Latest / I Hate Soccer with Jason Collinsworth / I Hate Soccer #92 - Laine Nakfoor, Novi Lightning Soccer Coach & Sports Mom!

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I Hate Soccer #92 - Laine Nakfoor, Novi Lightning Soccer Coach & Sports Mom! · I Hate Soccer with Jason Collinsworth

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is with Lane Nakfour, who is a soccer coach at the Novi Lightning.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Novi Lightning is a community club.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually part of the Parks program in Novi, Michigan, and it has 38 teams.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's insane.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: She's also a mother of four, including a triple-A hockey player, a double-A hockey player, a three-sport athlete son, and also a daughter who plays soccer and basketball.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: They're all multi-sport athletes, and it's great to see the perspective of a coach and a parent.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And also she coaches boys.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting to get the perspective of a female that coaches boys and what that's like.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's very interesting what she had to say about do boys respect her?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do the boy like the teenage boys that she coaches do they respect her as a coach?
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it's very interesting what she had to say about that because it's interesting and it's kind of upsetting.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: She also from New Jersey originally and she played at Syracuse University, so very high, high level uh ACC whatnot.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, if you're listening in Buffalo, you know the Syracuse uh program very well.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: So enjoy this episode.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh please, as always, like, subscribe, follow if you're listening on Apple or Spotify.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Also, the most important piece is probably sharing.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh get this out in front of as many people as possible.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it really helps the show.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Always, I'm trying to do this absolutely full time, and I'm trying to get all over the country, to be honest with you.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and one of the the faster that I grow, the more opportunities and the more people that I can talk to.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Enjoy.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I hate soccer.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I started this to find out or talk to my college soccer players about their recruiting process because I didn't even know how it was so it's so different than like when I was growing up.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's wild.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just had one of my girls that uh is at Nebraska come in, talk about her experience, and the feedback I got from it from younger players.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and their parents are like, we learn more from that 45-minute talk with Ella than we did from what our club.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like put material out to help people.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: So then I talked to one of my girls that plays D1 that was at a was on RL at Flash, and then that one really exploded.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, nice.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, hmm.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, I was in the last year of my lease of the facility that I had, and I'm like, you know what?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna go all in on the podcast, start talking to coaches and stuff like that.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then here I am in Michigan.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: I love it, and you know, being able to talk to so many people.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: But what's funny is that I'm in Oxford right now and I want to move down here because all closer to it all.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because Nova, all of my episodes have been Madonna, uh Primal Recovery, Jags.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: I have a partnership, and then you, and it's like everything is down here.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's like in what's about an hour for you with traffic and all that?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 45 minutes.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like Trosper, uh Dan Trosper, he is like it's Mecca.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it really is because you get the hawks, you have Jags, you have you guys, you have just everything in this wild.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: So but okay, so what okay, let's start there with your recruit what your recruiting process was like back in the day.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: So, my experience, you know, back in the day, and again, I'm almost 43 years old, so we're going way back, but I mean, we would get letters in the mail.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's how it started.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, like physical letters.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, you're right.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it would be sent to the school.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then they would get it to your family and you'd read the letter, and then yeah, I mean, it it was way different than it is now.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we didn't have they had to watch us in person.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_03: That was the other thing.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: There was no Instagram reels, there was no if I wanted to send video to a coach, it was on a VHS tape.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I mean, kids these days don't know what a VHS tape is, so that's what's kind of funny.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I mean they would talk to us at tournaments and stuff, but a lot was through letter.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_03: When they could talk to you, which was June 1st of your junior year, you know, they could call you.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so a lot was done over the phone at that point.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so that was that was, you know, for me, it was a lot of letters, it was a lot of phone calls.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um, they would come to see me play once or twice, and that was it.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: They decide they like you, and you know, they make you an offer.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: So I was actually a multi-sport athlete.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: So I um in New Jersey, I was a hundred goal scorer in soccer in high school, you know, because you could play both back then.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I was a thousand point scorer in basketball.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: So I had actually D1 offers for basketball and soccer.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_03: So I had to make a decision.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: I played AAU basketball, I played travel soccer.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: I did it all growing up when you could do multi-sport.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's gotten a lot harder now.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but yeah, I had to make a decision.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: I ended up going with soccer, you know, went to Syracuse, played there.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and you know, I don't regret my decision.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: No, no.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: I loved it.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: But it's the youth soccer, the whole process now, it's completely different.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think I would want to be a youth soccer player nowadays because I don't think it's that fun anymore.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't either.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's you know, it's become a business, it's become so strict, it's become so serious.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: I think kids aren't having fun anymore, and I think that's a big problem.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I'm all about development, but if you're not having fun with it, then they're gonna quit by 11, 12, 13.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I think we're seeing a lot of that.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, the average age kids used to quit sports was 13, now we're down to 11.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_03: Because we are treating youth sports like adult sports.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think do you think it all changed when we uh started getting full-time coaches?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because think about when we were growing up, yeah, there were we didn't have full-time coaches.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: They were they worked from GM and then they coached in the evening.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_03: No, I do.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's part of it.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um, when we got full-time coaches, I also think that like social media is a big problem too.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: I think I think we're constantly putting out there your kid has to do this by age seven, and your kid has to do this by age 10, and this by age 12.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I think people are taking it so serious and panicking if their kid is not on a pre-GA1 team by the time they're eight years, nine years old.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, so I think it's just a lot of misinformation out there.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: I think people are not focusing on development, letting your kid love the game, um, develop technically and properly.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, it's just become about more about chasing logos right now.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I think people think that a logo is what's gonna equal exposure, that's gonna equal you playing D1 soccer.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: And it it's there's such it's such a long process, right?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_03: We have to develop players in the right way.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm huge into technical.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a technical person, right?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of the kids at, you know, the top outside clubs come to me for technical.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but we're we're not doing it with the younger kids anymore.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we're we're so focused on winning and creating winning teams that we're not developing the best players anymore.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And and everything is team tactics and team tactics and build out of the back and pattern play.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, pattern play, yeah.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was actually on another podcast last week, and he was at Generation Adidas where like Barcelona comes, and he was talking about the difference of the clubs in Europe versus here is that they're still trying to develop killers so that they can sell them.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: So they're really focused on the individual.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody thinks that it's all about pattern play at 16 and 15 years old.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's not.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Over there, they allow kids with like to basically just take chances.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, make mistakes.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Develop soccer IQ.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: And learn from your mistakes.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas our kids, it seems like they're not even allowed to make mistakes.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's becoming really robotic, and it's interesting what you said about the pattern play and stuff, because you know, I'll have kids come out to train with us from different clubs kind of around tryout time that are looking to make a move or whatnot.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: And these kids, their possession is stunning.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_03: They can't do a pullback, they can't do a step over.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: Their first touch is four feet away from them.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_03: So again, we're we're missing this technical piece where we're trying so hard to develop winning teams that we're not developing players to be the best players possible.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, all the kids are gonna catch up in possession, all the kids are gonna learn the patterns, all the things, but like you've got to be technically sound.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, and that's what I tell my parents all the time.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not trying to develop the best 11-year-old soccer team in the country.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm trying to develop the best players at 16, 17, 18.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so that they can go on, the ones that are that good, go on to play at a higher level.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the hardest things to teach is movement off the ball, right?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: 100%.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so we try to script the entire game.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: What happens when that option is not there?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know what to do.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know what to do.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So they just like kick it at or they panic.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that is that is a huge piece that is just gone.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_03: I think we we over coach, especially with the younger ages.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there are times I'll kind of look over, you know, I'll be coaching to get someone that has the whole game is just talking, and I'm like, you've gotta let them play.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: They learn by making mistakes, they're all gonna make mistakes.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: It helps build their soccer IQ.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: I never pull a kid because of a mistake, whether it's on my 10-year-old girls' team or my 15-year-old boys' team.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: You know, the only thing I pull kids for and sit them for if they're being a bad teammate.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: If they're not treating their teammates properly, you're coming right next to me.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and that's like the same with like refs and stuff like that, too.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because we saw that.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Did you see that video?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's awful.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's awful.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: I saw it.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_03: And isn't that like a U8 game?
• 9:57
  unknown: Yeah.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: It was U9.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And and the little boy that was like holding him back.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: That was his little brother.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, was it?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't realize that.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then the ref DM'd me, and he was like, Oh, yeah, that's it.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, that's me.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Oh my god, thank God you're fast.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's crazy.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: But but what has happened to the culture of youth sports that that's going on?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Is it like that in other sports?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think we're so entrenched in soccer that we think that it's a soccer problem.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_03: I think it is.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_03: So um two of my boys play triple A hockey, and you use you see it in the hockey world.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, hockey in Michigan is huge, um, but you see a lot of the same things in soccer that you see in hockey.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_03: And um, my two boys that play, one is 16, one just turned 13.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I actually took two very different paths and approaches for them.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_03: My 16-year-old, um, when he was little, he was really, really good from day one, had him on a top team.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_03: He has played triple A hockey all the way till now.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um, he's still playing.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_03: His team just won the state championship.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: They went to nationals.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: You know, he's gonna play junior hockey, probably play in college one day.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_03: My little guy, I actually kept him on a double A team for seven years.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: He played the most, he got the most puck touches, power play, good coaches, environment where he could make mistakes, learn from it.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_03: Moved him to AAA this year for the first time at 13 years old, and he's he's doing awesome.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: So, again, two very different approaches to development.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_03: They both got to where they want to be.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_03: So that's kind of my whole thing with soccer, too.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like, there is not one path.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_03: There, there's not, you don't need to chase a logo at 10 and think that that means your kid's gonna go play Division I soccer.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: When when I started out coaching, I got to be around a lot of high-level hockey uh people.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: And they said that uh when you're trying to make it in hockey, the number one fundamental is being able to skate.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, skating's huge.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: And skating is always worked on and it's always improved.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas I think in soccer, we lose the fundamentals.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: We do, we we abandon it like you said earlier.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and it's uh it's so upsetting when the game, and I'm a technical person as well, and it's gone.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: It is and it's forgotten about, you know, and even at the uh at the high school level and the college level, it's forgotten.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then how are we individually?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: There is no individual anymore.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: But okay, who's crazier?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Soccer parents or no, you're putting me on the spot.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_03: This is a tough one.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is brought to you by the North American Soccer Expo.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you remember last year when I had Alexi Lawless on, so many of you were blown away and kept on messaging me, how did you get Alexi Lawless to talk to you?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: And to be honest with you, it was the North American Soccer Expo.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: The expo has workshops and seminars and field presentations from top coaches and industry experts.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I will be there this year.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be set up on podcast row.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: In addition to the podcasts that I'm going to be filming there, I'm also going to have an open hour where any coach at the expo or anybody at the expo can come sit down at the chair and have a one-on-one 15-minute chat with me, and you guys can just come and chat and talk about whatever you want.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: North American Soccer Expo, July 30th to August 1st, Nova, Michigan.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you there.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I I've seen it in both, honestly.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's a good idea.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_03: So my boys, yeah.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_03: Uh so my oldest one just finished his season um at Honeybakes, Triple A, and then my younger guy is at CompuWare, um, Triple A.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_03: So again, two great programs.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_03: And again, we've had some great experiences and met some great people, but there's also a ton of crazy.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_03: But that's in every sport now.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think it's just hockey, I don't think it's just soccer.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: I hear stories about baseball, I hear stories about lacrosse.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: I think it is this generation.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: I think parents think that if you play a sport, it means you have to go division one.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody's just playing for fun anymore.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: And they think if you are having fun, then you're not taking it serious enough.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: You're not focused enough.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I think kids are starting to hate it because of that.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I I just think we've lost sight of what youth sports is.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_03: And again, there's some kids that are gonna make it, and if they're good enough to make it, they're gonna make it from anywhere.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Is it FOMO?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: I think it is, but I also think coming back to social media, I think for parents it's a lot of seeing people's posts, you know, wanting to put up that Instagram post, wanting to put up that Facebook post.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I think a lot of it is that, and I think people do FOMO.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: They think if I'm not, you know, putting them on a top team when they're 10, they they're gonna miss out.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_03: They're not gonna win a state title and a national title and go play division one.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, your chances of playing division one soccer, I think on the boys' side is one percent, on the girls' side is two percent.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and to play any type of college soccer, it's around like six and seven percent.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_03: So, like the amount of kids that go on to play is small.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I think it's gonna get even smaller.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: They're talking about roster limitations with colleges now.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's gonna be less and less kids getting recruited and going on to play.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I almost think we're in this mindset now that if, well, if my kid's not gonna go on to play division one, why are we playing at all?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think that's what is happening, and that's why our dropout rate's crazy.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's like if it's the D1 bust mentality, but it's also becoming the ECNL or bust or the MLS Next R bust.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like why are we doing this?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why a lot of kids quit.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of and the thing is, I think it's you know, ECNL, obviously it's a good exposure platform, right?
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: For your sophomores, juniors, and that, but we literally have people now thinking, we gotta get my nine-year-old on that path, we gotta get my 10-year-old on that path.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: I have people that would go rather sit on the bench on the top team at a big club.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Go to Hawks and then just sit on the bench and not play.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, who's gonna get better?
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_03: Are you gonna get better sitting on the bench or are you gonna get better playing, making mistakes, learning from them, getting all the touches?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there is development is such a long process.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I think people are losing sight of that.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody asked me yesterday, I forget where they were, maybe Tennessee, and they're like, when do you make the jump to like the big club?
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, depends on the player.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: 100%.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: For everybody it's different.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a middle of the road player, I would wait.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: I would wait.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're gonna go and be number nine on that roster, you're going to get replaced over time.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: 100%.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because, and this is how I looked at it as a coach the earlier I go and get eyes on you, the more I find something wrong with you.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 100%.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like you get labeled.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: I have kids, I've told so many families, if you go too soon before you are ready, you get labeled as a B team kid or you know, number nine in the roster, you can't get out of it.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_03: You get stuck.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of times you'll get replaced from someone, someone from another club.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_03: They're not always given those kids that once you're viewed as a number nine, you're a number nine.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_03: You're not moving up to five or four or two.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's harder to get opportunity.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then I then I said, Okay, if you're the special one, yeah, you can go whenever you want.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because it doesn't matter.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can go when you're 13, you can go when you're nine.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you're always going to be at the top.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: And that's what we you know, we're talking about before we started rolling.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: You know, uh, one of my 2009 Lightning players played in the Lightning program from the time he was eight years old all the way up.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_03: Our 2009 team lost in the State Cup final.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: Phenomenal team, phenomenal group of kids.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_03: Most wanted to go play high school.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: This kid is so good.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: I picked up the phone.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: I called three major clubs around here.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: I called Liverpool, Jags, Wolves.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_03: Every single one said, absolutely, send them out all to take a look.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: And he went out, I think he got offers from two of the three, um, played a year with Liverpool, and now just signed with the Jags MLS next one team.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_03: So if kids are good enough, no coach, no club is gonna be like, no, I'm not taking a look because they came from here or because they came from there.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like, if you're that good, you're gonna get opportunity.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I yesterday I went on this rant about the kids falling through the cracks, and we were talking about that before.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's not real.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's not in in today's age, when every game is filmed, every kid can have a highlight tape.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, is there a kid in downtown Detroit that might be a baller?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right, maybe, yeah, but I don't think it's milli people act like there's messies downtown that we're missing because of the system.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, next time you see that kid play, yeah, take a camera, put it on social media, and Vardar wolves.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: 100% Liverpool will come or Vardar Wolves.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, every Jags.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: If you're good enough, you're gonna get noticed, and they will give you an opportunity.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said, I called three coaches.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone was like, absolutely send them out.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: They want good players, like you know what I mean?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I I think timing and the player I'm talking about, if he had gone at like 11, 12, I think he kind of would have got, you know, buried, kind of middle of a pack, lower end.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: He went when he was at the top of his game, ready to step in as a top kid.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_03: And that's why, you know, he he was given a chance.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like he went when he was ready.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's huge.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_03: I think if you go too soon, I don't think it can end well for a lot of kids.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: And then they come back.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_03: We see a lot of kids that come back to our program.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: So we see kids that are kind of in the lightning program, they'll start at like U7, U8, then they start to panic at U10, U11, U12.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: If I don't go now, I'm not gonna go to college, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_03: And then they come back when it doesn't work out over there.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like it's this revolving door.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: How do you educate parents on that?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's challenging because, especially parents of first children, because it comes from a place of love with them.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I don't fault them, right?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_03: It's because they love their child, it's because they want them to be able to do it.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's your number one prize possession.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: But they they literally think that if if my child is not on this team wearing this logo, and if they don't go now, they're never gonna have a chance.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: And it's actually the opposite.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_03: You go too soon, that's when you're not gonna have a chance.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_03: If it, you know, you have to develop prior to exposure.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like you're you're not gonna get the exposure at 15, 16, 17 if you haven't developed in the proper way.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because they're not focused on individual development.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: So like if you're not all the way there, you're not gonna kill two birds with one stone.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_03: And the other thing I tell parents, it's like if you have a good coach and you're at a small club, like a good coach at a small club beats an average coach at a big club.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like, look at individual coaches, right?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like a lot of coaches have many, I mean, a lot of programs have so many different coaches.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_03: Who is your kid playing for?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_03: Look at the individual coach, do your research.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: What's the environment?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_03: What are the practices like?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_03: You know, is your kid playing with confidence?
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_03: Is there technical training?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_03: You have to look all that.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_03: And I think we have people that are leaving good environments just to chase something else when they don't even know what they're getting into.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: They don't.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: No, and then they're like, Holy cow, what did I just do?
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then they're also miserable.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the parents are also miserable.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we talk about the kids not having fun.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: The parents are like, what in the world?
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: And now with the phones and stuff, you got a whole circle of parents texting each other after the game.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's just become this, you know, you got people texting and breaking down nine-year-old soccer.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you know, when you should just be leaving the field, you know, telling your kid, I always tell my kids when we get in the car, I love watching you play.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_03: That's a big one for me.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: I always start with that.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_03: And then with my daughter, who just turned 11, I'm like, what's one thing you think you did good?
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_03: She'll tell me.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: What's one thing that you want to improve on for next game?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_03: She'll tell me, we move on.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_03: The game's over for the day.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_03: We talk about you know what we're having for lunch and we move on.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: Did you coach before you had kids?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_03: So that I I got into all this.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: I've always, you know, obviously I was a player.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um, always wanted to coach, but you know, I had my kids, I had four of them in six years, was a busy mom.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_03: When my first one wanted to play, I'm like, hey, if you're gonna play.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna coach.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: And that's why I coach in the Nova Lightning program.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: I want to coach my kids.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm gonna do this and spend hours on the field, I wanna make these memories with my own children.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_03: And now I've met all these other kids and all these other families, and we're growing something incredible here at the Lightning program.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_03: But no, it was my own kids that I you know got me into it.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: And three of the four are Lightning players.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um, one of my hockey players, my now 13-year-old, he tried soccer and was like, uh-uh, not having it.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sticking with hockey.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_03: But I've coached three of my four kids' lightning teams, and it's been really awesome, and they've all been really different teams.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, like I said, my oldest son played on the 08s and 09s, both of those teams were really good, high-level teams.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_03: Um, my 2011 team, every single kid on the team except for two, um, have another sport that is their primary sport.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_03: We have hockey players, we have wrestlers, we have basketball players, we have football players.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_03: So we're still an MSPSP team.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_03: I don't play at the highest level.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: We only do one tournament, you know, per season, but they play because they love the game.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: And they love each other.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: And it's still okay to have teams like that.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's still okay to play for the love of the game.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and then my girls team, my 2015 girls team is gonna is if this core group stays together, we'll be the best team I have ever coached.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: They are a group that not yet, we're not there yet, we're making strides, but in two years, I think could challenge the best teams in the area.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_03: If people stay, if people recognize we have a great team, we have a good environment, we have a knowledgeable coach, we don't need to go chase a logo yet.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: And uh you touched on a lot there.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: One, multi-sport athletes.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: You still you're not trying to fight and say you're only a soccer player.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Two, how many, okay, let's talk about the girls.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: How many are all Novi kids?
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_03: Uh the majority of the team.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: So we have Do you guys have a rule where it's like 60% or anything?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: No, there's no rule.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_03: The only thing, I mean, we're we're a cheap club.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_03: I think our cost is$399, three hundred ninety-nine dollars for our season.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's for out of if you're out of Novi, it's$430.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_03: So that that's the base cost.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hold on.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're paying wait, you're in the MPSP.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, my boys play MSPSP, my girls are in MSDSL.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_03: So that's our base cost.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_03: We have$50 uniforms.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_03: Now, let me my boys who I were talking about, who are the multi-sport team, right?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said, we only do one tournament.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: My girls' team, on the other hand, like I said, these girls are soccer players.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_03: So we play all winter, we play Great Lakes League, we travel all over to different tournaments, we play State Cup.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_03: So you do have added costs.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: Got it.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: But that's our base cost.
• 24:32
  unknown: Wow.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, and then that kind of goes into the whole pay-to-play.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's like, well, it's too expensive.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have no somebody, somebody, somebody DM me.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't understand how many DMs I get.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's ridiculous.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: It is ridiculous.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I did the math, it's a thousand per month.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's about a thousand per month just from all over.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody wants to sue the ECNL and uh MLS Nets and U.S.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: soccer and US club soccer for making players have to go to those leagues to play.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody makes you leave.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody makes you leave.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's a choice.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, well, what about the monopoly?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, wait a minute.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: GA and ECNL are separate entities, they're separate companies.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a monopoly.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a monopoly.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: And and then somebody chimed, I posted it, and something like Oh, I didn't see this.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'll have to take a look.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody chimed in and goes, like, actually, it not being a monopoly is a bigger problem.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because we have so many different organizations and governing bodies that it'd be almost better if we were all in the same tier.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then we could just climb.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because think about it, like if your girls stay together, there's potential that you can beat.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know what I mean?
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: And wouldn't that be great?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: It would.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that would be awesome if we could create something that could challenge these big clubs.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_03: And again, I'm not knocking big clubs.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_03: I think for some kids it's great.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's a great fit.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: But everybody's different.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_03: My point is it's not the only path.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like there, there is other paths, right?
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like, and parents are losing sight of that.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_03: They're panicking, they're putting kids in situations that they're not ready yet for, or they're taking taking them out of situations that, like I said, my girls think they're gonna be good.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like, no one needs to go.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_03: Now, if we got to a point where we were losing players and, you know, I didn't think when we got to, you know, the recruiting years, if I had some players that I didn't think my team could get exposure or get eyes on, I just call and I move them.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like it, you know what I mean?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: It's I just think we're parents are they're scared.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: They're scared of making wrong moves at 10.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_03: There's no wrong move when they're 10.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_03: They need to play, they need to develop, they need to be loving the game.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's that's what we've lost sight of.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think and in it's almost like if you stay, you're gonna you have you're less likely likely to regret the decision.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas and this is almost a hundred percent they leave and they miss the lightning.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they miss the environment, right?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: And you said that most of them are Novi.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: Are they all gonna uh are a lot of them gonna go to the city?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of them will go to Novi High School.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_03: We have a couple that are north for high school, and then a few private, yes.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: So it's it's a it's a good chunk of girls.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: I mean it is what did you know about Novi before you moved here?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: What year did you move here?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um so we moved here in 2011.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_03: So I didn't know much about Novi other than good schools.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: That was really important to me because I had you know four kids.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um so that was kind of my driving point.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't know much about the youth sports around here.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_03: I learned very quickly.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_03: Novi?
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: Novi historically is the it's the best high school in the in the state.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now maybe East Kentwood or something like that out there, but Nova girls, those games are those have you been to a like a game?
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we go out.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: Is it still nuts?
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: Um, not as much because everyone's looking at their phone.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: The environment has changed, which you know that and some of them play at Hawks and they're playing year one or national.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the thing.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: We've taken the top kids out of high school, which I don't love, you know.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, when I was growing up, I could play in my club, I could play in my high school team.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_03: My high school team, we had four girls go D1, and I think three go D3.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, you could do both, and I would love to see that happen again.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's the same way in hockey.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_03: You can't play triple-A hockey and play for your high school.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_03: There's a bunch of no buy Novi boys that if nobody, if they played for Novi High School, like Nobi would be a contender, you know.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I don't I don't like that structure.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_03: I don't like that we have separated that.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_03: I think the high school experience, some of my best memories, like with my high school teammates, probably even more so than my club.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, just being with the girls, and I I can remember the game so vividly.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: I have a picture um at home, and it's we played, so I played for West Windsor Plainsborough South High School.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_03: We played against East Brunswick, New Jersey, in the state semifinal.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_03: Heather O'Reilly, who played on the women's national team.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_03: She was their star.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_03: I was our star.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_03: The game went to penalty kicks.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: She's pretty good.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she's yeah, she's pretty good.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um, the game went to penalty kicks, and we won in PK's, but we have a picture of our whole team like hugging, and then Heather's just laying on the ground crying.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I always point it out to my kids.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, she went on to play on the national team, but it's just that's such a memory for me.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: So think about it.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it in the closed system.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: You don't get to play those players anymore.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's that's what I'm saying.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly I got to play against Simone Omaconda, who was on the U17 national team.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: I got to play against Nate Norman, who was on the U 17.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that's gone.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people that I know in Buffalo, their moms played against Abby Womback.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_03: That's gone.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_03: It is, and it's unfortunate, in my opinion.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and I and I think that is taking some of the enjoyment out of it.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I have um, she's a senior in high school, plays for a big club.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_03: Um she comes to me for personal training, technical training, and she's going to play D1 next year.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I, you know, I'm like, are you excited?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and I said, Was it worth it?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like, that's my question for you.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_03: And she goes, you know, yes and no.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, well, explain that to me.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: And she said, No, because I missed, I missed Prom.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_03: I missed all the Friday night football games, I missed all the things.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_03: And then I said, Well, what's the yes?
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_03: And she goes, it made my parents so happy to see me sign Division I.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_03: And it kind of hit me because I'm just like, you know, I I it's it made her parents happy.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_03: That was her answer.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't, it made me really happy.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_03: That sucks.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, because I don't know.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: How long does it take your players to send out an email to a college coach?
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: How long would it take to send out a hundred?
• 30:52
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• 30:56
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• 31:04
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• 31:14
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• 31:19
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• 31:27
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• 31:33
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• 31:37
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• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, what are we playing for anymore?
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm sure she's gonna go on to have successful careers, great kid, they are a great family.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: But when she said that to me, I'm just like, that really resonates, right?
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_03: Like it just shows you like what are what are we what are we doing this for?
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: I I I think we're we're losing sight of some things in all of this.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's another thing with the whole slip through the cracks thing, is that like a lot of people talk about slipping through the cracks, but a lot of people that are given the opportunity aren't willing to make the sacrifice.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: True.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah so I had a kid in Buffalo that was, and I've been on this thing, is like if you want to make like the national team, the youth national teams, you're gonna have to be on an MLS Academy.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: Not MLS next, an MLS Academy.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: He gets offered sporting KC.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: The parents aren't willing to ha send him to be with a host family.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, another family from Buffalo, their son has been with a host family since he was 13.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they're willing to do that sacrifice.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_03: And it's a lot.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's just what are you there's a kid in Alaska that plays for uh Phoenix Rising in Arizona, right?
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: So that's that's sacrificing.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: You see a lot of that in the hockey world too.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_03: So a lot of these kids they live with billets.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, they they're from out of state, they they live with billets, and you go do that because they are chasing something, they want something, you know.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_03: So there is a ton of sacrifice that comes with all of that.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I think some kids truly want it because they love the game.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_03: And then I think there are other kids that are, you know, doing it for mom or dad, or doing it because they don't know any better, because from the time they've been 10 years old, this is all they know.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: So how do you balance it as a parent?
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like you, okay, you're obviously coaching, but then you have four high-level athletes.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_03: What I mean, uh if they're not having fun anymore, they're not doing it.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said, two of my boys, triple A hockey players, they are so passionate, they love it.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_03: My secondborn son, he's my one that plays all the school sports.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_03: He plays, he's an eighth grader, middle school football, middle school basketball, middle school track.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_03: Loves it, loves being with his friends, doesn't want to go try and play in college anywhere.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_03: He's like, I just love this experience.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, he's my most well-rounded, you know, one.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna say, is he the best athlete?
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: He's he's super athletic by nature.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_03: He he is, but he's also my one that my my other ones, like you you see the difference in my oldest and youngest son, even my daughter, they're they're hardcore into it.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_03: My secondborn son, he he wants to just enjoy it and have a good time.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I think that's okay.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_03: Like there's nothing wrong with that, you know what I mean?
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: And I also think from an injury prevention standpoint, all my kids have had their different, you know, bouts with injury.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_03: My oldest son had a huge shoulder surgery, had to have eight metal rods put in.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_03: My secondborn, he's never had anything, and I think it's because he plays so many different sports.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we're seeing adult level injuries in youth sports because we're treating youth sports like adult sports.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_03: The average ACL tear used to be 21, now it's 16.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_03: One in 10 teenage athletes, girls will tear their ACL.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's like one in 14 for the boys.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_03: Those are scary numbers, like really scary numbers.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_03: And it's because of specialization too young.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_03: And it's because, as we talked about earlier, like we're so focused on pattern plays and ball movement.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_03: We're not doing moving mechanics, we're not doing agility.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_03: Coaches aren't doing that in practice anymore.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_03: So we're not doing a lot of those movement-based things that are needed to prevent injuries in the long run.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_03: These kids have muscle imbalances, and that's why, again, one in ten teenage female athletes will tear their ACL.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_03: I just find that outrageous, you know.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_03: So it's I believe in the multi-sport athlete.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's, you know, I think it's helps all around with them being uh better developed, preventing injuries, and being happier, to be honest with you.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: How where in New Jersey are you from?
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm from West Windsor.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_03: It's uh just outside of Princeton, so central Jersey.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what what is the New Jersey difference?
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: Why why is it a soccer hotbed?
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: Why I mean Michigan is a soccer hotbed too, but like Kearney, New Jersey, Lake, how far are you great?
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: How far are you from there?
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we're not far.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we travel there all the time.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_03: And we would travel out New Jersey's not huge, so we would just literally call it Soccer City USA or whatever.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_03: And again, now I have to tell you in New Jersey, like multi-sport athletes are still a big thing.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_03: I know a lot of, you know, I have friends who still live there whose kids play, and they're still playing a lot of the multi-sports.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_03: So I I think that's good.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_03: I think the kids don't get burnt out.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_03: I think there's less parental pressure.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I think the clubs are a little more accepting of the multi-sport athlete than maybe they are here.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I think that's a big thing.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_03: But there's just a lot of talent.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, the kids start playing young.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, people New Jersey has like a bad rap of being like these tough people.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_03: I I don't I I think people there, when I was growing up, at least it's probably changed some now, but a little more balanced, maybe not as hardcore into things as I see in Michigan.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_03: Um, maybe not, and again, it may it maybe it's changed.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_03: But from you know, my friends who are still back there who have kids playing, it doesn't seem as crazy there as it is here.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't necessarily have the exact answer as to why, but something's different.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because you have like PDA, which is like a massive, like one of the best clubs in this in the country, but I mean what I what I have a hard time wrapping my head around is that when I left, when I went to when I moved to Buffalo, it was Wolves and it was Vardar.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it was Hawks and it was Vardar, right?
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now Waza, then Waza and uh Gators merge, and now that it's nationals, and now that's like the biggest club, and then the Jags just continues to grow.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's just crazy.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't imagine being a parent that didn't play soccer.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: Grasping, how do you help that?
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: How do you educate?
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you guys like do you do anything where like you actually have parent meetings?
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: All the time.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: Or okay.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_03: I I do, I do, especially like my younger age groups.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_03: I I just had one with my uh U11 girls because um obviously this year there's gonna be an age change.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_03: There's a lot changing.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_03: Also, the big clubs like the Jags are having their tryouts, I think, May 17th and 18th.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_03: Our lightning tryouts are like June 14th.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like we're like a full month after them.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: So Father's Day weekend, usually is that Father's Day weekend?
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't even know.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: But um that's that's how it always used to be.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's with Father's Day weekend.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then that's what we just all knew.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_03: So it's different this year.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_03: So I mean, I've I've had more parent meetings this year than I think I have in the past.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I've always had the parent meetings and always tried to touch on my beliefs, my experience, this process, all of the things.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um, this year, especially, I think we have people panicking more because of the age change, because tryouts are at different times.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_03: I this is the most I've ever had people from other clubs reach out to me this early because their tryouts are soon, right?
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_03: So they are like, hey, can you take a look at my kids so I know if they're a good fit for you?
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_03: Do I need to go to my tryouts in May or do I wait for yours in June?
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what do we do here?
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: You're oh nine.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: How when did you start coaching him?
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um oh, eight, eight years old.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: Eight years old, so we're looking at what 2015-ish?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_03: I think before that, because uh yeah, I know about that.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_03: You're better at math than I am.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_03: But that's why we're in the soccer industry, no math for us.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just trying to think of were we already birth year when they started?
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, we were birth year, yes.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_03: So she's a 2009, but um uh Cameron Wright and I, we decided to take the 08s and the 09s together.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_03: So both of ours were 09s, but we there was this really great group of 2008 boys.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_03: So we coached both teams, and then both our sons played both 08s and 09s.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason why I asked that is because so many I was coaching pre when it was school year or whatever, when it was, you know, the what September 1st to August 31st or whatever, or July, it was August 1st and July 31st or whatever.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then it switched to birth year, and now it's switching back.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel that like if you were there during the first switch, you're looking at it like this doesn't matter.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like everything will work out.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone else is there.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: But if you weren't there, I feel like that's when the panic has come in, and all these parents are going through this for the first time, and I think that's where the panic is.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and I think some of it, right?
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like, um so my my girls' team is young, like the way we're a 2015 team.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_03: I have a lot of 2016s and a lot of young 2015s.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, if you broke us down, if our program was going to require kids to play in their age group, I think I'd have 10 girls that would have to go down.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it would basically implode our team.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_03: My daughter's one that would not.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_03: So I'd be left with like four or five girls, 10 would have to go down, it would split us up.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_03: So I I fought really hard, and Steve and I had a lot of conversations about not forcing kids into an age group.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: Let's put kids where they can best develop.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_03: So I never look at when I look at tryouts, I don't look at their birth date.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_03: I look at the best kids out there and who's gonna best develop in my team and my environment.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_03: So that's why I think I have five 2016s on my team this year or a 2015 team.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_03: They fit in great.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_03: They're in the best environment to develop.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: I wish that could happen at like at scale.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why can't we have two-year age groups?
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of having to have five great teams, you could get away with having three great teams.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that was yeah, when the development academy started, that's how it was.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: But then what they found was if that that gap year, let's say you were a the 15-16 team and you're 14 and you're jumping up, and if you didn't make it, they'd leave.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_00: And they would go play for somebody else's A team.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's a gap and and that killed it, and that's what made them go to But that's there's a difference between soccer age and chronological age.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's a 10-year-old that's better than a 13-year-old.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: There's a 13-year-old that's better than a 16-year-old, and it's just if we just did it based on how good teens were, yeah, and that seems like that worked for you guys.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean, I I place cids where they can best develop, you know.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_03: If if I have a younger player who's good enough to play with me and I think we're gonna develop properly, I take them.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: How okay, what is your role at Lightning?
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: So um right now I I am I am a coach.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that is I like I said, I came in with the 08s and 09s.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_03: I also um 2011 boys I currently have, 2015 girls I currently have, and then I run a lot of um programs through um the city.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_03: I do a lot of technical programs, I do shooting clinics.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um a lot of our lightning teams attend those.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_03: I do a camp in the summer, and I get um kids from a lot of other uh clubs that come out to those as well.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: So um I mean, coach is my main role, but I've kind of really tried to up the technical game in our club.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_03: So I've kind of taken on that role.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_03: I offer clinics all fall, all winter, all summer that are basically technical.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_03: Technical training.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_03: It is an hour of technical training.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: All different age groups, I do it by levels too.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I have a recreational level, I have a younger kind of club, you know, select level, and I have an elite level and all that.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm really trying to build technical in this program.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of coaches, I mean, they're great and they come for feedback and they're doing it with their teams now.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_03: Like I see them out at practice.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I think people are starting to understand the importance of technical training.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so that's something I think I've really helped bring to our program.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but yeah, I mean I I love it.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_03: I I love this program.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said, I I have all the respect in the world for other clubs and bigger programs, but I think we're doing a lot of really good things here.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I think we're proving you can develop really well.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_03: And at times you can often develop and better, in my opinion.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_03: And then when the time is right, if your team's not good enough, if you don't, you know, we can't play at a high enough level to get kids exposure when those exposure years come, you move them.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_03: You move them at the right time.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do you okay, uh do you set kind of a technical curriculum at all?
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it for your other coaches?
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it more that's this is m what you do?
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_03: So I kinda, you know, I I tell them always look at your team, okay?
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like l where are they at?
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like we have some weaker teams in our program because some of our boys' teams have like an A, B, C, D, right?
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_03: So you have to, you're not gonna exactly do the same things with the A team that you're gonna be with the D team.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_03: You you got to start smaller.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna start at a slower scale and build up.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_03: So I always tell coaches first, look at your team.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_03: Where are you at?
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, that's where you're gonna start.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_03: But then it's it's right into it's your basics.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_03: It's your two touches, it's your one touches, it's all the parts of the feet.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_03: I mean with the little kids, it's it's touches.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_03: It it's it's learning how to receive that first touch.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's it's the basics.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_03: But I think there's this jump and this hurry to oh we just skip the basics get right into possession.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_03: Well if the kid can't receive the ball or if they can't pass properly possession's not going to really work.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know and so many coaches want to have advanced tactics.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: You can't have advanced tactics until you have the basics.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_00: Without advanced technique.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: And when you said all the surfaces that that hits home with me because throughout the technical training that I've done yeah my number one thing is can we close the skill gap between your strong foot and your ugly foot or your weak foot.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not just let's make your left foot better it's what's better you're the inside of your right or the inside of your left what's better the outside of your right or the outside of the left?
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: Can we close those little gaps?
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: 100% 100% and and it's so glossed over because in a team environment and every coach will say every coach will say oh well what we want to work on technical we just don't have the time what are we talking about?
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah how do you not have the time you guys train four times a week yeah well it's like I said I have I have so many kids at the big clubs that come to me for technical training you know um but again it is we did so much technical training in college at Syracuse.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_03: I mean you it technical training is not going away like you need to be technically sound and work on it for the rest of your life if you want to play at a high level so the fact that we're skipping it with a lot of the younger age groups I it's so backwards.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_03: I mean we should be I you know my practices are probably I probably do 40 minutes of technical training we technical train a lot you know and the kids have gotten to the point they just know they know this is a part of it but like to see the progress my girls team we were really bad two years ago I mean we started raw we were awful to see the growth in two years' time that's why I'm saying this it's a very special group if I can keep this core together we're gonna do some really cool things down the road and again we're not you're there yet but if we keep developing the way that this group is I I'm really excited for what's to come that's the everybody okay so when I went uh was in Buffalo I started my own training company in 2015 and I I ended up getting my own facility and everything and almost every single year month somebody had asked me like do you miss team coaching?
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I go no but I do miss seeing the improvement yeah of getting a team in August and seeing what they look like in June.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't it wild that was fun yeah that was so much fun because I would always tell parents it's like most of your improvement is going to happen in the winter.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah oh yeah because that's when we have more training and less games what do you guys do during the winter so gyms um so we a lot at Total Nova East.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_03: So we we play in that boarded league there we also play in the Great Lakes League and then my girls I I we play against the boys for a boarded league where is Total Nova East so it's on Grand River and Meadowbrook.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_03: It used to be like Wixham no that's not Wix no Wixham is the larger facility Total Nova East it used to be like uh indoor roller hockey I think they literally have boards like hockey so it's all 7v7 I love boarded south so the kids love it.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: Was that part of your growing up in Jersey?
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_00: No there's no such thing we were at gyms we were in like gyms with hardwood floors and nets that was our indoor and you weren't using futsal balls you were using regular balls that you had to like be able to control.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is something that we're losing too is that everybody wants turf everybody wants 11v11 field.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's like guys we're missing a big part of development that developed some great players 100% being able to control an actual ball on a gym floor if you can control it in there yes exactly if you control it in there you'll be just fine in the grass when it's rolling slower you know and I get so many complaints yeah we're just training in a gym yeah and I'm like I wish I was still training in a gym.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_03: 100% I know we've I think we uh we've we've we've we're equating fancier with better you know like we're it's like it's you know what I mean we think even it's funny because like um you know I'll have some I don't start I don't start doing numbers like position by number until we get to 11 be 11 like my why I mean why wouldn't that's the thing so there isn't like I still outside back center back they that way they can visualize okay I'm an outside back it gives them a general understanding of their space that's supposed to cover my center mid.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like I have some kids like I had one that came out to training the other day and I said where do you play and she was like I forget if it's like a two or a five I forget what they mean and I'm just like why are we overcomplicating this?
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like why are but I think it's it's what the Europeans do it it's yes it makes it sound more elite right like than saying you know you know my kid plays the six like I just think I just think we it's it's gotten silly almost it's like we're putting labels on things to make them sound better you know and that's like we're we're training on better surfaces because it's more elite.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_03: No you could you could train in here you could train on this four.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_00: Is soccer becoming like a pretentious sport?
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_03: I hope not but I just I think I could see it I think we're chasing elite status.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_03: You know I I think I I I do I think we're chasing elite status.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_03: I think everyone wants to put it on their Facebook page that my kid plays for this team and is doing this and that I I think we're losing the love of the game.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_03: I I I still let my kids have fun.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_03: Now when we're training when we're on the pitch we're focused right but when we're at water breaks they're chatting they're having a good time my boys' team you know they're you know making fun of one another in a joking way like they're having a great time right you know at the end of practice when practice is over like my younger girls team when it's over go do all your cartwheels go do whatever you want to do right like there's still kids this has to be fun you know we when we go to tournaments all the parents hang out we do team dinners we had a tournament at Halloween all the parents were dressed up in costumes walking around the hotel like we have a great time like you have to have fun I think for the kids and for the parents but I think sometimes people look at if you're having fun you're not you're not serious enough you're not you're not focused enough that was me like you know what I mean I was like that were you anti-fun?
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_00: I guess because I tried to be like the hard coach right but you can do both girls will you turn the music off get serious and focus and I'm like wait a minute and now I'm like what an idiot I was because that like that might be what they need to get focused.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_03: And you can have both.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_03: There's a balance right like I always say I I love hard I'm going to be hard on your kid but I'm gonna lead with love.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_03: That's kind of my philosophy.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like I I do hold them accountable I am hard on them but I lead lead with love.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_03: So they know I'm coming from a place I care about you.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_03: This is what I expect from you this is what we can do better.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm in your corner I got your back I want to see you succeed.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's really big for players you know to understand that.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_03: And every kid's different I mean you you got your one that you know has their headphones on is locked in two hours before game time like ready to go and then you got your one eating a bag of Doritos 30 minutes before game time that can step on the field and score three goals.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_03: I mean it's wild how different kids are right like it really is.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_03: But you have to find a way I think as a coach to connect to them individually and that's really important to me too.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_03: I always say if you want to have better players at the top you need a better environment at the bottom I treat every kid the same.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care if you're my worst player or you're my top player I treat you the same you know I give you the same um you know in in practice you're you're doing all the same things I don't have my best kids over here and my worst kids over here.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm giving you all the same opportunity.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_03: Now that doesn't mean playing time's even of course right like you know in our league games we had a league game the other day we're up by four like I had a lot of my stronger girls out and just let the others have maximum minutes.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_03: Our State Cup game yesterday everybody plays I get everybody in I'm just one of those coaches I know that even at 10 11 years old there's kids not going in the game.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_03: I don't believe in that not at not at that age but minutes aren't even you know some girls I had I had one girl yesterday I'm like I need you to go in right now and give me the six hardest minutes of your life and then you're coming out she was like great she went in and did it you know so you know kids start to understand their roles but everybody plays everybody is cared about the same way everybody is viewed the same way because I don't want to divide between the players either I don't want players looking at you know being like they didn't go in they're the weakest player on the team they will treat you differently absolutely you know what I mean and and I think some of it comes from the parents too if if we have parents at home talking about other players in front of their kids well that kid's gonna go to practice and how do you think they're gonna treat that teammate?
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly you know what I mean I had yeah I had this conversation last week exactly if a kid says something mean to a player or about a player or behind their back that parent probably they probably heard their parents in the car talking about just husband and wife or whatever and they're just like man somebody really struggled today yeah like she is a liability and then that girl is gonna be like liability yeah yeah you're the liability yes exactly and they don't even know what liability means but they're gonna go say it at practice.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly so parents have to be very 100% well and then it creates a divide in the team and camaraderie is everything.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_03: I mean camaraderie can be the make or break against two teams that are dead even I mean I I love we had a boys my boys' team we were in a tournament final last year and again we play MSPSP we're we're a classic level team we were playing a premier level team in a tournament and we were up one nothing as soon as we scored that all those boys turned on each other they were fighting they were screaming and my kids were like we got them exactly where we want them now like you as soon as you see that break in camaraderie we ended up winning and they were they were livid like they couldn't believe that we beat them but it camaraderie teammates supporting one another I always tell the parents like I don't want you to just cheer for your kid you cheer for everybody.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_03: And again if you we want better players on the top we've got to have a better environment on the bottom this is a team.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know we're all trying to close the 100% if we do this which I think is kind of what we do with these closed systems is that like there is the top of the top and we coach towards the 1% and and it is not that they're falling behind or falling through the cracks but they they're just the gap is widening is widening versus what it was I feel because we had things like State Cup where we got to play you got to play against Heather O'Reilly I got to play against Simone Omaconda I like it's gone.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yes and I think a big mistake we're making in a lot of programs we are just coaching the top couple girls at or boys at U9 U10 U11.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_03: We all know that some of the top kids at U9 U10 U11 don't last it doesn't last now some do right but a lot don't right especially if it's the athletic very very fast and stronger bigger faster stronger 100% oh my god I got in trouble I got in trouble one of my first years in Buffalo and in that situation I was like this kid I'm like you really need to work on your technical ability and work on the ball and the parent are like what are you talking about?
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_00: He scored 50 goals last year and all this stuff and I was like yeah but but just guys just trust me and because he was bigger faster and stronger and then he quits this team and goes to this team and he quits this team and goes to this team.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_03: And then all of a sudden he quit when everybody else caught caught up and that's why we need to be coaching all of our players we don't know like you know one of my best kids he might arguably be our best player on my 2011 boys team he was on the RB team for years.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_03: He was a later bloomer he's a really hard work like it you don't know how they're gonna develop yeah so that's why you you got to coach all of them.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_03: We can't just be coaching two of the top kids especially in the younger age groups because you don't know who's gonna be the top kid at 15, 16 17.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure a lot of coaches know how to do that.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I think I think they either they coach a session all through four of the top four players or they do it for the the bottom four.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like no you can do it where you can absolutely and I judge a lot of pla coaches off of how they coach their top players are they hard on them do they if number 18 on a roster makes a mistake but then number one does it are they are they corrected like this kid is yeah and if you do that then everybody buys in one of the best 100% one of the best compliments I ever got from a player was I I love playing for you because everybody is treated the same that like if I made a mistake I know that I got yelled at but I know that if she makes the same mistake she's gonna get corrected the same way a hundred percent and then that by that's buy-in and that's trust and it's and it's that relationship that you're talking about because the relationships there's sometimes I'm afraid at some of these bigger clubs that there are sessions where a kid could leave a session and not got not get spoken to by the coach.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah I know that's upsetting it is a hundred percent it is and and the kids notice absolutely I'm talking through my watch there.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_03: Nice we have a collar yeah um but yeah no I think you're spot on it's it's so frustrating it is and the kids notice and I I think it kills your confidence too because then you start to realize where you fall in on the team right like you you know I'm not looked at as the same way as that person or that person and I think it crushes your confidence right and that's really hard.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_00: One of the one of my favorite things to do since starting this podcast is talk to my former players right and I get comments all the time it's like I love your relationship with your players because it's just a conversation and we're like shooting the shit and then I'll make fun of them for doing something dumb or like or they'll rip on the thing like that rapport you have yeah absolutely and I think that is sometimes lost too and I think high school sports is does a little bit better job sometimes of developing that relationship and stuff like that.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_03: But I think that those relationships are so needed and like like that's life.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like you want to find people you have those relationships with and and can develop that bond and like I'm sure your players deep into their lives will still be calling you like for advice on things.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_03: They may have a family they'll be checking in like you just become that person in these people's lives and I I think that's really huge and and really important.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_03: And another thing I don't know if all coaches have that connection with their players and if they do like you said sometimes I think it's just on number one two and three because those are my stars.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_03: And you know and and sometimes I've even noticed coaches they only talk to the parents of the best players like even at the younger levels.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah who they're going up they're not going to talking to everybody and I'm just like these are all human beings.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like what are we doing you know but you see it you do.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_00: That is so true.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_03: When you started coaching were your kids already playing sports and playing for somebody else they were young so I started you know they were playing my you know my young well my oldest son who his team was the first that I coached he was already playing hockey he had played rec soccer so they were already doing things but as soon as he said I want to play travel soccer I'm like here we go you know um and got right into it and I never forced any of them like um my daughter she didn't start playing soccer till she was age dance was her thing.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_03: She's still a competitive dancer because again I'm a big believer in the multi sport athlete but she decided late she How do you do all that?
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's crazy.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_03: I was like I said I was in Buffalo last weekend it's crazy.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's it it's I feel like a chicken with my head cut off some days, but it's so worth it.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_03: I love every minute of it I mean my I love doing it all with them but it's a lot but I want them to be able to do it all.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think my daughter who just turned 11 should have to pick between dance and soccer.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_03: She also plays travel basketball I coach her team so I don't think they should have to pick yet if they want to do all those things and you can be good at all of them and do all of them.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_03: Will there come a time when they have to pick?
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yes but it doesn't have to be that young you never picked I never had to because it was a different environment.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_03: So like I said I I played both I a hundred goal score in soccer thousand point score in basketball in high school I mean I I played AAU I played travel soccer I was able to do all the things um I think in the older age groups now I I do not think you can I it it's just it's in any sport you can't do it in soccer you can't do it in hockey right can AAU basketball players play other sports really probably at the younger ages older ages I literally think it's every sport now I think if if you're looking to play at a super high level like I said my secondborn son he'll be a three sport athlete in high school playing high school sports.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_03: If you're looking to be a player that's you know trying to go on to play D1 or D3 you get to a point where you have to pick nowadays you can't do multiple things it's not like it was when I was growing up and I'm not saying it's right but it's how it's become I mean I don't know again the well-roundedness of being just a well-rounded athlete and a healthier athlete if you're playing multiple sports and everybody is on this kick about specialization you don't have to play organized sports either right that's true there's some people that just play you could just go and play pick up basketball or just shoot hoops like you don't have but pick up a tennis racket uh pick up a golf club do something yeah but I I think like I said what what's happened in our society we've gotten to the point in youth sports that it's like if I'm gonna put my kid in the sport well then they have to go to college and they have to go pro.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_03: Like we're putting kids in sports for the it used to be go get them exercise learn you know to be part of a team like fun have fun meet a friend meet a friend but now like we're literally looking at seven year olds and being like you know we've got to train them so that they're gonna go on to do this and this and this.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_03: And again look at the numbers what percentage of kids are going to play it's so low you know and that's why it's it's what's happening in youth sports is not okay.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_00: What does that genie get put back in the bottle?
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't know somebody from US soccer called me and they're like this bubble is going to burst and I go how?
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_00: How is this going to burst?
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_00: And he goes because people parents are eventually going to start stop paying and they're gonna go back to their local clubs.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like I hope you're right but I don't see it.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah I don't because look at how hard you have to it's almost like campaigning I know where you have to take it and I'm talking at like 10 and 11 I'm already having to do that.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_03: So it's insane I think we're still I think we're still moving in a bad direction.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_03: I would love to see it come back but I think like you said I I don't think it's gonna be for a very long time if it ever does.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's like when like prices are raised right and well they'll pay this amount for this service.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_00: Why would we why would we lower the price if they are willing to pay it and it's the same with soccer and a lot of people are making a lot of money a lot off of this and they're not gonna want to open up the system and then break what they're being able to get paid and and what they've built.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_00: Also like I'm okay with you making money as long as it's like as long as you're like a decent person and you care.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like I want to like I want to look at your organization.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_03: Some of these coaches need that money it's part of their income to live like I don't have a I don't have any problem with that.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_03: You know we don't get paid at lightning I'm doing this because you know I love it.
• 1:04:53
  SPEAKER_03: My day job I'm a personal trainer I do you know all my soccer clinics in that too either way is fine.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like you know what I mean it's it's just because someone's getting paid it doesn't mean they have like ill intentions you know I I but um on the flip side like I I have a friend and he and I banter back and forth.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_03: He's at a big club and he wanted me to take my eight best girls from my 2015 team and he's like bring them over with our top eight over here and I'm like well eight that's 16 girls and for 9v9 like that's a lot of subs and very low playing time and he's like it doesn't matter more money for you more money for the club and that is so the opposite of how I look at things you know what I mean like right so the yes I I I see both sides of like the money thing like you know so it's but it's interesting it's you know I don't I don't want to coach a team of 16 where I can barely get kids playing time and barely get them in the game for a paycheck.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm not saying all coaches do that.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said there are coaches this is part of their income they're making a living there's a lot of good coaches at big clubs you know that are paid and do a great job.
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely I'm just saying there there's this whole spectrum out there.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah you know how would you
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think that you would ever make the jump?
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because you obviously didn't hockey, right?
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever see like your daughter maybe having to do the jump and stuff like that?
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_00: Have you thought about that?
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_03: I don't because I think one of our big issues is always thinking three steps ahead.
• 1:06:14
  SPEAKER_03: We don't have to think three steps ahead.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, really?
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_03: Go ahead.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I was just gonna say, like, she she just turned 11.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_03: She had a birthday two weeks ago.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_03: She's 11.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_03: All I'm thinking about right now is her 11-year-old year.
• 1:06:28
  SPEAKER_03: Her developing, her getting better.
• 1:06:30
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like I'm not thinking about when she's 14, 15, 16.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_03: Why?
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like, why?
• 1:06:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and I think that's part of the reason with my my two sons that play hockey.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_03: The second one, I did it differently.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_03: I kept him in a double A environment until he was 13 years old.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_03: Because I I saw good coaching, I saw a good environment.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_03: He was playing all the time.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_03: He had freedom to make mistakes and and not get reamed out.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_03: You know, he could learn from it.
• 1:06:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, with my oldest son, I think I did, I did kind of dive in, and he was he was really good from the start.
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_03: So he fit in very well at at a triple A club.
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_03: And again, both of them, super successful kids today, you know, both, you know, hopefully will have the opportunity to play in college, two entirely different paths.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's like everybody wants to microwave the experience.
• 1:07:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:07:13
  SPEAKER_00: And they want to like, okay, okay, okay, okay, let's go, let's go, let's go.
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I got that from a coach too, where uh it was a clip with David Robertson from Nationals, right?
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 1:07:25
  SPEAKER_00: And and a kid that used to play for Nationals, like, how do you get into coaching?
• 1:07:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, you know, just go and go and I would what I would do is just go and watch and watch and observe some sessions and whatnot.
• 1:07:40
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Yeah, but I I really want the U13 level.
• 1:07:43
  SPEAKER_00: I want to teach like tactics and stuff.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, you're I'm like, dude, don't microwave your your development as a coach, too, because you need that piece because of what we were just talking about.
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you can't microwave your coaching career.
• 1:07:57
  SPEAKER_00: And but these parents worried about like nine and ten, are we at the on the best path track?
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_03: I hear it all the time.
• 1:08:04
  SPEAKER_03: The path.
• 1:08:05
  SPEAKER_03: The path.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_00: Path and platform.
• 1:08:09
  SPEAKER_00: If I hear platform one more time, I'm gonna lose it.
• 1:08:12
  SPEAKER_03: But you you know what's wild though?
• 1:08:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like, if I added the words, you know, pre-GA next to my team name, I'd probably double try out numbers because of five little letters, right?
• 1:08:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's it's it's it's crazy.
• 1:08:26
  SPEAKER_03: It it's it's everyone's looking for the path, the platform.
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_03: And again, there's different ones.
• 1:08:32
  SPEAKER_03: It works over at the big clubs, it works here, but it's about timing, it's about development.
• 1:08:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's we're so caught up and we think this there's this magical path that's gonna take our kid to the top.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_03: There's no such thing, right?
• 1:08:46
  SPEAKER_03: There's not, you know.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: It looks a lot like hard work.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, exactly.
• 1:08:50
  SPEAKER_00: And what is the thing about like oh oh overnight success?
• 1:08:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's like uh it takes it, it takes you about 10 years to be an overnight success.
• 1:08:58
  SPEAKER_03: And again, like some of the ones we think are gonna make it and go all the way end up not being the ones that make it.
• 1:09:03
  SPEAKER_03: Some of the ones that kind of were middle of the pack kids just blossom and they're the ones that end up going on to play.
• 1:09:09
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, just so much can happen.
• 1:09:11
  SPEAKER_03: So that's why like I always tell parents like focus on the now, like enjoy watching your kid play.
• 1:09:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's gone.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's gone.
• 1:09:19
  SPEAKER_03: That will be gone.
• 1:09:20
  SPEAKER_03: Gone.
• 1:09:20
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like these are the best moments of our lives.
• 1:09:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I love watching my kids play.
• 1:09:24
  SPEAKER_03: There's nothing better.
• 1:09:25
  SPEAKER_03: And then watching their improvement and development.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_03: Obviously, if they're not improving, right, maybe you're not in the best environment.
• 1:09:31
  SPEAKER_03: But if they're having fun, if they're getting better, if coach is running a good practice, if your kid is happy, you're doing all the right things.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_00: You could touch on this, but I feel okay.
• 1:09:43
  SPEAKER_00: We feel that and we know that youth players are identified as a soccer player.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_00: How many parents are identified as a soccer parent, as a soccer mom, a soccer dad?
• 1:09:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then eventually that's gone.
• 1:09:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes you do try to microwave the experience for your kid, and it's not a pleasant experience.
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_00: But what's that gonna look like what's that relationship gonna look like when your daughter is 26 now?
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_03: A hundred percent.
• 1:10:11
  SPEAKER_03: I think there's gonna be some resentment and some regret from kids towards parents.
• 1:10:14
  SPEAKER_03: I think parents, this becomes their whole world and whole life, and I don't think they know how to like operate and function after.
• 1:10:20
  SPEAKER_03: And then I think a lot of people are starting to make their child feel like their value and their worth is based on their performance in sports.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_03: So, like you said, how's how's that gonna play out when your kid has grown up?
• 1:10:33
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:10:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's tough.
• 1:10:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's like the girl you were talking about earlier, where uh about her commitment and the parents were just so like happy.
• 1:10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you and I've brought this up in the past and I got a little pushback or whatnot?
• 1:10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you let's say a a parent does put their daughter in a platform and it's five to ten thousand dollars a year.
• 1:10:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel that some there are parents out there that want that ROI of a soccer scholarship?
• 1:11:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:11:11
  SPEAKER_00: In reality, they could have just saved all that money.
• 1:11:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 100%.
• 1:11:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's what I'm saying.
• 1:11:15
  SPEAKER_03: By the time you add up what you've paid, like it's a college education.
• 1:11:18
  SPEAKER_03: It is a college education, um, a hundred percent.
• 1:11:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 1:11:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like it absolutely.
• 1:11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like sometimes that burden is put on the kids.
• 1:11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas like, I I don't want to play college soccer, but I have to.
• 1:11:31
  SPEAKER_03: I have to, a hundred percent.
• 1:11:33
  SPEAKER_03: And again, it's not all parents.
• 1:11:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I there are some great parents.
• 1:11:36
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, there's some girls that I train.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_03: I I have a 20, um, she's 2013.
• 1:11:42
  SPEAKER_03: She's, you know, um made the what a US 2013 girls team.
• 1:11:46
  SPEAKER_03: Wonderful family, well-grounded parents.
• 1:11:49
  SPEAKER_03: Like, they're out there.
• 1:11:50
  SPEAKER_03: There's still some really it's not everybody, but but I am seeing a turn.
• 1:11:54
  SPEAKER_03: They're starting to be more crazy than non-crazy.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah.
• 1:11:58
  SPEAKER_02: You think it's getting worse?
• 1:11:59
  SPEAKER_03: 100%.
• 1:12:01
  SPEAKER_03: I do.
• 1:12:02
  SPEAKER_03: I do.
• 1:12:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's getting worse.
• 1:12:06
  SPEAKER_02: How oh my god.
• 1:12:09
  SPEAKER_02: That sucks.
• 1:12:10
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:12:10
  SPEAKER_03: And like I said, the wonderful ones are still out there.
• 1:12:12
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of their kids, I feel like, are the ones that are succeeding and doing really well.
• 1:12:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:12:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I'm just I'm I think it's getting worse, and I think it's starting younger is more the bigger issue.
• 1:12:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's starting younger.
• 1:12:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's starting younger.
• 1:12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're right.
• 1:12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Go into State Cup a little bit.
• 1:12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Can we talk about that?
• 1:12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:12:31
  SPEAKER_00: So U11, State Cup, Junior State Cup in Michigan.
• 1:12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And you said how many teams are there?
• 1:12:38
  SPEAKER_00: So H, but there's bracket K.
• 1:12:40
  SPEAKER_00: We're in bracket K.
• 1:12:41
  SPEAKER_03: So it starts with A all the way down through K.
• 1:12:44
  SPEAKER_03: Some are brackets of five, some are four.
• 1:12:46
  SPEAKER_03: You're the mathematician here.
• 1:12:47
  SPEAKER_01: So let's do the math.
• 1:12:50
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's a lot of teams.
• 1:12:51
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of teams.
• 1:12:52
  SPEAKER_03: So we're in a pool of five.
• 1:12:53
  SPEAKER_03: Our bracket is five.
• 1:12:54
  SPEAKER_03: That isn't.
• 1:12:56
  SPEAKER_03: So we're grouped with BC Fire.
• 1:12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know how hard it is still to win a State Cup in the state of Michigan?
• 1:13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:13:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 1:13:03
  SPEAKER_03: It's impossible.
• 1:13:03
  SPEAKER_03: There's a lot of teams.
• 1:13:04
  SPEAKER_03: That's what, yeah.
• 1:13:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's why like when our our O9 boys went to the State Cup final a couple years ago, it was awesome.
• 1:13:09
  SPEAKER_03: It was huge for our club.
• 1:13:10
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it they beat some really good teams to get there.
• 1:13:14
  SPEAKER_03: But it's it's tough.
• 1:13:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it is hard to win.
• 1:13:16
  SPEAKER_03: And we're we're grouped with some really good teams.
• 1:13:17
  SPEAKER_03: We we tied a really good Nationals team last night that's ranked number nine in the state.
• 1:13:21
  SPEAKER_03: My girls did.
• 1:13:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but it's yes, you have to win your pool.
• 1:13:25
  SPEAKER_03: So, like I said, we're in a pool of five.
• 1:13:26
  SPEAKER_00: You have to win your pool to get out.
• 1:13:28
  SPEAKER_03: I believe there's one wild card because I think A through K, I think there's an odd number of brackets.
• 1:13:33
  SPEAKER_03: So I believe one wild card out of all of those brackets will go through one team.
• 1:13:37
  SPEAKER_03: So yes, you have to win.
• 1:13:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's knockout states.
• 1:13:40
  SPEAKER_03: And then it's top 16 advanced.
• 1:13:41
  SPEAKER_03: So that's your That's unbelievable.
• 1:13:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And and and some states, like New York, it's like you win four or three or four games and you're a State Cup champion.
• 1:13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which is which is wild.
• 1:13:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's like it's a little bit different in Michigan.
• 1:13:55
  SPEAKER_00: You do.
• 1:13:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's a it's a lot harder.
• 1:13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why it was such a big deal back in the year.
• 1:13:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, because it's the thing.
• 1:14:00
  SPEAKER_03: Even if you kind of get lucky with your initial draw with your four or five, you know, whoever you're playing in that next round is gonna be really good.
• 1:14:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like you're you're gonna run into some hard teams.
• 1:14:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's not just like, oh, we got a good draw, we just have to win three games, we're state champs.
• 1:14:14
  SPEAKER_03: That's not how it works here.
• 1:14:15
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:14:16
  SPEAKER_00: And and how how is the seating?
• 1:14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said the nationals are ninth.
• 1:14:22
  SPEAKER_00: How is that ranking?
• 1:14:23
  SPEAKER_03: So I mean, there I don't think the rankings are truly accurate.
• 1:14:28
  SPEAKER_03: So everybody is ranked some and then this is what's funny, that's how it needs to be.
• 1:14:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's our you know, you'll look at U11, girls standing, like everybody is ranked in the state.
• 1:14:37
  SPEAKER_03: Do I think this the rankings are accurate?
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely not.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think they take into it.
• 1:14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's in a different league.
• 1:14:42
  SPEAKER_03: They don't take strength of schedule into account, I don't think.
• 1:14:44
  SPEAKER_03: And that's that's huge.
• 1:14:45
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:14:47
  SPEAKER_03: So um I don't think I mean it'll give you rankies will give you a general idea, right?
• 1:14:51
  SPEAKER_03: But I don't think they're exactly accurate.
• 1:14:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, I think I want to say that nationals team we played as the highest ranked team in our bracket, doesn't mean they're gonna go on and win that bracket.
• 1:15:02
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's we're in with some really good teams.
• 1:15:03
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it could be anyone could take it.
• 1:15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Who else is in your bracket?
• 1:15:06
  SPEAKER_03: So we have BC Fire, Battle Creek, um, Midwest United.
• 1:15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 1:15:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, Royal Oak is also with Royal Oaks, yep.
• 1:15:15
  SPEAKER_03: They have a good club, they have a good club.
• 1:15:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Holding on and doing a good job of like kind of doing what you're doing is just like just continuing to provide the community.
• 1:15:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, 100%.
• 1:15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:15:29
  SPEAKER_03: So that's I mean, we we're we're in a strong bracket, but I also love that because I love good competition.
• 1:15:34
  SPEAKER_03: That's what makes you better, right?
• 1:15:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I I'm okay with losing.
• 1:15:37
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:15:38
  SPEAKER_03: Like, if we lose to a club that's better than us, well, that shows us where we're trying to get to, it gives us a taste of the top.
• 1:15:44
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:15:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's another reason why I moved home.
• 1:15:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's because the the iron sharpens iron thing.
• 1:15:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's true.
• 1:15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's you're playing more meaningful games here at nine than some other states.
• 1:15:56
  SPEAKER_00: There are nine games.
• 1:15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:15:58
  SPEAKER_00: To get a competitive game, when I got there in New York, a really good nine-year-old team had to play 12-year-olds to get a game.
• 1:16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because uh otherwise it'd be like 10-0 because they collect all the talent very, very young.
• 1:16:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's really frustrating.
• 1:16:13
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it's like we were at we were in Whistle in the fall, won 8-0.
• 1:16:17
  SPEAKER_03: We won, I think every tournament we went to.
• 1:16:19
  SPEAKER_03: I think we were like 19-1 and one in the fall or something.
• 1:16:23
  SPEAKER_03: Our goals four were like 57 to 6.
• 1:16:25
  SPEAKER_03: Is that gonna make us better?
• 1:16:27
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 1:16:27
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 1:16:27
  SPEAKER_03: So that's why I said to Steven, like, we need, we need, we need to move out of this league.
• 1:16:32
  SPEAKER_03: So he did.
• 1:16:32
  SPEAKER_03: He moved us into MSDSL.
• 1:16:34
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we're playing higher quality, better tournaments now.
• 1:16:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like we're we're we're ready to, you know, for that next level.
• 1:16:40
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like, I want the competition.
• 1:16:42
  SPEAKER_03: I'm okay with losing against a good team.
• 1:16:44
  SPEAKER_03: I think I think parents struggle more with the losing and going back to I'm not trying to bask them.
• 1:16:49
  SPEAKER_03: I have great parents on my team.
• 1:16:51
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just saying, um I just mean in general.
• 1:16:53
  SPEAKER_03: There's there's yes, there's a this whole, you know, but losing is good for you.
• 1:16:57
  SPEAKER_03: That's where you get the most growth.
• 1:16:59
  SPEAKER_03: It's okay to lose.
• 1:17:00
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:17:01
  SPEAKER_03: Shows you what you need to get better at.
• 1:17:03
  SPEAKER_00: So how many, okay.
• 1:17:06
  SPEAKER_00: We you how wait, what do the boys do?
• 1:17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do the boys play, do stay cup?
• 1:17:13
  SPEAKER_03: So my 2000, my the my older ones, like my 2009s, who aren't together anymore because most went to play high school and then we moved some on to other clubs.
• 1:17:20
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:17:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, my 2011s, we don't because they're my team of hockey players, football players, basketball players, they do everything else.
• 1:17:26
  SPEAKER_03: So we're going we're going to a tournament in South Bend, Indiana.
• 1:17:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's our spring, you know, tournament.
• 1:17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you know it.
• 1:17:32
  SPEAKER_00: That was the first uh that was the first tournament I've ever I ever played in.
• 1:17:37
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 1:17:37
  SPEAKER_03: Was it good?
• 1:17:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's our first time going.
• 1:17:39
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we've gone to a lot.
• 1:17:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love the Notre Dame campus.
• 1:17:42
  SPEAKER_03: We've been there for hockey a couple times.
• 1:17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm hoping to go to Notre Dame to talk to uh the head coach soon.
• 1:17:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, but how okay, you don't know how many teams exactly you have for Novae Lightning.
• 1:17:55
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, we so we've grown tremendously.
• 1:17:57
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, a lot of on our boys' side have at least at least three teams, or some age groups that I know have a fourth now.
• 1:18:03
  SPEAKER_03: Um, gold is the top, blue, white, and then yellow, I believe, is that fourth color.
• 1:18:07
  SPEAKER_03: On the girls' side, most of the age groups have at least an A and a B.
• 1:18:11
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:18:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um we've grown, we've gotten really big, and then we have our Thunder program, which is our recreational program.
• 1:18:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, that if if you don't make a lightning team, you can play Thunder, um, that kind of thing.
• 1:18:20
  SPEAKER_01: But we've just started, do you know?
• 1:18:23
  SPEAKER_03: The Thunder program?
• 1:18:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:18:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, they start young.
• 1:18:25
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, they start, I think they even start at the age when you're like parents are out there holding their kids' hand, running around, right?
• 1:18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I don't know, what are they three, four?
• 1:18:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but yeah, so I mean, we we are a city-based program, but man, we are we're developing some really good teams.
• 1:18:40
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, our not just on the I mean our uh 2017 boys, they're an MSDSL team, our 2016 boys are really good.
• 1:18:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we I think people are catching on that, like, hey, we're doing some pretty good things at this quote unquote smaller club, you know.
• 1:18:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:18:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I think people are hopefully going to stay longer and realize that their kids can do a lot of good things here and develop the right way and they're in good environments and all of the things.
• 1:19:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I love I miss the days where a club or a team was represented by four high schools.
• 1:19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Three high schools.
• 1:19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:19:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now these big clubs, 20.
• 1:19:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 20 high school.
• 1:19:20
  SPEAKER_00: They're not friends, they're not friends off the city.
• 1:19:22
  SPEAKER_00: They're not hanging out because they live two hours away.
• 1:19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 1:19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:19:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's so lost nowadays in club soccer.
• 1:19:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:19:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:19:30
  SPEAKER_03: No, we're we're Novi Northville and then a couple private, but um, I mean, the kids hang out all the time because we all live within 15 minutes of one another.
• 1:19:37
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, they're hanging out on the weekends, and our team gets together a lot.
• 1:19:41
  SPEAKER_03: You mean we will, after random games or tournaments, like we're going over to so-and-so's house and we're ordering the pizza and hanging out.
• 1:19:48
  SPEAKER_03: And again, I I think that's a crucial part of the youth soccer experience.
• 1:19:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like, it's it's a good thing to have all of that.
• 1:19:54
  SPEAKER_03: Whereas I said, I think there's been this like turn that like those are like the the little clubs, those are like the non-serious clubs.
• 1:20:01
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:20:01
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's okay to like have you know togetherness and fun together.
• 1:20:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's okay to be a part of a big successful club.
• 1:20:08
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we are competitive.
• 1:20:09
  SPEAKER_03: My like I said, my girls have potential to be something so special.
• 1:20:12
  SPEAKER_03: We're still gonna have a blast and do all the fun things.
• 1:20:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm doing it all.
• 1:20:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like it doesn't have to be one or the other.
• 1:20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is it hard coaching your own kids?
• 1:20:20
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yes and no.
• 1:20:22
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, you know, I love it.
• 1:20:23
  SPEAKER_03: We've made some great memories.
• 1:20:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I think my my kids are different, right?
• 1:20:28
  SPEAKER_03: Different personalities.
• 1:20:29
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, my daughter's a little Spitfire.
• 1:20:31
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, so she there are times where, you know, she thinks I'm being harder on her when I'm not.
• 1:20:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just giving her the same, because I treat everyone the same, the same instruction or direction, or if she, you know, needs to correct something as I do to everyone else, and she'll kind of give it back to me a little bit.
• 1:20:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I love it, and we have such great conversations, and she tells me how much she loves, you know, me coaching her.
• 1:20:53
  SPEAKER_03: And like uh yesterday in our State Cup game, actually, the keeper on the other team got a red card, first red card I've seen in 10, 11-year-old soccer.
• 1:21:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:21:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but my daughter was off at the time, and she actually went over the she but the girl was uh hysterical.
• 1:21:08
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, at that age, they don't understand red card and what you know, why, and it was you know, denying a goal scoring opportunity.
• 1:21:14
  SPEAKER_03: My daughter went over to her and was like, you know, walked right over their sideline and was like, you know, it's okay.
• 1:21:19
  SPEAKER_03: I've gotten cards too.
• 1:21:20
  SPEAKER_03: Like it happens to all of us.
• 1:21:21
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you're good.
• 1:21:22
  SPEAKER_03: And like I didn't think about it until after the game, but I'm like, what a good human.
• 1:21:26
  SPEAKER_03: Like, like, I love that.
• 1:21:28
  SPEAKER_03: Like, my daughter's a competitor.
• 1:21:30
  SPEAKER_03: My daughter does get cards herself.
• 1:21:31
  SPEAKER_03: She is feisty out there, but like it was really cool to see the flip side of it, yeah.
• 1:21:35
  SPEAKER_03: To see her like be a compassionate, empathetic human being, you know, as competitive as she is.
• 1:21:39
  SPEAKER_03: So that that was really cool.
• 1:21:40
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, so it can be challenging coaching your kid.
• 1:21:43
  SPEAKER_03: My uh 2011 son, he's pretty easygoing, so like he's pretty easy to coach, but it it's awesome.
• 1:21:50
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 1:21:50
  SPEAKER_03: It makes for memories, it makes for these really cool dynamics.
• 1:21:53
  SPEAKER_03: I love going to tournaments and like creating these memories and all the things.
• 1:21:58
  SPEAKER_00: One of the first like memories of a coach, of being a coach, I was at a tournament and a parent was like trying to get their daughter to do something.
• 1:22:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the parents like, Jason, will you just tell her to go do that?
• 1:22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because because she'll listen to you.
• 1:22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she'll listen to it.
• 1:22:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then I told her, and then she did it.
• 1:22:16
  SPEAKER_03: They do, yeah.
• 1:22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever like have an assistant or make sure you have an assistant and be like, Can you just go tell her to like do this?
• 1:22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because she won't listen to me today.
• 1:22:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yeah, no, absolutely I do.
• 1:22:27
  SPEAKER_00: And especially are boys worse.
• 1:22:29
  SPEAKER_03: No, be honest.
• 1:22:30
  SPEAKER_03: Girls are girls, girls are because they're emotional in that in terms boys.
• 1:22:35
  SPEAKER_03: If you correct them, it's like, okay, I got this, yeah.
• 1:22:37
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 1:22:38
  SPEAKER_03: Like girls sometimes I think take it personally and they get emotional about it.
• 1:22:41
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:22:42
  SPEAKER_03: So um, again, I have an awesome group, but it did take some time for them to understand if like if you're getting a correction, it's not like in a personal attack.
• 1:22:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're talking about the girls.
• 1:22:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever get like pushback from the girls?
• 1:22:55
  SPEAKER_00: From no, from boys.
• 1:22:56
  SPEAKER_03: Because you're already You know what's interesting.
• 1:22:58
  SPEAKER_03: So being a female, you don't see that a lot.
• 1:23:01
  SPEAKER_03: You see a lot of you know, males coaching girls' teams, you don't see a lot of females coaching boys' teams.
• 1:23:05
  SPEAKER_00: Did you see what happened in the Bundesliga?
• 1:23:07
  SPEAKER_03: No, what happened?
• 1:23:08
  SPEAKER_00: First female is going to be the uh uh the manager of a club out there, it's awesome.
• 1:23:13
  SPEAKER_00: And there's college D1 college men's uh soccer females.
• 1:23:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 1:23:18
  SPEAKER_03: I I you know it's it that it's been interesting.
• 1:23:20
  SPEAKER_03: So, like my group of 2011 boys, they're all 14 and 15 now.
• 1:23:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they respect me so well.
• 1:23:26
  SPEAKER_03: The parents respect me.
• 1:23:28
  SPEAKER_03: Opposing coaches at times, no.
• 1:23:31
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, they look over and they're like, Is it who who is this a soccer mom just coaching this boy's team?
• 1:23:37
  SPEAKER_03: I've gotten a lot of that.
• 1:23:38
  SPEAKER_03: I've had coaches who will walk right by me up to my assistant and like introduce themselves and just skip right by me because there's no way that you know the female is the coach of the team.
• 1:23:48
  SPEAKER_03: I've had refs even do it too.
• 1:23:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like they'll I'll give them the score sheet and they'll be like, Where's your coach?
• 1:23:53
  SPEAKER_03: Like I'm team mom.
• 1:23:54
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so it's interesting being a female coaching on the boys' side.
• 1:23:57
  SPEAKER_00: So you get it from the adults, you don't get it from the player.
• 1:24:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'd it's more so from the adults and the kids.
• 1:24:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's been it's been uh it's a lot of things over the years.
• 1:24:07
  SPEAKER_03: But I but they also, you know what they do?
• 1:24:09
  SPEAKER_03: They underestimate us.
• 1:24:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like they see a female coaching a boy's U15 team, they're like, these guys are not gonna be good.
• 1:24:15
  SPEAKER_03: And then we go out and stomp them.
• 1:24:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I love it, you know, it's it's it's the best.
• 1:24:19
  SPEAKER_03: But I've had a lot of coaches too that get really angry losing to a female, like visibly angry.
• 1:24:26
  SPEAKER_03: It it's wild the dynamics.
• 1:24:28
  SPEAKER_03: Like I've had to definitely deal with some interesting stuff on that side of it, but it doesn't bother me.
• 1:24:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like underestimate me, walk right by me, you know, shake the hand of my assistant.
• 1:24:37
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care.
• 1:24:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna go out and we're gonna beat you.
• 1:24:39
  SPEAKER_00: So do the boys see it?
• 1:24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 1:24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do the boys laugh about it.
• 1:24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Do the boys see the hundred percent.
• 1:24:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's like we do, and I actually think it's sexist men.
• 1:24:47
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's good they see it, right?
• 1:24:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like it is good.
• 1:24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because they're like, oh, I'm not gonna treat women like that.
• 1:24:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's good, yeah.
• 1:24:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like they they like we almost joke about it now.
• 1:24:54
  SPEAKER_03: They see it.
• 1:24:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but like I said, I think they learn from it.
• 1:24:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's like not, you know, not the person kind of person you want to be.
• 1:25:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like it doesn't matter who's coaching the team, you respect that person.
• 1:25:03
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't matter if it's a male, it's a female.
• 1:25:05
  SPEAKER_03: But we're we're still not there with females getting respect.
• 1:25:08
  SPEAKER_03: I've never had this issue on the girls' side.
• 1:25:09
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said, there's a ton of male coaches, there's a ton of female coaches on the girl's side.
• 1:25:13
  SPEAKER_03: That's normal, right?
• 1:25:14
  SPEAKER_03: But people look at it as abnormal, I think, to see a female coaching a boys' U-15 team.
• 1:25:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I've been with them since they were eight, you know, and they're they're awesome, and we we've had success, and I I love them.
• 1:25:26
  SPEAKER_03: And it was the same way with my boys 08 and 09 team, though.
• 1:25:28
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, coaches would go right by me to my assistant.
• 1:25:31
  SPEAKER_03: So it's yeah, it's wild.
• 1:25:33
  SPEAKER_03: But again, it doesn't bother me.
• 1:25:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's you know, like I said, it gives me more motivation.
• 1:25:37
  SPEAKER_03: Let's go out and beat you.
• 1:25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 1:25:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think I mean I think there's there's a coaching shortage.
• 1:25:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 1:25:46
  SPEAKER_00: That a lot of people don't want to get into it.
• 1:25:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they uh a lot of them leave.
• 1:25:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think that we have enough women coaching?
• 1:25:53
  SPEAKER_03: No, I would love to see more women.
• 1:25:54
  SPEAKER_03: I would love to see more women on the boys' side.
• 1:25:56
  SPEAKER_03: Even on the girls' side, there's still a lot of male coaches.
• 1:25:59
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's more male coaches than females on the girls' side, but like I'd love to see it on the boys' side too.
• 1:26:04
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's the thing.
• 1:26:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like, it it doesn't matter if you're male or female.
• 1:26:08
  SPEAKER_03: If you if you have the playing experience, if you have the background, if if you're gonna create the right environment, like I don't care who's coaching my kid as long as it's a good coach and a good person, you know.
• 1:26:18
  SPEAKER_03: But but I do think we're not there yet.
• 1:26:20
  SPEAKER_03: I and I do think females are a little more hesitant to get into it, you know, to get into coaching.
• 1:26:25
  SPEAKER_00: You coach your son's basketball team, right?
• 1:26:27
  SPEAKER_03: I coach uh my daughter's basketball team, but my son, my son's soccer team.
• 1:26:31
  SPEAKER_03: So I've coached all my son's soccer teams, everyone.
• 1:26:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was wondering like, is it the same in basketball as well?
• 1:26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, a shortage of the case.
• 1:26:40
  SPEAKER_03: I coached my son's rec basketball team for a year.
• 1:26:43
  SPEAKER_03: That was rec.
• 1:26:44
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody cared.
• 1:26:44
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't have any issues.
• 1:26:45
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's just at the higher levels.
• 1:26:47
  SPEAKER_03: I I think there's just this an assumption that we're not gonna be as competitive or something.
• 1:26:52
  SPEAKER_03: And again, like they don't they don't know my background, they don't know my resume, they just make an assumption.
• 1:26:57
  SPEAKER_03: So it's it's funny.
• 1:26:58
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's it's wild.
• 1:27:00
  SPEAKER_03: It shouldn't be that way, but it is.
• 1:27:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do you I mean, how do you recruit younger coaches?
• 1:27:08
  SPEAKER_00: Try to get former players and stuff like that?
• 1:27:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, try and get former players.
• 1:27:11
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, um my technical clinics and stuff that I run, I have uh a couple of my 08 players that come help me.
• 1:27:17
  SPEAKER_03: Perfect and they do a great job.
• 1:27:19
  SPEAKER_03: And they're like, I think I want to get into coaching one day.
• 1:27:21
  SPEAKER_03: So yes, like trying to get, you know, and same on the girls' side, like a lot of the girls' players, like the older girls that I train, I'm like, you know, is this something you'd want to do one day?
• 1:27:28
  SPEAKER_03: The thing I'm finding with a lot of the girls, they're like, when I'm done playing in college or when I'm I'm done, like I'm done.
• 1:27:34
  SPEAKER_03: They're just so ready to be done.
• 1:27:36
  SPEAKER_03: So I think maybe that's part of the reason we're not seeing a lot of people go into coaching.
• 1:27:40
  SPEAKER_03: I think because it's become so intense.
• 1:27:43
  SPEAKER_03: I think when players are done, they're done.
• 1:27:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'm out of the game.
• 1:27:46
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe their mind will change, you know, when they have kids of their own, or maybe later in life they'll want to get back into it.
• 1:27:52
  SPEAKER_03: But I I you know, it's it's to to make it to college soccer these days, it is an absolute grind.
• 1:27:58
  SPEAKER_03: It is a tough path.
• 1:28:00
  SPEAKER_03: And again, there are a lot that love it, but it's hard.
• 1:28:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's really hard.
• 1:28:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I think some when they're done, I think, I think even for me, and like I had some bad injuries in college and stuff, I think I needed a break.
• 1:28:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like I think I was just ready to be.
• 1:28:11
  SPEAKER_03: And that's not even when it was that intense.
• 1:28:13
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:28:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like it was different for me growing up than it is for the kids now.
• 1:28:17
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's it's in any sport, it is a tough grind.
• 1:28:20
  SPEAKER_03: Like I even watch it in hockey.
• 1:28:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like the hockey world, you don't just go from high school and go to college hockey.
• 1:28:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like my 16-year-old, he actually turned 17 today.
• 1:28:27
  SPEAKER_03: Happy birthday, Jackson.
• 1:28:29
  SPEAKER_03: Um, he is you you have to go play junior for a couple years before you go to college.
• 1:28:33
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:28:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like, so it's it is a grind for these kids.
• 1:28:36
  SPEAKER_03: So I think some do at the end of the day, when they're done, when their playing days are over, whether that be college, whether that be after, whether it's before college, some just need a break.
• 1:28:45
  SPEAKER_03: Some just need like a let me breathe.
• 1:28:47
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody talks about how like division one is a job.
• 1:28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:28:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, uh getting there is a job.
• 1:28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Get in there.
• 1:28:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what everybody thinks.
• 1:28:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know.
• 1:28:59
  SPEAKER_00: When I've had D1 commits or players commit, it's almost like, oh, the weight is lifted out their shoulder, and then they stop working.
• 1:29:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, a hundred percent.
• 1:29:09
  SPEAKER_03: And then I mean you get there, you're competing every day for a spot for playing time.
• 1:29:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, a hundred percent.
• 1:29:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:29:16
  SPEAKER_03: I also think we've gotten so focused.
• 1:29:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, a lot of kids don't want to play D2 and D3, and I don't even think it's because of the soccer program.
• 1:29:25
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's more like a lot of kids around here, like they want to go have that big school experience.
• 1:29:29
  SPEAKER_00: They want to go to state, they want to go to Michigan.
• 1:29:31
  SPEAKER_03: 100%.
• 1:29:31
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:29:32
  SPEAKER_03: So I I have a lot of really good players at the higher level that had some D2, D3 offers, but they they just want to go to state and be a student.
• 1:29:40
  SPEAKER_03: They know they can't play there, they can't play D1 for state, so they pass up on D twos, D threes, you know, because they want to go have that big school experience.
• 1:29:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, did you see what IMG okay?
• 1:29:52
  SPEAKER_00: So IMG is proposing that the Michigans, the Michigan states, the Big Ten schools, they have B teams.
• 1:30:01
  SPEAKER_00: So so uh the first team obviously plays in the Big Ten.
• 1:30:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 1:30:06
  SPEAKER_00: The B team plays Division II.
• 1:30:08
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 1:30:09
  SPEAKER_03: I I actually like that.
• 1:30:10
  SPEAKER_03: You know why I do too these kids, there are so many of them that are grinding and working hard.
• 1:30:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like, give them the opportunity to go on and play then.
• 1:30:17
  SPEAKER_00: They want to co they want to put the number one reason why kids don't play D2 and D three that could is they want the experience.
• 1:30:25
  SPEAKER_03: The big school experience.
• 1:30:26
  SPEAKER_03: They want the big football team and the big like all of that.
• 1:30:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's great.
• 1:30:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like, then give give them the opportunity to still play and and go have that big school experience.
• 1:30:34
  SPEAKER_03: Give them the whole life experience.
• 1:30:36
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 1:30:36
  SPEAKER_03: I think that would be great.
• 1:30:38
  SPEAKER_00: There's probably some people very opposed to it because it's like a part they think it's a participation trophy.
• 1:30:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's not even if you're playing at that level.
• 1:30:45
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, again, it's lit.
• 1:30:47
  SPEAKER_03: D2, D3.
• 1:30:48
  SPEAKER_03: Again, what are the statistics?
• 1:30:49
  SPEAKER_03: Six, seven percent will even get to D2 or D three.
• 1:30:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's how few of these kids will even be that good.
• 1:30:55
  SPEAKER_03: So, no, it's not a participation, it is still an extremely high level.
• 1:31:00
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:31:00
  SPEAKER_00: I I love the idea.
• 1:31:02
  SPEAKER_03: I do too.
• 1:31:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and there's another reason of so Mercy Hearst is a division one school.
• 1:31:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's in what, New York or Erie or whatever, and uh they have a B team.
• 1:31:16
  SPEAKER_00: They play six games.
• 1:31:17
  SPEAKER_00: Six games, yeah.
• 1:31:18
  SPEAKER_00: That counts against your eligibility.
• 1:31:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 1:31:20
  SPEAKER_00: That sucks.
• 1:31:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 1:31:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, no, why don't we just play a full D2 schedule?
• 1:31:27
  SPEAKER_00: 100% and then or a D3 schedule, and then and then we can do scholarships and or not do scholarships or whatever you want to do.
• 1:31:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't know.
• 1:31:37
  SPEAKER_00: I like that idea.
• 1:31:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's interesting on the hockey side, some of the uh big schools like you know, your dukes, your UNCs that don't have division, you know, one, two, or three hockey programs, they actually have club hockey.
• 1:31:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's really good.
• 1:31:49
  SPEAKER_03: They're drawing thousands of people to their games.
• 1:31:52
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it it's kind of cool.
• 1:31:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's like to see how I mean, those schools don't have the programs, so they're they have these clubs and people are coming out like they love it.
• 1:32:01
  SPEAKER_03: So, so how cool for a kid who maybe was not good enough to go on to play division one, two, or three to still be go able to go to like a Duke or a UNC and to play in front of you know 5,000 people at your gate.
• 1:32:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how cool is that?
• 1:32:13
  SPEAKER_00: And look at all the it's funny because it's small schools that are winning national titles in hockey.
• 1:32:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:32:19
  SPEAKER_00: Western one.
• 1:32:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Fair state, Denver this year, you know.
• 1:32:24
  SPEAKER_00: How is that college process or the junior process in hockey?
• 1:32:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:32:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's tough.
• 1:32:30
  SPEAKER_03: I think hockey's actually the toughest one in that aspect.
• 1:32:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because you do, you you have to go play juniors.
• 1:32:36
  SPEAKER_03: You have to put your education on hold and go play juniors for two, three years and then get a college offer.
• 1:32:42
  SPEAKER_03: That college offer is not guaranteed.
• 1:32:44
  SPEAKER_03: So you could put your education on hold, go play two or three years, and so then what?
• 1:32:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now you got a juniors don't get paid, right?
• 1:32:54
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think so.
• 1:32:55
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 1:32:55
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 1:32:57
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, they do not get paid.
• 1:32:58
  SPEAKER_03: They get billeted, and I think there's maybe like a food stipend and stuff, but no, you're not paid to play.
• 1:33:03
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:33:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 1:33:04
  SPEAKER_03: When you're at juniors, and it it's tough because it's a gamble.
• 1:33:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like there's so many leagues.
• 1:33:09
  SPEAKER_03: There's OHL, there's USHL, there's OJHL, there's BCHL.
• 1:33:12
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's kids from all over the place.
• 1:33:14
  SPEAKER_03: You don't know if you're gonna make it.
• 1:33:15
  SPEAKER_03: So you're moving away, you're putting your education on hold for two, three, sometimes four years.
• 1:33:20
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, in hockey, some of the incoming freshmen are 21 years old.
• 1:33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's what's happening in men's soccer.
• 1:33:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, they're getting older and older and older.
• 1:33:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:33:29
  SPEAKER_00: But what if this new rule uh change happens with the 19 with the it starts high school?
• 1:33:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like hockey's gonna fight that.
• 1:33:36
  SPEAKER_03: I was talking to my oldest son about it, and he's like, it's never gonna happen.
• 1:33:39
  SPEAKER_03: They will fight that tooth or nail.
• 1:33:41
  SPEAKER_03: Because I'm like, that would change everything.
• 1:33:43
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it would be, yeah, it would be wild.
• 1:33:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope it helped, I hope it happens on the men's side.
• 1:33:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I was talking to somebody from MLS Next, and I didn't know this.
• 1:33:56
  SPEAKER_00: U.S.
• 1:33:56
  SPEAKER_00: soccer.
• 1:33:57
  SPEAKER_00: U.S.
• 1:33:58
  SPEAKER_00: soccer has a rule on MLS um rosters, not MLS Next rosters, but the actual MLS pro team.
• 1:34:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so does USL.
• 1:34:07
  SPEAKER_00: You can only have eight internationals.
• 1:34:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 1:34:10
  SPEAKER_00: So they're hoping that US Soccer steps in and says, NCAA, you're or at least Division I, you're limited to eight or roster.
• 1:34:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know that they had those rules.
• 1:34:23
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't either until you just said that.
• 1:34:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I found out last night.
• 1:34:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so hopefully, because yeah, that 19 rule, I I I immediately thought about hockey because I know.
• 1:34:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:34:35
  SPEAKER_00: How okay for hockey?
• 1:34:38
  SPEAKER_00: What position does your son play?
• 1:34:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, both of them are forwards.
• 1:34:41
  SPEAKER_03: So both play center.
• 1:34:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I used to have somebody say that like it's easier to make it as a defender than a forward.
• 1:34:49
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you hear that a lot.
• 1:34:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's really hard to find good defensemen.
• 1:34:51
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's still something that floats around.
• 1:34:53
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how true it is.
• 1:34:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I I think it's at this point making it even to college hockey is so hard.
• 1:35:01
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I bet the numbers may even be less than what they are in soccer in terms of percentages.
• 1:35:05
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's tough.
• 1:35:06
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you're you're we have a lot of, and it's happening in soccer too, so many foreign players, you know, coming in, kind of what you just you know said.
• 1:35:13
  SPEAKER_03: But it's it's really, really tough to make it.
• 1:35:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so specialization position wise, when does that happen in hockey?
• 1:35:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it's it's a you know, in the younger years, you're seven, eights, nines, tens.
• 1:35:28
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like coaches lose you move kids around a lot.
• 1:35:30
  SPEAKER_03: By the time you're 11 or 12, it's pretty locked in.
• 1:35:33
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 1:35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I I just always I'm always fascinated about how other sports do it.
• 1:35:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:35:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, are we just crazy?
• 1:35:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 1:35:42
  SPEAKER_00: I just saw a stat yesterday going back to the international thing in college.
• 1:35:47
  SPEAKER_00: Tennessee, or uh Tennessee, tiny uh tennis.
• 1:35:52
  SPEAKER_00: ACC and the SEC, the like their champions, there was 24 singles players.
• 1:35:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:35:59
  SPEAKER_00: Only four Americans.
• 1:36:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:36:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:36:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like we're not developing American athletes anymore in college.
• 1:36:06
  SPEAKER_03: And that's a yeah, it we're and we're not.
• 1:36:08
  SPEAKER_03: And it's it's I was I was looking at the Syracuse My Alma Mod or men's team roster the other day, and so many foreign players.
• 1:36:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like I was actually, I mean, there were some there when I was there, but I feel like it was more than half the team when I was looking at the roster.
• 1:36:21
  SPEAKER_03: It's a lot of foreign players.
• 1:36:22
  SPEAKER_03: How was it in your day?
• 1:36:23
  SPEAKER_03: So there were a couple.
• 1:36:24
  SPEAKER_03: No, it was rare.
• 1:36:25
  SPEAKER_03: It was rare.
• 1:36:26
  SPEAKER_03: It was like it's the one kid from, you know, I forget where he was from, Germany or somewhere.
• 1:36:31
  SPEAKER_03: It was rare.
• 1:36:32
  SPEAKER_03: Now it's it's not.
• 1:36:33
  SPEAKER_03: It's every yeah.
• 1:36:34
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody when I started complaining about this, everybody was like, Oh, this has always been the this way.
• 1:36:40
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 1:36:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe at the lower levels, NAIA maybe, but not Division I.
• 1:36:44
  SPEAKER_03: My center midfielder and the uh on the women's team was from Canada, and like that was a big deal.
• 1:36:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like, she's from Canada, like that was a big deal.
• 1:36:50
  SPEAKER_03: That's normal now.
• 1:36:52
  SPEAKER_00: These girls are coming and playing the yes, you know, Canada or uh the Hawks have Canadians, Flash have a ton.
• 1:36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and and Buffalo.
• 1:37:00
  SPEAKER_03: She was the only international player on my Syracuse team.
• 1:37:03
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody else was from the United States.
• 1:37:05
  SPEAKER_03: Look at the rosters now, it's really different.
• 1:37:08
  SPEAKER_00: How many were on that team were from New York or New Jersey?
• 1:37:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um four.
• 1:37:14
  SPEAKER_03: Four.
• 1:37:15
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 1:37:15
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 1:37:16
  SPEAKER_03: So we had kids from all over.
• 1:37:17
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, uh California, I mean, all over.
• 1:37:20
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, all over.
• 1:37:21
  SPEAKER_00: Did you do the like the ODP stuff?
• 1:37:24
  SPEAKER_03: So when I was really little, I started to do it, and then I think my parents realized it's a time consuming, doesn't work with basketball, so I didn't.
• 1:37:32
  SPEAKER_03: I think I did it like one year.
• 1:37:33
  SPEAKER_03: But then I never tried out again.
• 1:37:35
  SPEAKER_03: I never did all of that stuff.
• 1:37:36
  SPEAKER_03: I I just, you know, even um, you know, I played kind of uh started with my local club, I eventually moved on to like a better club, but I never chased like that top club in New Jersey.
• 1:37:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's again, if if you're good enough, you're gonna get seen.
• 1:37:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's just what it all comes back to.
• 1:37:52
  SPEAKER_03: And like I said, I did the multi-sport thing, had multiple offers in both sports, and I got to decide that that's that doesn't happen anymore.
• 1:37:59
  SPEAKER_03: You I mean, it just doesn't, because you have to kind of be playing that one sport, and now we now we're just hoping to get an offer because it's become so rare.
• 1:38:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:38:08
  unknown: Wow.
• 1:38:09
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:38:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
• 1:38:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, yeah.
• 1:38:12
  SPEAKER_00: I no, it's just a breath of fresh air of talking about how psycho this is.
• 1:38:17
  SPEAKER_00: It is and just like that the community clubs or the smaller clubs still exist.
• 1:38:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and they thrive really.
• 1:38:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's great, yes.
• 1:38:26
  SPEAKER_03: I I I love it, and again, it doesn't mean I'm bashing the big clubs.
• 1:38:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just saying that there's room for both and there's separate paths, and there's you know, put your kid where they're gonna best develop.
• 1:38:37
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't matter if it's here or if it's here, and I promise you, if they are good enough, they're gonna make it like you know what I mean?
• 1:38:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we're just so panicked about having little Jimmy at nine years old be on the path to greatness.
• 1:38:50
  SPEAKER_03: There's no path, like, like, like no club, no certain coach, no one thing is gonna get them there.
• 1:38:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you know what I mean?
• 1:38:58
  SPEAKER_03: Take it year by year.
• 1:38:59
  SPEAKER_03: Enjoy watching your kid play.
• 1:39:01
  SPEAKER_03: Make sure they're with a good coach, make sure they're developing, make sure they're getting better, make sure they're having fun.
• 1:39:06
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 1:39:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's it.
• 1:39:08
  SPEAKER_00: How how long are you gonna like coach your girls?
• 1:39:11
  SPEAKER_03: Forever.
• 1:39:12
  SPEAKER_03: I want to coach them.
• 1:39:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like, and as long as we can, like I said, it's a special group.
• 1:39:15
  SPEAKER_03: I believe, and maybe maybe it'll prove me wrong in a couple years.
• 1:39:18
  SPEAKER_03: I truly believe believe if this core group stays, maybe we get a couple, you know, outsiders come in at some point.
• 1:39:25
  SPEAKER_03: I believe we can compete with the top, the top girls' teams in this state.
• 1:39:29
  SPEAKER_03: I w my dream would be I want to take them to you know the Jefferson Cup.
• 1:39:33
  SPEAKER_03: I want to go to Wags in Columbia.
• 1:39:35
  SPEAKER_03: I believe they're good enough.
• 1:39:36
  SPEAKER_03: Now we'll now we'll see.
• 1:39:38
  SPEAKER_01: Wags, Wags, good old Wags.
• 1:39:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:39:41
  SPEAKER_01: Wags talked about that was a big one.
• 1:39:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:39:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:39:44
  SPEAKER_03: Is it still around?
• 1:39:45
  SPEAKER_03: I hope it is.
• 1:39:46
  SPEAKER_03: I want to go to Wags.
• 1:39:47
  SPEAKER_03: I loved it.
• 1:39:47
  SPEAKER_03: I loved it as a kid.
• 1:39:49
  SPEAKER_03: But it's, you know, I d again, and we'll see.
• 1:39:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know, hopefully people stay.
• 1:39:55
  SPEAKER_03: Well, will people panic and go?
• 1:39:57
  SPEAKER_03: I have some really good players.
• 1:39:58
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 1:39:59
  SPEAKER_03: But I I I'm hoping they'll, you know, see that their child is getting better, see that there was a good experienced coach, see how good our team is, and just let it play out year to year.
• 1:40:09
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:40:10
  SPEAKER_03: You know?
• 1:40:11
  SPEAKER_00: The reason why I asked that is because what happens if you're not their coach?
• 1:40:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like what would happen to the team, you know?
• 1:40:18
  SPEAKER_03: I think I think a lot would leave.
• 1:40:19
  SPEAKER_03: I do, I do.
• 1:40:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:40:21
  SPEAKER_00: How do clubs how are you supposed to build clubs when it's so coach focused?
• 1:40:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:40:27
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's hard.
• 1:40:28
  SPEAKER_03: It really is.
• 1:40:29
  SPEAKER_03: It really is.
• 1:40:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I've had parents say that to me, like if you ever leave, we're out.
• 1:40:33
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and I and I and I get it, um, but it it does, it does make it challenging, right?
• 1:40:38
  SPEAKER_00: It feels good at the same time.
• 1:40:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 1:40:40
  SPEAKER_03: No, it is, it is, it is, you know.
• 1:40:43
  SPEAKER_03: But but I on the flip side, I have other people that are like, we love you, you're awesome, this team is awesome, like your development's great.
• 1:40:50
  SPEAKER_03: But if we don't get over to that big club, like what's gonna happen?
• 1:40:52
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, who's gonna be your coach over there?
• 1:40:54
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 1:40:55
  SPEAKER_03: Uh how much is your kid gonna play?
• 1:40:57
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 1:40:58
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, grass isn't always greener type of thing, you know what I mean?
• 1:41:02
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes I I'm I'm like, you some people need to go and see it for themselves.
• 1:41:07
  SPEAKER_03: Some it may work out for, but we have a lot that come back, you know, because it didn't work out, or the kid didn't develop, or they they sat on the bench, or they thought they were gonna go over there and hey, I'm a striker.
• 1:41:18
  SPEAKER_03: Well, they decide you're not, they decide you're a defender, and then they're miserable.
• 1:41:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we're overthinking things.
• 1:41:24
  SPEAKER_03: We are overthinking things, take it year by year.
• 1:41:27
  SPEAKER_03: If they're developing, if they're in a good environment with a good coach, like you're good, you're okay.
• 1:41:32
  SPEAKER_03: We don't need to panic.
• 1:41:33
  SPEAKER_03: Enjoy watching them play.
• 1:41:35
  SPEAKER_03: It's the best time of your life, I promise you.
• 1:41:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like they're gonna look back one day and be like, this is silly, it's crazy that we worried so much about this and that and everything.
• 1:41:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, just love it, enjoy it.
• 1:41:45
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, you know, your kids so much more.
• 1:41:47
  SPEAKER_03: Every so at the end of tryouts, every year, and we get big numbers.
• 1:41:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like my my girls' tryout this year.
• 1:41:52
  SPEAKER_03: I want to say we had like 60 kids.
• 1:41:55
  SPEAKER_03: We had a lot of girls, which is huge for our program.
• 1:41:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like, for a lightning program, that's a lot.
• 1:41:59
  SPEAKER_03: That is a lot.
• 1:42:00
  SPEAKER_03: So I always call the parents in at the end and I always tell them, like, your child is so much more than a soccer tryout.
• 1:42:06
  SPEAKER_03: So much more.
• 1:42:07
  SPEAKER_03: And everyone's always like, Yeah, wow, they are like again, like their worth and the things they're gonna do in life are not based on their status in soccer.
• 1:42:18
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 1:42:19
  SPEAKER_00: How can everybody find you?
• 1:42:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh or the lightning and everything.
• 1:42:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean, our lightning program you can find through the City of Novi website.
• 1:42:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, my company, my training, it's called uh Neck For Fit.
• 1:42:30
  SPEAKER_03: I have a website.
• 1:42:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you can find me through there.
• 1:42:32
  SPEAKER_03: You can find all the programs I run through the city on the city website.
• 1:42:35
  SPEAKER_03: Perfect.
• 1:42:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but yeah, it's thank you for having me on.
• 1:42:38
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks.
• 1:42:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's great.
• 1:42:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for reaching out.
• 1:42:40
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 1:42:41
  SPEAKER_00: And again, like it just gives me hope that the game isn't completely lost.
• 1:42:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:42:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 1:42:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is this type of environment I grew up in and I miss it.
• 1:42:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:42:53
  SPEAKER_03: And it's okay.
• 1:42:53
  SPEAKER_03: I know, right?
• 1:42:54
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is yeah.
• 1:42:56
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and that's kind of that's why I'm trying to create that with my teams.
• 1:42:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I want that environment, I want that experience.
• 1:43:01
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's it's okay to have it all, it doesn't have to be a job at 10 years old.
• 1:43:05
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 1:43:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:43:07
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:43:08
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 1:43:09
  SPEAKER_00: I hate soccer.
• 1:43:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hey guys, thanks for watching this episode of the I Hate Soccer Podcast.
• 1:43:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel stuck in your recruiting process, we created a guide that includes feedback from 15 college coaches and 10 current college soccer players.
• 1:43:27
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• 1:43:35
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• 1:43:39
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• 1:43:41
  SPEAKER_00: A couple weeks ago, I'm training one of my college players.
• 1:43:44
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• 1:43:45
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• 1:43:49
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• 1:43:55
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• 1:44:04
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• 1:44:07
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• 1:44:21
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• 1:44:27
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