Latest / Alive, I Guess Podcast / Episode 17 - Unemployment Be Happenin

Transcript

Episode 17 - Unemployment Be Happenin · Alive, I Guess Podcast

• 0:00
  unknown: I'ma lie.
• 0:01
  unknown: I'm a live like it.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'ma live like this.
• 0:06
  unknown: I'ma live like it.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'ma live like this.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we might as well talk about it.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Can we talk?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: What's good, Joe?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to your safe space.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, RJ, and this is the Alive I Guess Podcast.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, welcome.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you for joining.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've been here, welcome back.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you as always.
• 0:32
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• 0:37
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• 0:44
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• 0:52
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• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's alright.
• 1:04
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• 1:07
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• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to be discussing a topic that seems more common these days: unemployment.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to our government.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: This has been such a difficult, nearly impossible time to get a job.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: This job market is something crazy.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And unfortunately, unemployment is something that is more and more common these days.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: I recently just celebrated past the benchmark of a full year, unemployed.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna get into it today.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: But before we do that, you already know we gotta do a moment of gratitude.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening, say something out loud you're grateful for or in your head.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're watching, drop something below in the comments.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today, I'm grateful for this present moment.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: So often, I look outside of the present moment.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: I look in the past, look in the future, I be stuck in my head.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: But all we really have is this moment, and I'm grateful for it.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful to be able to even acknowledge the present moment because I've spent so much time living so many other places, whether that be past or present, that I am just taking a second to be where my feet are, and I'm grateful for it.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because we'll never get this moment back, not to get all existential on y'all so early.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: But alright, let's get into it.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Cause unemployment be happening.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: So if you would have told me a year ago that in a year from that day I would be a year unemployed, I'd tell you that you were absolutely crazy.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, okay, a year and a week, because I was technically unemployed a year ago.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: But if you would have told me a year and a week ago that same thing, I would have thought you were absolutely crazy.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because for some context, the last role that I had, I had just moved there, been there for about six months, really felt like the ball was rolling, getting a good head of steam until it wasn't.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was impacted due to some, let's say, workplace politicking, a riff, what however you want to look at it, should not have happened, but it did.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so here we are a year later, and I have learned a thing or two since that moment.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And what I can tell you is unemployment does something to your identity.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now, because of all that has evolved in this year for myself, I have come to understand that it can do both good and bad to your identity.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: What do I mean by that?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, this capitalist society, this world, this country, this corporation that we call America and the world in general has done a great job of making you believe that you are only valuable if you can contribute to society, aka a business.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not even society.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you got a job, like all of your worth and things you should aspire to do is how high you could go up in the corporate ladder.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want to be when you grow up?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: They start asking us this shit when we're like five or six.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like they really tie in who we are to who or what we work for in terms of a labor force.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: When people ask you, tell them about yourself, first thing you usually say is your career, what you do for work.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Shit, even I say I'm a podcaster.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's the first thing I say because that is my career, that is my occupation, that is how we've been wired to think.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like our occupation, our job has become who we are.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I am a salesperson, I am a retail worker, I am whatever you want.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Hustler, booster, looking for y'all, because we need some discounts over here.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: But who you are, how much you are keeping this wheel of capitalism going, has really turned into this sense of identity.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: So when you take that away, you feel a little bit lost.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like you don't really know what to do, who you are without it.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: You might have hobbies, you might have interests, but in the back of your mind, you're always thinking about how I can get back into this rap race.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's messed up, but they really, they really worked it into our systems for a long, long time at this point.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it's hard to shake.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And because it's so ingrained into who we are, our identity, when you don't have it, people are gonna just ask all the time, so what are you gonna do?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Are you looking for a job?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want to work next?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like your whole life becomes about seeking a new job, figuring out where you want to move in your career, what kind of company you want to work for.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's never like what goals, what personal goals you want to set and reach and strive for yourself.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's never what kind of personal growth you want to do.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when you're getting back to work.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Over the last year at some point, I've been asked a few times about where do you work?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Ah, and then you gotta come up with the well, I'm in between jobs or I'm actually not working right now, or that like uncomfortable conversation or excuse that you gotta kind of come up with, and then you see the pity on people's face, and then that just evokes more anxiety in you because it's like, fuck, bro, is it that bad?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're making me nervous.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to keep cool, but I see the worry in your face, and it's like, should I be more worried because I'm not working?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like, the answer's never clean.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's either I work here, and then you go on to explain, or you sit there juggling, fumbling, trying to come up with the excuse as to why you're not working.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's like this guilt or like embarrassment about being unemployed.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: The last company I worked at was also a very uh pretty well-known up-and-coming AI company.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: So when people found out I worked there, they are like on my ass trying to ask me questions and how do I like it.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: If people on LinkedIn, even though it says I haven't worked there, they're still like trying to probe me to get into like a job somewhere, and it's like, bro, you can't see that I don't work there anymore.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: But when you have this big like company name on your resume or people know you work there, that just increases the amount of questions you get and inquiries and interest in your job, and so it's like I actually don't work there anymore, is things a little bit more.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, not only are we trying to juggle those awkward conversations, trying to focus on paying bills and just keeping calm and not losing your head or spiraling, which spiraling does happen, you also lose this structure.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: You had a set schedule every day, all day.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: It gives you a sense of purpose, it gives you income, it literally gives you a sense of belonging because you belong to this company, and then that's all gone in an instant.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, maybe the first couple weeks, week, few days, it's like, wow, I get to sleep in, but eventually when it sets in, it's like, oh shit, what am I about to do?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna fill my days and my time with stuff?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because everybody's at work.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, not as many people as before, should be packed, everybody's unemployed, the gym be full, middle of the day.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, damn, you we we in the same boat, and that boat is unemployed.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: You get what I'm saying?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but usually in normal circumstances, it's like, yeah, you could go shopping, you could go to stores, ain't no lines, ain't no traffic, but everybody's busy, or at school, there's really not much to like do or to interact with.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your sleep schedule gets all messed up because you up later, and so you're sleeping in more, and that's just throwing you off for a loop.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like the structure kind of goes out the window, unless you're intentional with keeping a structure while you're unemployed.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: So when you lose the identity of the job title, you lose the income from the job, you lose how you were going through your day, it's like a big like culture shock to yourself, and you don't really understand how much of your self-worth is wrapped up into it until you ain't got it no more.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not talking like unemployed by choice, like I'm specifically talking about being unemployed by being pushed out, being let go.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they both have their own challenges, but like being unwillfully unemployed is a little different than choosing to leave a space and be unemployed.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've been in both situations.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: This one, a little harder.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: The one where I chose to leave, at least I left on my own accord.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: I could prepare, I had a choice in when I was leaving.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: This one came out of nowhere, unexpected, and I was not prepared for it.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Both have their challenges, but I feel the unexpected is worse than doing it on your own.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, but back to the spiraling.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So the day I got let go was wild.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: I remember like I woke up that morning just feeling off, but I the job I had it was remote.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so I um things have slowed up now that I'm reflecting on it, like the writing was kind of on the wall, but also the situation at work, like it was like this limbo phase for other reasons.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: There was like a change in management, so like I'm like, okay, like it's slow while they figure things out, right?
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: The day I got let go, I went to lunch with a friend, and I just have this weird feeling.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: The lunch itself is good.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Me and the homie, we talking, chatting up.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I leave and I get a text, and essentially it says paraphrasing, today's the last day.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now they could do this because at the time I was contracting, and in the contract it said I could be let go at any time for any reason.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it was really like, bitch, today's your day, we're done.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I had just put in so much work, I had just like really like set roots and created a foundation.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I worked so hard over the past X amount of months to really establish myself there.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And when it felt like the ball was just about to get rolling, and the way in which it happened, it was snatched from me.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: No warning, no let me hear out the situation, let's try to work something.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was like bye.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this is after I just left a company not too long ago that I was at for a few years.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in this economy, and I'm understanding the job market is changing, and I literally just drove home.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, no, I was on the phone with the person who was uh communicating that I was being let go, and we were trying to game plan, but I'm just like, what the fuck happened?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't even do nothing about this, like, bro.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: So by the time I get home, it's pretty much set in stone, right?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I walk in the house, I see my wife, and I'm just like in a state of shock.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I got let go, and I just start bawling, like weeping, because one, my pride is hurt, because the way they did it was so goddamn dirty.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: It it was not right how it happened.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: I have come to peace with it, but they had me fucked up.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I wasn't deserving of it.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even get an opportunity to understand what happened, and I felt discarded, I felt disrespected.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then you got the other side of it where it's like, what am I gonna do?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna pay bills?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: What like I don't know.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: All these emotions come flooding in, and I start spiraling.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like thinking the worst.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm going back, I've talked about it before.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I never want to put myself in a place where I was in 2017, where I was broke trying to figure it out, wasn't barely was getting by, like it was just stressful.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: And my wife's like, it's gonna be okay.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna come up with a plan, we're gonna figure it out.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Which part of me knew, part of me believed, but baby, that spiral was thick, and I spiraled, continued to spiral for a few weeks.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was barely hanging in there.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was just kind of like a shell of a person, not really thinking about what happens next, but like trying to get over my hurt from the situation.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like it took me a minute to game plan because I was just like, bro, what the fuck?
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, not knowing what to do.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's this sense of pressure to have it all figured out immediately.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: But as I quickly learned, this job market trying to get a job, good luck.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Good luck.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: It is tough at this point.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: I've applied to, I don't have an actual number, but I can confidently say well over 500 jobs.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well over.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm talking jobs, not like bullshit jobs.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not just trying to get a job for the sake of getting a job.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't put in too much work and grind it too hard to get up to where I am to go back into my career and get underpaid.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: No, hell no, they're already gonna try and underpay me anyway.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing that.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: So these are jobs that really match my credentials, if not the next phase of my career.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, no, if I even hear back.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: So when you are applying, applying, applying, applying, and getting rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, if you even hear back, that's that's working me up.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm getting worried about it.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: People are still asking, how's the job search going?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know what to tell them because I have not seen anything like this before.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then everybody on LinkedIn has suddenly become Dr.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Fucking Phil and has think pieces on how to navigate the job market, but they're currently unemployed.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Looking for a job, here's what you do.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: But in their little banner, it says looking for work.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, I'm not about to listen to you because you're doing the same thing.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not to mention, you see people who choose to leave their job or were cut after you were cut at different companies and land a job in like a couple weeks, and it's like, how do y'all do it?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I know they got one up on me that we uh already touched on, but comparing timelines that's adding to the spiral because how the hell y'all doing it?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: Who y'all paying?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: What's y'all method?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: Put me on, and as soon as someone knows a method, they make a video about it, and then everybody fucking is on it, and then that method is no longer useful, or you're competing with all these AI tools, and Lord, that's a whole different game.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: They changed the rules and applying that I didn't even know was a thing, and then when you look at all these jobs, jobs could be posted literally for like an hour or like 40 minutes, and it already is clicked, if not applied to, over a hundred times, and that's just on LinkedIn, like it's so demoralizing, and just because you're unemployed don't mean you shouldn't rest, can't rest.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: So you take your rest, you sleep in, but then you got this guilt because it's like, damn, I should be applying, but you done already applied to every job that you can, but you still feel guilty because you have this identity crisis of feeling like your worth means nothing if it's not tied in directly to how much you can produce.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: So then you are like, let me go apply, let me go do something, let me contribute in some way in a productivity level so that I can feel better.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: But that's just driving you further and further crazy.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: So when you take all these things, when you compile the spiral, the stress, the pressure, people asking you how work is going and you don't have a job, or asking you what's next and you don't know, you start to feel like a failure.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: You start to feel like, damn, maybe there's a reason why I'm not working, maybe there's a reason why I'm not getting these calls back, maybe I'm not as good as I thought.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: You really start to look at yourself like I'm not great, I'm not as well polished, as well-deserving as I once thought.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: But of course, that's not true.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the emotional level.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now we move over to the finances because that's the part that hurt a little bit more.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: In 2023 to 2024, for exactly about a year, I worked two full-time jobs at once.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: It took a lot of calendar management, finesse, and focus.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I did it, and when I did it, it put me in a great financial spot.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: I paid off a lot of debt, I was able to save a lot, built up a bit of a pad, um, was able to change my life a bit.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was able to do things for myself and take care of my health, take care of my responsibilities, move, all these things.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then I went back to one job, and then I got this new job, and it was contracting, which meant all gross pay, no, no taxes yet.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I was able to save a bit.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: So when I got cut, I had a good amount, but I spent a lot of it before that on taking care of my health and my family and all these things before we got laid off.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: So when we got laid off, we were in a good spot, not as good as we were.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: And when you don't have an income, you making pennies from unemployment bullshit, honestly, URSS savings fade fast.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that that is scary.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: You start trying to figure out how to finesse your finances, how to make things stretch, what things can you cut, what things can you change.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Change to make that dollar stretch a bit more, you have to start sacrificing things, you got to start getting creative in your lifestyle because you got to make your money last as long as you can because you're not getting an income, you're not replenishing that money.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a little anxiety-provoking when you don't know when you will be able to get an income, and you don't know if you're gonna make that last.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Who's to say you're gonna get a job by the time you get to zero, by the time you exhaust all your funds?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little scary.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: That mental low that comes with the calculating and budgeting, the cutting back, the humiliation when you have to make lifestyle changes because you don't have the income, that tends to bleed out a little bit.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: I talked about it in the money troubles episode.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Money can really determine your mood, and when that money is going, it's not just gonna stay in a little nice, compact area of your emotions.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna start to take that out in other areas: your sleep, eating, relationships, family, your ability to focus so that you can apply for jobs, everything, everything gets affected.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: So you keep grinding, you keep trying to apply for these jobs, you keep taking these rejections on the chin, you keep moving because not moving ain't a choice, so you keep it up, but that shit can be demoralizing.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you see a job that fits your credentials beautifully, but the pay is shit, and you gotta be in office, and then you click on it, you see hundreds of people have already applied to it.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, I still gotta keep going, so let me plug it in.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: So you apply, you're either not gonna hear shit back, you're gonna get rejected, or you're gonna get an email almost immediately after, within the day, a few hours, saying, Oh, this role's actually been filled, which means they never had any intentions on hiring anybody for it because they already had some someone in mind.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: I used to work in HR and in recruiting.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: I know how this goes.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's happening a lot more.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is a telltale sign that they really ain't trying to look out, they are just bringing you up in the company, which means if you ain't in the club, you ain't getting in.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: That shit sucks because it's like this is a whole new game we dealing with, and nobody told me that the rules changed, and I don't know how to navigate it on top of being black.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm already starting 10 points down.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: What am I supposed to do?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: The way it chips away slowly over time at your confidence, you start to believe, like, yo, it must be me.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: It must be me.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, they saw my resume and they didn't think I was good enough.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: It has to be me.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the truth is, they probably didn't even see your resume.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: Truth be told, there's hundreds, if not thousands, of applicants for these one job.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: This one job, 80%, if not more, is using AI.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: Within that, fucking 40% are under or overqualified.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then after that, you have a bunch of people who are using their network to send messages directly to people at the company to get their resume bumped up so that they don't even get to your resume.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and and the recruiters are using AI tools which are biased as hell, and just sorting through things, certain keywords and attributes that if you don't tailor your resume to make it fit, you're never gonna get seen.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: Who wants to tailor their goddamn resume hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times while you're applying for these jobs for every single role?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: RJ ain't got it in him.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I don't, you're gonna get this one resume because if you can't see my skills on this, look, and maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot, but I'm not doing it, bro.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not changing my resume for every application.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: When I started off, I was.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was trying, shit's exhausting, and I said, Look, you gonna take me as I am or have nothing at all, baby.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing it.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Something that actually kind of came up for me in this circumstance of being unemployed is I not everybody, but like there are certain people at work or previous companies that I worked at that I get good with.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: Not on purpose, we just build a bond.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: And when you find yourself not really necessary to them, that phone gets quiet.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody wants to help you in the beginning, and then you don't hear back.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, people got lives, people got responsibilities, people got kids, people got health concerns, like people got shit going on, you know.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't expect you to hold my hand through this process.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: But damn, tap in once in a while.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm tapping in with people I know in the same boat, even before I was in this boat.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, just shaking in.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're going through this.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is there any way I can help?
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or if I see, damn, you still, you know, struggling?
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is there anything I could do?
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone I can get you in touch with?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: But no, it gets quiet.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so you get a sense of who's really gonna be there with you when it gets dark out.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: Get real in that field when that pressure is on.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: Who who's gonna be there for you?
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time, it's just you, or if you're fortunate enough to have a partner who is riding and dying with you, it's just gonna be you.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm fortunate enough that I have that partner, so it's just us because it's quiet everywhere else.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: However, when you come out on the other side, whenever you get the job, or whenever you take the next step into what you decide you want to go through, because I I'm coming to understand not everybody is using this as an opportunity to go back to work.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are diving into their creative endeavors, and I love it.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: I personally have done it, not to say I'm opposed to getting a job, because that's not the case, but in whatever way you come out of this, like the new version of you, that new version of you is more resilient and less willing to settle.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's some things you just ain't going for no more, some things you aren't compromising anymore, and that's gonna change the way you move forward.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: But enough of the bad.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about the good.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: We was talking about the unemployment.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're gonna get into the fun employment because baby, it's some perks to this.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you and say it's all bad.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: There have been some beautiful things that have been birthed out of this unemployment period.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: So many realizations and opportunities of mental clarity, growth, rest that I am so appreciative for, grateful for, and I understand if I was working a full-time job right now, it would not be a thing.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: I would not have had the opportunity to experience these things.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: Exhibit A.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast would not exist if I was employed.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: I put this shit off for seven years because I told myself I was too busy.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: I told myself I didn't have time, told myself it wasn't worth it.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: How would I balance it?
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody would want to listen to it.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't until I had a moment to give myself some room to breathe and think about what it is that I actually want next that I was able to really sit and process the idea of even doing a podcast.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: When I started this, I started this as something that I was gonna do for fun, just to get it out my system.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then it created this whole entire podcast, which is going to create a whole bunch of new opportunities and beautiful things in the future.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: If I was still working, this would still be on that back burner, burning, getting further and further away from actually becoming a thing, because working takes a lot out of you.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: It consumes your whole life.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: You are working five days a week for the bulk of your day.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: You sleep for eight hours, you work for eight hours, and then what you have eight hours of personal time, but like two is before work and a few is after work, like no, and you do that five days a week and you only get two days to yourself.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, a podcast wasn't finna happen.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: So that was something that came from this.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: I would not be in this gym like I've been if I would have started this with a job.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: I would have given myself every excuse in the world that I have already given myself in the past.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I was like, you know what?
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: I need some structure.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: I need to do something with this time.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: I can't just let this time go to waste and not make something of it.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I got in that gym.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: I start working on creative passion projects for myself.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: I start focusing on my health, I start implementing a structure.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I've been unemployed for over a year, but starting a few weeks after I got let go, I wake up before 7 a.m.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: every day.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: I keep that routine.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm staying ready.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: You could call me Kaepernick.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: This man has not stopped working out and being game ready since he got blackballed from the NFL.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: He is ready when that call comes.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what I've been doing for this entire year.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I get a job, I'm not about to spend a month or two adjusting being hella tired because I'm not used to being no, I'm ready.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Put me in, coach.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: I I got it from there.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been holding it down with the structure.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: I've been working on my nutrition, I've been getting in contact with my loved ones, going to spend time with them, getting out in nature.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: All these things that have come from this because I have been allotted time has been life-changing, like in the best way possible.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: I got to rediscover who I was without a job title.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: So long I was focused on elevating my career.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: My focus was how do I stick at this company and move up this ladder.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: You took away the ladder, you took away the company, and I really had to get back to knowing who RJ was.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: And what I found was a lot of great parts, a lot of things that needed work, a lot of things that no longer served me, and it was time to let go of.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Things that I would not have been able to see if I was just still heads down working.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because one thing about me, I'd rather get something done and put myself ahead than spread it out and take a while.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: I used to procrastinate terribly in school, terribly.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: Baby, I'm talking, had a project for some months.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's the night before, and I'm cracking that bitch open for the first time.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was bad.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: So today, as an adult, if I have an opportunity to put myself ahead, I'm gonna do that.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that created a workaholic.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: There have been days where I'm working 7 a.m.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: to 11 p.m.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: at a tech job, not as a manager.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: What the fuck are you doing?
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to remove that so that I could actually hear my inner thoughts, be grounded in my body, understand who I am, and get back in touch with them.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was caught up in being RJ the specialist, RJ the person at this company.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know who RJ was for a while.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: Had a good idea, but I really know who I am now.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm appreciative for that unexpected clarity, growth, prosperity emotionally, spiritually, mentally that I've been able to accomplish by removing this job.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do I wish it paid me to do all these things?
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's not where we are right now.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: But we're getting creative, we're figuring it out.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: But because all these things have been implemented in my life now, I'm not giving them up whenever a job comes.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still in that gym.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still taking care of my body.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still doing this podcast.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: I got the momentum now.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: I understand the importance now.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: But if I would have put the job and then the other things, oh no, I would have, I would have lost it.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: But now I built all these different aspects of my life.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not letting it go when a job comes in because a job will no longer define me, my identity, or my worth.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: So you are joining my life.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: You aren't becoming my life.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's what anything.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast ain't gonna become my life.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like these things are here to help evolve you, to grow you, to expand who you are as a person, not to take you over and become your whole world.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: So if you let it, unemployment is that forced pause that can really like redirect you to something better and something greater that you even knew was possible when you were working.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's scary, I know it's stressful, I know that don't help pay the bills, that sentiment.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: And there are some beautiful things to come from unemployment.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: But hopefully we don't stay unemployed long, or at least not earning an income long.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because I believe, and I preach this to my siblings, like a job ain't the only way you can make money.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: You could get creative and really get paid to do anything these days.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we move forward?
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: How do we go from not earning an income to moving forward towards getting some income?
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: How do we stay the course and not lose ourselves in all of the messiness?
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here's a couple things that I did.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta keep that structure.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta get up, wash your ass, brush your teeth, put on them clothes, do your hair.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta keep it going.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta dress the part, you gotta act the part.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you let it consume you, that's what your life's going to be.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you think your life is this way or that way, either way you look at it, you're right.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: So if you act like your life is terrible, like it won't get better, like you don't deserve more, the universe will comply and it will be terrible, it won't get better.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: So you really gotta dress the part, dress it up, and make it real for me.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like Future said, baby, you gotta pick yourself up, stand up, it's gonna be okay.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: But until we get there in the physical, like the whole universe acts like it, we gotta start here.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: So you gotta keep that structure, not for nobody else, just for you.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you wake up and really don't do much with the day, at least do some things that can ground you at certain times, build in this structure so that it keeps you going.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: As human beings, we need things like that for our brain so that we don't lose our fucking minds.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like we need a sense of structure, it's very helpful for us, it's good for our mental health.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: So that is important.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not gonna sit here and say I didn't have structure the whole time.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, the first three weeks, it was looking rough.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: Your boy was dingy, hair wouldn't cut, was repeating outfits, and by outfits, I mean t-shirts and shorts.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: The showers were spread out.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was spiraling.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: But once I remembered who I was, I said, oh no, we gotta get this together.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: So get that structure together.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to get on that programming.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: You got it, just figure out things you could do throughout your day, even if you change it day to day, but you gotta focus on doing this for you, putting that structure in place, waking up in the morning, going to sleep at night.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because when that call comes, are you gonna be ready?
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_00: And without the structure, even if you don't feel like you should do it for you, without the structure, the days just kind of blur together.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: Time just gets real murky, you don't really have that motivation no more, you start to believe that you're a failure and you don't have any purpose, and that spiral gets deeper, heavier, harder.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, if for no other reason, do it to avoid all that, like keep the structure, it's it's for your benefit, trust me.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: At some point, you gotta separate your worth from your employment status.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: Easier said than done.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you without a job?
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't completely vanish into thin air when you lost a job, which means you a job does not define you, does not make you up, is not your entire life.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: You are still here.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you without a job?
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: Really get to know who that is.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: When I first started out, I didn't know what to do.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: But then I started this uh project journey, it's called the Artist Way, and it helps you get like a sense of creativity and nurturing your inner artist, your inner creative.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and with it, you have to write three pages of free-flowing thought every single morning.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I hated that shit because it's like it's not like you go get breakfast, you chill, lay in bed on your phone.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, when you open your eyes, you go to the bathroom, then you start working on these journal prompts, and it's for 12 weeks.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I there were moments I wanted to quit, but by doing these pages, these morning pages, I was able to tap into things about myself that I had forgotten about.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_00: Things that I used to do when I was younger, interests that I had, goals that I had, dreams that I had.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: I started to start to remember and things start to come to the surface, like, oh, I said I wanted to do that, and I never got around to doing that.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or entertaining doing things that you put off, like a podcast, or maybe I can go to the gym.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I do have enough energy to dedicate myself to a workout regimen.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: But you gotta separate yourself from how much you can bring in for another person or an entity so that you can understand who you are at the end of the day.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know if you need to journal, find a support group, do what you gotta do to really start to deconstruct that and get to the root of that sense of identity, who you are.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because unemployed is not an identity, it's an adjective, it describes where you are currently, it's not your whole being.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_00: And look, I know, do what you gotta do to take care of yourself, take care of your responsibilities, keep a roof over your head, keep yourself fed.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying don't go out there and like apply for jobs, but if you have it in you, I would say be more selective with your applications and apply to places you actually want to be.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because the universe has a crazy way of working, and you might land a job somewhere you really don't want to be, somewhere that you apply for because it's like I need a job, and they working you to the bone and paying you pennies.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: Is that really what you want?
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: You deserve more than that, so don't even put yourself in that space to potentially wind up there.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've had people reach out to me, recruiters, over this last year, like, oh, your your profile, your resume just matches so well.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_00: You've done all this experience, but you have to do what I understand is two, if not three, jobs, and we're gonna pay you half of what you used to make.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: How's that sound?
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and we're not giving you benefits.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: And you have to come into the office 60 miles away.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_00: Boy, if you don't get the fuck out my face, are you crazy?
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, it's not worth it.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I almost took the bait a few times because I got desperate.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: But like, that's why it's important to understand who you are and your sense of self without a job so that you don't even let people play in your face like that.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, no thanks.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm overqualified for this, and that's outside of my balance, uh, my salary expectations.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you get to stand on shit a little more firm when you are firm and confident in who you are.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: So don't settle for no bogus ass jobs.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: Unless you're cool at working them, then go for it.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_00: But like if you know this is a downgrade, why are we even entertaining it, bro?
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sis.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all, we no, we're not doing that.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_00: So only go for the jobs you want because you deserve them.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: Shit, go for the ones you might not even be qualified for in your mind.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because you never know who's gonna see it and who can see the potential in your skills, and it'll give you a chance.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: I done preached it about 50-11 times at this point over all these episodes since I dropped it.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: But rest.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: I used to feel guilty for rest and sleeping in, taking days to not do nothing, not applying on certain days or going to the gym or cleaning the house or like not being productive.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: I used to feel guilty.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: I used to feel like I have to do something.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm unemployed.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: If I do nothing, I'm just really a bum.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, no.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_00: You still deserve to rest.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_00: You just went through years of working over and over for weeks, days, months at a time.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, give yourself the opportunity to rest and not worry about getting up.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I'm not saying take this whole period to just rest.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's implement rest when it's needed.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's still good to have structure, but you need to start listening to your body.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, let me take a break.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_00: Let me not do anything today because I'm getting burnt out and I'm not thinking clearly, and I'm just moving out of this scarcity mindset.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let me take a pause, let me take the day to do nothing because I'm feeling depleted, I'm feeling defeated.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: I just need a moment to get back to myself.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_00: You still are worthy of that rest.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't let the society fool you with that.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: So rest without guilt, partner.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_00: And keep in mind, this is just a chapter of your life.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the full story.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is not going to last forever.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is not going to define who you are.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: This is not going to break you.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna come out of this better, healthier, more resilient, and ready to take on the next chapter.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_00: But this is a chapter, and you get to write it however you want.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_00: You get to decide what you make of this moment before you get to the next one.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_00: So write that shit.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: Make it worth something.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: Don't squander this time, don't sit here, woe is mean the whole time.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: Take your moment to process, take your moment to spiral, but then we pick ourselves up, we put on them clothes, we dress the part, and we fake it till we make it because we're going to make it.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to get better, better.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: Whether that be at another company, whether you decide to pursue creative passions, which eventually turn into income, or you go a whole different direction.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever that next chapter is for you, get ready for it now.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_00: Don't wait for it to land in your lap.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: Use this time to make something of yourself so that you are ready when that call comes.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever that call is, because it's coming.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: So keep your head up, keep going, and just remember it's gonna get better.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_00: You already know it's time for I Say This With Love.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, if you would like to have your submission read during this segment, you would visit the tiny URL link and I will read it here on one of these episodes.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if you ain't got a job right now, write in.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to talk through this a bit more or just catch up on some of y'all tea because it's a lot going on out there.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: The other day, I got a text from my homegirl.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_00: I opened it, and it was screenshots of a past conversation we were having the day before about me and this dude I'm currently talking to.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was confused at first, but then I saw the message after the screenshots, and it said, I'm so sick of hearing about this shit.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_00: He's just he's just gonna play you like the last few did dummy.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, obviously, she didn't mean to send this to me, but I caught her talking shit about me, and no, she couldn't delete the text fast enough because I already saw what I saw.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you were me, how would you handle this?
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_00: I went bad on her already, cussed her, smoothed the fuck out, and blocked her, but would just like to know what would RJ do?
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_00: I say this with love, baby.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: You already did it.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_00: You already handled it exactly how I would, because she has you bent.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I've only done this one time in my life, and I wasn't talking shit.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was having an exchange with my coach about playing time and expectations, and it was a complicated situation, but like it wasn't just me like in trouble, you know?
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I screenshot all the messages and was going to send them to my mom to update her.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I sent them right back to my coach, and she was like, What is this?
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, my bad, I meant to send that to my mom.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I girl, like, what you finna do?
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_00: But this is different.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is different.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_00: She was being messy, and who knows how long this has been going on.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_00: Who knows how much she was trying to talk shit about you in the past, and who was she sending this to?
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_00: Cause they're just as guilty.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_00: So she already blocked, so it's another snake in your camp somewhere.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_00: Cause she she sending it to someone, you know, because they gotta know to have the context about you to even have input about what you're saying.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to find out who that is.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, RJ would do exactly what you did block her, cuss her out.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking about me in my past life when I was a slight crash out.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, no, I think that's as far as I would have gone.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't have done nothing extreme.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_00: Even me today, I don't know if I'd cuss her out today.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I would just have an interesting way of letting her know about herself that would make her feel real dumb and I wouldn't cuss to make her feel even dumber, then I block her.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_00: But essentially, I'm doing what you did.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: So bravo, babe.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: She had you messed up, and I'm glad you handled it accordingly.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, y'all.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's it for today's episode.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_00: As a reminder, make sure y'all are following us on social media.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_00: You hit the email for all inquiries, feedbacks, questions, you visit the tiny URL link for I Say This With Love Submissions, and make sure y'all are following the Patreon because there's some good shit on there, I'm telling you.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are unemployed, keep grinding away, babe.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be alright, it's gonna get better.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_00: That job is coming.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_00: Keep telling yourself that you deserve better, that something is on its way to you, and so it will be.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_00: But don't give up hope.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let these companies drive you crazy or lack thereof companies drive you crazy.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_00: You worth more than that.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: You worth more than any company could ever pay you.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: So don't let them get you off your off your your game.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_00: That mm-mm.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_00: But keep your head up.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get through this.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_00: But exciting news coming within the next few weeks.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_00: I touched on it a bit last episode.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you caught it, then you know what I'm talking about.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_00: And if not, you'll see in a few weeks.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I appreciate y'all for joining me.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, I'm RJ.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Alive I Guess podcast, and I'll see y'all same time next week.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm alive.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm alive I guess.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm alive, I guess.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a live I guess.