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4 Ways to unmask a narcissist to see who they really are · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time I sit in
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  my face and hear my lovely voice.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
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  on social media to raise awareness for MPD.
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  Get more people into therapy like myself, six years y'all and
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  also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said
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  disorders. Said toxic people, said toxic
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  traits. Today's episode is going to be
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  about how to unmask a narcissist.
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  A list of ways on how to unmask a narcissist or get them to show
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  their true selves. You know to to speed up the
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  process because a lot of people asking me how to avoid
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  narcissist and it's almost out. It is nearly impossible to not
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  interact with narcissistic people out here in the real
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  world, out here on data apps and things of that nature.
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  So the goal is to be able to, like I said, you want to try to
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  try to avoid them. But the goal to be the if you do
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  realize that you're with a narcissistic if you to test it
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  quickly to get out of it quickly, if you are with a
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  narcissistic person. So you're not wasting time
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  trying to change this person or things like that, you know.
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  So I'm going to give you a list of ways to possibly remove the
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  mask that this list is fluid. If you have other ways to unmask
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  a narcissist that I might have missed because I'm I'm only
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  going to list like four or five ways.
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  If you have other ways, drop them in the comment section.
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  I might I might can do a part too.
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  But yeah, in in how to unmask. Get them to take it off.
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  Get them to show their true character.
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  Get them to show their true selves.
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  Because you know when doing when you first meet a narcissistic
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  person, narcissist, whatever, they are going to put their best
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  foot forward. But very typically it's not
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  their, it's not their best foot. It's a false foot.
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  I said, you know, I've said this before, but I feel like they put
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  their peg leg forward. You know, they have on long
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  jeans and they put their best leg forward and you'll be like,
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  damn, that's a nice leg. And then you hit it, you hit it
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  and be like, is that what your leg is?
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  Your leg ain't even your best foot.
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  Your best leg isn't even real. Your best foot forward isn't
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  even real. That's not your foot isn't real,
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  you know, So it's like a peg leg.
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  They put in their best peg leg, four in this instance right
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  here. So if you when you're dealing
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  with narcissistic people, you want to pull that mask off as
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  soon as you possibly can, because like I said, the longer
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  it goes on, the longer it goes on, Y'all typically the harder
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  it is to get out of it. So you want to be able to unmask
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  them pretty quickly. So in the process of trying to
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  unmask them pretty quickly, the first thing that you want to do
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  is learn to use the word no. That's the first.
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  That's number one right there. Y'all.
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  The number one way to unmask a narcissist on this list, not the
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  number one way is to literally say the word no beat y'all beat
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  you. If you are a yes person, yes
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  man, yes woman, yes person. You have trouble saying the word
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  no, then you are yeah, you are going to be dealing with this.
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  You see? You see what I'm saying?
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  If you have trouble saying the word no, then they're going to
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  run over top of you. If you want to please everybody,
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  if you want to try to make everybody happy, they're going
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  to run over top of you. I promise you that.
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  I can promise you that. They just are.
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  And I tell that to people consistent, like, look, they're
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  going to run on top of you. They're going to use you.
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  They're going to abuse you. They're going to get rid of you
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  or not even, yeah, use you, use you, abuse you and get rid of
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  you. So saying the word no y'all can
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  help unmask A narcissist because a narcissistic person is, you
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  know, not used to people saying no to them or they hate the word
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  no, because no means that I'm not in control.
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  So saying no or rejecting them is like saying no is almost
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  equivalent to rejecting them in certain in a lot of different
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  circumstances. But saying no or rejecting them,
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  Yeah, we'll help. We'll show you who their true
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  character is because a lot of them can't take it.
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  Y'all. Some of them can, but a lot of
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  them can't take that word no or that you're not interested or
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  that you can like you just rejecting what The Who they are
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  or what they want to do. That's one way to pull the mask
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  off quicker. Y'all because like if you cannot
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  say the word no, you're going to get.
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  I'm just telling you they're going to bundle you up.
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  They're going to bundle you up. Like it ain't going like a like
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  a like a little a little baby in a blanket when it's cold
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  outside. They're going to bundle you up,
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  little bundle baby. That I said just just learn and
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  use the word no. The 2nd way on this, the 2nd way
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  on this list #2 right here. Y'all is I put setting
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  boundaries. It seems so simplistic, but some
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  people have problems setting boundaries because a lot of
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  people don't understand what boundaries are.
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  Boundaries are not control tactics.
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  Y'all boundaries are not manipulation tactics.
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  Boundaries are what make you feel comfortable and safe.
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  Boundaries are you building a fence around you?
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  Building a fence around your emotional, physical and mental
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  health and you deciding what and who you let in.
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  That's what boundaries are. Boundaries are you deciding what
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  and who you are letting into this space right here.
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  So you have to decide. You see what I'm saying?
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  You It's up to you to decide who and what you're willing to let
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  in. So you have to do it.
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  Boundaries. Hey, I'm not comfortable with
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  that. Hey, I don't really want to do
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  that. Hey, that makes me
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  uncomfortable. Hey, I don't like that.
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  Say no. It's also a boundary.
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  You know, saying no is also a boundary.
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  Did you hear me say that the word no is also a boundary?
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  You can what you decide what you are comfortable with.
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  Y'all boundaries are not meant to manipulate the other person
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  or control the other person. Boundaries are what make you
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  comfortable and safe. And narcissistic people y'all
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  typically don't like boundaries. So if you set a boundary,
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  narcissistic people will typically try to push back on
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  your boundaries very, very, very rarely.
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  When you see them trying to respect your boundaries and
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  understand where you're coming from, they typically try to, you
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  know, just rationalize their behaviours and why they should
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  violate your why. They should be entitled to
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  violate your boundaries as opposed to being them trying to
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  be there for you and listen to you and talk to you and things
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  like that, you know? So I just feel like boundaries
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  are one of the main ways that you can knockout, knockout,
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  knock off the narcissist mask, just say, yeah, whatever you're
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  comfortable with and I'll tell you I'll be, I'll be realistic
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  with y'all right, y'all, It's hard.
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  It's a lot harder to set boundaries later on in a
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  relationship than it is in the beginning.
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  Like the the sooner you set boundaries, the easier it is to
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  defer those boundaries. It's harder to change people.
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  And if they are so used to doing something to you and now you
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  want to set a boundary, typically they're going to get
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  angry. Yeah, they should be being
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  realistic right there. So the 3rd way, the number 3 way
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  is the baby, you know, this is. But like I said, y'all this
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  right here is going to be an issue right here.
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  This because getting the baby really quickly, this is doing it
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  like getting by having a baby or getting married, doing something
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  like that, having a baby or getting married, getting
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  pregnant by them or getting them pregnant.
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  They will take their mask off a lot of times because now it's
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  harder for you to leave. You see now it's harder for you
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  to exit this relationship. Now it's harder for you to feel
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  comfortable and for you to feel safe now.
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  It's harder for all of this type of stuff to happen.
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  So now they feel like they have you trapped.
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  When they feel like they have you trapped or harder for you to
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  leave. They will do stuff like that.
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  Y'all They will literally do things like they'll take the
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  mask off and show you their true character.
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  You won't recognize them anymore.
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  You know you literally won't recognize them anymore.
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  Once you do that type of stuff right there, once you like once
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  you have a baby or get married with this person, you know they
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  they they literally they they feel comfortable now they'll
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  kick their feet up. I've heard so many people tell
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  me these stories about, well, the the night of our wedding is
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  when they changed and when a mask came off.
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  Because now they feel comfortable enough to do who
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  what they want to do. You know, now they feel
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  comfortable enough to be who they actually are.
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  As opposed to putting up, putting up this front to get you
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  to stay with them, to get you to love them, to get you to care
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  for them. Now they feel comfortable in
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  their own skin, to be bad people towards you, to exhibit their
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  own toxic behaviors, to do what they want to do.
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  Because again, you can't just break up with somebody when
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  you're married. And if I was just saying, a lot
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  of narcissists like to move very fast to try to get you married,
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  to try to have a baby, to have a baby with you, to do things like
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  that. They move very fast.
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  We were married and pregnant in six weeks.
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  What? And then the mask came off.
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  You see what I'm saying? Six weeks, 6 sweaty, you know,
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  six weeks. So you had to slow it down.
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  But seriously, but also if you would like like I said, that's
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  what's slowing down. If you if you tell them you want
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  to slow down, that's also setting a boundary.
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  I'm not cool. You see how all this is tied in
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  together. I'm not cool with moving this
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  fast. You still you've rejected them.
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  You set a boundary and you didn't get you see, you see how
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  they all works together. Slowing down or saying we're
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  moving too fast is also a boundary.
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  And they. But a narcissistic person takes
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  it as rejection. You know, literally takes it as
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  rejection. They will.
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  And the last thing y'all I'll talk about on on this list is
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  going to be criticize them. Narcissistic people typically
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  hate being the butt of jokes. They hate it.
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  Y'all. They hate being the butt of
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  jokes. They hate when people make fun
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  of them. They can.
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  Narcissistic people are the epitome of can take it condition
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  but can't take it because you get a lot of narcissist.
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  They will joke on you, they talk junk about you, but they
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  themselves can't take criticism. They themselves cannot take
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  criticism. You know they hate, they hate
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  being the butt of jokes and people are pointing at them and
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  laughing at them or something like that, or you being
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  sarcastic. They can't.
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  You know, a lot of times they perceive sorry, camera better
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  die, but a lot of times they they perceive your sarcasm as
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  criticism. And I say this all the time
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  right here. Y'all, if you're not praising A
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  narcissist, if you're not praising them, you're
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  criticizing them. It could be as simple as that,
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  right there. If it's not praise, it's
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  criticism. If you're not praising them,
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  you're criticizing them. And they hate criticism.
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  Narcissistic people cannot. Yeah, Narcissistic people can
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  very rarely, if ever, take any little bit of criticism,
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  constructive criticism, any type of criticism.
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  If it's not praise, it's criticism.
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  Even if it's even if it's constructive criticism that will
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  inevitably help them grow and help them be better, they still
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  take that as they still take that as pain and hurt.
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  You see what I'm saying? They still take it like that.
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  So you have to empower yourself on this journey.
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  Like I said to say no to be able to.
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  Of course, y'all use discretion in all of these.
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  Use discretion because some people will get, some people
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  will get dangerous, some people will try to hurt you or harm you
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  because they feel rejected, They feel slighted, they feel like
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  you're trying to embarrass them. So use please use discretion
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  when you're dealing with narcissistic people.
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  You know viewer user discretion is advised because they will
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  absolutely, A lot of them will absolutely lose their damn minds
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  when it comes to when it comes to this type of situation.
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  So you have to protect yourself in these situations because if
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  you don't, y'all just buckle up, They will absolutely run over
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  the top of you. And y'all a bonus one that I'll
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  throw in this is probably part of #3 is getting pregnant What I
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  say? What I say?
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  Getting pregnant? Moving in together?
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  No getting pregnant. Getting married.
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  Throw in buying a house or some type of, some type of financial
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  commitment, some type of financial commitment like you
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  sign, you cosign on a car or something with a loan or
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  something along those lines that makes you financially committed
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  to them. Now you're financially committed
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  to them. So it's now it's, you know, now
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  it's like you're stuck here with me.
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  Unless you want you, unless you want your credit to get ruined.
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  You know some people are willing to risk that credit get ruined
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  to leave, Which if I was, if it was up to me, my life was in
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  danger. My mother's health is in danger.
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  I probably, you know, risk a little credit score.
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  But I know credit score is a super important year.
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  I've been working on mine for years.
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  I mean, if y'all don't know, I'm an active real estate agent in
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  North Carolina. So if y'all looking to buy, sell
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  the house, hey, shoot me an e-mail, shoot me an e-mail,
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  We'll talk about, you know, North Carolina, North Carolina
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  real estate and whatnot. Anyway, y'all thank you for
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  tuning in and say if you'll have some boundary, if you'll have
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  some things to add to the list, drop them in the comment section
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  because people will be reading those comments and people can
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  get help from things that I might have missed as well.
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  So be safe, take care of yourself, but the illness is out
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  peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. Y'all.
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  If you didn't know, we wrote a kids book called Remember, It's
• 12:27
  Not Your Fault to help kids understand that they are not in
• 12:30
  control of whatever circumstances they were born
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  into. Talk about boundaries, telling
• 12:34
  the truth. All of that stuff.
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  Y'all. It's available on Amazon right
• 12:38
  now. Or the link in my description of
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  every single video or podcast that you listen to.
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  Thank you so much. Remember, it's not your fault.
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  Peace.