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Monday Mini: The Trouble with Complimenting Weight Loss · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I've Never told you production of I Heart Radio. Yeah,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: and welcome to another edition of Monday Many, where we
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: talk about all sorts of things, whether it is current
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: events and or our own emotions, in the current state
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: of our emotions, which can be good or bad or
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: sad or neither, I don't know. And before we start,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: we want to put a content warning here, nothing too deep,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: that's kind of deep. We go. We're gonna go everywhere,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: but we are going to talk a little bit about
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: eating disorders, uh, specifically mindsets when it comes to eating,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: as well as weight loss and weight gain and our
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: emotional state of being. So if that's not something you
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: want to listen to right now, skip on ahead it.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: But today we wanted to kind of revisit an older topic.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know it was for uh was it for
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Monday Many or was it for a Happy Hour? It was? Okay, y'all,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: it's all starting to blur. We do so many now,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: but we've had a whole discussion about eating and eating
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: disorders and just some of the stigma around just eating
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: point blank, how it affects you or how it could
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: be a part of your reaction to trauma past and
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: any You're really open, and you and I dug into
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: a few things about our own personal issues and our
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: thought processes and things that we're going through today even
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: and a lot of y'all reached out about some of
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: the personal experiences you had gone through and you feel
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: really strongly about it. And first of all, thank you
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: so much for reaching out to us and just being
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: so open. I can't tell you what a privilege it
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: is to feel like we're in the inner group with
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: you and someone that you can talk to as well
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: as someone who you can be open with and also
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: give us great advice. And as one of y'all said,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: there's nothing like solidarity, and it is as one of
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: the best ways to get through this. Thank you for
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: that and just again opening up to us about your experiences,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: because yeah, as a person who truly believes in that too,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: because I've gone so long isolating myself when it comes
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: to my emotions, my insecurities. Having people being so open
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: and willing to be vulnerable with us and allow us
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: to be vulnerable with you, that is a privilege and
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: we understand that and we value it so much. So
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: first and foremost get all the fields out and but
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: there was one thing that several of y'all talk to
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: us about, and it was this whole weirdness of people
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: needing to complement other people, specifically oftentimes with women about
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: their weight loss or just change in appearance. Um, and
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: that got me as I am someone who has always
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: struggled with their weight. That has always been an issue
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: for me coming into a white family already different, and
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: then feeling like an outsider not only from the white
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: culture of losing of being skinny, but the Asian culture
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: just culture in general of being skinny and I am
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: and I was a thick girl, um, and have had
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: a hard time trying to come to terms was with
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: just liking myself, not even loving myself, but liking myself
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: and my body image. It's something I finally come to
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: the point of being content with. So it's come to
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: man after about thirty eight it was kind of the Okay,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I understand this whole new go yourself over this moment
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: of not caring about other people's opinions. And don't get
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: me wrong, I still care about other people's opinions. If
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: you follow me on Twitter, I am very self deprecating,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: and I like to revel in all the bad reviews
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: we get, especially of my voice. I know I've stopped.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I've stopped since the last and uh, several of our
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: coworkers or friends have been like, stop reading the reviews,
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, Okay, you're right, You're right, but I
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: just need to know. I need to be validated. And
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: of course typically the only times we get reviews is
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: when they come to tell us how much they hate us,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: and we'll no longer listen to us. Thanks, but no,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: actually there's been also a lot of great reviews and
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: people are so kind as well. But for some reason,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I focus on the negative because that's my way of being,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: and you know, I think being that person. Of course,
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: self image is one of the things that I struggle with.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: And like I said, I finally come to a point
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: that I'm like, you know what I am, who I am.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: This is not a bad thing. I just need to
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: learn to appreciate and and and just enjoy what it
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: is um and be healthy. But again, like I said,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I still have the ups and downs. And not long ago,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: a few years ago was in fact, it came to
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: a point that I was really in a very depressed state. Um,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: it lasted a lot longer than typical, and as one
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: of our listeners had told me, very similar to her
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: experience of like going through a bad time in a relationship,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: it really hit me hard on top of another bad
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: time in my job state. Like there's so many things
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: that just piled on that I stopped eating. And it
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: wasn't because I wanted to, because I love food, y'all,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: but it was because I just felt nauseous and just
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: too sad to eat, so I would rather sleep or
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: do anything else essentially sleep. That's that's kind of how
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I would go. And I lost a lot of weight
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: during that short amount of time, like it was real quick,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: and of course originally I was really excited by that fact.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: It felt like an accomplishment. Uh. And I had this
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: weird echoonomy of being depressed but pleased because of me
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: losing weight, And of course it was unrealistic. I don't
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: want to be in a forever depressed state. That is
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: not who I am. Yes I get there, and yes
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  Speaker 1: I'll revel in it sometimes just because I need to
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: acknowledge it there because if I try to push it away,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: it gets worse and lingers. We know this for me anyway,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: and I gained it back within a year, and then
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: quarantine happened, and uh yeah, that added all where I
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, how do I fight and
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: combat enjoying being isolated too much but at the same
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: time knowing I shouldn't be isolated too much. And of course,
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: again I did not do as I was advised by
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: all of Twitter verse, which is to take advantage and
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: do all these home workouts. Sorry, it didn't happen for me,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: and I absolutely isolated and I was like, nope, not
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: going to the gym. You also haven't been vaccinated slash.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: There was no vaccine at the time. You know, of
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: course that they were also, but in my head that's
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: how I, you know, talked myself into this. And so yeah,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: gaining all of this way back, there was a lot
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: of shame in that for me, and it was really
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: overwhelming and it still kind of is, like I just
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: actually recently saw a friend that hadn't seen in four years,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: and the entire time, the panic of me trying to
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: find something to whear to try to hide that I
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: had gained everything back was fairly overwhelming to the point
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: that I'm like, maybe I should just cancel and stay
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: home and eat rice like that that was the thought
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: process for me, But I didn't. I did go out,
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: and yeah, I had gotten so many compliments and kudos
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: from my work, which mostly resulted because I felt too
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: nauseous and sad like that was the reason I it
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: wasn't really something to celebrate, honestly, And don't get me wrong,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I definitely exercise, but it wasn't different from what I
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: typically already do or doing, like that's something I've always
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: done and I just don't have the metabolism to be skinny,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: like maybe it helps me maintain to Technically I'm considered obese.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Thank you obesity. I got to qualify from my vaccine early. Cool,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, but technically I am obese by those standards.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: And again, when I realized how it was all back on,
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: I had a moment of shutting down and didn't want
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: to socialize or go back out in public. And I'm
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: still feeling that way, y'all. I'm still having this moment.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: There's a wedding coming up next week, and I'm really
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: overwhelmed because a few of the people who complimented my
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: weight loss and congratulated me and obviously saw me for
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: the first time, and we can We're gonna talk about
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: that too. This level of like being recognized as a
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: woman because I lost weight. It was lovely at that
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: point in time, But now I'm back here realizing the
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: difference and how it was paid attention to. It's kind
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: of shocking and kind of like heartbreaking for me. Y'all
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: reached out and have told us similar things with different
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: reasons why, whether it's something to lar to what Annie
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: was talking about with just the non desire to eat
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: and having to plan and make yourself eat, or being
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: a trauma response to past events and the overall weirdness
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  Speaker 1: of being told this is the standard, and then also
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: the conversation about eating in public and trying to put
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: on a brave face either way, and then having this
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: microaggression from others, whether it's one listener talked about how
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: they were like, oh, if you turn sideways, you disappear,
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  Speaker 1: and that that is a microaggression to this person trying
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: to figure out, Hey, I have complications in eating in
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: front of people. You're making this worse them honestly believing
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: that it is a compliment we have of course older
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: generations just who never held back. And you and I
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: talked about this when I was in high school when
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: we went to someone's grandparents home to show off our
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: dress to be like, look like rikiute and being told, oh,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: you got thick thighs, you got burling thighs, keep those
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, thank you. As a high schooler
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: and having that stigma on me for so long and
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: being told like, oh, you know, but your standards, your
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: beauty standers would be a hit here, and I'm like, again,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with this comment that
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: you're giving me, but that this is that whole level
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: of my own concern on how do we talk to
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: each other and lift each other up but not doing
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: away that it's actually really counterintuitive if being lifting each
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: other up. Yeah, it's it's complicated, for sure, and there's
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: a lot to impact and what you were just saying,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: because there's a whole level of fat phobia, and clearly
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: we've talked about before, but associating like one is obviously
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: better than the other, and we've somehow tied morality to
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: thinness as well. So there's just all these judgments people
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: feel so okay with making that are quite shocking, and
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: like the comments people will make. I remember when I
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: was in high school, a relative of mine and I
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: was a chubby I was a chubby kid, but he said,
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: you're soon you're gonna have to start shopping in the
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: maternity section. And you better believe after that, I was not.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: I could not eat in front of him, like this
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: was my young mind totally impacted by it, still remember
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: it so clearly. But that shouldn't. I mean, there's several
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: things wrong with that, but it was said as an
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: like insult almost, and that's messed up, Like it's there's
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: so many things that are wrong with this, and I
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: do I really appreciate how many people wrote in and
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: shared their own struggle with being open about this while
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: not wanting to perpetua eight um all these things, all
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: these like messed up thoughts and feelings we have around weight,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: and how that can get even more complicated when you're
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: a feminist, where it's like you don't want to lie,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: you don't want to but if people are doing these
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: weight things that you know are wrong, but you know
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: you're doing them too, and you're just hiding them because
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: it's not the feminist thing to do. I think we
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: have to talk about that as well. But it is
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: frustrating because it has been I just gave so much
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: of my brain space to thinking about that and I
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: don't want to, but I do. I think about it
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: all the time. I also worry about going out. I've
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: canceled plans because I'm like, they're going to think I've
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: gained all this weight during quarantine, which is it shouldn't
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: inspire the fear that it does, right, Yeah, it literally
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: causes me to disrupt my life because I don't want
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: to be seen. Yeah, I want to kind of come
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: back to this has already kind of gotten along with
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: all of my thoughts, because I do want to come
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: back to the fact that there's this responsibility on us
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: as individuals who are trying to uplift others that has
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: to have a balance of giving someone a feel good
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: moment versus perpetuating a stigma that's not necessarily healthy. We
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: don't know why someone lost weight. We don't know if
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: that was a plan, we don't know, but it it is
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: for their own health. We don't know what it is about,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: and oftentimes that's the one thing people feel like this
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: is okay to say because she looks amazing. You've lost
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: ten pounds. It's obvious. How did you do that? Tell
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: me your secrets type of which is not a secret.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Metabolism is different. The way we eat it is different.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I can. I exercise almost three to five times a
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: week typically. I have never really lost that much weight. Yes,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I also really love ice cream and pumpkin pies. Did
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I eat never breakfast for the past two weekends. Yes,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: We're not going to talk more about that. No, But
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: that's the thing is, like I understand all that, and
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: I would say that for when I was running. I
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: don't anymore because it hurts my body. Because we've just
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: figured out recently that I would say one mile was
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: one donut, Like that was the joke that I would have,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: and that I'm running so I can eat and it's
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: still unhealthy. That is so unhealthy. It's not because I'm
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: running aside. Enjoy its, you know, like and I did,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: and it was a stress reliever. And please know, when
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I go and do these dance classes, half the is
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: for social reasons because I love my dance family, So
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I say dance it's all workouts and it's just zoomba
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: and cardio jam. But I love it and I love
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: being with the people there because there's a failure a
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: camaraderie and something outside of my normal scope. They are
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: people from all kinds of worlds, and I love this.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: And I say that in like, yes, exercising it's beautiful,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: doing things it's good for you, or if you feel
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: it's good for you in a healthy way, is beautiful.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: But there is also this norm that we have allowed
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: that says, yes, we compliment for things that look appeasing
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: and what we value in ourselves, or we wish for
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: ourselves or we wish for others, to the point that
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: it is a detriment to most of society. And I
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: will say, for my family member, I have a niece
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: who's talking about some of the situations and she's gorgeous
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: and oh my god, the pictures of her is phenomenal
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: and apparently like there's some conversations around her home about
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: and I know this because I lived in the similar
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: home that this whole idea of being skinny is what
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: makes you valuable. So whether it's to become a wife,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: whether it's to become a cherished wife, whether it's to
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: become a good wife. And that's kind of that conversation.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: I will say here, my mom never maybe feel like
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I was ever overweight. My mom never put it in
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: my head that I had to be skinny. However, my
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: mom was so concerned with her own body as well,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: and she would make her comments about her own body
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: that of course it influenced me as well, and that
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: was one of the big things when I was in nanny.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: I was like, stop doing this. You're feeding into your
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: eleven year old head that a standard is taking diet
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: pills and skipping mills so you can have drinks. And again,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: that is one of those things I will say is
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: absolutely unhealthy. I will not hear that anything else on
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: that stuff like that as a standard. That is unhealthy.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: And I did it and sometimes I still do it.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: So please understand I am very aware of these unhealthy habits.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: And that's part of the problem in this bigger conversation
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: is trying to maintain something that may not be realistic
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: for you, and that includes for people who can't gain weight.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Of course, people may be bitter about this. There's those
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: again who have always struggled with weight that feels a
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: little bitter like you won the lottery. But for those individuals,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: that's not what they want it. Oftentimes that is not
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: something that they have seated, and they have been oftentimes
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: justice teased for being too skinnies, for being too wiry,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: for any of those conversations. And that is that conversation
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: of being perfect. And we're gonna talk about this again,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: I know, later on. But it's this whole level of
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: this fine line of for those who have worked because
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: they feel that they were unhealthy and they were unhappy,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: and so they did it in a healthy manner in
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: which they saw change but also was able to have
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: like encouragement with their mental health and meaning that they
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: were able to come to a point of really understanding
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: mentally and physically what this means for them and truly
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: coming to a point of being healthy again mentally and
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: physically as well, more so mentally than anything else. If
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: that is something that they have done and feel like, yes,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: I would like that to be acknowledge, then yeah, I
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: think we followed that lead. Not necessarily the compliment, oh
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: you look so much better, because that's not the truth.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: That doesn't change the person m I would hope, but
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: that they've accomplished a goal that they have set for
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: themselves in a healthy manner. And I've seen people do this,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: and I have seen people being able to do this
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: in a great way, and we want to acknowledge that,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: but we should not come out of bounds and do
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: it on our own without knowing who or where they're
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: coming from. Right, Yeah, And there's just so much stuff
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: that is impossible to untangle when you're talking about this,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: so like the toxic diet industry and all these messages
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: we've fed young girls and women, because you know, it's
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: hard to when you've grown up in that system, getting
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: those messages all the time, it's hard to know why.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Like I also I love exercising, but I was also
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: doing it for unhealthy reasons, so that they both can exist.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: But it's just so much work to like get to
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: the bottom of why you're doing something. And that's, you know,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: unfortunate that we have to do it. But I think
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: that it's it is you should examine why why you're
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: doing things. And I think twice maybe before complimenting someone,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: complimenting someone on something, and that I mean that can
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: be almost I get so in my head about it.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: I often won't even mention the best. I feel like
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I do that in so many things that I'm like,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know where to go from here. I'm going
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: to ignore this, which is again probably not the best,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: but at that point, like at least I need to
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: wait to read the room. M Yeah, see if you
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: can get the story. Well, um, we tossed on so
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: much stuff we could expound upon in this. Thank you
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Samantha for being so open. Thank you listeners for sending
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: us messages um and being so open as well and
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: giving us a lot to think about. And if you
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: would like to contact us, you can email is stuff
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: in your mom Stuff at I heart me dot com.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: You can find us on Instagram and Stuff I Ever
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Told You or on Twitter, app, Mom Stuff podcast. Thanks
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: That's always start of super producer Christina, Thank you. Thanks
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: to you for listening. Stupone told the production of I
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcast on my Heart Radio, visit
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: the heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.