Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1294 - [Parental Guidance Ep. 2] Nudes, Consent & Values: Talking to Kids About Sexting and Respect

Transcript

#1294 - [Parental Guidance Ep. 2] Nudes, Consent & Values: Talking to Kids About Sexting and Respect · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Parential Guidance Season three, Episode two on Monday Night, big
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: conversations around peer pressure and consent and some things were
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: said that need to be discussed today. Mark and Tammy
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: are upfront parents. There were some big reactions in the
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: room to a few things. That's what we're going to
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: talk about today on the podcast Today and Welcome. This
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: is the Happy Families podcast reparenting solutions every day, Australia's
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: most downloaded parenting podcast. We are Justin and Kylie Coulson.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Mark and Tammy are our upfront parents in season three.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Upfront parenting is all about respect underpinning that is, having
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: realistic expectations.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: They started off so well, we need to talk about
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: what they started off with. And then the unexpected turn.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: You sent a naked photo online.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: That's weird, them notfy the police.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: The thing at the moment that we're noticing is the
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: girls shorts have gotten shorter and shorter and shorter. I'm
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: saying to our boys, don't come home with the girls
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: with the short shorts. I don't want to be friends
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: with the mother in law. Do you let somebody take
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: a naked photo of you?
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: No?
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: No, you're so all of this can go away. If
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: you don't allow somebody to take a message of you.
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: I know that you want to focus on the nudes.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Well we need to. We can we say that a
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: different way. That just makes me feel uncomfortable the way
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: that you said that.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, that's not what I mean.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: No, I know. We should also highlight today's conversation, maybe
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: for mature audiences, if you've got young kids listening. We
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: are going to be talking about some of these topics
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: and they are not necessarily for younger years. Okay, just
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: claiming out of the way, should.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: I say, I know you want to have the converse
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: around consent and sending news.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's a much better way to say it.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: Thank you, I feel But we have to talk about
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: Tammy's comment around short shorts and the mother in law.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're going to do that second. Let's talk about
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: the nude stuff first, and the safe sexting or whether
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: or not you can send anything via text message and
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: not have negative ramifications. That's where we need to start.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: So my question for you is how prevalent is this, like,
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: how many girls are actually sending news?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, So the short answer is, we don't know there's
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: a couple of different organizations, both here and OFCAS that
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: have been doing some research on this. Depending on who
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: you ask and how you ask it, you get numbers
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: anywhere between ten percent and like forty seven to fifty
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: ish percent, which I mean there's an enormous amount of
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: variation there. It depends on the I'm going to get
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: technical for a sec, depends on the sampling methodology, who's
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: answering the questions, why they're answering it, and what the
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: questions are. So I think the most important thing to
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: highlight is that it is happening. That is, it is
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: now considered in many areas a normal part of dating
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: and social development that kids will at some point, teenagers
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: will at some point send images of themselves that could
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: be concerning if they are viewed by somebody other than
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: the intended recipient, or that could be concerning if the
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: relationship breaks down, which in a huge majority of cases
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: it will because they're teenagers and this stuff happens.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: So I find this really curious because growing up, we
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: obviously didn't grow up with mobile phones, and I remember vividly,
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: probably being about ten and catching up with the neighborhood
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: kids and one of the neighborhood boys and I were
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: downstairs in his garage and he was like, I'll show
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: you mine if you show me yours. That kind of conversation, right.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: But this is the same thing. It's just on technology.
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, But what I was about to say is that
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: is the one and only time that I ever had
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: that conversation with someone at a time where I would
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: suggest developmentally curious and appropriate. But it never happened once
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  Speaker 4: in my dating life did anyone ever ask to see
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: me naked?
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: Like?
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: How is it become so normalized because it's a digital
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: image when it would never in the past have been
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  Speaker 4: asked for the majority of us to share such explicit
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: content in real life.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's extraordinary. Partly this comes down to the pornification
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: of our world. So I would say that since the seventies,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: but especially since the rise of the Internet. And this
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: is a really provocative thing to say, but there's quite
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: a bit of evidence to support this. The pornography industry
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: is response for a huge amount of the technological advancements
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: that have occurred in terms of the Internet. In fact,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: there is a quote that I'm using in my upcoming
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: book about raising boys. I can't remember who said it. Now,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting us to go down this path, but
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: this person basically said the Internet was made for pornography.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: And so when you've got all these kids who are
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: seeing this stuff and then you take away inhibitions, you've
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: got this sense that because there's a screen and we're
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: not in one another's space, people are a lot less
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: inhibited in terms of what they say. The flirting gets
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: hotter and hotter. You feel like you're in the privacy
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: of your bedroom. You feel like it's only you and
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: that other person, and so it has your word here
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: is centrally important. It has become normalized. A huge percentage
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: of kids think that it is appropriate to ask for
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: solicit nude images from somebody else, and overwhelmingly now girls
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: do ask for boys to send things through, but not
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: very often in comparison, Again, a little bit of research.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think that all the data we've got is
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: trustworthy at all, but the research is pretty clear that
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: it's the guys who are doing the asking, not the girls.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Girls aren't that interested in guys junk guys.
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: I was about to say that pretty.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Fascinating, pretty fascinated by what's going on with girls and boys.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I have always been seen as the accelerator rather than
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: the break. That's the way it's always been from a
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: sexual point of view.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: So I guess, if we wanted to get really practical
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: for a minute, what's the communication look like leading up
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: to a photo like this being shared.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: This is a really hard thing to talk about, and
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I'm really disappointed by it. So I've spoken to some
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: girls and some guys who admitted the same that sometimes
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: their first interaction online will be, hey, will you send
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: me a photo? Like there's this instant push, there's almost
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: like an expectation, and if you won't, then I'm not
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: interested in you. I did speak to one teenage girl
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: a number of years ago when I was writing my
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: book about raising teen girls. She said that she was
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: with some friends in the mall or in the shops,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: or whatever you want to call it, and another group
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: of friends came over. There was one person in each
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: group that knew each other, but all of a sudden,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: you've gone from four or five kids to about ten
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: or twelve kids who were all suddenly getting to know
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: each other. This girl swapped Instagram details with one of
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: the guys who was chatty and seemed like a nice guy.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: And then she got a text message from dad, Hey,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I'm here at the shop, so I'm ready to pick
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: you up. Let's go. By the time she'd gotten in
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: the car, she got a ping from this guy on Instagram,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: and literally the first thing he wanted to know was
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: will you send me a hot pick? Like they'd known
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: each other for about ten minutes, talked for about three minutes,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: and he was soliciting. So is that normal? I don't
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: think so. I actually don't think so. But it is
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: an example of what can happen in many situations in
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: terms of the general communication leading up to a photo
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  Speaker 1: like this being shared. If it's part of a positive relationship,
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  Speaker 1: that is, a couple are in a consenting, happy, no
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: peer pressure kind of relationship, then they start to flirt
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: with each other and over hopefully in extended period of time,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: this becomes part of their dating and courtship behavior. I'm
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: really concerned about it. I don't think it's safe behavior
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: at all. I would, well, we do actively completely in
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: every way discourage our children from I just think that
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: it's crazy. I think it's crazy behavior that you would
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: send an image like that to somebody that you're not
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: in a guaranteed, safe, committed relationship too, But we can
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: talk about that more. But what also happens, and too
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: many girls have told me stories like this, is that
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: they'll get a seemingly safe conversation starter with somebody that
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: they know, somebody that they think they trust, and over
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: a period of five minutes, ten minutes, fifty minutes, two
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: and a half hours, the conversation will become increasingly sexually focused,
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: and then he'll start to listen and say, hey, what
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: are you wearing, what's underneath it? What can you send me?
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: That kind of stuff. These conversations are happening way more,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: way more than parents want to believe. And if we
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: are not having conversations about consent and about peer pressure,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: especially across gender peer pressure or between gender peer pressure,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: then our children, especially especially our daughters, could be at risk.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: You had that conversation with Dan on this episode about
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: this whole thing, and you asked him this question.
• 9:16
  Speaker 6: Our kids are feeling the peer pressure to sext, Dan.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: What is it with sexting?
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  Speaker 5: This has just become normalized. It's quite extraordinary how many
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: young people are aware of sexting in nudes and again
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: late primary into year seven, like this is when this
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: is rife and starts happening a lot. Boys know there's
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: more pressure on girls to share nudes, and there's more
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: shame when they do.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Is there such a thing as safe sexting?
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  Speaker 5: In your opinion, I don't believe there is. I think
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: we do have to hold the line on that for
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: the safety of everybody.
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: Do you agree with Dan on this any other thing?
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Let's play back what Courtney said.
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  Speaker 7: I would never blame a girl for having her photo shit.
• 10:02
  Speaker 7: I have had a naked photo of me leaked before.
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  Speaker 7: I've had been in that circumstance before I thought I
• 10:10
  Speaker 7: could trust someone. I have told our boys a lot
• 10:15
  Speaker 7: about my past, including that event. I have told them
• 10:18
  Speaker 7: how I feel and why you shouldn't be doing that
• 10:21
  Speaker 7: to women.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: So here we have a situation where we've got a
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: mum on the show who's saying I shared some images
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: with somebody in a trusting relationship and those images got
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: out that person was not trustworthy and what a steep
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: price to pay? What a really steep price to pay. So,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: in answer to your question, I just think this is
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: a really really I don't think there's such a thing
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: as safe sexting. Dan Prince Pay is absolutely right here.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: When you send an image, you lose control of what
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: happens to that image, full stop, end of story. Once
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: it's on somebody else's device, it could be hacked, it
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: could be shared, it could be shown to somebody else,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: it could be screenshotted. There is no such thing as
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: safe sexting. And I really believe that conversation needs to
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: happen with our kids. We're going to be back after
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: break to talk about that second big issue courtesy of Tammy.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Don't come home with the girls with the short shots?
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, Kylie, there was a really big bomb that was dropped,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I guess by our upfront parents, Mark and Tammy. Tammy
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: said something about short shorts that got everybody hot on
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: the collar.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: What was the short shorts thing?
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: What was that?
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: There we go, I'm not judging the girl with the
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: short shorts. I'm judging the girl's mum.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: You were very judgmental there, and because you have all
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: boys as well.
• 11:54
  Speaker 8: I think girls should be able to wear whatever they want.
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: I really do.
• 11:56
  Speaker 8: But I do think that there's an age as well
• 11:58
  Speaker 8: where it's appropriate. A twelve year old in a g
• 12:01
  Speaker 8: string on a beach makes it very difficult for my
• 12:03
  Speaker 8: husband to walk down comfortably.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: So women need to dress appropriately so that Nathan feels comfortable.
• 12:12
  Speaker 8: Like, how do you feel about that?
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: I'm not really thinking is my husband looking at that?
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: I just don't think that we should be putting down women?
• 12:23
  Speaker 8: Can we also notice the theme in all of this
• 12:26
  Speaker 8: that we've turned the focus to the girls.
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: There's always concerned for me that it can suggest that
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: someone had it coming to them or they should. That's
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: a type of person that we shouldn't respect as much
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: as someone fully clothed, right. I think we have to
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: address that that it shouldn't change how we relate to
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: the respect and decency and care that that person is owed.
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: I want to say ouch in today's day and age,
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: I love this show. I don't know if Tammy really
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: thought through her comments or whether or not the fact
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: that they are upfront about everything. Yes, she does let
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: it all out.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: So I want to I want to come to Tammy's
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: defense for just a moment, and I want to do
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: it very carefully and delicately. Tammy's not alone in holding
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: and saying beliefs along these lines, and I really want to.
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: Well, it might not be short shorts. Maybe it's tattoos,
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: maybe it's multiple earrings. Like most people have a value
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: system that they're working from, that's exactly Garvin's, the choices
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: that they make.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: And the judgments that they make of other people. Yes,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: and so let's let's just highlight a couple of things
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: that matter. Your values. You have every right to defend them.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: You have every right to share them as Tammy did,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: and live them and to live them and to have
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: healthy and appropriate expectations around that. Now, one of the
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: main reasons that people get upset about these kinds of comments,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: and we saw it with this as well.
• 14:05
  Speaker 8: A twelve year old in a g stree on a
• 14:07
  Speaker 8: beach makes it very difficult for my husband to walk
• 14:09
  Speaker 8: down comfortably.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: One of the issues that we have with these kinds
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: of scenarios is that if something harmful happens to somebody,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: usually a female, then we step into a victim blaming scenario.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: So I just want to step away from the harm situation.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: And I mean, who knows, maybe I'm going to throw
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: myself into the hot water with everybody else. But this
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: conversation comes up all the time, like what's appropriate to
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: wear when you're at the water park with the kids. Okay,
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: so you're in the kiddies area. You're not at a
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: water park for adults. You're in a kid's water park.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: What's appropriate to wear and what's not? Or what's appropriate
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: to wear at the beach and what's not? What are
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: our public decency standards? And every now and again, a
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: middle aged man or a boomer bloke, we'll say, I
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: don't feel like I'm comfortable walking down the beach because
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: all I can see is backsides and boobs everywhere. And
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: what that person's really expressed is I have certain values
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: and expectations around what people will wear in public, and
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: this is inconsistent with my values. They say it clumsily,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: they say it in a way that throws shade and
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: a whole lot more at the people who they are
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: disapproving of, and it does turn into a massive culture war.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Here's my take on this. You can wear whatever you want,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: but we don't live in a perfect world. And because
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: people do have different values in different standards, there are
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: going to be some people who will say things that
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: you might consider to be inconsiderate and they think are
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: completely justified and appropriate.
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: You don't get to choose other people's responses to our
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: actions or to how we choose to live our lives.
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: We don't actually get a choice in.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Terms of their values. Now, here's what I will say,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: and this is where it gets into the harm that's done.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: What you're wearing and where you are and what you're
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: doing has no impact whatsoever on whether or not somebody
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: is going to choose to do the wrong thing. That is,
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: people who commit assaults, people who do the wrong thing,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: the blame is on them. So if you are wearing
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: next to nothing, or if you are wearing full winter
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: gear and trench coats, unfortunately, there are bad actors in
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: this world who will stare at you and who will
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: even assault you. And by the same token, when you
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: and I were talking about this earlier, you made a
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: really important point that's worth highlighting.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: There are plenty of men out there who get themselves
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: in a position where both of you are naked and
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: you want to go further and the woman says no,
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: like in that instance.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: And there are plenty of guys will say okay, a.
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: Respectful man who says, okay, this is really hard.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: But okay, yeah, yeah, the break has been applied. You're
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: not cool with where we are, we're going to sit.
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: It has nothing to do with what you're wearing and
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: everything to do with that person's heart and the condition
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: of it.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: So this is the consent conversation, and I think we
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: need to disentangle the consent conversation from what Tammy has
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: said when it comes to the clothes that you wear.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I think that it's appropriate to teach our children to
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: be considerate of the context, and in certain contexts, some
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: clothing is far more acceptable, or perhaps a little less
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: acceptable than in other contexts. Now, if you want to
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: go and not worry about being considerate about what others think,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: and you just want to do you you want to
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: wear what you want to wear, then that is that's
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: totally your call.
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: But you also can't be surprised that you're going to
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: ruffle feathers along the way.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: My point exactly, is it right? I'm not going to
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: get involved in that. People have their values, people have
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: their standards. We live in a world that is not perfect.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: It's not utopia.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you every much, so is Mark?
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: Sorry?
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Was Tammy right to say what she said? Well, well,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: these are her values and she has every right to them,
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: and there are many many people who will agree with her,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: and I think that she should be supported for that,
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: And if that's the way that she feels, then more
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: power to her. And if Nathan and Joanne would really
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: prefer that Nathan isn't exposed to butts and boobs as
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: he walks along the Esplanharde, then they have every right
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: to feel that way. But if somebody walks past, I
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: don't think that it's appropriate that they start passing judgment,
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: making noises and telling people to cover up, which they're not,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: by the way, just in their defense, they're not doing that.
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: I think ultimately, each of us have our own set
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: of standards, our own set of values that we want
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: to live our lives. But we can't expect that other
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: people are going to uphold those standards in values. That's
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: our responsibility because they're ours. We own them, and we
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: make choices about how we choose to live that. So
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: if I feel uncomfortable walking down to the beach because
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: there is so much exposed skin that leaves me feeling uncomfortable,
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: then I actually have to rethink about whether or not
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: that's where I want to spend my time.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I'll find a different beach, right, like, everybody at that
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: beach dresses like that. But maybe there's a we live
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: on the Sunshine Coast. There are some beaches where there's
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: nobody on the beach. You and I could go for
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: a twenty minute walk and almost see nobody. And then
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: there are other beaches where you are guaranteed to see
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: a whole lot of flesh. It's just that's where the
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: population is and that's where people go and that's what
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: they wear. So consider the context, but also consider your
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: own decisions, like there's a level of personal responsibility here.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: The take home message from this, really getting back to
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: consent is don't assault people, right, Like, listen to what
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: people say. If someone says no, then they mean no.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: And there's that corfee that take hover okay, and there's
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: something the safe sex thing. There's just no oh, there's
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: like there's so many stories about women who go for
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: a jog and there and they're assaulted and it's like, no,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: the guy isn't the wrong. She should be allowed to
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: that woman should be allowed to run at five in
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: the morning or seven at night, and she should be safe.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: It's just not a that we have men who don't
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: get it, or the wolf whistle or the cat call
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: or whatever. Just guys, stop it. Just I don't know.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know why this is so hard. Stop it.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: It's not okay. Be a good person, be a bonus,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: add value to the lives of people. Stop just stop
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: this appalling behavior. I think it was a great episode.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: I think it was a great show on Monday night.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: We're back on Monday again, seven point thirty nine and nine.
• 20:33
  Speaker 6: Now with this next time, four new parents in styles
• 20:38
  Speaker 6: are having the hard conversations Australia needs to have about
• 20:42
  Speaker 6: forty inach, pillars and botok is the.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: Norm these days.
• 20:46
  Speaker 6: We confront to generations worrying obsession.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: At school needs to be riding on the walls about
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: mummy's leg.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: This is, for me, an area that requires immediate.
• 20:57
  Speaker 6: Intervention and we are parents with the tools to navigate
• 21:01
  Speaker 6: their way through.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: Guys, I actually think you look pretty good for your age.
• 21:08
  Speaker 8: If I want my children to believe that they're perfect,
• 21:10
  Speaker 8: then I need to reflect that in my behavior.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Cannot wait for Monday Night. Oh gosh, I love this show.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I love this show so much. The Happy Families podcast
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: is produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: is our executive producer during the parental guidance weeks, and
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: we have additional support from Mimhammond's. If you would like
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: more information and resources to make your family happier, please
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: visit us at happyfamilies dot com, dot a