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Why Most People Are Stuck in Life: Unlock the Truth with These Insights · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We live in a very nihilistic culture, and I find
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: it in our entertainment. The idea of having a set
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: of principles that guide you in life. Man, that seems
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: so old fashioned, that seems so fussy, and so no. Man,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to be who I am. The values
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  Speaker 1: that are implanted in entertainment are completely nihilistic. They give
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: you no focus, they give you no direction, They don't
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  Speaker 1: tell you what actually matters in life. They give you
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  Speaker 1: all of these faults, these illusions about what life is about.
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  Speaker 1: Some of it stems from the kind of fractured society
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  Speaker 1: that we live in. Most cultures up until the twenty
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  Speaker 1: first century had a kind of cohesiveness to it. There
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  Speaker 1: were certain myths that people ascribe to, that set the boundaries.
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  Speaker 1: This is what unites us all. These are the things
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  Speaker 1: that are good. These are the things that we hate.
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  Speaker 1: These are the values that are good. These are the
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  Speaker 1: values that are bad. Now, sometimes those cultures, those conventions,
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  Speaker 1: those myths, we're not good. But then you had something
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  Speaker 1: to rebel against. What are you going to rebel against? Now?
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  Speaker 1: You don't even know what to rebel against now, because
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  Speaker 1: there's nothing. It's just pure chaos. Instead, of fetishizing AI
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  Speaker 1: fetishize the human brain, fetishize human powers, fetishize our sociabilities
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  Speaker 1: are a theory of mind. Theory of mind is what
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  Speaker 1: makes humans human, and what that means is we have
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  Speaker 1: the ability to put ourselves in the minds of other people,
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  Speaker 1: to imagine what they're thinking, what they're doing. That's what
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  Speaker 1: makes us a pre eminent social animal, which is the
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  Speaker 1: source of our power. What is your power? Your power
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  Speaker 1: is your ability to be social, is your ability to
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  Speaker 1: navigate difficult social environments. Your second power is your brain
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  Speaker 1: and all the incredible things it has. One of them
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  Speaker 1: is the ability to focus. One is the ability to learn.
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  Speaker 1: Is the plasticity of the brain. So the guiding metaphor
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  Speaker 1: if it's all technology makes us think that you know,
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  Speaker 1: with your smartphone you have all of these powers and
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  Speaker 1: you can't believe it. It makes you so impatient. Everything
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  Speaker 1: should be like my phone. Everything should be instant, everything
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  Speaker 1: should be at my fingertip. If my interested in that
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  Speaker 1: service goes down for a few hours, I get so cranky. Well,
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  Speaker 1: you're like a little baby, whining and crying. Right, No,
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  Speaker 1: what really should matter is not you don't have those powers.
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  Speaker 1: You can't press a button. Your brain isn't designed that way.
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  Speaker 1: It takes years to develop true skill. To be a
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  Speaker 1: master at something, you need to go back to these elemental,
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  Speaker 1: primal human qualities, our sociability. So get out of the
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  Speaker 1: virtual realm. Learn social skills, and you need brain skills.
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  Speaker 1: You need to develop skills, actual skills that you can
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  Speaker 1: use in this world. Now, the other thing you have
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  Speaker 1: to realize is what builds strength, what builds character is resistance.
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  Speaker 1: If you're trying to make your body physically stronger, need resistance.
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  Speaker 1: You need weights because weights our natural resistance. You need
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  Speaker 1: to swim, water is resistant, you need to run. You know,
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  Speaker 1: gravity is resistant, et cetera. That resistance builds muscle builds strength,
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  Speaker 1: builds aerobic power, et cetera, et cetera. Mentally, it's the
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  Speaker 1: same thing. The times that you live in are providing
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  Speaker 1: incredible amounts of resistance towards success, towards power, towards a
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  Speaker 1: sense of fulfillment. They are flooding your face with all
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  Speaker 1: kinds of qualities that you have to resist. And to
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  Speaker 1: the degree that you're aware of these qualities, and to
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  Speaker 1: the degree that you resist them, you will build inner strength.
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  Speaker 1: You will build the kind of life skills that are
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  Speaker 1: necessary to survive and thrive in a very, very tough world.
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  Speaker 1: One of these resistance factors is social media. Is the
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  Speaker 1: level of distractions that we're all facing. It's never ever,
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  Speaker 1: ever been so intense. And you have to realize you
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  Speaker 1: don't let everything into your body. You don't eat all
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  Speaker 1: this sugar. I hope at least you don't eat all
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  Speaker 1: the pizza that you think is great for you. You understand
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  Speaker 1: that you have to limit your diet to be healthy,
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  Speaker 1: particularly as you get older. You have to limit your
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  Speaker 1: sugar intake, among other things, etc. Okay, you have to
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  Speaker 1: limit the amount of stuff that's coming into your head.
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  Speaker 1: You have to put your head on a diet. You
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  Speaker 1: have to go. I can't be distracted. I can't absorb
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  Speaker 1: all of this information. The human brain, we can only
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  Speaker 1: retain so much in our short term memory, let alone
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  Speaker 1: our long term memory. You're flooding it with too much,
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  Speaker 1: and what happens is you're losing the ability to focus
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  Speaker 1: on simple things. To be successful, you have to have
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  Speaker 1: primarily the quality to focus, to concentrate, and that begins
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  Speaker 1: on small, banal tasks. This is a simple example, but
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  Speaker 1: if you're playing the piano or you want to be
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  Speaker 1: a chess master. You have to learn the basics. You
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  Speaker 1: have to learn the moves, the different games you can play.
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  Speaker 1: You have to learn how to do scales. You have
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  Speaker 1: to be very focused and attentive to it. So if
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  Speaker 1: you're trying to learn scales and learn how to play
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  Speaker 1: the piano and your mind is in twenty different places,
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  Speaker 1: you'll never master it. You have to develop the ability
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  Speaker 1: to concentrate, to focus, and the times that you are
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  Speaker 1: living in are making it increasingly so difficult for you
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  Speaker 1: that it's splintering your brain and your attention into a
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  Speaker 1: thousand different pieces, to the point where you can't even
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  Speaker 1: focus on your body, on yourself, on who you are
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  Speaker 1: and what makes you strong. So you've got to put
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  Speaker 1: your brain on a diet, and that means you've got
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  Speaker 1: to limit how much social media you let into your life.
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  Speaker 1: You have to limit how many different sources you're listening to.
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  Speaker 1: You can't be listening to one hundred different podcasts every week.
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  Speaker 1: Put yourself on a diet and say what is it
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  Speaker 1: that matters, what is important? And then that brings you
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  Speaker 1: to the second question, which is tied to the first. One,
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  Speaker 1: which is by far the most important step in your
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  Speaker 1: life with all of these things coming at you that
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  Speaker 1: are creating resistance, that are going to make it hard
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  Speaker 1: for you, which is who are you? What makes you unique?
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  Speaker 1: What were you born to achieve in this world? You
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  Speaker 1: have to be aware of that, and to be aware
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  Speaker 1: of that, you have to be able to focus. You
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  Speaker 1: have to have introspect, the ability to tune out things,
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  Speaker 1: and to look at yourself and go inward and go,
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  Speaker 1: this is what matters to me. This is what I hate.
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  Speaker 1: I realized early on. I hate politicking, I hate office politics.
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  Speaker 1: I hate working for other people. They annoy me. I
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  Speaker 1: feel like I can do a better job than they can. Therefore, Robert,
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  Speaker 1: you need to be an entrepreneur. You're not meant in
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  Speaker 1: this life to be working for other people. So you
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  Speaker 1: have to be attuned to yourself. You have to look
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  Speaker 1: in and go, this is what I hate, this is
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  Speaker 1: what I love. And you have to be honest because
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  Speaker 1: you can fool yourself. You can think that you love
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  Speaker 1: rock music and that you're meant to be a rock star.
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  Speaker 1: That's only that's because of the culture that you're living in.
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  Speaker 1: What your friends think is cool, that isn't necessarily who
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  Speaker 1: you are. You have to look at yourself. You have
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  Speaker 1: to go through a process us being honest and going
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  Speaker 1: what excites me, what do I feel like makes me unique?
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  Speaker 1: The power that you have in life is mining that uniqueness,
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  Speaker 1: mining that individual quality in whatever field you go into,
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  Speaker 1: even in business or being an entrepreneur. You can't have
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  Speaker 1: that self awareness if you can't focus, if you can't concentrate,
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  Speaker 1: if you can't be bored and take a notebook and
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  Speaker 1: start writing things out about your childhood, about who you are,
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  Speaker 1: about what you love and what you hate. If you
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  Speaker 1: can't do that, I'm sorry, but there's no hope for you.
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  Speaker 1: So you have to be able to put yourself on
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  Speaker 1: that information diet and go into that introspective process see
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  Speaker 1: who you are. By becoming who you are, you see
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  Speaker 1: what your fate is and you become that fate and
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  Speaker 1: you realize it by your self awareness. So a lot
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  Speaker 1: of people don't realize what they were meant to accomplish
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  Speaker 1: in life. When you figure it out, life becomes thrilling.
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  Speaker 1: It becomes an adventure. You know, if you want to
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  Speaker 1: be be a great basketball player or a chess master.
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  Speaker 1: In the beginning it's tedious, it's boring, it's hell. You're frustrated.
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  Speaker 1: Five years down the line, it's kind of getting easier
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  Speaker 1: and better. Ten years down the line, you're able to
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  Speaker 1: shoot sixty percent on three point shots. You become a
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  Speaker 1: grand master or whatever the step below that is. You're
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  Speaker 1: having fun. It's exciting. So following this path is actually
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  Speaker 1: the most thrilling thing you can be on because you're
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  Speaker 1: not going to do it if you think it's all
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  Speaker 1: drudgery and pain and I've got to spend so many
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  Speaker 1: years self sacrificing not being able to do. No. Man,
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  Speaker 1: you're going to have fun. Overcoming challenges. Getting good at
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  Speaker 1: something is the greatest high you can have. If you
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  Speaker 1: want to be an entrepreneur and you're twenty three years
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  Speaker 1: old and you go, now, I'm not really ready for it.
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  Speaker 1: I need to go back to business school. Okay. No,
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  Speaker 1: you start your business now and it fails and it's painful.
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  Speaker 1: Then you go, I'm going to do it again because
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  Speaker 1: I learned some terrible lessons. And you do it again
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  Speaker 1: and it succeeds. Man, what a feeling. You've overcome yourself,
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  Speaker 1: You've mastered your own weaknesses. You're having fun. People are
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  Speaker 1: admiring you. You have the attention that you want. It's
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  Speaker 1: a high. It's great. So mastering something, becoming great, figuring
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  Speaker 1: out what you want to do, it's the most fulfilling
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  Speaker 1: decision you can ever make. If you can delay immediate gratification,
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  Speaker 1: if you can say it'll come to something in three
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  Speaker 1: or four years, If I'm focused, if I'm energized, then
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  Speaker 1: you're going to reap the rewards. I guarantee you, because
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  Speaker 1: that's how the human brain is structured. This is a
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  Speaker 1: goal that you can have, and it's incredibly It'll give
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  Speaker 1: you life a sense of direction, so you don't need
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  Speaker 1: anything else. So when you have a sense of purpose,
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  Speaker 1: when you know what makes you unique, when you know
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  Speaker 1: what you're calling is in life, then if you hit
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  Speaker 1: a moment where you want to quit, all right, I'm
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  Speaker 1: not going to. I just need to go with a
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: slightly different direction here. When I was in my mid twenties,
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  Speaker 1: you know, in my journalism career, I was very unhappy.
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  Speaker 1: It wasn't working for me. I was depressed. So I
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  Speaker 1: go and I leave, and I go to Europe and
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  Speaker 1: I travel Europe, and I had a heck of fun.
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  Speaker 1: I was seeing credible things. I was learning languages, I
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  Speaker 1: was trying to write novels, but I was poor, and
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  Speaker 1: I was starting to get older, and I was going, God,
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  Speaker 1: this isn't working. And I got very depressed. And then
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  Speaker 1: I came back to Los Angeles and I go, I
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  Speaker 1: know I'm going to become a screenwriter. It's Hollywood. Hooray.
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to make money, but I'm going to write.
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  Speaker 1: It's going to be fine. I like theater. It's going
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  Speaker 1: to be exciting. I start going in. I hate Hollywood.
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  Speaker 1: It's soulless. I'm not very good at it. I start
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  Speaker 1: getting very depressed, probably the most depressed I've ever been
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  Speaker 1: in my life at that point, in my one bedroom
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  Speaker 1: apartment in Santa Monica, and I was like, God, damn it,
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  Speaker 1: what am I meant to do in life? And then
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  Speaker 1: I had a fortuity encounter with a man who produces books.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: He asked me for an idea for a book, and
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  Speaker 1: I kind of improvised the forty eight loss of Power
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  Speaker 1: and it all fell into place. But my lesson is
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  Speaker 1: my long witted story, is I got depressed. I got
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  Speaker 1: down on myself, but I never gave up. I kept
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  Speaker 1: saying I'm meant to write. I'm a good writer. I
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  Speaker 1: have a way with words. I'm undisciplined, I have flaws,
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  Speaker 1: but I can write. I have a message, I have
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  Speaker 1: something to say. I think a lot of people would
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  Speaker 1: have given up at that point, and I didn't give
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  Speaker 1: up because I had that inner voice saying you're meant
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  Speaker 1: to write, You've developed skill, don't give up. Keep trying,
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  Speaker 1: keep trying, and keep trying. It picked me up every
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  Speaker 1: single time. And so when I look at people and
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  Speaker 1: I go they don't have that, it's very sad because
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: if they face a situation like that, they do they
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  Speaker 1: give up, and then they go funnel down a dark tunnel,
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  Speaker 1: a dark path in life. I don't want you to
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  Speaker 1: get into that, that downward syndrome. I want you to
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  Speaker 1: see the fact that you have an overall frame and
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  Speaker 1: overall purpose that gives you that radar. So when things
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  Speaker 1: are bad, you don't give up. You just say I
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  Speaker 1: need to make a slight course correction to where I'm
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  Speaker 1: going in life. Even in these miserable times, even with
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  Speaker 1: all the problems, there is a path that will lead
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  Speaker 1: to something so different, and it'll turn your life around.
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  Speaker 1: All the twists in terms of my life weren't perfect,
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  Speaker 1: but they happened for a reason. They made me stronger.
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  Speaker 1: I learned from them. You can have a bad experience
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  Speaker 1: and you can throw your hands up in the air,
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  Speaker 1: goddamn it. Why that happened? I should have done something differently,
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  Speaker 1: or you can go I can learn from it. It
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  Speaker 1: happened for a reason. It taught me something. It taught
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  Speaker 1: me that this was the wrong thing I should do.
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  Speaker 1: It taught me that I am intended to do something differently.
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  Speaker 1: Everything in life is a lesson. Is teaching me what
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  Speaker 1: happens in life is kind of actually under your control,
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  Speaker 1: and the fate is saying that because it's something that
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  Speaker 1: is sort of inscribed in your genetic code, it was
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  Speaker 1: meant to happen that way, and you see it and
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  Speaker 1: you actualize it and you make it a positive thing.
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  Speaker 1: You discover what that seed is, what you were meant
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  Speaker 1: to accomplish in life.