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Unknown Author - "Anger is the punishment we give ourselves for someone else's mistake." · the Daily Quote - Positive Daily Inspiration and Motivational Quote of the Day

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  Dot com. Welcome to the Daily Quote, the
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  podcast designed to kick start your day in a positive way.
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  I'm your host, Andrew McGivern, and this episode is brought to
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  you by the Great News Podcast because good news should be
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  heard. And the link is right here in
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  the show notes. Today's quote circulates widely
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  online, most often attributed to the Buddha, but no verified
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  Buddhist text contains these exact words.
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  What is verified is a closely related teaching from Buddhist
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  tradition, which goes something like this.
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  You will not be punished for your anger, You will be punished
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  by your anger. That older verified version is
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  the sea. Today's more modern expression
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  is the flower, and together they say something that one of the
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  greatest Buddhist teachers of the 20th century spent a
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  lifetime trying to help the world understand.
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  Today's quote is anger is the punishment we give ourselves for
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  someone else's mistake. Tik Nyat Han is a Vietnamese Zen
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  monk, poet, peace activist, and the man Martin Luther King
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  Junior nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.
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  He coined the term engaged Buddhism, choosing to combine
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  the contemplative life of the monastery with direct act of
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  compassion for those suffering in the world.
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  He was exiled from his own country for 39 years for
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  refusing to take sides in a war that was tearing Vietnam apart,
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  a man who watched his homeland destroyed, his community
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  scattered, his right to return revoked, and who wrote an entire
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  book called Anger, not about suppressing it, but about
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  understanding it deeply enough to transform it.
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  His central teaching on anger relates directly to today's
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  quote. When someone wrongs us, our
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  instinct is to believe that our anger is directed at them, that
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  it is their punishment to receive.
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  We carry it as a weapon pointed outward.
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  But Ticknat Ham observed something that most of us spend
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  years avoiding. The anger lives in US.
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  It burns in us. It disturbs our sleep, poisons
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  our peace, colors every interaction, while the person
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  who caused it often moves through their day entirely
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  untouched. The punishment is not going
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  where we're sending it, It's staying right where it started.
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  Think about what sustained anger actually cost the person
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  carrying it. The mental rehearsal of old
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  wounds, the replaying of what was said, what was done, what
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  should have happened differently, the cortisol, the
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  tension, the low grade exhaustion of maintaining
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  agreements. None of that reaches the person
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  who made the mistake. All of it is paid by the person
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  holding the anger. This quote isn't saying that you
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  should pretend the wrong didn't happen.
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  Tikhnyat Han was not asking anyone to be passive or to
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  accept mistreatment. He understood injustice more
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  viscerally than most. What he was pointing at is the
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  distinction between responding to a wrong and punishing
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  yourself for it indefinitely. 1 is clarity, the other is
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  captivity. As he wrote, when we suffer, we
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  always blame the other person for having made us suffer.
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  We do not realize that anger is, first of all, our business.
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  We are primarily responsible for our anger, not responsible for
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  the mistake that triggered it, responsible for what we choose
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  to carry forward from it. I felt anger longer than it
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  deserved to be held, nursed grievances that the other person
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  had long since forgotten. I've carried something heavy
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  that was only ever weighing me down.
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  And what I've learned is that releasing anger isn't something
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  you do for the person who caused it, it's something you do for
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  yourself. The letting go isn't forgiveness
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  as a gift to them, it's freedom as a gift to yourself.
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  Tig Nyat Khan understood that better than almost anyone who
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  has ever lived, and he earned the right to say it.
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  So here's the question. What anger are you currently
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  carrying for someone else's mistake that is only punishing
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  you because the verified Buddhist teaching says it
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  plainly? You will not be punished for
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  your anger, you will be punished by it.
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  The modern version simply says the punishment lands on the one
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  holding it, not the one who caused it.
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  Set it down and let it go. Not for them, but for you.
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  And Speaking of Tic Nihat Han, I read 6 pages of his book, The
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  Miracle of Mindfulness. Just 6 pages and it changed my
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  life. Nothing really changed, but
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  everything did. It was a light bulb moment that
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  I think I've mentioned in a previous episode, and I'm pretty
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  sure I did, but I'm approaching 900 episodes now so I don't
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  remember for sure. But if you're interested, I'll
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  tell you the story. Leave a comment on this episode
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  either through Spotify or on the blog at greatnewspodcast.com, or
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  send me an e-mail directly to andrew@podcasthero.com.
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  That's it for today. I'm Andrew McGivern, signing off
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  for now, but I'll be back tomorrow.
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  Same pod time, same pod station with another daily quote.