Latest / The H. G. Wells Library / Tono-Bungay Book 2 Chapter 4 - Parts 1-3
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- 0:01Speaker 1: Book, second chapter, fourth Parts one to three of Tono Bungay.
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- 0:23Speaker 1: Bungay by H. G. Wells, Book, second chapter, fourth Parts
- 0:28Speaker 1: one to three, Chapter the fourth Marian One. As I
- 0:36Speaker 1: look back on those days in which we build up
- 0:38Speaker 1: the great Tono Bungay property out of human hope and
- 0:41Speaker 1: credit for bottles and rent and printing, I see my
- 0:44Speaker 1: life as it were arranged in two parallel columns of
- 0:47Speaker 1: unequal wid a wider, more diffused, eventful, and various one
- 0:52Speaker 1: which continually broadens out the business side of my life,
- 0:57Speaker 1: and a narrow, darker and darkling one, shot ever and
- 1:00Speaker 1: again with a gleam of happiness by home life with Marian.
- 1:05Speaker 1: For of course I married Marian. I did it, as
- 1:09Speaker 1: a matter of fact, marry her until a year after
- 1:11Speaker 1: Tono Bungay was thoroughly afloat, and then only after conflicts
- 1:16Speaker 1: and discussion of a quite strenuous sort. By that time
- 1:20Speaker 1: I was twenty four. It seems the next thing to
- 1:23Speaker 1: childhood now, we were both, in certain directions, unusually ignorant
- 1:28Speaker 1: and simple. We were temperamentally antagonistic, and we hadn't I
- 1:33Speaker 1: don't think we were capable of an idea in common.
- 1:37Speaker 1: She was young and extraordinarily conventional. She seemed never to
- 1:41Speaker 1: have an idea of her own, but always the idea
- 1:43Speaker 1: of her class. And I was young and skeptical, enterprising
- 1:48Speaker 1: and passionate. The two links that held us together were
- 1:52Speaker 1: the intense appeal her physical beauty had for me, and
- 1:55Speaker 1: her appreciation of her importance in my thoughts. There can
- 1:59Speaker 1: be no doubt my passion for her. In her I
- 2:02Speaker 1: had discovered woman desired the nights I have lain awake
- 2:06Speaker 1: on account of her writhing, biting my wrists in a
- 2:10Speaker 1: fever of longing. I have told how I got myself
- 2:14Speaker 1: a silk hat and black coat to please her on Sunday,
- 2:17Speaker 1: to the derision of some of my fellow students who
- 2:20Speaker 1: charged to meet me, and how we became engaged. But
- 2:23Speaker 1: that was only the beginning of our difference to her.
- 2:27Speaker 1: That meant the beginning of a not unpleasant little secrecy,
- 2:30Speaker 1: an occasional use of verbal endearments, perhaps even kisses. It
- 2:35Speaker 1: was something to go on indefinitely, interfering in no way
- 2:38Speaker 1: with her gossiping spells of work at Smithy's. To me,
- 2:42Speaker 1: it was a pledge to come together into the utmost
- 2:45Speaker 1: intimacy of soul and body so soon as we could
- 2:48Speaker 1: contrive it. I don't know if it will strike the
- 2:52Speaker 1: reader that I am setting out to discuss the queer
- 2:55Speaker 1: unwise love relationship and my bungle of a marriage with
- 2:58Speaker 1: excessive solemnity, But to me it seems to reach out
- 3:02Speaker 1: to vastly wider issues than our little personal affair. I've
- 3:06Speaker 1: thought over my life in these last few years. I've
- 3:10Speaker 1: tried to get at least a little wisdom out of it,
- 3:12Speaker 1: And in particular i've thought over this part of my life.
- 3:16Speaker 1: I am enormously impressed by the ignorant, unguided way in
- 3:20Speaker 1: which we two entangled ourselves with each other. It seems
- 3:23Speaker 1: to me the queerest thing in all this network of
- 3:26Speaker 1: misunderstandings and misstatements and faulty and ramshackle conventions which makes
- 3:32Speaker 1: up our social order as the individual meets it, that
- 3:35Speaker 1: we should have come together so accidentally and so blindly,
- 3:40Speaker 1: because we were no more than samples of the common fate.
- 3:43Speaker 1: Love is not only the cardinal fact in the individual life,
- 3:47Speaker 1: but the most important concern of the community. After all,
- 3:51Speaker 1: the way in which the young people of this generation
- 3:53Speaker 1: pair off determines the fate of the nation. All the
- 3:57Speaker 1: other affairs of the state are subsidiary to that. And
- 4:01Speaker 1: we leave it to flushed and blundering youth to stumble
- 4:04Speaker 1: on its own significance, with nothing to guide in but
- 4:08Speaker 1: shocked looks and sentimental twaddle and base whisperings and can't
- 4:12Speaker 1: speared examples. I have tried to indicate something of my
- 4:17Speaker 1: own sexual development in the preceding chapter. Nobody was ever
- 4:21Speaker 1: frank and decent with me in this relation. Nobody, no
- 4:25Speaker 1: book ever came and said to me, thus and thus
- 4:28Speaker 1: is the world made, and so and so is necessary.
- 4:33Speaker 1: Everything came obscurely, indefinitely, perplexingly, and all I knew of
- 4:38Speaker 1: law or convention in the matter had the form of
- 4:41Speaker 1: threatenings and prohibitions. Except through the furtive, shameful talk of
- 4:45Speaker 1: my coevals at Goudhurst and Wimblehurst, I was not even
- 4:50Speaker 1: worn against quite horrible dangers. My ideas were made partly
- 4:54Speaker 1: of instinct, partly of a romantic imagination, partly woven out
- 4:58Speaker 1: of a medley of scraps of signs congestion that came to
- 5:01Speaker 1: me haphazard. I had read widely and confusedly Vathek Shelley,
- 5:07Speaker 1: Tom Payne, Plutarch, Carlyle Heckel, William Morris, the Bible, the Freethinker,
- 5:15Speaker 1: the Clarion, the woman who did I mentioned the ingredients
- 5:19Speaker 1: that come first to mind. All sorts of ideas were
- 5:22Speaker 1: jumbled up in me at never elucid explanation. But it
- 5:26Speaker 1: was evident to me that the world regarded Shelley, for example,
- 5:30Speaker 1: as a very heroic as well as beautiful person, and
- 5:33Speaker 1: that to defy convention and succumb magnificently to passion was
- 5:37Speaker 1: a proper thing to do to gain the respect and
- 5:40Speaker 1: affection of all decent people. And the make up of
- 5:44Speaker 1: Marian's mind in the matter was an equally irrational affair.
- 5:48Speaker 1: Her training had been one not simply of silences but suppressions.
- 5:53Speaker 1: An enormous force of suggestion had so shaped her that
- 5:56Speaker 1: the intense natural fastidiousness of girlhood had developed into an
- 6:00Speaker 1: absolute perversion of instinct. For all that, as cardinal in
- 6:05Speaker 1: this essential business of life, she had one inseparable epithet horrid.
- 6:11Speaker 1: Without any such training, she would have been a shy lover,
- 6:15Speaker 1: but now she was an impossible one. For the rest
- 6:19Speaker 1: she had derived, I suppose, partly from the sort of
- 6:22Speaker 1: fiction she got from the public library, and partly from
- 6:26Speaker 1: the work room talk at Smithy's. So far as the
- 6:29Speaker 1: former origin went, she had an idea of love as
- 6:32Speaker 1: a state of worship and service on the part of
- 6:35Speaker 1: the man, and of condescension on the part of the woman.
- 6:39Speaker 1: There was nothing horrid about it in any fiction she
- 6:41Speaker 1: had read. The man gave presents, did services, sought to
- 6:46Speaker 1: be in every way delightful. The woman went out with him,
- 6:50Speaker 1: smiled at him, was kissed by him in decorous secrecy,
- 6:55Speaker 1: and if he chanced to offend, denied her countenance and presence.
- 7:00Speaker 1: Usually she did something for his good to him, made
- 7:03Speaker 1: him go to church, made him give up smoking or gambling,
- 7:07Speaker 1: smartened him up quite At the end of the story
- 7:10Speaker 1: came a marriage, and after that the interest ceased. That
- 7:15Speaker 1: was the tenor of Marian's fiction, But I think the
- 7:17Speaker 1: work table conversation at Smithy's did something to modify that.
- 7:22Speaker 1: At Smithy's it was recognized. I think that a fellow
- 7:26Speaker 1: was a possession to be desired, that it was better
- 7:29Speaker 1: to be engaged to a fellow than not, that fellows
- 7:32Speaker 1: had to be kept, they might be mislaid, they might
- 7:35Speaker 1: even be stolen. There was a case of stealing at Smithy's,
- 7:39Speaker 1: and many tears. Smithy I met before we were married,
- 7:45Speaker 1: and afterwards she became a frequent visitor to our house
- 7:47Speaker 1: at ealing. She was a thin, bright colored, hawk nosed
- 7:51Speaker 1: girl of thirty odd with prominent teeth, a high pitched,
- 7:55Speaker 1: eager voice, and a disposition to be urgently smart in
- 7:58Speaker 1: her dress, her hats were startling and various, but invariably disconcerting,
- 8:04Speaker 1: and she talked in a rapid, nervous flow that was
- 8:07Speaker 1: hilarious rather than witty, and broken by little screams of
- 8:11Speaker 1: oh my dear, and you never did. She was the
- 8:15Speaker 1: first woman I ever met who used scent. Poor old Smithy.
- 8:19Speaker 1: What a harmless, kindly soul she really was, and how
- 8:23Speaker 1: heartily I detested her Out of the prophets on the
- 8:27Speaker 1: Persian robes. She supported a sister's family of three children,
- 8:31Speaker 1: She helped a worthless brother, and overflowed in help even
- 8:34Speaker 1: to her work girls. But that didn't weigh with me
- 8:37Speaker 1: in those youthfully narrow times. It was one of the
- 8:40Speaker 1: intense minor irritations of my married life that Smithy's whirlwind
- 8:45Speaker 1: chatter seemed to me to have far more influence with
- 8:47Speaker 1: Marian than anything I had to say before all things.
- 8:52Speaker 1: I coveted her grip upon Marian's inaccessible mind. In the
- 8:56Speaker 1: work room at Smithy's, I gathered they always spoke of
- 9:00Speaker 1: me demurely as a certain person. I was rumored to
- 9:04Speaker 1: be dreadfully clever, and there were doubts, not altogether without
- 9:08Speaker 1: justification of the sweetness of my temper. Two well, these
- 9:14Speaker 1: general explanations will enable the reader to understand the distressful
- 9:18Speaker 1: times we two had together when presently I began to
- 9:22Speaker 1: feel on a footing with Marian and to fumble conversationally
- 9:25Speaker 1: for the mind and the wonderful passion I felt, obstinately
- 9:29Speaker 1: and stupidly must be in her. I think she thought
- 9:33Speaker 1: me the maddest of sane men, clever in fact, which
- 9:36Speaker 1: at Smithe's was. I suppose the next thing to insanity,
- 9:40Speaker 1: a word intimating incomprehensible and incalculable motives. She could be
- 9:46Speaker 1: shocked at anything. She misunderstood everything, and her weapon was
- 9:50Speaker 1: a sulky silence that knitted her brows, spoiled her mouth,
- 9:54Speaker 1: and robbed her face of beauty. Well, if we can't agree,
- 9:58Speaker 1: I don't see why you should go on talking, She
- 10:01Speaker 1: used to say. That would always enrage me beyond measure.
- 10:05Speaker 1: Or I'm afraid I'm not clever enough to understand that
- 10:09Speaker 1: silly little people. I see it all now, But then
- 10:13Speaker 1: I was no older than she, and I couldn't see
- 10:16Speaker 1: anything but that Marian, for some inexplicable reason, wouldn't come alive.
- 10:21Speaker 1: We would contrive semi surreptitious walks on Sunday and part
- 10:26Speaker 1: speechless with the anger of indefinable offenses. Poor Marian, the
- 10:31Speaker 1: things I tried to put before her, my fermenting ideas
- 10:34Speaker 1: about theology, about socialism, about esthetics, the very words appalled her,
- 10:40Speaker 1: gave her the faint chill of approaching impropriety, the terror
- 10:44Speaker 1: of a very present intellectual impossibility. Then, by an enormous effort,
- 10:50Speaker 1: I would suppress myself for a time and continue a
- 10:53Speaker 1: talk that made her happy, about Smithy's brother, about the
- 10:57Speaker 1: new girl who had come to the work room, about
- 10:59Speaker 1: the house we would presently live in. But there we
- 11:03Speaker 1: differed a little. I wanted to be accessible to Saint
- 11:06Speaker 1: Paul's or Cannon Street station, and she had set her
- 11:10Speaker 1: mind quite resolutely upon eating. It wasn't by any means
- 11:14Speaker 1: quarreling all the time. You understand. She liked me to
- 11:17Speaker 1: play the lover nicely. She liked the effect of going about.
- 11:21Speaker 1: We had lunches. We went to Earl's Court to queue
- 11:25Speaker 1: to theaters and concerts, but not often to concerts, because
- 11:29Speaker 1: though Marian liked music, she didn't like too much of
- 11:32Speaker 1: it to picture shows and there was a nonsensical sort
- 11:36Speaker 1: of baby talk I picked up. I forget where. Now
- 11:40Speaker 1: that became a mighty peacemaker. Her worst offense for me
- 11:44Speaker 1: was an occasional excursion into the Smithy style of dressing
- 11:48Speaker 1: debased west Kensington, for she had no sense at all
- 11:51Speaker 1: of her own beauty. She had no comprehension whatever of
- 11:54Speaker 1: beauty of the body, and she could slash her beautiful
- 11:57Speaker 1: lines to rags with hat brims and trimmings. Thank Heaven,
- 12:02Speaker 1: A natural refinement, a natural timidity, and her extremely slender
- 12:07Speaker 1: purse kept her from the real Smithy efflorescence. Poor, simple, beautiful,
- 12:13Speaker 1: kindly limited Marian. Now that I am forty five, I
- 12:17Speaker 1: can look back at her with all my old admiration
- 12:20Speaker 1: and none of my old bitterness, with a new affection
- 12:23Speaker 1: and not a scrap of passion, and take her part
- 12:26Speaker 1: against the equally stupid, drivingly energetic, sensuous, intellectual sprawl I
- 12:31Speaker 1: used to be. I was a young beast for her
- 12:34Speaker 1: to have married a hound beast with her, it was
- 12:38Speaker 1: my business to understand and control, and I exacted fellowship passion.
- 12:44Speaker 1: We became engaged, as I have told, we broke it
- 12:47Speaker 1: off and joined again. We went through a succession of
- 12:50Speaker 1: such phases. We had no sort of idea what was
- 12:54Speaker 1: wrong with us. Presently we were formally engaged. I had
- 12:58Speaker 1: a wonderful interview with her father, in which she was
- 13:01Speaker 1: stupendously grave and h less, wanted to know about my origins,
- 13:07Speaker 1: and was tolerant, exasperatingly tolerant because my mother was a servant.
- 13:12Speaker 1: And afterwards her mother took to kissing me, and I
- 13:16Speaker 1: bought a ring. But the speechless aunt I gathered didn't approve,
- 13:21Speaker 1: having doubts of my religiosity. Whenever we were estranged, we
- 13:26Speaker 1: could keep apart for days, And to begin with, every
- 13:29Speaker 1: such separation was a relief and then I would want her.
- 13:33Speaker 1: A restless longing would come upon me. I would think
- 13:36Speaker 1: of the flow of her arms, of the soft, gracious
- 13:39Speaker 1: bend of her body. I would lie awake or dream
- 13:42Speaker 1: of a transfigured Marian of light and fire. It was
- 13:45Speaker 1: indeed Dame Nature driving me on to womankind in her stupid,
- 13:49Speaker 1: inexorable way. But I thought it was the need of
- 13:53Speaker 1: Marian that troubled me. So I always went back to
- 13:56Speaker 1: Marian at last and made it up, and more or
- 13:59Speaker 1: less concealed or ignored whatever thing had parted us. And
- 14:03Speaker 1: more and more I urged her to marry me. In
- 14:07Speaker 1: the long run, that became a fixed idea. It entangled
- 14:11Speaker 1: my will and my pride. I told myself I was
- 14:14Speaker 1: not going to be beaten. I hardened to the business.
- 14:18Speaker 1: I think, as a matter of fact, my real passion
- 14:20Speaker 1: for Marian had waned enormously long before we were married.
- 14:24Speaker 1: That she had lived down by sheer irresponsiveness. When I
- 14:29Speaker 1: felt sure of my three hundred a year, she stipulated
- 14:32Speaker 1: for delay, twelve months delay to see how things would
- 14:35Speaker 1: turn out. There were times when she seemed simply an antagonist,
- 14:40Speaker 1: holding out irritatingly against something I had to settle. Moreover,
- 14:44Speaker 1: I began to be greatly distracted by the interest and
- 14:48Speaker 1: excitement of Tono Bungay's success, by the change and movement
- 14:52Speaker 1: in things, the going to and fro. I would forget
- 14:56Speaker 1: her for days together, and then desire her with an
- 14:59Speaker 1: I I retaining intensity. At last, one Saturday afternoon, after
- 15:04Speaker 1: a brooding morning, I determined almost savagely that these delays
- 15:08Speaker 1: must end. I went off to the little home at
- 15:12Speaker 1: Wallam Green and made Marian come with me to Putney Common.
- 15:16Speaker 1: Marian wasn't at home when I got there, and I
- 15:19Speaker 1: had to fret for a time and talk to her father,
- 15:22Speaker 1: who was just back from his office. He explained and
- 15:25Speaker 1: enjoying himself in his own way in the greenhouse, I'm
- 15:29Speaker 1: going to ask your daughter to marry me, I said.
- 15:33Speaker 1: I think we've been waiting long enough. I don't approve
- 15:37Speaker 1: of long engagements either, said her father. But Marian will
- 15:41Speaker 1: have her own way about it anyhow, seen this new
- 15:44Speaker 1: powdered fertilizer, I went in to talk to missus Ramboat.
- 15:49Speaker 1: She'll want time to get her things, said missus Ramboat.
- 15:53Speaker 1: I and Marian sat down together on a little seat
- 15:56Speaker 1: under some trees at the top of Putney Hill, and
- 15:59Speaker 1: I came to my point abruptly. Look here, Marian, I said,
- 16:03Speaker 1: are you going to marry me? Or are you not?
- 16:07Speaker 1: She smiled at me. Well, she said, we're engaged, aren't we.
- 16:13Speaker 1: That can't go on forever? Will you marry me next week?
- 16:17Speaker 1: She looked at me in the face. We can't, she said,
- 16:23Speaker 1: you promised to marry me when I had three hundred
- 16:25Speaker 1: a year. She was silent for a space. Can't we
- 16:29Speaker 1: go on for a time as we are? We could
- 16:32Speaker 1: marry on three hundred a year, but it means a
- 16:35Speaker 1: very little house. There's Smithy's brother. They manage on two
- 16:39Speaker 1: hundred and fifty. But that's very little, she says. They
- 16:43Speaker 1: have a semi detached house, almost on the road, and
- 16:46Speaker 1: hardly a bit of garden, and the wall to next
- 16:49Speaker 1: door is so thin they hear everything. When her baby cries,
- 16:53Speaker 1: they rap, and people stand against the railings and talk.
- 16:57Speaker 1: Can't we wait? You're doing so well? An extraordinary bitterness
- 17:03Speaker 1: possessed me at this invasion of the stupendous, beautiful business
- 17:06Speaker 1: of love by sordid necessity. I answered her with immense restraint.
- 17:12Speaker 1: If I said we could have a double fronted detached
- 17:16Speaker 1: house at ealing say, with a square patch of lawn
- 17:20Speaker 1: in front and a garden behind, and and a tiled bathroom,
- 17:26Speaker 1: there would be sixty pounds a year at least, which
- 17:29Speaker 1: means five hundred a year. Yes, well, you see, I
- 17:34Speaker 1: told my uncle I wanted that, and I've got it,
- 17:38Speaker 1: got what five hundred pounds a year? Five hundred pounds?
- 17:44Speaker 1: I burst into laughter that had more than a taste
- 17:46Speaker 1: of bitterness. Yes, I said, really, And now what do
- 17:51Speaker 1: you think? Yes, she said, a little flushed, but be sensible.
- 17:56Speaker 1: Do you really mean you've got a rise all at
- 17:59Speaker 1: once of two hundred a year to Marianne? Yes, she
- 18:05Speaker 1: scrutinized me a moment. You've done this as a surprise,
- 18:09Speaker 1: she said, and laughed at my laughter. She had become radiant,
- 18:13Speaker 1: and that made me radiant too, Yes, I said, yes,
- 18:18Speaker 1: and laughed no longer bitterly. She clasped her hands and
- 18:22Speaker 1: looked me in the eyes. She was so pleased that
- 18:25Speaker 1: I forgot absolutely my disgust of a moment before, I
- 18:28Speaker 1: forgot that she had raised her price two hundred pounds
- 18:31Speaker 1: a year, and that I had bought her at that come,
- 18:35Speaker 1: I said, standing up, let's go towards the sunset, dear,
- 18:38Speaker 1: and talk about it all. Do you know this is
- 18:41Speaker 1: a most beautiful world, an amazingly beautiful world. And when
- 18:45Speaker 1: the sunset falls upon you, it makes you into shining gold,
- 18:49Speaker 1: no not gold, into golden glass, into something better than
- 18:54Speaker 1: either glass or gold. And for all that evening I
- 18:59Speaker 1: wooed her and glad she made me repeat my assurances
- 19:03Speaker 1: over again, and still doubted a little. We furnished a
- 19:07Speaker 1: double fronted house from attic and ran to an attic
- 19:10Speaker 1: to sell her, and created a garden. Do you know
- 19:14Speaker 1: Pampa's grass, said Marian, I love Pampa's grass. If there
- 19:19Speaker 1: is room, you shall have pampas grass, I declared. And
- 19:24Speaker 1: there were moments, as we would in imagination about that
- 19:27Speaker 1: house together, when my whole being cried out to take
- 19:29Speaker 1: her in my arms now, But I refrained on that
- 19:34Speaker 1: aspect of life. I touched very lightly in that talk,
- 19:38Speaker 1: very lightly, because I had had my lessons. She promised
- 19:41Speaker 1: to marry me within two months time. Shyly, reluctantly she
- 19:46Speaker 1: named a day, and next afternoon, in heat and wrath,
- 19:50Speaker 1: we broke it off again for the last time. We
- 19:54Speaker 1: split upon procedure. I refused flatly to have a normal wedding,
- 19:58Speaker 1: with wedding cake, in white favors, carriages and the rest
- 20:02Speaker 1: of it. It dawned upon me suddenly, in conversation with
- 20:06Speaker 1: her and her mother that this was implied. I blurted
- 20:09Speaker 1: out my objection forthwith, And this time it wasn't any
- 20:13Speaker 1: ordinary difference of opinion. It was a row. I don't
- 20:17Speaker 1: remember a quarter of the things we flung out in
- 20:19Speaker 1: that dispute. I remember her mother reiterating in tones of
- 20:23Speaker 1: gentle remonstrance. But George, dear, you must have a cake
- 20:28Speaker 1: to send home. I think we all reiterated things. I
- 20:32Speaker 1: seem to remember a refrain of my own. A marriage
- 20:35Speaker 1: is too sacred, a thing, too private, a thing for
- 20:37Speaker 1: this display. Her father came in and stood behind me
- 20:41Speaker 1: against the wall, and her aunt appeared beside the sideboard
- 20:44Speaker 1: and stood with arms, looking from speaker to speaker, a
- 20:48Speaker 1: sternly gratified prophetess. It didn't occur to me then how
- 20:52Speaker 1: painful it was to Marian for these people to witness
- 20:55Speaker 1: my rebellion. But George said, her father was so of marriage.
- 21:00Speaker 1: Do you want you don't want to go to one
- 21:03Speaker 1: of those there registry offices? That's exactly what I like
- 21:07Speaker 1: to do. Marriage is too private, a thing I shouldn't
- 21:12Speaker 1: feel married, said missus Rambot. Look here, Marian, I said,
- 21:17Speaker 1: we are going to be married at a registry office.
- 21:20Speaker 1: I don't believe in all these fripperies and superstitions, and
- 21:23Speaker 1: I don't submit to them. I've agreed to all sorts
- 21:27Speaker 1: of things to please you. What's he agreed to? Said
- 21:30Speaker 1: her father, unheeded. I can't marry at a registry office,
- 21:35Speaker 1: said Marian sallow white. Very well, I said, I'll marry
- 21:41Speaker 1: nowhere else. I can't marry at a registry office, very well,
- 21:46Speaker 1: I said, standing up, white and tense, and it amazed me,
- 21:50Speaker 1: but I was also exalted. Then we won't marry at all.
- 21:56Speaker 1: She leaned forward over the table, staring blankly, but presently
- 22:00Speaker 1: her half averted face began to haunt me as she
- 22:03Speaker 1: had sat at the table, and her arm and the
- 22:05Speaker 1: long droop of her shoulder. Three the next day, I
- 22:11Speaker 1: did an unexampled thing. I sent a telegram to my
- 22:14Speaker 1: uncle bad Temper not coming to business, and set off
- 22:18Speaker 1: for Highgate and Ewart. He was actually at work on
- 22:23Speaker 1: a bust of Milly and seemed very glad for my interruption. Ewart,
- 22:29Speaker 1: you old fool, I said, knock off, and come for
- 22:32Speaker 1: a day's gossip. I'm rotten. There's a sympathetic sort of
- 22:36Speaker 1: lunacy about you. Let's go to stains and paddle up
- 22:39Speaker 1: to Windsor, girl, said Ewart, putting down a chisel. Yes,
- 22:46Speaker 1: that was all I told him of my affair. I've
- 22:49Speaker 1: got no money, he remarked, to clear up ambiguity in
- 22:53Speaker 1: my invitation. We got a jar of shandy gaff, some food,
- 22:57Speaker 1: and on Ewart's suggestion to Japan any sunshades and stains,
- 23:02Speaker 1: we demanded extra cushions at the boat house, and we
- 23:04Speaker 1: spent an enormously soothing day in discourse and meditation, our
- 23:09Speaker 1: boat moored in a shady place this side of Windsor.
- 23:13Speaker 1: I seem to remember Ewart with a cushion forward, only
- 23:16Speaker 1: his heels and sunshade and some black ends of hair
- 23:19Speaker 1: showing a voice and no more against the shining, smoothly
- 23:24Speaker 1: streaming mirror of the trees and bushes. It's not worth,
- 23:28Speaker 1: it was the burthen of the voice. You'd better get
- 23:31Speaker 1: yourself a milly ponderevo, and then you wouldn't feel so upset,
- 23:37Speaker 1: No I said, decidedly, that's not my way. A thread
- 23:41Speaker 1: of smoke ascended from Eward for a while, like smoke
- 23:45Speaker 1: from an altar. Everything's a muddle, and you think it
- 23:48Speaker 1: isn't nobody knows where we are, because as a matter
- 23:52Speaker 1: of fact, we aren't anywhere. Are women property or are
- 23:56Speaker 1: they fellow creatures or a sort of proprietary goddess? They
- 24:01Speaker 1: are so obviously fellow creatures. You believe in the goddess. No,
- 24:06Speaker 1: I said, that's not my idea. What is your idea? Well,
- 24:12Speaker 1: hum said Ewart in my pause. My idea, I said,
- 24:17Speaker 1: is to meet one person who will belong to me,
- 24:20Speaker 1: to whom I shall belong body and soul. No half gods,
- 24:25Speaker 1: wait till she comes, if she comes at all, we
- 24:28Speaker 1: must come to each other, young and pure. There's no
- 24:32Speaker 1: such thing as a pure person or an impure person mixed.
- 24:36Speaker 1: To begin with, this was so manifestly true that it
- 24:40Speaker 1: silenced me altogether. And if you belong to her and
- 24:44Speaker 1: she to you, ponderrevo which ends the head? I mean
- 24:48Speaker 1: no answer except an impatient Oh. For a time we
- 24:53Speaker 1: smoked in silence. Did I tell you ponderrevo of a
- 24:57Speaker 1: wonderful discovery I've made. Ewert began presently. No, I said,
- 25:03Speaker 1: what is it? There's no missus Grundy. No, no, practically not.
- 25:11Speaker 1: I just thought all that business out. She's merely an instrument. Ponderevo.
- 25:16Speaker 1: She's borne the blame. Grundy's a man, Grundy unmasked, rather
- 25:21Speaker 1: lean and out of sorts, early middle age, with bunchy
- 25:25Speaker 1: black whiskers and a worried eye. Been good so far,
- 25:28Speaker 1: and it's fretting him moods. There's Grundy in a state
- 25:33Speaker 1: of sexual panic, for example, For God's sake, cover it up.
- 25:37Speaker 1: They get together, they get together. It's too exciting. The
- 25:41Speaker 1: most dreadful things are happening, rushing about, long arms, going
- 25:45Speaker 1: like a windmill. They must be kept apart. Starts out
- 25:50Speaker 1: for an absolute obliteration of everything, absolute separations, one side
- 25:55Speaker 1: of the road for men and the other for women,
- 25:57Speaker 1: and a hoarding without posters beach between them. Every boy
- 26:01Speaker 1: and girl to be sewed up in a sack and
- 26:03Speaker 1: sealed just ahead, and hands and feet out until twenty
- 26:07Speaker 1: one music abolished calico garments for the lower animals. Sparrows
- 26:13Speaker 1: to be suppressed absolutely, I laughed, abruptly. Well, that's mister
- 26:20Speaker 1: Grundy in one mood, and it puts missus Grundy. She's
- 26:24Speaker 1: a much maligned person. Ponderrevo a rake at heart, and
- 26:28Speaker 1: it puts her in a most painful state of fluster,
- 26:31Speaker 1: most painful. She's an amenable creature. When Grundy tells her
- 26:36Speaker 1: things are shocking, she's shocked, pink and breathless. She goes
- 26:40Speaker 1: about trying to conceal her profound sense of guilt behind
- 26:44Speaker 1: a haughty expression. Grundy, meanwhile, is in a state of
- 26:48Speaker 1: complete whirlabout long, lean, nugly hands, pointing and gesticulating. They're
- 26:55Speaker 1: still thinking of things, thinking of things. It's dreadful. They
- 26:59Speaker 1: get it out of books. I can't imagine where they
- 27:02Speaker 1: get it. I must watch. There are people over there whispering.
- 27:07Speaker 1: Nobody ought to whisper. There's something suggestive in the mere act.
- 27:12Speaker 1: Then pictures in the museum, things too dreadful for words.
- 27:17Speaker 1: Why can't we have pure art with the anatomy, all
- 27:20Speaker 1: wrong and pure and nice and pure fiction, pure poetry,
- 27:25Speaker 1: instead of all this stuff with allusions allusions? Excuse me,
- 27:31Speaker 1: there's something up behind that locked door, the key hole
- 27:35Speaker 1: in the interests of public morality. Yes, sir, as a
- 27:39Speaker 1: pure good man, I insist I'll look. It won't hurt me.
- 27:44Speaker 1: I insist on looking my duty. Hum the key hole.
- 27:50Speaker 1: He kicked his legs about extravagantly, and I laughed again.
- 27:54Speaker 1: That's Grundy in one mood, ponderevo. It isn't missus Grundy.
- 27:59Speaker 1: That's one of the lies we tell about women. They're
- 28:02Speaker 1: too simple. Simple women are simple. They take on just
- 28:07Speaker 1: what men tell em Eward meditated for a space, just
- 28:12Speaker 1: exactly as it's put to them, he said, and resumed
- 28:16Speaker 1: the moods of mister Grundy. Then you get old Grundy
- 28:20Speaker 1: in another mood. Ever caught him nosing, ponderevo, mad with
- 28:24Speaker 1: the idea of mysterious, unknown, wicked, delicious things, things that
- 28:29Speaker 1: aren't respectable, Wow, things he mustn't do. Anyone knows about
- 28:36Speaker 1: these things, knows. They's just as much mystery and deliciousness
- 28:39Speaker 1: about Grundy's forbidden things as there is about eating ham.
- 28:44Speaker 1: Jolly nice if it's a bright morning and you're well
- 28:47Speaker 1: and hungry and having breakfast in the open air. Jolly
- 28:51Speaker 1: unattractive if you're off color, but Grundy's covered it all
- 28:54Speaker 1: up and hidden it and put mucky shades and covers
- 28:58Speaker 1: over it until he's forgotten it. It begins to fester
- 29:02Speaker 1: round it in his mind, has dreadful struggles with himself
- 29:06Speaker 1: about impure thoughts. Then you set Grundy with hot ears,
- 29:11Speaker 1: curious in undertones, Grundy on the loose, Grundy in a
- 29:15Speaker 1: hoarse whisper, and with furtive eyes and convulsive movements making
- 29:19Speaker 1: things indecent, evolving in dense vapors indecency. Grundy sins, oh, yes,
- 29:27Speaker 1: he's a hypocrite, sneaks around a corner and sins ugly,
- 29:32Speaker 1: it's Grundy and his dark corners that make vice vice.
- 29:36Speaker 1: We artists, We have no vices. And then he's frantic
- 29:41Speaker 1: with repentance and wants to be cruel to fallen women,
- 29:44Speaker 1: add decent, harmless sculptures of the simple nude like me,
- 29:49Speaker 1: And so back to his panic again. Missus Grundy, I
- 29:53Speaker 1: suppose doesn't know, he sins, I remarked, no, I'm not
- 29:58Speaker 1: so sure, but bliss her heart. She's a woman, she's
- 30:02Speaker 1: a woman. Then again you get Grundy with a large,
- 30:06Speaker 1: greasy smile, like an accident to a butter tub. All
- 30:09Speaker 1: over his face, being liberal minded, Grundy in his anti
- 30:14Speaker 1: Puritan moments, trying not to see harm in it. Grundy,
- 30:19Speaker 1: the friend of innocent pleasure. He makes you sick with
- 30:22Speaker 1: the harm he's trying not to see in it, And
- 30:25Speaker 1: that's why everything's wrong, ponderevo. Grundy damn him stands in
- 30:31Speaker 1: the light, and we young people can't see. His moods
- 30:35Speaker 1: affect us. We catch his gusts of panic, his disease
- 30:39Speaker 1: of nosing, his greasiness. We don't know what we may think,
- 30:44Speaker 1: what we may say. He does his silly utmost to
- 30:47Speaker 1: prevent our reading and seeing the one thing, the one
- 30:50Speaker 1: sort of discussion we find quite naturally and properly supremely interesting,
- 30:57Speaker 1: So we don't adolescence, We blunder up to sex, dare
- 31:02Speaker 1: dare to look, and he may dirt you forever. The
- 31:06Speaker 1: girls are terror stricken to silence by his significant whiskers,
- 31:10Speaker 1: by the bleary something in his eyes. Suddenly, Ewart, with
- 31:15Speaker 1: an almost Jack in the box effect, sat up. He's
- 31:20Speaker 1: about us everywhere, ponderevo, he said, very solemnly. Sometimes sometimes
- 31:26Speaker 1: I think he is in our blood, in mine. He
- 31:31Speaker 1: regarded me for my opinion, very earnestly, with his pipe
- 31:35Speaker 1: in the corner of his mouth. You're the remotest cousin
- 31:39Speaker 1: he ever had, I said, I reflected, Look here, Ewart,
- 31:44Speaker 1: I asked, how would you have things different? He wrinkled
- 31:48Speaker 1: up his queer face, regarded the weight, and made his
- 31:51Speaker 1: pipe gurgle for a space, thinking deeply. There are implications,
- 31:56Speaker 1: I admit, we've grown up under the terror of Grundy
- 31:59Speaker 1: and that innocent madocile, and yes, formidable lady his wife.
- 32:05Speaker 1: I don't know how far the complications are a disease,
- 32:09Speaker 1: a sort of bleaching under the Grundy shadow. It is
- 32:13Speaker 1: possible there are things I have still to learn about women.
- 32:17Speaker 1: Man has eaten of the tree of knowledge. His innocence
- 32:21Speaker 1: is gone. You can't have your cake and eat it.
- 32:24Speaker 1: We're in for knowledge. Let's have it plained and straight.
- 32:28Speaker 1: I should begin, I think, by abolishing the ideas of
- 32:31Speaker 1: decency and indecency. Grundy would have fits, I injected, Grundy
- 32:37Speaker 1: Ponderevo would have cold douches publicly if the sight was
- 32:42Speaker 1: not too painful, three times a day. But I don't think,
- 32:46Speaker 1: mind you, that I should let the sexes run about together.
- 32:50Speaker 1: No The fact behind the sexes is sex. It's no
- 32:55Speaker 1: good humbugging. It trails about. Even in the best mixed
- 33:00Speaker 1: company tugs at your ankle, the men get showing off
- 33:04Speaker 1: and quarreling, and the women or their board. I suppose
- 33:09Speaker 1: the ancestral males have competed for the ancestral females ever
- 33:12Speaker 1: since they were both some sort of grubby little reptile.
- 33:16Speaker 1: You aren't going to alter that in a thousand years
- 33:19Speaker 1: or so. Never should you have a mixed company. Never
- 33:23Speaker 1: except with only one man or only one woman. How
- 33:26Speaker 1: would that be? Or duets only? How to manage it?
- 33:32Speaker 1: Some rule of etiquette? Perhaps he became portentously grave. Then
- 33:38Speaker 1: his long hand went out in weird gestures. I seem
- 33:42Speaker 1: to see. I seemed to see a sort of city
- 33:46Speaker 1: of women ponderrevo. Yes, a walled enclosure, a good stone
- 33:52Speaker 1: mason's work, a city wall high as the walls of Rome,
- 33:56Speaker 1: going about, a garden, dozens of square miles of garden, trees, fountains, arbors, lakes,
- 34:04Speaker 1: lawns on which the women play, avenues in which they gossip. Boats.
- 34:11Speaker 1: Women like that sort of thing. Any woman who's been
- 34:14Speaker 1: to a good, eventful girls school lives on the memory
- 34:17Speaker 1: of it for the rest of her life. It's one
- 34:20Speaker 1: of the pathetic things about women, the superiority of school
- 34:24Speaker 1: and college to anything they get afterwards. And this city,
- 34:29Speaker 1: garden of women, will have beautiful places for music, places
- 34:32Speaker 1: for beautiful dresses, places for beautiful work, everything a woman
- 34:37Speaker 1: can want, nurseries, kindergartens, schools, and no man except to
- 34:43Speaker 1: do rough work, perhaps ever comes in. The men live
- 34:47Speaker 1: in a world where they can hunt and engineer, invent
- 34:51Speaker 1: and mine and manufacture sail ships, drink deep and practice
- 34:56Speaker 1: the arts, and fight. Yes, I say, but he stilled
- 35:01Speaker 1: me with a gesture. I'm coming to that. The homes
- 35:05Speaker 1: of the women Ponderevo will be set in the wall
- 35:08Speaker 1: of their city. Each woman will have her own particular
- 35:11Speaker 1: house and home, furnished after her own heart, in her
- 35:14Speaker 1: own manner, with a little balcony on the outside wall
- 35:18Speaker 1: built into the wall, and a little balcony, and there
- 35:22Speaker 1: she will go and look out when the mood takes her.
- 35:25Speaker 1: And all round the city there will be a broad
- 35:28Speaker 1: road and seats and great shady trees, and men will
- 35:32Speaker 1: stroll up and down there when they feel the need
- 35:34Speaker 1: of feminine company, when for instance, they want to talk
- 35:38Speaker 1: about their souls, or their characters, or any of the
- 35:41Speaker 1: things that only women will stand. The women will lean
- 35:45Speaker 1: over and look at the men and smile and talk
- 35:47Speaker 1: to them as they fancy. And each woman will have this.
- 35:51Speaker 1: She will have a little silken ladder she can let
- 35:54Speaker 1: down if she chooses, if she wants to talk closer.
- 35:59Speaker 1: The men would still be competing there, perhaps, yes, but
- 36:03Speaker 1: they'd have to abide by the women's decisions. I raised
- 36:07Speaker 1: one or two difficulties, and for a while we played
- 36:10Speaker 1: with this idea. Ewert, I said, this is like Doll's island.
- 36:16Speaker 1: Suppose I reflected, an unsuccessful man laid siege to a
- 36:20Speaker 1: balcony and would let his rival come near it move
- 36:23Speaker 1: him on, said Ewert, by a special regulation, as one
- 36:27Speaker 1: does organ grinders. No difficulty about that, and you could
- 36:31Speaker 1: forbid it, make it against the etiquette. No life is
- 36:35Speaker 1: decent without etiquette, and people obey etiquette sooner than laws,
- 36:40Speaker 1: hum I said, and was struck by an idea that
- 36:44Speaker 1: is remote in the world of a young man. How
- 36:47Speaker 1: about children, I asked. In the city, girls are all
- 36:51Speaker 1: very well, but boys, for example, grow up, Ah, said Ewert. Yes,
- 36:57Speaker 1: I forgot they mustn't grow up in they'd turned out
- 37:01Speaker 1: the boys when they were seven. The father must come
- 37:04Speaker 1: with a little pony and a little gun, and manly weare,
- 37:08Speaker 1: and take the boy away. Then one could come afterwards
- 37:11Speaker 1: to one's mother's balcony. It must be fine to have
- 37:15Speaker 1: a mother, the father and the son. This is all
- 37:19Speaker 1: very pretty in its way, I said at last, But
- 37:22Speaker 1: it's a dream. Let's come back to reality. What I
- 37:25Speaker 1: want to know is, what are you going to do
- 37:28Speaker 1: in Brompton? Let us say or Walum Green? Now, oh
- 37:34Speaker 1: damn it, he remarked, Walum Green, what a chap you are? Ponderevo,
- 37:40Speaker 1: and he made an abrupt end to his discourse. He
- 37:43Speaker 1: wouldn't even reply to my tentatives for a time, while
- 37:47Speaker 1: I was just talking. Just now, he remarked, presently, I
- 37:51Speaker 1: had a quite different idea. What for a masterpiece? A
- 37:56Speaker 1: series like the busts of the Caesars, only not heads.
- 38:00Speaker 1: You know, we don't see the people who do things
- 38:02Speaker 1: to us nowadays. How will you do it? Then? Hands
- 38:07Speaker 1: a series of hands, the hands of the twentieth century.
- 38:11Speaker 1: I'll do it. Some day someone will discover it. Go there,
- 38:15Speaker 1: see what I have done, and what is meant by it?
- 38:20Speaker 1: See it where on the tombs? Why not the unknown
- 38:24Speaker 1: master of the Highgate slope, all the little, soft feminine hands,
- 38:29Speaker 1: the nervous ugly males, the hands of the flops, and
- 38:32Speaker 1: the hands of the snatchers, and Grundy's loose, lean, nuckley affair,
- 38:37Speaker 1: Grundy the terror, the little wrinkles, and the thumb. Only
- 38:42Speaker 1: it ought to hold all the others together in a
- 38:44Speaker 1: slightly disturbing squeeze, like Rodin's great hand. You know the thing.
- 38:52Speaker 1: End of book, second chapter, fourth parts one to three.
- 38:58Speaker 1: Recording by William tom Co