Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 292: Tammys Takes #9: The Truth About Forgiveness No One Talks About

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E 292: Tammys Takes #9: The Truth About Forgiveness No One Talks About · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:02
  Hello
• 0:02
  everybody
• 0:03
  and
• 0:03
  welcome
• 0:03
  back
• 0:03
  to
• 0:03
  Tammy's
• 0:04
  Takes
• 0:04
  where
• 0:04
  we
• 0:04
  turn
• 0:05
  powerful
• 0:05
  conversations
• 0:06
  with
• 0:06
  our
• 0:06
  guests
• 0:07
  into
• 0:07
  practical
• 0:07
  strategies
• 0:08
  you
• 0:09
  can
• 0:09
  use
• 0:09
  right
• 0:09
  here,
• 0:10
  right
• 0:10
  now.
• 0:10
  So
• 0:11
  this
• 0:11
  Tammy's
• 0:11
  Takes
• 0:12
  is
• 0:12
  about
• 0:12
  my,
• 0:13
  my
• 0:13
  episode
• 0:14
  and
• 0:14
  my
• 0:14
  discussion
• 0:15
  with
• 0:15
  Paul
• 0:15
  Duggan.
• 0:16
  We
• 0:16
  talked
• 0:16
  about
• 0:16
  something
• 0:17
  that
• 0:17
  so
• 0:18
  many
• 0:18
  people
• 0:18
  struggle
• 0:18
  with,
• 0:19
  and
• 0:19
  that
• 0:19
  is
• 0:20
  a
• 0:20
  big
• 0:20
  word.
• 0:20
  It
• 0:20
  is
• 0:20
  that
• 0:21
  word
• 0:21
  of
• 0:21
  forgiveness,
• 0:22
  and
• 0:22
  I'm
• 0:22
  not
• 0:22
  talking
• 0:23
  about
• 0:23
  the
• 0:23
  surface
• 0:23
  level
• 0:24
  version
• 0:24
  of
• 0:24
  forgiveness,
• 0:25
  but
• 0:25
  the
• 0:25
  real
• 0:25
  messy,
• 0:26
  complicated
• 0:27
  version.
• 0:28
  That
• 0:28
  comes
• 0:28
  with
• 0:28
  all
• 0:29
  of
• 0:29
  the
• 0:29
  trauma,
• 0:29
  abuse,
• 0:30
  addiction,
• 0:30
  and
• 0:30
  the
• 0:30
  lived
• 0:31
  experience
• 0:31
  that
• 0:32
  people
• 0:32
  that
• 0:32
  grew
• 0:32
  up
• 0:32
  in
• 0:33
  chaos
• 0:33
  went
• 0:33
  through
• 0:34
  because
• 0:34
  he
• 0:35
  said
• 0:35
  something
• 0:36
  and
• 0:36
  it
• 0:36
  really
• 0:36
  stood
• 0:37
  out
• 0:37
  to
• 0:37
  me.
• 0:37
  How
• 0:37
  I
• 0:38
  like
• 0:38
  metaphors?
• 0:39
  I
• 0:39
  talk
• 0:39
  about
• 0:40
  stretching
• 0:40
  yourself
• 0:40
  like
• 0:41
  a
• 0:41
  rubber
• 0:41
  band
• 0:41
  and
• 0:41
  returning
• 0:42
  to
• 0:42
  its
• 0:42
  original
• 0:43
  shape.
• 0:43
  I
• 0:43
  talk
• 0:44
  about
• 0:44
  the
• 0:44
  people
• 0:44
  that
• 0:44
  walk
• 0:45
  around
• 0:45
  with
• 0:45
  their
• 0:45
  invisible
• 0:46
  backpack.
• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  today
• 0:48
  I'm
• 0:48
  gonna
• 0:48
  take
• 0:48
  something
• 0:48
  that
• 0:49
  he
• 0:49
  said
• 0:49
  and
• 0:49
  I'm
• 0:49
  gonna
• 0:50
  build
• 0:50
  on
• 0:50
  it,
• 0:50
  and
• 0:50
  we're
• 0:51
  gonna
• 0:51
  show
• 0:51
  how
• 0:51
  to
• 0:51
  get
• 0:52
  rid
• 0:52
  of
• 0:52
  it.
• 0:52
  He
• 0:53
  said,
• 0:53
  forgiveness
• 0:54
  isn't
• 0:54
  about
• 0:55
  the
• 0:55
  other
• 0:55
  person.
• 0:56
  It's
• 0:56
  about
• 0:56
  removing
• 0:57
  the
• 0:57
  hook
• 0:58
  from
• 0:58
  yourself.
• 1:00
  Today
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  am
• 1:00
  break
• 1:01
  down
• 1:01
  that
• 1:01
  statement
• 1:02
  'cause
• 1:02
  it
• 1:02
  was
• 1:02
  a
• 1:02
  powerful
• 1:03
  statement
• 1:04
  and
• 1:04
  I'm
• 1:04
  gonna
• 1:04
  break
• 1:04
  it
• 1:04
  down
• 1:05
  in
• 1:05
  a
• 1:05
  way
• 1:05
  that
• 1:05
  you
• 1:05
  can
• 1:05
  actually
• 1:06
  use
• 1:06
  today.
• 1:07
  Starting
• 1:07
  now.
• 1:09
  When
• 1:09
  most
• 1:09
  people
• 1:09
  think
• 1:09
  about
• 1:10
  forgiveness,
• 1:10
  what
• 1:11
  do
• 1:11
  they
• 1:11
  think
• 1:11
  about?
• 1:11
  They
• 1:12
  think
• 1:12
  that
• 1:12
  it
• 1:12
  has
• 1:13
  to
• 1:13
  mean
• 1:13
  What
• 1:13
  happened
• 1:14
  was,
• 1:14
  okay,
• 1:15
  I
• 1:15
  have
• 1:15
  to
• 1:15
  let
• 1:16
  you
• 1:16
  back
• 1:16
  in.
• 1:17
  I
• 1:17
  have
• 1:17
  to
• 1:17
  make
• 1:17
  peace
• 1:18
  with
• 1:18
  you.
• 1:19
  And
• 1:19
  your
• 1:19
  body
• 1:20
  basically
• 1:20
  says
• 1:21
  no.
• 1:21
  That
• 1:22
  wasn't
• 1:22
  okay.
• 1:23
  That's
• 1:23
  not
• 1:23
  the
• 1:23
  way
• 1:23
  it's
• 1:23
  gonna
• 1:24
  work.
• 1:24
  So
• 1:24
  what
• 1:24
  do
• 1:24
  you
• 1:24
  do?
• 1:25
  You
• 1:25
  resist
• 1:26
  it.
• 1:26
  But
• 1:26
  honestly,
• 1:27
  here's
• 1:27
  the
• 1:27
  truth.
• 1:28
  Forgiveness
• 1:28
  has
• 1:28
  nothing
• 1:28
  to
• 1:29
  do
• 1:29
  with
• 1:29
  them.
• 1:29
  It
• 1:29
  has
• 1:30
  everything
• 1:30
  to
• 1:30
  do
• 1:31
  with
• 1:31
  what
• 1:31
  your
• 1:31
  body
• 1:32
  is
• 1:32
  still
• 1:32
  carrying.
• 1:33
  And
• 1:34
  we,
• 1:34
  I
• 1:34
  talk
• 1:35
  a
• 1:35
  lot
• 1:35
  about
• 1:35
  energy
• 1:36
  and
• 1:36
  the,
• 1:36
  the
• 1:36
  frequencies
• 1:37
  and
• 1:37
  the
• 1:37
  energy
• 1:38
  that
• 1:38
  your
• 1:38
  body
• 1:38
  is
• 1:38
  still
• 1:39
  carrying
• 1:39
  and
• 1:39
  how
• 1:40
  all
• 1:40
  of
• 1:40
  those
• 1:41
  emotions
• 1:42
  get
• 1:43
  stuck
• 1:43
  in
• 1:43
  your
• 1:43
  pores.
• 1:45
  This
• 1:45
  is
• 1:45
  what's
• 1:46
  happening.
• 1:46
  Your
• 1:46
  body
• 1:47
  is
• 1:47
  still
• 1:47
  carrying
• 1:48
  everything,
• 1:49
  the
• 1:49
  energy
• 1:49
  that
• 1:49
  went
• 1:50
  along
• 1:50
  with
• 1:50
  what
• 1:50
  happened
• 1:51
  to
• 1:51
  you.
• 1:51
  So
• 1:51
  he
• 1:51
  said
• 1:52
  something,
• 1:53
  again,
• 1:53
  I'm
• 1:53
  going
• 1:53
  back
• 1:54
  to
• 1:54
  this
• 1:54
  metaphor,
• 1:55
  and
• 1:55
  when
• 1:55
  he
• 1:55
  said
• 1:56
  it,
• 1:56
  it
• 1:57
  just,
• 1:57
  it
• 1:57
  hit
• 1:57
  home
• 1:58
  so
• 1:58
  hard.
• 1:58
  He
• 1:58
  said,
• 1:59
  the
• 1:59
  abuser
• 1:59
  puts
• 1:59
  a
• 1:59
  hook
• 2:00
  in
• 2:00
  you
• 2:00
  and
• 2:01
  it
• 2:01
  stays
• 2:01
  there
• 2:01
  until
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  remove
• 2:02
  it.
• 2:03
  The
• 2:03
  hook
• 2:04
  shows
• 2:04
  up
• 2:04
  as
• 2:04
  anger,
• 2:05
  resentment,
• 2:05
  shame,
• 2:06
  guilt,
• 2:06
  self-sabotage
• 2:08
  shows
• 2:08
  up
• 2:09
  in
• 2:09
  so
• 2:09
  many
• 2:09
  different
• 2:10
  ways.
• 2:12
  The
• 2:12
  important
• 2:13
  part
• 2:13
  is
• 2:13
  as
• 2:13
  long
• 2:14
  as
• 2:14
  that
• 2:14
  hook
• 2:14
  is
• 2:14
  there,
• 2:15
  you're
• 2:15
  still
• 2:15
  reliving
• 2:16
  it.
• 2:17
  Not
• 2:17
  because
• 2:17
  it's
• 2:17
  happening
• 2:18
  again,
• 2:18
  but
• 2:19
  but
• 2:19
  because
• 2:19
  your
• 2:19
  body
• 2:20
  remembers
• 2:20
  it.
• 2:21
  So
• 2:22
  what
• 2:22
  is
• 2:23
  forgiveness
• 2:23
  and
• 2:24
  what
• 2:24
  isn't
• 2:24
  forgiveness?
• 2:25
  Forgiveness
• 2:26
  is
• 2:26
  not,
• 2:26
  quote
• 2:26
  unquote,
• 2:27
  I
• 2:27
  forgive
• 2:27
  you.
• 2:28
  It's,
• 2:29
  I
• 2:29
  am
• 2:29
  not
• 2:30
  carrying
• 2:30
  this
• 2:30
  anymore.
• 2:31
  You
• 2:31
  don't
• 2:32
  get
• 2:32
  to
• 2:32
  live
• 2:32
  in
• 2:33
  my
• 2:33
  body
• 2:33
  anymore.
• 2:34
  Forgiveness
• 2:35
  is
• 2:35
  when
• 2:35
  you
• 2:35
  start
• 2:36
  taking
• 2:36
  back
• 2:36
  control
• 2:37
  and
• 2:37
  you
• 2:37
  stop
• 2:38
  letting
• 2:39
  the
• 2:39
  abuser
• 2:39
  have
• 2:39
  the
• 2:40
  control
• 2:40
  over
• 2:40
  you.
• 2:42
  So
• 2:42
  when
• 2:42
  does
• 2:42
  this
• 2:42
  happen?
• 2:44
  It
• 2:44
  doesn't
• 2:44
  happen
• 2:44
  when
• 2:44
  you
• 2:45
  sit
• 2:45
  down
• 2:45
  and
• 2:45
  go,
• 2:45
  Hey,
• 2:46
  okay
• 2:46
  guys,
• 2:46
  today
• 2:47
  I'm
• 2:47
  gonna
• 2:47
  sit
• 2:47
  down
• 2:47
  and
• 2:47
  I'm
• 2:47
  gonna
• 2:48
  forgive
• 2:48
  that
• 2:48
  person
• 2:48
  for
• 2:49
  what
• 2:49
  they
• 2:49
  did
• 2:49
  to
• 2:49
  me.
• 2:51
  You
• 2:51
  don't
• 2:51
  just
• 2:52
  sit
• 2:52
  down
• 2:52
  and
• 2:52
  decide
• 2:52
  to
• 2:52
  forgive
• 2:53
  someone.
• 2:53
  That's
• 2:54
  not
• 2:54
  when
• 2:54
  real
• 2:54
  forgiveness
• 2:55
  happens.
• 2:55
  Real
• 2:56
  forgiveness.
• 2:56
  It
• 2:57
  happens
• 2:57
  in
• 2:57
  the
• 2:57
  little
• 2:57
  tiny
• 2:58
  moments
• 2:59
  when
• 2:59
  something
• 3:01
  happens
• 3:02
  and
• 3:02
  it
• 3:02
  triggers
• 3:03
  you.
• 3:04
  When
• 3:04
  they
• 3:04
  say
• 3:04
  something
• 3:05
  and
• 3:05
  you
• 3:05
  get
• 3:05
  irritated.
• 3:06
  You,
• 3:06
  when
• 3:06
  you
• 3:07
  start
• 3:07
  replaying
• 3:07
  something
• 3:08
  in
• 3:08
  your
• 3:08
  head,
• 3:08
  when
• 3:09
  you
• 3:09
  feel
• 3:09
  that
• 3:09
  tightness
• 3:10
  in
• 3:10
  your
• 3:10
  chest
• 3:11
  or
• 3:11
  when
• 3:11
  you
• 3:11
  think
• 3:12
  about
• 3:12
  the
• 3:12
  person
• 3:14
  and
• 3:14
  feel
• 3:14
  it
• 3:15
  instantly,
• 3:15
  this
• 3:16
  sensation
• 3:16
  in
• 3:17
  your
• 3:17
  body,
• 3:17
  that
• 3:18
  is
• 3:18
  the
• 3:18
  moment,
• 3:19
  that
• 3:19
  is
• 3:19
  when
• 3:19
  the
• 3:19
  hook
• 3:20
  is
• 3:20
  active.
• 3:21
  That
• 3:21
  is
• 3:21
  when
• 3:22
  forgiveness
• 3:24
  Becomes
• 3:24
  a
• 3:24
  practice.
• 3:25
  That
• 3:25
  is
• 3:25
  when
• 3:26
  the
• 3:26
  little,
• 3:26
  it's
• 3:26
  the
• 3:26
  little
• 3:27
  moments.
• 3:28
  So
• 3:28
  you're
• 3:28
  probably
• 3:28
  thinking,
• 3:29
  okay,
• 3:29
  great,
• 3:29
  Tammy,
• 3:29
  that's
• 3:30
  awesome,
• 3:30
  but
• 3:30
  how
• 3:30
  do
• 3:31
  I
• 3:31
  actually
• 3:31
  do
• 3:31
  it?
• 3:33
  How
• 3:33
  do
• 3:33
  I
• 3:33
  actually,
• 3:34
  when
• 3:34
  I
• 3:34
  feel
• 3:34
  that
• 3:34
  trigger
• 3:35
  or
• 3:35
  that
• 3:35
  anger
• 3:36
  or
• 3:36
  something
• 3:36
  stirred
• 3:36
  up
• 3:37
  in
• 3:37
  me,
• 3:38
  how
• 3:38
  do
• 3:38
  I
• 3:38
  do
• 3:38
  it?
• 3:39
  Well,
• 3:39
  first
• 3:39
  of
• 3:39
  all,
• 3:40
  one,
• 3:40
  you
• 3:41
  do
• 3:41
  it
• 3:41
  right
• 3:41
  there
• 3:42
  in
• 3:42
  the
• 3:42
  moment.
• 3:42
  You
• 3:42
  catch
• 3:43
  it,
• 3:44
  you
• 3:44
  pause,
• 3:44
  and
• 3:44
  if
• 3:45
  you
• 3:45
  have
• 3:45
  to
• 3:45
  give
• 3:45
  yourself
• 3:46
  a
• 3:46
  visualization
• 3:47
  or
• 3:47
  something
• 3:48
  to
• 3:48
  anchor
• 3:48
  that
• 3:49
  feeling
• 3:49
  to,
• 3:49
  so
• 3:49
  that
• 3:49
  you
• 3:50
  know,
• 3:50
  whoa,
• 3:50
  this
• 3:50
  is
• 3:50
  it.
• 3:51
  Picture
• 3:52
  something.
• 3:53
  I
• 3:53
  love
• 3:53
  Paul's
• 3:53
  analogy
• 3:54
  of
• 3:54
  it
• 3:54
  being
• 3:55
  a
• 3:55
  hook.
• 3:56
  So
• 3:56
  when
• 3:56
  somebody
• 3:57
  says
• 3:57
  something
• 3:57
  to
• 3:57
  you
• 3:57
  and
• 3:58
  you're
• 3:58
  angry,
• 3:59
  picture
• 4:00
  that
• 4:00
  hook.
• 4:01
  Don't
• 4:01
  say
• 4:01
  to
• 4:02
  yourself
• 4:02
  this,
• 4:02
  they
• 4:03
  did
• 4:03
  it
• 4:03
  again.
• 4:04
  This
• 4:04
  always
• 4:04
  happens.
• 4:05
  Just
• 4:06
  say
• 4:06
  to
• 4:06
  yourself,
• 4:06
  Hmm,
• 4:07
  there
• 4:07
  is
• 4:08
  that
• 4:08
  hook.
• 4:08
  This
• 4:09
  is
• 4:09
  the
• 4:09
  hook
• 4:10
  next
• 4:11
  to
• 4:12
  feel
• 4:12
  it
• 4:12
  in
• 4:12
  your
• 4:12
  body.
• 4:13
  Ask
• 4:14
  yourself,
• 4:14
  where
• 4:14
  do
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  feel
• 4:15
  this?
• 4:16
  And
• 4:16
  again,
• 4:16
  use
• 4:17
  that
• 4:17
  visualization.
• 4:18
  Visualization
• 4:19
  is
• 4:19
  such
• 4:19
  a
• 4:20
  powerful
• 4:20
  tool.
• 4:21
  So
• 4:21
  where
• 4:21
  do
• 4:21
  you
• 4:22
  feel
• 4:22
  that?
• 4:22
  You
• 4:23
  feel
• 4:23
  it
• 4:23
  in
• 4:23
  your
• 4:23
  chest,
• 4:24
  in
• 4:24
  your
• 4:24
  stomach,
• 4:24
  in
• 4:24
  your
• 4:24
  shoulders,
• 4:25
  in
• 4:25
  your
• 4:25
  neck,
• 4:26
  wherever
• 4:26
  it
• 4:27
  is.
• 4:27
  Picture
• 4:27
  that
• 4:27
  hook
• 4:28
  there.
• 4:29
  Put
• 4:29
  your
• 4:29
  hand
• 4:30
  on
• 4:30
  that
• 4:30
  spot.
• 4:31
  Take
• 4:31
  in
• 4:32
  a
• 4:32
  deep
• 4:32
  breath.
• 4:34
  You're
• 4:34
  not
• 4:34
  fixing
• 4:35
  it.
• 4:35
  All
• 4:35
  you're
• 4:36
  doing
• 4:36
  is
• 4:36
  interrupting
• 4:37
  the
• 4:37
  pattern
• 4:37
  of
• 4:37
  the,
• 4:38
  the
• 4:38
  energy
• 4:39
  that
• 4:39
  goes
• 4:39
  along
• 4:39
  with
• 4:39
  that
• 4:40
  feeling.
• 4:41
  So
• 4:41
  put
• 4:41
  your
• 4:41
  hand
• 4:42
  there.
• 4:42
  Just
• 4:43
  say
• 4:43
  number
• 4:43
  three.
• 4:44
  Just
• 4:44
  say,
• 4:45
  I'm
• 4:45
  not
• 4:45
  carrying
• 4:46
  this
• 4:46
  anymore.
• 4:47
  That
• 4:47
  was
• 4:47
  then,
• 4:48
  this
• 4:48
  is
• 4:48
  now
• 4:49
  I'm
• 4:49
  safe
• 4:50
  right
• 4:50
  now.
• 4:51
  I
• 4:51
  choose
• 4:51
  me.
• 4:53
  So
• 4:54
  you're
• 4:54
  literally
• 4:55
  going
• 4:55
  to
• 4:56
  acknowledge
• 4:57
  it,
• 4:57
  say,
• 4:57
  oh
• 4:57
  my
• 4:57
  gosh,
• 4:58
  there's
• 4:58
  the
• 4:58
  hook
• 4:58
  again.
• 4:59
  Where
• 4:59
  do
• 4:59
  I
• 4:59
  feel
• 4:59
  it?
• 5:00
  It's
• 5:00
  in
• 5:00
  my
• 5:00
  chest.
• 5:01
  Put
• 5:01
  your
• 5:01
  hand
• 5:02
  there
• 5:02
  and
• 5:02
  say,
• 5:02
  this
• 5:02
  is
• 5:02
  not
• 5:03
  mine
• 5:03
  to
• 5:03
  carry
• 5:03
  anymore.
• 5:04
  I'm
• 5:04
  not
• 5:04
  carrying
• 5:04
  this
• 5:05
  anymore.
• 5:05
  I'm
• 5:06
  safe.
• 5:06
  I
• 5:07
  choose
• 5:07
  me.
• 5:08
  And
• 5:08
  then
• 5:08
  step
• 5:08
  four,
• 5:09
  and
• 5:09
  probably
• 5:09
  the
• 5:09
  most
• 5:09
  important
• 5:10
  part.
• 5:12
  Break
• 5:12
  up
• 5:12
  what
• 5:12
  you're
• 5:12
  doing
• 5:13
  with
• 5:13
  your
• 5:13
  body,
• 5:13
  move
• 5:14
  your
• 5:14
  body,
• 5:15
  shift
• 5:15
  your
• 5:15
  state.
• 5:16
  It
• 5:16
  doesn't
• 5:16
  matter
• 5:16
  what
• 5:17
  you
• 5:17
  do.
• 5:18
  Take
• 5:18
  a
• 5:18
  sip
• 5:18
  of
• 5:18
  water,
• 5:19
  drink
• 5:19
  your
• 5:19
  coffee,
• 5:20
  change
• 5:20
  rooms,
• 5:21
  move
• 5:21
  around.
• 5:22
  Stand
• 5:22
  up.
• 5:22
  Just
• 5:23
  do
• 5:23
  something
• 5:24
  because
• 5:24
  if
• 5:24
  you
• 5:24
  stay
• 5:25
  still
• 5:25
  in
• 5:25
  this
• 5:25
  moment,
• 5:26
  you're
• 5:26
  going
• 5:26
  to
• 5:27
  go
• 5:27
  right
• 5:27
  back
• 5:27
  to
• 5:27
  the
• 5:28
  story
• 5:29
  and
• 5:29
  that
• 5:29
  is
• 5:29
  what
• 5:29
  we
• 5:29
  don't
• 5:30
  wanna
• 5:30
  do.
• 5:31
  So
• 5:31
  I'm
• 5:31
  gonna
• 5:31
  repeat
• 5:32
  it
• 5:32
  again.
• 5:32
  What
• 5:32
  do
• 5:32
  you
• 5:32
  do?
• 5:33
  You
• 5:33
  hear
• 5:33
  it,
• 5:33
  you
• 5:34
  trigger,
• 5:34
  you're
• 5:34
  triggered.
• 5:35
  You
• 5:35
  say,
• 5:35
  wow,
• 5:36
  this
• 5:36
  is
• 5:36
  that
• 5:36
  hook.
• 5:37
  I
• 5:37
  feel
• 5:37
  it
• 5:38
  in
• 5:38
  my
• 5:38
  chest.
• 5:38
  You
• 5:39
  put
• 5:39
  your
• 5:39
  hands
• 5:39
  on
• 5:39
  your
• 5:40
  chest.
• 5:40
  I
• 5:41
  am
• 5:41
  safe.
• 5:41
  Now
• 5:41
  this
• 5:42
  is
• 5:42
  not
• 5:42
  mine
• 5:42
  to
• 5:42
  carry.
• 5:43
  I
• 5:44
  don't
• 5:44
  carry
• 5:44
  this
• 5:44
  anymore.
• 5:45
  This
• 5:45
  was
• 5:45
  then,
• 5:46
  that
• 5:46
  was
• 5:47
  then.
• 5:47
  This
• 5:47
  is
• 5:47
  now.
• 5:48
  I'm
• 5:48
  safe
• 5:49
  right
• 5:49
  now.
• 5:49
  I
• 5:50
  choose
• 5:50
  me
• 5:50
  and
• 5:50
  whatever
• 5:51
  version
• 5:51
  of
• 5:51
  those
• 5:51
  words
• 5:52
  you
• 5:52
  wanna
• 5:52
  do,
• 5:52
  and
• 5:53
  then
• 5:53
  get
• 5:53
  up
• 5:53
  and
• 5:53
  do
• 5:53
  some
• 5:54
  get
• 5:54
  up
• 5:54
  and
• 5:54
  move.
• 5:56
  Do
• 5:56
  not
• 5:56
  let
• 5:56
  yourself
• 5:57
  go
• 5:57
  right
• 5:57
  back
• 5:57
  to
• 5:57
  the
• 5:57
  story.
• 5:59
  So
• 5:59
  I
• 5:59
  wanna
• 6:00
  tie
• 6:00
  this
• 6:01
  all
• 6:01
  back
• 6:01
  into
• 6:01
  you.
• 6:02
  Because
• 6:03
  you're
• 6:03
  probably
• 6:03
  saying,
• 6:03
  wait,
• 6:04
  we're,
• 6:04
  is
• 6:04
  this
• 6:05
  all
• 6:05
  triggers?
• 6:05
  How
• 6:05
  do
• 6:06
  I
• 6:06
  really
• 6:06
  tie
• 6:06
  this
• 6:06
  back
• 6:07
  into
• 6:07
  forgiveness
• 6:10
  Again,
• 6:10
  forgiveness
• 6:11
  is
• 6:11
  not
• 6:11
  saying
• 6:12
  I
• 6:12
  forgive
• 6:13
  you.
• 6:15
  Not
• 6:15
  at
• 6:15
  one
• 6:15
  big
• 6:15
  moment,
• 6:16
  but
• 6:17
  it's
• 6:17
  saying
• 6:17
  right
• 6:18
  here,
• 6:19
  I'm
• 6:19
  okay.
• 6:20
  Because
• 6:20
  when
• 6:20
  you
• 6:20
  pause
• 6:22
  and
• 6:22
  feel
• 6:22
  it
• 6:23
  and
• 6:23
  choose
• 6:23
  not
• 6:24
  to
• 6:24
  carry
• 6:24
  it,
• 6:25
  that
• 6:25
  is
• 6:26
  when
• 6:26
  you're
• 6:26
  forgiving
• 6:27
  because
• 6:27
  it
• 6:27
  doesn't
• 6:28
  have
• 6:28
  that
• 6:28
  hold
• 6:28
  on
• 6:28
  you.
• 6:29
  You
• 6:30
  don't
• 6:30
  forgive
• 6:30
  them
• 6:30
  Once.
• 6:32
  That's
• 6:32
  not
• 6:32
  how
• 6:32
  forgiveness
• 6:33
  work.
• 6:33
  You
• 6:33
  don't
• 6:33
  just
• 6:33
  forgive
• 6:33
  'em
• 6:34
  of
• 6:34
  someone.
• 6:34
  Once
• 6:34
  you
• 6:35
  forgive
• 6:35
  the
• 6:35
  feeling,
• 6:36
  every
• 6:36
  time
• 6:37
  your
• 6:37
  body
• 6:37
  brings
• 6:38
  it
• 6:38
  back,
• 6:38
  and
• 6:39
  eventually
• 6:40
  it'll
• 6:40
  stop
• 6:41
  being
• 6:41
  so
• 6:41
  hard,
• 6:42
  you'll
• 6:42
  just
• 6:43
  literally,
• 6:43
  something
• 6:44
  will
• 6:44
  happen
• 6:44
  and
• 6:45
  you'll
• 6:45
  just
• 6:45
  be
• 6:45
  like,
• 6:45
  wow.
• 6:46
  I
• 6:46
  know
• 6:47
  this
• 6:47
  sounds
• 6:47
  hard
• 6:47
  to
• 6:47
  believe.
• 6:48
  Eventually
• 6:49
  it
• 6:49
  won't
• 6:49
  even
• 6:49
  trigger
• 6:50
  you.
• 6:51
  A
• 6:51
  thought
• 6:51
  of
• 6:51
  that
• 6:51
  person
• 6:52
  will
• 6:52
  come
• 6:53
  about
• 6:53
  and
• 6:54
  it
• 6:54
  will,
• 6:54
  it'll
• 6:54
  feel
• 6:54
  nothing.
• 6:55
  You'll
• 6:55
  literally
• 6:56
  feel
• 6:56
  nothing,
• 6:56
  and
• 6:56
  it
• 6:57
  will
• 6:57
  be
• 6:57
  so
• 6:58
  liberating.
• 6:59
  Now
• 6:59
  I
• 7:00
  do
• 7:00
  wanna
• 7:00
  go
• 7:00
  a
• 7:00
  little
• 7:00
  deeper
• 7:01
  for
• 7:01
  some
• 7:01
  of
• 7:01
  you,
• 7:01
  because
• 7:02
  for
• 7:02
  a
• 7:02
  lot
• 7:03
  of
• 7:03
  you,
• 7:04
  there's
• 7:05
  a
• 7:05
  shame
• 7:05
  level
• 7:05
  to
• 7:05
  it.
• 7:06
  So
• 7:07
  it's
• 7:07
  not
• 7:07
  about
• 7:08
  just
• 7:08
  forgiving
• 7:09
  them,
• 7:10
  it's
• 7:10
  also
• 7:10
  about
• 7:10
  forgiving
• 7:11
  yourself.
• 7:12
  And
• 7:13
  you
• 7:13
  may
• 7:13
  be
• 7:13
  saying,
• 7:13
  well,
• 7:14
  why
• 7:14
  do
• 7:14
  I
• 7:14
  have
• 7:14
  to
• 7:15
  forgive
• 7:15
  myself?,
• 7:16
  Even
• 7:16
  though
• 7:16
  you
• 7:16
  don't
• 7:17
  mean
• 7:17
  to,
• 7:18
  your
• 7:18
  subconscious
• 7:19
  mind
• 7:20
  is
• 7:21
  blaming
• 7:21
  you
• 7:22
  for
• 7:22
  what
• 7:22
  you
• 7:22
  stayed
• 7:23
  in
• 7:23
  for,
• 7:23
  what
• 7:23
  you
• 7:23
  tolerated,
• 7:24
  for
• 7:24
  how
• 7:24
  you
• 7:24
  cope,
• 7:25
  for
• 7:25
  what
• 7:25
  you
• 7:25
  did.
• 7:27
  Paul
• 7:27
  made
• 7:27
  a
• 7:28
  really
• 7:28
  good
• 7:29
  comment,
• 7:29
  and
• 7:30
  I'm
• 7:30
  trying
• 7:30
  to
• 7:30
  think
• 7:31
  of
• 7:31
  the
• 7:31
  exact
• 7:31
  words
• 7:31
  he
• 7:32
  said,
• 7:32
  but
• 7:32
  he
• 7:33
  basically
• 7:33
  just
• 7:33
  said,
• 7:34
  the
• 7:34
  shame
• 7:34
  was
• 7:34
  taught
• 7:35
  to
• 7:35
  you.
• 7:35
  It
• 7:35
  was
• 7:36
  never
• 7:36
  who
• 7:36
  you
• 7:36
  were.
• 7:38
  So
• 7:40
  I
• 7:40
  wanna
• 7:41
  add
• 7:41
  that
• 7:41
  layer
• 7:42
  in
• 7:42
  there
• 7:42
  because
• 7:42
  that
• 7:43
  is
• 7:43
  a
• 7:43
  big
• 7:43
  part
• 7:43
  of
• 7:43
  it
• 7:44
  too.
• 7:44
  But
• 7:44
  it's
• 7:44
  the
• 7:44
  same
• 7:45
  thing
• 7:45
  when
• 7:45
  those
• 7:45
  feelings
• 7:46
  start
• 7:46
  coming
• 7:47
  up.
• 7:48
  Just
• 7:49
  that
• 7:49
  is
• 7:49
  the
• 7:49
  hook.
• 7:50
  Where
• 7:50
  do
• 7:50
  I
• 7:51
  feel
• 7:51
  it?
• 7:52
  I
• 7:52
  am
• 7:52
  safe
• 7:53
  now.
• 7:53
  That
• 7:53
  was
• 7:53
  then,
• 7:54
  this
• 7:54
  is
• 7:54
  now.
• 7:55
  I
• 7:55
  love
• 7:55
  me,
• 7:56
  whatever
• 7:56
  you
• 7:56
  have
• 7:57
  to
• 7:57
  say.
• 7:58
  So
• 7:58
  I
• 7:58
  just
• 7:59
  wanted
• 7:59
  to
• 7:59
  point
• 8:00
  that
• 8:00
  out
• 8:00
  because
• 8:00
  I
• 8:00
  think
• 8:01
  that
• 8:01
  sometimes
• 8:02
  we
• 8:02
  are
• 8:02
  so
• 8:02
  quick
• 8:03
  to
• 8:03
  think
• 8:03
  you
• 8:03
  have
• 8:03
  to
• 8:03
  sit
• 8:04
  down
• 8:04
  and
• 8:04
  it's
• 8:04
  a
• 8:04
  process.
• 8:05
  You
• 8:05
  have
• 8:05
  to
• 8:05
  sit
• 8:05
  down
• 8:06
  and
• 8:06
  you
• 8:06
  have
• 8:06
  to
• 8:06
  think
• 8:06
  about
• 8:06
  forgiving
• 8:07
  this
• 8:08
  person.
• 8:09
  It
• 8:09
  has
• 8:09
  nothing
• 8:09
  to
• 8:09
  do
• 8:09
  with
• 8:10
  that.
• 8:10
  It
• 8:10
  is
• 8:10
  about
• 8:11
  getting
• 8:11
  rid
• 8:11
  of
• 8:11
  the
• 8:12
  energy
• 8:13
  in
• 8:13
  your
• 8:13
  body
• 8:15
  that
• 8:15
  is
• 8:15
  holding
• 8:15
  onto
• 8:16
  the
• 8:16
  feelings
• 8:18
  that
• 8:18
  it
• 8:18
  acted,
• 8:19
  that
• 8:19
  it
• 8:19
  caused
• 8:20
  you.
• 8:20
  Now,
• 8:21
  there
• 8:21
  is
• 8:21
  a
• 8:21
  question,
• 8:22
  and
• 8:22
  I
• 8:22
  got
• 8:22
  this.
• 8:22
  I
• 8:22
  use
• 8:23
  this
• 8:23
  all
• 8:23
  the
• 8:23
  time
• 8:23
  in
• 8:23
  my
• 8:24
  podcast.
• 8:26
  If
• 8:26
  you
• 8:26
  think
• 8:27
  you
• 8:27
  have
• 8:27
  forgiven
• 8:27
  that
• 8:28
  person,
• 8:28
  or
• 8:28
  you
• 8:28
  say,
• 8:28
  yes,
• 8:29
  I've
• 8:29
  forgiven
• 8:29
  them,
• 8:32
  and
• 8:32
  the
• 8:32
  moments
• 8:33
  aren't
• 8:33
  coming
• 8:33
  up,
• 8:33
  you're
• 8:34
  not
• 8:34
  being
• 8:34
  triggered
• 8:34
  on
• 8:34
  a
• 8:34
  regular
• 8:35
  place
• 8:35
  but
• 8:36
  basis,
• 8:36
  but
• 8:36
  you
• 8:36
  really
• 8:37
  wanna
• 8:37
  see
• 8:37
  where
• 8:37
  you're
• 8:37
  at.
• 8:39
  Just
• 8:40
  close
• 8:40
  your
• 8:40
  eyes
• 8:42
  and
• 8:42
  picture,
• 8:43
  picture
• 8:43
  that
• 8:43
  person
• 8:45
  and
• 8:45
  say,
• 8:46
  I
• 8:46
  forgive
• 8:47
  him.
• 8:48
  And
• 8:48
  just
• 8:48
  see
• 8:48
  what
• 8:49
  happens.
• 8:50
  If
• 8:50
  you
• 8:50
  have
• 8:50
  truly
• 8:51
  let
• 8:51
  go
• 8:51
  of
• 8:51
  the
• 8:52
  feelings.
• 8:54
  You
• 8:54
  won't
• 8:54
  have
• 8:55
  a,
• 8:55
  a
• 8:55
  physiological
• 8:56
  reaction
• 8:56
  to
• 8:56
  that
• 8:57
  question.
• 8:57
  If
• 8:58
  you
• 8:58
  haven't,
• 8:59
  it's
• 8:59
  okay.
• 9:01
  It
• 9:01
  is
• 9:01
  absolutely
• 9:02
  okay.
• 9:02
  You
• 9:02
  don't
• 9:02
  have
• 9:03
  to
• 9:03
  carry
• 9:03
  it
• 9:03
  forever.
• 9:03
  You
• 9:04
  don't
• 9:04
  have
• 9:04
  to
• 9:04
  keep
• 9:04
  reliving
• 9:05
  it,
• 9:05
  and
• 9:05
  you
• 9:05
  don't
• 9:05
  have
• 9:05
  to
• 9:05
  wait
• 9:06
  for
• 9:06
  someone
• 9:06
  else
• 9:06
  to
• 9:06
  fix
• 9:07
  it.
• 9:07
  You
• 9:07
  get
• 9:08
  to
• 9:08
  free
• 9:08
  yourself.
• 9:09
  And
• 9:09
  this
• 9:09
  is
• 9:09
  done
• 9:10
  one
• 9:10
  moment
• 9:11
  at
• 9:11
  a
• 9:11
  time.
• 9:12
  One
• 9:12
  moment.
• 9:12
  So
• 9:13
  every
• 9:13
  time
• 9:13
  this
• 9:13
  feelings
• 9:13
  come
• 9:14
  up,
• 9:14
  keep
• 9:14
  doing
• 9:14
  this
• 9:15
  exercise
• 9:15
  until
• 9:16
  those
• 9:16
  feelings
• 9:16
  are
• 9:17
  gone.
• 9:18
  So
• 9:19
  if
• 9:19
  this
• 9:19
  hit
• 9:19
  with
• 9:19
  you
• 9:19
  guys,
• 9:20
  if
• 9:20
  you're
• 9:20
  realizing
• 9:20
  you've
• 9:21
  been
• 9:21
  carrying
• 9:21
  something
• 9:21
  for
• 9:21
  a
• 9:22
  long
• 9:22
  time.
• 9:23
  I
• 9:23
  want
• 9:23
  to
• 9:23
  invite
• 9:24
  you
• 9:24
  to
• 9:24
  take
• 9:24
  the
• 9:24
  next
• 9:24
  step.
• 9:25
  Let's
• 9:25
  talk.
• 9:26
  No
• 9:26
  pressure,
• 9:26
  no
• 9:27
  expectations,
• 9:28
  just
• 9:28
  a
• 9:28
  real
• 9:28
  conversation
• 9:29
  to
• 9:29
  help
• 9:29
  you
• 9:29
  get
• 9:30
  some
• 9:30
  clarity
• 9:30
  on
• 9:30
  where
• 9:31
  you're
• 9:31
  at.
• 9:31
  So
• 9:32
  go
• 9:32
  into
• 9:33
  the
• 9:33
  show
• 9:33
  notes,
• 9:33
  book
• 9:33
  a
• 9:34
  confidence
• 9:34
  and
• 9:34
  clarity
• 9:35
  call.
• 9:35
  I
• 9:35
  would
• 9:35
  love
• 9:35
  to
• 9:35
  chat
• 9:36
  with
• 9:36
  you.
• 9:38
  Forgiveness.
• 9:39
  Remember,
• 9:39
  forgiveness
• 9:40
  is
• 9:40
  a,
• 9:40
  is
• 9:40
  a
• 9:40
  process,
• 9:42
  but
• 9:42
  it's
• 9:42
  not
• 9:43
  about
• 9:43
  them.
• 9:44
  It's
• 9:44
  about
• 9:44
  freeing
• 9:45
  your
• 9:45
  body
• 9:46
  from
• 9:46
  reliving
• 9:47
  it.
• 9:47
  And
• 9:47
  this
• 9:48
  is
• 9:48
  what
• 9:48
  we
• 9:48
  wanna
• 9:48
  do
• 9:48
  in
• 9:49
  order
• 9:49
  for
• 9:49
  you
• 9:49
  to
• 9:49
  have.
• 9:50
  Everlasting
• 9:51
  piece.
• 9:52
  So
• 9:52
  thank
• 9:52
  you
• 9:52
  very
• 9:53
  much
• 9:53
  and
• 9:53
  I
• 9:53
  hope
• 9:54
  to
• 9:54
  see
• 9:54
  you
• 9:54
  back
• 9:54
  here
• 9:55
  very,
• 9:55
  very
• 9:55
  soon.
• 9:56
  Love
• 9:57
  you
• 9:57
  guys.