Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #66 Are You Going To Dirty Talk.... Or Not?

Transcript

#66 Are You Going To Dirty Talk.... Or Not? · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Matt. Before we get into the episode today, just want
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: to wish all the mothers out there a happy Mother's
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Day for Sunday. Just gone.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: My mum's in town at the moment, just sort of
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: stuck in town. It's a long story. And also April's mum.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you knew that. I had my suspicions,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: So happy Mother's Day. You're doing a fantastic job to
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: all the mums out there.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: I also want to say to all the moms out there,
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: thank you. I hope you had a fantastic Mother's Day,
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: in particular my beautiful wife, Laura, my mother. Raising a
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: family is incredibly hard, but the two of you do
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: an amazing job. I love you so thank you.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: We do. Thank you for your service.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie Jay
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: and I'm at. This is a podcast all about parenting.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: It is the good, the bad, and the related.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If you have come wanting any type of advice, this
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: is the wrong podcast for you.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, hey, before we do get into it, I was
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: away on the weekend. I went to a wedding and
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: at the wedding they had a beer package which was
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: subpar for me. I will say, if they're listening, I'm
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: sorry they didn't have stone wood. Okay, they had stone
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: wood there. I had to pay for it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Oh that wasn't included. That's cheeky, that's cheeky.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I get it, like people went with different packages because
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: different tastes. It's not catered for me.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: But also it's very sneaky. It's like saying, would you
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: like a glass of water, we have gut of water
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: for free, or we have ice sparkling, which is gonna
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: question money.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: And it was ten bucks a beer because it was
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: in an establishment. So I spent one hundred and fifty
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: dollars on beers that day at a wedding, and I
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: gave him a wedding gift.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Why don't you bring your own just rock up, rock
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: up with a carton of stone works.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Yes, but that leads me into what we're drinking today,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: which is specific gale and it is stone and wood
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: of course ah barn being a bottle. It is bar
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: ba cheers. So just like it tasted on the weekend.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Question for you, we're given a few different scenarios of
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: where the beer tastes better. We have barbecue at home,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: we have the football. Where does the wedding rank in improving.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: That after a subpar crispy laga that they had going
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: on there, and it was worth every cent it was
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: up there because everyone was walking around with their crap bees.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: But I do have to pay for it.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: But then that money then gets that you spent gets
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: reinvested in the podcast. Because so it's just the cycle
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: of life keeps.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Going of life. So we would like to thank Stonewood
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: for making this episode possible.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Cheers, Cheers to you, Cheers to us, Cheers to them,
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: cheers to all of us. Ash before I forget, we
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: have something very exciting that we've come up with. If
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: you would like to get your hands on a free
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: case of Stone would beer, All you have to do
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: is put a story up on so media of you
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: listening to the pod tag us, tag Stone and Wood,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: and we'll pick one person per week to have a
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: case of b sent directly to the home. But we'll
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: put those details in the show notes. How are you man,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I'm good.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: We did go away, like I said, we did go
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: on holidays. Well okay, let me stop.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: We am seeing that wedding. No, I was just relaxing.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I was just an enjoyer of weddings. It was a
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: lovely wedding. I shouldn't I shouldn't shit on them. It
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: was a lovely wedding, great view, great outlook. But it
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: was a wedding in which we didn't take the children.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: So of course we got to travel without the kids together.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: April and I have for the weekend just solo. It's beautiful.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: It takes a little while to acclimatize that new environment.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: It's like you've forgotten your keys or something like something's missing.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: That's right, my screaming children.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was peaceful, but with you know, a mummy
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: and daddy weekend, mummy and daddy things tend to happen
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: go on. So we did travel with another couple. They
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: didn't have their kids. Obviously. It was great, nice and
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: free flowing chat about all sorts of things. As adult
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: weekends happen. Adult things can sometimes happen.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Where are you going?
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: So we were traveling carry on because we just went
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: for two nights. We sort of got We got halfway
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: through the security line and I leer over to what
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: April was doing on the phone, and she was googling
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: something quite suspicious. Matthew, what do you think she was googling?
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Maybe like liquids, like how much you can Yeah, because
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: everyone's always a bit confused about domestic versus international. I
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: think you like, I still don't know it was it.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Did you like a bottle of water, like a therapy water?
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: What a women like to bring them? No? No, they
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: like it's a comfort water. Give me one second. An
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: emotional support water bottle?
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes, water bottle.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: No, it's an emotional support water bottle. What's the difference?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: It provides emotional support. How the bigger the water bottle,
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: the more support for us.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: We should get. We should make drink bottles that have
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: a little pep talking and see press the button. It's
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: like you can do it.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: And make it massive, bigger than the standing.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So she had to check that in like that
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: wasn't in a garage and to check that in anyway,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: she got a bit freaked out midway through the line
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: because the person that security was going laptops out of
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: the bag, you know how they do that sort of stuff.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: And she was googling if she can take sex toys
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: through carry on?
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: What kind of sex toys is she bringing? Ones that
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: have like serrated edges and a lighter.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: She was worried that she was going to get it
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: like a laptop, get it out of her bag, put
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: it to the extra.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: How many did she have with her?
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: No, she just had the one. She just had the one,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Amy Gerrard. She just had the one. But
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: it was really fun because I was like, what are
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: you doing? And she's googling? Can I take sex toys on?
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Carry on?
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: And what was Google telling her?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: We didn't get that. Viger was but a stop to
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: that immediately.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Never tries to Google, first and foremost, and first of.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: All, I was guaranteed I was getting some on the weekend.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: So that's a did you know what?
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Did you know what was in the bag? Did you know?
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: You were like, and then she was like, oh, hang
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: on a minute, can you carry my bag for me? Ah?
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: It was my bag And obviously you don't have to
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: get it out like it's a laptop because the laptop
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: that it's like, I don't know what the deal is
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: with that. Is it the lithium? I was like, I
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: don't know. It must be like a petrol powered sex toys. Like,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: make sure you get that out of She's got a
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: pull start to stroke to stroke is correct. She was like,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: come on, just stack my bag for me. I was like,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: pretend it's your bag.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: But also, do you think that the way that you
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: were acting, like if April was getting a little bit
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: flustered and she's like you carry it and you're like,
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: I'm not carrying it, you carry it? Do you reckon?
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Security would have been looking at the two of you going,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: this is a red flag.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I said, let's just let's just get it out, and
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: she's like, don't, don't you dare.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: You guys are like showing all the signs for suspicious
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: people who are potentially carrying something that cavity search. You
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: didn't get it, No, you didn't get it out.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: She was very She said, I would be so embarrassed
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: if you get it. I said, but it's my bag. Apparently,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: so I had to take the bag through and that way,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: if it was like Sarah, is this your bag? I
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: would have had to be like, yes, that is my bag.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Do you think the guy sitting there in the chair
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: looking at the screen as things are being X ray
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: do you reckon? He could have seen that thing and.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: He would have seen that next to a bottle of
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: loom going something's not right, my man. I wonder why
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: the bag took forever to come through. But I can
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: imagine that they would have to deal with that scenario
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: a lot, right, It be like people just going on
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: to carrol On especially, it's like two people, you know,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: like a couple going away. They would see some serious shit. Yeah.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: So if you operate one of those machines, what have
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: you seen? What have you seen? Look, if you've seen
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: one of those fists, there's big black, giant sign of
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: a judgment.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: It's like it's like up to your elbow.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not getting any because of it. In a second,
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: a second, No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Here's tricky. It is tricky when you're away from the
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: kids and you're at something like a wedding, because on
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: the one hand, you're like, oh, man, I'm child free,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I can let lukes, I can have fun, I can party.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: But then at the same time, these days, I dare say,
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: once it gets past eleven o'clock and I've had a
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: bit to drink, yeah, the chances of having a little snuggle. Yeah, Aka,
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: there's a scale.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So April always says she wants to be at
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: peak performance.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: She's an athlete.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Happening, It's not happening after you've had a couple drinks.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: She takes pride in her work, and I like that
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: about her.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so it's like a next day thing. But
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: also we were sharing an airbnb with another couple, so
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: it's like she's also trying to be discreet. I don't
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: know how that would have happened.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: And you are quite loud.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I'm allowed, man, Yeah, yeah.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: You're like, wait a second, no, I'm not anyway, it
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: was lovely weekend, So that's how I am.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Can I ask?
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Can I ask? If I may? And I do?
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: What is this?
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: It's fluff on the table, could be my cat's fur.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Can I ask? And I don't want to pry too
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: much into your private life. I know April doesn't really
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: appreciate it too much talking about these types of topics.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: She's so sick of being embarrassed.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: But yes, I'll put this one on you. Then do
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: you do you do much? How do you say? Dirty
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: talk in the bedroom? Nothing?
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: What am I going to say? Oh? Those dishes really
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: need a good cleaning.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: I mean no, come back? No, no, no, you don't
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: give like a little bit of some something you know,
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: like you ever give like.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: Is this a sex podcast now?
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Because I'm also I'm not one to be very vocal
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: in the bedroom. Every now and then I sometimes give
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: like a oh, like that's great, that's good award, But no,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: do you know what makes it even more awkward?
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Or Like recently, recently, Laura and I we were intimate
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: if you will, if you will, and and I was like,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to throw some some some
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: words out. I'm going to say some things. I'm going
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: to like you know, I just I feel like Laura
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: really likes it. She loves it. She loves it when
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I'm vocal. But there's nothing more awkward than someone like
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: myself who was not very vocal, who was trying to
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: be vocal, and you know, when you're thinking about the
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: words you're about to say, and the more you think
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: about it, she's you got to just get it out.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: And I'm thinking, is that gonna sound weird to say it?
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: To say to say it, and I said it, but
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: I said it to quietly. And then Laura said, huh.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Well that's sexy.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: And You're like, do you like that. What do you say?
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you said, do you like that? Oh my god,
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: my skin's crawling. That's so awkward.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: No, do you like that? No?
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm not into that. That is so especially
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: when she's especially just like, what did you say? I
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: like that?
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: What are you meant to say?
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Nothing?
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: What do people?
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: I just think it's hard.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Laura.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: There's people that like do it, and there's people who don't.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: I feel like ninety nine percent of guys don't say anything.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: No, they would, there'd be women listening right now, going
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I haven't had a man ever say anything. It's the best.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: It's the only time. It's probably the only time.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I don't say if there's any female happy for the
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: quiet time, if there's any female listeners, just a couple
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: of and like our dms are going to be say
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: full of filth? What's what's a line that you wouldn't
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: mind hearing during sex? Help a guy out, help a
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: man out, help two men out? Wow, who are struggling?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Actually speaking about the topic of sleep.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Sexual sleep? Or is this actual sleep?
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: This is actual sleep, So actual sleep. I love sleep,
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: actual sleep. Laura very busy during the week, very Busy
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: has a schedule that is absolutely jam packed in Ashton
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Wicks and she's up quite early in the mornings during
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: the week as well. She's definitely not getting her eight
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: hours so come the weekend she does like a lion
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: does like a lion, and I'm more lion. That's terrible.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: That's a terrible It was one of your works. Sorry,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: we'll leave it in there. Lie in got it?
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And I sometimes say you know that, like that must
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: have been a nice lion, and she's like, no, I
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: didn't get a good night's sleep last night because I
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: was up so much with the girls.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: First of all, please, that could come across two different ways.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Go on, you don't want to stir the pop by saying, oh,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: that must have been a nice line. Who she thinks
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: you've been cheeky. That was a jab a jab, like, no,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: it must be nice to lie in.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: No, it's that's not it's very aggressive. I I don't
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: poke like that. It's more of a like I did
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: good to give you that, lion.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: So now it's your to think, well, hang on, so
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: yes that you're just well, I give it.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Hang on. Let's we're getting off track here, okay, So
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: we're getting off track here, and and I'm being attacked,
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: which I also don't appreciate. Okay, this is a safe place.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: You should know that as you were. I never judge
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: you bullshit. But she was like, I just I still
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: feel tired even though I've been in bed for you know,
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: eight or more.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Funny must have overslept.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: But she said, I'm up all night, all throughout the night.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: And I was like, let me just check my stats.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Because I wear my garment into bed. I like to
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: have a little glance from now and then how my
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: sleep is going. I was up last night for four
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: minutes total.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: That's pretty good.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: My garment gives me that reading and four minutes. Yeah,
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I'm a pretty heavy sleeper. And Laura was like, She's
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: like that's like that's that must be bloody nice to
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: only be like that normal. I don't know for people.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: So Laura couldn't believe it. Laura was like, I'm up
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: at least seven eight times throughout the night. And I
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: was like, no, you're not like that. That's an exaggeration.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: I know, I know, So I said, I said, look
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: where the garment. Where the garment? Let's track your sleep
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: recently on Laura's podcast Life on Cut.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: She has said, this Saturday afternoon, we went to a
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: friend's house, had quite a few margaritas in the afternoon,
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: and I was feeling a little bit spicy and dicey. Anyway,
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: went to bed Matt that night. He was like, Okay,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: where my gum, and see how your sleep is. Not
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: only do I know that I woke up so much
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: during the night, because but when I'm a bit hungover,
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: I can't sleep, so I'm awake, like laying at the
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: ceiling awake.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: Not only that, did I get it?
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: I got up three times for Lola. Lola came into
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: the bed, I went up and I got a bottle
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: of water.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Anyway, I woke up in the morning and I was like,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: I am so glad I wore the garment last night,
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: because he's going to see just how bad my sleep was.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Eight hours and twenty five minutes awake for two minutes.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: She's essentially blamed.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: She's blaming the technology. I mean, someone is reputable as garment.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know how long they've been in operation. I
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: want to say, I've got to grow up with him.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: At the moment, I know you do. But also you
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: and Laura both She's just you're cut from the same cloth.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: She's you can't okay it's been attached to your wrist
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: or not, and you're saying that it's giving Matt one
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: reading and you're completely different reading, and you're not willing
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: to accept that.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: I will say, I will say deep sleep two hours
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: eighteen light sleep six hours, twenty one minutes. Rem not
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: enough here, thirty three minutes. Guess how long she was
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: awake for?
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: How long?
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Two minutes? Two minutes?
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: How dare she'll have a dig at you? I can,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: I can see her face right now. Just be like, no,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: that's not true. I was up hoops of times.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: She rips the garment off, smashes it on the ground.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: That's unbelievable.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: The garment doesn't lie.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Bro, you're awake six minutes in the middle of the
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: night like that. I checked mine. I'm awake forty eight minutes.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: What are you doing for forty eight minutes?
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: I'm usually getting smacked in the face by Oscar. He
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: cannot sleep in his bed to save his life. Wow,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Like he is in he does this thing where he
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: gets in and just puts his hands around my throat.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Is he trying to kill me?
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Macy's still in the cot right, Oscar's in a little,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: a little bed.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: He's in like a single bed.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Does he have a say, daddy, come in line in
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: bed with me?
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: No, he's he can't because he's in my He thinks
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: my bed's his bed, so he.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Never asks you to come into his bed.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, No, I have done the thing where he comes
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: into me and I've gone I'm not putting up with this,
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: and I just go straight in his bed.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, that's slack.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: And then I wake up Macy's mate, like, wake up
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: next to Mazie and she's like, so much is that
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: what looks like.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Lola does a thing rarely happens with me, happens always
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: with Laura. Obviously the favorite where she'll say, like, come
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: into bed with me, Like she wakes up, she can't
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: find a dummy. You go in the room, give her
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: the dummy, and then she's like, hop in a bed
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: with me for the first time. Wow, for the first
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: time last night ever. Maybe it's happened once a week.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: You can remember, Yeah, I have a bad memory, let's
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: sake for four minutes. But she was like, I gave
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: her the dummy, was waiting for her to say, not
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: you, you're prick. Where that didn't happen. It's not long enough
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: to be She can smell me even when she's asleep.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: She's like, sounds like it come, smells like a little
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: bit desperation comes with a desperate one literally, except that
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: I gave her the dummy and she then looked at
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: me and she said coming to bed with me?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Did you just turn the lute and goes?
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Because then I was like, I was like, you know,
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: I'm not Laura. I don't want to stuff this up,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: did you I don't want to stuff it up? Well,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: I so like slow. She's also very particular where she's
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: like she's got little toys and sometimes you know, yeah,
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: and you're like lean on a toy and she's like
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: your fucking your Jimmy, get off with me animal and
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Timmy gets so you know, I'm worried. I'm like, you know,
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I don't want to step She's like Laula's a mum
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: in her bed. She's got a little babies, her soft toys,
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: so I don't want to damage a soft toy. Also
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: sometimes not sure what side she wants me to go
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: in like, there's so many rules, it's I'm walking on
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: it's stuff.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: But then the harder it is to get.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the more I wanted. I know that's the sad
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: thing about being desperate.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: But I got into bed with her and it was
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: like being in bed.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: With I'm a child.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: I knew. I knew that it was coming, the fact
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: that she was going to say get out, get out
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: of bed. Yeah, but I was just like, it's not.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: It's not when it's if. But I was like, every
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: second was the second that I was enjoying savoring.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: How are you fitness in four minutes? I don't know.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: This is before I went to bed? Okay, sorry, So
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: I was like, whoa, No, this was like I was
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: hopping in a bed and you know when you go
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: to bed and the moment your head hits the pillow,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: the kids wake up. Oh yeah, I want to those scenarios.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: I was in bed with her. I got like forty
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: five seconds. I'm going to say, in bed with her.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: But there's a reason, Ashay, is a reason why she's
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: warm to me.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: Something that I'm now doing, do it? Give it during
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: during the day?
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Is this a visual I'm going to get the seasoning.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: This, my friend, is a visual and we will put
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: this on socials because maybe there are some parents out
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: there who have a child that hates them. This trick
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: to trick maybe all you need to get those kids
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: back on side. Yeah, okay, watch this video and see
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: if you can figure out.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: What the heck is. Oh that's you. You go so handsome.
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: Oh don'ta who have you got there?
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, is your doggie? Do you need a little pat
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: on his nose?
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Maybe you your dog?
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: He's gonna eat me. So the hack is pretend to
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: be to pretend to be another pant.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I have to pretend to be a dog, and it
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: works like a charm.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: It's it's unbelievable, hold your head or anything like that.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: But the issue is like, whenever I'm not the dog,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: she's like, be the dog again.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: You get down on the little force.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: She loves to ride me.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: It's but nothing has been more effective.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: She who gave you this tip.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: It kind of just wire playing one day and I
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: kind of just organically fell into the role of the dog.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: And then from that moment on I saw she her
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: eyes lit up and she was like, ah my puppy,
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: and I was like, gotouses.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, first a cat, Now the guy who owns me
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: starting to act like a dog in his grass.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: I can't win here. I got three legs. Lola can't
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: get enough of me. That's good as a dog. So
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: I read her a bedtime story and I'm.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Like, a leg would completely ruined it.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it is concerning.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Telling her friends going, Dad's lost it. No, I reckon
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: lost the plot.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: I reckon. She she loves it. She's like this pathetic guy.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: She's like, I've managed to get him to pretend to
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: be a dog, and he's fucking taken a hook line
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: and sinker took. And she's like, he's such a loser,
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: he will do anything.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: They're at Kindy now, sitting around the blocks going guess what.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: She's like, Yeah, you couldn't believe. I get him eating
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: outside now from a dog bowl. He can't ship or
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: piss inside the house. Him and Buster just keeps coming
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: back for more. I've noticed if you have a dog
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: bed in the bedroom, must be mine. That's mine. So
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: if ever she's having a tantrum, it's a little it takes.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Is that why you barked at me when I came in.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so. I'm so in character now. I bit
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: the postman when he came yesterday, just to impress.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Lola, poor buster. The things we do, the things you do,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: the things you have to do to gain the love
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: of your child. And honestly, you've really scraped the bottom
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: of the barrel.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: I'll stop at nothing.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: That's good to know. Yeah, she was very sweet to you.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I could see she's very sweet. It's good to know
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: she's like that nice to animals.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: But she's got it in her.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: She does have it in it, just not going to
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: be with a dog for the rest of your her
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: eighteenth birthday.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: Walking down wedding.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Very good. Marley and Oscar like the same age, and
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Oscar hasn't quite understand that attitude and hone also comes
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: into it when you're conversing with someone. So I'm chatting
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: with you. If I was like a good one, bro,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: you're like, well, tone was off, tone was off. If
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I said good one, bro, you'd be like that I
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: love that or something like that. So Ostri quite hasn't
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: worked it out. But he started to do this thing,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: which it's rude, It's it's fucking rude, but he doesn't
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: know that, so I don't know if Marley does it too.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: And it's about the tone in which he converses with me.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: And I'll try and give you an example and see
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: where you can pick up what I'm talking about. So
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: normal person would say, hey, are we going to the park? Question?
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Very monotoned, straight out yeah, no attitude, Yes, no question.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: He's picked up this thing where he goes, are we
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: going to the park or not? I love that, But
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: he does it with everything. He'd be like he was
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: like eating rice bubbles and he was like, oh, can
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I have some more? Please? Really lovely? I was like yeah.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: He was like, are you going to me some moral
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: not just adding the or not?
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: Such? Are like or not? Should I just give up?
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: Wanting an extra bit of milk?
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: He said this morning because we were talking about what
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: he wants his birthday. His birthday's coming up, and that's cool, you're.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: Gonna get me a president or not.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: That's exactly what he said. But he doesn't know it's
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: it's it's he doesn't understand the tone in the conversation.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: How do you explain this to him?
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: I can't. I even have tried to sass him back
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: and be like, Bro's he takes that as a yes
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: because I've said, Okay.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I loved how like you've got. You've got two ways
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: of dealing with it. You can sit him down and
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: explain the right and wrong way to use tone, and
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: you're like.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Because that'll just would you relax?
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: Bro, Yeah, he's four, He's not going to understand here
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: we walking around his inflections of his way off. He'd
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: be like one of those kids that one of those
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: people grow up with like a weird inflection where they
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: just like, don't don't quite hit the high hode on
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: the conversation. So I feel like if I sass him
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: back and enlf, he'll be like, what's with the tude?
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: And you can be like, I'm glad do you bring
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: it up?
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: Or just building his arsenal of tone he's now.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was like he was. Are you gonna hug
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: me or not? Are you gonna cuddle me or not?
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: I'll see if I can get some footage of him
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: like how direct it's the or not, especially like the
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: most simplest thing, he's like, you're gonna help me my
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: shoes or not? But like as Malia know, the only
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: thing that she does.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know if it's just something that's ingrained in
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: us that isn't necessarily taught. It just happens over time.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: But she rolls her eyes. Oscary's the worst at that
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: rolls attitude.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: It's unacceptable.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: Maybe like maybe I don't know if other kids are
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: doing it.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: He's so good at it too, those young eyes.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: Hes young, so flexible. Literally in the back of it,
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: like you shipping a season. She's just disgusted in me
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: trying to get it ready for bed. But if I say,
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: if I say, all right, my TV's going off, it's
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: time for the bar, She's like, where did this come from?
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: And then you're just gonna wait for it to be
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: like are we gonna have ice cream or not? No
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: or no? It's it's a very American thing. They go
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: is that right? Or no?
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Lola is going to be like are you going to
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: be a dog or not?
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Are you going to be a dog or not?
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: Get back into it.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: They need to work on their attitude. These kids, speaking
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: of attitude, should be going to our favorite segment, which
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: is petty Couples Please or not? Are we going to
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: do this segment or not? Petty couple Welcome down the street.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Petty couple.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: They kind of like with me couple. I love you, but.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I no one can push me quite like you.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: Let me in on your humor, Matt.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: I hope you will say. I fucking love this segment
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: so much because I am a very petty person you
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: are as you picked up.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: People always ask me what's Ash like, and I say,
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: he's he's lovely, but he's very petty.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: He's very petty, and I honestly I love it the
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: repercussions of it down the track when they say Karma
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: almost welcome.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: He Karma is a bitch. I should know. I'm better. Sorry,
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: Jojo Sell, what's up? Great new song?
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Get stream, Get get.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Anyone who's not watching eight hours of TikTok a day
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: must be very confused right now.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay, anyway, let's get back to it. This one's
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: from Maccaw. Macca says, my husband is petty whenever we argue,
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: so much so that he builds a pillow fort between
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: us in the bed so he can't see me or
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: we can't touch it.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Talk about talk about a child, She says, I have
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: a variation of this.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Go on.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: I get the ships with April watching TV in bed
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: on her phone and then turning all the lights out
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: to get like the mood for herself. But I'm trying
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: to sleep, okay, and I get.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: To headphones in or.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Blue light. The other day she was doing it. And
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I've set up a pillow fort across where my head
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: is so if she turns around, you can see my body.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: But I love that. Who knew those skills we learn
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: as six year olds building forts would come in handy
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: when we're married.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what the only time does come in.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: We have like a limit on the number of pillows
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: in our bed. I'm only allowed one pillow.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: You're allowed one pillow, one pillow.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. When I sleep, just so you know, I sleep
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: my elbows out and so I pushed the pillow. So
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Laura has got me on it. She's rationed me to
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: one pillow in the bedroom. Hey, what's your pillow preference firm?
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Or I had? Ah, this is going to be disgusting.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: Go on. I've had the same pillow for the whole
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: time I've been with.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: April thirteen years. How yellow is stained?
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Is it? It's not. It's like a foam pillow. Okay, okay,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: with a mesh out one.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Does it have a use by date? Because some pillows
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: now have like you should.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: It's a marketing plot.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Hey, this one is from anonymous. You can I just
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: I will remind people anonymous or not, Matt, they are anonymous.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: You don't have to give your details. Some people, as
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: I can appreciate.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: They want to stay.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: And there are a few couples, a few couples who listen,
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: both listening and I can you imagine hearing in your partner.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: The kids that are listening in the car now is
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: great that they're talking about parents to this kid.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: So they are anonymous. They say my us here we go.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: My husband listens hello, so you can't say my name.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: He's a five FO worker and he always likes to
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: get one last bit of sexy time in before he
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: flies out.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: That's completely fair.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Go so in his last day, when the kids are
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: at school, you know, or during daycare, that's the time
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: for this sexy time business time. However, if he annoys
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: me during the week, for example, if he goes fishing
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: and he hasn't done his jobs around the house, sexy
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: time is not going to happen. So she says, I
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: purposely booked something in during his desired sexy time window
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: and say it's the only time they had left and explain,
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: you know, I can't take the kids when you're gone,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: so this is my only time to do it.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Take that clever, clever. And also April says that to me.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: The realization there it's the only time they could do it.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: It's the only time they could fit me in. Oh really,
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: do you know what next time she says that to me,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: I'm going to ring the place and be like, I
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: heard this is the only time you can fit her in.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: I reckon they'd be like, it's a husband, just make
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: a make up a story code red.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Should we go into questions.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: As before we go into listening questions A really quick
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: one with your breakfast with the kids in the morning,
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: do you give them an option or do you just
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: make their breakfast and they get what they're given?
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: Well, Oscar would say, you're gonna give us options or not?
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Little kid, little bastard. I give them options. I usually
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: would say what do you want for breakfast? Macy? The
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: answer is usually so, which is toast? I got that okay,
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: But lately she's like just gonna kill The voice makes he's.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: In the room right now.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Oscar's like nursery grains, which is nutral neutral grain that
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: he will say toast now how she says it?
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: Do you do you ever? My kids do this all
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: the time, and it does my head in this morning,
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: Marley was like, I want scrambled eggs, which I'm happy
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: to do. Us, which I'm happy to do. It's a
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: ball egg because obviously you got to.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing it.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: You gotta make the scrambled eggs just eggs, see they Maley.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: It's the one dish that she eats all of it herself,
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: so I can. I can make it. It's high effort.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: How many eggs too? She's pretty good, thank you, thank you.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: She's no one. She's lifting more than you at the gym.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: She's just like your dad.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: Don't kick me when I'm down, mate, Sorry, sorry, sorry,
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: but I make the eggs. I put the eggs in
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: front of her. She says, I want wee bicks all
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: the time, dude all the time, and then we'll have
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: a full blown meltdown, like kicking and screaming tantrum because
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: I don't because I'm like, I'm not gonna waste these eggs. Yeah,
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: you gotta eat the eggs.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fair, mate, you are not in the wrong.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what do I do here?
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: I think if she I'm a very big fan of
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: if you make your bed, you're laying it.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: She's got to sleep in the scrambled egg.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: Yes. Well, when I was a kid, anything I didn't
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: eat or I didn't put into the dishwasher or the
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: sink ended up in my bed.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: What.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was the threat.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: And who did it actually end up in there? No?
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Because I would scared the ship out of me. So
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: I never do I recall. I definitely think some dishes
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: have been in there.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: I do, Yeah, I do recall my mom my older
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: brother Adam. Not to call you out. I hope you will,
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: but he's not listening. He used to never put his
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: dishes in the in the dishwasher and he just leave
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: it on the kitchen table. I do recall mum putting
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: that in his beds.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: A generational thing. But we didn't never have a dishwasher
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: because we're no, we just didn't. We just didn't have one.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure what we lived in a rental back then,
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: they didn't. Now they're like standard, but like it was
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: it was an ongoing threat from my dad, which course
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: we'll probably handed down from here.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: So I should threaten to put the eggs in Marley's bed.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do see what happens? Just be like or older.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: If you don't eat it, now, next time you ask
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: me for something to eat, this is what you'll be eating.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: So like, for example, I don't want to disagree with
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: you here, because kids always go go like, say for dinner,
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: they're like, I'm full, and then they're like, I want
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: to snack, and it's like whoa, whoa, whah, whoa whoa.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: If you're fool, you can't eat a snack. And if
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: you want to snack, you must be hungry. So if
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: you're hungry, he's dinner.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: Laura is going to be so confused when she's like,
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: why do we have moldy eggs in Marley's bed?
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: All week?
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: I think a lesson from Ash. I think if she
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: wants to have a melt down over it, let her
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: have the melt down and go there's still nothing else,
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: so that she knows that even though she melts down,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: she's not going to get the results she wants. Am
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: I a genius or not? I think like, I'm not
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: having that. If if Mazie do this thing where they're like,
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: I want a banana, love that forru It's great. Take
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: one bite and I catch them trying to put it
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: in the bin and I'm like, get it out of
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: the bin. Now you're eating it. Get it out of
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: the bin. You're not eating anything else. Or you can
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: go to bed and it could be like nine in
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: the morning, You're going to bed like that's the threat
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: and usually gets them.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: Usually a few times my kids have slept thirteen hour wise.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: I'm dusting that banana off and it's going straight in
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: my mouth.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: I'll go Another question this is that was a one
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: I threw in there that was a host question. That
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: was a host question. Has this from Jessica Oh? How
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: to stop a twenty two month old from hitting, pinching,
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: biting her four year old sister without us smacking her?
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Do you have that you're not smacking your children? Because
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: but why is it always the younger one hitting the
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: older one? Because Macy's the same.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: I think, what does she doing to ask her?
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: She just she sits on him. He just teases him
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: because he It's all about the reaction of the other kid.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: I would say, just a four year old really react
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: and if so, the other one knows they're going to
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: get a little reaction out of it. And we're all
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: about reactions. Don't my kids? Thankfully you don't bite. They
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: definitely hit each other, but not with any malice.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: This is controversial and I'm definitely not condoning this type
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: of behavior because she is saying she doesn't want to
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: resort to violence.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because that would just make it then the kids
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: think it's okay to hit people. Okay, that's what I'm saying,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: but just.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: Hear me out.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Depends what you hit him with.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: And I will just preface this and say it's not me.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: I didn't do this. I'm also not saying that other
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: people should do this, but I'm just giving it. I'm
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: just giving an example of what happened with a family
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: friend of ours.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: I'm locked in.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, so they had a child I was younger when
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: when this is happening. They had a child that wouldn't
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: stop biting out kids. Was a serial bitter.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: It was like almost like a cannibal, just like to
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: taste other people.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: He just wouldn't stop biting, and it was a real problem.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: Because no one likes a bitter That's like, that's one
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: of I think the worst scenarios. If you're in the
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: park and your kid is biting other kids.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: They must be embarrassing. It's embarrassing and people listening to that.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know because thankfully my kids are perfect.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: It's like what people who have been that situation. It's
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: like a low point.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that sucks. That sucks.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: It's a tricky one. So she was in that scenario,
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: and I remember my mom was speaking to her and
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: saying like, this is what you should try doing. Obviously,
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: like they're trying to talk it out. Then one day
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: she came in and she's like, I fixed the problem.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: So she caught him biting someone. She just then turned around.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: You know where this is going. No, she just bit
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: her kid. She gave him a taste his own medicine.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Oh my.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: God, never bit again. I don't know how hard she
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: was biting him, but I think she would.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: She made him like do we actually do do we
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: actually have a conversation about this before where April pretended
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: to because Macy went to or Oscar went like like
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: a Nora on her arm, but not like a bit
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: like oh and able did it back.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: I don't remember that.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: And he went and she was like, see, you know,
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: you know it didn't actually buy it?
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: Did it work? The juries out? I don't know. She's
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: going to be more forceful. She got to draw blood?
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: Is that what happened? You have to bite a finger
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: off for it?
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: Let me get les trained. This person? Kid? Yeah, bit
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: another kid at a park.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know the exact location.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: Actually, if you're going to specifics, okay, just say just
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: let's hypothetically was it a park. Then her reaction his
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: or her.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: Reaction their own kid? They bit their kid?
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: How do you like it?
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: Situation exactly? And they never bit again, never well bit again.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that we should go out there
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: and start biting our own kids.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: I hope you're not saying that because that will get
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: us canceled. But there's a bunch of vampires out there going, that's.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: All I'm saying.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: That's pretty red heart I say.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, as Laura says, like, we've got a three
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: year old who still has a dummy where we don't
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: know how to stamp out that kind of negative behavior.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: So you probably shouldn't come to me for advice.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: It's also like that when you go through school and
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: stuff like that, they say, treat others how you want
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: to be treated, spit like that sort of situation. So
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: maybe we'll go with it. Maybe don't bite your kids.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: Maybe go how would you like it if I bit You?
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: Know that general parenting stuff sucks?
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it does.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: By the way, get it set a knuckle dust.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: You're a parent out there, bite your kids or not?
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: Do that or not? Will emphasize are you going to
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: bite me or not? I have a question for you.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: This is from Lucinda. Hello, Lucinda High Leucinder. It's a
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: very pretty name.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: It's a beautiful Listen to Bell. Was a girl on
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: my primary school Lovely, lovely, young lady Lucinda Bell Cinder
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Bell could be her Lucy Goosey.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: Listen to Bell. What what's wrong with that?
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: Lucy Goosey? Lucinda Bell?
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: You don't know how she turned out? Fuck is wrong
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: with you? Who handles bedtime at your place? She goes
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: on to say, we had to do a full contract
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: right up and sign it.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: Who doesn't, Oh, it's tough, it is.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: At what point do you get to the stage where
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: it's like we need a contract. Did he like marriage?
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Bedtime contract?
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: Lawyers? Like, you want to do what?
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: What do you want to get drawn up?
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: I don't think you can do that. Do it? Are
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: you gonna do it or not?
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: We share it, We share it, but every now and then, Like,
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: there's definitely parts of the bedtime routine that I lean into.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: There's parts that I absolutely hate.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: What do you hate?
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: I'm glad you asked defeeding of the dinner?
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Was that part of the bedtime routine?
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: But surely that's part of no, because it always goes
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: like for us anyway, it's very quick, quick success.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Leaning into nighttime routine, it's very different.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: What do you mean nighttime? It's all the same. It's
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: all the same. I'm gonna lump it all in because
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: we have dinner, we have a bit of quiet time,
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: have the bath, PJS on, we're asleep.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: So that's the nighttime, nighttime, nighttime route. You just said it.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: I don't want to get into an argument. So bath
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: is is that included? Yes? How the fuck is a
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: bath included? And the dinner's not? Let's not fight on
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: the podcast. Do you know what I started doing? Didn't
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: like the bath? I now get in the bath with them.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: We naked.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: No no, no, I wear my budgies. That would be weird. No,
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: no judgment if you do go on in the bath naked.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: I feel like shower. You're allowed to be naked.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: Ba I love those showers. It's like showering winter.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Balls in the head. I wear my budgies in the
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: bath and I and I find it makes it more
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: fun and it also it's easier.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: It's pretending to be a dog or a human.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: I mean should but brushing teeth. Hate that. That sucks.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: Kids don't like it. That's what that's going to go.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: My kid, Macey's gone from mintce to toothpaste.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: She loves toothpaste. See also at the moment, I'm a
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: bit off reading to the kids unless it's our book,
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: which is also available Breader right now. I love I.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: As soon as I start reading, I can't stop yawning.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's sane. I don't do the reading very often.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: It's for us. It's like we'll bath, like when we're
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: sort of in and out of the bathroom at different
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: times because we've got you know. April was like, oh,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: remember to do something so we can we use that
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: time for the tag team. Yeah, we use that time
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: for the other person to clean up downstairs and just
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: you know whatever.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: But I would I will take cleaning the kitchen any
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: day of over trying to get the kids ready for bed.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So then I will get the kids out of
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: the bed, April will get Macy ready, and I'm usually
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: getting Oscar ready right, which he's a silly bugger, so
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: you're just like trying to catch him starters and it's like,
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: then I'll give the kids a kiss good night, and
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: then they'll read with April because she's much more patient
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: than me with the reading. When you don't have I
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: just don't. I need to get tested. I can't handle it.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I can't handle it boring. There you go. I said it,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: But like I'll do it.
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you are reading unless you are getting out to question.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: I do do it sometimes. Like if April is out
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: on a boozy lunch it's extended.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Which is most weekends more from than nine am. I right,
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: I love you, April. I'm I'm joking. Continue.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: She always gets the raw in there.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: She we love it.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: She goes out once once a quarter a year. We're like, again,
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: we're just milking that one time. Uh, and then I'll
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: do the where you read the start of the book
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: and you're like and the end in the bed.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: You gotta you gotta, you gotta flick a couple of pages.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: I've found, like there's nothing more nerve racking when you're
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: reading a book. And in my head, I'm like, well,
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: this is a long book. I'm just gonna like as
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: I turn this page, I'm going to clump in three
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: or four pages together, and then I turn it. Marley
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: is so bloody smart. She's like, what are you doing
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: the bell?
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Do you miss the synopsis?
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: She's like what happened there?
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: She's like, I know the sequences?
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: She knows sequence to calls me out of it. Lolla
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: has no idea, She's just like this is grated down, yeah,
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: getting down there.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: And pant April does this thing where she reads the
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: book but changes the words to like not naughty words,
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: but like you know, balm and pooh and shit like
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: that where she's like and the bum bum king, and
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: like Oscar.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: Always gets to laugh, love, I always get to laugh,
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: and I.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: Think it's funny from the other room while I'm like
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: cleaning up and doing anything. But like it's mainly April
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: doing like from me getting Oscar dressed to giving them
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: both kissing and little cuddle. She's usually and then it
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: gives me a chance because I also make the dinner
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: for us, so sometimes it's finishing touching of the dinner whatever.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: I would love to know what everyone's preference is, the
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: dinner and cleanup or bath in bed.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, dinner and clean up as much easier.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: Ah doesn't talk back, It doesn't yell at it doesn't.
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: It doesn't. Sometimes I take the rubbish out a little
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: bit quiet time.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: Ah, dude, I come back back my.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: Head and see if it's still wake them up.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: Going back ahead, go to the recycling.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: That's good, very good gear. That's good gear.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: We should get out of here, we should. That cat's
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: been locked in my bedroom without the key, litter and
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: I'm ninety percent sure I've got diarrhea in the carpet.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Cat poo is gross.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: I'm going to sort that out. But if you have
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: liked this episode, please, we would love it if you
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: were to share it with anyone out there. Doesn't have
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: to be a parent, could be a non parent, just
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: not a pet parent. They may enjoy this episode and
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: get a laugh.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: The pet parents might like this episode because you pretend
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: to be a pet Yes, actually that pets a lot
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: a lot of pet chat, but you're not welcome.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: And give us a review. Yes on Spotify or Apple podcast.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: That'd be great.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: Whatever you prefer.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: You're preferent up to you. You decide, and.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, one thing before we go. We have a
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Facebook group. It's currently sitting at a whopping one hundred
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: and twenty eight members room for one or potentially maybe
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: two Doting dads on Facebook. Yes, find us. You can
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: request to be accepted and then we will think about it.
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: If you're a pet parent, will we will let it marinate.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: If there's any profile pictures with pets included, be careful.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: You're out of There'll see next week.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: Bye bye. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: and community.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land