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Spilling Secret Lives of Mormon Wives with Miranda Hope · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, Laala, Hello, gorgeous,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Untraditionally, Lala. I have officially become a
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: fan of the Mormon Wives show on Hulu. And there's
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: a reason for that. So Miranda, who just recently was
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: added to the cast. And it's crazy because Utah is
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: definitely a small place. So I know of Miranda because
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: of Easton, my brother, and Miranda was dating one of
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Easton's best friends. So when she entered the mix of
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Mormon Wives, I was like, oh my gosh, I gotta
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: get her on the pod. So please give your loudest
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: warm welcome to Miranda from Mormon Wives. Hello, Miranda Hope.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: How are you, my love?
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: I'm so good. How are you?
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I'm good? You look stunning. Love the cross necklace?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Thank you? Thank you. True Mormon fashion, right.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: True Mormon fashion. How is Utah these days?
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: It's good? I mean, probably better than it used to be.
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  Speaker 1: I would say, really, why do you say that? I
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: don't know.
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  Speaker 2: I just feel like, I mean, I'm from Idaho, which
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  Speaker 2: is kind of like an extension of Utah. I would
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  Speaker 2: say it's like a little a little more diverse, not
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  Speaker 2: by much, a little bit.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where we would go to get the kegs
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  Speaker 1: for parties, is I see.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the liquor laws that are a little better,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: for sure. But yeah, I feel like growing up and Idaho,
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  Speaker 2: I still had a lot of the same you know,
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  Speaker 2: cultural cultural things that you deal with growing up in Utah.
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  Speaker 2: But I feel like Utah just feels in Idaho too,
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  Speaker 2: just feels a lot more diverse. I think, you know,
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  Speaker 2: maybe it's because a lot of people have left the
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: church and a lot of people have moved into the state.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: You know. I think there's a few factors that plays
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: play a role in it. But I feel like it's
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  Speaker 2: different than it used to be for sure.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I left Utah when I was twenty three and
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  Speaker 1: I'm thirty five now, and growing up there was such
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: a strange It was a wonderful place to grow up.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I would not have had it any any differently, but
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  Speaker 1: there I was looked at as kind of like the
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  Speaker 1: black sheep, where it was like, oh, we don't hang
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  Speaker 1: out with Lauren because she's not a part of the church.
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  Speaker 1: So actually, when people say was it hard to make
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  Speaker 1: friends there, it was like no, because the non Mormons
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: kind of gravitated toward each other.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Few that there were, we were like, we're all We've
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: got right. And so it is interesting to me because
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: when I first learned about this, this Mormon show that
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: was going to be on Hulu, I was like, I
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: don't know that I can watch. It's a little too
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: close to home, and I think that there are things
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: that they're going to show that may be a bit
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: triggering because my dad grew up in the Mormon Church.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So my family members were like a little quirky, right
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: to put it, kind of Yes, So how long had
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: you been in the mix without being on the.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Show like mom Talk and everything?
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Mom Talk? Were you there from the beginning?
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah? So it was me and Taylor who was during
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: the pandemic, we had been friends. Haya and I became
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: friends and let's say, let's say it was probably twenty eighteen, Okay,
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: think it was probably about twenty eighteen, and then during
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: the pandemic, we you know, that's kind of when TikTok
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  Speaker 2: started taking off and we just started making videos together.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: And then a few months after that that's when we
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: met Camill and then started making tiktoks with Camill. She's
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: the other like blonde friend that she's actually not on
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: the show, but okay. She the three of us started
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  Speaker 2: making tiktoks together. We would joke that like we were
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: because people think we're twins, me and camel We would
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  Speaker 2: joke that like Taylor was our mom. That gained a
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  Speaker 2: lot of traction, and then it just kind of like
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: took off from there, and then obviously with the whole
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Swinging Scandal, that's when everything like fell apart, then had
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: a bit of a hiatus, and then came back.
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  Speaker 1: So when you guys, were you part of the Swinging Scandal?
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  Speaker 1: Were you in the mix?
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  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I it wasn't entirely forthcoming about my involvement
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  Speaker 2: in the beginning for sure, but I think at the
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  Speaker 2: place that I was coming from back then though, was
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  Speaker 2: definitely because the way that Taylor was portraying it was
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  Speaker 2: that was very much in a light that wasn't what
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  Speaker 2: I felt like was reality at all, that there were
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  Speaker 2: other couples that were involved in way more and with
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  Speaker 2: me and then my husband at the time, it was
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  Speaker 2: like the length and I say this in the show,
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: but the length the furthest we ever went was when
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: we played spin the bottle and like kissed people, but
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  Speaker 2: there was no like real like swinging or switching. And
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  Speaker 2: so to me, I'm just like even now, like I
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  Speaker 2: think it's funny because sometimes people will be like, that's
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  Speaker 2: kind of like a like laughable version of swinging, but
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  Speaker 2: also like for Mormons, like it's crazy, you know what,
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  Speaker 2: it's a huge deal, yeah, big deal. And also like
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  Speaker 2: the thing is I'm like, yes, I wasn't swinging per se,
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  Speaker 2: but it was still weird, still like a weird thing
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  Speaker 2: to be involved in. And then also your super Mormon
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: parents and like finding that out, and my parents didn't
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  Speaker 2: even know really at the time. I think they had
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  Speaker 2: a hunch, but they didn't really even know the time
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  Speaker 2: that I was in the midst of a faith crisis
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  Speaker 2: as well. So then I just had such a it
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  Speaker 2: was it was it was hard. It was really heavy
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  Speaker 2: dealing with Okay, well, now I'm having to confront the
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  Speaker 2: fact that I don't know that I believe in the
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  Speaker 2: church anymore, and I don't know if I want to
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  Speaker 2: be a part of this. On top of by the way,
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: I'm supposedly a swinger, and right they were just falling apart.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: So it was just a lot all at once.
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  Speaker 1: Was did you find that you were kind of shunned
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  Speaker 1: from the Mormon community when because you taught I'm I'm
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  Speaker 1: from there, and I know that people talk and things
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  Speaker 1: are very like when something happens within the church and
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  Speaker 1: in your ward, it's like they can't get enough of
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: the gossip. But they almost some people thrive of, you know,
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  Speaker 1: pushing you out, which kind of goes against the entire
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  Speaker 1: point of the religion, which is like love and acceptance
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  Speaker 1: and like forgiving people. Did you find that people started
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  Speaker 1: treating you differently?
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  Speaker 2: I mean, to be honest, I kind of feel like
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  Speaker 2: I already was like ostracized to a degree a little bit,
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  Speaker 2: just because like at that point I wasn't super active.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: I think like sometimes like little things that I would
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: post here and there would maybe be like a little
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  Speaker 2: controversial or like problematic to some people. So I think
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: there was already a little bit of talk. But yeah,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: when the whole swinging thing like came out, for sure,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: like my hometown, I know was having an absolute hey day,
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  Speaker 2: And I think for me it was more so like
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: I didn't care as much about that. It was more
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: so like just my family, like I have a very
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  Speaker 2: close relationship with my family. Like I feel like at
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  Speaker 2: the time too, I had a really deep fear of
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: disappointing my family and my parents and and you know,
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  Speaker 2: we've worked through a lot, and I give them great
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  Speaker 2: for you know, the work that they've done to be
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  Speaker 2: accepting of me and like where I am now. But
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  Speaker 2: I yeah, I think that was probably the hardest part
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  Speaker 2: for me, as far as like, you know, people that
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  Speaker 2: I went to high school with, or people in my
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  Speaker 2: own neighborhood that I'm kind of like, what difference doesn't
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  Speaker 2: make to I'm not going to see you either way,
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  Speaker 2: so right, whatever, But yeah, for sure, you definitely you
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: hear whisperings and like later on. It is interesting because
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  Speaker 2: I feel like once I actually joined the show, and
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  Speaker 2: it was like at first it's like talk of the town,
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  Speaker 2: you're a harlot basically, and then it goes from that
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  Speaker 2: to then when there's a level of like fame that
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  Speaker 2: comes with it, then there's like a little bit of
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  Speaker 2: a switch up sometimes where it's like, hey, sorry for
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  Speaker 2: everything that like I said about you or whatever, which
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, I appreciate, but it's also like interesting timing,
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  Speaker 2: you know what. I mean, and so I think there
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: was a little bit of that, But all in all,
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  Speaker 2: I feel like I don't feel like I let like
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: the outside noise affect me too much. I think it
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: was really just mostly my really close relationships that I
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  Speaker 2: was trying to protect and worry about, worried.
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  Speaker 1: About are you still active in the church?
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  Speaker 2: No?
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  Speaker 1: Okay? And has that affected your relationship with your family?
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  Speaker 2: Yes? And no, Like I would say no now, at first,
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  Speaker 2: it was difficult, like there were definitely a lot of
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  Speaker 2: hard conversations, and you know, there are certain things that
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  Speaker 2: I know that like my parents and I might never
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  Speaker 2: really see eye to eye on. But at the end
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  Speaker 2: of the day, I feel like they've they've realized work
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  Speaker 2: that they need to do in order to be really
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  Speaker 2: like accepting and loving of me, because I know that
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  Speaker 2: their love is unconditional, and they've really made an effort
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  Speaker 2: to make me feel like it is. And so I
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  Speaker 2: really commend them for that, and I feel like because
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  Speaker 2: of that, we've been able to maintain a really good relationship.
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  Speaker 1: That's amazing because there are so many parts of the
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  Speaker 1: Mormon religion and many religions, you know, I think coming
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: from Utah religion, now scares me in any capacity, no
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  Speaker 1: matter what it is. Organize religion I just don't want
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  Speaker 1: any part of. But there are so many things that
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  Speaker 1: come with the Mormon religion that are so beautiful, right, So,
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  Speaker 1: I'm sure having a daughter who kind of decided to
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  Speaker 1: take a different path taught your family a different level
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  Speaker 1: of acceptance totally.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that that. You know, when when you
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  Speaker 2: grow up one way and then you are you stay
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  Speaker 2: around the same area and you're surrounded by people that
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: are like minded, it kind of you automatically are going
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: to have you know, you're not going to really think
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  Speaker 2: outside the box, and it's hard for you to really
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  Speaker 2: like develop opinions of your own. And I think that's
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  Speaker 2: something I, you know, through my faith crisis, really realized
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  Speaker 2: that I was important to me. And you know, that's
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: something that I'll give my ex credit for too, is
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: that he actually left the church prior to me like
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: really diving into things. But he, I think has always
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  Speaker 2: been a really free thinker, and I feel like while
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I was going through my faith crisis, I think it
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: really really taught me to trust myself. And I think
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: that's also been you know, eye opening for my family
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  Speaker 2: as well. Because at the end of the day, I'm
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: like I told my parents, I'm like, you didn't raise
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  Speaker 2: a daughter that is Mormon. You raised a daughter that
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  Speaker 2: has good morals. And obviously, yeah, have I made mistakes
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  Speaker 2: along the way in my life, of course, but also like,
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  Speaker 2: at the end of the day, like I know that
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  Speaker 2: I have a strong sense of self. I know that
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  Speaker 2: I have good morals and good ethics, and like, to me,
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  Speaker 2: that should be more important than my activity level within
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  Speaker 2: the religion that you're part of. And I think they
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  Speaker 2: see that now, and you know, they see that even
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: though I might live differently and think differently than they do,
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  Speaker 2: that I still am a good person and I'm still
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  Speaker 2: who they raised me to be. And I feel like,
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  Speaker 2: you know, that's validating for them. And overall, just having
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: that mutual respect has been really great, and I've been
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: really grateful to see them kind of flourish and think
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: outside of the box. And whether it be like religion
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: or politics or or just like really anything, I feel
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: like they're a lot more open to a lot of things. Really,
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  Speaker 2: Ever since the beginning of my faith crisis, which I
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: really appreciate.
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  Speaker 1: Do you ever have guilt? Because I know that my dad.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: He left the church when he was gosh, I want
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: to say twenty two, so well before I was even born,
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  Speaker 1: And there were moments of him being in his fifties
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: where he would have some sort of internal battle because
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: you know, he was raised in that environment for so
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: long that there were times that he would feel guilt
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: over some like the strangest things.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I'm just now getting to
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  Speaker 2: a point where I've dropped almost all of that. And
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: who's to say, right, Like I could be much like
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: your dad were down the line, maybe I have something resurface.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I think obviously growing healing, it's obviously like an ever
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: evolving experience. But I think that I before and for
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: a while at first after I chose to step away
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  Speaker 2: from it, I it was really hard, especially because my
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: dad came from a background where he was really the
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: only religious one, and he had siblings that made decisions
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: that landed them in really tough situations, and he just
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: he had had a rough upbringing in a lot of ways.
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  Speaker 2: And so I think for him, he his personality type
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: like clung to it, and I think for him it
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: like saved him in a lot of ways. And so
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I think I held guilt because I felt like I
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: was responsible for his feelings. I didn't want to like
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: set him off by you know, me choosing to think
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  Speaker 2: differently and believed diferently. And something my dad always took
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: pride in was the fact that, you know, all of
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: his daughters because I'm the youngest of four girls. Oh wow, Sun, Yeah, no,
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  Speaker 2: it's so great, but that we all, you know, were
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: such great and like valiant women and members of the church,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: and you know, we married a term missionaries and got
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: sealed in the temple, like you know, all the boxes
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: were being checked, and so I felt like I was
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: stripping him of that like badge of honor that I
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: felt like he had that like my parents had. And
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: so I feel like I carried a lot of guilt
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  Speaker 2: for that. And you know, I think throughout my journey,
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: I've realized that obviously I'm my own person and that
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I'm not responsible for everybody's feelings all the time. And
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: that's like something that I've I've taken upon myself a lot,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: like throughout my life and my relationships and friendships, and
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm now at a point where I
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: don't feel like I do that and I realized that
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: it's okay to be a little bit selfish and necessary
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: into said boundaries, and and that's something that like they've
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: also you know, it was difficult at first, and yeah,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I felt a lot of guilt and shame. But I
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: think that like, because my parents like do respect me now.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: I think I probably would still feel that way if
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: they treated me poorly because of my accasion, But because
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: they'd still respect me and have love for me, I
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: think it makes it a lot easier for me to
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: drop that guilt for sure.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Of course, So when when did you decide or I
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: guess when did they approach you to say, hey, we
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: think you'd be great for the show on Hulu Secret Lives?
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Oh it was in twenty twenty two.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, because I remember, you know, my brother Easton, Yes,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: and he's friends with Jake, your ex. Yes, And I
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: and correct me if I'm wrong. I remember you being
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: approached or I had heard you had been approached, like
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: at the very beginning of the show, and you were
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: not really into the idea. It was like, I'm kind
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: of good on that. Yeah, So was that just because
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: you didn't know? So the direction was life chaotic at
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: that point? In time.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was still married and I at that
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: point in our marriage, we were kind of like I
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: was like already one foot out, but like trying to
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: like make it work, not really sure what I wanted.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: And so you know, you hear like what reality TV
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: is about and how toxic it can be, and really
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: like and it's true if you have skeletons in your closet,
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: like be prepared for those to come out, Like that's
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: for sure accurate, and it wasn't it's for me. I'm like,
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: am I wanting or willing to put everything we're going
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: through like under a microscope when I already had Just
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: like the way I was thinking was like I was
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: already kind of exploited online, like without my consent, Like
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: why would I willingly put myself in a position to
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: do that again, like you know, my own doing it
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: didn't really make sense, and I just like I kept
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: trying to justify it, and it just like did not
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: feel good to me, Like my like gut was telling
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: me no. And so ultimately I decided that it wasn't
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: for me. And also too, like Taylor and I were
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: not in good standing at that point either, and so
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like, do I want to go be around this
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: person too? That like doesn't make me feel good, that
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: like disturbs my peace and doesn't make me feel great
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: about myself. And there's a lot of trauma still there
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: that I'm trying to work through. It just like did
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: not seem like it would be a good idea, and
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: so I decided against it. They like filmed the pilot
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: obviously with some like with Taylor's arrest and everything, they
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: like paused everything for a while, and then then they
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: ended up filming and then yeah, it was released, and
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: it was like two days after season one aired. I
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: got a call from one of the producers and he
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: was like, hey, have you reconsidered? And at this point
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I had already I was divorced or okay, split separated.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: He had moved out, but like my mind was made
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: up on that, and so at this point I'm like,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: I'm a single mom. You know, obviously I do social
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: media already, and I'm like, maybe I do reconsider this
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: in a different light. And at that point I just
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: felt completely different about it, and in fact, like everyone
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: around me was like I just don't think it's like
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: the best idea, and I like I just felt so
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: differently about it. I was like, I actually like, I
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: don't have that pit in my stomach now. I don't
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: feel like I feel like I need to do this,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: and so I you know, ultimately I signed my contract
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: the day before I my first day of filming because
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: I was so back and forth.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: And do you have any regrets doing it?
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: No?
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: So you had, you had a blast, it was.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Honestly, I would say that I think it's been you know,
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: knock on wood. I think it's been a lot more
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: positive than I think I was imagining. I think that
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I think there is a lot you have a lot
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: more in your in control than I thought I would have. Okay,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: And and maybe that's just like the way that our
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: production works. Maybe that's you know, I'm sure it's different
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: across all shows. Maybe like you feel differently with vander Punt.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: But I think there's you know, obviously you have like
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: editing and everything that goes into it. But all in all,
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I feel like, I, you know, I feel like so
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: far I've been able to like show up as my
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: authentic self and like whatever you you have to give
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: them enough to like spin something out of you know
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: what I mean, Like I think Whitney, for example, like
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: with season one being the villain, it wasn't like Whitney
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: was just rainbows and butterflies and sunshine the whole time,
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: and they like made her out to look like a villain, right,
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: Like you have to have some villainesque qualities, and I
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: not to say that I haven't. You know, I'm like
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: definitely not perfect.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: And everyone has their day. You You're you're the angel
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: one year and the next year you're exactly.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, like one season you can be great the
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: next season like, yeah, you're the villa, And so I
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: think that. Like for me though, I'm like I'll be
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: the villain as long as I feel like I'm showing
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: up authentically. I'm like, if I feel like I'm being
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: true to who I am and like people don't love that,
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: I like I I'll take it on the chin, like
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: That's like the ultimate reality TV star though, because you're
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: you have to go to bed with yourself at night.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: So like, no matter what the comment section says, I
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: know that the moment I walk in the door, I
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: have to know that I stand behind everything that I said.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: And I didn't do it because I wanted the comment
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: section to look a certain way, or I wanted people
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: to like me. I did that because that was my truth, and.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: I would do it again exactly.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: And you know what, if it doesn't land and I
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: have regrets about it, then how hard is it to say,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I wish I could redo that exactly. Not
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: a big deal. Did you enjoy doing the reunion with
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Nick Vile?
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought it was good. I think that there,
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: you know, I feel like it was kind of the
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: wholesome addition. You know, not that all of it was wholesome,
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: but it was kind of the wholesome edition that I
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: feel like we needed, you know. I think that like
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: it added more depth and like more it allowed people
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: to see other sides of a lot of our casts,
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: and it you know, opened the door to having empathy
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: and like people realizing that we are real people with
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: real feelings that go through real things. Yeah, and so
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: I feel like that was that was good. I think
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: I did my I did a podcast with Nick last season,
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: and I feel like he was great with that and everything,
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: and so overall, like I feel like it went well.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: And that was your guys' first reunion, like they hadn't
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: done one for the first season. No, no, nothing better
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: than a reunion.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Man, Oh my gosh, it just.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: Ties it all up in a boat. I was so
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: happy to hear that you guys were doing that. I
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: have to ask, and people sometimes think I'm nuts when
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I say this. I find reality TV to be at
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: times very therapeutic and it allows me to in normal life,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: when a camera's not on, I very much pick my
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: battles right, And I think people would be shocked by this,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: but I can become a doormat very quickly because I
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: just don't want to deal when there's a camera up
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: and it's like, okay, I now get to say everything
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: that I always want to say, and it allows me
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: to say, Okay, i can set a boundary in this moment,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to pick my battle. I'm going to
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: defend myself. Do you think that once, once you started filming,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: that you were allowed to make amends with people, hash
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: things out to get to a better place. I don't
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: know what the upcoming season is, so I don't want
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: to ask, like are you and Taylor good? But like,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: so in a more kosher way, did you find that
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: you did that?
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, I could not possibly agree more with you. I
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: think you know, more than any other materialistic benefit that
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: has come from the show. I think that, like gut
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: feeling that I had for when it came to deciding
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: on season two was more about coming into myself and
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: becoming my most authentic self than anything else. And I
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: think that you're one hundred percent right where I and
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: you can't even kind of see it in season one,
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: like obviously I'm like coming in walking on eggshells, you know.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I know that I'm walking into the into
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: the lions Den. I know that I'm like in a
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: situation where you know, there's daggers on me. I know
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: that I'm not being welcomed with open arms entirely. And
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: so I think that obviously kind of made me a
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: little weary of being super vocal and one hundred percent
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: speaking my mind all the time, taking a back seat
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: in certain situations. And I feel like as time has
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: gone on, I think that and as I've built real
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: relationships with the women and you know, gotten used to
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: everything and become more comfortable, I've like dropped so much
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: of that. Like I also realized how much I put
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: myself in a box and by labeling myself as like, oh,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: like I'm kind of a people pleaser, like and now
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: I'm like I might have people pleasing tendencies sometimes like
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: I'm not a people pleaser. I also realized that, like
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: after my marriage, I think that, like there were a
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: lot of things that I was just like, you know what,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: it's not worth it, kind of like you said, pick
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: your battles. And then you know, I think with like
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: when I was dating Jake, I realized, you know, after
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: being in my marriage and then dating somebody like Jake,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm actually like way more confrontational than
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: I thought I was, and I was putting myself in
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: a box based on who I was like surrounded with,
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: you know. And so I feel like it's been the
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: same thing with filming, where I'm in situations where you're
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: kind of like I don't want to say like rewarded
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: for speaking up, but like it's it's like a welcome,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: you know, whether the response is great or not, you
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: know that it's like, Okay, we're here to speak our minds.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, well, I guess like yeah, everyone
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: else is speaking their minds, Like maybe I should start
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: speaking my mind, and as I do that, and as
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: I have done that, and like you'll see a little
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: bit of that in season three. But as I start
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: doing that, I'm like, oh, this is actually I feel
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: so good about this, and like that's like I feel
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: like a huge weight lifted, actually, and I feel like
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: it's just helped me be so much more authentic to
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: myself and show up as who I am. And it's
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: not like I'm acting out of character because it's my
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: real thoughts and feelings. I'm just finally voicing it.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Finally voicing it, I have to ask, so I at
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: times see well, by the time I see it, it's
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: a real But I'm sure it's a TikTok. I'm like
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: ninety years old. You seem to have like a very
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: healthy co parenting situation with your ex. Is it up
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: and down? Or did you just get lucky? Because I'm
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: very envious. You would not catch me dead making a
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: TikTok with my ex.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: Well, and I understand that it's like very unconventional, and
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: that's when people are like, well, why don't you guys
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: just get back together. I'm like, you couldn't pay me,
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: no chance, no chance will we ever get back together,
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: but I think it's a little bit of both, where yes,
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: there are times where it's ups and down, more stable
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: than it's ever been for sure, I mean amazing. And
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: I think Jake can kind of attest to this because
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: we started dating, you know, pretty quickly after our split,
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: but where it was like a lot more up and
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: down for sure, And at first I was like, oh
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: my gosh, like I honestly thought that we would coprint
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: really well, this is so hard, and it was, you know,
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: we were just really trying to find our footing and
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: so it wasn't like great from the beginning. But I
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: think as like we both continued to heal and work
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: on ourselves and you know, date other people and whatever.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: I think that like, and we got a good situation
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: going with the kids got a lot easier. But she said,
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: I always had a good basis of friendship to where like,
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: even because our relationship was very like on and off
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: and up and down when we were dating, but like
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: even when we weren't like dating, I feel like we
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: got along like fairly well. And you know, I'm not
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: really one to hold grudges. I mean that's you know,
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: part of why I feel like Taylor and I can
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: be friends again, I don't. I don't like holding onto that,
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: and so I feel like we just have given each
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: other a grace and really, at the end of the day,
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: we prioritize the kids first, and yeah, and I think, yeah,
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I think I still see us as a family unit.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: It just looks different obviously than it used to.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: That is amazing. Do you want more kids or are
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: you done?
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I'm open to both. If I were to like not
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: get remarried or marry someone that already had kids or
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: I would be okay with not having more okay, But
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: if I were to marry somebody who did want children,
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: I would be open to having like two max like
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: the even like what maybe.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: It's like the Mormon starter pack four kids?
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: No literally, I know, And like I always said, I
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: was like, okay, three, Like if I were still married,
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: we probably would have had like a third and then
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: been done. But I'm like, I don't know, because if
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: I married someone who didn't have children and they wanted
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: two of their own, I'd be like, okay, But I
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: get really sick during my pregnancy, So I'm just like,
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: I don't know, So we'll see, But I'm open to both.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how old are you?
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: I'm twenty eight.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Oh girl, you got plenty of tacks.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not really worried about it right now.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Well, and you got married so young and had kids
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: so young. So do you feel like this is your
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: time in life where you're like, I'm on fucking television.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out and date and do whatever it
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: is that you maybe didn't get to do when you
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: were young that most people do get to do.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, for sure. I think this is definitely like
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: my me era, and you know, it looks maybe a
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: little bit different than most people's me era because I
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: have two children that are like my priority. But I
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: you know, I think that even you know, even after
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: Jake and I broke up, I just was like, I
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: just want to, like, I know, I need to focus
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: on myself and my kids in my career right now,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Like I don't. I don't have I know, I can't
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: give a relationship right now what I feel like a
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: relationship needs. And even now, like I've like barely dated
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: even since then, Like it's I don't really go out,
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: I don't do dating apps, I don't like, I don't
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: do much besides work, honestly right now. But I feel like,
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm open and open to whatever happens, but
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: I feel like it would kind of almost have to
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: fall in my lap just because I am at peace
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: with where I'm at right now. I'm not really looking
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: for anything and I'm just yeah, just focusing on my
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: kids and me and my career and we'll see where
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: it takes me. But I'm content with that for now.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: What a wonderful place to be right where you're just
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: at peace. And I saw this thing that Lady Gaga
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: said the other day. She was like, if you're trying
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: to decide between your career and a man, just remember
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: your career. Your career will never wake you up in
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: the middle of the night and tell you they don't
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: love you anymore.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. And that's the thing is I'm like,
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: what a man is competing with is that like it's
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: an it's not another man. It is my piece. And
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: that is an incredibly difficult thing to compete with because
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine living with a man.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: Oh. I know, once you get a taste of like
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: freedom and like control of the the energy and your environment,
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: it is it's men really do not have it easy anymore.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, I mean that that male loneliness epidemic
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: has really done its thing, and thank.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: God, I love it. I'm so grateful that you made
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: time for me today, and you guys, I want to
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: thank you for listening to another episode of Untraditionally La La.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: I'm going to catch you guys on Monday for a
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: bonus and again next week. Bye.