Latest / I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar / Zeke Smith Disobeys Bridger

Transcript

Zeke Smith Disobeys Bridger · I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: And I invited you here. I thought I made myself
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: you're o presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: So how do you dare to surbey me? Welcome to
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: I said, no gifts. I'm Bridgard Winegar. We're here in
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: the studio right up top. We're coming to Chicago May
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: twenty third, the Den Theater May twenty third. Did I
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: already say that Chicago? I've only been to Chicago once.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: You better treat me well. The last time it was
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: not for a live show. This is for a live show,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: so I want to be treated with respect, a little respect.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: I want to have a nice evening with all of you.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Go to the Dentheater dot com, I believe, or google it,
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: or on a LIS's this something we can put in
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: the show notes. Absolutely on Aalasa's on top of it.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: You can look in the show notes. You can probably
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: go to our instagram. There are so many ways you
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: can shop online. So buy your tickets if they're still available,
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Buy a friend a ticket, come to the show. We'll
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: have special guests I'm gonna bring some gifts from you.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Never know what I'm gonna bring to give away because
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: I've got to get rid of some of this stuff.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: And uh, just brace yourselves, brace yourselves for the theater. Ah,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: what else is going on over the weekend? I went
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: to Medieval Times. First experience at Medieval Times. And if
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: you don't think I bought a souvenir glass, You're out
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: of your mind. This one has kind of lights flashing
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: at the bottom. So I've been drinking my coffee out
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: of that every morning, which is going to lead to
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: a migraine, and that's fine. It's also not dishwashers safe
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: because as a battery, so I don't know. It'll probably
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: end up in a cupboard and then ninety years from now,
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: someone ninety years how long am I willing to gonna live?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Someone's gonna find it at an estate sale and they're
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: going to say, this is state sale sucks. Should we go? Anyway,
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: let's get into the podcast. I love today's guest. It's
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Zeke Smith. Zeke, welcome to I said no gifts.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Well, thank you for having me.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy you're here. I had a big weekend
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: over at Medieval Times.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm I'm very jealous because I went to Medieval
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Times once when I was a child in Dallas, tex Okay,
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: and have always wanted to go back. And my husband
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: recently shot a television show for to b It on
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: two B Great in Toronto, Okay. And this was two
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Bey's for a scripted show, and they weren't They just
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: didn't know all the nooks and crannies of like filming
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: something and all the rituals. So there was no plan
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: for a rat party.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Oh sure.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: So I always love to be the party planner, and
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: I lobbied really hard. I was happy to do all
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: the logistic work to have to go to Medieval Times
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: in Toronto.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: That's a great irat party.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And they said no, Yeah, No one listened to me.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: What's happening over at Tube? This is ridiculous. Tooby is
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: out of control. First of all, my apologies to Touby,
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: but come on, hire somebody that knows the basics of
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: running a television show. Yeah.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: I'll refuse to comment more because it's not my place.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: I just my husband.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: But I was just I was very disappointed they did
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: not take me up them.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Wow, that would have been great. Yeah, do you have
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: any memories from your original medieval times experience?
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: I just remember being my mother was very concerned that
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: there was going to be no silverware and they will
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: eat with your hands. Yes, So we went to like
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: a Walmart or whatever and bought like a box of
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: plastic silk, and my mom like brought it in in
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: her purse and then was like concerned they were confiscated.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: Of course it's contraband, yes, and that. And they didn't
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: have diet pepsi. They only had regular pepsi, and you know,
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: we only drank diet.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Of course, patty was a concern. Wow, I have well
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: not to break, but I had a diet pepsi during
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: my experience. Oh wow, so they've expanded their they've expanded
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: it at least to diet pepsi. I still ate with
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: my hands. I drank my soup out of the bowl
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: holding my hands. Yeah, dipped my brit my clearly frozen
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: garlic bread into the soup. Did not eat my corn,
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: did not eat my clare that looked like it had
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: been taken from a bad wedding somewhere.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: I'm not a fan of a mass produced a claire.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: I'm not either got to do it like you got
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: to do it but Taga Louis style where it's very good,
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: or don't.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Because I think it is something that's so easily manufactured
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: in a factory that it'll often be kind of like
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: it's almost like an airplane dessert or something where it's
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: just this is what we've got. Take it. I might
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: give me a Milano, absolutely, this is me if like,
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: if you're not gonna go all the way for the dessert,
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: just buy a bag of chips a Hoy.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fine, They're great.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: I will prefer that because chips a Hoy knows what
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: they're doing, and somebody who doesn't care about his dessert
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: is gonna make something worse.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: Exactly exactly.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love to hear that. I had a pretty
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: decent time at medieval times. I feel like it kind
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: of feels like you're dining around a litter box.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: In a way. Yeah, I didn't think of it, but yeah,
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: because there's just the horses pooping in the dirt.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and they have like those giant like they have
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: the employees running around with like what are essentially giant
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: litter box scoopers. So it's an odd experience.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: So I my father used to own a cattle ranch.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, so.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I've I've spent a little time, and I believe the
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: technical term for those are shit shovelers.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: That's a Latin term. Yes, wow, So have you spent
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: time on horses?
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: You know, we didn't have like horses. It was kind
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: of like a small My dad got it after he
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: and my mother sold their business and got divorced, which
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: sort of happened simultaneously, and he had this like dream
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: of being a cowboy, so he bought this little like.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Ranch in.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Prague, Oklahoma, which it's spelled like Prague, but we see Prague.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: There are several of those throughout the United States.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we also have a Miama, which is spelled like
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: Miami Miama. Miama. Oklahoma is a very weird place. Both
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: of our major airports are named after men who died
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: in airplane crashes. Oh no, who will we Will Rogers
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: in Oklahoma City, Okay, and then Wiley Post in Tulsa.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: That's tough. Was were they named after they died in
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: the plane crashes? This feels like a weird move.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean Will Rogers was a very famous Oklahoma
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: So it's like you get that, but then Wyley posts
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: not as famous, and it's sort of like this seems
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: like a bad trend.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: It's kind of a like a Springtime for Hitler situation.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Let's try to just get this airport to go out
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: of business. Wow? And were they big plane crashes or
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: they these ones were They're like I'm a famous person
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: and now I'm flying my own plane into the side
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: of a mountain.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think like they're sort of like Amelia Earhart style.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: We want to go and like do some sort of
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: flight that no one has done before.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: And then right the Hubris, Yes, where's the Amelia Earhart Airport?
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: We need to get that going?
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Is there not one?
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: I would love? I would go to that. That should
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: fly through the Bermuda Triangle.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: You know what is a great airport is the Charles
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Schultz Airport in Santa Clara.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Is it Peanuts themed?
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Oh, it's this tiny little airport with all this
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: Peanuts stuff in it, and it like you know, takes
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: you to wine country like near Heals Bird right. I
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: don't know.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Is that the Sonoma region?
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: I think so?
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: But you can fly there direct from Barbank and all
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: the airplanes are shaped like doghouses and the red barn.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Wow, there's a Snoopy on all the planes.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's where I love Peanuts. I absolutely adore Peanuts
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: and I feel like anything Peanuts themed I'm on board with.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: It's our current television screensaver.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Oh you know how Apple, if you have Apple TV,
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: it was like landscapes and now you can choose Peanuts.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: You can and it just is it animation or is
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: it just pictures of the various animation.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: It's a lot of like Snoopy sleeping on his doghouse
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: and then like running around. It's very Snoopy.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, this is very sweet. Yes, yeah, I'm still on
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: the lion scapes because I like to try to guess
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: where they are, and it's almost nine out of times
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: ten times. Dubai or lax La.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: Is the areal of x is my worst airport in
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: the world.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: It's such a that is the best version of lax
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: You only want to be in a drone above it
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: exactly if you're down on the ground level, forget it.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: They should do a screensaver of Burbank Airport. Oh, they
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: should have something Apple could look into right well.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: And you hear it.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Burbank is going to be completely redone soon. What's happening, Well,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: they're just.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: Going to update it so it doesn't look like a who.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Have anybody touching Burbank. I agree with you.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: I think it just needs to be its own special
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: little thing where you can, forgotten time, valet your car
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: for twenty seven dollars a day and you literally drive
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: it up, you throw your keys at the guy and
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: in five minutes you're past TSA and you're.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: It's the best airport in the world.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's got like six Guy Fieri restaurants, and.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: It certainly does. I think it's fiery, bathroom gates, only
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: four flights a day, It's so cool. I wonder, Oh,
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: this is genuinely concerning to me. I wonder what. I
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: hope it doesn't get in the way of it being
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: so easy, one would hope.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: Well, I think there's also the limiting factor of there
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: can only be so many flights out of out of Bourbank,
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: right because of the noise pollution.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, because it's kind of in a suburban area.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Yes, there's like very residential and also all the studios, right,
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: because like we're in studio city and right next to
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: like Radford and Universal and all that, and you can
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: definitely like hear the planes of being Wow.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Definitely like a stop for planes is Yeah, so that
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: will kind of probably keep it as small as possible,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: you would think. So we've got to preserve it. It's
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: it's heaven on earth.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: It is the best light experience in the world.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Do you know when all of this renovation is going
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: to begin? Uh no, I've brought you on here at
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: the Burbank Airport official.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: But that is that sent a jolt through my body.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I don't want them touching it. It's my little precious airport.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't mind it being a little cleaner, Like if
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: we wanted to replace some carpets.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: The carpets are a little rough.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Maybe wanted to update the bathroom situation a little bit.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: That's part of the charm. It's part of the charm.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: It's like, you know, it's just like it's just been
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: forgotten in the back of LA's closet and we get
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: to take advantage of how easy it is. But maybe
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: they'll clean the carpets, maybe they'll put in some tile,
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: get one decent coffee place. Yeah, but I don't really
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: care as long as I can just walk in essentially.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: Right, I'm happy to spend sixty dollars on a whiskey
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: cocktail and chicken fingers and Guy Fieri's.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: How are the chicken fingers not bad? I believe I
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: feel like Guy Fieri would be decent with chicken fingers. Yeah.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: The peak chicken finger is wingstop.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Oh interesting, I've never been to a wing stop.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: It's worth even just postmaning. But the chicken tenders themselves
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: right well, and they're ranch sauce. Oh is it's peak
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: ranch stace.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: A good ranch that's basically my number one chicken finger
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: dipping sauce.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I'll take a barbecue or honey mustard every now
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: and again, but ranch needs to be the center.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: And barbecue it could be any flavor. Essentially, you really
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: never know with barbecue, but ranch, you're like there's a
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: ballpark area of ranch. Sometimes barbecue sauce is a little sweet.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, it's got tons of sugar in it. It's
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: essentially you know, the base green. The base ingredient of
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: American barbecue sauce is ketchup.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: If you're never a major on barbecue, no, I have Okay,
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: but it all starts with like, dump a bottle of ketchup,
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: add brown sugar, throw in some spices, a little vinegar mustard.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like a vinegar barbecue sauce.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: Are you from? Where are you from?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: I'm from Salt Lake City.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, Okay. So you're not from a like a barbecue.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Ring No, no, no no. I guess your tay would
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: say it's more of a ranch ranch oriented mayo based sauces. Yes,
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: because we are famous with our fried sauce, which is
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: ketchup and mayonnaise mixed together. Where you're from Texas? Oklahoma? Oklahoma? Right?
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: And what's moy.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah very much? So Oklahoma. And I hate to say
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: this because Texas, but sooner. Oklahoma is just culturally the
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: northern province of Texas, right right, It's like it's cowboys
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: and Indians, it's barbecue and yeah.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I always for the longest time, I kind of just
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: assumed Oklahoma was very dusty.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Well because that's where the dust Bawl happened.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: So one a time did not make this connection.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: That's where all the oakie is left in grapes of
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: wrath to come to California. So Oklahoma. More fun facts
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: aside from our airports named after people.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Graft Is.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: So the dust Bawl happened because well, first of all,
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: we kicked all the Native Americans out of the southeastern
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: United States, right, Florida, Georgia, alban right, march them on
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: the trail at Oklahoma. They're like, this is a wasteland.
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: No one wants this. And then they were like, well,
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: actually we're gonna let like even further marginalized that and
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: we're gonna let white people have the good land. And
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: then they just they farmed the land so much without
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: any regard for the environmental impact that literally all the
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: dust bowl happened, and dust was blowing all over the
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: country because they just plowed up all of the roots
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: of the things that keeps the dirt in the ground.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: That is such a crazy disaster.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: All right, and then the legacy continues. So when I
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: lived in Oklahoma, there were maybe like three earthquakes a
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: year that like were imperceptible, right three day in la
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: exactly the ground shakes a little, right it happens. I
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: left in two thousand and six, and when had the
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: time I returned to see my dad, like five years later,
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: there were something of like one hundred and seventy four
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: earthquakes a day. What because they started fracking. So, fracking
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: is a process of extracting oil on natural gas from
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: the ground where you shale is a very porous substance
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: rock material. Sorry, so you inject wastewater into the ground
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: to break up the shale and like get the gas
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: and the oil to come up. And for a decade
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: they were like, no, it's not it's not the fracking
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: that's causing their earthquakes.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: It's not the fracking, which is the reason why a
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: curse lights, which is cursed the devil's are rumblin. But yeah,
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: for like ten to fifteen years they're like, no, no, no,
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: it's not fracking.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: It's not fracking. And then finally they were like, yeah,
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: this is like becoming a problem and people can like
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: light their the drinking water on fucking whoa.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: So, what's what's the latest status of earthquakes in Oklahoma.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Well, they, of course, they put a couple of regulations
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: on it, and it was back to like seventy years.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, seventy years, you can handle seven years. Wow, that's
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Oklahoma's gotta eventually learn a lesson about screwing things up
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: with the ground.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: Well you know there is. It's just such a weird
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: place that is so dominated by like anti regulatory, right
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: Mary cowboy, Yeah, pro capitalist stuff. So we had we
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: I haven't live there, and I'm basically like as a transperson,
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: like illegal and open anymore. But there was a ballot
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: initiative in sometime in the early odds, you know, twenty tens,
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: where Oklahoma legalized cannabis right, uh, just for anyone to
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: go and purchase. But it was it didn't come from
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: where it came from California, which is like lefty hippies
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: who think people should be able to like medicate with cannabis.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: It came from like the libertarian side of it. And
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: of course everybody wants to smoke weed. So it passed
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: this ballot initiative and then it was like okay, but
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: there was no regulation on it. Oh wow, to the
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: extent that it was so easy to get a license
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: to grow cannabis in California that drug operators from Russia
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: and China were just like buying and opening up cannabis farms.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: And then this was in Oklahoma.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they would go and they would have these huge
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: grows and they would just like dump all their trash everywhere,
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: and people would be like, like, there's a bunch of
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: Chinese people making drugs in next door, and nobody knew
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: whose job it was to go and like investigate it
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: because there were like thirteen people who worked in like
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: the cannabis organization and nobody knew if it was law
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: enforcement or the cannabis people or who. So there was
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: this like massive growth of international illegal drug cartels growing
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: to Oklahoma, and.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Then what I assume at some point there were some
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: regulations put on.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they've now like increased the regulatory agency. It's
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: not as fun as it was anymore, right, But I
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: think they're now trying to like a lot of the
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: legalization of cannabis. It hasn't been the economic boon people
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: thought it was, nor has it had the like decriminalization
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: d you know, prisonification effects people thought it would. So
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: now I think, I know, Texas just banned even sort
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: of like secondary products like Delta nine and CBD.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: While they're going in the other direction.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Right well, because Texas legalized hemp products right like CBD
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: and like you know, jute rope or whatever. But there
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: was this loophole in it where you could sell sort
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: of like it's not quite as potent as the weed
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: we get here.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: It's called Delta nine. Uh huh.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: I actually, so when I go visit my mom who
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: lives in Austin, now we would go and just like
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: buy weed from the like smoke shot. Right now it's
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: Delta nine. So me and my husband be like, we
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: light it up and it. I loved it, because California
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: weed is too strong, too much for you. I used
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: to be such a stoner in New York when I
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: was just getting like dealer weed from a nation, little
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: white lesbian with dreadlocks.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: It was great.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: I had so much fun. But this week it gives
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: me a panic attack. But in Texas it was like
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: the shitty dealer right right, Well, I'm disappointed Texas.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Texas is all over the place, good grief. Do you
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: consider Texas the south with the west so or the southwest?
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: Uh? Southwest is what I would say the answers. But
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: here's here's also the answer is that there are parts
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: of Texas that are the south, like in the eastern part, right,
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: it's sort of a butt Louisiana and Missouri along the
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: Mississippi River, you know, that was sort of the earlier
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: part of Texas that like geographically has the tall trees
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: and the rocks and.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: The rice a lot doesn't look like a Looney Tunes
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: desert exactly.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: Then you know, you go all the way out towards
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: like El Paso or Martha, it is a cool town
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: and it looks like you're in the desert with like
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: the skulls and the tumbleweeds and the Canthus.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: I was just talking to somebody about this. I don't
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: know why, but yeah, because Texas is so cowboy focused,
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: but it's also a lot of the South bullshit happening.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, I mean it definitely. You know, was on the
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: Confederate side during.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: The Civil War. Yeah, I guess that kind of I
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: think that maybe the answer there.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: And I was actually I was talking to you know,
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: Guy Brandam. Oh, yeah, of course, I was talking to
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: Guy Brandam about this. So college football is the major
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: cultural institution of the South and the Southwest, I would say.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: And there has been a realignment of conferences where Oklahoma
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: and Texas went from being in a conference that was
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: like Kansas, Iowa, Texas Oklahoma to a conference that is
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: the Southeastern Conference, and it is all of those like
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: principal deep Southern states. So Oklahoma realigned itself in this
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: cultural way to the South as no longer as part
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: of like the Southwest. I mean it's all the same, right,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: It's all the Bible ball whatever, of course, but it
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: is interesting because there was always such a thing like
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Oklahoma's not the South.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, and Oklahoma was kind of in a weird thing
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: of its own. Oh it was Indian territory. Yeah. Culturally, yes,
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I couldn't quite place them. If you had asked me
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: five minutes ago, what do you consider, well, I guess
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: I would have said Republican weirdness.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, but culturally, like I said, is it
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: is Texas with a small man complex.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: That's hard to hear. Oklahoma listener, we love you. Hey.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: I spent eighteen years in my life there, and I
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: feel like people are moving to Tulsa.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I hear that.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: I feel like they have some sort of like artists
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: program trying to get people to go there.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: So they do. Oh my god.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: I was in New York few months ago and NYU
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: has a Tulsa campus. Oh, fascinating, And I was like
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: they had all these like I wish. I went to
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: the book starts They're like NYU Tulsa, and I was.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: Like, what the fuck?
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: You pay all this money to go to NYU and like,
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: and you want to spend a semester in Tulsa.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: How bizarre.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: So I looked up the program and it's basically like
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: they found a cheap and willing place where they can
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: go send artists to like go right for six right,
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: I think right, there is some it's mostly that.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Right, Baron Trump is writing his play there now something
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: like that is one woman show, incredible, god willing. Okay, well,
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: I think we should talk about something else. There's something
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: I just have to get to, uh, which is unfortunate
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: and I'm not thrilled about it. I was excited to
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: have you here on the podcast today. Well, thank you,
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: I thought, Zeko, comeby, we'll have a fantastic time. We'll
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: move on with our days. The podcast is called I
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: said no Gifts, So I was a little I would
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: just say it was a little unsettled when I saw
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: you come into the studio. Look, I'm sure you've got
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: at least one email with the title of the podcast,
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: and you walk in holding what couldn't more clearly be
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: a gift. Uh, I have to ask is it for me?
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: It is interesting? Okay, I'm going to just push through
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: my feelings here. Should I open it here on the podcast?
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Yes? I think you should because it really dovetails nicely
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: with this question of culture and cuisine of the Middle States.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm excited to see this. Then, so here you
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: got right, it's in this beautiful black bag. Yeah. I
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: think we got that at a after party gifts somewhere. Yeah,
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: they're the tote bags just piling up in people's closets
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: from Yeah, various things. Okay, I'm gonna put it. Feels
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: like there might be two things in here.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: They're actually uh four things.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: In Okay, does it matter what order I pulled them out?
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: No, but I would pull the big one out.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's a big one. And you've really got them
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: squeezed in here. That's oh. Oh, I'm thrilled at I'm
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: already thrilled. I'm seeing a crock pot. We're seeing a
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: slow cooker, yes, okay, And should I bring everything out
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: at once? Yes? Okay, Oh, I'm so happy now I've
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: brought out well, it's got to be seventy pounds of
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: velvet to cheese. Wow, and diced chilis on a lish.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: It's this camera wise? Am I getting in the way here?
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Are you ready to? Are you about to scold me?
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Looks great? Looks great?
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Great?
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: Wow? Oh my god, I mean obviously. I mean, first
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: of all, I don't own a crock pot, which I'm
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: so thrilled about this.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: Well, this is an intentionally shitty crockpie.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: So oh no, this is gonna be this is us situation.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no no no. So they in Oklahoma.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: The dip, the thing that you eat that runs through
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: your veins is Velveta rotel dip, right.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: Which is just this shelf stable cheese product. Of course,
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: we love a shelf stable processed cheese.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: And two cans of these diced tomatoes and green chili
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: is incredible. And you cube up the velveta and you
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: put it in the crockpot with the rotel dip or
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: the rotel, and then you put the lid on.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: It, right, and you just kind of let it milk together.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I will give you a warning. It dries out,
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: so you got to put the lid back on it.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: So if you set this out at a gathering you
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: do need to inform your guests to put it back on,
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: because otherwise it will become this like desiccated block of
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: cheese product.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: That is very hard to cre a frack basically, yes, exactly. Wow.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: Well I've never I mean, I've obviously had queso in
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: various forms of this, but I've never made it at home. Yeah,
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: so this is the easiest way to do it.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: And really, if you're getting queso at a text Mex place,
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: it's just this but thinned out with chicken stock.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: Oh. Interesting, they're scamming all of us.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: Well, if you like it running, you like it running.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: This is a very thick cheese.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: Dap right right, Well, tell me why you brought this,
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, other than the fact that what a delicious
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: thing to eat. Sure.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: Well, so my my husband, my now husband, when we
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: first started dating and sort of, you know, we're like, oh,
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: this is like a thing our first purchase.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: We went to Target. We don't go to Target.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: Anymore, of course, Oh sure, but we went to Target
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: in West Hollywood, the one on like Santa Monica.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Of course, uh Highland, it's Santa Monica and Librea Librea
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: yea connected to I got best Buy and a rock
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: and roll sushi I believe. Yes.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: So yeah, our first purchased because I I wanted to
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: introduce him to this cultural statement of first purchase was
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: a crock pot just for making queso and we still
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: have it. Wow.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: And how was his first experience?
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: He loved it. I feel like it's something you'd be
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: hard pressed to find someone who doesn't love a melted cheese.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: With a tortilla chip. It's the perfect thing.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's fantastic. How often are you making it?
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: I think we only make it when people come over
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: at this point. Okay, though sometimes sometimes we love to
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: have what I like to call it taco's gringoes night.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: Oh so we get you know, the ground beef with
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: like of seasoning, and we get the hard shell tacos. Yes,
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: and you know, the grated cheese. And so sometimes when
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: we do that for dinner, we'll he'll insist that I
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: but the thing is, it's like it doesn't keep so.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: No, I mean this. I mean it's meant to be
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: on a shelf four one hundred years until you make
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: it and then forget it exactly. It'll be rotten within
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: probably ten minutes. What is this cheese made? I mean,
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: it's so made out of milk and stuff, but they
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: I guess they just made it out of like atomic
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: ingredients basically.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: So I forget when this happened, but there was you know,
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: probably like you know, sometime the economy was low to
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: the government to support cheese producers. Producers, they bought up
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: all of this cheddar cheese and like stored it in
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: a cave. What and then they're like, well, we've got it.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: We can't just like keep cheese in a cave forever.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: What the government owns all this cheese, what can we
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: do with it? And there had scientists come up with
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: a pasteurized cheese product, so it does technically start out
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: as chatter at least it's original iteration, and then it
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: gets like boiled down in whatever to the shelf stable
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: cheese product, and then they then it became government cheese,
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: right rightment, the government has all this cheese, what are
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: we gonna do?
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: We're gonna give it to poor people right right, And
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: now it's for everybody. And I would love to know
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: where that cave was.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I listened to that on an NPR podcast years ago.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: I'd have to Oh, it's like the cave in Aladdin,
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: except first, I mean I would live in a cheese cave. Absolutely.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I can imagine myself sliding down a hill of cheese,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: diving into it like Scrooge McDuck. Wow, what a whimsical
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: thing for the United States government to have done. Yeah,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: and then turned into this. I wonder when this expires.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: I want to see August twenty first, twenty five.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, so you better get on it.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: I only have a few months.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: We usually stockpile this that came from the back of
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: the shelf.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: But it does say best Buy, so it's not like expires,
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: so it probably has another forty years after that.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm sure it's fine.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it'll probably get like less tangy but
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: or more yeap potential. I mean, it's cheese. We've got
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: a lot of age.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: Have you ever opened up a big block of valveto like, No,
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: you're gonna have fun when you like cut it out
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: of the foil and it's like gooey, it also like
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: solid and wiggily.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Should I do it now?
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: You're more than welcome.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: I mean we're on video here. I think we should.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: This viewer would be so unhappy if they didn't get
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: to see this, and it's even like I've never noticed
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: it's in like this weird little box.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: You just gotta like gotta see.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: The listener right now is so confused.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: I can just grab the bottom of it up right.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: No, I'll shake it all the way. Let him learn.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Let's see here. Here we go. Wow, this is uh,
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: this is much more well, how's it gonna survive? You know,
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: the nuclear apocalypse? Whoa, it's so soft and weird. Okay,
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: we're opening it. This is probably gonna smell up the room.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Let's see here. I'm gonna have to make I will
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: literally have to make keeso tonight. Let's see here. Oh,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: it tastes wonderful when made. But smelling that that close? Whoa,
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: I just burned my nostrils out or something. Okay, let's
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: keep going. Is this gonna get all over my hands?
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Let's see here spanking it? But listen to that. That's horrified.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: That is the grossest possible noise.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: You want to pinch a little piece off and try it. Oh,
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: I won't make you do it. I'm just saying it
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: would be rude. I did bring it here, I have
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: to do it. But I am gonna say to you
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: there was.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: I would rather eat raw chicken than uncooked processed cheese,
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: like a like a what are those like the craft singles?
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: If that's not melted instant nausea? Yeah, hard agree.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: I grill a lot, so we do like a lot
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: of bike burgers, and I'm a believer in cheddar on
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: a burger, right, but my hobby and everybody else likes
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: American and healing those little.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Plastic packets over the ground. It's like, ugh, oh, I'm
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: fine once it's melted on the hamburger. But okay, I'm
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: gonna try this and just uh letting everyone know I
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: may become violently sick. So this could be the first
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: episode I've come really sick on. Which is excited? Oh right,
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: get the podcast wonderful, So start booking guests, start thinking
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: of future guests. Okay, okay, I'm gonna oh.
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: Oh, it's a gross I can barely swallow that. And
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: it was true because it's like paste texturally.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: That is not for me. This has got to be
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Do you want to try it? No, girl, I grew
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: up on that and that's with me to.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: School for lunch.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: Would they really I'm trying to think, is there any
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: other time other than melting it that you use this.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: People put this like spread it on sandwiches, and.
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: Maybe you could make like a pimento cheese, but again
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: you would still sort of be like melting any.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Right, I can't imagine this as our Oh no, ou
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: it's on my hand. I'm gonna smell like cheese for weeks,
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: Are there any recipe ideas on the box?
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: There's another one that I agree with, which is mac
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: and cheese. Okay, sure, yeah, that makes sense right.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: There might even be oh yeah, see look the recipe
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: is even on the can.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, I love a can recipe. You can kind
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: of count on these. And the recipe is it's just
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: literally two pictures of the can or two cans, and
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: then the cheese. Yeah, fifty percent less fat. That means
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: nothing to anybody.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: And for the listener reviewer, if you want to know,
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: this essentially requires two cups of macaroni. You need three
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: quarters of a pound of cheese, so that's about a
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: tenth of what you've given me here, and then a
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: third cup milk and an eighth of tablespoon or teaspoon
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: of pepper. That's almost nothing. And then you just cook
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: all of that, I assume, boil the macaroni, and then
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: throw it all together. What an easy recipe. This is
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: a recipe podcasts.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: Now Okay, great.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: This is our first official recipe. It brought to us
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: by Velveda.
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Do you have any other favorite dips?
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: Oh? My whole thing right now? Do you know lobna
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: the like?
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Oh? I love labnar, Yes, of course, So I like to.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: Take lobna because it's also it's a little healthier than
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: like mixing mayonnaise and sour cream together. I take lobna
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: and I pour a packet of the Inden Valley ranch.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: This is a great idea of powder, yes, of course,
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: and then eat vegetables. Yes, I do this with cottage cheese.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: You blend up cottage cheese with ranch.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: I actually use cottae cheese when I make macaroni and cheese.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: There's a great recipe from the New York Times that's
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: like you take cottage cheese and then you add like
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: mustard powder and cayenna and like nutmeg, and then you
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: blend it up with milk and cheddar cheese, and it
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: becomes like the slurry.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: I don't love that word. It becomes essentially a slime.
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: It becomes slightly viscousque kind of medium thick.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: You ruined eating macaroni and cheese for everyone. But it's
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: a good recipe. That's great, I'll send it to you, Okay, fantastic.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: I'd love that they didn't give me your email address.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: But oh yeah, I've specifically said do not give it
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: to Zeke. I can't have him emailing.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: I mean, there are there are so many armed guards
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: around us, like, I don't even like, why have me
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: on the podcast if you are so afraid of me.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: There's a little red dot on your forehead right now, I.
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: Was told if I move out of the chair, I
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: will be shot.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: I'm excited about this mac and cheese recipe. Yeah, obviously
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: cottage cheese is having a huge moment. Yeah, massive moment, which.
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, well, I feel like everything that was cool
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: in the nineties is now cool again. Yes, like baggy jeans,
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: baggy jeans and cottage because cottage cheese was like the
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: diet food, right it was like, oh, I'm watching my weight,
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: I'm having lettuce cups and cottage h nebresca.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, And it's like, of course nobody liked that because
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: you're eating the worst version of it. But now we've
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: realized cottage cheese is wonderful, at least I have. I've
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: been crowing about it on this podcast for five years.
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: I have a half used bucket of cottage cheese, and
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: my fridge should have brought that.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: I would have eaten the whole thing. I wouldn't have gagged.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: Now do you season it at all?
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: It depends on what I'm doing, you know, like I am.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I'll just have it with chips, a few chips.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I'll have it with toast. Sometimes I'm trying to
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: like mix it up with because some people like it
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: with sweet things, and I don't know that I'm quite
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: on board with that yet, but I'll I might throw
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: some granola in there. Okay, I'm all over the map.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: I'm also putting it in scrambled eggs. I'm trying to
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: and then I'll make my ranch dip. You're such a
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: boy from Utah.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: Oh You're like, You're like you're bringing cottage cheese back
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: to the culinary landscape of America. What do you eat
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: it with? Well, chimps and toast. Now, if I'm feeling crazy,
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: I'll put granola in it.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: And then ultimately I turn it into ranch. Well, excuse me, no,
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: I think cottage cheese. If you can find a way
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: that you enjoy it, what a miracle product.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: It's really I don't know too much about it. I
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: just know that they sell it in full fat and
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: low fat variety. But you to gull fat.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: There's no reason to get the low fat.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: No, that's another nineties That is.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: A nineties fat and the manufacturers of that product are predatory.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: They should stop. They should only serve full fat cottage cheese.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: I don't like the big curd one though.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: Oh you don't like a big curd. They like it
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: more like a slurry.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: I prefer a slush, a slurry, dairy slush.
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: If they could just dispense it out of the seven
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: eleven slurpy dispensers.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: Right into it. Straw.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: It's one of those big, those big Boba straw.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: I'm not a Boba person.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: It's fine.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not a sweet tea person. So boba is sweet
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: tea with a texture that's hard for me, and then
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: it becomes a nightmare product.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: So what I like is at Westfield Centry City, which
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: is heaven. It's quite a mall it is they have
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: and of course I forget the name, but there's like
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: a bougie Boba place where you can choose your sugar level,
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: so if you want to do and they have like
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: nice things like a strawberry jasmine right. Oh, with strawberry
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: jasmin iced tea sounds nice, but I only want twenty
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: five percent of the sugar.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: Interesting, and then I want strawberries at the bottom instead
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: of the boba pearls.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, so this is a little more my speed. So
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: I probably could get an unsweetened tea, yes, with dirt
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: at the bottom.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, that's put velveta in the bottom if you
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: want it. Yeah.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: I remember the first time I ever saw boba. It's
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: a long time ago at this point, but I thought, oh,
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: that looks so magical and exciting, and then I had
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: probably two SIPs. I was like, this is the worst
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: thing I've ever tried. And God blessed boba and everyone
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: who drinks it. But for me, I can't. The backwash
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: element of it feels strange. See.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: I discovered boba when I was like in high school.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: I think I was at debate camp at the University
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: of Michigan. And of course all these kids who came
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: from the East Coast and from California, like they knew
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: what boba was. I was like, what is it? And
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: I always got like a a green apple slush with
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: the boba on the bottom, so it was like it
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: was like an icy and then the tap yoga pells
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: got like really hard, and so I wasn't like really
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: into that. But for me, it was all about getting
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: like the fruit slush.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: Oh right, of course I never would get.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: Like the like the milk tea.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: Right, yes, for me, I love the taste of tea,
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: but once it becomes sweetened, it's a it's like the
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: opposite of tea for me.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Culturally, I am from an unsweetened ice team part
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: of the country.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Oh interesting because I kind of would have assumed you
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: were from a sweetened tea part of the country.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, that's southwest West, remember.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: Right, Sure, you guys have the right idea exactly on
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: sweet and icy. I'll drink it all day.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's great.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: Put a teaspoon of sugar in that, and I'm throw
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: it in the garbage.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm also not a big believer in like squeezing
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: lemon in iced team.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: Okay, So now now we're going to get in a fight. Okay, fine,
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: you know like the sourness of the lemon.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: No, well, I actually prefer My favorite form of iced
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: tea is a mint iced tea.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: Oh sure, if.
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: You ever been to Fresh Corn Grill in West.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: Hollywood, I have once.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: They do a mint iced tea. Okay, and if you
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: drink it all while you're there, they'll give you it
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: to go.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: Ones. Oh I love a free refill, free refills. I
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: think we're gonna lose them soon. And I'm so afraid.
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: You know this is it's it's very interesting because growing up,
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: I'm sure you remember this too. You go to a
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: restaurant and you got a court glass. Yes, I got
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: three pints in a big red plastic glass, enough for
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: the whole family. Yeah, and you drink half of it,
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: they bring a new one. And that's how it was.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: We never drink water with a meal. We just went
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: right up to the soda fountain import it right in
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: our mouths. But now, and I remember the first time
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: we went to New York and we had to like
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: pay per diet coke. Oh, and my family's just like that.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: That was the thing. That really threw them about New York.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: Of course, not the whole says.
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: It was like, you're making me pay per dik and
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: I gotta finish it, and then I gotta like wave it,
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: and I got asked.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: For another one. Unacceptable.
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: Yes, So we found this pizza place called John's Pizzaia,
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: very famous, and there for five dollars, they'd give you
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: a picture of diet pepsi, so we would sit down
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: and immediately orderly.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: If you find something like that in New York, I mean,
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: I'm there, I'm there. I'm trying to think of other
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: places in New York I'll go for a free refill,
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: and I'm coming up blank. You have to go to
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: essentially a chain. Yeah, it's been a minute.
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: I even't I lived in Los Angeles for like nine
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: years at this point, and I did nine years in
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: New York before.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't think of a free refoo place. Yeah,
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: I remember.
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: The only place where you could probably get a free
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: refill is if you go to a bar and order
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: a non alcoholic memory right.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: And even there, I think it's gonna be tough. I
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: think it's going to and they'll probably look at you
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: like you're insane, like you're getting another soda, so.
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: It's wow, do you really need another?
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: The judgment there is really harsh. Yeah, but I feel
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: like ten years from now, a free refill will be
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: a thing of the past. And I don't know what
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do personally, I'm gonna have a meltdown.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: Well, you know, as far as sugar sodas go, it's
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: still largely made with corn syrup.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, and we grow a lot of corn here. Yeah,
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: So I don't know.
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: Let's not speculate about the world. You were saying ninety
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: We began like ninety years at a in the future
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: at an estate sale, and I was like, girl, the
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: country's not going to make it ninety the planet's not
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: going to make it ninety years on a plane to
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: go to Mars.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: This cheese will be the emperor of Earth in ninety years. Yeah,
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: and to rise up and because cheese, I do feel
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: like you see a crockpot at a lot of a
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: state sales.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, look, I'm a big believer in a
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: slow cooker. This is not when you want to actually
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: like cook things like.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: A dangerous product. I'm so afraid to use this.
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: That's why it's just for Kso I have this exact
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: same crock pot in my home.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: And it is do you have another crockpot for other things?
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: I do?
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: I do so many moons ago I did like, they
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: probably don't do this anymore. I went to go like
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: give a talk for Pride Month at Whirlpool in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Great,
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: and I was brought there by like you know, the
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: DEI right, and they were like, we can We're only
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: authorized to pay you so much in cash, but then
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: we have sort of like an unlimited budget to give you.
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: Heaven Whirlpool products.
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: So they all so kitchen aid is under that sure umbrella.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: So I got like a seven hundred dollars slow cooker
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: and it has like an attachment with like an arm
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: so it can like stir wostantly. And again I was Nico.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: My husband and I were just starting to date, and uh,
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: you know, he's on this like big television show and
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: this big flashy person and not trying to like, well,
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: I can get cool stuff too, So I send them
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, you know I can get I can.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: Get all the free appliances I want.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: Do you want an appliance? And so he he looks
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: at it and this is this is very him. He
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: finds like a one thousand dollars kitchen aid mixer.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, I mean this is I was going to ask
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: you this because I would love I have a nice
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: kitchen aid mixer at home, but if I was given
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: carte blanche with kitchen Aid mixers, I'd have ten in
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: my home.
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and he picked out like it's a special limited edition.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: Matt Black Latman's Kitchen Aid mixer.
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: They're individually numbered because they only make Like, so, I
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: really want to impress this guy.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: I'm really into.
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: So I email the people and I'm like, if this
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: is too much, it's okay, here you go. And not
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: only did they send me the kitchen Aid mixer, which
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: I you know, got to kind of like, yeah, they
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: sent me two of the slow cookers, and they were
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: willing to.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: Send a budget they've got for this.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: I know they were willing to send me like a
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: washing machine, yes, forget a dishwasher. But I lived in
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: an apartment in West Hollywood. Like, I didn't open a
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: showroom and sell these things. I know now, I'm like,
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: we had to replace our washer and dryer in our
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: our home that we purchased five years ago because the
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: people we bought the home from stole the washer and dryer.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: Oh we bought our home from They have great they
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: had impeccable taste. So the house is really well done.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: But they were terrible people. So when you when you
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: buy a home, you set a date that you're going
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: to hand over the keys. It was we'd had problems
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: and then it was like two weeks before we were
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: about to move into the home. And this is like
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: peak COVID, right, so like life is complicated. We email them,
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: we don't hear back. I email them again and they're like, yeah,
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: we might be out at the outdate, what we might
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: and then it was like no, ma'am. And then so
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: what we had done was, you know, there was the
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: date of the sale and then they wanted to have
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: two months more in the house while they finished figuring
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: out where they were going to live. And we're like, okay, fine, whatever,
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: And so then technically we became because then we owned
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: the house and they were our renters.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: Wow, technically, what a hassle.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: So the guy wrote back and was like, my child
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: is had cancer. I mean he had been cured for years. Okay,
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: but because the child had cancer. He didn't want to
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: leave the house because of COVID restrictions, and the way
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: that the law worked was like, you can't kick someone
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: out of their home for uh having COVID health restrictions.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: Oh interesting, So I was, we have fucking squatters.
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: They're trying to squaw so we had to get lawyers involved. Weird,
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: and it was like it was such a hassle to
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: finally get them out. And when you buy a house,
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: they're like the things that are like included in the
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: house price and then the things that aren't. So like
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: your couch is your furniture, but anything that is like
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: bolted to the wall, like light fixtures or Washington dryer
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: or like cabinets in the garage, that's.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: Part of the house, right right.
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: So when we were doing this walkthrough, when like we
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: became the leasers and renters whatever, he was talking about
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: all these like vintage light fixtures, which they are they're beautiful, sure,
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: And he was like, yeah, we can talk about if
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: you want to buy those from us, And I was like, no, ma'am, sir,
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: ma'am sir, we own these. These are part of de Yeah,
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: And like the guy like we're like, you have to
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: specifically exclude those, and like it was not excluded, and
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: then he wanted to fire his realtor, which he ultimately did,
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: and in his realtor, in an attempt to sort of salvage,
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: it was like, what if I just give you five
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: thousand dollars like out of my own pocket. And so
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: we looked up all the light fixtures and they were
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: like forty thousand dollars worth of light fixtures. Who they're
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: like really cool vintage pieces. So we're like, no, no,
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: And if like we come to the house and the
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: light fixtures aren't there.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: A lawsuit called the cops. Yes, they're stolen.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so we come finally we get to take over
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: the house. The light fixtures are still there, but they'd
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: taken the washer and dryer, and they had all these
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: like cabinets in the garage which were sort of like
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: piece together, right, they weren't like pieces that you got
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: from Ikia, And they had taken all of the cabinets
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: out of the garage as well.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: What what was the expectation of this person when they
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: sold the home? Are they not familiar with the idea
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: of selling an object?
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: It was It was so weird. It was like we
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: were four seeing them out of their home.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was somebody like holding someone out, like we
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: paid well over asking you of course during that time period, Yeah, wow,
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: it was It was nuts. Yeah, there was something else
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: going on, something dark. Someone had a gun. They were
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: holding a gun to these people.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: Interesting, Maybe it was you. Maybe you're not telling us
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: the whole stories. Can you force these poor people out
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: of their house? Took their like fixtures.
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: After paying them quite over asking price. I gave them
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: more money than they asked off for their home and
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: they were like okay, and then I was.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: Like, get out of there, it's mine now.
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: Wow, another crazy little story if we have time, of course,
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: so the uh it was a husband and a wife
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: and a child, and we only interacted with the husband.
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: But after they moved out and we moved in. Every
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: now and again a package would come to the address
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: address to the previous owners, which like sure you know,
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: and she text me and be like, hey, you know,
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: my aunt sent a gift for my my son. Can
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: you you know, put it out on the and I'll
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: come grabbing like yeah, not a problem, it's a gift
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: for your trump people don't know you've moved.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: But then like the six month.
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: Mark passed, which is like the acceptable time, yes, And
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: then like every three or four months a package would
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: come for her and she would text me and be like, oh, hey,
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna not.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: Like you're now just like the post office, right.
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: And so after we got to like the two year mark,
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: and she texted me to have the like telling me
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: when to have the package out for her, and I
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: was like, this has got to stop. We're going to
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: be doing this for decades if we don't stop. So
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: I didn't respond to her. And then she showed up
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: at the the time that she had decided wow, and
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: she's calling me and texting me, and I'm like, I'm
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: not responding, and she's ringing the doorbell. So our yard
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: is like gated in sure, So she then, I guess,
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: punches in her her access code, which we thought we
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: had deleted from the memory but had not. She punches
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: in the access comes into the yard, looks around, doesn't
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: see it. And then I wasn't home, but my husband was,
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: so and my husband he's Filipino, and he comes out
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: to the porch and because it's like what the fuck
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: just happened, like because we could see on the security cameras.
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: And he opens the gate and she's like, oh hi,
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: I'm you know who used to live here. I just
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: came from my package. And but like speaks like down
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: to him because she thinks he's like yeah, like the
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Uh, And she goes and he's like, man,
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: this is our property. You have entered it illegally. You
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: need to not you need to stop sending your ship
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: here because we're done.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: Good for him, How did you react?
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: She was like, uh, she like didn't know what to
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: you know, she was a white lady who was like
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: spoken with fourth.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: She was oh also for her, like what is your
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: life that that's convenient for you? Get control of your life?
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: I know, but a mess. And it's like and it
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: was all it would be like one bra or like
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: one pair of ply its like it would be this
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: like minuscule style.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: There was one time where it was some sort of
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: like tea she brought bought off Instagram.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: Like clearly, wow, what a menace? Yes, I mean whatever,
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: good for her ultimately just kind of steamrolling everyone in
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: her life. Alright, p H, Well I think we should
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: play a game. Okay, We're gonna play a game called
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: Gift Master, but I need a number between one and
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: ten from you. Okay, I have to do some light
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: calculating to get our game pieces. So right now you
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: I'll be right back. So I'm on the board of
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: directors of a wonderful organization called LAD and we work
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: in LGBTQ representation in media. Well you probably know it's
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: from the GLAD Awards, which are super fun. If you
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: would like to donate to our very important work right now,
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: you can go to GLAD dot org or you can
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: holler at me at z Kerchief on Instagram and my
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: email is just Zkerchief at gmail. So if you would
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: like to get if you were a person of consequence
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: and influence and would like to get involved with GLAD
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: and promoting LGBTQ plus quality, we would love to work
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: with you. Or if you want to give us moneies,
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: please feel free to holler at me as well. And also,
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: if you are a showrunner and you are staffing a
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: comedy writers m right now, I would love to send
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: you my samples and be an asset to your team.
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: So hire me and give me money, or donate to
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: Glad and give me money. Money means the economy is
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: great right now.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: So it's a time where people are feeling very generous.
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: Well ultimately, what I'd say, especially the entertainment industry has
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: never been better, right There are simply jobs everywhere for
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: the take, No, I mean, uh yeah, what a nightmare everything?
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: Uh my obvious. My husband's an actor. I'm a writer,
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: and my husband has been traveling too far off land
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: so much like you know, Atlanta and Connecticut to film
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: over the price and it's just really inconvenient, particularly now
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: that we have a puppy.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: Sure, a child in infants, yes, of course.
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: And uh, my dad. I was going to Burbank to
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: pick up my dad. He was flying in to see me,
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: and I saw that there was like new studio construction
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: around the Burbank airport and not far from here, and
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: I like, I immediately called my husband. I was like,
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: Warner Brothers is building new studio space. That must be
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: you know, maybe it's just for the like the tax deduction,
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: but maybe there's hope it's coming back.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: Oh I hope. So I really don't understand what's happening
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: in the television industry. It's very scary. Yeah, listener, what
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: can I recommend her promote? Well, I've got to be
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: about telling you that we have merch available. Go to
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: exactly rightstore dot com. We've got merch and you know,
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: if you want leave a user review or a listener review,
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: do whatever you want to support the podcast. We're also
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: on Instagram. Blah blah blah.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: Do you ever sell the gifts that people bring you?
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: I have never sold one. I've started giving them away
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: at live shows. Okay, because you know I've We've done
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: I think two hundred and fifty episodes and that's a
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: lot of items to have.
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: Well, you have a store, we could just.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: Get on there and start auctioning them off or just
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: put them on he may. Yeah, that's true. Can you
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: imagine the scandal for djer wineger is selling the gifts?
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: I didn't want them in the place.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: It's very clear. Okay, and everybody donate to Glad. What
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: a great organization. Hire Zeke Higher. Television writers in general,
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: it's a nightmare. This is how we play gift Master. Okay,
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: I'm going to name three people, three celebrities, and three gifts.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: Three things you can give away. Okay, you're gonna tell
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: me which gift you would give to which person? And
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: why does that make pay? Perfect sense? Okay. The three
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: celebrities today are Number one, dough Chi We love Doci.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: Oh yes, I got to meet her at the Gladaward.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: You're kidding. Yeah, Oh I'm so jealous.
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she won a glad Award.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's amazing. I mean she deserves a lot of awards.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: I mean the kind of almost Missy Elliott level visual
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: music interaction at this point.
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: Hers speature is actually fantastic. You can like look it
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: up on YouTube.
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: Very inspiring. Oh that's amazing, great, okay. Number two Diane Sawyer.
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: Oh love, where's she been?
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: Is she dead? I'm gonna google it. Diane Sawyer live.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: Such a fixture in the news world growing.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: Up, still alive?
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: Great? Uh?
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: First name, Leela. We're learning something about Diane right now.
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: I guess it sounded too ethnic.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: Leela Sawyer, Leela, Diane Sawyer, Diane Sawyer and she's seventy nine.
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: Oh good for her.
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: Happy birthday, Diane, whenever your birthday is okay. And number
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: three the Green Goblin kind of a spider man's nemesis.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: And the three things you'll be giving these people. This
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: first one is from a listener. We don't we get
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: listener suggestions for the other game we play, but this
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: is a rare one. This is from a listener named Ashley.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: The gift is a Hi Ashley, A full hour of
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: watching an expectant parent open gifts at a baby shower.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: That's kind of an experience. The second one is also
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: an experience, which is a near death experience, and number
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: three a reusable water bottle. So doci Diane Sawyer Green Goblin,
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: a full hour of watching an expectant parent open gifts
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: at a baby shower, a near death experience, and a
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: reusable water bottle.
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, I got it, So I am going to give
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: the here's the thing, green Goblin. There's also a plumbing
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: product called the green Gobbler. Really yeah, that's like a
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: more environmentally friendly version of drainaw.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: Wow, Disney's going to sue them into the ground. Maybe.
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: I don't know. It's a good product. I just bought
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: some recently. Hard Yeah, so instead of like plunging your
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: toilet when you plug it, which I'm sure you do
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: on the regular branch, eating all that cheese.
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: My home is just overflowing. Oh that's so cross.
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: You can just pour it in and shut the lid
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: and like leave it for five hours and then flush
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: it on scarn.
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: It's like a draino type product.
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's more environmentally friendly, much safer. Yeah, green
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: gobbler just pure acid. Yeah, donate to glad and buy
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: some green gobbler. They're probably trumpers. I don't know. I
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: went and I had to go find it, and it's
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: hardware because we can't go to home.
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: Deep word, it's just never ending.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: Yes, we won't have any money soon, so it's fine.
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: Everything will just be the barter economy. But yes, so
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: the green Goblin, I think he has had plenty of
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: near death experiences, right, old hat right, So I don't
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: think that is gonna because a near death experience can
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: really be like life changing and beautiful. And we also
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: don't want to give him anything beautiful. So I think
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: he's a bad guy. We want to torture him and
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: just make him watch an expected parent open.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: Gifts and what a guest at a baby shower. Yeah,
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: he flies through the window and then he's sitting there
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: quietly while the parent is opening the gifts.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: Right, and what story the parent can tell their child.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: Of course, what an amazing experience to have this man
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: in kind of just armor his hovercrafts just in your
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: living room.
• 58:23
  Speaker 3: Well exactly, and you know, maybe he can be the
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: gift of new life and the joy and love of
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: expected parents can have some sort of a transformative effect
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: on his heart. And I lead him to Christ and
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: to give up his evil ways.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: And what a godfather to have? Yeah, my godfather is
• 58:38
  Speaker 2: the green Goblin.
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, you have Spider Man at your birthday?
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: Well, the real Spider Man.
• 58:44
  Speaker 3: He drove a Toyota gorolla. I once as a child,
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: and I'll never forget it. Went to a birthday party.
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: But I guess we were a little bit late and
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: the like Batman like pulled up and this like jumped
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: as far and like stubbed out his sick. I was like, Batman,
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: that's not the batmobile.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: Batman has hit a rough patch, spend.
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: They didn't make him like park around the block.
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: Not a great bat He should have known to park
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: around the block.
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: Right, That should probably just be standard operating procedure. If
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: you're a character, h and a non public character, you
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: know when you're not just standing on the street trying
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: to harass people. But when you're a hired character, this
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: is professional hum. Okay, So I think that means, and
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: I mean this in a beautiful way. In order to
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: encourage her art and her growth as an artist and
• 59:37
  Speaker 3: a truth teller and someone who brings a new perspective
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: to the world, I'm going to give Dote the near
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: death ex Oh, I like this. Diane Sawyer too close
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: to death. Yeah, yeah, she's had enough.
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: She'll get it soon enough.
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: I don't want to bother her. She probably has a
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: nice ranch out in like you know, Palm Springs. She
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: has done her duty to the country by reporting the
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: news faithfully and truthfully for decades. And like I'll give
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: you a water bottle and leave you alone, give it
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: to your gardener, give it to your grandchild, thank you
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: for your service.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: And she probably is. Probably she might be forgetting to
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: hydrate anyway at this point.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: Oh exactly. I mean, I will say, reusable toads. I
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: don't need anymore. I have too many. I have to
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: buy ten cents, you know, a bag for ten cents
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: at Ralphs, and those those raups bags are very sturdy, right,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: And I should remember to bring them, and sometimes I
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: even put them in my car and then just don't
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: remember to bring them in.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: Of course it's a thing.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 3: But reusable water bottles.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: I'll take them off. I'll absolutely, absolutely, I think Doc's
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: gonna do an excellent job with a near death experience,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: not a death experience, right, just gets close and then
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: comes back hopefully doesn't well.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: As it was pitched, it was a near death experience
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: with no risk of death occurring. That's at least the
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: way I problem.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: No, absolutely, there's no risk of death.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: So it's like it could be as minor as like skydiving.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: Right yeah, I guess that kind of technically is a
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: near death experience.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: Because you are hurtling out of an airplane.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: Right right, Yeah, So I mean sheese today was a
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: near death experience. I can't. I could not possibly skydive
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: is because you're not allowed to expose your skin to the.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: S when you're outside.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: I probably should at this point. No, my I think
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: I probably would ultimately enjoy it. But my fear is
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: that at that moment of about to jumping to jump
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: out of the plane, and you have the person behind you,
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: the trait or what are the expert I think that
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: the animal instinct in my body would take over in
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: such a strong way.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: And you would try to kill him.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: I think of an attack or like cause a thing
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: that would ultimately lead to my death and probably their
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: death as well, And I don't trust my primal instincts
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: to be in control enough. Have you ever gone, I've
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: never gone.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: It's I'm kind of like an venture junkie, so it's
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: very much appeals to me. However, I was I threw
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: so I was the best man at my best friend's wedding.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: He is a six' four heterosexual honkman From New, jersey
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: and so we went to The poconos with like thirty
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: hooligans From New, jersey and one of, them the guy
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: who got the, drunkest the, fastest and the most often
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: tried to start the most fights pete on people off
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: of the like the deck, no and like started like
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: throwing firecrackers into the. House he was a skydiving. Instructor oh,
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: interesting AND i hear he's gotten sober and he's like
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: bought in his own plane and he's like doing very.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: Well but the idea that that's the person WHO i
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: would be trusting with my life an airplane really gives me.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: Pause, yes, yeah you don't really think about the professional
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: behind the, jump.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 3: Right, yeah you know you want to think they're like
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: fresh out of The Air, force right and then you,
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: know highly tactical practitioner and. Whatever but, no it's like
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: probably some twenty three year old they failed out of
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: community college jumping out of. Airplanes, yeah, yeah you have
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 3: no idea what that that person might be having a bad.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: Day oh, no thank. YOU i went indoor. Skydiving, Yeah
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: i've seen.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: THAT i want to try.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: That somebody gave it to me as a gift on this,
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: Podcast FLY I, fly and it was a it was
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: enough for. Me did you do it At? CityWalk i
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: did it At, CityWalk and going to City walk alone
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: is kind of a near death, experience so it was
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: thrilling in every way for. ME i recommend it. Once.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 6: Maybe.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah the parking At CityWalk is is, tough, atrocious but
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: it is if you want to go to like DOING
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 3: imax or like a big you, know big sure movie viewing,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: experience or you want to buy out a theater for
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 3: like five hundred bucks or forty people, wow WHICH i do.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: Frequently you, know people pay me, back, right which of,
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 3: Course but like we wanted to go See wicked not
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: surrounded by? Teenagers right's right for gays adults?
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: Only? Sure shall we bought it out and Saw?
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 3: Wicked?
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: Wow? Yeah or like.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: Guy brandon is a FRIEND i mentioned him, Earlier we
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: bought out one and we did a bro.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: Screening, wow this is.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: Great, yeah we did it For.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: Cruella behinding out five hundred bucks does not seem that
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: crazy for a movie, THEATER i.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: Know and you can fit forty people in, there so,
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 3: right if you like divvy it, up it works. Out
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: but the parking situation over there is is atrocious.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: Parking at a theme. Park, yes it's not for. Me,
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: okay it's time you played the game very. Well by the,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: way we've got to answer a listener. Question. Great we've
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: got people sending in voice, notes, emails all kinds of
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: things TO i, said no gifts at gmail dot. COM
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: i think we'll do a voice note, Today, onalise could
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: we hear a voice? Note Hello bridger And.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 6: Aalise i'm not going to be telling you my name
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 6: for reasons that may become clear in a, second BECAUSE
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 6: i am looking for your assistance in some ideas of
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 6: HOW i can exact petty. Revenge there's a member of
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 6: my family who has greatly greatly screwed over the rest
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 6: of my family in ways that are monumental and indeed,
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 6: irreversible AND i don't want to cause any property. DAMAGE
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 6: i don't want to cause him any physical, harm BUT
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 6: i do want to annoy him for the rest of his.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 6: Life if you have any, THOUGHTS i thought perhaps that maybe, You,
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 6: bridger have tried to exact revenge on some of your ungrateful,
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 6: guests and maybe you would be willing to share some
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 6: of your favorite techniques with.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: Me thank you so much for your. Help mmmmmm. INTERESTING
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: i wonder what happened in this. Situation this seems like
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: a genuine. Problem what did this family member?
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 3: DO i that's Very that's WHAT i have to do with,
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 3: money like absconded with something that was supposed to be
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: everyone's general, inheritance, right you know? RIGHT i have two
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: ideas for petty. Revenge, oh, yes well ONE i SO
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: i had a friend who moved in with a girlfriend
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: right before the, pandemic, okay and then the girlfriend was.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: LIKE i want to break up with.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 3: You you have to. Leave, oh and we're talking Like
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: april twenty.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: Twenty, oh that's like. Him, Sorry april twenty. Twenty everybody
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: had to just stay in the relationship for at least another, month.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: And she like went and like stayed with her. Family
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 3: And i'm, like, why why does my friend need to
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 3: give up the apartment when you can go stay with
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 3: your family and my friend doesn't have that. Option so
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 3: my WHAT i told her is that she should right
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: before she hands the keys back, over she should take
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 3: a massive dump in the toilet and not flush. It,
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 3: great SO i would, say should you go to this
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 3: man's house and visit, him you should encourage everyone to
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 3: not flush and to blow up each individual.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: Bathroom, everybody get as sick as humanly, possible.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 3: Go and house some taco bell, yes get a Cheesy gordida,
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 3: crunch and then you you give him.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: Head over To. Darryl's, okay that's a good. One the
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: second one is. Glitter oh we're.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: Sand glitter never goes. Away you go and you just
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 3: smear glitter on all of the surfaces of his. Home
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 3: he will be cleaning it out for. Decades he will
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 3: probably die of the microplastics that he and jests as
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: a result of.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: It fill up an envelope with that and mail it to. Him,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: yeah mail a. Package this is. GREAT a box full
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: of sand with a loose, bottom.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 3: Don't tell me with a good time.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: He picks this thing. Up life? Ruined any sand. GLITTER
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: i think those are two of the anthrax anthrax is
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: always an. Option those all feel like a decent petty go.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: Find an infected, cow like get That Benedict cumberbatch.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: Film is that where anthrax comes? From? ANTHRAX i feel
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: LIKE i know where is anthrax.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: Leg it's not like the bubonic.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: Plague, Now i'm so.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 5: Curious anthrax spores are formed by anthrax bacteria that occur
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 5: naturally in soil in most parts of the.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: World, okay so just some dirty. SOIL i feel like
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: glitter is such a good way to just kind of
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: you could even just dump it in his. Car there's
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: so many ways to get glitter into a person's life
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: and it will never.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: Exit, yeah you could also think of this if you want,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: to because She's she's, like you, KNOW i want to
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: torture him for the rest of his. Life so there's
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: all sorts of like fun petty pranks of like saran
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: wrapping his car shot, right right right when you know
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 3: that he's gonna like he's running late for, work if
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: you can find a way to saran wrap his car
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 3: and then ensure that he's running late for, work and
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: then he has a saran wrap car and once he
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 3: gets in steering wheel covered in, glitter, right just like
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 3: make it like a fun thing you do with your
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 3: family every six, months or like for the, holidays you,
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 3: know like for the, holidays we're going to plan a
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 3: new prank to prank Uncle. Frank you, know it could
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: be a great way to bring the family back to.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: You of, course you have a common animate at this.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: Point what more do you? Need that should just like
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: there should be like a almost a sure chart that
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: every year one member of the family gets to destroy
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: this guy's. Life, yeah AND i, said, MAIL i feel
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: like sell his, address oh, yeah or email?
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: Address oh you could give his address and phone number
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 3: to The church Of Jesus. CHRIST a lot of Day.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 7: Saints former member sitting right, Here, YEAH i can tell
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 7: what gave it, away and then you, know send some
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 7: nice missionaries over to his.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 3: Home could do the same with.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: Scientology scientology is a brutal. One those people will not
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: leave you alone and they. Are they don't pick up social.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: Cues i'll say, that. No And jehovah's.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: Witnesses, yes Though jehovah's, WITNESSES i feel LIKE i are
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 3: a little more, mild you think.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: So the ones in my neighborhood have been relentless. Recently
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: really it's hard because they're like, nice But i'm just
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: leave me. Alone i'm not. Interested. Please this is why
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: we have a locked. Fence this is WHY i have
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: a door on my, home.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: Ghett i've only Had jehovah's witnesses like you'll see them
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: ount with like a rack of pamphlets on the subway
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 3: In New york or a public. Place they sometimes are
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 3: at lax which is another reason to avoid, it or
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 3: at The. Americana, yes but they're never especially Like i'm
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 3: holding hands on my.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: Husband of, COURSE i will, say if these people come
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: to your, door be nice to. Them i'm a former
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: missionary and it's a miserable.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 3: Experience where did you?
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: SERVE i was In East? Malaysia oh, WOW i. WAS
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 2: i was supposed to be there for two. Years was
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: there for four or five? MONTHS i. Guess then then
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: you have a, breakdown et, cetera et. Cetera BUT i was, There,
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: yeah and it was.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: HORRIBLE i you, Know i'm so sorry you had a horrible.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: EXPERIENCE i appreciate.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: That there is part of me that sort of loves
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 3: The mormon mission culture because the idea that you take
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 3: an eighteen year old out of high school and then
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: you you go and you teach them how to speak
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: a new, language and you give this like impossible task
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 3: to them where people are going to be like mean
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 3: and unkind and they have to figure it out and
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 3: they have to write letters home and they can't have
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 3: phones and they can't call it all that. Stuff that
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: you go and you give them this experience where they
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 3: have to like live by meager means and be part.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: Of a new.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 3: Culture and then after that they get to go to.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: College, well there's there are ups and. Downs, sure it's
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: a little wing, CLIPPY i will, say, yes because they
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: don't get to read anything but scripture the whole. Time
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: and while your brain is, Forming, yes it's a little
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: a little tough to be like you're a child for
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: the next two, years your brain should be.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: Well i'm not saying everyone go be A mormon, missionary
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 3: but some sort of experience like that where there is
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 3: an open literature contingency in whatever you, Want, christy.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: That should be kind of a required thing for every
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: eight year. Olds something that's just like you leave hometown
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 2: and experience something slightly more difficult where you're going to.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 3: Learn and, obviously like so many people have so many
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 3: challenging upbrings here In, America i'm thinking more about like suburban.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 2: White, kids private school students.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: Exactly, yes if you go to private, school.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: You have to be always started on. That but trust,
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 2: ME i, went oh you. Did, yeah well you should
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 2: be off building houses. SOMEWHERE i sho my dad's.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 3: Catigry there we, go there we.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: Go, NO i think That i'm kind of on board
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: with that. Idea how did we get To mormon missionaries
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: from petty? Revenge? Oh, yes send the missionaries to give
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: up somebody's address, PHONE i guess ultimately docs this.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 3: Man, YEAH i MEAN i think that's just the thing
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: is like whatever you, know one eight hundred number you
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 3: can sign up with just your phone number and then
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 3: it just bills your telephone.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 2: Company, yeah sign them up for free karate lessons at
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: one of those they have those, restaurants et.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 3: CETERA i was once seeking sort of like nonviolent kind
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 3: of secret ways to get revenge on. Someone and they
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 3: don't have it. Anymore but it used to be that
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: if you went to The department Of Homeland, security you
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 3: could sign up for sign up anyone's phone number for.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 3: Updates oh and so there would be like fire, updates
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 3: and there there's one hundred and twenty, things and you
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 3: could just hit select all and then the phones would
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 3: just get constantly spammed with all of these updates and
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 3: people had to like change their phone.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: Numbers you can't do it.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 3: Anymore but that's another, thing is just to go and
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 3: sign up his phone for all these people who are
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 3: just gonna like call him and text him all the.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 2: Time somebody get in the comments and tell us some
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: of these new things you can sign people up. FOR
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 2: i think we should all have that in our back,
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: pocket a way to basically ruin someone's. Life, oh we
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 2: answered the question, Perfectly, okay. GREAT i feel like there
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 2: was a range of, ideas a range of ideas a
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: whole you, know just pick and. Choose it's a. Buffet
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: whatever however you want to destroy, him do.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 3: It we'll do, it but like do it in like fun.
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 3: Ways that don't ultimately hurt people that just are, annoying, right.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: Or watch Kill bill and kind of follow that.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 3: Formula on the advice of my, ATTORNEY i refuse to
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 3: support that.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: Idea, YEAH i probably. Do, AH i have my beautiful crock.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: Pot i've got my gorgeous.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 3: Cheese, YEAH i MEAN i think it's been unwrapped for
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 3: a little too long to be. Affected now you can
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 3: already see it's like becoming even more neon on the
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 3: edges where.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: It's, wow oh it's off. Gassing, wow this room is becoming.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 2: Toxic look at. That what a. Product, Well i've got
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: to make some, case so may do with a different.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 3: Gotta give it a nice little we'll.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 2: Do one final. Spank, wow.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 3: That's sounds so. Naughty it is weirdly.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: Sacond that is a bizarre. Thing that's essentially it's a
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: Great american. Invention, Zeke thank you for the. Gift thank
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: you for being. Here how it's my pleasure and. Listener
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: the podcast is. Over set the crock, Pot start making
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 2: yourself some. Cheese do whatever you. Want i'm not in
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 2: charge of. You that's your. Duty i'll talk to you.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: SOON i love. You, GOODBYE i said No gifts is
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: an exactly right. Production our senior producer is ON A Lisa,
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: nelson and our episodes are beautifully mixed By Ben. Tolliday
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 2: the theme song is By Miracle Worker Amy, mann and
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 2: we couldn't do it without our, Booker Patrick. Cottner you
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 2: must follow the show On. Instagram AT i, said no,
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: gifts that's where you're going to see pictures of all
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 2: these wonderful Gifts i'm. Getting and don't you want to
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: see the gifts?
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: Line?
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 2: Man did you hear?
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: Fun a man myself perfectly? Clear when YOU'RE i guessed,
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: him you gotta come to me, Empty AND i, said no,
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: guests your own, presences presents EN i already had too much,
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: Stuff so how do you dare to surbey me