Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep60: Evelyn's sister loves wolves; Nick was the Clam Chowda kid.

Transcript

Ep60: Evelyn's sister loves wolves; Nick was the Clam Chowda kid. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Some papers are besties.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Others quarrel bitterly.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Stuck together through geography.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: One of us has nukes.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the other has toutes.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's reverse jackass.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, welcome back everyone to the Reverse Jackass Podcast.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: The podcast.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Pause.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Did I say did I get the name?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Is that the most excited you can be for these people?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: They're taking 20 minutes out of their day to listen to our thing.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Please sell it.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you show me how it's done?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Haven't I been showing you how it's done for 35 episodes at this point?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Folks, Canadians, Americans, in-betweeners, North Americans of all shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds, welcome.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad you're here.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: And Evelyn is medium glad that you're here at the Reverse Jackass Podcast.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, despite an inauspicious beginning followed by a terribly auspicious beginning, it's an Evelyn episode today.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so excited to hand the steering wheel over to Evelyn.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Evelyn, please don't fuck it up.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that was a little disingenuous.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, here's a good one.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Let me do it your way.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Bring yeah, yeah.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, hello.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry for bothering you.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh this is the reverse jackass podcast.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad you're here, but of course you're free to go at any time that you don't want to go to.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just gonna scooch on over here and get us started.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't say sorry at the end.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: And and also, uh, I just in case you've missed it before, I'm sorry.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just really sorry.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: And if you missed it, then I'm I'm sorry, I I said too quietly.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Then I you know, I think I I think I understand how it's done.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: Here, let me do it like Nick.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, please.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: Let me focus for a second.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_02: Folks, welcome back to the reverse jackass podcast.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: Canadians, Americans, everybody, you know what?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone from the whole world, I'm gonna sing the American national anthem for you, and then I'm going to welcome you into the reverse jackass podcast.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: My name is Nick Bogner, and I'm here with Evelyn the Canadian Blade, as always.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: Evelyn, how are you doing tonight?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm really sorry, and I'm fine.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Great.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for being here tonight.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's an Evelyn night.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: Does that feel good?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because that sounds amazing.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Did it?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like Is that what I sound like?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's awesome.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: I felt like I wanted to jump out of my own skin.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, now you know what it's like to be me.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna insert that trombone noise right here.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: The vulnerability air horn.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: We haven't got it.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, okay.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: All joking aside, you do you, I'll do my thing, and we will we will meet in the middle.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: Now's not the time to change because there have been people who have been listening to this podcast from episode one.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm shouting out to Jill.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: Jill.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: Jill, who I know has listened to each episode probably about seven or eight times by now and has done a thorough analysis on each episode.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: And we want to keep things consistent.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: We don't want to throw any weird curveballs.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: So obviously, I have a story and then I have a question next.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: So here's the story.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: A few years ago, and by a few I mean probably 20.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: 25 years ago.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, maybe not 25.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: What year is it?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: I would say like maybe let's say 20, no, 2006.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: Let me just tell you.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: People come to this podcast for the jokes, but they stay for the estimations.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: Let me tell you, when I'm editing these, I listen to myself ramble and warble through stories.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: And the self-loathing that I call people with you are so wise to hire someone to do this for you so you don't have to listen to it over and over.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I can't handle it.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have your ego strength to listen to it.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, trust me, I'm chipping away at it one 23-minute episode at a time.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: So in the early early aughts, uh, we were at, and by we, I mean my parents, my grandparents, my so my dad's parents, my sister, and myself.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't remember if if Jason was on the scene at this point.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: Irrelevant, to be honest.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: So we were celebrating my sister's graduation from university.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: There's a bit of a backstory here that you need to know is that the joke with my sister and I is that I am the favorite.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: And also it's not a joke.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a joke.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: So much as it's an observation.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's just I'm just collecting information.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's all I'm saying it's a datum.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's a datum.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's all it is.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm the favorite to my grandparents, right?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: There's always this.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you know, like I am the favorite one of all of all the grandchildren, really.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I think any family listening to this would agree with me.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: And if you agree with me and or have any other comments, you can email me personally at Canadianblade6969 at gmail.com.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you in advance.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it's important to remember that.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: Something my grandparents went on and on about forever was the fact that I play piano.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like there was never a family gathering when my grandmother was not like, hey, Evie, can you just play us something?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: Play us something.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: And it's always like, oh, I never had something memorized, or I never wanted to.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: How about that for an answer?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: I never wanted to sit down at the old piano and play in front of like what am I gonna play?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like Mozart, no one wants to hear that.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so something public domain, something public domain, Christmas music, good king went sex.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: There's there's no no one wants to hear that.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I would say, Oh, I don't have anything prepared.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: And they they would often say, like, oh, just play twinkle twinkle little star.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'm like cranky because I'm like, you right?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: You don't even want to hear me play something good.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: You just want me to, you just want me to bend to your authoritarian puppet to you.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a pawn.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: Dance, monkey.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: Dance, monkey.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: That's all it was.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: So the joke is that like stick.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: So the me playing piano was kind of the thing I I was known for to my grandparents, and they came to recitals and stuff.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: So this time we're at something for my sister.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: We're at her graduation from university for her four-year bachelor of business with a focus on human resources.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: My family had rented, um, I don't know if it was an I wouldn't say an Airbnb.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: We rented someone's house.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like Airbnb wasn't like a thing around here at that point.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: So it was we rented someone's house.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_02: They knew about it, so that's fine.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's helpful, yeah.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: One of the one of the one of the defining characteristics of a rental.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's true.
• 6:49
  unknown: Yeah.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: Consent.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't do consent.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: And we were sitting there, and it was probably between the ceremony and a celebration of sorts, let's say.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: So we're back there, we're talking, we're sitting in the living room, and my grandfather was chatting with Heather and I.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: And we're sitting here.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: My grandfather was known as just kind of sitting there and telling stories.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: And let me say he was a great storyteller, so I did unfortunately not inherit that from him.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: But he uh he would have already got to the point and wrapped this episode up by now, and it would have been beautiful.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: And his intro would have been great, it would have been really great.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: Rest in peace, Grandpa.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: Rest in peace, Grandpa King.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so we're sitting there talking, and there was a painting in the living room, and it was an oil painting of two wolves.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: And my grandfather was.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Howling at the moon?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: Was it like that?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like it was one of those, like it's a snow, you know, it's a snowy cliff.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: They're on they're howling at the moon, two wolves.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so keep in mind, I can't let you forget, we are there to celebrate Heather.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: We've spent all afternoon in some auditorium, right?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like we've had pictures taken with her holding her, you know, degree, all this kind of stuff.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: So fast forward to this, my grandfather's like, Do you like that painting?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: And my sister says, Yeah, sure.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's it's nice.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: Wolves.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's your painting.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: And my grandfather just sits there, kind of, you know, introspectively, just sitting there, kind of contemplating something.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: And he says, You know, I am so uh blessed.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: I have a beautiful family, I have two beautiful granddaughters, uh, one who plays piano beautifully, and one who loves wolves.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Was he trying?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: No, totally serious, not the trying of the country, just he was totally serious.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: He was totally serious.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: And the look on my sister's face, I think we're still trying to pick her jaw off the ground.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Fabulous.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: So the joke to this day is Heather loves wolves.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: I have bought her countless wolf ornaments and wolf figurines.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: If I see someone out in the wild with one of those fleece jackets with the big wolf on the back, I'm snapping a picture and sending it to her.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I'll say, You want me to rip this jacket off of this person and send it to you?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: Because I will.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: Good for you keeping that middle finger prominent and erect.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: That's the older sister's creed.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's our job.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's what's what we need to do.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: Fantastic.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so the funny thing is, we've told our grandma this story and she finds it hilarious.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like we it's such a family joke at this point.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we, those of us who were there that are still remaining on this earth, we're still getting mileage out of this joke.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Of course.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sure your sister thinks it's as funniest she ever did.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: I actually I think there was a time when she really embraced it and thought it was funny.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's kind of worn, it's kind of worn.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: The sheen has worn off.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: But I I am nothing if not a fire stoker.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: I will keep that going on.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: So my question for you, Nick, is do you have a story about you, preferably you or somebody else, where there's a moment in your life where someone totally missed the big headline of your life and instead fixated on one random detail, and now that detail is your or their entire personality?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I I have one.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and this is a little more my sister bullying me, but perhaps in the in the realm of older sisters bullying, this is this is appropriate.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: So uh my whole family used to watch Saturday Night Live during the early 90s.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'd have Saturday Live has several heydays, but this was one of the sort of periods that it was really good.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: And there was a very, very funny episode that Rob Morrow hosted from Northern Exposure, and the musical guest was Nirvana, and it was just one of those very complete episodes.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: And there was this incredible skit where this guy is out with a friend and a woman that he wants to impress, and the friend is just chatting easily, and the guy keeps thinking of jokes to share that are too late.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so he's always like a minute late, and he'll have a punchline, and they'll go, What?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, Oh yeah, I was just saying, I was just saying it would be funny if blah, blah, blah.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, Oh, yeah, that's funny.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then they keep talking and he keeps getting a minute late, and he's beside himself, and he gets up and goes to the bathroom, like with his head down because he's so sad.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: And he walks in and in the bathroom, there is a condom machine and a time machine.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: The guy like thinks about it for a second and then puts his quarters in the time machine, and then he steps out of the time machine a second later and puts like 80 more quarters in the condom machine.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: He grabs the condoms, then goes in, and then cut back to the restaurant.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And now he's on time with all of the jokes because he's back in time.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: So he's just nailing it, and everybody's in love with him.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: So my sister's joke for me as a kid was that I was always thinking of punchlines too late, which was true because I was younger than everybody and trying desperately to be funny.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so one of the things was the guy said, Oh yeah, I've been to Boston, and the guy goes, Clam chowda, which is that like sort of Boston accent.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so every time I was late on a joke for, I don't know, 10 years, my sister would look at me and go, clam chowder.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just like, oh my God.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: If you weren't the scariest adult human being I've ever met in my whole life, I would fucking disembowel you for treating me this way.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: But my sister is nothing if not somebody who knows how to get under people's skin and stay there.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: So so that's one where I think uh my family or a member of my family who was under policed um managed to find a part of my personality and yeah and drill down onto it.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um that did you know?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, please.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Nope, you go ahead.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, like, did you ever have so the music thing is like it sounds like the grandparents really latched on to that?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Latched onto that.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything that like I s maybe I don't know, I didn't have grandparents.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: Did like, did they know you enough?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Or was it like they see you three times a year and that's the one thing they know about you?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: They I saw I was pretty close with both sets of grandparents, like probably maybe both grandmothers for sure.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: So they they would probably see me more than that.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: So they they did know me, like they knew I was, you know, I loved to perform when I was younger.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: I was a ham, you know, I was always like they came to all my concerts at high school, and like I really do believe it takes a special person to sit through a high school music concert, period, you know, really like kind of.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: Although I say this as a person with a with a high school age nephew, which I've never had before.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm really excited to go through to go to all the stuff he has, and I can't make it to most of it, but like he played in his first band show the other day at an open mic, and it's the kind of thing where like he did an incredible job for a 15-year-old, like an incredible job.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: If it were not my nephew, would I necessarily want to be hanging out at an open mic on a school night, like watching teenagers I don't know play?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, not necessarily.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: But with him, it was just like, I don't know, man, like you know, you should play every night this week.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: Let me I can't wait to see what other covers you have under your nice.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: See, that's that's really cool.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: I wonder if it would be a different experience for you if he was honking away the tuba in a band, like a concert band.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great point because I find that insufferable in any context.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: You do, and you also hate show choirs, I remember.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: So if he was in a choir or a show choir or a band, I really think you'd have to dig deep if you wanted to support your nephew.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: I love that little motherfucker, but let me tell you, if he joined a show choir, you'd never talk to him again.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, not about that.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: That would be it.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Out of the will.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: It would just come up and it would, he would be invisible to me.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: And before anybody chimes in, I know how unhealthy that is for child development.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: I know that's the wrong thing to do, but I but I can't I can't have show choir in my life.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's not appropriate, it's poison.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: No, and as someone who on the business side of things is helping you, you know, currently shift things.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: We're trying to, you know, optimize your business so you can, you know, live your life.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to deal with you if there's show choir in your life.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm not re I'm not I'm not trained for that.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Another thing, and did you ever did you ever like teach a show choir?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: Was that ever part of your?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: No, we don't we don't have show choirs here.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's not really uh it's not really a thing.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like they're known as being like here, the vibe is that a show choir is a very American thing.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta say, that's one more vote for Canada, uh, as far as I'm concerned.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: That is one thing where you all have nailed it.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: And the fact that that's known as an American thing as opposed to like an upsetting rogue thing that happens at some high schools is really sad for me.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: But I have to say, in terms of since the original topic was, has anybody ever made anything your whole personality?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you, the thing about show choir is that people who are in show choir make it their whole personality voluntarily by themselves.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it's heartbreaking.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because you never need to ask someone if they're in a show choir.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: No, the there's a joke, right?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: How do you know someone's in a show choir?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: They'll tell you.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: Don't worry, they'll tell you.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: And you can say that about anything.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how do you know someone plays the flute?
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: Don't worry, they'll tell you.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: But are flautists that way?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Do they announce it to everybody all the time, or is it something that they allow people to slowly discover about them?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: That was the wrong instrument.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: I shouldn't have picked that one.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: What's the what's the like strutting peacock of the Oh drums.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Orchestra.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: Drums.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: Drums?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you don't have to tell someone you play.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, don't you don't have to ask if someone plays the drums, they're gonna tell you.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: But isn't that like the simplest instrument in the whole orchestra?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: You'd think so.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I do think, isn't it wrong?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: But it well, if you don't have any sense of rhythm or beat or like try and trust me, people don't.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: No, I believe that people don't have a sense of beat, but like also it's a fucking timpany.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: You hit it on the two and the four, am I wrong?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it depends on what your the music says.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so if it's Susa, you hit it on the one and the three.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's not like it's evens or odds, it's not a fucking IQ.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: But you have to be able to tune them and then you have to hit them properly, and then like you can't just like wail on it and then let it, you have to know when to mute it.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like you, like there's technique involved.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: When you describe it, it sounds intricate.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: It is.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: To do to do it properly, it is.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like performance where you say because this is here's a truism about rock music: a rock band can never be better than its drummer.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's the truth.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Agreed, 100%.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Is that true?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever been to like an orchestral performance here?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it was this had the makings of a great orchestra, but that timpani player.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: I have maybe it wasn't the timpani player's fault, but I did.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: I have a story for my 20th birthday.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: I was living back home with my parents at the time, or maybe I was home in the summer, I don't know.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: And there was uh an orchestra in a nearby city, not the one I'm currently living in, another city.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: And they were playing one of my favorite pieces all time, the Brahms Academic Festival Overture, which I know you don't know, and I just said words and you glazed over, but just ride this one out with me, okay?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's a beautiful piece of music, and I love it.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: Christmas music?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, okay, so it's not on any shows you've recently adopted.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's one of my favorites.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so I took myself to this concert for my birthday, like by myself.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, whatever.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: But I was I was two years into a four-year music degree.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like riding the elitism high, right?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, yeah, of course I'm going to the symphony by myself, right?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I go and I sit there by myself.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: What a brag.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: What a well, trust me, this symphony was not worth bragging about.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: This orchestra was a shame.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it at some point, the orchestra, like obviously it's the conductor's job to keep everyone together.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: And at one point during this massive piece, one half of the like the left side of the orchestra was playing at a completely different tempo and part of the piece than the right side was.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember sitting in there and the amount like I had a physical reaction to this.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like all of a sudden, I'm just like, I don't know what to do.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just sitting here watching this and just being like, uh, they're like, are they gonna pull it together?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: Are they gonna, I don't know.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't know whose fault it was, Nick.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know whose fault it was.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: It was yours for going, for going, go, but yeah.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: I had I had such such tense energy sitting there in the audience that they felt something weird on stage and they were like, I don't know, something's going wrong, man.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: But like it was so noticeable and so awful.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then the conductor turned around at the end of it and went, happy birthday.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what city it was in.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: You were like, Welcome to Regina, dickhead.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I went to I went to Regina for my 20th.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: Regina Symphony Orchestra, yeah.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: There probably is one.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even know.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this was this was painful.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_02: And now, speaking of making things your whole personality, that to me is that orchestra's entire personality.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: That one terrible failure that they had.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, forgive me, but like, isn't that the one thing orchestras like I don't think you're supposed to have a bad night?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: You're supposed to start and finish at the same time.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's literally the goal of every piece of music is that like you start it together and you finish it together, and then that's you then that's it.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's the whole piece of music.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Was it like the conductor's fault?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: Was it one person's problem, or was this just this whole orchestra was just busting?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it was like it was like marbles on a skating rink.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like it, I don't even know.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone was everywhere.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: There was a moment, like, and I felt it shift.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I I remember the moment that it started shifting, and and it feels wobbly, and you're kind of like, Oh, oh no, they they can pull it back out.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, nope, nope, nope, they can't, and they can't, and they won't.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: They can't and they won't, and they didn't.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't remember how it ended.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like, did we stop and did the conductor cut everyone and then we started at like measure 85 altogether?
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't remember that, but I do remember it just it was very divided between the right and the left side of the of the orchestra.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: Really makes you reconsider J.K.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Simmons and Whiplash a little bit, doesn't it?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, maybe if somebody had thrown a chair at somebody in a few of those rehearsals, you wouldn't have been subjected to that on your birthday.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: It wouldn't have happened.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd like to think that if someone threw a chair at my grandfather during Heather's graduation, he would have remembered what he was there for.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: You said, I got two grandpas.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: One knows about his granddaughters and the other one hates chairs.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: And we should end it there.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: Speaking of productive personality, we should end it there.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Evelyn, excellent work, excellent prompt.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Take us home.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, everybody.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Nick, and welcome to the Whoa, sorry.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: Different different Guess what Nick never does?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Mess up?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh mess up where we are in the podcast.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm always crystal clear on which part of the podcast we're in, whether it's beginning or end.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, some of us are just reliving our orchestral days.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for listening today, everyone.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: And if you've made it this far, God bless you.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, Nick and I will Nick is currently conducting a pretty tight three pattern, if I may say so.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, that's not bad at all.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I'm gonna drop the ending outro music right about here.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: Some neighbors are besties.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Others quarrel bitterly.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Stuck together through geography.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: One of us has nukes, and the other has tokes.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's reversed.