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28: Be Flexible on the ”How” w/ Ryan Jaros · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living
• 0:15
  Welcome back to the Harder Than Life podcast, my lovely seagulls. I believe that everything in the world is vibrational energy. When I met today's guest, it was an instant vibrational match, so I had to have him on the podcast. Right now, he's relatively unknown, but not for long. The young man reminds me of me, but is 20 years younger and going to do laps around what I have accomplished, and we're going to help him. His Pursuit of Precision brand and website is a must visit at pursuitofprecision.com.
• 0:43
  His smile and mustache light up any room, and once you get him talking, his intelligence shines. I am honored to introduce Ryan Jarosz. Thank you. Thank you for having me. What's your story, and why does your story matter, Ryan?
• 1:00
  What is my story and why does my story matter? What a question to start us off here. I think I was thinking about it a little bit in the car right here, to be honest with you. And I think that I'm very grateful for my upbringing and the situation that I grew up in through doing some podcasts myself.
• 1:21
  I found that a lot of people that have done really, really well did have tough upbrings and did have a lot of tough situations that they went through. And I think my story is a little different in the fact that I'm very grateful for the parents that I had in my life and how they put me first. And so I think that's where my perspective is a little bit different. I could have very easily had a very comfortable relationship.
• 1:43
  life moving forward and just took an easy job and and done something that is kind of basic just due to my upbringing it's it's very common to be a w2 normal employee and i think that i just had different aspirations than than to continue in that same fashion
• 2:03
  So it says, we're going to deviate already because you went down a path that I didn't expect, but it's awesome. Talk to me about family then. You're married. You just got a dog. Tell me about the day in the life of Ryan and what family means to you and how you're able to pay it forward for your wife. It's a very interesting time in my life, to be honest, because.
• 2:24
  We've only had the dog now for 72 hours, and it's already showing me how much both Haley and I have worked as a team in just us two, right? Adding that dog into the equation has just shown me so much about, wow, you guys are really working a lot, and you don't spend much time doing anything other than work, and the only time that we ever spend...
• 2:52
  Together is when we're doing something very intentional for us. And so showing us now how can we integrate a little bit. If we talk like we want to have kids and we want to have a family and we want to do all these things, we're going to have to make some changes. We're going to have to trust more of our staff. We're going to have to maybe add more staff. We're going to have to think about our businesses in different ways to be able to have the life that we want to have.
• 3:15
  So you're being modest. You own a company. She owns a company. You're young, and you guys are in the thralls of life doing it the right way. That's why I had you on, because you two are wise beyond your years, and the listeners are all going to want to hear this. And you said I was humble on your podcast. You're being very humble. You need – I want you to open up and say – You want me to expand about what my actual day in the life looks like? Exactly. Okay. So –
• 3:43
  I'll lay the land a little bit here. So I own a hockey training business. It's a training facility, 6,000 square feet inside of a rink in Frazier. And that was a business that I started now just over three years ago. And in addition to that, I have a roofing business. So that was the first thing that I did starting out of college. So I started with the roofing business. I took that job intentionally because –
• 4:11
  I was 1099, and I was going to have the opportunity and flexibility to do other things and pursue other things, which was the hockey business. So I have the hockey business. I have the...
• 4:24
  roofing business, and then I have just recently started the podcast in the Pursuit of Precision brand that we're working to grow. So a couple things there. So juggling all those is a lot, and I'm still learning my schedule, to be honest with you. First thing in the morning, my days are very, very structured depending on what's going on. So my Mondays and Fridays are my days that I have a little bit more freedom to do.
• 4:46
  do meetings and do plans with my team. And then my Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I'm very hands-on with the roofing business as I'm training the next sales guy that's going to be kind of taking over a lot of the roles that I have. So I'm constantly doing things now. They're going to set me up to be in a better position the next year.
• 5:04
  next year, the next few years after that. So my Mondays and Fridays wake up, and I immediately am going to have breakfast, get moving, do yoga, do my whole routine in the morning to kind of get my body ready to go.
• 5:19
  And then I immediately go into work time for me. And that's one thing that I've learned is very, very important is I don't take any meetings typically. You're an exception today. But typically I don't do anything before noon on those days because I need time to focus on the bigger pictures and strategizing and really thinking about all those businesses because it is a lot.
• 5:40
  I have to have time for myself to think about those things. So in the mornings, I'm always strategizing and doing things of that nature up until about noon. I take my first meeting for my hockey business at 1.00.
• 5:53
  which is with my manager and my other, he's the head of skill development, so my two main managers at that facility. Take that at 1 o'clock. Then my next meeting starts at 2, and that's with the roofing team. So I have a manager and a sales representative and then our door knockers that are all a part of this meeting where we'll kind of strategize, okay, what's coming up this upcoming week? And then from there, I'll be able to do that.
• 6:19
  It can kind of get a little erratic because those are the main things I need to get done. But then from there on out, usually from call it three to seven or eight, I'm now kind of implementing a lot of the strategic things that I think about early in the day. So that's just my Mondays and Fridays. That's like my strategy days. How old are you? 28.
• 6:39
  She's like an old man. Structure, structure, structure. Why do you have your Metamuse? No, I'm just kidding. And your wife owns a gym. Correct. An all-women's gym. Beyond Fitness Family. I'm going to plug it. Yeah, of course, man. Of course. That's the popular thing. You know, my fitness is the number one most important thing to me. If I didn't do it,
• 6:58
  I just couldn't make it through my day. It's so funny. There's more than one way to skin a cat in this world. You're an afternoon guy. I'm a morning guy. By 1, 2 o'clock, my day's winding down. But I started at 4, 4.30, and it's insane. And, you know, it doesn't matter. Whatever works for you, it makes you happy. So that's – but I will tell you, this is why I wanted you on –
• 7:17
  28 and having that kind of structure when I was 28, I was still wondering, you know, what I was going to do next. I, I owned this, I owned national technology management, but I didn't know what I didn't know. And I didn't care. I was in the thralls of my party and my daughter, daughter hadn't been born yet. And I was just rocking it out. So, so,
• 7:36
  The world needs to understand that it's never too early to get started. And I'm just in awe of what you're doing. And I want the world to understand that, man, get going because you can make a difference no matter how old you are. I just love the love that you two have between each other. But what do you want your legacy to be then? Let's go into that. I ultimately want to help people.
• 8:02
  understand and believe that their life can be better and can be completely different than how it started because that's where for me why I got so excited and felt so moved to start the pursuit of precision brand is because I wasn't always this person and I'll be very clear on that so you're you're looking all this structure here we go all the structure and everything that
• 8:26
  you see now is due to a lot of things that I struggle with and all of my, my things that are insecurities. Truthfully, I had ADHD severely when I was a kid and I let that get the best of me in a lot of different situations. When I was young, I was all over the place, not very organized, very, I was, I was highly medicated when I was really young in order to control the
• 8:48
  my behavioral issues. Right. And I, what I can say, and this is kind of my belief on medication and stuff is I learned a lot from those years though, because it kind of taught me how to slow down and how to think through things differently. And so I hope that there are people that can use that medication in that way, because I don't think that medication is all bad. It's, you can learn from the things that it teaches you.
• 9:12
  That's so good. What you just said over, I got to stress that, learn. So many times we don't learn from anything. And then we keep repeating the same thing over. That's the proverbial, we're on the hamster wheel. So tell me what was the straw that broke the camel's back? Because for me, it took till I was 40, and I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired and tired of having a hangover and tired of not...
• 9:38
  coming with my full effort. And now I scare everybody and I haven't even got to my full effort. If I get the sleep dialed in, look out. I'm going to, I'm on a mission from God and I'm here to frickin' make a dent. I'm going to help you a lot. So wish I would have done this at 20. But what was the trial that broke the camel's back for you to say, this enough is enough and make, I didn't say any change. I don't, you didn't say anything about change, but you said deal with your insecurities. So talk to me about that.
• 10:05
  Yeah, so it was seeing that there are people doing so much more than I ever believed would be possible for myself. And understanding that you can change so much. That was the biggest, when you say the straw that broke the camel's back, was realizing that...
• 10:23
  that you don't, I'm not just born a certain way, and that's how it's going to be for the rest of my life. As soon as I saw other people making change, doing things that were way above what I thought was possible, I was inspired. And I said, if they can do it, I can do it too. Do you have an example of somebody? I do. I'll name drop them. You're a fitness guy. You might know who he is. Do you know who Christian Guzman is?
• 10:45
  I do not. Do you know the brand Alphalete? No. Well, glad to see this is how the universe aligns itself. So now I'm just going to make a new friend of a friend. He's my biggest dream to have on the podcast. Cause he was without a doubt the biggest inspiration that I had when I was starting out. So I was like 20 years old. He had a YouTube channel and he, he's like two years older than me. So he would have been 22 or 23 at the time. Is he a soccer player? No. No.
• 11:09
  He's like a fitness influencer is kind of what his background is. But then he created a clothing apparel line that I think they just hit. They're at $100 million in sales right now and revenue this year. Is it a success or is there something specific about his qualities that you like?
• 11:29
  So at that time, it wasn't like that. That's what I'm getting at. So at the time, he was just a YouTuber showing his life, showing the things. He just owned a small gym. It was like, I mean, small at the time compared to what he's done now. But I think it was 2,000, 3,000 square feet at the time is what I was looking at. But for me, being someone that my aspiration was to open a hockey training facility because my background was hockey,
• 11:52
  I looked at him at 22, 23 years old. I'm like, how is he doing this? And him showing his day-to-day life on this YouTube channel was showing me that he's a normal, everyday guy that wasn't any smarter or any different than me. And if I just changed my habits and started paying attention to the things that he was doing, I could replicate them. And hopefully, that was my initial thought, was if I just do what he does every day.
• 12:15
  And I know there's a growing phase throughout that. But if I just do what he does every day, maybe I'll get the same result. That was how I started. And then that led me down the rabbit hole of like personal development. And that's when I really started to understand habits and beliefs and all these things that yield the success that you have. What are your beliefs then? But we all have beliefs. What are your core beliefs to propel you into what you're doing right now?
• 12:40
  I think a lot of it comes down to sitting down and actually asking yourself good questions and actually saying, what do you want, Ryan? Those are my core beliefs are, and this is for everybody, is being honest and writing down questions.
• 12:57
  What does my dream life look like, actually, if I was honest with myself? No restrictions, no limitations, no whatever. In fantasy land, what does your life look like? And just asking, okay, what are the five things that I need to do in order to create that? And it could start super small. It could be as simple as losing 20 pounds to start.
• 13:17
  And that was something that I got into early on was learning how to diet and track my macros and do all that kind of stuff. But it came down to asking a question and then jotting down three or four things that would yield that result. And then I started building upon it and building upon it. And it started as simple as losing weight to now owning businesses. And then, okay, how do I become a good husband or be desirable enough to be a good husband, right? So there's all these little things that I keep that same logic for. If I ask myself good questions, I usually get good answers.
• 13:47
  Ask yourself better questions. Boy, that's so simple. It's silly. I just love that you're on it. You're well beyond your years. And I tell you, I read an article, and this is why I'm so big into it, is that physical fitness and keeping yourself in shape and doing it disciplined consistently daily, if you do that, you've got 90% to 95% of the battle licked because that...
• 14:09
  instills the work ethic that you need to succeed in anything in life. So people, why do you always post with your shirt off in the morning? I do that intentionally. It is not to show off. I couldn't care less what people think. It doesn't matter to me. It is kind of nice to know that I'm 47 years old and I have a six pack. That means that I work my chuchus off
• 14:29
  Every day. I don't take days off. So that's the first and foremost thing. And when I'm doing that, I'm listening to a podcast. So I'm constantly advancing my mind and my body. And that's 99% of the battle right there. And then...
• 14:45
  what you feed the people you're around, what you, what you consume, what you take in. I mean, I am a no negative guy. If you're negative, that's why I keep getting drawn to you, man. It's like, you're just so smart and, and, and intelligent. And then just, just good people, good energy. And I'm sure that's why your, your, your wife was drawn to you. And I just, you're doing things the right way. And I'm really proud of you. So I want to share this with everybody. I think I know the answer to this too, but,
• 15:13
  What gets you out of bed in the morning? What gets you out of your bed? That can be, that's a really interesting question because I struggled with that for, in the last, it was very easy for me when I had nothing to start. It was very easy to be motivated and be fired up to get out of bed.
• 15:32
  it's like that fight or flight situation, right? And then I got to a place where I'm like, my why needs to change. It was like three or four years into really getting it hard and did pretty well in terms of my businesses and stuff. And I hit a place where I'm like, Ryan, you're wise. Your reasons need to change because you're not feeling that same fire when you wake up in the morning. And because that repetitive...
• 15:57
  more money, more whatever. And I needed to figure out what those new wise were. So what is it? So I actually. And tell me today's wise, whatever the most interesting one that you think is.
• 16:11
  I have a couple of them, so I categorize them typically. So I don't have them all off the top of my head. I keep it all organized in my phone. So I have personal ones. I have business ones. I have a number of different things. So one of them for, I guess we could start with the financial one because that's what people love hearing, the financial stuff. But for me, my financial goals are now not to accumulate wealth. It's what is that wealth going to do for me?
• 16:36
  And so right now, the biggest thing, and it's situational to the time of my life, right now, Haley and I just got married. We don't have kids yet. And we haven't really experienced much of the world. We spent so many of our first five, six years of our working life
• 16:53
  doing nothing but work, building our businesses, spending countless hours. But we haven't really seen much. And so after we went on our trip to Greece for our honeymoon, it was a huge eye-opener to be like, this is the best thing and the most special thing that we've ever shared together. And so my financial goal right now, my why, is so that we can go and travel and see the world. What's the next place you're going to go? Yeah, we just booked it, Italy. Congrats. That's on my bucket list too. Yeah.
• 17:23
  I can't, my mind is blown with you. You, you were wise behind your ears. I mean, it's, I was just gonna say chase experiences, not things. Yeah. Because it's all about how you feel in the moment and experiencing life.
• 17:38
  not this shiny new car, like makes you feel better for a minute. The experience changes your life. Bought a house in Florida because I saw a sunset that was so beautiful. It moved me. So I also want to go back to more wisdom of Ryan is setting goals and then smashing them. So what happens is, and I'm the same way, man, I've been doing this for four years now and my why changes things.
• 18:05
  almost week to week. It's a new me every single week. I literally, I've learned I'm an alien, I think, or I'm at least a chosen one from God or something. Something's not right about me because I literally work on myself more each day than you think I've arrived. And what my goal is is freedom.
• 18:24
  I like freedom. And I'm not talking just financial freedom, freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want. And I need peace. Yeah. And I want to be at peace. That's a hard one. That's one that I struggle with personally.
• 18:35
  I was thinking about it this morning and I made notes too that said the same thing. I want to be softer. I want to be loving. I'm going to be accepting. I'm going to be at peace. And it's hard to be at peace when you're at war with yourself. Yeah. And it's when you're an alpha male like we are, you're always at war. Yeah. When I hit the, my feet hit the ground in the morning, it's fricking go time. It is win or crush things. Yeah.
• 18:59
  So set big goals. Even if you only achieve 80% of it, you've smashed an achievable goal through the roof. So again, you are saying these things without saying them. I don't know if you're being modest or it's just you're well beyond your ears and that's why I had to have you on this. You're fantastic. You live in life the right way and when you continue doing this, your dream will become a reality and will be your normal life and you'll wake up and going, well, what?
• 19:27
  Why, you know, that's why I did all this. I'm curious, and I've been asking a lot of successful people this lately. What is your relationship with alcohol? I've definitely had, I've had negative, many, many negative experiences with alcohol. I think we had a talk about this previously, but...
• 19:48
  It's one of those things for me where I try not to run away from, I don't want to completely remove it from my life or anything for that matter. I mean, let's take it with a grain of salt. We're not talking heroin or anything crazy like that. But the point is, I think that I can have a healthy relationship with it as I should and as I feel I should with everything.
• 20:13
  And that's a personal thing. I mean, everybody looks at it differently. But for me personally, I want to be okay with going out to dinner with my family and saying, I'm going to have one cocktail and I'm going to go home. And I'm going to have a great time with my family and not feel disoriented or a number of things that are negative effects when you abuse it, right? But I want to be able to say...
• 20:35
  I can have a drink and it's not going to impact who I am or the decisions I make or the person I am. Right. And so it is very difficult because I've told that line a number of times. And obviously it's dangerous. You can you can go too far. And I've had a number of times where I've done that. And Haley supported me through every time that I went through something like that. So very grateful for her for that.
• 20:57
  You were about to go down the path that I was going to say, and I'll say it. I obviously choose not to drink at all. I have the contrast. I still don't think there was an issue. I definitely went overboard a lot and did a lot of stupid things.
• 21:12
  I believe that where you were going to go was to say, I've dealt with and am dealing with those issues, those trauma, the things that you're running from, the things that people tend to run from when they overindulge in alcohol. And I love how you said that. It's what works for me to not have any. I love the fact that you said I want to have a healthy relationship with him and have one. My normal thing is one or two.
• 21:37
  And keep it at that. I choose none. That's just my perfect preference. I also work out seven days a week, meditate twice. I'm insane. I love that. That works for me. I'm not saying that this is what you got to do. And I love that you have contrast. But I do really appreciate that you want to have that in your life. And keep it to a dull roar, which is moderation. And what I feel is that whenever something like that happened, and this is where I came to this conclusion for me personally,
• 22:05
  It was a trauma or something that I wasn't dealing with that caused the alcohol. It wasn't the alcohol making me a bad person. It was me being a bad person and the alcohol slapping me in the face to show me. You just I want to do a microphone drop right there because truthfully, and I will tell you this, this is going to be a. Um.
• 22:25
  I get a little lack, a little, people say that alcohol is a disease. I believe it is something dear, deep in your trauma that keeps coming up in your subconscious that makes you want to drink. So if you address that, which I did through massive therapy, but I did it backwards. I quit drinking and then I had all the feels. I went, what?
• 22:45
  the heck is this? And it was hard. And then I said, okay, let's deal with this head on. And then I knew the moment that it broke loose. It was in hypnotherapy and it broke loose. And I'm like, I'll never drink again. Yeah. I have zero. I have bars in every house at every place. I have a huge tiki bar by my pool.
• 23:04
  There's alcohol everywhere. I have zero desire to drink ever because I healed it. But it's always a little bit more healing. I just discovered in EMDR therapy, as you can hear, I try everything. That's probably why I don't drink anymore because I try any kind of booze. I'm doing this EMDR therapy. And another little small childhood trauma that was actually flaring up and causing triggers with me kept coming up. So, again, you're wise behind your years to be able to see adversity,
• 23:33
  Look and see how you're adding to it. That's one of the things, self-awareness. You started off with the various being self-aware and realizing, what am I leading into this? What am I doing to cause this? And then you correct the behavior. Brilliant at 28. If I would have started at 28, I would be on the Ed Milet podcast or sitting with Joe Rogan right now kicking his butt. So I fully expect you to do that. I'm going to do my best. What are some of your non-negotiables in life?
• 24:03
  Non-negotiables.
• 24:06
  And you hit me with these questions. It's tough to think on the spot with these questions. You know what, Ryan, just think about it like this. You live a really good life. What would you say hell no to? My non-negotiable, the first and foremost one is my health. And I'm going to throw, that's a big blanket statement, but I was just thinking about it the other day. Someone was talking to me about, I think they were asking me about how I got to where I was at or how I physically look the way I do. I said, listen,
• 24:34
  I don't work out crazy hard. I don't do any crazy exercises. I'm not extreme on a lot of things I do. But I'll tell you what, I don't think I've missed a week in the gym seven, eight years. I genuinely don't think I have. Yeah, there's been times where I've only went two days a week or things, life happens, right? But there's not been a full week that I've missed the gym in probably seven, eight years.
• 25:03
  So my health and I mean, a gym is a huge portion of that. But now I'm starting to get into as I'm getting older. Now you hear me talk about yoga and stretching and all the now I got to do all this stuff to make sure that I can kind of maintain my body. Yeah, I think I waited till about thirty five to even think about stretching till everything started hurting. So just wait. But again, you're ahead of the curve and it's just I'm in awe of you. I'm really I'm I'm but I.
• 25:27
  in a healthy way where I'm rooting you on, man is that's what I love about my life now is I I'm cheering everybody on. I want, and then the people that get it, I'm going to back with everything I got. And I'm a good friend to have because I'm coming with, um, I'm coming correct. And I'm coming with a vengeance. And, and we were talking about life and it was,
• 25:50
  I did have a chip on my shoulder growing up the way that I did. And it was easy to wake up and be like, I'm going to show them. And now I don't have that angst. Yeah. So I got to manufacture good, positive thoughts. And you started with gratitude. Gratitude is huge. Being present in the moment, knowing that I'm going to share a room with you again after we had our podcast. It's just...
• 26:10
  Life is so good if you just let it and you get out of your own way. It's just nice. I'm going to hit you with one that you're going to, this is going to be a big one. I'm not going to know what to answer again. Here we go. What's your biggest fear? My biggest fear. My biggest fear. I do have an answer for this one. My biggest fear is that my life didn't matter.
• 26:32
  The things that I did while I was here are forgotten in some way. And so I think that's where I'm so motivated to put stuff into the world, create businesses, physical locations, create impact in people's lives is because I want to have, if I was given the opportunity to be here, I want it to matter. It's beautiful. It's beautiful that you just like, am I, I got, it's triggered me because that's exactly what, what,
• 27:02
  I'm going to pause because I don't even know how to put in words. I didn't, I wasn't sober enough to think about that. And the self-awareness that you have, if I was, were sober enough to think about that, I would get really down and I'd start drinking because I knew I wasn't being my best self. I wasn't, I was putting maybe 50% in and 50% was viewed as society massively successful, at least financially. I hated myself. So,
• 27:29
  Now I'm doing probably about 75 to 80. And as I said, if I could sleep more, I'd give about 150. I was going to talk to you about that. I'm reading a book right now. May God help the world. And I'm going to figure this thing out. I had a guy on that I made a couple of changes and it helped for a little bit. And then it kind of pulled back.
• 27:49
  I am so excited about life right now that I start, I wake up about three in the morning and my mind just starts going and it's like, okay, you know, I want to, I, part of what I would do in today and I'm always tinkering. I want to deviate from my questions more and I want to just roll and I'm always trying to tinker. I'm tinkering in the gym. I'm tinkering in my mind. I, I'm working on a couple of small triggers that still keep coming up.
• 28:16
  just want to get better, man. And I, and my goal is to help more people. And I want to, and my, I do have one financial goal. It's to write that big check to charity at the end of the year from the heart of the life. And right now we're way behind, but as you know, in sales, we can catch up real quick. So we just pitched our first, um,
• 28:34
  our first sponsorship. They, they passed for a minute, but they said they will in the fall. So we're going to start getting sponsorships and we're going to meet our goals and it's going to be fun. Yeah. And it's, um, that's all this is for. And I got to give, I'm here for a reason. You're here for a reason. We're all here for a reason. Even if it's sometimes a God awful lesson, tell us something you believe in that almost nobody agrees with you on.
• 29:01
  You know, I have these ideas, and I probably have answered that in my head at some point. Now I've got to think about it. What is something that I believe in? Man. That's a hard one, man. I know I've answered this question in my head before, but I'm trying to think of what it was. What do I believe in? I'll give you mine. I believe that most people are good, and I believe that nobody sets out to be negative. Okay, you just sparked it.
• 29:32
  that. You're like my little brother, man. I love it. I love you, man. I'm sorry. I, I just, I, I just, I don't know why, but we connect and I hope the feelings are mutual, but I just, every time I'm around you and I'm talking with you, I just feel good and I like it. I just, I hope that the audience feels this and anything I can do to help you, man, we're going to, we're going to do a lot of stuff together. So sorry to steal your mouth. Absolutely. I, I believe that
• 29:58
  Nobody doesn't have the ability to have an amazing life. I don't believe it. And I think that's so contrary to what everybody else believes. I don't believe there's one person that can't have an amazing life because I, and this is another tangent onto that. I think the person that,
• 30:15
  lives in Africa that goes from absolute poverty to simply maybe making a soccer team and playing soccer is the same level of happiness as someone that maybe starts off in their families are millionaires and they turn that million in the building billions. I don't think because it's a larger number or a bigger accomplishment that the happiness or the pride in what you've done is any different. Yeah.
• 30:44
  There was some study that I just read that talked about, what do they call this? Not third world countries, but they call them the green zones. The green zone places. There's five of them. I got to look it up. But it's either five or seven places in the green zone where it's just very simple living. And they're the happiest places on earth. And meaningless to say, they're not in the United States. There might be one. I got to look this up. And I'm sorry, I'm not prepared. I wasn't expecting you to go there. But I agree. I think...
• 31:15
  100% of what it is is between our ears. Yeah. If we are able to control our thoughts and think better thoughts. Yeah. And think in the present. I just got a message from somebody, random somebody that said, on social media, it said, what did you, how do you deal with your thoughts and emotions? How did you deal with your thoughts and emotions after you quit drinking? And I knew exactly where they were at. I'm like, oh, good grief.
• 31:39
  So, um, that is a training exercise that you got to work and you got to think really good thoughts because your mind starts what they call spinning. And it is, that is the worst. That's why people drink. They want to calm that feeling down or take drugs. Yeah. And they want to tap out. You could, you could do video games. You could, there's, you could scroll on social media for four hours and that's just as bad as drugs in my opinion. You're brilliant. Brilliant.
• 32:07
  what's the best and worst advice you've ever received? Best advice I've ever received. I don't even know if there's a specific person that would have said this, but just a mantra more so is, and I don't want to sound too cliche, but at the end of the day, I genuinely believe that you can really accomplish anything that you can
• 32:32
  Will you put the time and energy into doing it? Maybe not. Can you accomplish anything that you want in life? I believe so. I believe that. And that ties into what I just said about anybody in the world can accomplish anything they want. It just comes down to do they want it and will they take the actions it takes to get there? Do they want it and will they take the actions? That is the true. Massive action. You just define manifestation.
• 32:59
  So that's brilliant. What about the worst piece of advice you received? I mean, I don't know if it's advice, but I think the people that believe that happiness lies in what you can prove or attribute to your level of worth or success.
• 33:25
  To me, I don't want to be negative, but those are the worst people in the world. The people that put their Ferrari or their house in terms of their worth are the saddest and actually most depressed people there are.
• 33:41
  Again, I want to go back to, I believe most people are good. They believe that's their dopamine hit. That's their drug. And I'd love to get my hands on them and give them a hug and say, you matter. That's external validation versus internal validation. No doubt. That's the single hardest thing ever.
• 34:02
  To address in this world. If we can figure that out. That's what we're going to do, Ryan. We're going to keep spreading that word. Good choices. Good thoughts. Discipline. Consistency. Repeated, repeated, repeated, repeated over a long period of time. And eventually, you win. Because when people are addicted to drugs and alcohol or negativity, they've been doing that for years. That didn't happen just overnight. No. So, if you were offered a mulligan in life, what would you do over? Mm-hmm.
• 34:32
  I think it's pretty simple. Just started earlier. I wish I would have just started getting into professional development earlier. That's it. And just looking in the mirror more often. I think that's the most growth that I've ever saw was when I started looking in the mirror more often. What did you find? What was the scariest thing you found? This is...
• 34:51
  The scariest thing I've ever had. I'll tell you mine. This is vulnerability as can be, is that I didn't think I deserved love. And I still struggle with that. My mother and my stepfather were so abusive and so bad. The people that I was supposed to trust to protect me didn't. So I had a really distorted view of love. And I'm getting better. And especially being in this space,
• 35:18
  I realized that everybody loves me. Yeah. And even the people that don't are just projecting. And I don't take that personally, but I just want to be loved. And so that was hard when I looked in the mirror and went, I love myself. And I do that to this day. I still do mirror work. If I'm really feeling down, one of the freaking habits that I'll do is I'll go sit, stand in front of the mirror. And for five minutes, I'll set a timer and say, I love myself.
• 35:47
  That's when things are, that's the coping skills that I have to do sometimes when I'm really, really, really triggered. Cause when I get triggered, it's, it has to do with my childhood. It's a five-year-old me feeling inadequate, man. You know, I'm not inadequate, but I don't seek external validation. I don't go and say, this is what I'm feeling. I take care of it myself. I love, I love when you answer first. Cause it kind of, it's cause you're my little brother. Yeah.
• 36:14
  My thing, the worst thing that I think I still deal with that I think I found is that I had a deep desire to prove myself to everybody. And I think it comes from so much of...
• 36:29
  When I was a kid, I was small. I was an athlete. And so, as you can imagine, I got beat up on a lot. Made you tough. Well, and it was, yeah, definitely, that's what I was going to say. There's a lot of positives that came with that because when I was younger, I played up in age groups as well.
• 36:45
  So I was pretty good at the time. And they bumped me up in age groups. And so I was always playing against bigger, stronger, faster, taller people. And so I always felt kind of inadequate, honestly. I always felt behind. I always felt like I needed to be doing more. And so that inspired a lot of good, hardworking habits that I developed. But it carried into my adulthood of feeling I got to prove to everybody that I'm doing it. I'm doing the dang thing, you know.
• 37:13
  Yeah, you are my little brother, man. I did the same thing. My birthday's late in the year, and I went to school where kids tend to be held back. So I would play against kids that were two years older than me all the time and were massive. I did not fill out until my sophomore year in college.
• 37:32
  So I was really, really small, and I had a chip on my shoulder, and I was fast and athletic, and I could keep up with them, but there was definitely a disadvantage, and I'd leverage that disadvantage, and I would out-hustle and out-work, and I bet you you're the same. I think I learned my biggest advantage from that, that experience, was that I genuinely believed that I could experience and go through more adversity than anybody else. Boom. I always...
• 37:59
  That was what I prided myself on was I was always small, but I would be trying to hit everybody. And if I got smoked, I was the first one to get up. My dad will tell you stories about how many times I got absolutely flatlined and I would never land the ice because my pride wouldn't let me. So how do you deal when there is no adversity? Because, I mean...
• 38:17
  No real major. That's what I told you has been very difficult, to be honest with you. And so you have to kind of create what are those whys now? Like, what do you want out of life? And I think it just comes down to, again, I'm grateful for having the opportunity to even be here. That's really what it comes down to. And why would I go through my life or through days where I'm just going to throw them away or waste them? There's so many people that aren't as fortunate as I am. Who am I to throw that away, that opportunity?
• 38:47
  I'm glad you didn't say I create or I manifest or create adversity. No. Because really what everything I read now is you figure out the what and the why and you just be present in how will appear. And it just the more that you marry the process, which is doing your daily routines and divorce the outcome, the more that outcome will happen. Yeah.
• 39:15
  For a guy like me, and I imagine since you're similar, a guy like you, that is the hardest thing. Because I've always been told in sales, because you're in sales too, knock on more doors. The more that you do, the more you'll receive. And the weirdest thing about it is that's actually, it is true for short term. That's what I was going to say. That's the first phase. Yeah. And the funniest thing about it is if you just release and surrender and still do the same things.
• 39:39
  massive success happens. I think, and I'm just coming into that. I think it makes you weird. It makes you more flexible on your how, because I was so here's, here's the result. Cause I, I was always, I was a statistics tutor when I was a kid or when I was in college, I'm sorry. And so I always look at things as result equation, um,
• 40:02
  I just do the equation and I'm going to get the result like an emotionless robot. And what you just said speaks to exactly what I'm getting at in regards to if you ultimately surrender to that, it allows you to be more flexible on how you get there and you could get better results. That's the craziest part is you could set a goal and you don't even realize that your potential could be 10x that. Yeah.
• 40:29
  You just blew my, I just wrote that down and you're going to hear it on every podcast now and everything I say and every freaking inspirational and motivational speech. Flexible on the how, because to give a real example is we're door knockers. We used to knock on doors. I think you still do. So if you wanted to meet financial goals, you would walk on more doors.
• 40:52
  But now you start thinking, okay, my financial goals are X or Y. And then you can only knock on so many doors, period, even if you stayed later. But if I coupled the podcast with it, people will know my name. And when I hit on more doors, I'll sell more because I'm not making a relationship. They'll already know who I am.
• 41:16
  And you're not working as hard, but you're working smarter. And boom, that flexibility in the house. And all I ever knew was knock on more doors. I know. Knock on more doors. I'm the same way. Because to me, there's comfort in knowing that this works. Instead of just trusting that there are better opportunities out there. The comfortable misery is what I'd always call it. That's why people don't change. Look out, Ryan. Unbelievable. You're blowing...
• 41:44
  It is miserable. It is, though. You're right. Because you're like, then it becomes a mundane task where you're just doing this. You're just like a robot. Well, we're using knocking on doors, but we could use anything. It could be in a relationship. It could be a job. It could be drugs and alcohol. It could be porn. It's just the familiar misery versus the uncomfortable happiness. No doubt. You are just...
• 42:11
  I can't wait to see you in two years, let alone 10 years. Define success for me then. This ought to be good. Success to me, and I'll refer back to the other questions that we talked about, is simply the difference between where you started to where you're at now.
• 42:30
  Doesn't matter where that is. You could be at ground zero or you could be, like I said, for me, I feel very fortunate for where I started. So I think the greatest happiness, the greatest success is how far you can get from where you started. So what is it?
• 42:46
  If you don't, if you stay the same, I know it's not an option in your life or mine, but there are a lot of people that are there sitting or listening to this right now going, oh, I pick things up. I put them down. I do the same thing over and over every day. And my life sucks. My, you want my honest, genuine opinion? No, lie to the listeners. My, my honest opinion. And I don't want to get too crazy with the, our, our.
• 43:08
  genes tell us to do this type of thing, but I just believe that humans are, are, are meant to grow, are meant to progress, are meant to, that's what being alive is. That's how I feel. It's attached so much. And I, I don't want to go too far down this rabbit hole, but I think that way for when people die, I think it's, they have less of a reason to ultimately be here. And I don't want to sound too cold or too dark, but I think the people that are the healthiest and stay around the longest have a reason to be here. Hmm.
• 43:40
  I was going to ask you to define happiness, but you kind of just did it. So I'm going to flip and say, ask you, what's the last thing you do before bed? Hmm.
• 43:50
  The dog thing's throwing that off. I'm going to tell you that right now. I meant to tell you, do you cage train it? Because you said it was whining at night. Do you put it in a cage? Yeah. So we're experimenting with a number of different things, and I'm all ears. So if we don't want to waste time on this. No, no, no, no. People need to know that dog. I got a dog during the pandemic, and he's just a little guy like yours. Yeah.
• 44:14
  to this day, I cage train him and he runs into his cage whenever he, that's a spot. That's amazing. He doesn't whimper. And I, I kept him there and it's just, you got it. You got to stay with your same disciplines. Yeah. But it is nice that you guys are working on it together, but I'd put them in the cage, put them outside your bedroom and, and,
• 44:32
  Just let them cry it out. I mean, I'm not a freaking puppy whisperer. I'm a personal development businessman. At least that's what I masquerade as. I'm just an unhealed dude trying to get better every day. That's it. And loving my life. Let's get back. What was that question again? I want to make sure I don't skip your question. What's the last thing you do before bed? Because I'm a big, I like to share the habits. 100%. I think there's not enough of that. I think there's too much of...
• 44:59
  Oh, well, I just work really hard. Oh, take this magic pill. It's, you know, just, oh, if you take testosterone, you get big. I mean, you know, that's exactly what happens. You don't have to go to the gym and work out seven days a week. Yeah. So I'm just like yourself in the fact that I'm a tinker. I'm always changing it. Reading is my biggest one right now because I need...
• 45:20
  I need something to distract my brain from the craziness. I need to get into something that takes me out of the three businesses and the relationship with my wife. And there's so many things that are going on in my life, as you as you know, that if I don't distract myself some way to just kind of zone out.
• 45:38
  my mind goes nuts. And so that's been the biggest helpful tool for me for trying to get better sleep. Because as I just said, I've been reading a book that's really getting me into understanding the importance of sleep. And it's crazy. I mean, they're talking about they've done studies where sleep deprived people are just as hindered as those that are drunk.
• 46:00
  which is mind blowing to me, but it's very, very interesting. So I used to do some of my best work drunk and sleep deprived.
• 46:09
  That's adversity. That's your own created adversity. And that's literally what I'm trying to do with the heart and life here. It's a, you go out all night, you drink all night, you do drugs to so you can drink more. And then you just make your life miserable. And you wonder why it's miserable. So, you know, don't drink, don't do drugs, whatever. You know, it's, it's, but the sleep is the most important thing. Oddly enough, what really took me over the edge of the drinking was I was having trouble sleeping and,
• 46:33
  And someone told me worst advice ever was take a shot. And it didn't knock me out. It didn't make me go to sleep, but it wasn't restful sleep. And that's, that was happening more and more and more. And it coincided with my business blowing up, doing well. And I would wake up in the middle of the night and take a shot or two. And then it did that progressed into drinking until then. And then it just, my stepfather, the one thing he did instill in me was he used to say to me, did his best work hungover. Yeah.
• 47:02
  So no matter how banged up, how drunk he got, he got up and worked every single day. It's pride in the adversity. You have pride in the fact that, hey, I can still do it.
• 47:12
  Yeah, that's probably what still feels to me today. So again, sorry, you're going into sleep. It is very important. Yeah, so for me, so what I flip-flop on that I'm still trying to figure out like what's better for me is my, I'm crazy with my journal. I've created my own at this point. I've done a number of them that are set planned out for you through people, professional development people that I like. But I got to a point where,
• 47:37
  I think I can come up with my own good questions that maybe suit serve me better than what someone else has, has thought for me. Right. So I've created my own planner that I do either every night or every morning. I'm still trying to figure out, like I said, I kind of alternate, I go six months at a time where I do it the night before where I'm planning out my next day and going through what everything's going to look like. And then I,
• 47:59
  Other times I'll do it first thing in the morning. So that's kind of how I set my intention. So still haven't quite figured out what best suits me, but at some point I'm doing that first thing at night or in the morning. What are so many of the personal development people that you listen to or take in their content mostly? My favorite one's Brennan Burchard. He's my favorite one.
• 48:20
  Very nice. I'll have to get him on the podcast somehow. Some way I'll figure it out. That would be fantastic. Dude, you should see the people that I message. I am fearless. I message everybody. It's like knocking on the doors. It's fun to me. You want to know something funny on a couple of them that are exactly what you're saying? I've done the same thing. I wrote the last sentence in there.
• 48:40
  Maybe one day I'll be able to look at this. And I said I screenshotted this message, and I can't wait to save it for when we eventually get you on the podcast. I say that in my message. That's cute. Who else besides Brenda do you resonate with? Simon Sinek. Yeah. What was his book? Start With Your Why? That's his most popular one. My favorite one is Leaders Eat Last. Oh, yeah.
• 49:05
  I read a lot of his stuff. I'm an avid reader. So let's go there. What's your favorite? What book would you recommend to the listeners? The biggest one that had the most impact for me was High Performance Habits by Brian Burchard. And my favorite, the reason I love that one so much is he is so...
• 49:25
  wide in his span. It can be so applicable to anybody or any situation. It's not one dimensional for someone that's into business or someone that's all the habits and everything that he talks about. You could be a stay at home mom and it applies. I believe that for this is a weird thing. I believe that for all personal development. Yeah, I think that you could do and it goes for business and personal. I just met Steven Scoggins and he said, I never heard this before. I don't
• 49:54
  the best thing that you can do for business is personal development. Now I paraphrase that. He said, build your mind and your business will grow. Oh, I built a successful IT company drinking every day. And imagine what I could have done
• 50:10
  with half of less alcohol. You still got a lot of life left. Yeah, I know. Your life's not over. You got tons of do still. I'm going to live to 120. I'll put that out there. I'm going to come torment people when I'm 120. I'm not worried about it. That's one of my biggest goals, I tell Haley. I've told that since the day we met. I said, Haley, I want to live to 100. Yeah, 100's really what I want to do. And I mean a completely healthy 100, where I'm at the gym and, okay, I'm good now. But...
• 50:38
  You know, life is so good, I'll be even more vulnerable. The thought of death right now scares the shit out of me. Only because I have so much to live for. And there's so much that you talked about that gap between what you want to be and who you can be and what you want to be and who you are. Yeah.
• 50:56
  That gap for me right now is so wide. And that's just because I put huge expectations on myself. I want to help so many people. And I want to donate millions of dollars to charity. I want to make a dent. So I have got to close that gap. And it comes with me working hard on myself and the rest will come.
• 51:17
  And that's where I feel like that's what contributes to you. You asked me now, though things have changed from the material things that I want and proven it to everybody and all that. Now I think it's come down to the fact that I'm going to die at some point and that would suck and that will suck. But I also believe that,
• 51:39
  Although I do everything in my power to be healthy and take care of myself to live the longest I can, I don't think that grants me the right that I automatically get access to tomorrow. Because I know I could get hit by a bus. And I know that's morbid, but the truth is, is I don't think that...
• 51:57
  anybody has state claim to tomorrow. It's, you just got to take it one day at a time. I'm just in awe of you and the way you think, your mind. If you could meet one person who was alive or dead, who would it be and why? I think it would be, I think it would be, and I've met him though. It's more, I would love to do this with Christian, with Christian Guzman, because he's the one who started it for me.
• 52:27
  We got to do the six degrees of Kevin Bacon and figure out who the heck in my planet, in my orbit, knows him. Where does he live? Sugar Land, Texas. We got to figure this out.
• 52:38
  My person is, it's weird, Brene Brown. I just am infatuated with her. She's so brilliant. Yeah. And I would say that Brennan Burchard had the most impact in terms of me learning personal development and starting to implement a lot of this stuff. But I didn't find Brennan Burchard without being inspired by Christian first to show, oh, wow, like, what do I need to do to get to where he's at type of thing?
• 53:01
  I'll have to do a reel and we'll have to release it and see if we can get them. And I'll, I'll reach out to some of my people because as I'm doing this and being consistent, we're, we're moving up market. And, uh, you know, one day I'm going to have my foot up at my let's button, be on stage with Andy for selling, tell him who's tougher. And, um, how can I support you personally? Um,
• 53:23
  I need more friends like you. How about that? Because that's part of, I told you this too, about my podcast. And for selfish reasons, the reason, one of the reasons that I do it is because I want to be around more people that challenge me. It's literally that simple. And I was struggling to do that. And this is a great opportunity to be able to do that. So that's how you can support me. Be a friend to me and connect me with people that are more like you because I don't have enough.
• 53:51
  I say that to a lot of people that I meet. It's the same thing. It's, you know, transitioning from the party guy to the personal development guy has been hard. I still love all my friends. I still care about them, but I just am headed in different directions. And it's like last night, I was in bed by 8.35, out cold. And I woke up at 3.30. I just do things different. So I, too, struggle with the same thing. So that's why I'm glad the universe. And it was from a lunch with...
• 54:19
  people that are older and wiser and more successful than me that connected us, which was funny. The dichotomy of the people that were sitting at that table was a really young guy starting off in business, asked three different guys who he perceived to be successful in three different sales. And there was a billionaire, a millionaire, and then me. So we all gave him a bunch of advice and then somehow we,
• 54:44
  He asked me what he could do for me. And I said, I'm looking for people to be on the podcast and I'm looking for, you know, to get my name. And he introduced us. And now I got a new friend and a new, new baby brother. That's it. My brother, is there anything I should, that I didn't ask you that you feel compelled to share? I think it's just in line with, with a lot of things that we started talking about that
• 55:07
  Don't think that you're not worthy or able to have or be anything that you want in your life. You are enough. All of Ryan's Instagram and TikToks and YouTube all will be in the show notes. Head over to the Pursuit of Precision website.
• 55:23
  pursuit of precision.com and see what he's all about. And let me remind you each and every episode is sponsored by national technology management, the easiest and best it company to do business with delivering peace of mind with technology every day, visit trustntm.com for more info until next week, be harder than life. Thank you for listening. Please rate and subscribe to a harder than life. And let's take this to the next level. Get connected at the links below.