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Unlocking Happiness: Michelle Phillips on Making Joy a Habit · Unstoppable Success Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Unstoppable Success Podcast, where we spotlight visionary leaders who have mastered the art of growth, purpose, and powerful connections.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Jacqueline Strauminger, connector, high performance coach, and creator of the Leap to Your Success Framework in Two Steps to Yes.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: Each week we dive into bold insights, real conversations, and powerful strategies to fuel your growth, deepen your relationships, and ignite transformational momentum.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: And why?
0:30
SPEAKER_01: Because you were meant to be unstoppable.
0:33
SPEAKER_01: Now let's leap into the podcast.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: Well, hello everybody, and welcome to another amazing episode of Leap to Lead, elevating connections, courage, and creating greater impact.
0:50
SPEAKER_01: I am your host, Jacqueline Strawinger, and today I have the amazing guest to share with you, Michelle Phillips.
0:56
SPEAKER_01: And let me tell share with you a little bit about her background.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: So, first of all, Michelle is the president of Key Performance.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: She has a 25-year entrepreneurial voyage that has etched an enduring mark on the corporate world.
1:12
SPEAKER_01: I can speak today.
1:14
SPEAKER_01: She has an amazing book called Happiness is a Habit: simple daily rituals that increase energy, improve well-being, and add joy to every day, which is so important.
1:26
SPEAKER_01: And as a happiness and performance expert, she blends neuroscience, habits, and positive psychology, offering an actionable formula for success.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: Michelle, I am so glad to have you on the podcast.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: So welcome.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: Hello, I'm happy to be here.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: Hello, thank you for having me, Jacqueline.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: All right, so I have to ask because happiness is is is a key, it's a choice in a lot of ways.
1:55
SPEAKER_01: Right?
1:56
SPEAKER_01: So what got you to write this book?
2:00
unknown: Yeah.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: Of course, write the what's the carpenter song?
2:03
SPEAKER_00: The best love songs are written with a broken heart.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm dating myself, but I love that line.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: That's even before my time, that song.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: I love the carpenters, but um listeners that are like if you don't know, I'm just gonna share.
2:16
SPEAKER_01: I will put a link in there because they are like an old organic.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: I think that I mean I was a kid, but I remember that line.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: The best love songs are written with a broken heart.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: Right.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: So it's like when you're in that point when you realize what got you through this point.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: So in my early uh life, in my 20s, I just wanted to be fit and sexy and healthy.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: So I learned how to work out, how to eat right.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: So I was on this trajectory of habits.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I was learning how to manage my finances, relationships, all these different things, career.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: And then I was happily married until I wasn't.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: And when, you know, I chose to leave the marriage, um, which wasn't a horrible marriage, it just I wasn't satisfied anymore.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: We were just growing in different directions.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: I realized the things that kept me sane in my most broken-hearted time were my habits.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: I always went to the gym.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: I always ate good food.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: I had a really strong circle of support with family and friends.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: I had amazing playlists on my iPod.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: I read books that inspired, motivated, and educated me.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: And then I was, I went, I even went to another seminar where they were saying all the things I was doing.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I'm writing my own book, right?
3:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, this is the recipe I've been using to keep me solid, even though I'm sad.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it could be a recipe other people can use.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: So it's 44 habits.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: They're my habits, but I say you pick and choose which ones resonate with you, and then you try them on and you be the judge.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: Uh, I absolutely love that.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: And okay, so we have kindered spirits here because I because what you've just said, you know, that those habits, you know, exercise, eating well, reading.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: Although I will say I will add to that, like sometimes I will binge watch, like, you know, um law type shows like CSI, because I don't know like why.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: But they're addicting.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Because they're addicting.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: Like, stop.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: Um it's like my, I guess, you know, my bad habit, whatever, uh, my vice.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: But but it's so true.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: Like, we talk a lot about those habits, like getting up in the morning, you know, doing something that gets your heart going.
4:34
SPEAKER_01: It's so important.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: It it actually releases those endorphins and it puts a smile on your face and it keeps you going.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: And the studies have shown that if you engage in something mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional a few times a week, you you actually feel better.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: So the premise of the book was if you pick one little thing, one like eat an apple for 90 days, then eat, um, then walk around the block.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: What happens is if you just pick one small habit that's easy, that you can't fail at, in five years, you will have accumulated 20 powerful habits.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: And habits are the things you do without thinking.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: Right.
5:13
SPEAKER_01: So it's something that you just said too, that's also really important that I that I want I want people to understand that is really like a quintessential thing.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Pick something, like start small, like and do it, do a little bit.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's like you you can't decide today that you're gonna go run the marathon next week.
5:37
SPEAKER_01: You have to start small to build up and do something that you can do.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: Like that's why we fail, because people they hold themselves to unrealistic standards.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to meditate every single day.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, you probably aren't.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Or I'm gonna run around the block, or I'm never going to eat chocolate.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: It's like, give yourself a break.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, if the more of the time you're consistently doing, working out, eating, and you have an ice cream every, you know, your life isn't gonna shatter, but you're on the right trajectory versus people try on January 1st to just, you know, cold turkey or whatever, and that's why they fail.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: Right.
6:13
SPEAKER_01: So how do you work with your with clients and what do you, you know, what do you, you know, because you know, we want to help people take that leap, you know.
6:22
SPEAKER_01: So what is the biggest, you know, pick one, but how do you get them to pick?
6:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, good, good, really good question, Jacqueline.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: So I have a survey, I have a questionnaire that I give all my clients.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: It's pretty long, but it's just like me, I call it me incorporated.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: It's all the story of your life.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: You know, who are you, what's working, what's not working, what do you want more of, what do you want less of?
6:44
SPEAKER_00: You know, so I just there's all these questions.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: And what the beauty of the questions, I tell them, I want you to not, I want you to use paper to pen, pen to paper.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: Pen to paper, yeah.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: I want you to sit down with your favorite beverage of choice away from your computer, your desk, and I want you to answer these in long hand because I want you to slow down.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: And what bubbles up are themes.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: So throughout the course of three or four pages of writing, the theme might be, you know, added confidence or decisiveness or, you know, speaking my truth, whatever it is, or it could be I just need to move my body or learn French.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've got everything.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: So from that, we pick two to three goals to work with in our coaching relationship that we're going to, and then like you, I've been doing this so many years.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm like a wealth of information.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: I just once I know what you need, I'm like Edward Scissorhands, I've got a I've got an exercise, I've got a book, I've got a TED Talk.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, they they have exercises they do and work, um, work on while we're working together.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, when you're thinking about people being happy, you know, are there like are there signs almost that you could say to somebody, like, you know, you can talk to somebody and be like, hmm, maybe they could use a little bit more happiness, or there might be well it's not that it's stamped on their forehead, right?
8:11
SPEAKER_00: But I like to sit in I'm in airports a lot, as I know you are.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: And I sit in the airport sometimes and I just look around at people, and you could just look at people and know who's having a good day and who's not, or who's having a good day.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: People we wear, you know, we wear our energy on our face.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: And in a recent airport episode, I was watching these two little children from across this, you know, the carpet, just having the best time with each other.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: And I'm thinking they're the having the most fun of everybody in this whole airport because we take ourselves so seriously, and I think we become such an achievement-oriented culture.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, how many likes do you have?
8:47
SPEAKER_00: And did you post today?
8:47
SPEAKER_00: And did you, you know, I get caught up in it?
8:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my gosh, am I happy?
8:51
SPEAKER_00: Am I breathing?
8:52
SPEAKER_00: Did I put my feet in the grass?
8:55
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, for me, I'm a believer that people should come to me.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: I don't go to you.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: So even if a CEO or a leader of a team says, Michelle, I want you to work with Dave.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, does Dave want to work with me?
9:08
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, that's the chemistry fit call.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: Right.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I talk about how I work.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: And if Dave's up for this, you know, we're I'm ready to go.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: Um, but really, I want people, I always say I'm looking for the believers.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: If you don't believe in this, if you don't think working out or reading or is gonna, then I'll move on to somebody else.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
9:27
SPEAKER_01: It's you know, it's you know, what you just said is so true.
9:30
SPEAKER_01: We wear our energy on our faces on our, you know, and and it would just made me think about you know how many people don't walk around smiling.
9:39
unknown: Yeah.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: I've been told I smile too much because seen as weakness, or I don't know what it's seen as, but I'm like, I don't know.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: What's wrong with smiling?
9:48
SPEAKER_01: I try to try to make sure that we're smiling more often because then you find that you're more like you're more open.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: Right?
9:56
SPEAKER_01: So, so when you're talking to people, I mean, this is like this, I mean to me, this is such a huge thing because the impact it has on somebody's life is huge.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it has such a huge impact.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: So what are some of those key things that like if somebody's thinking like maybe asking them the question, like, am I happy?
10:23
SPEAKER_01: Like, like when do I know that I might need to change something?
10:31
SPEAKER_01: Because maybe I'm not really happy.
10:33
SPEAKER_01: Like, what are the signs?
10:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's two things.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: I just ask people to really pay attention to the when are you laughing?
10:40
SPEAKER_00: When are you smiling?
10:41
SPEAKER_00: You know, really start to notice what you're doing in those moments.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: Again, we're such a achievement rushing culture in the West, you know, like oh, I got 15 minutes to meditate, and then I'm going to yoga, and you know, and I'm like, we're kind of missing the point.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I asked my clients, I want you to ask yourself two questions repeatedly during the day.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: I want you to take a stop.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: How am I feeling?
11:09
SPEAKER_00: The shamans have a saying, if you can name it, you can tame it.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: So what am I feeling?
11:14
SPEAKER_00: Because we don't even check in with how I'm feeling.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: Am I feeling anxious?
11:17
SPEAKER_00: Am I feeling overwhelmed?
11:18
SPEAKER_00: Am I feeling content?
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Am I feeling sad?
11:21
SPEAKER_00: And then am I happy with my results?
11:24
SPEAKER_00: And if you're if the answer to one of those questions doesn't satisfy you, then you need to do something different.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: And it really is about the now moment.
11:33
SPEAKER_00: It's not about the past moment or the future moment.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I think happiness definitely gets a bad rap.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, I love how Esther Hicks says, you know, nobody's asking you to put a smiley sticker on your empty gas tank and keep driving.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: It's not just ignore it and smile.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: It's what's causing me this angst, this overwhelm.
11:53
SPEAKER_00: And if you can identify it, then that's what I like to teach my clients.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: If I'm feeling overwhelmed, either I've said yes to too many things, I'm trying to do overwhelm is a choice, I always tell people, because I can only do so much at once, and I'm trying to do too much.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm just I'm saying I'm gonna do more than I actually can.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: So again, it's really starting to name your emotion, then name the emotion you want, which is writing your outcome.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: I want to feel calm and confident.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: I want to feel calm, confident in control, and then saying, okay, well, if I want to feel calm, confident in control, what's my next action?
12:32
SPEAKER_00: My next action is I have to cancel an appointment, change an appointment, make some white space on my calendar, you know, something that gives you the I feel like we went off on a tangent, but so happiness is, you know, how you're feeling.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Right.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: People don't even check in there.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: And and that's you know, I think that's a and listeners, I think this is actually just a thing that I two things that you just said are so important.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: Number one, put white space on your calendar.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: But but but or let's make it not white space.
13:01
SPEAKER_01: Let's like pick a color code that you can use that you know when you see that color code on your calendar, it means like walk away.
13:09
SPEAKER_01: It means get up and walk.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: It means, you know, take a little like happy dance or something, right?
13:15
SPEAKER_01: You know, right?
13:16
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, like move, right?
13:19
SPEAKER_01: And like get up.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we all can, I mean, you know, you know, myself included, like there are times when you're just like, oh my God, I haven't gotten up off my chair.
13:28
SPEAKER_01: You know, my butt's got to be really flat right now, right?
13:32
SPEAKER_01: Because it's, you know.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I say go outside, breathe.
13:37
SPEAKER_00: We overschedule ourselves.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: We're ridiculously overscheduled.
13:40
SPEAKER_01: And the other key thing is to say no, right?
13:43
SPEAKER_01: And so, how do you get your clients to say no?
13:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: So years and years ago when I started this work, we were still using, I was using my Franklin Covey paper calendar.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: And I used to go to the month at a glance page and I would take a yellow highlighter and I would write no over the whole month to remind myself that I have the option to say no.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: And with my clients, I do this, I do, you know, I say to put it on their phone.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: Put you have to write the word no.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: So no is a full sentence someplace.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: And do not respond to requests immediately.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: Walk away, let me get back to you.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: I mean, nobody calls each other, usually it's an email or something, a text.
14:27
SPEAKER_00: So it's looking at your calendar and really being honest with your space.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: Does this yes, I want to do it, but does it fit into what I have right now?
14:36
SPEAKER_00: And I think that is such a key thing because I look at people's calendars and I say, when do you have time to do your work?
14:43
SPEAKER_00: You're in a meeting.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: You're in meetings, like sometimes they say someone told me the other day I scheduled three meetings at 11.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, unless you um have some magic pill I don't know about, why did you do that to yourself?
14:56
SPEAKER_00: So it's really, I think a lot of this craziness and chaos is we create ourselves by not being able to say no.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: Right.
15:04
SPEAKER_01: Don't right.
15:05
SPEAKER_01: And and you know, in that same vein, like what I what I love about being able to say no is are you, you know, being able to look at what you have and what you want, and does it align with where you want to go?
15:24
SPEAKER_01: Right.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: Really important, especially when I, you know, you you hit on something really with me.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, the clearer you are, you know, the clearer you are your vision and goals and you know what you stand for, your intentions, the more you're capable of saying no to things that take you off course.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: That's really powerful.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, you might be good at a lot of things, but are they in track with where you want to be going?
15:45
SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: And you know, and and so, you know, I I love this whole conversation because it and and I'll share this like right now, and this actually literally happened yesterday.
15:58
SPEAKER_01: Um, we have some backyard stuff going on.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: I was gone for three weeks on a vacation, right?
16:06
SPEAKER_01: And while I was away, that's fabulous.
16:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was it was totally great.
16:10
SPEAKER_01: I highly recommend people go away for three weeks because the first week you're still like trying to struggle, like to you know, break down and like decompress, and then the next week you're really on vacation.
16:22
SPEAKER_01: Like the next it's you know, you get to calm down anyway.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: Really great.
16:26
SPEAKER_01: Um but what was really interesting is that I, you know, I had I had uh connected people together to work on the outside of the project while I was gone because I didn't want me to me be away to hold it up, right?
16:37
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, didn't work.
16:38
SPEAKER_01: And so it came to a point, like literally yesterday came to a head.
16:42
SPEAKER_01: I literally was trying to schedule all this stuff that was supposed to have already been done by the people that were doing the work.
16:51
SPEAKER_01: And I literally said to one of the people who was actually calling the most angst, I said, I'm done.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: Uh I said, I went away.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: I said, This is all supposed to be coordinated.
17:05
SPEAKER_01: It is not my job.
17:06
SPEAKER_01: I this is not my job to coordinate this stuff.
17:12
SPEAKER_01: And the person whose job it is has tried to connect with you to coordinate, and you have been non-existent.
17:20
SPEAKER_01: And so I'm putting everything on hold.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm putting like I just can't do this.
17:24
SPEAKER_01: Take a breath, take a breath.
17:26
SPEAKER_01: Like literally took a pause.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: And it was amazing, you know, what you're saying, like like that energy, and and I'm sharing this because once I said that though, you realize like I'm just saying no, like and and that no was like I can find somebody else who can do it.
17:44
SPEAKER_01: There's there's other there are other people out there that can do that work, I found somebody, I've said no to him, and the calmness like that you feel when you're talking, yeah, like the angst that I was sharing, and the thing is that I'm I'm even though this is a and this is a personal thing, but it was creeping into my business.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: Like I literally sat there and I thought this is this is causing me not to get work done, this is causing me not to do the things that I need to do.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: So I love that you are working with your clients on this because it is so important because sometimes the and we don't realize that angst that is happening, and you can't even think straight.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: So I always say, Well, you know, for me, the other thing, I always say when I'm in an overwhelm, I'm not connected to what I call my Einstein brain, right?
18:38
SPEAKER_00: So I know I'm not making my best decisions, I'm not being my most creative.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: So every time I'm like, Michelle, you're out of alignment.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: You need to take that pause, come back.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: Because and again, and I work with a lot of really high-profile people, and I know you do, that are just go, go, go, and it's like morning till night, and then entertaining at night, and then the next day.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: And it's like there's no time for that creative brain space, that being.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I really I have some, I work with some really pretty cool leaders also that know that, and that them modeling this for their people is so important that it does affect because our personal and professional lives are connected.
19:19
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: And it's, you know, are you in that, you know, I call it like your course, like when you're on two feet, you're steady and strong.
19:26
SPEAKER_00: But if you're standing on one leg, you're off balance.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: Most people are living their life off.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: I always say they're living on the rumble strips on the like.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: Those rumble strips are there to say, you're going off course, like get back to the center.
19:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, and but we we just think it's normal to be crazy and back-to-back meetings and not breathe.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: And it's such a cultural thing.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: Recently, I was at a client and um, I think I booked my flight for um the next morning at like noon because I didn't feel like getting up at the crack of dawn or running to the airport.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: And the night before, and they said to me, Do you want to ride to the airport in the morning?
20:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh no, no.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: I I realized I was a little embarrassed to say I was gonna take a leisurely morning.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, hmm, I do this for a living.
20:10
SPEAKER_00: I tell them, but that this stigma about like, oh, I'm gonna sit in bed and have coffee and then go work out and you know, get, you know, so it's just so interesting that I catch myself, you know, taking my, you know, sometimes I have to take my own advice.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's what we have to do.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: But what you just said too, I think is so again, listeners, this is like a quintessenti quintessential thing, modeling.
20:30
SPEAKER_01: The bot the behavior that you model, right, is is your your people, your peers, the people that you surround yourself, you know, it's what's it's what it what takes to being a good leader, not just leading, and you have to lead yourself first, yes, and then lead others and not tell lead for difference, right?
20:53
SPEAKER_01: And when people can model, that's huge.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: And that's a big thing.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: It's um, you know, I I so many people want to lead other people before they lead themselves.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I I like to do checkups with people, you know, what is your mental, you know, the way you think is a habit, your mental, spiritual, emotional, physical health.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, are you physically fit?
21:15
SPEAKER_00: Are you gonna survive your own success?
21:17
SPEAKER_00: You know, are you mentally fit?
21:19
SPEAKER_00: Are you telling yourself your like all the leadership stuff you talk about, you know, spiritually, do you have a connection to something greater than you?
21:26
SPEAKER_00: And emotionally, do you have those people around you?
21:30
SPEAKER_00: And again, earlier in my life, I think I was unconsciously happy.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: And then as I started to learn this, these things, I started looking like, well, where is my spiritual connection?
21:41
SPEAKER_00: And when it came to people, I looked at the people I surrounded myself with.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: They were some really good heart, sincere working, you know, hardworking people, but they weren't very positive, some of them.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: And they weren't really going where I wanted to go.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: So I said, okay, Michelle, I need to make, I made I wrote a goal that I wanted to surround.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Myself with people that were doing something, growing, expanding.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: And I literally started meeting people that were three cube rows away from me at the company I'd been at for 15 years, but I wasn't looking for them.
22:13
SPEAKER_00: So to anyone listening, it's you look at your spiritual life, your mental thinking life, your emotional life, who are the people around you, and your physical life, and then say, Can I make a tweak?
22:23
SPEAKER_00: Can I make a change?
22:24
SPEAKER_00: Where, you know, where can I do something small, doesn't have to be huge to get you a result.
22:30
SPEAKER_01: Right.
22:30
SPEAKER_01: And and and that that is so important.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: And what you just said too about surrounding yourself with people who are in, you know, number one, positive growth-minded.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, where are you?
22:44
SPEAKER_01: And and if and and this is really important.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: Like, and I would share this.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: Like, if anybody, you know, as people are even just starting out in their careers, one thing that I think is the biggest thing to think about is making sure that you're also interviewing the people that you are going to be working for based on how like look at them, or like, are you aligned with them and ask the questions of well, talk to me about some of the other people that you have been in your fold and where have they gone?
23:15
SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
23:15
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, years ago I had a boss, it was so funny because I've always had this balancing in my life.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, I love working, but I want I want balance.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: I want to have a life outside of work.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: And I had this one boss, and he hired me, and he was a workaholic guy.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: He worked so hard.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: And I said to him, and as a young person, like so to your point, having the courage, I said to him, I love this job.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: I would love to work with you, but I do not want to work the same hours you work.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: I am okay staying late once in a while.
23:44
SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know, we don't have to stay late every night.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: This guy was there till nine o'clock every night.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: Like I would leave him at six.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: He'd come in in the morning with this pages of notes.
23:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, when did you do that?
23:54
SPEAKER_00: I just I left you at like seven or you know, six o'clock last night.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: And even his wife, they had a thing on Saturdays.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: His he only could stay in the office on Saturdays till noon.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: So he was just a real workaholic guy, and I love him dearly.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: But I had the courage to say that to him.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: And he said to me, Okay, Michelle, I will, you know, honor your you know, boundaries and let you, you know, go home unless it's an emergency.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: But you you can help me take more time off and be, you know, less of a work, you know, working so hard.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: And I worked for this man for many years and I laugh.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: I always think he probably got more out of me than I got.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: But you know, it's having the courage to have those decisions, those decisions, those conversations, even early in your career are very important.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: It's and and also to inter, like as you're interviewing people, I mean as you're interviewing for positions, no matter where you are, and as you're interviewing people for positions within your in your on your team, you know, I look at I look at leaders like help your people rise up and help them find their happiness.
25:02
SPEAKER_01: Because when people have that happiness, you know, they operate together as a family in a sense, and a good family, like not your not the dysfunctional families that we probably come from.
25:16
SPEAKER_01: Um, but like, you know, it you you're so aligned with with the with the goal in mind of what everybody is striving for, and you there's ownership, and so it's like the work hard, play hard, and be together to connect.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's what's missing sometimes in this fast-paced world that we live in is people think they don't have time to connect.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: But I always, you know, I understand we don't have every, you know, I always say, Who are your key stakeholders?
25:45
SPEAKER_00: I want you to write down your five to ten key stakeholders, and then I want you to tell me how much time you spent with them.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: Because just calling someone up or sending them an email when you need something is not a relationship.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: No, so it's really important to build those relationships.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: And again, early in my career, I was blessed to have a boss who did just that with us.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: You know, she would take us in these offsites to beautiful like Mohawk Mountain House.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you know that.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: I do, I do.
26:09
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: And she would always personalize our gifts at the holidays, and she really um found out which which what was the strength in each of us, and she let us shine in our strength.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: And we're all of us are still really close to this day.
26:26
SPEAKER_00: I mean, 20-something years later, but that's the strength of those relationships that are not always built these days in a Zoom world or uh, you know, telecommuting or whatever we're doing these days.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, so even just like you and I, we're in totally different areas, but you still, this connection is real.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: Right.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: So having that making the time for that is so instrumental, yes.
26:49
SPEAKER_01: And you know, and what you just said about that leader who found out what the strengths are in this digital world, you can still do that.
26:59
SPEAKER_01: Like you can still find ways to find out what people's strengths are and make them feel that appreciation and make sure that they feel that same connection with the people that they're working with.
27:09
SPEAKER_01: There are definitely ways to do that digitally.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: I mean, obviously, it's so much better in person.
27:13
SPEAKER_01: So many things are better in person, but uh that is such a great experience to have.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: And to I have a client that does it really well.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: I talk about them all the time.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: Here I go, I'm gonna talk about you again.
27:26
SPEAKER_00: They have ping pong tables um, you know, in their in their lunch canteen, whatever you call them.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: They play ping pong every day.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: This woman, I hadn't seen her in a month, and I said to her last time I was there, I said, Wow, you're looking fit.
27:39
SPEAKER_00: And she goes, Oh, I play ping pong every day.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh my god, I think it is a workout, right?
27:43
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then they have tea time.
27:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know if it's once a week or once a month, and it's sometimes it's different nationalities, and it's just tea time, three o'clock.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: I can't remember what time.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: Everybody goes to the canteen and they have tea.
27:56
SPEAKER_00: Uh, so these rituals that seem old, maybe old fashioned, you know, in today's world really build the culture, build the community, build the foundation.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: And I love seeing when companies are doing it right like that.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is so important.
28:11
SPEAKER_01: That is, I love that.
28:12
SPEAKER_01: I absolutely love that.
28:13
SPEAKER_01: Michelle, I could talk to you for hours and hours and hours.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: You're so like you're so amazing and you're so it's like so like just a great conversation.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: Um, how can people uh learn about you, get to know you, get your book?
28:26
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: So the easiest way to get me is and oh my god, I have too many websites.
28:31
SPEAKER_00: Let me think of which one I want to get.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I just went blank.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: Energize, I have so many websites.
28:36
SPEAKER_00: Energize your results.com is the portal to all of my social media, all of my website.
28:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's really just a landing page at energize your results.com.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: We'll link you everywhere to me.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I would love you to follow me.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: I would love you to connect with me, email me.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: Um, and thank you so much, Jacqueline, for having me on.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh my God, it's such a pleasure.
28:55
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so listeners, do me the favor.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: Okay, you got a couple favors that you're gonna have to do for me.
28:59
SPEAKER_01: Number one, reach out to Michelle and actually go to her website and connect with her.
29:04
SPEAKER_01: And then what I also really want you to do, hit subscribe.
29:07
SPEAKER_01: And then lastly, I want you to actually share this episode with friends and colleagues because I think it is so important.
29:13
SPEAKER_01: It's such an important message for friends, colleagues, leaders to hear.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: So I really would appreciate that.
29:19
SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for all of you for listening, and thank you, Michelle, for being an amazing guest.
29:23
SPEAKER_01: I am your host, Jacqueline Strominger.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: And again, again, hit subscribe and um keep on listening.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for joining me on the Unstoppable Success Podcast, where we don't just talk about growth, we leap toward it.
29:39
SPEAKER_01: If something today lit a fire within you, sparked a new idea, or gave you the extra push forward, please don't keep it to yourself.
29:47
SPEAKER_01: Share this episode and podcast with a friend, colleague, or fellow high achiever.
29:52
SPEAKER_01: Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review, and most importantly, connect with me, Jacqueline Schrumpinger, at leaptoyoursuccess.com.
30:03
SPEAKER_01: For coaching, community, and your next bold move.
30:08
SPEAKER_01: Keep leading with intention, keep building your network with purpose, and most of all, keep leaping because you were meant to be unstoppable.