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Who Told You Music Had to Work This Way? The 10 Rules Behind the Rules · Do Music Differently

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Reveal the rules.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Rewrite your future. On your own terms. The conversation starts now.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: Welcome to Do Music Differently with Heidselin on W4WN Radio.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: I am Heidselin.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: And we are here to reveal the rules and rewrite
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: your future.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: And this time it's going to be on your terms.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: So... I've been talking to so many creative people that
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: are doing music differently. And I just couldn't keep that
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: to myself because for me, it really took one aha moment,
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: one spark that got me from sitting in my recliner
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: wondering why I wasn't doing the things that I kept
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: telling everybody I wanted to do I was going to
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: be a rock star and I was going to do
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: it no matter what you say.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: But I wasn't.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: So it was very confusing, but it was this one
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: insight that got me into action and gave me more
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: clarity about what it is that I really wanted to do.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: And taking on that new perspective just completely changed my
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: life experiences. I became really clear about what satisfaction means
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: for me.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: And I just love music.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: So music had to be in my life somewhere, somehow.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: And I was losing touch with it at certain times
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: in my life. And I definitely knew that wasn't going
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: to be satisfying. So once I became clear about what
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: I wanted to do, I created better strategies to have
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: a good foundation so it could be sustainable. And This time,
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: instead of doing what everyone had told me to do
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: all of my life, I just blocked all of that
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: out and said, you know what? Best case scenario, this
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: is the kind of stuff that I want to be doing.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: And I took everything that I like to do and
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: that I love and the ways that I want to
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: spend my time.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: And I made sure all of that was included in
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: my strategy. And then the coolest thing happened.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: I didn't have to really worry about how I was
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: going to make all of this come together. when I
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: was clearer about it and when I had a strategy
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: for it, it seemed like the right people just kind
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: of appeared right when I needed them, which was really
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: weird because up until that point, I was just, I mean,
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: I was really discouraged working with people. It seemed like
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: people were always letting me down. I did things all
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: by myself for a lot of what I was trying
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: to do. I just, I got really burnt out, you guys.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: And My love for music and creating music, it just
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: seemed really difficult and it just, I didn't feel very
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: much joy when it came to doing music stuff.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: And I began to doubt who I.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Was and I got really depressed and it made me
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: really anxious because who was I then if I wasn't
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: going to do anything music, but maybe they were right
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: that Music is just too hard. And that just being
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: a slave to a real job was the only.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Way that it was going to actually work. I said
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: no to that.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: And I found other people that were thinking like me,
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: that there had to be another way besides these specific
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: ways that people were telling me, you have to do it.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: You should do it. Oh, you're never going to.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Make it unless you do it this way. So with
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: this vision, I'm doing music differently. talking to all of
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: these cool people. And now I'm here with you to
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: share these stories, to inspire you, to get you to
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: believe in whatever that creative vision is that you've been
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: thinking about that maybe seemed really impossible, but maybe you've
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: been operating with this automatic process that you didn't really
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: know was there before. So with my guests every week,
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: I am hoping to uncover and give you that small
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: aha moment that's going to get you into action too.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: And this week I have a very special guest.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: It is Dr.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: April Lynn James. We've been working together for a couple
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: months now and she's going to help me present what
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: I think are 10 of the general main rules of
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: music success that I know that have affected me along
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: the way and what we're going to talk about for
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: Do Music Differently. So, April, why don't you come on
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: to the show?
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: Hello. Hello, Heidi.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Hello, everyone.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for joining me.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: And now that I've done my introduction about who I
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: am and what I'm doing and why I'm here, I
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: want to give you an opportunity to tell everybody the
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: kind of things that you've been doing in music and
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: a little bit more about yourself.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, happy to. Well, I am, as Aislinn said, Dr.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: April Lynn James. I'm known as the PhD-va.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Thank you, because I'm an award-winning soprano with a PhD
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: in music from Harvard. And I have experienced all those
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: kinds of challenges that Heidi has been talking about, you know,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: the listening to the other voices kind of thing and
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: doing things, trying to do things the way the shoulds
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: have you, you know, doing them and experienced burnout and
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. And I was like, no, no,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that anymore. No, I'm going to...
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: follow what I know is right for me, which is music.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I'm a classical, like I'm, you know, classical soprano. And
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I also happen to have gone through a whole bunch
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: of stuff that led me unexpectedly to Alice's Adventures in
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Wonderland and a whole complete creative turnaround in my life
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: and my work. And I share that with people today. Okay.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: Her Alice way was not something I expected at all.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: And one of my favorite parts, because I'm always looking
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: for ways to tap into my imagination and creativity.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: And that's what she did with the Alice way. It
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: was quite fun. Five, six weeks that we got together?
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I call it, well, it's actually a seven-week training.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: The Alice Way, I call it a Wonderland-inspired resiliency ticket
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: because it gives you the tools, the same tools that
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: got me through my Harvard doctoral program and the decade
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: of awfulness that followed.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: The decade of awfulness.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: The decade of awfulness that followed. But, you know, through,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: but using Wonderland to inspire awe and in, you know, Inspiration, right?
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Inspire and inspiration get you to believe the impossible and
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: achieve the impossible through the Alice Way technique.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: Well, I also had one of those decades that showed
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: up like right after I got out of school.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: And, you know, I think a lot of the things.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: That we're going to talk about today, all of these
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: beliefs and these rules were inspired. just in full automation
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: for me. And I was so busy with going to
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: school and working my full part-time job. I went to
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: school for radio, so I was doing radio shifts and
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: things like that too. And this was even before I
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: decided that I was going to start a band. But
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: I was just so, so busy with things that I
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: didn't stop to question some of the rules that I
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: picked up along the way.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Can you, can you relate to that in your like
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: younger years?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. You know, you get so busy, you know, for me,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: doing a doctor, doing a dissertation, you know, you just focus.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I focus so much on that and just going, okay,
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do this and we get this done.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: And then suddenly it's like, oh, it's done. Okay. What?
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute. This, this wasn't the promised land. Wait
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: a minute. This isn't the promised land. what's going on? Right?
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: I thought I was going to make it. And I
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: just had four more years and I was going to
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: be there.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Go ahead.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: So we're going to count down the top 10.
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  Speaker 3: I feel like these are the umbrella rules that every
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: other conversation that we're going to have on this show
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: is going to fall kind of under one of these categories.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: So These are not.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: In any particular order. You know, we're not necessarily counting
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: down to the very best. But I do think that
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: these are probably some of the top ones.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: So in the number 10 spot.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: If one solution doesn't work, the solution doesn't work. Okay,
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: so I'm going to say it one more time because
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: that's kind of confusing.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: But if one.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Solution, one solution doesn't work, the solution doesn't thing.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: It doesn't work.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: So you can notice when this rule is kind of
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: at play, when you hear things like, well, I tried
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: advertising on social media and it didn't work. Or I
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: hired someone once to help me and I had a
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: really bad experience, so I'm never hiring someone again. I
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: got one expensive quote, so that means that I absolutely,
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: I just, I can't afford it. Does it do any
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: of these like sound familiar to you, April? If you've
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: heard some of these at play before that, then some
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: of these yourself.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, probably, you know, I, cause it's always the, you know,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: that's too expensive. I'm not even bothered with it. That,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: That sort of thing. Yeah. When it comes to, oh,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: I can't afford that, so I'm not going to do it.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: And then that doesn't really solve the issue because then
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: you just wind up doing everything yourself.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: Or sometimes it ends up costing you more than what
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: if you just would have made the investment in the
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: first place.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: Not just because you did it all yourself. Well, and
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: then sometimes because you're doing it all yourself, then it's
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: also your health that goes down the tubes sometimes, too.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: But then sometimes, because it took so long for you
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: to do it yourself, financially, it ended up costing more
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: than if you just would have paid somebody to do
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: it and it would have been done in like two weeks.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Right, exactly.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: I've been there. And then I'm just like... But we live,
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: we learn.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: And so I've come to realize with that role, when
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: it pops up, because I have definitely used that thinking before.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: And a lot of times it does center around money.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: And so I tend to just analyze my statements about
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: money a little bit more carefully than I used to
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: in the past. And this is a good example of
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: what that is. So, all right, so let's move on
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: to rule number nine. You have to be ready before
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: you move. This rule is for all of our.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: Friends, the procrastinators out there, the perfectionists. I love you guys.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be perfect.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: I know it feels like it's better if it is,
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: but it's not always.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: So sometimes done is better than perfect.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Can't perfect everything all the time. And that's because that's
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: what makes life interesting.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Right? Yeah.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: I mean, sometimes you have to fail forward. I feel
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: like I have never gained any confidence in any kind
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: of situation from just sitting around and thinking about it.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Maybe if I was reading.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: A book and like took a test and then I
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: passed the test, like that might give me some confidence,
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: but yeah.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: But life doesn't come with those kinds of tests. Those,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: those are the kind of tests.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: And, and you learn so much faster when you just,
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: just jump in and do it. So don't worry about
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: being confident first in anything that you're doing. Just put,
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: one step in front of the other and move forward
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: with what you have right.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: You gain confidence while in the doing in doing it
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: you gain the confidence to do.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: More exactly exactly all right so let's move on to
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: the next rule then the next rule oh and when
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: all the world wants you to believe this more is
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: better april no need more more give me more no
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: as someone who has more than five.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Advanced degrees, more is not better. More will not get
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: you where you want to go. No, definitely not. Yeah.
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: So that more is better could be like, you know,
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: I need more degrees like April or think about it, uh,
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: from promoting yourself.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: You're like, Well, you know, if I just post more,
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: then I'm going to get more followers and that'll lead
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: to more shows.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: And oh, of course, I have to release more music.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: And that's going to be on all the platforms.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: More, the more, the better. This becomes very exhausting.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: That's right. That's the road to exhaustion right there.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: There is actually a point where you could be satisfied.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: But it's like the story I was telling the intro.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: What is satisfaction to you? Does it have to be
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: all this more or is it enough? Good enough like
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: you were talking about with the last rule, April.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Isn't it funny? They all kind of like waterfall onto
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: each other.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: They do.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: They do. They kind of overlap. It's like the lessons are,
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: you know, the lessons are very simple. Actually, once you
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: get all the rules, like actually the lessons that you
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: derive from the really simple, it could probably become one
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: or two For three lessons.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: You're right. We're going to figure that out too as
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: we keep doing these episodes. So let's do the next rule.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: This one's my favorite because I hear this one like
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: on a weekly basis from people that I talk to.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: But it's like in between the lines.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: Nobody comes out and says this directly, but here's the
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: rule that's operating underneath. Being an independent artist means.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Doing it all yourself.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, dear. No, no, no, no, no.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Speaking of burnout.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a setup for burnout right there. No. Because
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I'm in classical music, I absolutely can't do everything by myself.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Someone has to play the piano behind me, right? So
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: at least I have that. But yeah, no, doing everything
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: yourself is the fastest way to burnout. And it's the,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: it's not, generally just not a good way to do things.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: You can't operate in a vacuum. We are social beings.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Music is a social activity. You have to do it
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: in front of some, you don't have to do it
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: in front of people. I guess if you don't, if
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: you really don't want to, you don't have to, but
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: it is something that you're sharing something of yourself with
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: others and you, and you want to receive, you know,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: some feedback in return and you want, you want to
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: get your stuff out to people and you need help
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: to do that.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: And sometimes you might think, you know, again, I've tried
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: working with this one person, but it was a horrible experience.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: So what I learned from that is that all people
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: are horrible to work with.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Ah, the generalization, the, it's like all or nothing thinking.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, that one's coming up on the list too.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: It's funny.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: Um, and you, If you don't slow down, you don't
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: necessarily notice that they're popping up.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: But, you know, for this independent means doing everything yourself thing.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: If this rule is in play, one thing that you're
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: going to think is I shouldn't ask for help or
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: it's too much trouble to ask for help or hiring
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: help is a wasteful use of resources. No one's going
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: to do it like I do.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Going back to perfectionism.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: And also, if I can do it myself, I should.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: And I think that was one that.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: For me, I was like, yeah, well, I can do that.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: I can do that. I can do that.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: So I'll just do it all because I can't until
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: I realize you can do it for a while, but
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: then you get real tired.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Right. Right.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: So I think just About every successful person that I've
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: talked to, actually, no, I'm not even going to say
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: just about. Every person that has.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: Said, I feel successful in my music career has a
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: team that they've built behind them. So, yes, we are
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: going to be talking a lot about changing that particular.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, next rule.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: There is only one right way to succeed. Now, I
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: always hear like when we're doing the band track, right?
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: It's like, okay, so you have to, well, be good.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: You got to be good.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: You got to sound good. Okay, I'll give you that.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: That sounds like a yeah, that's kind of like a
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: have to thing. But even that, like music is so subjective.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: So uh what might not sound good to one person
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: might sound like the most amazing thing someone else has
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: ever heard before so i mean we could even argue
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: that you have to be good but then oh in
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: order to make it to be successful you have to
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: get signed by a label maybe that was true in
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: the past but it's the wild wild west of the
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: music industry and things are changing so right so um
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: what do you think about uh there's only one right
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: way to succeed rule april.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: Did that one like trip you up at all were
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: you like nope someone told me this is the way
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: and then you followed that like was part of like
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: all those degrees like part of that well the.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Degree has happened because the The landscape, the career landscape
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: kept shifting. The job landscape kept shifting. So every time
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: I ran into a wall, it was just like, well,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: you know what? Let me go back to school. Actually,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I did that. I mean, the music degrees came about
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: because I had followed the thinking that you can't make
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: music a career, so get a degree in something practical.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: So I studied communications and media studies. and then went
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: into that field and hated it and said you know
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: what uh if i'm going to do something as work
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: i better do something i enjoy what do i enjoy
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: music i'm going to go back to school and study
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: music too and then you know and i knew i
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: wanted to go on for a doctorate and so that's
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: how i wound up getting straight A's so I could
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: go on for a doctorate. And I wouldn't say that
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: everyone said the only way to succeed then with a
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: doctorate is to teach, but that's pretty much the thinking
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: because no one in career services after you've gotten a
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: doctorate gives you any other alternatives. They don't, you know,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, you know, so I wound up
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: sort of accidentally being an entrepreneur because I teaching things
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: did not interest me when I finished, when I first finished.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I was burnt out, you know, because there's only one
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: way to do, only one way to do a PhD,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: and that's to brick yourself to death, and it almost happened,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: so I had to stop that after. Oh, my God,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: you know, and so then I took the burnout break
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: and then got back into music, but, yeah, there's only
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: one right way. They're all, and everybody, Part of the
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: music industry, I'll speak classical music, has its own right
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: way to do it. If you're an opera, okay, well,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: you have to do this, this, this, this. If you
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: want to teach, you want to teach, you have to do,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: you have to, you know, Do this, this, this, this, this. Um, no.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: And then you get there and you think you're going
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: to have this great opportunity because you did this, this, this,
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: and this, like they said you should do.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: And you get there and you're like, okay, I did it.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Where's my reward? And it is nowhere to be found.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: That's just nowhere. It's just like, where is that? Where's
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: that reward? I was like, wait a minute. I got
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: the doctorate. I'm saying, where's the, hello? Crickets? My hearing. Okay.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: And then when I got there, I was like, this
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: is what I've been working for this whole time. Seriously.
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: Like I really like I wish somebody would have told
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: me this like four years ago before like I started
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: working on all this stuff.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: So not say this enough. Here is your super duper
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: nugget right in the middle of the episode before we
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: go to break here before commercial break nugget.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: So I want you to believe in your abilities and
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: all of the things that make yourself special because what
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: you believe about yourself and other people and the situations
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: that you are in become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So when
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: we come back, we're going to keep talking about some
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: of the rules.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Hold on.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: You are listening to Do Music Differently on W4WN Radio.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Is your music career feeling unsustainable?
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Join Heidsel and Coaching and Music Legacy International for the
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Root Cause Challenge and resolve your challenges from the roots.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Every second Tuesday at 7 p.m.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: Eastern.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: Register at heidselandcoaching.com slash rcc dash events. You're listening to
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: Do Music Differently on W4WN Radio. All right, I'm Heidi Lynn,
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: and we're back here with my guest, Dr. April Lynn James,
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: the PhDiva. I can't do the hi note.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: It's okay.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: All right. That's what I'm here for.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Well, we are going to do some voice lessons together,
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: so I'm pretty excited about that, too. Okay, so we
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: have been talking about some of the main rules, the
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: rules behind the.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: Rules, if you will. So we've talked about if one
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: solution doesn't work, The solution doesn't work. You have to
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: be ready before you move.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: More is better. Independent means doing everything yourself. There is
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: one right way to succeed. And now we're going to
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: be moving on to the next one, which is, oh gosh,
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: this one, this one was so big for me.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Your worth is determined by other people's response.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Hmm. That's a real disaster.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, April, I struggled with this one so bad. You know,
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: in those like the dark decade, what did you call that?
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: The decade of awfulness.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, the decade of awfulness.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: Like I was really, really struggling with this during the
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: decade of awfulness. I mean, in just about everything that
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: I did, it wasn't just music, but I had imposter
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: syndrome and I was comparing myself to other people that
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: I had no right to even compare myself to yet.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: I mean, I was kind of a mess because of
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: this particular rule.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, this, that rule, I mean, everyone, I think
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: in every field goes through, well, maybe not every, but
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: I know in at Harvard, that was a major cause
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: of distress. among the student body, that whole imposter syndrome. Oh,
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm not supposed to be here. Oh, I'm
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: the one who's it's like, okay, you got there. You're
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: supposed to be there. And, and we should never compare
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: ourselves to other people because we are each made perfect,
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: you know, be our perfect self. You know, we are
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: created to, The divine creator created us. Each individual is
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: a divine expression in the world. So who are we
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: to doubt that? And who are we to, you know,
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: like flowers don't do that. All right. Like roses don't
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: compare themselves to violets. Violets don't compare themselves to daisy.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Oak trees don't compare themselves to birches. Only humans get
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: caught up in this. Oh, they're better because they have,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: they are looking at the outside and thinking that that, No,
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: that person must be. And, you know, no, that's that's
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: when you have to. That's when you have to call
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: a timeout. Like, oh, stop. I think that way. Don't
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: think that way.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Exactly. I totally agree.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: OK, so the next one, which I think is really interesting.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: I used to sing a lot of karaoke. Right. So
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: people are all like, oh, OK. hey, what are you
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: doing here?
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: Like you sing so well, you should not be in
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: this little town singing karaoke. And so that rule for
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: me meant that you weren't a successful singer unless you
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: were on this.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: Big, huge scale.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: You were super famous and like visible.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Everybody knows who you are.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: But later on in life, like as I met other
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: people that were into music and doing music differently. I mean,
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: there are so many people that are making a living
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: with music and they are not famous. Like nobody really
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: knows who they are. And that was such a huge
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: breakthrough for me because I wasn't quite so sure if
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: I wanted to have that kind of visibility and paparazzi
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: following me around with cameras everywhere and like, I don't
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: know if that sounds like fun.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I like making music, but... Yeah, yeah.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I guess we all need to figure out for ourselves
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: what is the level of, I guess, fame... we're comfortable
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: with and do that. Don't try to do someone else's
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: level of fame. I know growing up, I would see
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: what happened to famous people, you know, how they were
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: mobbed and this, that, and the other thing. And I'm going,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do music like that. That's not,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: I don't want that. No. And some of the people that,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: you know, I most respect, they might be famous in other,
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: one part of the world, one genre or something. But,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: you know, then outside of that, not really.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: I do think that's really interesting because, you know, the
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: music you listen to and the music I listen to,
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: you probably would be naming off names.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, I haven't really heard it. You'd
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: be like, if I played that song, you would know it. Okay,
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: so maybe. And the same thing with metal. It'd be like...
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: You know, do you know this band? Yeah.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, even even that just depends on perspective.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: So I know that rule. Yeah.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: We got to work on rewriting that one, too. OK,
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: so let's see. Next one here. Oh, I said this
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: one was coming up. April, it has to be all
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: or nothing. Either I'm doing all music or I'm just
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: going to have to work a real job like they
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: told me that I should be doing instead.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: I cannot do a small mixture of both.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: Or I cannot compromise and weave some things together.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Why do we start thinking like that? Why is everything
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: so black and white?
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Because we're told that. We're told this kind of stuff
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: from when we're that big. You have to do this.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: And And we're surrounded by people who sort of seem
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: to be doing that, right? If we do have parents
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: who are doing the 9 to 5 thing or they
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: have this one career that they focus on and they
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: don't do music and you have other people who you're
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: surrounded by this, you kind of think, oh, well, I
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: guess then that music thing really doesn't work if you
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: don't get out of those circles to see wait, this
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: is someone who's doing this. They're, they consider themselves a musician.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: They might have something else that they're doing as well,
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: but they feel successful as a musician. So, Hmm. What
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: do they know that I don't? I know.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: That's always why I like talking to you. I'm like,
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: what do you know that I don't know? Well, that's
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: another one you should write down. Always ask people you're
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: like curious about. Yeah.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, It's surprising how many people will tell you
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: because people love talking.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: So ask. Don't be afraid to ask.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: That's right. All right.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, all or nothing.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, that can be applied to so many things
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: in life. Definitely want to catch that rule when it
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: comes into.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: Play and rewrite it when you catch it. OK, let's see.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Next rule. Success has to be earned. Through sacrifice. Oh,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I heard it just today. Oh, no. If you're going
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: to do those things, you're going to have to give
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: up your evening. I'm like, oh, no, I will just
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: be not taking your opportunity. That is all.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: This is what comes back to, you know, being true
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: to oneself. You have to know boundaries, boundaries. You have
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: to know what you need, what lights you up. And,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: you know, there are things that we're not willing to
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: trade off. It's like, no, I'm not going to, you know,
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: not do a yoga. You know, like, okay, so if
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: my evenings are filled with doing yoga or something, and
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: someone's saying, no, but you have to do this. I'm like, no, no, no. See,
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: my health? is more important than chasing after whatever this
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: thing is that you're offering. That thing, you know, that
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: thing that I supposedly want from what you're offering, I'm
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: going to find a way to get it in a
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: way that preserves my health, my integrity.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: And, you know, I really just followed the rule of, well,
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: you've got to work hard. And so in everything that
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: I did, it wasn't, music in every single thing that
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: I have ever touched, I am thinking, you know, I
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: have got to work hard at this for me to
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: get a good result.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: And it took me a very long time.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: I was well into my 40s before I was applying
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: this in a way that I realized that with the filter,
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: the lens, that it has to be hard. that meant
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: that if I did happen to find an opportunity to
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: make something easier, I would dismiss it as that's too
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: good to be true. Um, and Oh, if it's easy,
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: it's a shortcut. It's not going to work. It's not
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: going to get there. Like we have to work hard.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. How many times have I avoided doing things in
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: easier way?
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: And I've just Somehow overcomplicated something that should have been
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: a very easy project.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: And now it's turned into a big, huge, long thing.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: I'm overwhelmed. Back to burnout again.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: And it was like one of the biggest aha perspective changes,
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: which I hope to bring this to you week after week.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: What if it was easier?
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: And if not easier, what if it just felt easier?
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: Because sometimes, you.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: Know, You're going to want to apply this filter to
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: very difficult situations or difficult tasks. And your brain's going
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: to be like, this is not easy. Do not call
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: it easy. But you can apply the easy filter to
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: hard things. And it will help you find the more
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: easy solutions. Like when you see a new car that
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: you really like and suddenly like everyone's driving one.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: So weird, right?
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Interesting how that happens. Yeah.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: I know. But really, it works with everything. OK, so
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: let's move on to the next rule.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: No more needing to sacrifice. Figure out what it is
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: that you want.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Look for that. OK. And actually, you know what?
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: This leads into the last rule, the number one, which
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: is music, working in music, making music. It means you
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: got to struggle. You know, you got to be the
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: starving artists. You know, it's not a real job. It's
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: not financially stable. You are just going to struggle your
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: entire life if you decide to go this way.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: Have you heard that before?
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Yes, I heard that. Well, that's I heard that from
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: my from my mother. I know what I was thinking
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: when I wanted to. Also, I want to make the
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: first the first time around in Queens College when I
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: wanted to major in music. And I asked my mother,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: she said, music is a hobby, not a career. The
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: implication being that you can't make money being a musician,
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: so you better find a career. Yeah, I spent a
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: lot of time in my life trying to find a career. And,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't really work. And especially nowadays, there
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: are a whole lot of people out there who are
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: struggling in supposedly real careers, right? So something's not right.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: And you... You have to really have to tap into
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: your heart, what you love and make sure that you're
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: doing that.
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: And it becomes very difficult because the human nature to
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: survive kicks in.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: And the way that we survive.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: Nowadays is doing all of the stuff, more of the stuff,
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: another job, uh, posting more on social media, uh, tending this, uh,
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: events and just.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: More, more, more, more, more.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: It's like, Oh.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: It becomes really exhausting. And Hey, Aaron, thanks for joining us.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: He agrees.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: The struggle is real.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: So.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Well, the true struggle is that we have to get
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: in touch with inner self. We have to get back
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: to ourselves and be true to ourselves and really operate
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: from a place of peace and calm. A place of
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: peace and calm that's connected to the guidance that we
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: all naturally have. And that guidance helps us to move
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: forward and to make the choices that are going to
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: uplift us and keep us happy and, yeah, happy and safe.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: And those kind of ideas come from that part of
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: your brain that your songwriting comes from, all of your
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: creativity comes from.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: And it's just a mental muscle.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: So this is one of the things that I've found
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: that has helped me rewrite these rules as I've been
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: discovering them is, first of all, if you notice as
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: we're talking about these and some of the messages, some
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: of the things you might say when these rules are
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: in play is there's a lot of shoulds, have to, need.
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: That's just how it works. You know, like, because I
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: said so kind of statements. So when you hear these things,
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: they're like little trigger words where if you hear something
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: like that, that pops up, it's a sign to you
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: that it's time to take a minute, walk away from
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: whatever it is that you were just thinking about where
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: you're like, I.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Need to, I have to, got to, this is the way.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Go for a walk. Go listen to your favorite song.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: Dance while you're listening to it.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: These are the ways that you can get out of
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: that survival thinking and start tapping back into your creativity
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: and start to mesh and weave together all of the things.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: That you love.
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: So you can enjoy music and you can enjoy your
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: family and you can enjoy.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: long.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: Walks on the beach and your dog and all of
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: the things that are a part of life is what
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: makes you interesting, but it's what makes you unique. And
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: the crazy part is, is once you start focusing on
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: the ends, the what's of what you want, the how
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: just kind of shows up. And it's, it's all because
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: of what we were talking about before changing your focus
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: from why does everything keep going wrong? Why is it
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: so hard to, how can it be easier?
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: Two sides of the same coin. So April, I just
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: want to thank you so much for being here and
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: doing this countdown with me and kicking off do music differently.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: So excited.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you for having me. This is wonderful. Congratulations
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: on your podcast.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, well, thank you.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: And I just wanted to give you a couple minutes
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: before we're done. Tell them anything that you want them
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: to check out right now. I know we've got your
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: website scrolling at the bottom, but what are some things
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: that are of interest that people check out?
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, well, if you want to check out what I do,
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: what the PH Diva does, you can go to my website.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: You can get to it through, you can see it
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: scrolling down there, aprilindjames.com. You can also go to thephdiva.com.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: That will also get you to my website. And you'll
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: find out about the keynote concert I do, Just Keep Going,
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: a musical, mystical memoir. You'll find out about the Alice
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: Way Resiliency Retreat, or the toolkit that I offer during
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: these retreat programs where you can learn some of these things.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: Alice isn't just the name of the character from Lewis
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: Carroll's stories. Alice is an acronym. Awe, part of it. Love. Inspiration. Clarity.
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  Speaker 1: You have clarity in order to create. And expressivity. You
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: want to learn how to express that creativity that is
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: so natural to all of us. And I can take
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: you through that. It's the same strategies that got me
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: through Harvard and the decade of awfulness that followed.
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  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: And you can hear some of my singing, too. Clips
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: on my site. So go check out my site. then
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: connect with me through my site. Love to hear from you.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: And fun fact, April can teach you how to juggle.
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  Speaker 1: Yes. And juggling is in the Alice way. I do
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  Speaker 1: have that as part of juggling for stress relief. It's
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: in the Alice way. If you want to learn, that's
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  Speaker 1: one of those things that you do. If you find
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  Speaker 1: yourself getting frustrated with these rules, juggle.
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  Speaker 2: And you don't even need to get expensive stuff to juggle.
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  Speaker 2: You just go to the grocery store. And you can
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  Speaker 2: get the veggie.
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  Speaker 1: Bags, the kind of plastic bags that you put veggies in.
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  Speaker 1: They work wonderfully. They float just like juggling scarves. And
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  Speaker 1: you can toss them around and get that stress out.
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  Speaker 1: Get all those rules, those silly rules out of the way.
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  Speaker 1: Laugh and explore and find that you're open for for that.
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  Speaker 1: Those creative insights, those insights that come from, you know,
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: that place of inspiration. Yep.
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  Speaker 2: And then you can start juggling guitars while you're on stage.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, like, everyone will love it.
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  Speaker 1: I don't recommend that right away, but you might want
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: to work up to that.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, really?
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: You might want to work up to that. Okay.
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  Speaker 2: Okay. I like to get ahead of myself sometimes. Yeah. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: All right.
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  Speaker 2: So for everyone out there, notice this.
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  Speaker 3: When you hear have to, should, or that's just how
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  Speaker 3: it works in the conversations that you have with people
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  Speaker 3: and ask where it came from, whether it's still serving
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  Speaker 3: the outcome that you really want and what a more
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: useful rule could be. And then make sure to tell
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: us what rule are you ready to rewrite?
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  Speaker 2: We'll see you next week.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: This is Heidselin, and you've been listening to Do Music
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: Differently on W4WN Radio.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: Your next breakthrough could begin with one new rule. Scan
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: the QR
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: Code or visit heidselincoaching.com slash let's chat and tell me
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: what rule are you ready to rewrite?