Latest / Success Story with Scott Clary / Lessons - From Death Bed to TEDx Stage | Amberly Lago - Resilience Expert & Chronic Pain Warrior

Transcript

Lessons - From Death Bed to TEDx Stage | Amberly Lago - Resilience Expert & Chronic Pain Warrior · Success Story with Scott Clary

• 0:00
  In this lessons episode, discover how to build lasting resilience through simple mindset shifts
• 0:04
  and daily practice. Explore the pace or method that turns pressure into strength through
• 0:08
  perspective, acceptance, community, endurance, and rest, and understand why gratitude,
• 0:13
  healthy habits, and recovery are vital to sustaining growth and success.
• 0:17
  What are some tools or tips you've picked up on that really help you with resilience,
• 0:32
  with that mindset? You've sort of worked around and dabbled and spoken to some, but just
• 0:38
  really concrete strategies for people. Well, I think that especially with everything going
• 0:43
  on right now, and here in California, we've got our mask mandate back, and times are uncertain,
• 0:50
  and just figuring out, being an entrepreneur is that our work hours are different. Things
• 0:55
  are always changing. We usually have several different paths that we wear for a few different
• 1:00
  businesses or more, and so I think that it's so important to work on our resilience, and that's
• 1:07
  something that we can do every single day, and it's something that we can do in a moment where
• 1:11
  we feel tired or we feel anxiety, or we're starting to feel like we're going to hit a wall,
• 1:16
  and so for me, I have something called PASER, and it stands for perspective, acceptance,
• 1:22
  community, endurance, and rest, and we've talked a little bit, touched on that a little bit
• 1:28
  throughout the conversation, but perspective, I think, is really the quickest and easiest way
• 1:34
  to change the way you feel about your situation, and I think that that can be in any way,
• 1:40
  whether it's your financial situation, whether it's your getting caught up on comparing yourself
• 1:45
  to someone else on social media, or how much success they have versus what you have, or if you're
• 1:52
  anxious about something, a big event that you have coming out of, I think it's important to
• 1:58
  get grateful, and when you're in gratitude, it's alchemy. It changes what you don't have,
• 2:05
  into what you do have, and what you can't do, into what you can do, and just last night,
• 2:11
  I will share with you, we went out on a date for our anniversary, and it's the first time I've tried
• 2:17
  to put heels on, now my ankles fused, and my foot's deformed, but I managed to put this little
• 2:24
  heel on, it's only about that big, but I was like, I want to feel like sexy for our anniversary,
• 2:31
  and we get home, and I fell getting out of the car by the way, just to say, but I wore the heels,
• 2:37
  and I tried my best to walk the right way. Okay, listen, there's people that haven't had accidents
• 2:42
  that fall getting out of the car wearing heels, so you're good. My husband just like, he just shook
• 2:48
  his head, he was like, oh gosh, why didn't you just wear your boots, but I'm like, I'm doing it,
• 2:54
  and it's these little small accomplishments that we do, even if we don't do them well, that they
• 2:59
  start to build our confidence and make us feel good. But when we got home, I sat in the middle
• 3:05
  of the bathroom floor, and I was taking the strap that looked like more of a tourniquet around my
• 3:12
  swollen cancle, and I'm like, oh my god, and I just was looking at my leg kind of and discussed,
• 3:18
  and he goes, when I look at your leg, I say, oh my god, what a miracle, it's a miracle you have your
• 3:25
  leg, and that shifted my perspective, like yeah, it is a miracle. I went from disgust to gratitude
• 3:35
  real quick, and sometimes I think that if we have a hard time shifting our perspective, it's important
• 3:41
  to surround ourselves with people that can help us do that, and in order to have resilience or
• 3:48
  any kind of transformation leads me to the next part of pace, or which is acceptance, and that
• 3:56
  sometimes easier said than done for me. It was really hard. I was in denial about being diagnosed
• 4:01
  with a nerve disease. I had to accept that I could no longer run the way that I used to. I can run
• 4:08
  to chase after my daughter, and I did just beat her in a contest running from a stop sign to the car.
• 4:15
  She's always competing with me, and my husband's like, you had a little little lady beat you to
• 4:20
  the car, and I'm like, that's right, and so I still can run. It's not always pretty, but I can do it,
• 4:26
  but acceptance, I felt like it felt like defeat, and I had to shift my perspective on that,
• 4:33
  acceptance is really your, it's freedom. It gives you the choice to take action steps to make your
• 4:40
  life the best that it can be, and when we are in acceptance and we're authentic with our feelings
• 4:47
  and what we're going through, oh my goodness, that's when we can start to have the life that we've
• 4:52
  always imagined, and that's what really changed things for me, and it led me to a community of people
• 4:58
  on Instagram in my sobriety community, you know, in my life, and I think communities, you know,
• 5:06
  is the next part of PASER, and I think it might be the most important part of PASER, because when we
• 5:12
  have community, it's powerful, and sorry if you can hear the gardener, he just got here.
• 5:20
  No, I can't. That's the life of being in COVID, right? I go over home office, but community is so
• 5:31
  powerful. I felt so alone when I was going through some of the darkest moments of my life,
• 5:37
  and I can guarantee you that if you're feeling alone right now, and you're listening to this,
• 5:43
  and you're feeling like, well, nobody understands what I'm going through, nobody's going to get me,
• 5:48
  I don't know where to turn, I guarantee you there's somebody more than one person that's going through
• 5:52
  exactly what you're going through, and so reach out, reach out to someone, and you know what,
• 5:59
  that doesn't even have to be somebody that, you know, I connected to a community of CRPS warriors
• 6:06
  when I started looking at the hashtag CRPS Warrior, I wanted to be connected with people that
• 6:12
  were had passion and drive, and so I think it's really important to take a look at the people
• 6:17
  that you surround yourself with, and that doesn't just go for the people that are in your family,
• 6:22
  in your life. I know we can't get rid of family members, but we can limit the time that we spend
• 6:27
  with them if they're bringing us down, or they're not, they don't believe that our vision or our
• 6:32
  dreams, and that's okay, people won't always believe in your vision or your dreams, it's important
• 6:38
  that you do, and that you find people to connect with that are passionate, and that's those for
• 6:45
  social media too, if somebody that you're following brings you down, don't pull them, follow people
• 6:52
  who are paving the way, who inspire you, and because it takes a lot of endurance, and that's
• 6:59
  the next part of pace or endurance, I think is when our grit and our passion come into play,
• 7:08
  it's where, you know, we're not always going to be motivated, but if we look at why we're doing
• 7:13
  something, we focus on our why, then like I said before, it gets us through almost anyhow, but I
• 7:19
  think that we have to, in order to have endurance, I think it's important to set up really healthy
• 7:26
  habits and not rely on motivation or willpower, because let me tell you, that willpower is out the
• 7:33
  door if we are overtired, if we have an eaten, if we haven't taken care of our health, so set up
• 7:40
  those healthy habits, and that's why I think I've been able to get through COVID in a pretty graceful
• 7:47
  way, because I have set up healthy habits, not to say it's been easy, but because I have the
• 7:54
  strong foundation of habits of non-negotiables in my life that I do, I know that I have that
• 8:01
  foundation to tap into my inner source of resilience, and which leads me to the last part that I'm
• 8:09
  horrible at. Well, I'm going to rephrase that, I'm getting better at it, it's rest, and when I was
• 8:15
  explaining what I do every day to be more resilient to my husband, I said, honey, I've got a quick
• 8:21
  word that's going to help me get through every day, if I just remind myself of these things,
• 8:26
  and I'm explaining it to him, and he's like, I get to the word, our rest, and he's like, you are so
• 8:33
  foolish, okay, I cut some here, and I don't usually cut, but he does, and I was like, what do you mean?
• 8:40
  He goes, you don't rest, he goes, yeah, you do all that other stuff, but you don't rest,
• 8:45
  and it was really a wake-up call, and I had to learn the hard way of being hospitalized after
• 8:51
  going septic from not looking at what was going on in my body and pushing and pushing, and I was
• 8:57
  good at the grit, but I think it's so important to be resilient. We have to strategically stop
• 9:04
  sometimes and plan times to rest and recover, and however that may look like, that might be
• 9:11
  taken a break after zooms and going out in nature, taking your shoes off, walking through the
• 9:16
  grass and getting grounded, taking time to play, you know, scheduling out times where you do
• 9:22
  have some time off to be, create, like if we don't rest, it's hard to spark creativity. When I'm
• 9:28
  rested and I can get out there and do some of the things that I love, and I mean, I love my work,
• 9:34
  but how I can keep moving forward with my work is if I do things to take care of myself.
• 9:40
  If I do set an alarm on my phone for, okay, it's time to shut off the devices and go to bed,
• 9:47
  the emails will wait till tomorrow, the text messages will wait till tomorrow, the social media is
• 9:54
  done for the day, and I think as an entrepreneur with our hours being all over the place,
• 9:59
  that it's really important to schedule out those times to rest. Thanks for tuning in.
• 10:04
  If you found this valuable, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an
• 10:08
  episode, and if you want to dive deeper into this conversation, check out the links in the description
• 10:12
  to watch the full episode. See you in the next one.