Latest / Outspoken the Podcast / TMG: Martha Kalifatidis Mum Shamed Over Viral 'Yelling' Video

Transcript

TMG: Martha Kalifatidis Mum Shamed Over Viral 'Yelling' Video · Outspoken the Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Mums Group you actually want
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to be a part of. I'm Sophie Torber and I'm
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: joined by my sisters and journalists, Kate and Amy. Now,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: last week was Census Week and one question divided households.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: That question was around unpaid domestic work. So the Census
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: wanted to know in the last week how much time
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: each person spent doing unpaid domestic duties.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: And off the back of this, a video went absolutely
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: viral on TikTok by a creator called Hannah who asked
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: how many couples got into an argument over that question.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Her guess was 90%. Did you guys have an argument
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: with your husbands?
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't have the opportunity to get in an argument
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: about it because I filled this out on my own.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I have to say my husband was looking after our
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: son whilst I filled it out.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: So how many hours did you put down for him?
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Did you even ask him about it?
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I did yell out to him. I put, I think
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: it was the five hours. In his defense, he actually
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: is pretty good at cleaning up inside. I think ever
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: since we've become parents, our home is our domain. So
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: you're stuck there a lot. So he's very good at
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: doing the kitchen. Hotel Hancock, like we were calling it. Yeah,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: that's right.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: How many people would have embellished it though? Well, I, again,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: also did the form myself. I did it Tuesday morning
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: when my dad sent through a panic message saying, did
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: you know you get fined every day that you don't
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: do it?
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: It was like $ 300 and something every single day. Yeah.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: So I was like, oh my God, I'm just going
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: to quickly do it now. And I don't mean to
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: be insufferable, but I did select on my own accord
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: that my husband does five to 14 hours. of domestic
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: labour because I thought that was fair. I did put
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: myself down for 15.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: To 29 though.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I wonder if this is a generational thing because we
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: got into a bit of a disagreement with our dad
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: at family dinner because he was trying to tell us
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: that he did over five hours of domestic labour and
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I can tell you he does not I love the way.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: He turned one job into so many different jobs.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like I had to put the rubbish
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: in the bin and then I took the bin outside
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: and I then had to bring the bin back in.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: The only job that should be broken down into those
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: details is the laundry.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: And to be fair, Dad does do the laundry. Why
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: the laundry?
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Because it's like you have to manage collecting all of
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: the clothes and actually turning it on. then remembering to
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: take it out and hang it out and then packing
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: it all away. That's not just one job. That's three
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: in one, I'd say. You know what pisses me off?
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of talk about blue jobs and pink jobs.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: And at first I thought, oh, that's very sexist. But
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: if that bin is not taken out on Tuesdays, I'm like, Dale,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: that's your job.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I feel like the question should have excluded
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: outdoor jobs because I think there were a lot of
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: hours being pumped up from gardening, which I actually think
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: is quite a pleasure to do sometimes.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, that was a technicality that a lot of males
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: were getting off the hook. There was this other hilarious
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: video posted on TikTok by a creator called Lucy O
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: and I'll set the scene. She's the one filling out
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: the census form on the computer and she filmed her
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: husband's response to the contentious question.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Let's take a listen.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Now, this is the question that's getting everyone in Australia
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: and it can end up in a fight, which I
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: believe ours could. In the last week, Did Andrew spend
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: time doing unpaid domestic work for their household?
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: No. Yes.
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: The options are no.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Yes, I did. Listen. No. Yes, less than five hours. Yes,
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: five to 14.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, 15 to 29.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: And yes, 30 hours.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: Five to 14. Fuck off.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Come on, be true to me.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Be truthful. 5.14.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: What?
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: What do you do?
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Heaps.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Barney does more than you.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: All right, I'm ticking less than five.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: What?
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: What did all the gardening? The other day. Oh, that's true.
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: 5.14, thank you.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's an off week.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: That's a rare week.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: 5.14, thanks.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I feel like there are a lot of men having
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: rare weeks during the census. Have you guys seen that
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: TikTok where women say they want to do the laundry
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: like men do the barbecue? So they literally pull up
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: a chair and crack open a drink and just stare
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: at the washing machine going.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Maybe we've got to romanticize it. That's what my son does.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: He loves the laundry. Like he looks like he's busy
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: at work. He goes from the Washing machine to the dryer.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: He's a good little worker. I should have put down
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: a couple of hours for him to form. I'm surprised
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: the form didn't ask. Well, that's what's important though.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: We're raising boys and I want them to be, you know,
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: when it comes to census night, when they're older, ticking
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: the box legitimately that says they've done between, you know,
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: over five hours. Also filling out the form because a
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: lot of the comments off the back of those two
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: viral TikToks were around the fact that it was only
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: women filling out the form. So one person wrote, no
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: one's husband is doing the census, which got 13.9 thousand likes.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Another said, how many couples are doing the census together
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: full stop?
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: Lol.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: I did it for the both of us again. Add
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: that to the unpaid labor tally, girls. And someone else wrote,
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: no arguments in my household because I did it and
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: wrote zero for him, which got 14,600 likes. I feel
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: bad because I was the person in our relationship who
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: didn't fill in the census form. But to be fair,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I had had Harry all day and was sitting down
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: to do my work and Day was like, I can
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: do this one.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: And I'd cooked dinner. It was a stupid fucking form anyway.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Like it was an absolute waste of time.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I saw a lot of people being like, and I
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: also said that my job was a space cowboy and
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: that I like all these ridiculous things. Martha Kalafatidis has
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: faced scathing criticism for yelling at her toddler in a
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: recent TikTok video. The former maths contestant divided fans with
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: some saying her reaction was disproportionate to the behavior, whilst
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: others defended her saying it was normal for a busy mom.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: How did the drama unfold online, Soph?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Well, she was actually filming a sponsored TikTok video for
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: an electrolyte drink. And as part of the video, she
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: was also getting breakfast ready for her kids. So She
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: captioned the video, I'm a psycho. I know I need
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: to be more patient. How does anyone get anything.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Done with kids?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Now, in the video, her three and a half year
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: old son, Looch, was standing on a kitchen stool next
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: to her whilst her five month old daughter, Sunny, was
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: strapped to her chest. So clearly she was already overstimulated
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: with both of them there. Oh, I felt so bad
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: for her. It looks so stressful.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: And I totally get how much time it takes for
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: a toddler to do something. They always want to be involved.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: And you could tell she didn't have much time and
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: was just stressing.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, these series of videos ran for eight minutes
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: and you could tell that Martha was absolutely at the
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: end of her tether. I mean, I was overstimulated just
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: watching it. Looch was nonstop talking at her about the
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: drink and his porridge while Sunny was happily babbling away.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: And it was clear that Martha needed some personal space.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: At one stage, she told Looch that he trapped her
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: into the corner of the kitchen by getting onto the
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: stool and she gestured for him to move back. Now,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: things went up a notch when Martha proceeded to make
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: porridge and she paused to give Sunny a slice of
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: the orange to try. And you could see that she
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: was keen to see Sunny's reaction, but Looch kept screaming
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: in Sunny's face. Let's take a listen to what unfolded next.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Should we give her a little bit to try?
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: I saw this video organically and I sent it straight
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: to you because I thought you guys could relate to
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: how overstimulated poor Martha looked. And I've got to admit,
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: I actually laughed because the irony of her telling Looch
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: not to yell in the baby's face and her yelling
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: in his face. But in saying that, I didn't blame her.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: The situation looks stressful as fuck.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, I mean, I saw this being pumped up everywhere
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: in the mainstream media because people have been, you know,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: outraged by the reaction. And I personally didn't see what
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: the fuss was about when I was watching this. I
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: was like, this is just a normal reaction from an
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: overstimulated mum who was simply trying to give him a
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: few boundaries because he was sort of yelling in the
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: baby's face. Was the reaction from mums? Like, was the
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: bad reaction? Yeah, it's other mums.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Because, I mean... I feel like, not that I haven't
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: screamed in Harry's face like that, but today I was
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: making something in the kitchen for his lunch and I
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: was so overstimulated. And she obviously just snapped.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Well, I think it's also when you're that postpartum, because
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: her daughter's only a couple of months old, you still
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: have that sort of protective hormone. And I think she
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: was being very protective over her daughter. And let's not forget,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: she also had HG during that pregnancy. Can we give
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: her a little bit of a break?
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I also think it comes down to the fact that
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: we're not used to seeing mums share that type of
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: raw content. Usually the raw content is around their child misbehaving,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: not around them actually responding in a negative way. Normally
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: as a mother, you might edit your reaction out. Also,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: if you watch Martha's content with her mum, they are
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: constantly speaking like that to each other. Like I saw
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: a comment that said, obviously people who have a problem
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: with it didn't grow up in an ethnic household.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I've got friends that are.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: Italian and Greek, and this is just the way That
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: people speak to each other.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, what about our household? Well, you don't even
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: have to be ethnic.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, when we were growing up, I remember one
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: of our neighbours said, oh, did you guys go away
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: on a holiday? I couldn't hear screaming from the house.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I think it's just having multiple kids maybe. I mean,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: as you can imagine, this video attracted a massive response.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: At the time of recording, it's had over 841,000 views.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: The brand must be pretty chuffed. Did the drink sell
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: out as well?
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, apparently the drink did sell out. So it got
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: a lot of eyeballs on it. Now, thousands of parents
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: added their two cents in the comment section. Some parents
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: thought her reaction was quite disproportionate to the behavior, saying
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: they felt as though Looch was merely trying to interact
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: with his baby sister rather than doing something seriously wrong.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: One wrote, stop screaming in her face, gosh, and screams
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: in his face. While other parents started analyzing Martha's relationship
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: with her son, one wrote, this is so sad. Looch
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: used to be your everything. You idolized the ground he
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: walked on. Now you are completely disassociated from him like
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: he's the enemy or something. This broke my heart. Are
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: you okay, Martha?
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: What the hell is.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Wrong with people?
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Martha has just had a second child. She's obviously feeling
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: guilty enough dividing her time. And then to make such
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: a sweeping comment based on a bloody eight minute video.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, you have no idea what was going on
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: before and after that video or the extra time she
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: probably is putting in with her son.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: But she also probably would have copped it if she
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: allowed Looch to just scream in his baby sister's face.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, she was trying to provide him with some boundaries.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Other people questioned why she posted the content in the
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: first place, particularly because it was a sponsored post.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: I wonder if the brand approved the post because that
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: would be interesting because would they have flagged or maybe
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: edited that?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: It's Tropicca. I mean, they worked with Sarah's Day who
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: was quite controversial at the time. Maybe they like a
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: little bit of controversy and eyeballs on it.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: But other times I have watched Martha's content and I've thought,
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I can't believe you've uploaded this 10-minute video.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: But that's just, it's so on brand for her. Well,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: a lot of people were arguing that she was using
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: her child as content during a very vulnerable moment of him. Oh,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: it wasn't even that bad. I'm sorry, it wasn't that bad.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Do you know what?
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: I think people in the comments actually need to stop
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: and take a look at themselves because I was pretty
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: shocked and disgusted around some of the commentary around Looch's development.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Like people were acting as if they've got psychology degrees
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: and telling Martha to go and get this and that
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: checked out. It was absolutely disgusting.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Well, it was actually people who claim to be childhood
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: educators and child protection workers who were making those comments.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Post a picture of your degree, mate. I'm not going
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: to go into the comments because they were just so revolting,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: but essentially people were trying to diagnose Looch. I mean,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: How utterly upsetting for Martha to be reading these comments
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: from so-called, you know, do-gooders.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: I have to admit, when I watched this video and
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: then looked at the comment section, it actually justified in
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: my mind why I don't share my son online, because
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: this was a part of what put me off from
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: posting him anymore. Obviously, there's a lot of dangers out
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: there that people are aware of, but just people thinking
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: that they have the right to judge what he's doing
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: and just making any comment because they obviously don't care
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: about your child the way you do. But even the
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: fact that someone was commenting as if they know Martha's
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: son better than her. Yeah. It's like you do not
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: know him.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: You only know him from TikTok.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: And unfortunately that's what happens because people then have this
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: parasocial relationship with your child and think that they know
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: them better than you do on, you know, a couple
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: of minutes of videos every few days.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Well, I think people also thought it was an open
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: invitation to criticise her son's appearance, which was also revolting.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: One person said, go get his hair cut.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, that has been a long running comment on the post.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: It's like, why do people even care? It's not your child.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: A lot of parents went into bat for Martha, clearly
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: seeing this moment for what it was, a sleep deprived,
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: overstimulated mum who was simply trying to care for a
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: newborn and also manage a toddler at the same time.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: One user wrote, nah, I'm on Martha's side. Don't you
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: all act like you don't lose some patience here and
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: there with a toddler and a newborn?
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Chill.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: Another said, everyone who criticizes you has their kids in daycare,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: 8am to 6pm. Chin up, girl. Now, I think that
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: majority of parents listening to this will acknowledge that there
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: have been moments where you've snapped it at your child
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: and you're not particularly proud of yourself.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: They're generally moments that you don't film and post on
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: the internet, though.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Well, that's the issue. I mean, if you did sit
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: and record all of the moments where you interacted with
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: your child and they were published for others to see,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: there would be moments that you probably weren't proud of.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I suppose it's a bit refreshing to see this type
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: of content. I mean, as I said before, we're used
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: to seeing parents only air their child's worst moments rather
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: than sharing their own.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: That's very true because I think a lot of the
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: time we will see kids behaving badly, but we won't
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: see parents behaving badly. And we'll also see very sanitized
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: versions of parenting, whether it's the very clean house and
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: the very put together parent giving the child a healthy
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: snack and In saying that, I do think more and
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: more we have been seeing more of the reality of parenting,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: but not so much people being vulnerable enough to show
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: them snapping at their own children.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the vulnerability seems to come when a parent has
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: a debrief away from their child and they're talking about
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: how they felt. I mean, we've seen Steph Clare Smith
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: open up on her stories in the last couple of years,
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: retelling stories of how she's lost her cool with her
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: kids and saying that she wasn't proud of herself. But
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: she's never actually gone that step further and filmed it
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: and uploaded it, which I suppose is a little bit different.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I wonder if people are going to start filming themselves
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: losing their cool at their husbands as well. That might
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: be a new genre of content. Now, fellow TikToker and
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: mum creator Indie Clinton came to Martha's defence and I
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: found her post so sweet. She wrote, Gosh, Sunny is
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: so beautiful, growing so quickly. You're in the trenches, mummy.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: I get shivers watching this because you couldn't pay me
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: to go back. The overstimulation from the sound of the baby.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: the constant talking, the always needing, wanting something, having a
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: baby strapped to you and one next to you, along
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: with sleep deprivation and postpartum, along with working and owning business.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: You're not alone. You're doing amazing, mummy. Now, Martha ended
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: up replying to Indy saying, I know there is a
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: silver lining just hard to spot right now. And I
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: just think, you know, we claim to know what women
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: are going through postpartum and say, be really sympathetic to
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: those in your orbit. Yet, There are so many mums
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: who decide to jump in to any online creators, whether
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: they've got a large following or a small one, and
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: mum shame constantly, even though they themselves know exactly what
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: the other woman is going through.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Because it makes them feel better. It makes them feel superior.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: Indie just summarised that so well. They're like, I don't
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: even have a toddler and a baby. I just have
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: a toddler who's wanting my attention all the time. And
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: that actually makes me feel sick.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: It made me feel sick too.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Because I feel like I'm overstimulated as it is. And
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: that's why when I saw this clip of Martha, I
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, I didn't even bat an eyelid because
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: I just was like, well, she's obviously just so overstimulated
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: and she's just telling him don't scream in the kids' face.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: And for Martha, she is trying to manage this jump
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: from one to two kids as well whilst also managing
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: her child's clothing line and also her influencer career. I
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: saw in another post she and Micah were off to
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: film content for Airbnb, which might sound like a bit
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: of fun, but when you've.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Got two kids that you've got to get their schedules
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: in line, get their routines, bring everything, like it's difficult
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: when you're in the trenches to do those sorts of things.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: It is.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: And it's really interesting because we're seeing a lot of
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: influencers become full-time mums slash content creators. And for us,
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: like for someone who produces a podcast and also looks after,
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: all of us look after our children full-time, it's fascinating
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: to watch because I think that a lot of people
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: don't understand how stressful that can be.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Well, the balance of it all, because I think majority
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: of people now do have to put their children into daycare.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: They don't have a job that's flexible from home. And
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I think that there is a lot of jealousy around
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: that as well. You know, obviously it is a privilege
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: to be at home with your children, but there's also
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: a lot of cons because you are then literally managing
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: a child full time whilst also trying to manage a
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: full time job.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: At the same time as well. Yeah.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: I think there's, there's a privilege to both really returning
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: to work and also being able to stay at home.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: But I think a lot of people think that these
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: influencers all have nannies and babysitters and all this kind
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: of stuff going on. And in reality, I think a
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: lot of them are doing the full-time slog as a
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: full-time mom, and then they're having to fit all of
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: their work into the nap times, after hours, all that
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: sort of thing. So you You know, her snapping slightly,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: it's very understandable.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: We've only seen a snippet of her mourning. We don't
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: know if this is the first time that her son
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: has screamed in her newborn's face or the 10th time
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: that he's done it that morning. And I am surprised
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: by the pile on, particularly because postpartum rage is something
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: that has been in the zeitgeist for quite some time now.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, it is a relatively new term to describe
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: those intense and sometimes sudden episodes of rage that a
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: lot of women feel after having a baby.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: I actually find that my postpartum rage early on would
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: just kick in at the slightest inconvenience. So I would
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: be handling everything fine.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's sunny.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, my gorgeous baby.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: And then I actually remember, I think it was the
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: first week that Dale went back to work and I'd
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: seem to be handling everything okay. And then my kitten
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Winnie escaped and I was like, my god how am
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: I meant to do this Harry's crying the kittens escaped
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: what am I meant to do and I was like
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: am I meant to do fucking everything I was on
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: the phone to you when that happened and I was
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: like oh dear the.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Thing is quite often when it comes to postpartum rage
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: people take it out on anyone but the baby though
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean like it's out on their
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: pets I've heard a lot like oh that's sickening that
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: is disgusting somehow my TikTok found me where it was
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: like this algorithm of people filming their dog and being like,
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I used to love my dog, but now I can't
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: stand the sight of him. And I actually was like, one,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: as someone who's obsessed with their dog, this deeply saddens me.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: And two, I blocked it because I'm like, I don't
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: want this content popping up on my page.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: I don't resonate with it, but I can see if
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: you had like a really big, loud dog. I mean,
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: even like their licking or their little noises.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: Well, Martha actually decided to respond to her critics on TikTok.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: So alongside her fiance and baby daddy, Michael Brunelli, she
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: said this. Oh my God, hi.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: It's a defaulted perfect parent on the internet.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: Look at all these.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Perfect parents just sitting on their phones, scrolling away, scrolling
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: and watching and judging. I love that this is the
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: way that she chose to respond to them because she
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: has a point. You know, if you're that great of
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: a parent, get off your phone, be in the real world, engage.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: With your child.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Now, she also uploaded a video of her and her son, Looch,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: looking out at the water with a caption that read,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: all that matters.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Rich parents are now hiring household staff to cater for
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: their children's every whim, from chefs to make their babies
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: purees to high-end potty training consultants and even professional bike
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: riding teachers. the parents say their parenting teams are helping
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: them spend more quality time with their children without being
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: burdened by the mundane tasks.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I wonder what Tommy Fury thinks about this.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: He was outraged last week when Kim Kardashian had a
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: staff of nannies to look after her children it actually
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: reminds me of that meme where it says my husband
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: asking to have a second child like what would need
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: to happen in order to do that and then they
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: flash like a nanny a private chef a cleaner look
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: i've got to admit it sounds pretty nice how much
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: are we having to save up to afford something like
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: this Well, apparently a bike riding coach costs around $ 500.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: What? Isn't that something nice to do with your child though,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: teach them to ride their bike? What the fuck?
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: You can literally hire somebody to do anything for your children.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: It's really sad.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: You can even get someone to pack your kids' bags
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: for summer camp. This is obviously happening in America. That
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: costs $ 179 an hour. And there's a US company called
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: the Pavilion Agency. So they hire out household staff. And
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: their owner, Seth Norman, told the New York Times, They
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: have been busier than ever.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Do you know what rubs me up the wrong way?
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: The fact that you said that parents aren't wanting to
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: be burdened by the mundane tasks. As Sophie said, isn't
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: teaching your kid how to ride a bike one of
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: those really special moments that you share with them? I mean,
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: I get the potty training, but again, as much as
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: I'm not looking forward to potty training, I don't really
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: want some random doing it either.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Who wants a stranger teaching their child how to go
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: to the bathroom?
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Well, someone who has been utilising some of these services
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: is multi-millionaire Emma Greed. So she is the co-founder of
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Skims and Good American. So her team includes nannies, cleaners,
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: a chef and chief of staff. And if you've been
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: living under a rock, she is on about every business podcast.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: She has the coolest accent and she is not ashamed
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: to have this team of people. She was actually saying
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: recently on a podcast that she wants to be really
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: open about all the help that she gets because people
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: know her for being such an amazing businesswoman. And she
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: says like, I'm not home all the time.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: I have to admit it.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: I appreciate the transparency, but then it's difficult to take
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: advice about something, you know, as I touched on working
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: from home from someone who is so out of touch
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: and doesn't actually need to be home because she's got
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: a team of staff doing everything for her at home.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: So she wouldn't understand how good working from home is
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: for mums. The fact that you don't have to commute
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: to work, that you can manage your own schedule, you
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: can pop on some washing while you're working from home,
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: you can.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we all don't have a chief of staff handling
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: our nannies.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Well, earlier this year, she sparked debate when she
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: described herself as a max three-hour mum on weekends.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: So she said that after she's been with her kids
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: from 9am until noon on the weekends, she's done with
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: them and prefers to move on to other activities that
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: fill her cup. She went on to say that mums
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: shouldn't be expected to dedicate every waking moment to their
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: children and it was an unrealistic and exhausting standard of
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Let's have a listen to more of what she said.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: Listen, I want to be really honest about this. I
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: spend all my time working and I'm a mum of four.
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: I think that I am a core memory mum. I'm
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: not going to walk it back. I'm somebody that really,
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: really cares about the big things, the big moments, Christmas, Thanksgiving.
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: But let's be honest, if I've been at work all week,
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: Monday through Friday, and I'm with my kids all morning
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: on a Saturday, there's time that I need for me.
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: And I say things that a lot of people think.
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: I think that most mums, after playing with their kids regularly,
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: taking their kids to the birthday parties and getting up
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: on a Saturday and going through their house and running
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: their errands are exhausted. So I'm just being honest.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Look, I understand the sentiment around women returning to work
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: and women needing breaks, but I think it's quite sad
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: to say that you only want to spend three hours
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: max with your children on the weekends when you've been
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: at work all week.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: But also the phrasing around, well, I need to fill
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: my own cup. Totally get that. And I totally support
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: women needing to do things for themselves. But what about
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: the people that don't have a team of nannies that
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: then can allow that to happen? I mean, her comments
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: obviously come from a place of privilege, but there's also
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: the argument that no one is attacking Emma's husband for
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: doing the same thing. Like he is also a businessman,
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: but no one's like, isn't it disgraceful that he's only
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: with the kids for three hours? It's because Emma Greed
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: gets asked about parenting all the time because often these
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: questions are thrown to mums like, oh, how do you
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: do it all?
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think it's interesting because her saying that
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: she wants to be a core memory mom. It sounds like,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: you know, I'll be there for all of the activities
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: that are really fun and mean something to the kids.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, the things that
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: most kids remember are the everyday menial things that you
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: do together.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: I saw a TikTok the other day talking about how
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: often it's those small things that you do that you
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: don't even think of at the time that end up
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: being core memories for kids.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: And it's so true.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I remember when we were little and mum would have
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: a dinner party on and she would take us around
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: the block and we'd pick flowers from people's yards. You know,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: they were hanging over the fence. And it's so funny
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: because I hadn't thought about that for years and then
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: it popped up and for mum that was probably like, oh,
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: how do I keep these kids entertained for five minutes?
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: The other question though is, is this the new village?
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Like people talk about how there is this lack of
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: village now and lack of help. Are we all having
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: to hire people to do the jobs that people like
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: friends and family used to do? But no one's got
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: the money to facilitate this village. So, okay, does that
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: mean only the rich get a village? Let's get into
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: our recommendations. And I have got one for the toddler
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: mums or really any mum that is at the stage
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: where they need to brush their kids' teeth because It
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: is an absolute struggle for me. Every morning and every
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: night I dread it because my son hates it. And
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: as soon as I try and get the toothbrush in there,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: he just closes his mouth. He chomps on the toothbrush.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: We've tried all these distraction techniques. We've also tried the
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: thing where you sort of lie them on the ground
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: and brush their teeth. Nothing has worked until now. And
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: if you believe it, I got the tip from TikTok
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: where I get most of my parenting advice.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I thought it was ChatGPT you got most of your
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: advice from. That too.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Now, a woman called Emma C who claims to be
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: a toddler translator shared this tip. So essentially, when you're
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: brushing your kid's teeth, you go, oh, is that a
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: little tiny dinosaur hiding behind that tooth? Now, when I
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: saw it, I was like, there is no way that's
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: going to work. And I was like, I'll stuff it.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: I'll try it. Oh my God, my son just literally
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: opened his mouth and then I kept going. I was like, oh,
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: is that a little giraffe hiding there?
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: And he smiled and just happily opened his mouth and
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: let me brush his teeth. It was so weird.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: I've now started doing it with like, you know, is
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: that Lightning McQueen behind that back tooth?
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's going to work with my
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: 14 month old, but I could try it tonight. Definitely
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: try it.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: I want to hear if other mums try it and
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: it works for them because I was absolutely shocked by
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: this revelation.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: I have a recommendation. It's more of a style recommendation.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: So my son has just started walking. And he does
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: the cutest walk at the moment. Isn't the most adorable
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: thing you've ever seen? He holds his hands up in
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: the air. It's like he's dancing. Like it just brings
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: me so much joy. And for his birthday, he got
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: given an Asics pair of shoes. And I was hesitant
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: to get him in them because, you know, you hear
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: about how you should have the ones that aren't so sturdy. Oh,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: like the ducky ones? Yeah, I've seen those ducky ones
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: all over my Instagram. Anyway, you gave me a secondhand
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: pair of Jacks, sort of similar to that. the poor
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: man's duckies, and they just keep slipping off at the park.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: So I've tried him in the sturdy Asics, which are
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: so cool, and he loves them. He was walking around
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: the zoo yesterday. So go for the cool shoes because
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: he's really rocking it with his track suit at the
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: moment too. On that note, that is all we have
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: time for today. Thank you so much for joining us
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: for this episode. If you have enjoyed it and you
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: have the time, Could you please make sure.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: You leave us a five-star review?
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: This episode was recorded on the traditional land of the
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: We pay respect to elders past and present.