Latest / LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships / #36: The Inspiring Story of a Young Woman Who - With the Encouragement of Her Parents - Refused to Let Her Learning Disability Define Her.

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#36: The Inspiring Story of a Young Woman Who - With the Encouragement of Her Parents - Refused to Let Her Learning Disability Define Her. · LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Sherry Jonas, and this is Launch.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: My guest today is Michelle Steiner.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Her story is such a powerful and inspirational example of what's possible when you don't let limitations define you.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Despite being told all the things she'd never do, Michelle has accomplished that and so much more.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: From a very young age, Michelle's parents instilled in her the resilience and confidence that whatever she set her mind on doing, she could accomplish.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: With their support and others as well, Michelle has created a full life.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to give too much away, but I'll say this.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Her journey is an inspiration to every parent raising a child with a learning disability.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: I am so pleased that Michelle shared her story, and I'm really excited for you to hear it.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Michelle, if you're watching or listening, you are truly an amazing woman, and I'm so grateful to have met you.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Michelle, I'm so glad you're here with me today.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for joining me.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you for having me here today.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to have this conversation.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Me too, me too.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Your story is so inspiring.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, despite being told that you had a learning disability, you've gone on to earn a degree, you've got married, you landed a great job, and now you're helping others by inspiring them with your journey.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I think you must be very proud of yourself.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you so much.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I I am very uh blessed to have all those achievements, but I could have done none of that without the support of family and friends and just the resources that are out there.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: I want to hear all about it.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so let's start, let's start from the beginning.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Take us back to when you were first diagnosed with your learning disability.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Specifically, how did that moment feel for you?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I can remember I was in kindergarten and I was very young, and I went to school like any other child.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: But and my parents just thought that, okay, this journey is just going to be like any other kid.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, my preschool teacher thought some things were going on, but they didn't really uh have that to diagnose anybody.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I was really struggling in the classroom.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I just really couldn't get tying my shoes, uh, dot to dot pages or writing my name.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I can just remember really being frustrated.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I was also scared too.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I when I heard the diagnosis, because my mom and dad told me that I had a learning disability and I was going to have to go to a different school.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, oh, they'll forget about it.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they didn't.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And sure enough, that that fall I had to repeat kindergarten in a different school, and I began to receive uh specialty instruction and accommodations uh along with all of that support.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just really difficult in those uh early years.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was very hard for me.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: So tell us about your learning disability.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: I have dyscalkelia, which is a math learning disability.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I also have visual perception issues that are in my brain, not in my eyes.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I have limited hand dexterity in both of my hands.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but when I was a child, we only knew about that.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I had a learning disability and visual perception.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: The hand dexterity did not get diagnosed until I was an adult.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: How did they miss that?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: That was one of the things I don't think they understood a lot of that as a kid.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: I can just remember the only other maybe therapy that I had outside of uh was school, outside of speech therapy and of course the learning uh support classes was speech therapy.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have occupational therapy.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And now a lot of our kids were so much aware that when they go in there, not not just learning disabilities, not just ADHD, not just maybe even intellectual disability, but sometimes even kids who are blind might have issues with hand dexterity and how that might impact them.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of uh services now that they offer, but we didn't know very much about hand dexterity at that age.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And some some of the other things my mom and dad didn't realize how they were going to manifest uh with the visual perception.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: That that didn't happen until I wasn't a uh a teenager as well.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: So how did your parents handle it?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: My parents were amazing with that.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: They were the ones that went to the meetings.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: They were, I think it was hard for them at first to understand because I think they had a limited view maybe on what they knew about um learning support services.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh whenever they went to school, um, some of them didn't even have classes like that.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And other ones, or my my dad that went there, I mean, they didn't do very much with with people that had disabilities.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: You were just kind of it was more like a babysitting service rather than okay, we're going to go in and teach this child how they learn best and give them the tools that they need to succeed in life.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that it was hard for them, but they knew for me to go and be successful in my life, they were going to have to work with the school.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And my mom and dad always worked with them.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, if my teacher had a concern, they would call she would call my parents.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if uh my parents had a concern, they would call uh the school.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And they really worked together.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And they explained to me that I had a learning disability and that my brain worked differently, and that I learned differently.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I can remember sometimes it was hard though.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: We had a lot of long, tearful homework sessions, and but my mom and dad didn't give up on me.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: They made me go to school even whenever we studied and they knew I was going not going to do well on a test.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And they made me go to school even if I was having problems with my peers.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it was that um determination and that uh awareness that that really helped me to be able to um succeed.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um a lot of parents believe that having a learning disability limits their child's education or their independence, but your parents they didn't.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I I want to know a little bit more how they supported you because you know our listening audience has a lot of issues with their adult children, and learning disabilities is one of them.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, what what strength, what uh resources did your parents pull from in order to be so supportive and and almost to be able to push you through this?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of the strength that did come from that uh was focusing on what I was good at.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that was uh something that um that that they really did.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't think I was good at anything in second or third grade, though.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they found us my dad found a story that I wrote about a dinosaur.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, wow, this is really good.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what really encouraged me to read and to write more, and that became my world.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: So they really focused on my strengths and it was also setting me up for success, especially whenever I was in high school.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was doing really well with having all regular ed classes except for math and a resource room.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I they did not pressure me to take a foreign language, they didn't pressure me to go and take advanced placement classes or to take um the AP or things or like the SATs or things like that.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: But they incurred, I was responsible for being successful in those academic classes.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: I had to have my homework done, I had to, um, didn't have to have perfect grades, but I had to do my very best in life.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's one of the things that was the key thing.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: They said when I talked to them about that, uh, they said, well, we were setting you up for success.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: That was our goal, was to really set you up for that.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it was also, well, looking into different resources that were out there as an adult.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: What are some different things that you you could do or you might be interested in?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I can I can remember there was one time where there was maybe a concern, well, what was I going to do after I was done with school?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I can remember somebody saying, Oh, well, maybe get on SSI.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And my dad said, I don't want my child on that unless she needs it.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I have not utilized that.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I know there's people that that do, but that was not something that my parents wanted for me.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: But rather they wanted me to be somebody who was independent and was able to uh be successful in life.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that that might not look the same as uh another person, and that's okay.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: But as long as I was trying my best, then that was all right.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: I love your parents.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um so tell me a little bit more about your learning disability.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like how does it affect you right now in your life?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm just kind of curious.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's not something I've ever heard of.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure it's not very common.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, maybe it is, but it's not very common for me.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I want our our audience to know a little bit more about how your learning disability impacts you on a day-to-day basis as an adult.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, as an adult, if at my job I work as a teacher's aide, and all the kids know or they will soon find out when school starts.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do not ask me to help you with math because I am not good at doing that, even at a very basic level.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can work I can do it somewhat at a basic level to get by, but I'm not really able to teach anybody else.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was even working in a first grade classroom and I I um, spoiler alert, got it got a problem wrong.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I had a little girl that said, Why did you get this wrong?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Okay, I'm not that great at math.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And she goes, you know, there's grind up school for that.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Oh, we we we tried that.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: I and I work with seventh graders in middle school, and I'm it's beyond what I what I can do.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm very much an advocate that I cannot help you with that.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's other things I can do, but not that.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: It also impacts me with budgeting.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's really hard for me to know how much money we have coming in, how much money we need to pay out for bills.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: That can be a real challenge for me.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, leaving a tip at a restaurant and try to figure out that percent is really hard.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm at the store, it's really difficult for me to use a debit card or a credit card to know um how much I am spending.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big thing, too.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's always a surprise to me when I get to the register.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: But if you hand me$20, I can get a range of what we're working with.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, the visual perception, I'm not able to drive because of my disability.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I have that chance to walk, and I'm able to get rides from other people when I live in a central location.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Another part of my disability is I confuse my right from my left, and I cannot tell time on an analog clock.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I also the hand dexterity with having that new thing, it affects my handwriting.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: I do not have very neat penmanship, and I um rely a lot on typing as well for that.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: I also struggle with things like opening up doors, um, locking doors, unlocking doors, opening up jars, uh, trying to uh screw off lids can be hard.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, twist ties.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um if you give me a manual can opener, it's like operating a spaceship.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I have an electric one.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: And just those uh little things can really um do impact my life.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: So you you're married now.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm sure your husband opens the jars for you and does a lot of things for you.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: But was there ever a time where you weren't living with your parents and you were on your own?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, there was a time when I did that.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: I right after community college, I was able to go out on my own for a while.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that was probably one of that was a great experience for me because I was working temp jobs and I had to learn how to be independent and learn all those things to do that.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that really helped me to grow as a person.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it was hard when I had to move back in with my parents for financial reasons, but I wanted to be out on my own again.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: I knew that that's something I wanted to do.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I also think as time has gone on, we've now as a society have more um opportunities or more um universal design things for not just people with disabilities, but for a lot of other people too with technology, and that helps me to be independent.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: So if my husband's not home, I'm able to open up a jar by myself because I have a jar opener that I can do that.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: I got an electric can opener when I lived out on my own, and we still have one to this day.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm able to use that.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I just think a lot of the technology that that is coming out has really improved uh my life.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, typing is another way.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've yet to have an editor that's asked for a piece that has been handwritten, and if they ever did, I don't think they'd be able to read it.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think that's the important part too.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I there are some things I do need help on, and learning to ask for help and support is important, but I also have to know how to do things on my own because sometimes there may not always be a person around to do that.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I have to figure out a way to be able to get that job done.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: So were there ever moments early on where people discouraged you from, let's say, academic, your academic ambitions?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I can remember.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I wanted to go to college whenever I was in high school.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: I uh I also understood it, it was definitely going to be a challenge.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: I knew with my math, but I wasn't alone in those fears.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: I had a learning support teacher who told me, I don't think you can handle college because of your math.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: And she recommended it a trade school.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if I would have gone into a trade school, it would have been 10 times harder than going into college if you would have put me in carpentry.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I could measure something.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: I probably would cut my fingers off in a culinary class with that.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I certainly couldn't cut somebody's hair very well, and I doubt I could drive a police car, get out doing that.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: I just knew that that wasn't the right place for me.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I decided, okay, I'm going to go on to college.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: I was connected with um office for vocational rehabilitation, and I had to be tested for having a learning disability all over again.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And my scores were so low that the psychiatrist who evaluated me told me, I don't think you're going to go beyond community college.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I get to community college and I had even more stigma.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: I had a professor who told me, uh, you know, whenever I've talked about job choices after college, she said, Well, I think you're going to have really limited job choices because of your difficulties with math.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: She gave the example if I did an art project with kids, I wouldn't know how much paper to use.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that has happened, but I've learned how to uh work with that.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I also had some people thought that disability accommodations were cheating.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: I can remember I had um an advice, uh professor that I asked for a calculator in a math class, and she said, Oh no, we we use our brains in this class, not a calculator.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: And other students were saying things like, oh, they have learning disabilities and they get all the answers to them.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: And um, that wasn't true.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I can just remember it was really hard to uh want to be able to advocate for myself and use a lot of those services.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I was able to graduate with an associate's degree in early childhood education, uh, and I always wanted more for myself.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: And whenever I move back in with my parents, I decided I'm gonna go to university.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was there, I realized that there was always going to be people in the background that are going to say things, and I can't control that.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: But what I learned was if I find a program that has the least amount of math and science possible, has a program that I love, and I use those disability accommodations and I advocate for myself, I can be successful.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I was able to make Dean's list for a semester, and I graduated with a bachelor's degree, despite people telling me I couldn't do it.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Unbelievable.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Unbelievable.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: I just I get shivers thinking about how you just kept pushing yourself and you didn't listen to what anybody said.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: I just I find that honestly the truly inspiring.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: So can you share?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think you've kind of touched on a few things, but um, what was something that you might have failed at?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because just even in my previous conversation, you know, resilience means the ability to bounce back.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of kids with no learning disabilities struggle with resiliency, and yet you have this inner fortitude.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: So can you recall a time where you struggled or failed at something?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it was at school or a job, and you were able to kind of bounce back even stronger.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think that one of the times I really failed was I had a job right after university, and it was it was one I probably shouldn't have took because it was a different one than I interviewed for.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it was in a it was in a payroll department of an office.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously it didn't work out for me.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the job just I I stuck with that job for about six months because I knew how to be nice and to be, you know, to work with other people.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like I knew the social aspect of how we work in an office, but I couldn't get the technical aspect.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I really didn't, I and that was hard whenever I did that.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: And the agency I worked with also thought that I was making those mistakes on purpose to get unemployment.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to, um, we got an attorney, and sure enough, I was granted unemployment.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: But it was really hard to find a job because I'm thinking, okay, I've I've had this job, I failed at this.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: I I had a couple other ones after university that didn't work out.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I just wondered, okay, where is that purpose and where what's going to happen?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I can remember I went on vacation and I applied at the school that I work at now.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, I bet they're just going to put me on the sub list.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it'll be 15 years I've been working with the same uh employer.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think that has made, and I was very honest with them because it was still so early on with the job that I had to be honest that I was let go.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: And they were okay with that, uh, with that, with that.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's made me find my place.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't stay in something just because it was comfortable, and I didn't stay in a place just because, oh, if I have this job, I don't know what I'm going to do.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: It kind of forced me out a lot of being complacent and to find what just might be a part of my purpose.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: Incredible.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: So tell me exactly, because I'm I I'm getting a I'm getting a sense of what your job is, but tell me what you do every day.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a paraprofessional, a teacher's aide.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: So what I do is I go into the classroom and I help to assist the teacher in running the room.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: I also help work with students uh that just can't get a concept.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: I help to reinforce uh reinforce some of whatever the teacher is doing.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes it is clerical work.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it might be um just helping a student too uh with um helping them get to like we're from point A to point B.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh sometimes that can be a thing, but I also show my students how to advocate.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's a big thing too, because a lot of times I'll have a student and they're they're afraid to ask for help.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like hearing a recording of myself at that age.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: I hate having my disability.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I didn't have it.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I get to be that reassuring voice that tells them it's not a bad thing to have a disability.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I show them how to ask for help.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times they're like, Well, I'm afraid to go up to my the teacher.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't understand what's going on.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I say, Well, I'll go up with you, but I need you to ask for help.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: And before you know it, you have students that are not afraid anymore.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: They're asking for help, they're asking for that support.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I often say, My students one day will leave me.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope they achieve everything that they want, but for so many of them, their disability is going to stay.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so important that with that, that they know how to handle that and they know how to advocate for themselves.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you teach them that.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: What a gift.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: What a gift.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: I was just because I was gonna ask you, like, how has your personal experiences uh shaped how you teach your kids?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I can see that you obviously just have this incredible level of empathy, but you also don't let them, you almost do to them or for them what your parents did for you.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, because that's what I um definitely try to do.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: I try to really encourage them because sometimes I'll hear from a lot of my students, oh, I'm on this medicine.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to be in this class.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll say, Well, you know, that medicine you're on is a good thing.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it it'll it'll take you to what you but it's it's only gonna take you so far.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: You're one that has to put in all the hard work along with it.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: And other times, you know, students might say, Well, I can't go to college because I'm too, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not very smart.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I say, well, college, I think you are smart.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: College might be an option or it could, it's whatever you want to do in your in in your life.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have to make those decisions uh for for what you want.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll even have students that'll tell me, why do we have to learn this?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not somebody that tells them, oh yeah, you're going to use this in your everyday life because I don't know if they are or not.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: But what I'll tell them is I'll say well for right you may when you're an adult, you may decide you're not going to use this.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: But right now we're trying to give you but right now you need to do this and when you become a grown up that that'll be your determination on um what you want to make out of it.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: So what skills strengths hobbies do you lean into most and and how did you how did you cultivate those?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the things I love to do are reading uh writing and photography are some of those things that I love to do.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I can remember developing a love for reading and writing uh for my family very early on.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: My dad would read me a story every night when I was little so I learned to love books and people will say oh that I read with such expression and they really wanted to encourage that in the schools.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I I loved to do that.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then I also loved to write writing was always a big thing for me.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: It became my world especially when I was being bullied because I also struggled socially and then whenever I was a teenager I found a group outside of our school district that was an arts group and I started to write for their newsletter and participated in other activities.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I found that acceptance I could shed that layer of being an outcast that followed me.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then I also found an adult writing group outside of that group uh once I transitioned out of there.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the people in that group were just a couple years are just a couple years older than I am and they really encouraged me to write about having a disability and I thought oh no I'm not going to write about that.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's way too personal.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I wrote some really bad poetry and some other things that um I wouldn't want to read today.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then the photography was also really encouraged as well.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: I can remember there was an older woman who saw my pictures from prom and I took a picture of a tree and all my peers asked me well why'd you take a picture of of a tree and this woman looked at and said ah this shows perspective and she could see that potential before I could but I put that on the shelf for a while I also had other friends who were like oh yeah you're an artist like I can't draw I can't draw a straight line I mean and they said you can do it you you just have to find what what you're good at or I mean you can do it you just may not do one thing particularly well so I put that on the shelf until many years uh later my husband and I were at a wedding and we stopped at a cemetery and I took a picture of an angel and I posted it online and I had a friend that said wow this is really good.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now my friend who said this is was very particular about things.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if she said something was good she really meant it was good.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I entered it into um an art show and I got an honorable mention and that just encouraged me to be able to um enter more shows and also I started to notice that when I'm well I'm not driving I get that chance to stop and smell the roses and I can notice details that other people will miss.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: And people will say well you bring out the details of a flower that I would miss and I'll take that picture and I'll be able to post them on um social media and I also have a blog called Michelle's Mission where I do my writing and I also post a lot of um pictures for my walks and things that I see.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know it's funny you mentioned something about uh how how it helps you to create or or seek out a community and I'm a big proponent of you know young adults getting out of their house andor their room and finding you know people out in the world that they can connect to because I do feel so strongly about community and connection and I see that it really did serve you well.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: But how did you know how did you have that inner like that self-awareness and that fearlessness to go out there?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well I knew that the people that I was in high school with were not going to be the most of them I mean there were some very nice people that that I did go to school with too a few of them but I I understood there wasn't that connection so I realized I could join clubs I could do a lot of things and that that was okay but I wasn't really going to be able to find who my my people were who my tribe was outside of that.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I started to look for resources outside of school and I can remember my dad found the adult writing group because he heard about it on the radio at his job or or somewhere and I got he connected me with with that and gave me the number but I I went there and that was just I knew that these people had the same interest that I did and we could form a bond and we could form a connection and 30 some years later we still meet once a month to talk about our writing and we're in each other's lives.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's it's looking out for what resources are in your community is so key.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: Finding if you if you like art finding where art places are as that's where I met my husband was at at the art center.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Totally unexpected that that we met uh if you like to write sometimes local libraries have places with that but there's also other things people can do too if you like sports I mean contacting maybe your YMCA uh which I'd love to go there and work out as well but I mean there they have a lot of sports programs or seeing maybe if there's like a ball field or uh maybe an indoor gym or something that you might do or if you like um video games seeing if there's places where you have like meetup groups and as much as we definitely love getting out too sometimes it's also I found a lot of places online with people that had disabilities that I can connect with as well.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a that's a good option uh to do too.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: Was there a specific turning point in your life that you that you can reflect on that made such an impact on you I think one of the biggest turning points had to be whenever I was in school I had a student teacher who believed in me.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: She told me that I could go to college and I I was so amazed when I heard that I thought college isn't that for smart people and she said you know how to study and then I was really amazed that she told me that there were people that had learning disabilities that were at university and were taking remedial classes and I that is what really gave me all that hope.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't remember what her name is but I certainly remember when things got really hard at school that's the voice that I heard in the back of my head that I could do it.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: What you know I always want to leave parents with some some um actionable steps, suggestions, tools that they can take away from and apply when if they're in the same situation.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: So what are three things that parents can do or say to encourage and and build confidence and resilience in their kids who are dealing with learning disabilities?
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: One of the first things I always say is to focus on their strengths focus on what they're good at because everybody does generally tend to go to things that they like to do and they're good at and the things that we're not so good at we like to try to maybe not have to do those any more than we have to so I think it's it's focusing well what are they good at I was good at reading I was good at writing so we we went from that point.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's it's having those strengths I also think it's asking your child what their plans are and that's a big thing too because I can remember with my family after community college I did live on my own for a little while and my mom and dad asked me do you want to move out on your own eventually or would you like us to um have it work it out where you lived here and I wanted to go out on my own.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: I I really wanted to do that and they gave me that encouragement and that little push on that but it was asking well what are your plans because sometimes we we may not always know what we want or and that gets the conversation started too I think that's an important thing to have that and I also think it's to encourage people kids to be independent is definitely a big thing too finding things that they can do uh the that you're able to do on your own and encourage them all right maybe you can't drive I can take you to your to your job but you need to have something to do for for work or go to school maybe you're not able to do um math very well I can help you with that but it's up to you to be responsible uh with that as well and I also think my parents my dad always told me the success doesn't always come in the package that you expect but sometimes it comes in something even better.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know I always love to end on a positive note and you have said a lot of wonderful things.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just sitting here in awe of you Michelle honestly I what an inspiration but what would you say to their parents who worry that um they worry about their children being held back because of this learning disability I mean you've given some great advice but there are some parents it's it's it's uh it almost it defines them and you have not let your learning disability define you so what is what is your driving force that one piece of advice you can say if there were a room full of a hundred parents all thinking my child has a learning disability they'll never be independent what can you say to them?
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: What I would tell them is to meet their child where they where they are at is is a big thing too um everything it may not my story may not be the the same for for everybody too but there is something that everybody can do and if we meet them where they're at and it maybe it has to start whenever they're really young and just telling them okay you have a learning disability this is your brain might work differently but not letting it be that determining factor of of your hopes and your dreams encouraging them to be able to find a way with meeting them where they're at for example if uh somebody is wondering well what am I going to do with school I know that there might be I I want to do this but I don't know if I can go to college or I don't know if I can go to a trade school it's meeting them where they're at and saying all right you this is what you'd like to do these are the programs that are out here that can help you get to that point.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: And this is what here's the reality of it you may struggle with this but think about having a plan on um how you want to uh be able to go about that speaking of plans dreams goals what are your what's in store for you what do you have on the book I definitely love to increase okay yeah I love to increase my blog I think that's something as I go to be able to help other people I would also like to uh be able to write a book on my own I have two and I have stories published and two anthologies and a third one coming out this fall but I would like to someday have my uh a book of my own as well oh I think you have a great story in you I really do Michelle thank you so much for sharing your experiences with with our listener your journey is such a powerful reminder that a learning disability is no excuse no excuse and it does not define you it does not define what's possible for you and the way you have built your life I just I'm honestly I'm I'm touched by your your strength and fortitude and I think you are going to inspire many parents they're going to look at their kids with a completely through a completely different lens after today.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well thank you yeah I'm so glad we had this conversation I'm so glad you reached out and I will put all of your contact information I I read your blog I look at your artwork I think you are so so truly talented but there's nothing more inspiring than the person that you have become so well done Michelle well done yeah thank you so much well we'll be in you know what reach out let's stay in touch let's see how things go and uh again honestly thank you I hope today's episode gave you valuable insights and actionable steps that will help you guide your young adult to launch successfully into adulthood.
• 35:36
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• 35:43
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• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: And if there's something you want to ask me I invite you to join Launch Advice my weekly publication where I answer one question from parents just like you.
• 35:57
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• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: And remember no one ever said parenting is easy especially when you're raising an adult.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: Talk to you soon