Latest / Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh / The Power of Reinvention

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The Power of Reinvention · Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh

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Hi, everyone.
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It's another episode of Chatting With The Experts where I
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speak with phenomenal women.
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Did I say phenomenal?
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They're amazing.
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Amazing women from Africa, from the Caribbean, and in the diaspora who
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share my mission, which is to educate, empower, and encourage women globally.
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Today's topic is sometimes your greatest setback is the beginning
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of your greatest success.
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My guest will be joining me in a few minutes, and she said, "What if your
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greatest or what if the setback you're trying to recover from is actually
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preparing you for your greatest purpose?" She's gonna share how overcoming dyslexia
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and being fired from her dream job, as well as navigating life's unexpected
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turns, has worked in her favor.
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She's a nationally recognized thought leader, a counselor, educator,
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entrepreneur, and author of three books, including Private Practice in 30 Days, and
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she's had more than 25 years of experience in the mental health profession.
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She's dedicated her career to helping women and mental health professionals
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overcome obstacles, embrace reinvention, and build lives of greater purpose,
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impact, and financial freedom.
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There's so much I can say about her, as well as the fact that
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she's a neurodivergent professional who has overcome so much.
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I'll let her join me right now so that we can talk a lot about this.
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So with that, welcome to Chatting With The Experts, Dr. Tanisha Guy.
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Hello.
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Hello, hello, hello.
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Your bio's impressive.
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I know I've left out quite a lot.
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Fill us in.
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Fill us in.
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Fill us in before we start.
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Sure.
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Um, where do I start?
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So I have been in the mental health field for the last 26 years.
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I've been teaching as a professor for the last 21 years.
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I've been in private practice for the last 17 years, and about six years
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ago, I decided to take a leap of faith and transition outside of the
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mental health field, but to really focus more on helping clinicians
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build their entrepreneur dreams.
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Wow.
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You decided to take a leap of faith and help clinicians.
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Why?
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There's something that must have made you do that.
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Absolutely.
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I remember when I started my private practice, I knew how
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to be a clinician, but I didn't know how to be a business owner.
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Mm-hmm.
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And I didn't know that there was a difference that was required.
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I didn't know that I would need to start the business and help my clients and
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focus on my clinical skills in that area, and then switch hats, like literally
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take off that hat and put on another hat so that I could function as a CEO.
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So I made a lot of mistakes.
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Mm. Uh, I wasted money.
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I made decisions based off of the clinical background that I had,
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and not actually learning what it meant to build a thriving business.
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So because I had that experience, I wanted to make sure other clinicians
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didn't go through the same thing, because I know our clinical programs
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prepare us to be clinicians, but they don't prepare us to be business owners.
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And so I wanted to make sure that clinicians knew that outside of
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your clinical training, there are other ways that you can monetize
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your expertise so that you're not just trading time for money.
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And because I didn't know another way to teach them this, because it's
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not taught in our programs, I decided that would be my charge, is to make
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sure clinicians know how to build thriving clinical private practices
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that prevent them from burning out.
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So that's what is known as sometimes the power of reinvention, and
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that's what I'm seeing in you.
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You put on a new hat.
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Absolutely.
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Let's talk about that, the power of reinvention, because that's
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needed more and more these days.
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Absolutely, and it was a difficult transition for me because as long
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as I can remember, I wanted to be a educator and I wanted to be a clinician.
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And so I went to school, as they said, I got good grades, and then I landed
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what I thought was my dream job.
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And I saw myself retiring from academia.
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I just thought I was gonna be a professor with tenure, and then I would retire and
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do whatever I wanted to do afterward.
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But that's not what happened.
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And seven years into teaching in academia, the faculty members were all
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let go because the university was going through a transition, and there was no
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warning sign, and it was unexpected.
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And so I was not prepared to be unemployed, nor did I see it.
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And so it was in that moment when I realized that I needed to pivot,
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and the idea of me retiring from academia was no longer something that
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I wanted because I felt as though I couldn't control my own fate.
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Even though I was doing every single thing that I was supposed to do, uh, it still
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ended in a way in which I didn't expect.
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And so I determined at that time that I would control my fate and I would
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build my own business and I would then teach others how to build theirs.
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And so you have.
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So this is titled Your Greatest Setback is the Beginning of Your Greatest Success.
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So let's talk about how that setback became your success.
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What are the things that you have done that you know has been successful, and
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how you've helped others with that?
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Absolutely.
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Even though that that was my setback personally, it became my setup for
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the comeback because instead of me focusing all of my energies at working
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at a university, I decided to focus my energies on building my practice.
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But what building my practice taught me was, it taught me
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how to become a business owner.
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Mm-hmm.
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So I was no longer moving in the capacity of just a clinician, and so understanding
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what that meant, the type of decisions that, would benefit the business
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overall helped me shift from just being the clinician to the business owner.
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So even though it was a setback losing my job, it greatly benefited
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me because it allowed me to move into entrepreneurship full time.
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And moving into entrepreneurship full time was extremely scary, but I knew
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that I was willing to do that instead of going to go find another job where I
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could potentially be let go at any time.
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So that definitely, uh, that experience greatly impacted my ability to
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then move forward and start helping other clinicians do the same thing.
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Start building their private practice, moving outside of their comfort
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zone, pushing past the imposter syndrome, and really being able to
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see themselves as more than just a clinician, but also as a business owner.
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I know one of the things you've done is, um, you're into mental health.
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Mm-hmm.
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And when I, when, when I spoke with you, when I read your bio,
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I know you've overcome dyslexia.
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Yes.
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Yes, absolutely.
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And, and I say I've overcome it, but it's a struggle every day.
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Mm-hmm.
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And the way I found out that I have a learning disability is I've always
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known that I learn differently.
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I didn't know how, but I knew I learned differently.
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I knew numbers and I were not friends, and I was in my master's program,
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actually in my last semester, and my, faculty advisor said, "I wanna meet
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with you." And so I thought she wanted to meet with me to tell me about how
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amazing the paper was that I had written.
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That's not how the conversation went.
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Mm-hmm.
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She brought me in her office and she looked and she says, "Do
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you have a learning disability?"
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And I paused and thought, "I'm about to graduate this semester with a master's
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degree, and you're asking me do I have a learning disability?" Mm-hmm.
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And even though that was the question she asked me, what I
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heard was, "Are you stupid?"
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And that wasn't the question, and that's not what she said, but that's
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how I interpreted what I heard.
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And so I told her, "No, or at least I don't think so." And then she started
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pointing out things in my writing that she had noticed, patterns and
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styles, and she says, "Well, I think you need to get tested for dyslexia."
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No one had ever in my entire life- Mm … asked me if I had a learning disability.
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And so once I was able to get past the shock, I went and got tested, and it was
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probably the best thing that I'd ever done because it helped me actually understand
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why my brain works the way it works and why I read numbers and why I write the
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way I write in terms of maybe I know that cat is C-A-T, but I might write it C-T-A.
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Mm-hmm.
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And so I no longer question what is happening.
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I understand it.
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And because I understand now how my brain works, I can intervene.
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So when it comes to writing something, most people can just write it one time
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and move on, but I have to write it and then read it again and then read it
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again, sometimes four times, to make sure that it's actually written correctly.
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So it definitely was an eye-opener for me.
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Major setback 'cause she told me I had a learning disability, but from
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finding that out, it helped me be able to actually make it through
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my dissertation and then continue to move on to pursue other degrees.
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So that's one of the setbacks that became a success for you.
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Absolutely.
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And you can laugh about it, that's good.
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Yeah, I can laugh now.
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It wasn't funny then.
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I'm laughing not at your discomfort then, but just saying that the fact
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that you can laugh at it now is sometimes an encouragement to others.
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'Cause off camera we were talking about how so many times the difficulties,
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the setbacks, the disappointments, the hard times we've experienced, sometimes
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it's not just for us, it's for others.
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Ab-
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Absolutely.
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I talk openly about being neurodivergent, and now I tell
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people that it's my superpower.
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Mm. Yes, I have dyslexia, I have dyscalculia, but because my brain
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works the way it works, I also see patterns and strategies very
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differently than I think someone else who brain doesn't work that way.
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So it has now become my superpower.
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Absolutely.
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You know, and you say when you see patterns and, because, like, especially
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as business owners, and I know you coach, when, um, an, entrepreneur comes to you
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and they have been, you know, doing things a certain way, and you're able to look at
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what they're doing and see a pattern, see a strategy that they have never considered
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because you think in a different way.
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Mm-hmm.
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That's a plus.
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That's an advantage.
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Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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I, once I was able to see that, I shifted and said, "Oh, my goodness,
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I've been over here playing checkers, but now I need to learn how to play
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chess because I'm thinking two and three different moves ahead, and previously
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I was just trying to catch up."
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So that was definitely one of the benefits for me.
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Wow.
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Wow.
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Wow, I love that.
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Seeing things, you know, from a different perspective.
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Seeing, instead of seeing the glass as half full, half empty.
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Mm-hmm.
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I love that you say the glass is half full.
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Half full.
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So you've built a legacy through resilience, and I know that's one
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of the things that you teach or you encourage your mentees to do.
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How do you do that?
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So one of the things that I realized when I decided to shift from just focusing
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on clients as a clinician and started working with students and mentees on
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the coaching side, is that everything starts with mindset, or at least
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that's my experience, that's my belief.
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Mm-hmm.
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And how we process information and our perception about it.
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And so you can have two individuals experience the exact same thing and, and
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I always use someone getting a divorce.
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And I'll say, I've had clients who are going through a divorce, and one client is
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experiencing depression, she's crying, she doesn't think that she'll ever find love
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again, and it's a real struggle for her.
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The other client is getting a divorce, and she has thrown a divorce party,
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she is celebrating, and I can't get her to come back to therapy because
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she's having the time of her life.
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So how is it possible that a situation can be the same?
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They're both ending marriages, but one responds this way and
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the other responds the next.
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And so I tie it back into it's all about perceptions and beliefs.
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So moving forward, I made the decision that my perception had to, as you
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just said, see the glass as half full.
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Even when I'm not sure what is going to happen or the outcomes,
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my belief and my perception is tied to this is going to work out.
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So instead of me starting projects thinking, "Well, it might not work
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out," it's never it might not work out.
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In my head, it's gonna work out.
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I don't care what the end result is- Mm-hmm … it's still going to work out
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however it was supposed to work out.
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So being able to shift that perception has really helped me work with
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clients and mentees in talking about resilience, because people are more
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resilient when they're able to shift their beliefs and their perceptions
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about whatever that thing is they need to deal with at that particular time.
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You know what, Dr. Tanisha?
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I love that.
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Mm-hmm.
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No matter what the outcome is, it has worked out, you know?
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So you go in believing, whatever happens, it's worked out.
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yeah, like if it, if it's something that I'm really wanting it to be successful,
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but let's say it's not successful.
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It worked out the way it did because everything's a teachable moment.
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Mm-hmm.
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It's going to teach me to do something different so that I can
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get a different result the next time.
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So even that wasn't a loss.
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I don't see it as failure, I just see it as the next teachable
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moment so that I can get to it.
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So I always say, " Hurry up and fail fast.
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Fail quick so you can get to the wins."
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I enjoy this.
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I enjoy this.
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Hurry up and fail fast so you can get to the winning for the
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next teachable moment, right?
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Exactly.
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And you know, and that's what keeps a lot of… That keeps you going.
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Absolutely.
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That keeps people probably coming back to you to say, "All right, now this was
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the outcome, not quite what I expected, but there's a teachable moment behind it.
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Okay, Dr. Tanisha Guy, let's go for the next thing." Mm-hmm.
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"What else can we do?"
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Exactly.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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That's it.
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I love it.
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So I know that there are people in the audience who are listening and can't
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wait to talk with you, but there are also others who have missed out on
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this opportunity to be in the audience.
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If somebody wants to get in touch with you, or is there anything… Well, let
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me stop myself because I'm so excited.
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We need to speak to the audience members.
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Is there anything that I haven't asked you that you need, you really
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would have liked me to have asked?
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Um, you haven't asked me, but I do want to just share this.
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I think that oftentimes, and I can only speak to women 'cause I've never been
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anything else other than a woman, so-
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I'm, this is a woman show
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… I think
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often, I think oftentimes as women, we sometimes feel like we have the
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weight of the world on our shoulders.
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And because of that, we want to make sure that we're navigating life safely.
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And navigating life safely means we do what feels comfortable, we
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do what seems normal at that time or maybe what's even expected.
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And sometimes we have to step outside the comfort zone, and
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we have to get uncomfortable so that we can get comfortable.
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And even though it's a scary place, even though we might struggle with the
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imposter syndrome of not getting started, I think we have to know that if we never
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get started, we'll never get results.
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And so do it afraid, do it ugly, do it messy.
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As Nike says, just simply do it.
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I commend you on telling women that, because a lot of us women,
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we want everything perfect.
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We want the, all the Is to be dotted- Mm-hmm … all the Ts to be
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crossed-… before we step out there.
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Absolutely.
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But you won't know what it's like except you put that first
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foot forward, and you test.
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You don't even have to test.
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put that first foot forward- Absolutely … and then you can put the next foot, and
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you'll be amazed at what is out there.
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Mm-hmm.
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And that- ' Cause done is better than perfect, 'cause
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perfect doesn't even exist.
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It's a false belief that we want to achieve, but it's never achievable,
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therefore preventing us from getting started, which is why so many of
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us struggle with procrastinination, procrastination, couldn't get that
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out, because we want it to be perfect.
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And again, I describe myself as a reformed perfectionist.
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She is.
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But I now understand that procrastination was really tied to this fear
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'cause of the learning disability.
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I thought, "Well, maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe people will see that I
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do have a writing disability." So for example, if I'm teaching a class or in a
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workshop and I write on the board and I spell something wrong, what will they do?
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And so what I've started doing now, at the start of trainings is I'll
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go write on the board and I'll write all the alphabet in the corner,
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whatever I can think of, A-E-I-O-U.
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I'll circle it and I'll say, "So look here, I can guarantee you before the
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end of this event I'm going to spell something wrong, and when I spell it
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wrong, go grab the alphabet, spell it correctly, and we gonna keep on moving."
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I know I'm going to spell it wrong, but the old version of
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me would have never done that.
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She would've been so afraid, "Oh, it's not perfect." But I know that
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my brain works that way, and once I shifted the narrative and I created a
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new perception that I don't have to be perfect, I just have to be me, and I
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show up just as who I am, authentically, as chaotic, brain works the way it
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works, however it shows up, it shows up.
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It shows up messy, but it gets better over time, and for that I am grateful.
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And I just want more women to know that, that you can show up messy.
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You can show up the work in progress, because as long as we stay consistent
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with it, it does get better
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I love you saying that.
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I commend you in saying that, because a lot of us women need to hear that,
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that messy is better than zero.
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It is.
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It is.
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It is.
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Because at least you've started.
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Started.
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Yes.
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Mm-hmm.
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And w- even though you've started and it's messy, then you can keep cleaning
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it up, and it gets better, and it gets better- And it gets better … and it
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gets better.
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Mm-hmm.
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You
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know?
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But overthinking, and I was guilty of that, it took me two years to
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start my podcast 'cause I kept clea- trying to clean it up.
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Mm-hmm.
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Clean it up, and I had one excuse after the next- Mm-hmm … until my
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virtual assistant said, "Okay, there are 30…" This is, this was in 2012.
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She said, "Today's the 31st.
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You've run out of excuses.
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You said you're gonna launch at the end of 2012.
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You gotta do it." Mm-hmm.
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You gotta do it.
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And so I launched it, my heart beating, and here we are, 14 years later.
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So yes.
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Yeah.
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Messy is better than zero.
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Just do it.
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Let's do it.
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Mm-hmm.
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Thank you for saying that, Dr.-
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You're welcome
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… Tanisha.
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We need to hear it, and we need to hear it for we women, because men, that's
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why they say men are risk-takers.
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They just do it.
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Mm-hmm.
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And we are waiting for everything to be perfect.
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Yeah.
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They do it.
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So again, tell us where we can find you online before you- Yes … Before
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the audience jumps into asking you all the questions that they
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have that I haven't asked you.
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Absolutely.
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So I can be found on all social media platforms, Facebook, Instagram,
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LinkedIn, TikTok, Lemonade, @DrTanishaGuy on all platforms.
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And my website is drtanishaguy.com.
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That's easy enough, folks.
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She can be found.
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Hahaha.
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For those who would like to be a guest on my show, on this show, you
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can reach out to me on my website, which is chattingwiththeexperts.com.
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I'm also on LinkedIn, my business page there is Chatting with the
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Experts, or you can find my, me on my personal page, which is Paula Okonneh.
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I am on Instagram and my handle there is @chat_experts_podcast.
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I'm also on Facebook, my business page there is, Chatting with the Experts.
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Please like our page there.
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And we also have a YouTube channel where you'd find this episode.
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We're streaming it live right now, but you'll find the episode there.
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Please like and subscribe that episode, and all the other episodes that we have
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there of phenomenal women just like Dr. Tanisha Guy, who are there to encourage,
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educate, and empower all women globally.
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Thank you again, Dr. Tanisha Guy, and now we'll open up the floor to
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all who joined us so that they have the opportunity to speak with her.
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And for those of you who are listening to this on, Spotify or Apple Podcast,
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or watching this, please join us every Wednesday at 1:00 PMs for another
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episode of Chatting with the Experts where you get to speak with our
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interviewees just like Dr. Tanisha, live.
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Thank you again.
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Thank you.