Latest / The World of Phil Hendrie / Episode #3958 The New Phil Hendrie Show

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Episode #3958 The New Phil Hendrie Show · The World of Phil Hendrie

0:00
Speaker 1: Hi, it's Bobby Dooley. The following is a world-famous Phil
0:02
Speaker 1: Henry show. Encore? Encore? Encore. Encore presentation. All right, man.
0:15
Speaker 1: Bobby Dooley and Steve Dooley, you know that music. That
0:18
Speaker 1: is generally the harbinger, you know.
0:22
Speaker 2: What does that mean?
0:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, what does that mean?
0:24
Speaker 2: The harbinger.
0:25
Speaker 1: It is the It is the signal, the sign, that
0:29
Speaker 1: something's going to.
0:30
Speaker 2: Are you sure? I don't know.
0:32
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, yeah, it's generally the sign or the signal
0:34
Speaker 1: that the Doolies are with us, and they are. Now,
0:36
Speaker 1: before we bring on Bobby and Steve, I want to...
0:39
Speaker 1: The controversy here is that she said it is Badoo
0:43
Speaker 1: Directive 6.
0:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, she has come out with Badoo Directive 6. What
0:47
Speaker 2: is this all about?
0:48
Speaker 1: Now, hold on. Before you start giving me the Badoo
0:50
Speaker 1: Directive 6... Badoo is what? Phil, we've been all through this.
0:54
Speaker 1: Badoo is what she is officially called by the homeowners there.
0:58
Speaker 1: She is the Badoo. And she got that name how?
1:02
Speaker 1: She got it through the, what's his name? Through Doug
1:05
Speaker 1: Danger shorthand. Yeah, it's like Bobby Dooley, Bobby Dooley, Badoo.
1:09
Speaker 1: It's Badoo is shorthand for Bobby Dooley. And she's the Badoo. Hey,
1:13
Speaker 1: you know all of this, man. Don't pretend like you don't. Okay,
1:15
Speaker 1: so she's the Badoo, and now she has directives. Yes,
1:18
Speaker 1: she has directives because she feels, but you have the instinct.
1:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got it right in the notes. She feels
1:23
Speaker 2: she's been disrespected and disrespected too. as the people drive
1:27
Speaker 2: by and they did not acknowledge the high rear end.
1:29
Speaker 1: Now, the reason why she feels acknowledging her quote-unquote high
1:33
Speaker 1: rear end is important is because Bobby stays physically fit.
1:37
Speaker 1: She feels she's an example, not just morally and not
1:41
Speaker 1: just in terms of behavior, but also physically to the
1:44
Speaker 1: homeowners there. So she is, in her mind, a great
1:47
Speaker 1: homeowners association president, an exemplary mother and wife, as well
1:51
Speaker 1: as someone who's physically fit. And the symbol of that
1:54
Speaker 1: is the fact.
1:55
Speaker 2: No, she just, the symbol of that is the fact
1:57
Speaker 2: that her rear end.
1:58
Speaker 1: Is taut, tight.
2:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's tight and high.
2:04
Speaker 1: What are you looking at? I'm looking at all three
2:06
Speaker 1: of you people. You're taking this stuff seriously. Phil, this
2:09
Speaker 1: is the woman's world.
2:10
Speaker 2: This is the homeowners association, Phil. It's the Western, what
2:13
Speaker 2: do you want us to do about it? Yeah, it's
2:15
Speaker 2: her world. We're just looking at her high rear end.
2:18
Speaker 1: Whatever. Okay, all right, Bobby's going to come on with us.
2:21
Speaker 1: Ted Bell, I think, was scheduled. Ted Bell is filing
2:24
Speaker 1: a lawsuit. We'll hear more. Harvey Warman will be on
2:27
Speaker 1: to talk about that. What kind of lawsuit? Well, he
2:29
Speaker 1: thinks that they're, speaking of the Dooley's, they're spook-a-rama rips
2:33
Speaker 1: off Teddaween. Oh, for Christ's sake. Okay, Bobby Dooley and
2:37
Speaker 1: Steve Dooley from the Western Estates Homeowners Association joining us
2:41
Speaker 1: on Line 5 here. Okay, so Bobby, tell me what's
2:44
Speaker 1: going on. Oh, hi, Phil.
2:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, and thank you for having us on. Bidoo Directive
2:50
Speaker 3: 6 is very straightforward and very simple, Phil. It simply
2:55
Speaker 3: says that I don't—well, it's Mount Goblin, Steve.
3:00
Speaker 1: Oh, that's the lyrics to Mount Goblin. Hold on, Mr. Henry.
3:03
Speaker 3: I wanted to sing Mount Goblin to you, Phil, as
3:05
Speaker 3: a way to cap off Bidoo Directive 6, if I may.
3:09
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. Okay, well, you'll find out. Yeah,
3:13
Speaker 1: you'll find out.
3:14
Speaker 3: Here it is. I know I'm not a dictator and
3:16
Speaker 3: homeowners have this constitutional rights and everything like that. But
3:21
Speaker 3: my Badoo Directive 6 simply requires... And here's where we
3:26
Speaker 3: got confusion, Phil. All it does is require homeowners, upon
3:30
Speaker 3: entering our main gate on King Kong Boulevard, where the
3:34
Speaker 3: topiary of my high, lifted rear end is... To look
3:38
Speaker 3: toward the HRE, nod, and then look straight ahead and proceed.
3:43
Speaker 1: What is HRE?
3:44
Speaker 3: High Rear End.
3:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, High Rear End. What's up, people? You had to
3:48
Speaker 1: ask that, huh? I don't know, Bobby. Now, Bobby, when
3:51
Speaker 1: you say they need to just look, what.
3:53
Speaker 2: Does that mean? They're acknowledging it.
3:57
Speaker 3: Are you okay?
3:57
Speaker 1: I'm fine, Bobby.
3:59
Speaker 2: I'm trying to hear your side of this. What are
4:02
Speaker 2: they doing?
4:03
Speaker 3: When they pull up to the main security shack, look
4:07
Speaker 3: to the left at the high rear end, nod, and
4:10
Speaker 3: we want the.
4:10
Speaker 1: Eyes cast down. Look straight ahead. Move through. Okay, Bobby,
4:15
Speaker 1: I've got to ask you a question here.
4:16
Speaker 3: And if you're going to say this is quasi-religious, Mr. Hendry,
4:20
Speaker 3: I checked it out with Reverend Sun Grove. I checked
4:23
Speaker 3: it out with Father Lernerman. I checked it out with
4:26
Speaker 3: Rabbi Five. So I checked it out.
4:29
Speaker 1: You checked it out in terms of what? Whether it
4:31
Speaker 1: was obscene or, more to the point, is it the
4:34
Speaker 1: worshipping of a false idol? See, that's where it starts
4:38
Speaker 1: to get a little creepy. When you have people looking
4:40
Speaker 1: at your rear end, nodding, and with the eyes cast out...
4:44
Speaker 1: It's simply... Them acknowledging that I work very hard to
4:49
Speaker 1: keep Western Estates the top-notch gated community in all of
4:55
Speaker 1: Southern California. Okay, now let's say I'm a homeowner, okay?
4:58
Speaker 1: I know what you're going to say, Mr. All right, well,
5:00
Speaker 1: hold on. Let's say I'm a homeowner. All right. I
5:03
Speaker 1: know what you're going to say, Mr. All right, well,
5:05
Speaker 1: then let me say it anyway, if you don't mind. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah.
5:11
Speaker 2: I'm a homeowner.
5:12
Speaker 1: I pull up to the thing. I don't look at
5:14
Speaker 1: your rear end. I don't cast my eyes down.
5:17
Speaker 3: Then you get a phone call.
5:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, then you get the phone call. Okay, what does
5:21
Speaker 1: that mean?
5:22
Speaker 3: Well, what we do is we generally, I don't usually
5:25
Speaker 3: admit to this, we call the house and hang up.
5:29
Speaker 1: Oh, you call... What are you laughing at? You call
5:32
Speaker 1: whose house? Whoever the transgressor was, the people that don't...
5:36
Speaker 1: Anybody that does not acknowledge the Badoo and the HRE
5:39
Speaker 1: of the Badoo, we call the house and hang up.
5:42
Speaker 1: We call the house and hang up. We walk by,
5:45
Speaker 1: take pictures of the house.
5:46
Speaker 2: So what you're doing is you're intimidating people.
5:48
Speaker 1: No, we're not. We're not going to do anything. Yes,
5:51
Speaker 1: you are. You're trying to frighten people. No, we are not.
5:54
Speaker 1: Then why are you doing it?
5:56
Speaker 3: Well, we're just saying, you know, I'll go to the door,
5:58
Speaker 3: I'll go, like Kathy Romja, who lives over here, In
6:03
Speaker 3: the buttercup phase, I went to her door. I said, Kathy,
6:06
Speaker 3: I noticed that you not only did not look at
6:10
Speaker 3: the HRE, but you just kept blathering away on the phone.
6:14
Speaker 3: And I want to know what's that about. Now, she
6:16
Speaker 3: said for me to mind my own business and get.
6:19
Speaker 1: Out of her house. What did you do? Nothing. We left.
6:23
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it's her. You know, Phil, it's
6:26
Speaker 1: her everlasting soul in a lot of ways. Yeah, it's
6:29
Speaker 1: whether she's going to meet her maker. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
6:31
Speaker 1: Hold on. Hold on.
6:32
Speaker 2: What are you talking about, everlasting soul?
6:35
Speaker 1: I'm talking... Wait a minute. Her everlasting soul. Because if
6:40
Speaker 1: you disrespect people, don't that go against the Bible? What
6:44
Speaker 1: do you mean, don't it go against the Bible?
6:46
Speaker 3: Don't it go against the Bible if you disrespect a person?
6:49
Speaker 1: Yes or no, Mr. Henry? Don't it go against it?
6:51
Speaker 1: I don't know, and I don't give a you-know-what, okay?
6:53
Speaker 1: Are you saying that if it goes against the Bible,
6:55
Speaker 1: then if they don't... In other words, not acknowledging your
6:58
Speaker 1: high rear end goes against the Bible? In a manner
7:01
Speaker 1: of speaking, yes. Yeah, we're not saying that Bobby's God,
7:04
Speaker 1: we're not saying that Bobby's even Jesus, or Mary Magdalena, or,
7:09
Speaker 1: I mean... The Virgin Mary. The Virgin Mary. We're saying, though,
7:13
Speaker 1: that by the high rear end, and we have people
7:16
Speaker 1: say that, say, by the high rear end, I'm happy
7:18
Speaker 1: to live at Western Estates. That's what we have people,
7:21
Speaker 1: if they fail to acknowledge the rear end... if they
7:24
Speaker 1: fail to acknowledge the rear end. Bobby, you're in some
7:27
Speaker 1: kind of an ego trip.
7:29
Speaker 3: No, I am not.
7:31
Speaker 1: I checked this out with Dr. DeBloon, who is my... Dr.
7:36
Speaker 3: DeBloon, who's my therapist. He said that it sounded like
7:39
Speaker 3: a lot of fun. Go for it.
7:40
Speaker 1: What is this guy? He's a doctor? God, your voice.
7:42
Speaker 3: What is this guy?
7:43
Speaker 1: What are you talking about, Cedric? My name isn't Soundry,
7:47
Speaker 1: it's Hendry. Yeah, what are you talking about? I'm talking about,
7:49
Speaker 1: is this guy your doctor? He's a therapist. And he said,
7:52
Speaker 1: it sounds like a lot of fun, you demanding that people... Mr.
7:55
Speaker 3: Henry, at the end of the day, our demands amount
7:58
Speaker 3: to this. Look at the rear end of the Badoo,
8:00
Speaker 3: lower your eyes, or you'll get the phone call.
8:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, you'll get the phone call, then we'll hang up
8:05
Speaker 1: on you. All you guys are trying to do is
8:08
Speaker 1: intimidate and scare people.
8:09
Speaker 3: No, we're not.
8:10
Speaker 1: Yes, you are, because you're not following it up with anything,
8:13
Speaker 1: because you legally can't follow it up with anything. You know,
8:15
Speaker 1: somebody's going to sue you for harassment. Oh, my God,
8:19
Speaker 1: how come? All we're doing is calling them and hanging up.
8:22
Speaker 1: I would recommend you stop doing that. If you see
8:25
Speaker 1: people who are not acknowledging the Badoo's high rear end... God,
8:31
Speaker 1: you were reluctant to say anything. You were going to
8:33
Speaker 1: say the Badoo's high, stupid-looking ass. No, I was not
8:38
Speaker 1: going to say that. I was going to use the
8:40
Speaker 1: word ass instead. I said the high rear end.
8:42
Speaker 3: Well, it was going to be the HA, but... We
8:44
Speaker 3: were going to call it the high ass. But then
8:46
Speaker 3: people thought, but we were afraid that people would think
8:50
Speaker 3: that it was referring to me.
8:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, Bobby being the high ass. Yeah. Bobby, it's hard
8:54
Speaker 1: for me to believe that you are serious half the time,
8:56
Speaker 1: some of these things you come up with.
8:57
Speaker 3: We are an independent and original thinking homeowners association. We
9:02
Speaker 3: go the extra mile in improving the quality of life
9:05
Speaker 3: around here. And if we have a quasi-religious or, if
9:10
Speaker 3: you will, a quasi-spiritual symbol, a pagan, if you want
9:14
Speaker 3: to call it that, quasi-pagan symbol there at our main
9:18
Speaker 3: gate that we ask you to downcast your eyes and
9:22
Speaker 3: bow to. We are telling people this is a community,
9:27
Speaker 3: this is a quality community of people who respect the Badoo.
9:33
Speaker 1: You tell me.
9:34
Speaker 2: All right, there's Bobby Dooley. And Dooley went butch again. Yeah.
9:38
Speaker 2: I worship the Badoo. Give me the phone, will you?
9:41
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Phil.
9:41
Speaker 3: I get very, very angry when I think about people not,
9:44
Speaker 3: you know, worshipping the Bidu.
9:46
Speaker 1: I also have a song I want to sing. Before
9:49
Speaker 1: you sing the song, I want to get this very clear.
9:52
Speaker 1: You and Steve have got this topiary that is sculpted
9:56
Speaker 1: to look like your rear end in a pair of what?
9:59
Speaker 3: In a pair of capri pants.
10:03
Speaker 1: Yeah.
10:03
Speaker 2: Okay.
10:04
Speaker 1: And people should turn and nod to it as a
10:08
Speaker 1: way of respecting all of the efforts that you make
10:10
Speaker 1: on behalf of Western Estates, including the physically good shape
10:14
Speaker 1: your body's in. Yes.
10:15
Speaker 2: Okay.
10:17
Speaker 1: And if people don't do that, you call their house.
10:19
Speaker 2: And hang up.
10:20
Speaker 1: Yeah.
10:21
Speaker 3: See, even you're laughing.
10:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, it is kind of stupid. Well, that's what
10:25
Speaker 1: we do. All we do is we call and hang up.
10:27
Speaker 1: Or sometimes they'll go, hello, and we'll go, the Badoo.
10:32
Speaker 1: The Badoo has spoken, and then we'll hang up. I
10:34
Speaker 1: bet you you're going to get sued. For what? For
10:36
Speaker 1: harassing people, man. That probably scares some people. Oh, they're fine.
10:42
Speaker 1: All right, so you had a song? Yes, well, this
10:45
Speaker 1: was a song that I had written... But it was
10:50
Speaker 1: not for broadcast, so I changed the words. It's about
10:54
Speaker 1: Mount Goblin, because, you know, Phil, I've taken a lot
10:55
Speaker 1: of pictures up on the Gob. On Mount Goblin? Yes.
11:00
Speaker 1: And the song goes like this. It's to the tune
11:03
Speaker 1: of Oh, Susanna. Well, I look at old Mount Goblin
11:07
Speaker 1: and a tear comes to my eye. I should hope I.
11:10
Speaker 3: Do done live there well before the day I die. Oh,
11:14
Speaker 3: Mount Goblin, it's like at our first dance. My husband
11:18
Speaker 3: Steve first saw me and a swelling formed in his pants.
11:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you think of the mystery? Yeah, it's
11:24
Speaker 1: crude and stupid. What are you talking about? What do
11:28
Speaker 1: you mean? You're talking about Steve seeing you and getting
11:31
Speaker 1: an erection. Bobby, don't you understand that stuff is offensive
11:34
Speaker 1: for some people? We're celebrating our love and you make
11:40
Speaker 1: fun of it.
11:41
Speaker 2: Oh, give me a break.
11:43
Speaker 1: I hope I live like at our first dance when
11:45
Speaker 1: a swelling appeared in his pants. Yeah, exactly. If more people,
11:50
Speaker 1: more women celebrated that initial, you know, that initial bulge
11:54
Speaker 1: that formed in a man's pants. I got to believe
11:58
Speaker 1: you guys are kidding.
11:59
Speaker 3: Sort of.
12:00
Speaker 1: Okay, Bobby, thank you very much. I hope you get sued.
12:04
Speaker 1: Bobby Dooley on the world famous Phil Henry show.
12:07
Speaker 2: This is Dr.
12:08
Speaker 1: Jim Sadler.
12:09
Speaker 4: I've not often been asked to do a promotion for
12:12
Speaker 4: the Phil Henry Show Backstage Pass because I feel in
12:16
Speaker 4: some instances he has made fun of me and tries
12:21
Speaker 4: to act like the big shot even though I'm his
12:23
Speaker 4: doctor and I've had my finger up his ass.
12:25
Speaker 1: What do you think about that?
12:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, will you do it, doctor?
12:27
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'll take it from here, okay? The world famous
12:31
Speaker 1: Phil Henry Show.
12:32
Speaker 2: No, if you ask me to do it, I'm going
12:33
Speaker 2: to do it. Yeah, let him do it.
12:35
Speaker 1: Might as well let him do it, Phil.
12:36
Speaker 2: I'm only kidding about that.
12:38
Speaker 1: I'm not a urologist.
12:38
Speaker 2: But Mr.
12:39
Speaker 4: Henry has come to me from time to time, about
12:42
Speaker 4: certain physical maladies, and some of them have been down there.
12:46
Speaker 1: I'm telling you.
12:48
Speaker 2: I'm joking about that.
12:49
Speaker 4: Get a backstage pass to the world-famous Phil Henry Show,
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Speaker 4: digital content, but you'll also hear the Dr. Jim Sadler Show,
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Speaker 4: the Times What I'm On, Mr. Henry's Show, and different
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Speaker 4: medical advice that I was able to disperse and to
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Speaker 4: disseminate among the Phil Henry Show listeners.
13:11
Speaker 1: I'm Dr.
13:11
Speaker 2: Jim Sadler.
13:12
Speaker 4: My practice is in San Diego, and I've.
13:15
Speaker 1: Dealt with it all. I mean, every kind of drip. Yeah,
13:19
Speaker 1: you sure have. That's right.
13:21
Speaker 2: That's right.
13:22
Speaker 1: That's what I get.
13:23
Speaker 4: When I'm on Phil's show, I immediately, when it goes
13:26
Speaker 4: off the air, I immediately start getting the phone calls
13:28
Speaker 4: from the Henry audience. The drip, the Chinese itch, the
13:33
Speaker 4: Egyptian fever, the five-day trot.
13:37
Speaker 1: Get a backstage pass to the world-famous Phil Henry Show
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Speaker 1: and hear more from Dr. Jim Sadler and others. The
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Speaker 1: Ted We're doing Big Ted. There's certain things that are
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14:29
Speaker 1: Ted on the half shell. Some things that disturb me,
14:32
Speaker 1: but we're going to go ahead with them. What disturbs you? Well,
14:36
Speaker 1: I don't particularly like hearing people say, yeah, give me
14:38
Speaker 1: the Big Ted. And some people are looking at me.
14:42
Speaker 2: Well, what are you afraid they're seeing? Do you think
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Speaker 2: it's crude?
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Speaker 1: Some people, yeah, yeah. Big Ted. Like, it sounds like
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Speaker 1: I'm taking it in the air. Ted, watch it, man.
14:52
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, did that go out? Yes, that went out. Oh, sorry.
14:55
Speaker 1: I apologize. Okay. My understanding is, and I just talked
14:58
Speaker 1: to the Doolies, that you, the Doolies, in my opinion,
15:02
Speaker 1: already have themselves in hot water because they may get
15:04
Speaker 1: sued by their homeowners. Were you contemplating a suit? No,
15:08
Speaker 1: not so much. I want an explanation. I got my
15:10
Speaker 1: attorney in touch with your Mr. Warm. You know, my
15:12
Speaker 1: guy is Frank Gray. And Frank and Harvey have been
15:15
Speaker 1: going back and forth with phone calls about what this,
15:18
Speaker 1: the duallys with the Spook-O-Rama, you know, because we've been
15:21
Speaker 1: doing Ted-O-Ween now for about six years. All right, Spook-O-Rama,
15:24
Speaker 1: you've seen it similar? I don't know. They're telling me
15:27
Speaker 1: that this is about them going into a guy's house
15:29
Speaker 1: and scaring people half to death. And if they don't scream,
15:32
Speaker 1: then they win a prize. And so far, everyone has
15:35
Speaker 1: screamed bloody murder. They're sneaking into houses, scaring people, you know,
15:40
Speaker 1: and so they don't have to give away a prize.
15:42
Speaker 1: In the meantime, I'm over here at Ted's in Beverly
15:45
Speaker 1: Hills doing Tedoween. I'm screaming my guts out. I'm dressed
15:48
Speaker 1: as Dracula. I got fake blood come out of my fangs.
15:52
Speaker 1: And no one gets scared, right? Not yet, no. And
15:56
Speaker 1: you're doing nothing but giving away dinners. And so there's
15:59
Speaker 1: two things here. The Dooley's have got this spook-a-rama that
16:03
Speaker 1: makes me look like a monkey on a chain, and
16:05
Speaker 1: then they've got the fact that I'm still struggling with
16:07
Speaker 1: Tatooine to get people scared, even though the new thing
16:11
Speaker 1: I'm going to come out with, this Tatooine, I'm going
16:14
Speaker 1: to have fake skin like it's hanging off my face. Well,
16:18
Speaker 1: who's doing that? A makeup artist? Yes. As a matter
16:21
Speaker 1: of fact, we got Anita Tuzel. She's a professional. Hey,
16:24
Speaker 1: there you go. You better believe she's a professional. I'm
16:27
Speaker 1: going to come leaping out from behind that curtain with
16:30
Speaker 1: my face peeling off. And they also got some of
16:33
Speaker 1: these red, you get those red contacts? Rudy's here. They
16:36
Speaker 1: got the red contacts, Mr. Henry. So, Mr. Bell's eyes, look,
16:41
Speaker 1: they're just bugged out. The red contacts make his eyes
16:47
Speaker 1: go just bugged out and frightening, like his eyes are
16:50
Speaker 1: going to explode. Yeah, okay. So we're playing to win here.
16:54
Speaker 2: Okay, but.
16:55
Speaker 1: Um, what is the problem when it comes to the Doolies? Well,
16:59
Speaker 1: the Doolies are over there making me look like a
17:01
Speaker 1: monkey on a vine as they're scaring the hell out
17:03
Speaker 1: of everybody. And I'm over here trying to do my best, screaming, Dracula.
17:09
Speaker 1: And you're not scaring anybody? No, we were giving away
17:11
Speaker 1: nothing but 300 dinners last year. I'm going to tell
17:14
Speaker 1: you right now, Phil, I want to give away maybe
17:16
Speaker 1: tops this year. Tops. Five dinners. Oh, you're going to
17:20
Speaker 1: have to really scare people, Ted. Well, they've got skin
17:23
Speaker 1: peeling off. The other thing that Anita's got up her
17:27
Speaker 1: sleeve is she's got like a fake hole in my throat,
17:29
Speaker 1: like you can see into my throat. She said she
17:31
Speaker 1: could do that, and she could also do it like
17:33
Speaker 1: there's blood coming out of my eyes, and there's a
17:36
Speaker 1: cleaver in my head. Well, Ted, you're pulling out the
17:38
Speaker 1: stops now. You better believe it, okay? She's got it
17:41
Speaker 1: so it'll look like I've got a meat cleaver driven
17:44
Speaker 1: through my head as I'm going, ah! Okay. All right,
17:49
Speaker 1: but can I ask you something? What? Well, Ted, what
17:53
Speaker 1: vampire continues to want to suck blood even though he's
17:56
Speaker 1: got a meat cleaver in his head?
17:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, at some point, the vampire is going
18:01
Speaker 2: to take the cleaver out.
18:01
Speaker 1: Say that again?
18:03
Speaker 2: At some point, the vampire will want to take out
18:06
Speaker 2: the cleaver.
18:08
Speaker 1: Take out the cleaver? Boy, there's a joke there, Phil. Yeah?
18:10
Speaker 1: What is it? It has to do with June Cleaver? Yeah.
18:12
Speaker 1: At some point, the vampire is going to want to
18:14
Speaker 1: call June Cleaver and take her out. Oh, brother. Phil,
18:19
Speaker 1: it's Rudy at Well, we're thinking that people won't have
18:23
Speaker 1: time to think about it. They won't have time to
18:24
Speaker 1: think about it. They'll see this cleaver sticking out of
18:26
Speaker 1: his head. They'll see the fake skin that's fallen off,
18:30
Speaker 1: and then the red eyeballs, and people will see that,
18:33
Speaker 1: and they'll be going, I'll have the fangs. Let me
18:36
Speaker 1: tell you what. Excuse my language, Phil, but they'll be
18:41
Speaker 1: scared shitless. Well, I mean, you were getting real serious
18:45
Speaker 1: with the duly successful Spook-O-Rama. I was getting very serious
18:49
Speaker 1: because I feel that they got their idea from me. No,
18:53
Speaker 1: I think Spook-O-Rama's been going on longer than Teddaween. Well,
18:57
Speaker 1: you know something? I'm going to make them prove that
18:59
Speaker 1: in court. But for the time being, all right, I'm
19:01
Speaker 1: not going to pull out the legal hatchet. I'm just
19:03
Speaker 1: going to have a more successful promotion, and I don't
19:05
Speaker 1: even know why I care.
19:07
Speaker 2: Well, that's it.
19:08
Speaker 1: It's a homeowners association out in the valley. You're a
19:10
Speaker 1: big-time restaurant in Beverly Hills. Why do you care? I
19:13
Speaker 1: don't know. Anybody that he looks seems as if they've
19:16
Speaker 1: got a leg up on him, if you'll pardon the expression.
19:21
Speaker 1: Anyone that looks as if they've got a leg, they're
19:23
Speaker 1: hanging a leg up on you as if they're going
19:25
Speaker 1: to relieve themselves all over you, you get pissed off.
19:27
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you? I don't think everything is a threat. Ted,
19:32
Speaker 1: like I said... It's a homeowners association. You're Ted Bell.
19:35
Speaker 1: I am Ted Bell, and I don't need some PTO
19:40
Speaker 1: and a little three-par putt-putt golf PTO, a little homeowners
19:47
Speaker 1: association out in West Hills or wherever that is. hell
19:50
Speaker 1: it is, coming up with a promotion where they're creeping
19:53
Speaker 1: into people's houses and scaring them into the grave. Well,
19:56
Speaker 1: they're not doing that, but they are scaring people. But
19:59
Speaker 1: the big thing is they're also facing their own kind
20:01
Speaker 1: of legal challenge now. Well, I would think so. Are
20:03
Speaker 1: they breaking into people's homes? No, she has a passkey. What? Yeah,
20:07
Speaker 1: that's what she's got, a passkey. Well, look, all right,
20:09
Speaker 1: so let's get back to Tedoween. Tedoween, coming up on
20:12
Speaker 1: Halloween night, you will be dressed as Dracula. I'll not
20:15
Speaker 1: only be dressed as Dracula, I'll have skin peeling off
20:18
Speaker 1: my face like I've just been in a fire. I'll
20:20
Speaker 1: have red contact lenses like my eyeballs are going to explode.
20:24
Speaker 1: I'm going to have a cleaver buried in my head. Okay,
20:27
Speaker 1: I'm going to have a lot of stuff, okay? And
20:30
Speaker 1: what was the other thing? You don't have a knife
20:32
Speaker 1: right through your crotch, right? Well, we don't have any
20:35
Speaker 1: kids here, so I guess it wouldn't matter. I'm going
20:37
Speaker 1: to have a knife, Phil, just stuck right in my crotch.
20:41
Speaker 1: You know, you would think about it. If you think
20:42
Speaker 1: about it, Phil, if a vampire attacked you, wouldn't you
20:44
Speaker 1: take a knife and try to stab it in the balls?
20:47
Speaker 1: All right, Ted, thank you very much. Thank you, Ted.
20:49
Speaker 1: I wish you the best of luck. That basically, in
20:56
Speaker 1: Phil Henry speak, that means, Ted, why don't you dry
20:59
Speaker 1: up and blow away? No, it doesn't.
21:02
Speaker 3: Yes, it does.
21:02
Speaker 2: No, it does not.
21:03
Speaker 1: I wish you the best. I wish you the best.
21:06
Speaker 1: You coming out here on Halloween? If we're not working, yeah.
21:09
Speaker 2: Go ahead. You got to check the schedule. We'll check
21:11
Speaker 2: the schedule.
21:11
Speaker 1: Yes, we will be out there. Okay, because I'm going
21:14
Speaker 1: to lay the Ted Wayne Dracula scream on you. I guarantee, Henry,
21:18
Speaker 1: you will run for your life. When you see me
21:21
Speaker 1: lay that, I lay that on you. It's not scary
21:25
Speaker 1: now because it's on the phone. But in person, it'll
21:28
Speaker 1: scare you half to death. I guarantee that. Okay, Ted,
21:33
Speaker 1: the best of luck, and we'll see you on Halloween night. Okay,
21:36
Speaker 1: you're seeing me. Ted Bell, folks, on the world-famous Phil
21:40
Speaker 1: Hendry Show. You know, there's a lot going on there.
21:42
Speaker 1: Bobby Dooley's going to get sued for that high-rare-end stuff.
21:45
Speaker 1: She's already in legal peril over the spook-o-rama. Now here
21:48
Speaker 1: comes Ted, who thinks she's stealing the idea from him,
21:50
Speaker 1: which she isn't. Ted's, he's doubling down. Yes, he is.
21:54
Speaker 1: He's doubling down with the makeup and the red eyeballs,
21:57
Speaker 1: a cleaver in his head and a knife through his crotch.
21:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's going to make everybody go, I don't know.
22:06
Speaker 1: He ought to just not do the promotion. You don't understand.
22:09
Speaker 1: For Ted, he sees that as a defeat. If he
22:12
Speaker 1: just suspends the promotion, he's lost. He doesn't want to
22:15
Speaker 1: give away any dinners. We'll see what happens. Ted Bell,
22:20
Speaker 1: the Doolies, on Halloween.
22:23
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
22:24
Speaker 1: The world-famous Phil Henry Show, executive produced by Phil Henry
22:29
Speaker 2: Yeah.
22:36
Speaker 1: On Podcast One.