Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / The Reset You Actually Need - Day 5. Stop waiting to feel ready: Why action changes identity

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The Reset You Actually Need - Day 5. Stop waiting to feel ready: Why action changes identity · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:11
Speaker 1: Hello, my beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode
0:15
Speaker 1: of today. So this is day five of the Reset
0:19
Speaker 1: That You Need Miniseries. And if you are an avid
0:22
Speaker 1: watcher of this miniseriies on video, I apologize for today
0:27
Speaker 1: because I'm only doing audio for this one. My day
0:31
Speaker 1: kind of got a little bit out of hand, and
0:34
Speaker 1: normally when i'm not organized in a bit of a shambles,
0:36
Speaker 1: it's a lot easier for me to do audio than
0:38
Speaker 1: to do the full setup for it. And the reason being,
0:42
Speaker 1: I'm recording from home and one of my twins is
0:46
Speaker 1: a bit sick, so his sleep is very disjointed, so
0:49
Speaker 1: it's a lot easier to just pause and then start
0:51
Speaker 1: again and pause as many times as I need. When
0:53
Speaker 1: you're doing audio only versus stopping the video starting the video,
0:57
Speaker 1: the editing is a nightmare, and when I'm short for
1:00
Speaker 1: I need to cut my losses, and we need to
1:03
Speaker 1: think what is the most important thing. As long as
1:05
Speaker 1: I'm getting the content out to you, you don't need
1:07
Speaker 1: to see my face, although I'm sure you love every
1:10
Speaker 1: second of all my facial expressions and my arm waving.
1:13
Speaker 1: The content is actually the most important part. So I'm
1:15
Speaker 1: going to aim to do this all in twenty minutes
1:17
Speaker 1: if if the babies stay asleep, But we'll see how
1:21
Speaker 1: we go anyway. So we are at day five of
1:25
Speaker 1: our stunning miniseries, which I hope you guys are getting
1:28
Speaker 1: a lot out of. The feedback is already great, so
1:30
Speaker 1: thank you so much. And this episode is about how
1:33
Speaker 1: to stop waiting to feel ready and why action is
1:37
Speaker 1: going to be the thing that changes your identity because
1:39
Speaker 1: we're kind of in this constant battle of you know,
1:42
Speaker 1: I can't just start where I don't where I don't
1:44
Speaker 1: have complete clarity. I can't just kind of start where
1:47
Speaker 1: I don't really know what I want, or if there's
1:49
Speaker 1: too much confusion, you know how I spoke about, you
1:51
Speaker 1: know on Monday, where we need to change our states.
1:53
Speaker 1: Sometimes trying to find the solution isn't actually the solution,
1:57
Speaker 1: if that makes sense.
1:58
Speaker 2: So that also can be hindrance.
2:00
Speaker 1: If there's too much going on in your head, then
2:02
Speaker 1: it's also hard to start. So I'm going to be
2:04
Speaker 1: talking about when it is appropriate to start and when
2:07
Speaker 1: we need to stop kidding ourselves with all this planning,
2:10
Speaker 1: because planning is absolutely important, so is kind of risk assessment.
2:15
Speaker 1: So all these things when you're moving forward. I'm all
2:18
Speaker 1: about taking a leap of faith, but it has to
2:20
Speaker 1: be strategic and it has to be kind of, you know,
2:24
Speaker 1: calculated risks as well. Okay, so when do you know
2:28
Speaker 1: when to start taking action and when to stop sitting
2:30
Speaker 1: in that planning phase, because if you're anything like me,
2:33
Speaker 1: you can get really swept up and excited and stuck
2:36
Speaker 1: in the planning phase for a very long time. So
2:38
Speaker 1: I know it looks like I'm someone that's always been
2:41
Speaker 1: a person for action, and overall, if I look back
2:43
Speaker 1: at my past, yes, I'm pretty happy with the action
2:45
Speaker 1: that I've taken. But I am also someone that very
2:48
Speaker 1: easily can get stuck in this planning, brain storming, oh,
2:53
Speaker 1: you know, one day phase, because it feels safe, it's exciting.
2:56
Speaker 1: It's that soft action that I talk about, and it's
2:59
Speaker 1: not really the heart action. Soft action feels creative and safe,
3:02
Speaker 1: and while it's necessary, if you get stuck sitting in
3:05
Speaker 1: that soft action and never do any of the hard action,
3:08
Speaker 1: which is the actual doing. It's the being vulnerable, it's
3:11
Speaker 1: the putting yourself out there, it's being the novice, the cringe.
3:13
Speaker 2: All of that is the hard action.
3:15
Speaker 1: If you never do the hard action, you never actually
3:17
Speaker 1: get where you want. We need a nice balance of
3:20
Speaker 1: both soft the creative, fun, bold confident daydreaming, and hard
3:25
Speaker 1: the doing that like put it out there. It's the
3:28
Speaker 1: only way you're going to get better with hard action. Okay,
3:30
Speaker 1: So the first thing I want to remind you of,
3:33
Speaker 1: or to even tell you it's not even a reminder,
3:35
Speaker 1: is that your brain doesn't really reward you that much
3:39
Speaker 1: with planning. While planning is important, and while I don't
3:43
Speaker 1: recommend that you just throw yourself out there and all
3:45
Speaker 1: your money and all your time and all your investments
3:47
Speaker 1: with zero planning, because that's not good, you're not going
3:49
Speaker 1: to get that rewarded by planning. You don't grow and
3:52
Speaker 1: evolve if you just sit in planning. You are rewarded
3:57
Speaker 1: when you take action. And what do I mean by rewarded,
4:00
Speaker 1: I mean by feeling fulfilled, feeling good about yourself, feeling growth,
4:05
Speaker 1: feeling happiness, seeing yourself evolve.
4:08
Speaker 2: All these things are you being rewarded.
4:10
Speaker 1: Your brain is making you feel good about it because
4:13
Speaker 1: it's basically saying this is good for me, this is
4:16
Speaker 1: good for my.
4:16
Speaker 2: Evolution, Let's do more of it. It's that release of
4:19
Speaker 2: the feel good chemicals.
4:20
Speaker 1: It's just we know the difference between feeling like we're
4:23
Speaker 1: on track, feeling like we can put ourselves out there more,
4:26
Speaker 1: we feel more confident, our self esteem goes up. We
4:28
Speaker 1: know the difference between that and feeling stagnant self esteem,
4:33
Speaker 1: second guessing, perfectionism, all of that.
4:35
Speaker 2: So that's what I mean.
4:36
Speaker 1: When I talk about the brain rewarding action and movement,
4:39
Speaker 1: and you know, starting versus sitting in that planning phase
4:45
Speaker 1: for way too long. Now, Another thing that I want
4:47
Speaker 1: you to remember is that there comes a time after
4:51
Speaker 1: you've done your vision board, after you've done your brainstorm
4:55
Speaker 1: and you know your action plan and all of that,
4:57
Speaker 1: there comes a time where there's only so much low
5:00
Speaker 1: that can occur through just sitting there and doing your
5:04
Speaker 1: research and planning. Most of the learning that you need
5:07
Speaker 1: to do on your journey to whatever it is in
5:10
Speaker 1: order to get good is through doing. Unfortunately for us,
5:14
Speaker 1: we need to make mistakes in order to learn.
5:17
Speaker 2: That is the best way to learn. For me. A
5:19
Speaker 2: really good example.
5:20
Speaker 1: Of that is when I'm learning a language, if I
5:24
Speaker 1: sit in this safe space where I'm not interacting with anyone,
5:26
Speaker 1: and I'm on the apps and I'm listening, and it's
5:28
Speaker 1: very passive. I think my French, for example, is very good,
5:32
Speaker 1: but it's not until and then, mind you, when I
5:34
Speaker 1: make mistakes through the on the learning apps and things
5:37
Speaker 1: like that, Yep, I learn the mistake.
5:39
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, cool, I'll correct the mistake. Whatever.
5:41
Speaker 1: Then when I have a conversation with someone in French
5:44
Speaker 1: and they correct me to my face, because the French
5:47
Speaker 1: love you so much for it, I used to hate it,
5:49
Speaker 1: but genuinely I love it. The French have no qualms
5:53
Speaker 1: like stopping you a thousand times to correct you. I
5:56
Speaker 1: personally do love that genuinely though. But when someone corrects
5:59
Speaker 1: me to my face, I learn so much faster, so
6:03
Speaker 1: much faster. It's almost like it's more important. It weighs more.
6:06
Speaker 1: I'm more likely to remember that correction. Not with everything,
6:10
Speaker 1: but in general, I am more likely to remember it.
6:12
Speaker 1: So it required me putting myself out there talking to
6:16
Speaker 1: someone in French, making the mistake, them correcting me to
6:19
Speaker 1: my face, having that moment, fixing it in front of them,
6:23
Speaker 1: trying again, and then proceeding with the conversation.
6:26
Speaker 2: So that's what I mean about.
6:28
Speaker 1: How ready can you be if I waited till I
6:30
Speaker 1: thought I was ready to have a perfect conversation because
6:33
Speaker 1: I can't father making a mistake and someone correcting me.
6:35
Speaker 1: Then I would never be ready to speak French to anyone.
6:38
Speaker 1: And then what is the point? Look at driving. You
6:41
Speaker 1: could be sitting there and doing all the theory in
6:44
Speaker 1: the world for driving, all the theory in the world,
6:47
Speaker 1: and then you get in a car and you have
6:48
Speaker 1: no fucking idea what you're doing because you have to
6:50
Speaker 1: physically do it. You have to be a novice in
6:54
Speaker 1: order to learn properly. So that's what I mean when
6:58
Speaker 1: I'm talking about you know, soft is hard. There comes
7:01
Speaker 1: a time where you have to rip the band aid
7:03
Speaker 1: off and be the novice, have that cringe moment. The
7:06
Speaker 1: beauty of it is that that intense novice cringe, Oh
7:09
Speaker 1: my god, I'm a disaster doesn't really last that long because,
7:12
Speaker 1: especially in the early stages of whatever it is that
7:15
Speaker 1: you're trying to do, it's that's where you're taking the
7:18
Speaker 1: biggest leaps. Then you become kind of okay at it,
7:22
Speaker 1: pretty good, mediocre, and then no one really cares you
7:24
Speaker 1: get by it's fine, and that's when you start to
7:26
Speaker 1: fine tune and become better and better and better and
7:28
Speaker 1: better and better. You're less harsh on yourself. You're less
7:31
Speaker 1: worried about making mistakes for many reasons. Number one, because
7:35
Speaker 1: you realize that your mistakes don't mean that it's all over.
7:38
Speaker 1: That it doesn't mean that you know you've committed social suicide.
7:42
Speaker 1: It doesn't these mistakes mean that you know. Okay, they
7:45
Speaker 1: might have set me back a little bit, but overall,
7:48
Speaker 1: I'm still on my path and I'm still able.
7:49
Speaker 2: To move forward. Okay.
7:51
Speaker 1: So readiness you want to look at feeling ready as
7:56
Speaker 1: a byproduct of action, of starting off doing that thing
8:00
Speaker 1: of momentum you ultimately, this is the way I look
8:04
Speaker 1: at it. Readiness is something that happens when you start
8:09
Speaker 1: doing things before you are ready. Ironically, because I genuinely
8:13
Speaker 1: don't think you can be ready. You can be ready
8:15
Speaker 1: for change, you can be ready to begin, but you
8:18
Speaker 1: can't say I'm you know, I know exactly what I'm doing,
8:22
Speaker 1: I'm a pro at this, I'm absolutely ready, because I
8:24
Speaker 1: think if you felt that way, you would partially be delusional.
8:27
Speaker 1: Same with when I was pregnant, people say, oh, are
8:30
Speaker 1: you ready?
8:31
Speaker 2: Are you ready? And I would be honest, And so
8:33
Speaker 2: I'm not fucking ready. How the fuck can I.
8:36
Speaker 1: Be ready for something I've never experienced. And not only
8:40
Speaker 1: have I never experienced motherhood, but I wasn't even maternal.
8:43
Speaker 1: I wasn't even you know, motherly with other people's children.
8:46
Speaker 1: It just didn't come to me naturally. Now, yeah, okay,
8:48
Speaker 1: I've learned so much and it's coming to me naturally,
8:50
Speaker 1: and I'm learning every single day and it's awesome. But
8:52
Speaker 1: I would say to people, no, I'm not ready, but
8:54
Speaker 1: I am ready for a change. I am ready for
8:57
Speaker 1: that next step in my life. But I'm not ready necessarily.
9:01
Speaker 1: I don't think you can really be prepared like people are.
9:03
Speaker 1: And you know, have you mentally prepared? Have you? And
9:05
Speaker 1: I said nah, because I've just got to ride this wave.
9:08
Speaker 1: I think if I was in the headspace of I
9:10
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm prepared yet, I don't know if
9:12
Speaker 1: I'm ready yet, I think I would psych myself out.
9:15
Speaker 1: More people say to me, I'm very chilled when it
9:18
Speaker 1: comes to parenting. When it comes to the twins, I
9:20
Speaker 1: seem to be quite relaxed, And I think it's because
9:23
Speaker 1: I don't put the pressure on myself of everything has
9:25
Speaker 1: to be everything has to be a certain way, I
9:28
Speaker 1: look at it as every day is a learning curve,
9:30
Speaker 1: and I'm able to be a lot more present. I'm
9:33
Speaker 1: able to be a lot more like really enjoying that
9:35
Speaker 1: journey as I go through it.
9:37
Speaker 2: Okay, so.
9:39
Speaker 1: You can apply that to pretty much anything. Say you
9:42
Speaker 1: decide you want to be a writer. You've never done
9:44
Speaker 1: writing before, so you think, oh, maybe I should do
9:46
Speaker 1: a course. You might do a degree, you might do
9:48
Speaker 1: a short course, you might do something random online. Whatever
9:51
Speaker 1: it is, however long the course. So then you think, okay,
9:53
Speaker 1: maybe that's a good step. I'll embark on that course
9:58
Speaker 1: since but while you're studying, don't kid yourself and think
10:02
Speaker 1: oh later, later, later, This is the time to start
10:05
Speaker 1: putting the fillers out, start writing things, and then the
10:08
Speaker 1: next step is start writing things that people will read.
10:12
Speaker 1: A good one is you could start like something anonymous
10:16
Speaker 1: at the start, whether it be a blog or a
10:17
Speaker 1: sub steck or whatever. Or you could join a group
10:22
Speaker 1: where people get together to practice they're writing and submit
10:24
Speaker 1: it there because you know everyone's kind of in the
10:26
Speaker 1: same boat. It's not like you approaching someone who never
10:28
Speaker 1: puts themselves out there and you're like, oh, they always
10:30
Speaker 1: judge me. They're so you know critical, and I don't
10:32
Speaker 1: even think their judgment's fair. They're just trying to shut
10:35
Speaker 1: me down. Okay, well, then share your work with people
10:37
Speaker 1: that are in the same position as you, where they're
10:39
Speaker 1: being vulnerable, where they're whatever and amusing. Writing is just
10:42
Speaker 1: an example, But what are other things that you could do.
10:44
Speaker 1: Let's say you want to become really strong and fit,
10:48
Speaker 1: so you start doing all the plans. You start thinking, Okay,
10:50
Speaker 1: maybe this is the workout plan I'm going to do.
10:52
Speaker 1: These are all the people that inspire me. This is
10:54
Speaker 1: But then when it comes to going to a class,
10:56
Speaker 1: you're mortified because you think that you're extremely uncoordinated. Everyone's
11:00
Speaker 1: told you, oh my god, don't ever be a dancer.
11:02
Speaker 1: Oh you got too left fan. Oh you can't do this.
11:04
Speaker 1: You're so uncoordinated.
11:05
Speaker 2: Your posture is terrible.
11:06
Speaker 1: So you think, oh, god, like, how would I actually
11:09
Speaker 1: embark on this thing?
11:10
Speaker 2: How would I start? Mind you?
11:12
Speaker 1: This also ties into what we were talking about yesterday.
11:15
Speaker 1: Oh no, not yesterday, it was wednesday when we were
11:18
Speaker 1: talking about, you know, the personality traits that you romanticize
11:21
Speaker 1: that are ruining your you know, progress or whatever that
11:25
Speaker 1: this idea of Oh I'm so uncoordinated.
11:27
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I could never do that. I could never.
11:29
Speaker 2: I'm just not I.
11:30
Speaker 1: Could never that along with I wish I could do that.
11:35
Speaker 1: Plus all the planning but never taking action, nothing's ever
11:38
Speaker 1: going to happen. So you've got to ask yourself. This
11:40
Speaker 1: is the homework for today. I want you to identify
11:43
Speaker 1: what it is that you have in you know, in
11:48
Speaker 1: your mind for what you want for your future. Now,
11:50
Speaker 1: half of these things, I would imagine are things that
11:53
Speaker 1: you are already working on or already brainstorming and planning.
11:58
Speaker 1: And then some of those things are going to be
11:59
Speaker 1: things that are in your mind for the future, things
12:02
Speaker 1: that you haven't even begun, haven't even started. Okay, so
12:05
Speaker 1: you can apply this to both things. I want you
12:09
Speaker 1: to write the list down if the things that you
12:11
Speaker 1: are working on the things that you would like to
12:13
Speaker 1: take more action in, and ask yourself, am I kidding
12:17
Speaker 1: myself saying that I need more planning or not? Because
12:20
Speaker 1: there are certain things that yeah, you're going to need
12:22
Speaker 1: more planning and that's fine, but then there are other
12:24
Speaker 1: things that we sit in the planning phase for way
12:26
Speaker 1: too long. And definitely go check out my episode soft
12:29
Speaker 1: Action Versus Hard action or bold action. I think I
12:32
Speaker 1: called it because that really helps you differentiate the two
12:36
Speaker 1: different things and when it's time to take that hard
12:38
Speaker 1: or bold action. The other thing that you want to
12:41
Speaker 1: think about is ask yourself when you write these things,
12:45
Speaker 1: is why am I hesitating? Because the more you hesitate,
12:48
Speaker 1: the more you hesitate like tracks like, and when we hesitate,
12:52
Speaker 1: it's kind of a reaction that occurs in our brain
12:54
Speaker 1: that's fear based.
12:55
Speaker 2: It's like, this represents change, this represents.
12:58
Speaker 1: Discomfort, it represents uncertainty, so it thinks I'm just going
13:02
Speaker 1: to pull the brakes, okay. And when you look at
13:04
Speaker 1: it from like a brain, you know the makeup of
13:08
Speaker 1: the brain and what's happening on a physical level in
13:11
Speaker 1: the brain. It's different brain regions that are involved. Hesitation
13:14
Speaker 1: comes from fear. It comes from fear based thoughts and
13:18
Speaker 1: needing to protect. So that's the amygdala, the limbic system.
13:21
Speaker 1: It's more kind of the mid brain areas. When that
13:25
Speaker 1: goes unchecked, like attracts like like I talk about all
13:29
Speaker 1: the time. So these pathways get stronger and stronger and stronger.
13:33
Speaker 1: And if you keep hesitating or pulling the brakes on
13:35
Speaker 1: everything or in that one thing that you're overthinking for
13:38
Speaker 1: longer and longer and longer. To snap out of it
13:41
Speaker 1: and to then take action is harder. Whereas if you
13:45
Speaker 1: notice yourself hesitate on something and become aware of it
13:48
Speaker 1: in the moment, just becoming aware of it is already
13:52
Speaker 1: doing something, because what's occurring is that you're already activating
13:55
Speaker 1: the prefrontal cortex, and that's more forward planning executive function.
14:00
Speaker 1: It's where you kind of can think ahead, you think
14:03
Speaker 1: about the consequences of your actions, you can reason, it's
14:06
Speaker 1: how you can you plan for your future, and it's
14:10
Speaker 1: one of the best ways to increase connectivity between the
14:13
Speaker 1: two brain regions, between your prefrontal cortex and the limbic
14:17
Speaker 1: system where the amigdala is. All these fear based processes.
14:20
Speaker 1: So when we hesitate, if it goes unchecked, that's all
14:23
Speaker 1: fear f fef fee, and it kind of bruise and
14:25
Speaker 1: bruise and bruise, and we become one of those people
14:27
Speaker 1: that gets you know, we're just not a person of action,
14:31
Speaker 1: anxious with everything, or overthinker.
14:33
Speaker 2: You just become an overthinker basically.
14:35
Speaker 1: But if you can then become aware, you activate the
14:39
Speaker 1: prefrontal cortex, and you're using both.
14:41
Speaker 2: Parts of the brain.
14:42
Speaker 1: So it's not saying I want to shut down all fear,
14:44
Speaker 1: because some fear is good, some hesitation is important. We
14:47
Speaker 1: do need that, We do need our instincts to kind
14:50
Speaker 1: of and our brain based on our past experiences and
14:53
Speaker 1: our knowledge to say this could be a red flag.
14:56
Speaker 2: But then you use your.
14:57
Speaker 1: Reasoning to say, no, I understand that I'm and it's
15:00
Speaker 1: because I'm being vulnerable, but I'm not going to, you know,
15:03
Speaker 1: really put myself in a dangerous position. I'm not really
15:06
Speaker 1: under a lot of threat. It's just the unknown. But
15:09
Speaker 1: I will be okay. And in order to grow, I
15:11
Speaker 1: need to press forward. So every time you do that,
15:14
Speaker 1: you start finding it easier and easier to take action,
15:17
Speaker 1: and you hesitate less and less. So my advice to
15:20
Speaker 1: you would be to pick things that aren't so big.
15:24
Speaker 1: It's not such a mountain that you have to climate,
15:25
Speaker 1: it's not so insurmountable, and you're going to train those
15:29
Speaker 1: parts of the brain. You're going to train your prefrontal
15:31
Speaker 1: cortex to talk to your amigdalt to talk to your
15:36
Speaker 1: limbic system. The more connectivity you have between those brain regions,
15:40
Speaker 1: the easier it is to stay calm, to talk yourself down.
15:44
Speaker 2: Off that ledge.
15:45
Speaker 1: You can literally talk yourself out of anxious thoughts to
15:47
Speaker 1: an extent. We're talking about it. You know, it's on
15:49
Speaker 1: a scale. If you've got crazy anxiety, you might need
15:53
Speaker 1: more interventions to kind of reduce that anxiety. Everyone's going
15:57
Speaker 1: to be different, but in general, if they're just you know,
16:01
Speaker 1: mild anxious thoughts, activating that prefrontal cortex, becoming aware of it,
16:06
Speaker 1: name entertainment, you say what it is?
16:08
Speaker 2: You know, you go through what it is that you've learned.
16:10
Speaker 1: So you say, I understand that I'm hesitating, So what
16:13
Speaker 1: I need to do right now in order to not
16:15
Speaker 1: exacerbate this is too XYZN And you choose a level
16:19
Speaker 1: of action that might be uncomfortable, but you're still willing
16:22
Speaker 1: to take. So think of small things that you would
16:26
Speaker 1: normally hesitate on. Whether it be I'm hesitating to actually
16:30
Speaker 1: get up right now and do that task procrastination, or
16:32
Speaker 1: whether it be I'm hesitating to go and introduce myself
16:35
Speaker 1: to that person because I don't want to be shut down.
16:37
Speaker 1: So a great way to learn how to introduce yourself
16:41
Speaker 1: to people. So you're not so scared of rejection. Is
16:43
Speaker 1: to start a conversation with someone that pretty much has
16:47
Speaker 1: to talk to you. The uber driver, the you know,
16:50
Speaker 1: the person at the counter, the barista. These are really
16:53
Speaker 1: really good ways to get comfortable starting a conversation with
16:56
Speaker 1: a stranger. You know, so other than you know the
16:59
Speaker 1: interaction and you say, so, how was your day? Or
17:02
Speaker 1: this is a really nice car. How long have you
17:03
Speaker 1: had this car for or whatever it is. It's just
17:07
Speaker 1: I'm going to, you know, break the ice and start
17:10
Speaker 1: a conversation. Then you're going to realize, oh, I didn't die,
17:12
Speaker 1: that wasn't the end.
17:13
Speaker 2: Of the world.
17:13
Speaker 1: So then you start noticing that it's easier and easier
17:16
Speaker 1: and easier to talk to other people. Another great one
17:18
Speaker 1: is you approach a complete stranger and you can just
17:20
Speaker 1: compliment them on their shoes, their perfume, how they've done
17:24
Speaker 1: their hair, their style in general, whatever their dog, whatever
17:28
Speaker 1: it is. You start realizing, I've been able to now
17:31
Speaker 1: initiate a conversation out of thin air.
17:33
Speaker 2: So this I'm using this example.
17:35
Speaker 1: Like socially, but you can apply that to almost anything.
17:38
Speaker 1: But I do recommend that you start small, so then
17:40
Speaker 1: you start to train your brain that these things are doable,
17:44
Speaker 1: and I can talk myself out of hesitation.
17:47
Speaker 2: Okay.
17:47
Speaker 1: The more you talk yourself out of hesitation, the easier
17:50
Speaker 1: it becomes for you to take action. The less you
17:53
Speaker 1: hesitate as your default option and you think, oh, no,
17:55
Speaker 1: it's easy, I'll just take action. Because there are people
17:57
Speaker 1: out there that you know that never procrastinate on anything.
18:00
Speaker 1: They think, now, I'd rather do it now than later.
18:02
Speaker 1: I'd rather do it like, why I do it later
18:04
Speaker 1: when you can do it now. That's something my mum
18:06
Speaker 1: says to me all the time. So those people, at
18:09
Speaker 1: least with certain tasks in their life, have trained the
18:13
Speaker 1: hesitation out of themselves for uncomfortable and annoying or boring tasks. Okay,
18:19
Speaker 1: So you could do it with that, You could do
18:21
Speaker 1: it with bigger things.
18:21
Speaker 2: You could do it with things.
18:22
Speaker 1: Around social anxiety, around you know, having momentum to do
18:26
Speaker 1: work for something that matters to you, but it doesn't.
18:29
Speaker 1: What I'm trying to say is you will train your
18:32
Speaker 1: brain out of that hesitation, and you might not completely
18:36
Speaker 1: eliminate hesitation, but you're going to notice that the more
18:39
Speaker 1: you do it, the easier it is to snap out
18:42
Speaker 1: of it and take action. And the real trick is
18:45
Speaker 1: to intervene as quickly as possible. Okay, so that's something
18:49
Speaker 1: that I want you to do today. The kind of
18:52
Speaker 1: homework that I have for you today is we're going
18:55
Speaker 1: to have a list of the things that we spend
18:59
Speaker 1: too much time planning and not really taking action on.
19:02
Speaker 1: Whether it's something we've never started, or whether it's something
19:05
Speaker 1: that we've started but we're not saying momentum because we're
19:07
Speaker 1: kind of lagging behind and we're sitting in this planning phase.
19:10
Speaker 2: That's step one. Step two.
19:12
Speaker 1: You're going to come up with something that you can
19:14
Speaker 1: start doing to train yourself out of hesitation, whether it
19:17
Speaker 1: be something you procrastinate on, or whether it be like
19:20
Speaker 1: I gave the example of you know, social anxiety, where
19:23
Speaker 1: you can start talking to certain people and you know,
19:26
Speaker 1: approaching strangers and things like that. So you and these
19:29
Speaker 1: are just examples, obviously, get creative and see how it
19:32
Speaker 1: applies to you. For example, whether it let's say you're
19:35
Speaker 1: people pleaser and you really struggle to stand up for yourself.
19:39
Speaker 1: The first thing before you say oh yeah, true, I agree,
19:42
Speaker 1: Before you know, before you go ahead and do that,
19:45
Speaker 1: you can put the brakes on and think. You don't
19:47
Speaker 1: even have to not agree. You don't have to say
19:49
Speaker 1: I disagree with you. If you don't feel comfortable doing that,
19:52
Speaker 1: you could just sit in silence and say, I'm glad
19:55
Speaker 1: you're telling me your point of view. That's interesting, Okay,
19:58
Speaker 1: good to know you know so many things you can say.
20:01
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean you've agreed with someone, and already you
20:03
Speaker 1: start to feel better. You start to feel Oh, I
20:06
Speaker 1: do feel like I backed myself because I didn't have
20:08
Speaker 1: to lie to get that person's approval or to get
20:10
Speaker 1: that person to like me or whatever.
20:12
Speaker 2: Okay.
20:13
Speaker 1: So there's just a huge bunch of examples, and like
20:16
Speaker 1: I said, get creative. If you have an example that
20:20
Speaker 1: I haven't mentioned that you think is worth sharing, please
20:22
Speaker 1: comment on these episodes. If you're listening on Spotify, comment
20:25
Speaker 1: below because I would love for other people to read
20:27
Speaker 1: those examples. I would personally love to read your examples,
20:31
Speaker 1: and yeah, it would give me insight into how this
20:35
Speaker 1: is working for you guys. So that is all for
20:37
Speaker 1: today's episode. Thank you so much for listening, and I
20:41
Speaker 1: managed to get through it all. But I recorded the
20:43
Speaker 1: second half of this episode like way later in the day.
20:46
Speaker 1: There were hours, hours in between, so good times. Very
20:50
Speaker 1: glad I didn't film it because that would have been
20:52
Speaker 1: a shit show, and also it probably would have caused
20:55
Speaker 1: me to be a day late on this whole thing.
20:57
Speaker 1: So very thrilled that I took the executive to decision
21:00
Speaker 1: to just do an audio recording anyway, Love you guys
21:02
Speaker 1: so much. As always, remember, be kind to yourself, be
21:05
Speaker 1: kind to your brain, don't take shit from anyone, and
21:07
Speaker 1: especially don't take shit from yourself.
21:09
Speaker 2: Dun't he