Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How a Career Feedback Net Replaces Performance Reviews
Transcript
- Lucas: You know that sinking feeling when performance review season rolls around and you realize the feedback you're about to get is either a generic pat on the back or a vague criticism that doesn't actually help you improve? Luna: Oh, absolutely. I once got 'needs to be more strategic' with zero examples. I spent the next six months trying to decode what that meant. Lucas: Exactly. And there's data behind why these reviews often fail. A 2023 Gallup study found that only 14 percent of employees strongly agree that their performance reviews inspire them to improve. That's a staggering indictment of a process that most companies still run annually. Luna: So what's the alternative? Because I don't think the answer is just 'give feedback more often' — that can be just as unhelpful if it's done poorly. Lucas: Right. More volume doesn't equal better signal. What I want to talk about today is what I call a 'Career Feedback Net' — it's a deliberate, structured system where you proactively gather input from a rotating set of people whose opinions you trust, on a regular cadence, and you control the process. Luna: So it's not top-down. You're the one pulling the data in. I like that already. Lucas: Exactly. The net replaces the passive, once-a-year event with an active, ongoing practice. The key is designing the net carefully. First, you want six to eight people. Not more — you don't want to manage a feedback factory. And you want diversity: at least one peer, one direct report if you have them, one manager, and one person from a different function who sees you in meetings or cross-functional projects. Luna: Why a cross-functional person? That seems like a wildcard. Lucas: Because they see you in situations where you don't have positional authority. You're just another voice in the room. That's where a lot of career growth happens — learning to influence without authority. A peer from another team can give you insight your day-to-day colleagues might miss. Luna: That makes sense. So you've got your panel. Then what? Do you just ask them 'how am I doing?' Lucas: You can, but you'll get vague answers. The trick is asking specific, structured questions. I recommend a simple template with three prompts. First: 'What is one thing I should stop doing because it's not adding value?' Second: 'What is one thing I should start doing that would increase my impact?' Third: 'Is there a specific situation recently where I could have handled something better?' Luna: Those are really pointed. The 'stop' question especially — that forces honesty. Lucas: It does. And you ask people to give a concrete example. If they say 'you need to communicate more clearly,' you push for 'when did I not communicate clearly and what was the outcome?' The net only works if the feedback is specific enough to act on. Luna: How often do you run this? Quarterly seems like a lot to ask of people. Lucas: I recommend quarterly, but with a rotation. You don't ask every person every time. I use a rolling schedule — two or three people per quarter, so over a year each person is consulted once or twice. That keeps the burden low and the data fresh. Luna: Okay, so the logistics work. But there's a psychological barrier here. Most people are terrified of hearing negative feedback. How do you handle that? Lucas: It's the hardest part. The reflex is to defend or explain. I've trained myself to just say 'thank you, I appreciate you telling me that' — and then I sit with it for a few days before deciding what to do. The net is not a debate; it's a data collection tool. You can always discard data that doesn't resonate, but you should never push back in the moment. Luna: That's disciplined. I think most people would immediately explain why the feedback is wrong. Lucas: Which is exactly why the net works better if you set expectations upfront. Tell your panel: 'I'm not going to respond or justify. I'm just listening. Your candor helps me grow.' That signals safety, and over time people will be more honest. Luna: I want to push on something. Isn't there a risk of getting feedback that's just wrong? Like someone's bias or a misunderstanding? Lucas: Absolutely. That's why you need the net, not a single source. If one person says you're too direct, but five others say you're a great communicator, you can probably deprioritize that. Pattern recognition is the goal — look for themes across people and over time. Luna: So the net gives you a kind of triangulation. That's smart. Lucas: Exactly. And I keep a simple log — just a spreadsheet with columns for date, source, the three answers, and any action I took. After a year, I have a rich dataset that tells me not just what I need to work on, but also what I've improved on. That's hugely motivating. Luna: I can see how that would be powerful for annual review conversations too. You walk in with your own data. Lucas: Right. Instead of being a passive recipient, you're an active participant. You can say, 'based on feedback from my cross-functional partners, I've been working on clearer meeting follow-ups — here's what I changed and the impact.' That's a much stronger position. Luna: Let's talk about the template again. I like the three questions, but do you ever customize them based on your goals? Lucas: Absolutely. If I'm working on a specific skill — say, public speaking — I might add a fourth question: 'Have you seen me present recently? What could I do to make my presentations more engaging?' The net should evolve with your development priorities. Luna: That makes it feel less like a rigid system and more like a living tool. Lucas: That's the idea. And the net doesn't have to be formal. One of my favorite sources is a 'third chair' — someone who's a step removed from your daily work. For example, a former boss or a mentor in another department. They see your trajectory without being caught up in office politics. Luna: I like that. It's like getting a weather report from outside the storm. Lucas: Exactly. Now, one thing I want to emphasize: the net only works if you actually act on the feedback. Otherwise, people will stop giving it. So after each round, I pick one or two actions and commit to them publicly with my net. That closes the loop. Luna: Publicly? That takes courage. Lucas: It does, but it also reinforces accountability. I might say to my panel, 'Based on your input, I'm going to start sending a brief recap after every meeting to ensure alignment.' Then next quarter, I ask them if they've noticed the change. That feedback on the feedback is gold. Luna: This is a really practical system. But I wonder — for someone early in their career, does it scale? Do junior folks have the standing to ask senior people for this? Lucas: Great question. For junior folks, I'd start with peers and maybe a sympathetic manager. You don't need the CEO. And interestingly, many senior people are flattered to be asked for guidance. Frame it as 'I really respect your perspective and would love your input on how I can grow.' That's hard to refuse. Luna: Okay, that reframes it as an honor for them, not a burden. I like that. Lucas: Exactly. And if someone says no, that's fine. Move on. The net should be voluntary on both sides. The best feedback comes from people who genuinely want to help, not those who feel obligated. Luna: This whole approach feels like a career insurance policy. You're building a feedback loop that makes you more adaptable. Lucas: That's a great way to put it. And it's especially valuable in a fast-changing job market where your annual review might not even reflect the role you're actually doing halfway through the year. The net keeps you aligned with reality. Luna: I'm going to try this. I think I'll start with three people: a peer, a former manager, and a cross-functional colleague. That feels manageable. Lucas: Perfect. And you'll be surprised how quickly it becomes a habit. After a couple of cycles, you'll wonder how you managed without it. Luna: By the way, if you're finding these career tools useful — and it sounds like a few of you are, because we hear from you — there's a way to help us keep making them. A handful of listeners already chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that literally funds this many episodes. No ads, no sponsors, just listener support. Lucas: Yeah, it's a small way to keep the show independent and focused on what actually helps. We're grateful for every contribution, big or small. Luna: And we're back to the net. One final thought: the net isn't just for fixing weaknesses. It's also for discovering strengths you didn't know you had. Lucas: That's a crucial point. Often people will say 'you're really good at X' and you think 'really? I never considered that a skill.' That can shape your career direction. So the net reveals both the rough edges and the hidden assets. Luna: So if you build the net now, you're not just surviving your next review — you're building a career that's more resilient and more intentional. Lucas: Exactly. And next episode, I want to talk about how to use that net to make a case for a promotion or a stretch assignment. Because once you have the data, you can tell a much stronger story. Luna: Looking forward to it. Until then, start building that net.