parental child engagement, which is obvious, right,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, University of Durr could have told you that.
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  Speaker 1: But they found that reducibility to notice intended children's needs
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  Speaker 1: less frequent, lower quality joint play and conversational turns, more
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  Speaker 1: negative responses to children's behavior at higher risk of child
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  Speaker 1: injury all occur when parents are on their devices too much.
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  Speaker 1: They also added in adolescence, adolescent perceived parental technoference is
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  Speaker 1: associated with higher levels of parent child conflict and lower
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  Speaker 1: levels of parental emotional support. And in other words, when
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  Speaker 1: we are on our devices that's causing problems. But this
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  Speaker 1: is where this story really takes on a life of
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  Speaker 1: its own. I think it's really important they went deeper
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  Speaker 1: they recruited thirteen hundred emerging adults sorry adolescents aged nine
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  Speaker 1: to eleven, and the mums and the kids were asked
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  Speaker 1: to complete a series of questionnaires. Some of the questions
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  Speaker 1: that the kids answered included, I wish my parents would
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  Speaker 1: spend less time on their phone and other devices, and
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  Speaker 1: I get frustrated with my parent for being on their
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  Speaker 1: phone or other devices when we're spending time together. And
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  Speaker 1: then the kids also self reported any symptoms they're experiencing
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  Speaker 1: related to anxiety and depression and attention difficulties and hyperactivity.
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  Speaker 1: And what the research found was this, when the children
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  Speaker 1: perceived their parents were indulging in more techno feerence, those
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  Speaker 1: kids experienced higher mental health difficulties.
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  Speaker 2: So in the article, did it acknowledge anything outside of
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  Speaker 2: anxiety or was anxiety the main focus?
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  Speaker 1: Let let me give you a direct quote. They said,
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  Speaker 1: techno ference is becoming a pervasive part of parent child interactions,
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  Speaker 1: and a growing literature suggests that technology based interferences have
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  Speaker 1: mental health ramifications. Higher levels of perceived parental techno feerence
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  Speaker 1: were associated with higher levels of emerging adolescent inattention and
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  Speaker 1: hyperactivity symptoms. In other words, the more you're on your phone,
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  Speaker 1: the greater the possibility that your child will either be
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  Speaker 1: inattative themselves or hyperactive. There were no gender differences. And
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  Speaker 1: here's the other finding that really really I guess grabbed me.
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  Speaker 1: Emerging adolescence with anxiety may also be more sensitive to
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  Speaker 1: their parents' techno ference than emerging adolescence with lower levels
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  Speaker 1: of anxiety, which means that if your kid is a
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  Speaker 1: bit anxious and you're on your device, they're probably going
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  Speaker 1: to perceive that there is more techno ference than there
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  Speaker 1: actually is, and that's going to drive greater anxiety. I
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  Speaker 1: think this is I just think it's one of those
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  Speaker 1: one of those articles, one of those news stories. I
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  Speaker 1: guess it's at doctor's desk as well. I did cheat
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  Speaker 1: a little bit, but it's one of those things that
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  Speaker 1: is supposed to make you stop and go. Can I
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  Speaker 1: be more intentional when I'm using my device?
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  Speaker 2: Well? I think that the reality is that we obviously
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  Speaker 2: are all doing life for the most part the best
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  Speaker 2: we can. I actually had our seventeen year old pull
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  Speaker 2: me up the other day because she walked into the
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  Speaker 2: house while I was in the middle of doing an
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  Speaker 2: email at the table, and she said, hi, Mom, and
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  Speaker 2: I mumbled high back to her, but I didn't lift
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  Speaker 2: my eyes.
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  Speaker 1: T no ferens at his best.
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  Speaker 2: She walked past me, went to the bathroom, and she
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  Speaker 2: came back and she said, I just came in and
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  Speaker 2: said hello to you, and you completely ignored me. And
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  Speaker 2: I said I didn't. I said hello, but her perception
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  Speaker 2: was I hadn't because I hadn't. I literally hadn't moved
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  Speaker 2: my gaze from what I was doing.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, because communication is more than just the mumbling of
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  Speaker 1: a word.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I guess the biggest challenge we have is
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  Speaker 2: if we were to stop doing what we're doing every
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  Speaker 2: time we had a child interrupt us, for many parents,
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  Speaker 2: we wouldn't get through our days a task list.
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  Speaker 1: I get that a lot of parents will say that,
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  Speaker 1: and yet what I have found is when I stop
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  Speaker 1: and give my child the attention that they are seeking,
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  Speaker 1: When I meet their eyes, when I give them a hug,
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  Speaker 1: when I listen to them for a minute or two
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  Speaker 1: so they tell me their thing, then they're really content
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  Speaker 1: to because they've felt seen and heard and valued. They're
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  Speaker 1: content to walk away with a smile on their face
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  Speaker 1: and go, hmm, I feel loved and now I feel secure.
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  Speaker 1: And I can go and do my thing, and paradoxically,
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  Speaker 1: I find that I get more time, more focus, and
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  Speaker 1: more attention by being available than I would if I
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  Speaker 1: was to continually fold them off and say I'll be
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  Speaker 1: with you soon, I'll be with you soon, I'll be
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  Speaker 1: with you soon. Different point of view, a different way
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  Speaker 1: of looking at it, but certain that's been my experience.
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  Speaker 1: Let's go story number two now.
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  Speaker 3: A review into the future of Victoria's into school sporting
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  Speaker 3: program is underway, aiming to shift the focus away from
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  Speaker 3: year round team sports and competitions things like football and rowing,
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  Speaker 3: and instead focus more on things like yoga and pilates.
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  Speaker 2: A recent article suggests that Victorian private schools are ditching
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  Speaker 2: footy for yoga.
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  Speaker 1: When I read this initially, everything about me just went
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  Speaker 1: what is going on with the world? But stay with
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  Speaker 1: me for just a second. Okay. So this was written
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  Speaker 1: by Susie Brian and the Herald soign Cus. Brian's one
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  Speaker 1: of my favorite and most fun reporters at the Held
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  Speaker 1: sign and she said this, Victoria's most elite schools are
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  Speaker 1: moving away from year round competitive sports like football and
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  Speaker 1: rowing in favor of walking, yoga and polarates. Doesn't it
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  Speaker 1: make you feel so relaxed. I mean, I feel like
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  Speaker 1: we need this soundtrack all the way through the rest
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  Speaker 1: of the podcast. No more rowing them with football. Let's
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  Speaker 1: go for a walk and stretch out bodies. Do you
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  Speaker 1: know what I mean?
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  Speaker 2: Do you like that? I have two thoughts around this.
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  Speaker 2: I have often thought about the different sports that our
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  Speaker 2: kids involve themselves in high school or in school in general.
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  Speaker 2: And the biggest acknowledgment I have is they spend all
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  Speaker 2: this energy and time in this space for a handful
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  Speaker 2: of years, and then they leave school and they never
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  Speaker 2: do it again.
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  Speaker 1: Never play that sport again. And not like cycling. They
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  Speaker 1: should get the kids on the velodrome, should get the
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  Speaker 1: kids on the road bike, because they can ride bikes
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  Speaker 1: for the rest of their lives. We can get mammals
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  Speaker 1: started young. And I think you're ignoring.
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  Speaker 2: Me, you said, and I think that there is obviously
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  Speaker 2: so much goodness that comes from moving our bodies and
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  Speaker 2: team sports and all of the things that come with it.
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  Speaker 1: They should be surfing.
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  Speaker 2: But I have also thought about the fact that they
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  Speaker 2: spend all of this time building up a skill set
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  Speaker 2: that they never use again. And so that's one train
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  Speaker 2: of thoughts. So I actually love no well, I love
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  Speaker 2: the idea of schools taking up this space and acknowledging
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  Speaker 2: that these are practices that if we can get the
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  Speaker 2: children into from an early age, they can actually practice
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  Speaker 2: this style of mindfulness for their entire lives. It's not
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  Speaker 2: actually higher life, the entire life.
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  Speaker 1: It's not a style of mindfulness. It's a it's a
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  Speaker 1: it's a fitness, it's a lifestyle. Right, it's a way
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  Speaker 1: of approaching health.
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  Speaker 2: But it is mindfulness because when.
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  Speaker 1: Its sustainable, that's exactly right.
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  Speaker 3: Right.
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  Speaker 2: But but I'm going around in circles.
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  Speaker 1: We're not going to get to the third one. You
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  Speaker 1: realize that, don't you. This week in parenting is going
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  Speaker 1: to go.
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  Speaker 2: I don't think it can come at the expense and
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  Speaker 2: the exclusion of team sports. When I think about the
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  Speaker 2: challenges that we have in the classrooms as it is,
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  Speaker 2: because children are not allowed to move their bodies enough.
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  Speaker 1: And they're not learning to cooperate enough, because there's so
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  Speaker 1: much solitary work, it.
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  Speaker 2: Breaks my heart to think that these sports would be
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  Speaker 2: excluded from curriculums, entirely.
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  Speaker 1: Curricula even I'm sorry, So let me add a couple
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  Speaker 1: of things here because I was thinking about it.
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  Speaker 3: There.
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  Speaker 1: Sun reveals that the APS schools will continue compulsory Saturday
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  Speaker 1: morning sport for senior school students, but with the renewed
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  Speaker 1: focus on less competitive contact team sports. And I think
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  Speaker 1: this is cultural number one, there's a move away from competition, okay,
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  Speaker 1: But number two they said a growing number of enrollments
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  Speaker 1: from Asian and Indian families is understood to be a
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  Speaker 1: factor in the move. So what we're dealing with is
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  Speaker 1: it's not just culture in terms of parents are less
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  Speaker 1: inclined to push their children into competitive pursuits. That culture,
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  Speaker 1: but also the culture of the Australian sporting culture is
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  Speaker 1: being shifted as families with alternative cultural sporting backgrounds start
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  Speaker 1: to make their way into these schools and into these environments.
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  Speaker 1: And you've got I guess Indian families, and you've got
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  Speaker 1: Asian families who are saying, you know, we're not into AFL,
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  Speaker 1: we're not into rowing, they're not our sport. We prefer swimming,
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  Speaker 1: or we prefer whatever it is, and so they're starting
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  Speaker 1: to shift. I think this is fascinating. But something that
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  Speaker 1: really troubles me about it is this from a a
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  Speaker 1: haileyb Resource, who is anonymous, saying that schools are less
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  Speaker 1: and less interested in Saturday sport and more interested in
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  Speaker 1: maintaining academic result.
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  Speaker 2: And that's what I'm that's what I'm concerned about as well,
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  Speaker 2: this idea that we're kind of almost leaning towards a
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  Speaker 2: very sedentary and academic based learning at the expense of
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  Speaker 2: so much. It's just so much.
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  Speaker 1: You use the word expense though, and I guess it's
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  Speaker 1: also worth highlighting. Melbourne Grammar principle Philip Grutsner told The
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  Speaker 1: Herald Son the logistics of providing a meaningful sporting experience
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  Speaker 1: for so many students on a weekly basis across three
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  Speaker 1: seasons are enormous, just huge costs. When you look at
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  Speaker 1: all the kids that are involved, it's over twenty six
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  Speaker 1: thousand students. The costs to organize the fields, the uniforms,
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  Speaker 1: the personnel, the players, the transport, the equipment, blah blah
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  Speaker 1: blah blah blah. Huge costs. But I guess the tricky
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  Speaker 1: thing is this stuffs so healthy for kids. They need
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: to be involved in moving their bodies, they need to
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  Speaker 1: have healthy lifestyles. And if it's getting dropped in because
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  Speaker 1: it costs a lot of money, and it's getting dropped
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  Speaker 1: because kids might not have as much time to study.
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  Speaker 1: I think we're heading in the wrong direction. And that's
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  Speaker 1: this week in Parenting. There is one more news story.
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  Speaker 1: But guess what, you.
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  Speaker 2: Can't cut it there. We've got one more story list.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, look, we've got this one, like in ninety seconds.
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  Speaker 2: I think we care.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, go Well, nearly forty five thousand Aussie kids are
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: registered for homeschooling, with more and more parents now choosing
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  Speaker 3: the unconventional route.
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  Speaker 2: An article recently suggested that homeschooling in Queensland is booming.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, this one is worth talking about. And the main
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: reason that we should talk about it is because on Wednesday,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I'm talking with Brett Compton. Brett is the CEO of YUCA.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Yuka is a homeschool organization that provides curriculum. There's no
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: sponsorship here, there's no entanglement at all. But our kids
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: actually use Uka as their curriculum and I thought it's
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: the only one that I've heard of because that's what
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: we're using. And I've contacted him and said can we
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: talk about it because of this story. So here's the
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  Speaker 1: story in a nutshell. In Queensland, homeschooling enrollments have reached
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: a record high, according to the Courier Mail, as parents
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: desperate to protect their children from bullying abandoned traditional education facilities.
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  Speaker 1: At home learning enrollments have sorted by two hundred and
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  Speaker 1: twenty nine percent over the past five years. So in
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: twenty nineteen point zero three percent of Queensland students homeschooled.
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  Speaker 1: Today it's about one and a half percent of the
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: state's eight hundred and eighty thousand students. That's the equivalent
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: of one student missing from every third Queensland classroom, and
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: the numbers are only going up. We're going to be
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: talking about the reasons that that's happening. But this particular
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Courier Mail article was basically all about the bullying. It
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: was the bullying, the bullying and the bullying. Our kids
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: are out of school for that and other reasons, and
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: we're homeschooling two of them. But this is something that
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: is getting bigger and bigger and bigger and more and
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: more parents that we talk to say how do you
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: do it? And I'm really interested in it and how
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: feasible is it? So that's this week in parenting we'll
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: talk to Brett Moore on Wednesday to get the lowdown
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: on what's really going on with homeschooling across Australia.
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  Speaker 2: Well, it's been a big two weeks for this week
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: stretch it out, but we got there.
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  Speaker 1: I think we should do it more often because I
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: get too carried away and some of these stories are fascinating,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Like we could do entire episodes on these stories. There's
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: so much going on for parents to wrap their heads around.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening. We hope that it's been
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: really useful for you. Tomorrow, we're gonna have a conversation
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: about whether birth order is legit or not. All that
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: research that says that if you're the firstborn, you're this,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: and if you're the last born, you're that middle child syndrome,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: all that kind of thing.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: I think it's real really Oh yeah.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, we'll unpack that. You can ask me all the
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: questions because we're going to dive into the data and
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: talk about what the research says about birth order. That's
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: tomorrow on the Happy Families podcast, which is produced by
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Justin Rowland from Bridge Media. If you would like more
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: info about making your family happier, Love for you to
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: jump online at happy families dot com dot you, especially
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: if you're raising an autistic We have a brand new
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: course that is launching. It's about to happen. Actually, you
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: can get on the details at happy families dot com
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: you or on our social media platforms dot Justin Colson's
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Happy Foundies