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Narcissists Fake Their Personality Until They Get You · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're talking about how narcissists fake their
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  personality until they get your trapped, until they feel like
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  they have you stuck. How they fake it until they make
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  it, until you make it with you, right?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Let's Code.
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  Boom, welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
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  They fake it till they make it. They hate us 'cause they ain't
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  us. That's how it goes though,
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  y'all. But that's what we're talking
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  about today, How narcissistic people will absolutely fake
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  their personality until they get you stuck, until they feel like
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  they have you trapped, until they feel like they they are
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  getting what they want to from you.
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  That's the way it goes right there, y'all.
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  So that's what you have. That's what we're talking about
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  today. You got to get this mindset and
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  get how it's going to go. Narcissistic people, like when
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  you first made a narcissist, you're not meeting the real
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  version of that narcissistic person.
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  You are meeting their representative.
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  The representative from the district, from District 12,
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  District 13, Katniss Everdeen. If Katniss Everdeen was a
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  narcissist, right? You're not meeting the real
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  version of them. You just are not.
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  This is what's going to happen. My ex-husband was so charming in
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  the beginning and I fell for it. Yeah, charming works, y'all
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  Charming. That absolutely works.
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  Like if you sometimes they're not really that charming.
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  What was at first when you get in, when you meet them, they're
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  charming as hell. They they, they, they charm the
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  hell out of you, don't they? But once you get to know,
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  they'll be like, damn, you ain't really that charm.
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  You kind of an asshole, you kind of, you kind of evil, right?
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  You kind of you, you're not really that you kind of evil.
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  You're not charming. You're not charming at all.
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  You're a horrible human being. Damn, what's wrong with you?
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  You know, it's like, what's wrong on with you?
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  This is what ends up happening. You are meeting their
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  representative. You're not meeting the real
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  version of them. And I know it just sounds
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  unbelievable. I know it sounds like hard to
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  believe sometimes, but this is really how it goes.
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  Like, I think a lot of narcissistic people do not feel
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  like they are really deserving of love.
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  They don't feel like they're deserving of love, care or
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  affection. So what they do is start to act
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  like sometimes they mirror you. Like Nicole said, there's a lot
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  of mirroring. They mirror you.
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  They become you. They start to act like you.
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  They absolutely do. What is going on, Charlie?
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  What up? What up, what up?
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  It's like it was actually really scary, actually.
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  Yep. The day I fell, the day I
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  realized I fell in love with myself.
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  Yes, that absolutely happens in the beginning when you're
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  meeting a narcissist. They are faking who they really
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  are, most of them, right? Could you let me say this right
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  here? Could you have some things in
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  common with them? Yes, yes, you could absolutely
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  have some real things in common with this narcissistic person.
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  It's not all going to be fake personality right?
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  Some of it is actually what they really do like and dislike.
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  Y'all might actually have some things in common.
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  Like if you if you are an Usher fan, you going to realize that
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  you meet me. You're like, damn, Lee Hammond
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  really love Usher. Like he he been rocking the
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  usher since, you know, since back in the day.
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  Can you help me? Can can you help me?
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  It Lee Hammond's favorite song of all time.
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  Can you help me by Usher, his favorite song.
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  So it's not if you like Usher and I like Usher, we going, we
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  can bond on that because that's an actual the truth.
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  That's the actual true personality trait that I do
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  have, right? But this is what happens like
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  when you meet them. Sometimes they'll lie like if I
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  don't like Usher, if I love Usher, right, But you hate
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  Usher, but you like who a who's Usher?
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  You know Chris Brown, you like Chris Brown, right?
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  I might pretend like Chris Brown because you like Chris Brown.
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  So now we both in the club dancing.
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  I'm learning. I got to learn.
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  I got to learn Chris Brown songs because I'm a liar, because I'm
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  a manipulator, because I don't really like this stuff.
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  So now I have to pretend to like this stuff, don't I?
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  I know it sounds stupid, but now I have to pretend to like things
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  because I didn't dug myself. The hole is way too deep and
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  whatnot. Absolutely right.
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  But what's going on, man? Nice and slow.
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  Yup, that's the usher right there for you right there, nice
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  and slow, but who said this right here?
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  But this is what they do y'all like they will fake it until
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  they make it with you. They will fake the entirety of
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  the relationship with you to get you to fall for them.
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  And once you fall for them, they got you.
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  Like when I say fall for them once you are completely in love
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  with them or once you are living with them.
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  Once y'all are like y'all built a house together, y'all, y'all
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  are taking all the steps in the right direction and all the
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  steps in these directions, in these directions, right?
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  You're taking all these steps in these directions to build the
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  family together. You're doing all of this, all of
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  these things together because you think y'all going to be
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  together. So it makes sense that you're
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  doing this stuff. It makes sense that you want to
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  do this stuff. So once they feel like they have
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  you completely locked in, they log out, right?
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  Once they feel like they have you locked in, they log out of
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  the relationship, right? They turn it off.
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  They turn the love off. They tell you that they don't
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  want to be with you anymore. They act like they act like they
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  don't want to be with you anymore.
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  They treat you like they don't want to be with you anymore.
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  And that can become very disturbing.
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  You like what the hell happened? I thought we were, I thought we
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  were in love. I thought we had true Love's
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  kiss. And now they're treating you
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  like you don't matter. Now they're treating you like
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  you. They've never seen you before.
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  Like you are a stranger like you.
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  Like what the hell happened? We were in love.
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  Veronica's Cornerstone. So we have a very funny story.
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  Veronica Cornerstone and I are in love.
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  Like that type of love right there.
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  You mean this is how they do right here.
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  Like that type of love, that type of love right there.
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  Veronica Cornerstone and I are in love and we just did it.
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  That type of stuff right there. If y'all not a fan of Anchorman,
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  I don't know what to tell you. We can't be cool.
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  But that's that mindset. They send it their
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  representative to meet you like they will fake a lot of
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  different things. What y'all know one of the most
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  one of the most common things that I hear at the end of a
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  relationship with a narcissist. I heard these words so much
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  right here. I don't even know who they
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  really are. I don't think I really know
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  them. I don't really know this person
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  this for this is not the same person that I married.
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  This is not the same person that I that I I met in the beginning.
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  They completely changed their personality dynamics.
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  So many people say that. Same type of stuff right there.
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  I hear that so much right here. Always moving to goal posts.
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  Future fake. Yep.
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  They will tell you some lies up front.
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  Yeah, yeah, they'll fake it. Like y'all have the same dreams
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  in the same future, the same goals for the future.
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  This is why a lot of times they'll ask you these questions
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  first. They'll ask you to share your
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  likes and dislikes with them first, right?
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  They'll ask you to share this stuff with them first so they
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  can lock in on you so they can lock this stuff down so they can
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  mess with you. And then once they sell you,
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  once they success successfully sell you this future, they dip
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  on you. You realize that they not really
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  they not really about that life. You like them.
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  I thought you I thought you like this.
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  I thought you like doing this right here.
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  I lied. I don't really like that.
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  I just told you I like that to get you.
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  I just told you I wanted to do that to do that in the future to
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  get you. I just told you I wanted a tiny
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  home. I know your, I know your
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  username on TikTok. Is tiny home Tanya or Tiny Home
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  Tim? I don't want a damn tiny home.
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  I want a massive home. I want a mansion.
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  I lied to you, told you were going to build a tiny home.
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  No, they trick it, they fake it. They will.
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  It's not funny, but that's the type of stuff that they would
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  do. They will lie about doing things
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  like that, doing things that you like and want to do just to mess
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  with your head, right? Just to get to you.
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  Tell me about your hopes and dreams so I can use them against
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  you. Yep, absolutely.
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  They want to know your hopes and dreams and all of this stuff so
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  they can use it against you later on.
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  They will absolutely create a map.
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  Like Trish just said. They will create a map and mess
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  with your head. He bought me my home but now
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  it's all his. Yep.
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  I'm just telling y'all this is the mentality that you face.
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  They will fake it until they make it.
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  Narcissists fake it until they make it.
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  Not just in life, but not just in relationships, but just
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  overall in life. Y'all know how many people?
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  And This is why I tell so many people out here, right?
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  This is why I tell so many people right to, you know,
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  there's so many people out here who just go for people who are
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  successful. You know people, how many people
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  will fake being successful on social media just to get some
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  ass that just to trick people. That's the easiest way to get
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  you know, that's the easiest way to get people to fall for you is
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  to just fake it. It's just fake like you got
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  money on social media and you now you got now you're getting
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  asked thrown at you. It's just easy.
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  Why they do it, Lee, because it's easy.
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  Why I I don't even really have to be successful.
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  I could just fake successful, you know, until I get it.
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  I could just fake successful until I get what I want, right.
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  This is the mindset. This is mentality, y'all.
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  This is what happens. So I got a few minutes y'all I
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  got, I actually got to hop off of here and do a one-on-one like
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  4 minutes, but I got a few minutes for some questions.
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  Y'all if y'all want to drop some questions in a chat and whatnot.
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  But before we happen to the questions, y'all, if y'all don't
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  know, I still do my one-on-one, my coaching, every single thing.
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  My one on ones, my zoom calls, my support group.
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  Everything is available at mentalillness.net.
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  mentalillness.net. Also, next weekend we'll be in
• 10:31
  St. Louis, MO for our next in person
• 10:34
  workshop. St.
• 10:35
  Louis, MO in person live Q&A workshop on April the 5th and
• 10:41
  during Durham, NC on April the 12th.
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  You can find bothofthese@mentalillness.net/events.
• 10:48
  Like everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 10:50
  You can find everything there. The events are at the bottom of
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  the page too. I'm actually about to do a video
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  on genuine friends. I do believe that a lot of
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  narcissists do have genuine friends, but it really just
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  depends on the relationship dynamics.
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  Right? So Mental illness.net/events be
• 11:08
  in California later this year sometime.
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  Caesar Caesar Caesar, what you're saying and everything in
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  the comments feels my soul. So glad I'm not alone.
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  Not crazy. Yep.
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  So that's why that's why I created my support group.
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  Yeah, my support group is literally about a lot of people
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  who are going through these these relationship dynamics.
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  It's just people sharing and whatnot, sharing their story,
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  sharing everything. Please look over my question.
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  If you put the question right there, could have read it.
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  I could have read it. It's like it's like almost 200
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  people here asking questions like you, right?
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  I could have read it. Well, thank.
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  Well, thank you. You're the best.
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  Appreciate it, y'all. It's harder when you figure out
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  you have a narcissistic friend. Yeah, narcissistic friends.
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  They can they, they can Burrow deep deeply inside of your life
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  like a tick, right? Oh, sure.
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  Cheryl's in my support group. So yeah, she's, she's part of my
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  support group. All like y'all, everything is
• 11:57
  available at mentalillness.net. Every single thing.
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  My support group, my coaching, my courses, everything is at
• 12:02
  mentalillness.net. Mental illness.net.
• 12:08
  I think it was in here 122. Do narcissistic people feel
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  empathy? Not necessarily the emotional
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  empathy they have more. I feel like narcissists have
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  more cognitive empathy and emotional empathy.
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  Only friends I have are the ones I grow up with.
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  Yeah, that's what this is how I am, too.
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  It's very hard to grow up into new, new relationships, new
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  friendships. Once they get what they want,
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  they move on to the next thing that they want.
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  Typically that's how it goes right there.
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  Yep, Yep, Yep. That's typically how it goes.
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  Once they get what they want from you, they move on to
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  someone else. You mean like a virus?
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  Like you ever see the Osmosis Jones, like just like the Thrax
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  from Osmosis Jones. We finally about to take out
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  Bill Mary and anybody goes, I'm going to beat my record, but I'm
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  going to beat my new record on this little this little little
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  girl. He isn't giving me divorce and
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  projecting me as the one that I don't want to be with him.
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  We are separated, but he's not giving me divorce or living good
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  with me. What can be done, please?
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  I mean, it really just depends. I don't know, like what type of
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  divorce, you know, culturally and whatnot.
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  It really just depends. Sometimes you have to force the
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  issue with divorces because they don't they don't they want you
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  to be the one that takes care of everything files.
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  You had to do all the paperwork and then sometimes they were
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  just drag it. They'll drag it out for as long
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  as they possible. I just like this.
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  Not a question I can answer in great great detail right now
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  because I got to hop off here in like 30 seconds anyway.
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  Y'all again, workshops. Every single thing is available
• 13:34
  at mentalillness.net. I do my one-on-one coaching.
• 13:36
  I do literally every single thing.
• 13:39
  Mental illness.net. I will see y'all later.
• 13:43
  Hit the subscribe button if you already have it and I am out.
• 13:46
  Peace. Be safe y'all, I'll be.