Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 102: your dreams are ALLERGIC to you hiding

Transcript

102: your dreams are ALLERGIC to you hiding · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

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I'm about to say something so offensive, so rude.
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Like, how could you come for me like that?
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Like, why are you attacking me?
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Why are you coming for my existence?
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But once you hear it, you're not going to be able to unhear it.
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Okay?
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The life that you came here to live is violently allergic to you hiding.
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The life that you came here to live is not attracted to you playing small,
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to you shrinking to you not showing up in the exact arenas of visibility that you feel most
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called to if you want to be seen as a writer the life that you want to live as a writer is
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allergic to you saying oh the sub stack draft is not good enough to post if you want to be seen as
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a youtuber the life seeking you as a youtuber on people's screens across the world it is allergic
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to you saying oh i'm not good enough today i'll be good enough after i read this book after i get
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this qualification after someone gives me permission to say yes.
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Everything that you want
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in some way requires you to be seen in the wanting.
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And this is a very vulnerable place to be,
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but because of that, it's a very courageous, expansive and expanding place for you to be.
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And something that I want to invite you into is to turn any form of lack of safety into a statement
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of safety.
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So let's say you fear being judged.
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Something I say to myself all the time is,
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it is safe to be judged.
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It is safe to be judged.
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I say that to myself all the time.
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I breathe in
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and I tell myself it's safe to not be liked.
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It's safe for people to disagree with me.
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It's safe to
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be judged.
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Because if I don't allow myself to be negatively judged, I also will block myself from
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being positively judged.
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I'll block the person who may want to work with me or I'll block the person
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who may want to just resonate with my message.
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I'm going to say something so rude and offensive.
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Even as I think it to myself,
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I'm thinking this is so rude of you to say this.
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I feel attacked by these words.
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Okay, so let's listen to them.
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The life that you want to live
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is violently allergic to you hiding.
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the life that you came here to embody, the love, the abundance, the opportunities,
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all that you came here to attract is not attracted to you shrinking, hiding, playing small,
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saying not this week, rejecting the forms of discomfort that find you in the process of taking up more space.
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The things that you want most and that are meant to be yours in this lifetime,
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They are not attracted to the version of you who hides.
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They are not attracted to the version of you who shrinks, who lets shame win over possibility.
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Now, this is not your fault.
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We have been shamed.
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We've been conditioned to carry such a deep shame from childhood, trauma, conditioning, oppression.
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All of these wounds calcify, harden into a shell that we walk around within.
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trying to armor and protect ourselves from any sort of negative judgment, criticism, or danger.
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And yet at the same time, if you want to be a writer, if you want to attract an incredible
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book deal for your book, it requires you to be seen putting your book out there, putting your
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work out there, posting on Substack, growing a community.
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If you want to start a YouTube channel,
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it requires you to be seen and what is really beautiful is there is a polarity and i just did
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a whole talk on the lower polarity you can get the link to that in the soul salon collected below
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but it's completely free but in order to be seen quote-unquote succeeding you have to be willing
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to be seen quote-unquote failing if you say i don't want to be seen getting two views then
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you're never going to be seen getting two million if you don't allow yourself to be seen getting
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rejected by agents or the gatekeepers of your industry you'll never allow yourself to be seen
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with them saying yes that is the polarity in order to be loved and resonated with and people to want
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to flock to your message you need to be willing to hold the opposite experience if someone is
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unwilling to be judged they'll never put themselves forward for anything and so if you do want to get
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the link to that talk it is called the law of polarity portal and you can get the link to that
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entire one hour and a half session below by joining the soul salon collective if you are on our
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frequency and our vibration okay so i want to remind you that there is so there are so many
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possibilities that actually want to find you that you don't even have to go out and pursue but it
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requires you being in your essence and energy so potently that the universe can place you and find
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you in that frequency.
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So if you are so attracted to the idea of podcasting, then by you showing up
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in that energy, you're going to attract so many magical opportunities to you because you're
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allowing yourself to be seen in the energy that you want to occupy in this life.
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This does ask
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courage of you.
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It does ask patience of you.
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It asks you to have the courage to be seen,
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the courage to take action, the courage to take imperfect action, which is the only action that
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exists what is the only action that exists there is no other action but imperfect action so you can
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remove any feelings of unworthiness to take a messy step that is the only step that exists
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we are doing a dance between the infinite realm and the material realm and they're interconnected
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and intertwined and they're always in conversation with each other but something that's so important
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to realize as someone here in the material plane is the perfect vision in your head is just a beacon
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it's like a silhouette it's not the thing itself the thing itself will be messy it will have
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more challenges it will have more invitations to grow to sit with discomfort to sit with resistance
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and fear the the vision in your head is perfect because it's meant to be a beacon to guide you
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not the thing itself that you hold yourself to.
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If it doesn't feel like the vision, it's just not it.
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The vision is an idealized image of what is seeking to be born through you.
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The reality,
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people who actually live their dreams are not going to describe what it's like to have a podcast
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the same way as someone dreaming of having a podcast does.
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You haven't graduated into a deeper
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level of understanding and consciousness as to what that actually entails.
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Someone who fantasizes
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about writing a book is completely romanticizing the process versus someone who writes books.
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Yes, they do find it beautiful.
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They do find it brilliant, magical, magnificent, but they also
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know the days, weeks, years of discomfort involved.
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They've graduated into a deeper
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level of understanding.
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So everything that you want to attract is at that deeper level of
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understanding and the life made for you, the opportunities, the collaborations, the money,
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the abundance, the love.
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It wants the version of you who is shining and taking up space so that
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it has more surface area to connect with you.
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If you give the universe a hundred options,
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let's say you post, I just am celebrating that I've posted a hundred soul sessions.
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I've created
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a hundred episodes of my podcast.
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Can't believe that.
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Celebrating.
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But that's a hundred ways
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for that dream collaboration or that dream partnership or that dream lover who's attracted
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to me hello who wants to build a beautiful delicious life with me and love me correctly
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like that gives them a hundred more invitations to do so now visibility does not equate to online
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visibility it could be in a room you raise your hand and you ask the question in your heart instead
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of keeping it small in a meeting you have the point and you say it rather than letting the person
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20 minutes later say the exact thing that you had in your head and then be like oh why didn't I just
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say that when I had the idea.
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You know what I mean?
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Visibility is what resonates with you.
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We all face
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invitations to be more visible.
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It could be putting yourself up for a promotion.
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You need to be seen
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saying, I want more.
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It could be asking for a raise.
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Okay.
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It could be starting a creative
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project.
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It could be asking for help.
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We all have visibility invitations.
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And the more you say yes
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to all the ways life is inviting you to be seen, the more you are going to create surface area for
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attraction to come to you, for people to reach out to you, for support to find you.
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So you become
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more magnetic and receptive by saying yes to the vision so that the vision can send you guides and
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mentors and students and clients and all the people who are made to work for you.
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But it needs
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an invitation.
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And each time you say yes to being seen, you're inviting someone to see you
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and therefore you're inviting the possibilities.
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Just remember, just as you block yourself
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from judgment and criticism,
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you block yourself from love, from abundance,
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from money, from anything that wants to find you
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by you being seen.
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So you get to decide, do I want both or do I want neither?
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But you can't only have one.
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So we can't say, oh, I wanna be seen,
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but all I want is for people to like me.
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This just, unfortunately, it's like saying,
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I wanna be born, but never die.
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And in a sense, that is true.
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you know we can say the soul is eternal and there are ways we can find truth but things like
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birth and death darkness and light these are spec it's a spectrum of experience so if you reject
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one side just know you're rejecting the whole spectrum if i say i never want darkness then i'll
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also never know light you know so if we never want to be judged we never want anyone to be against us
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we never want anyone to cancel us or even have the possibility of that we're also going to say
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well we're never going to have people resonating with us we're never going to have people sending
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our work to their friends and saying you have to watch this you have to listen to this we get both
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or neither and what we can do is create safety around the side of the spectrum we are avoiding
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we can say it is safe to be judged i know it sounds like oh my word no it is not
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but we can try to create more forms of safety our biggest safety is in community
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in finding support and more support is attracted to you the more you step into who you came here
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to be if you came here to be a musician but you never allow anyone to see you that you want to
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be a musician how can a producer find you how can a community of musicians find you so you become so
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much more magnetic when you just honor the vision in your heart and say yes and to it so i'm posting
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this video there's a voice in my head that says it could have been this or it could have been that
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or when i started it i thought it was going to be that all i want you to know very quick message
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is the life of your dreams is allergic to you hiding from what you know is yours to claim in
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this lifetime the life of your dreams is attracted to the version of you who is showing up and giving
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the universe more opportunity and surface area to send you everything you need to live that magical
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life to send you the people the support to send you the signals the signs so what can you do next
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to honor the life that you're dreaming of living?
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How can you show up for the invitations to be seen?
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And how can you invite yourself to recognize
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that you are your most magnetic self
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when you are allowing yourself to be visible
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in the ways that you feel called to?
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And when you are trying to work
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with that voice in your head
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that's saying this is never gonna be good enough
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and you're saying, babes, I'm so proud of myself.
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I'm so proud of me.
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I love the song Proud of Me by Beautiful Chorus.
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I listen to that sometimes after recording
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just to connect the recording process and the song in my heart so that I feel proud of myself
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whenever I take action on the desire, the dream, the possibility that can unlock through being
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seen.
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Because what's really beautiful that no one tells you is things come out of you being seen
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that you're not even expecting.
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Friendships come, partnerships come, I hope.
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Collaborations come,
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soul aligned community comes.
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All these things I never even thought about when I first started
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this path of visibility.
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And yet it's not a path that you ever overcome.
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It's not a fear that we
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suddenly one day no longer have because it's existential, right?
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You know, when people say,
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I feel mortified, like I'm so embarrassed I could die.
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It's a existential fear is being judged and
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criticized, being ostracized by the collective.
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So it never goes away.
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But what we do learn is a way
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of dancing with it, a way of not allowing it to stop us from taking action, a way of being at
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peace with it, and also of finding more play, more pleasure in the process, a way of being like it's
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actually not that serious.
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It's not as serious as I thought.
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These intrusive thoughts come,
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but my dream life is bigger than what my mind is trying to tell me will happen if I step into it.
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I'm sending so much love to you.
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You deserve to be seen in the way you feel called.
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Do not shrink.
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do not hide any further.
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I know it feels uncomfortable, but growth is uncomfortable.
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I learned in a book I was reading, I was called The Karma of Success by Liz Tran,
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that when a snake sheds its skin, we think it's just shedding like a natural, easeful process.
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It's actually deeply uncomfortable for the snake.
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It actually rubs itself against rough surfaces
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because it's just dying to get this thing off of it to grow.
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So everything in nature goes through
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a kind of discomfort, an itchiness, a feeling they wouldn't have chosen, but that nature rewards them
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on the other side of with growth.
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We know that babies of all kinds of species come out crying.
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They're not that impressed by the fact that they were forced into the next phase of life.
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Imagine you're living in an egg and now suddenly you're cracked open and your eyes are not yet
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able to handle that level of sunlight.
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Imagine you're in a womb, you have everything you need,
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and now suddenly you're being pushed out.
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You didn't get to decide when.
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It's traumatic.
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All of our lives begin with trauma.
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If you think of the constriction of coming out of the womb.
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So reminding ourselves we were born for this kind of resilience,
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but also reminding ourselves we were actually born to be seen.
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Think of a peacock.
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Think of how visibility is a technology of nature
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to allow more life to happen.
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so the male peacock has this stunning feathering that actually is so ridiculously beautiful and
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audacious and just divine it just shows that the divine just loves beauty because it didn't have
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to do that much and the greens and the blues and the feathers and the textures and that is its
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mating ritual to attract to it the possibility of mating to attract the female peacock to it
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to allow and that she then chooses and then they procreate so that's a way that visibility is being
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used so life uses hiding for protection and visibility for growth generally speaking
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and so there are moments like in a shell in a womb in a cocoon where hiding is the most protective
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technology that nature has available but then there are moments to crack out of that cocoon
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and fly like a butterfly.
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And you know when you're already in that moment
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and you're staying in the cocoon too long
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and you're starting to feel stagnant.
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You're starting to feel like you've outgrown the cocoon
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that you have put yourself in and told yourself,
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I don't know the way out.
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The way out, the only way out is through.
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The only way out is just taking the next step.
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So remember, imperfect action, next step.
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Where do you feel called to be seen?
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Are we gonna be raising those hands?
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Are we gonna be posting those videos?
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Are we gonna be submitting those queries?
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Are we going to be putting ourselves forward for grants?
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Are we going to be applying to things that we're scared of being rejected to?
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I don't know how many people I've spoken to who really want to go to graduate school,
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but don't want to be rejected from it.
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And so don't apply.
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I always say, let someone else take you out of the game.
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Don't take yourself out.
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So you apply for the thing and let the admissions decide.
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Don't be your own blocker.
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This is also advice for myself.
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Don't take yourself out of the game.
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Let someone else take you out.
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So with my podcast, I'm stepping into being seen, being willing to be seen, being rejected.
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So I'm reaching out to people who may say no.
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I actually learned this from Jay Shetty.
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He said at the beginning of his podcast, he reached out to all these guests that now line up to speak to him who rejected him.
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And so that was a note for me.
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I was like, oh, great.
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Like, I should be doing that.
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I should be, you know, I don't really love this metaphor, but that's what came to me, punching above my weight.
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I should be reaching out to people who I feel like will say no.
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And I've actually done one of these and it worked.
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They said yes.
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And it's a dream guest.
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I'm so excited.
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I'm not going to say anything further.
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But literally a dream guest.
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And it's all unfolding.
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I don't know how many months or how long it will take.
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But like by putting myself and saying to the universe, I'm so serious.
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I'm willing to be seen.
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Quote unquote failing.
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I'm willing to be seen being rejected.
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I've had some rejections.
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People say, no, sorry.
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Thank you.
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And that's usually tied to your numbers.
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They're saying you're not worth it to me yet.
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But you could be one day, but you're not yet.
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And that's totally divine.
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But I love myself so much that I'm like,
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it's safe to be rejected.
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Let them reject me
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because I'm in a conversation with the divine.
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And when each time I take action
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in alignment with the highest vision I have
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for the Soul Salon,
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I show the divine what level I'm playing this game on.
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I show the divine what level
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I'm committed to this vision unfolding on.
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So for me, I call this signaling.
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So some actions I take literally just to signal
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to the universe how serious I am.
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like one time I reached out to a podcast that I love and I put myself forward as the co-host of
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their podcast they're not even looking for a co-host in fact it actually like it's actually
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laughable who I reached out to they're not going to say yes but I'm showing the divine just by me
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pitching just by me sitting down and typing that and sitting with the discomfort of why me and
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saying yes this is why me I'm signaling that I want to be I'm willing to be visible I'm willing
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to be seen putting myself out there and so must you be so what are you going to do what move are
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you going to make that signals to your higher power this is where we're at we're not playing
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small we're not saying maybe one day we're putting ourselves forward today in this if there's anything
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that i've learned it's like don't delay your dreams because none of us know how long we have
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with my vocal journey i didn't know this was going to happen so i never want to put myself
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in a position where i pretend that i have 45 years to do something when i literally don't know
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So it's a balance because I don't think we should act like everything has to happen this year now, this month.
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But it's like a balance between patience.
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Actually, I heard this saying from Stephen Bartlett, the Diary of a CEO person, where he said you should be short term impatient, but long term patient.
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So be willing to say, OK, this might take 10 years in the long term.
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But when it comes to an action you need to take now, if you feel called to make a video, make it now.
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Like short term, you're like, no, no, no, this has to happen now.
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But long term, in terms of how you think this vision could unfold, you're like, this could take five to 10 years and that's perfect.
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And so that was the message I had for you, babes.
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Remember, the life you want is attracted to the version of you who's showing up in the wanting.
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Let's take that.
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The life you want is attracted to the version of you who allows themselves to show up in the wanting.
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Show up wanting.
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We've been taught it's vulnerable or not safe to be seen trying,
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to be seen showing we want something that we do not have is a vulnerable place to be.
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But it's the people who show up in the process of wanting
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that get to become the people who get what they wanted.
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Now, of course, there's a lot of other factors involved,
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and I'm not minimizing all our results to what we put in.
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Of course, we know the world doesn't work like that.
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Privilege, access, proximity, so many things,
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so many factors go into why one person, quote unquote, succeeds versus not.
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this gatekept industry hierarchy classism all the things but all i'm trying to say is
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something we can all do is have the courage to be seen while we don't yet fully have what we want
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so let's say be seen when you don't yet have the views that you want to be having that's what i'm
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going through now and by the way it doesn't end you don't just especially now with where social
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media is going it's more about the individual video than your following overall so you posting
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a video has just as likelihood of going viral as as me or as anyone i mean obviously not exactly
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because of all the factors we mentioned,
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teams and access and all the things.
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But what I mean is like,
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it's no longer so much about followers.
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You can't lean on the fact that you have followers
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or don't have followers to dictate your results.
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So I'm going through low views now
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and I'm having to be willing to be seen
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getting far fewer views than I've gotten in the past.
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And that just has to be okay.
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Because this is my vision.
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This is what I want for my life.
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So if I'm going to get two views,
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if I'm going to get 200,
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if I'm going to get however many I need to get,
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this is how serious I am.
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And it's not like I never have days where I'm like, oh my word, I'm just going to hide from the world.
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This is embarrassing.
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I have those days.
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But this is the invitation.
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I'm never going to get to where I want to go if I'm not willing to have ebbs and flows and to have moments where I'm being seen not quote unquote at the, you know, winning, you know, in the capitalist sense where you're either winning or losing.
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But life is so much more magical.
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What did you learn?
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What did that video teach you in making it?
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there's so much more richness that the algorithm is never going to show me about my work how it's
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touched someone how deeply it's touched three people versus how broadly it's touched 300,000
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you know what I mean like if you want to be felt they're not going to measure that in an algorithm
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it's never going to show you how deeply it was felt that comment sections are great I love when
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you all leave comments it really helps but I just know that even if it may be embarrassing to be
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seen getting quote-unquote less views what is more intolerable to me is me taking myself out the game
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and letting one chapter of my life as a creator define my entire trajectory or like what's possible
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in 10 20 years okay anyways i'm sending so much love to you let's take those imperfect actions
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let's allow ourselves to be seen let's hold the cringe climb cringe mountain we're all grabbing
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hands and we're going together because we are so serious about the life we are creating for
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ourselves and we want everything we want to be so attracted to us that it just comes to us but it
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will come to us the more we embody exactly what we are calling in to embody in this life it's kind
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of paradoxical like you get more of what you already are so just show up as though you are
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the thing show up as a speaker and you'll get more speaking opportunities show up as a podcaster and
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you'll get more podcasting you know what i mean so let's do it babes we've got this you've got
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this you're so powerful so capable so resilient so worthy so magical and remember it is safe
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it is safe it is safe it is safe to take this next step and also remember the only action that exists
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the only option on the table is an imperfect next step an imperfect action where you look at the
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perfect vision in your head and you say that was nice that was beautiful you know that was like a
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Ryan Coogler level movie I'm now going to step into what I can make today which is not quite that
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it's not that cinematic it's not that perfect it's a little bit more messy it's more uncertain
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it's more confusing it's more overwhelming it's filled with doubt it's filled with confusion
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and it's filled with like what am i actually doing and yet a deeper knowing a deeper knowing
23:23
okay i could just keep going on so i'm gonna stop i'm sending so much love to you and i'll see you
23:28
on the next so session i love you bye my darling my love my soul sibling thank you for stepping
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into the soul salon if you are still hearing or watching this we are soul siblings we are
23:40
resonating on the same frequency and so something you may struggle with that i struggle with
23:45
is the fear of being seen you know that visibility is involved in you living your creative purpose
23:51
and being in your power serving the collective through your gifts through your magic through
23:56
your medicine in order to do that you know you need to be more seen than you are allowing yourself
24:02
to be right now.
24:04
I have a gift just for you, heart made for us on this frequency.
24:09
And it is a free
24:10
ebook called the soulful visibility guide that is soulful visibility.
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Like we don't just want to be
24:16
seen.
24:16
We want to be felt.
24:18
We want to be heard.
24:19
We want to move and be moved.
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So I do have a free
24:22
gift for you.
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And all you need to do is go to my website.
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I understood.com.
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And there you will be
24:28
able to input your email address and receive this directly to your inbox.
24:33
This is such a juicy and
24:34
delicious guide and I change the free offering every few months.
24:39
So, you know, get it while you
24:40
can.
24:41
All the links are in the show notes.
24:42
So thank you so much.
24:44
I love you and I will see you on the
24:45
next soul session.
24:46
Okay.
24:47
I love you.
24:47
Bye.